Andy | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 20 Ep 23: Cotton Candy Salad, Keep the Archive Alive

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 12:19:01 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-13.mp3
Show: #498
Length: 25:41
Size: 17.6mb
Format: mp3

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Thanks to Jen Stibi for Keeping the Archive Alive
We Jen upheaved and happy at work
Here's a podcast hug for you
You can't miss the banner
It's another Friday the 13th show
I wouldn't get out of this set of shows without it
Many, many things are going wrong today
How can you be freaked out about today?
Yesterday should have done it for you
Glad to be getting to the expert level
I didn't say it like that
Oh, really
Well, I don't know
Let me ask Betsy
That should be my motto
The common sense psychic
He told you it was Father's Day this weekend
Kris is happy in his squirrel nest downstairs
Keeping it as a secret
Having a surprise party
Betsy's Blue Mountain Alerts
I knew we were being invited to a jamboree
Waldorf salad vs. apple salad
Some might say they are the same
Like the hotel?
They wouldn't think hotel
I gotta be nice
You can do that, you know Improv
Not sure you can pull it off
Raised in a hamster cage
Not sure the kids can pull it off
Elliot might not be able to get passed grams smoking in the backyard
Don't get uppity, you're ignorant
It's pronounced "ig-nernt"
You shouldn't talk about that
What is your practice face?
You are a sad, sad human being
Making a new dessert - cotton candy salad
Did you try that new spicy chicken sandwich at Wednesday?
Diet and the correlation between behavior
Doctors can't fully help you
Why?
They have businesses to run
It is the truth
They are just people who need jobs
He'll eat it, it has apples in it

Tags: apple salad common sense cotton candy salad squirrel nest

Season 20 Ep 1: Season 20, Sybaris, Lime Gatorade

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:40:01 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-04.mp3
Show: #476
Length: 29:53
Size: 20.5 mb
Format: mp3

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My brain gears are spinning
I can't even speak
I don't hear voices
Genetic tendency to be a gear head
No I don't think
Kris has a weird cough
I feel burned by the Radio Shopping Show
How can you get burned by them?
They stuck it to me
No
The hotel we got for $100+ a night
Turns out I can get it on Expedia for $63 a night
Oh, baby
Was it an Expedia deal?
You can get them that cheap
You end up with a bed mate
Not even the Sybaris
Do they have them other places?
We'll talk Sybaris later
And I found out that . . .
The bathroom is shared
Shared by who?
Everyone on our floor
Convincing yourself the stay will be fabulous
I am letting Jeanie pick the itinerary
Smart move
Betsy line for locals. . .
Get ready for it Jeanie
"My last name is really Shilts. My uncle was Randy Shilts."
Shut up
You'll be using it to try to get dinner reservations
I could use that the Sybaris
Me working at home is driving you crazy
Well we are in to month 16 of it
No I will not be doing yard work
Well, on Monday we should be square on some stuff
We'll have a bit of news

Tags: Shilts San Francisco Moser Hotel Sybaris Jeanie

happy table

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 10:20:53 -0600

taking a break from work to eat with the kids. this is the happiest table i have ever seen.

it reminds of that rainbow zebra gum from the 80's. anyone remember the name of it?

Tags: Fruit Stripe Gum zebra rainbow gum 80's candy

The best Croncast? Your go to show?

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:12:58 -0600

Brad left this comment yesterday:

The show that you were talking about where Andy goes clothes shopping with Betsy is one of my all time favorites, a classic. It's the episode that I give to people to try and turn them on to Croncast and it still makes me laugh even though I've listened to it several times. It's definitely worth revis[i]ting if anyone out there hasn't heard it - it's episode #210 http://www.croncast.com/show/115/cks-2006-04-03.mp3

This was interesting to me, because I like that story and show, but wouldn't have considered it one of our best.

What episode(s) are your go to shows?

Which are the ones that you share or would share with someone that has never listened to Croncast before?

To find a show number just come to the site and do a search for the topic you remember.

Tags: favorite Mrs. Coach Croncast best show

Season 19 Ep 3: Wheel of Fortune, Mailmen, Mrs. Coach

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:56:44 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-11.mp3
Show: #449
Length: 28:23
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

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Leave us a comment anytime
After reading the comments I am starting to feel sad
Kris, don't feel sad . . . you'll change your mind
Real reasons
We just do it, it's become part of our day
We've become part of that
It's like a radio station
And they are playing Rod Stewart
What? Kris you have lost your mind
Would you rather I say Nazareth "Hair of the Dog"?
What are you talking about?
You should pre-screen your thoughts
Like a celebrity does
Wive's would love these things
Coming back from the long break
Saying things as opposed to telling stories
It was your birthday it made for a weird show
I have to go to the bank
I noticed you didn't buy your own cake
Yes, I needed to step it up and buy one
The bank was a ruse
Turns out the cake was frozen
Much like you
I couldn't really cut it
I told the kids it was an ice cream cake
I forgot to buy candles
Yeah, you made me blow out a lighter
It wasn't just a Bic
This is why being married to you is difficult
You should just say what I think
Kris starts telling Elliot about the lighter
All I can think is shut up, idiot
He doesn't need to know that stuff
I thought about the house burning down
You gotta pull the thing back and click
Mr B. I am so worried about the Wheel of Fortune audition
What am I going to wear?
What am I going to do with my hair?
I think you are projecting a bit
I am going to start combing my eyebrows over my forehead
I hit 33 and my eyebrows are out of control
Big eyebrows are creepy
I didn't say mono-brow
You think the producers are looking for middle America
A mom with pizzaz
I'm not sure I buy that
Maybe you should watch the show
Men wear suits . . . the same on that they wear to funerals and weddings
All the women wear pins
That reminds me of the coach story when you were helping Andy shop
Leave it up to your mom
She'll just buy it off QVC for you
The UPS man, the mail man and the garbage man all have our numbers
QVC delivered twice a day around here
The mail man knows everything that goes on in your life
She's got QVC on the tv and the laptop
The guy from the Queer Eye show is on, she yells
We wake up every Wednesday morning to breaking glass
The garbage man hates us
The QVC bags all end up scattered around the cul de sac
When I was a kid we got the neighbors mail for a week
I knew that he wasn't paying his bills
Water is a luxury
He spent all of his money on Jaguars and software
Baby, you got unfinished projects everywhere
It's typically the man
Feigning the CWI to watch prison shows
It was a very serious sledding injury
I can wear chest pads
Keeping up with the IRS
Just one of those things
Monday you be blinded by my bespangled sweater and snow man pin
I need to seem charming and wholesome
Don't tell them about the podcast
I already did
Well then you need to be yourself
Jeanie said I won't be funny in a pant suit
I disagree you would look very funny in a pant suit

Tags: Nazareth QVC Rod Stuart Wheel of Fortune Mrs. Coach

For Sale: Yellow Tools Candy VSTi and Spectrasonics TRILOGY

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 20:16:39 -0600

I was hunting for a mysterious odor in the manpit today when Betsy sent me into the storage area and I found two great pieces of software that I forgot to reinstall after my computer crashed six months ago. Of course, I didn't locate the odor but that's good it didn't come from storage. I blame the dog.

Since I didn't really miss either program I thought that somebody else might have better use for them making music for the masses.

The first is Yellow Tools Candy is an unbelievably awesome saxophone virtual instrument. It is the only one that I have ever used that sounded like the real thing. The bonus with this software are the baritone saxes, not other sax synth has them.

Now that I am writing this I am starting to regret letting them go. Oh well, maybe I can make enough money to get a real goatee trim!

US $319.99
End Date: Thursday Dec-13-2007 16:41:43 PST
Buy It Now for only: US $329.99
Bid now | Buy it now | Add to watch list

The second is Spectrasonics TRILOGY Total Bass Module Software. The name says pretty much everything but should have 'upright' in the title. This is the best sounding upright virtual instrument out; real samples, velocity, playing styles and a wide array of instruments.

US $234.99
End Date: Thursday Dec-13-2007 16:51:57 PST
Buy It Now for only: US $239.99
Bid now | Buy it now | Add to watch list

Tags: VSTi Yellow Tools Candy Authorization Key Spectrasonics TRILOGY Total Bass Module Software

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 27, 2007

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 09:06:37 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-27.mp3
Show: #402
Length: 26:33
Size: 18.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 27, 2007

This podcast is brought to you by Palegroove Studios
This is a cantankerous show
Betsy goes away for the weekend as another person
She returns crazed
No I had an urge Mr B
It has nothing to do with you
"I hung out at Jeanies"
"Well, I went to the beer garden"
That isn't what you said
Who are you and where did you go this weekend?
That perfect moment
During that awkward pause it was time to stumble down to the tattoo joint
Jeanie said a tattoo on your face is stupid
You mean like the Kat Von D chick?
I like it when you like ladies on TV
It takes the pressure off of me
I don't know what the direction of today's show is
It is in your brain Mr B
No it isn't
You switch out of mommy mode when you go to see Jeanie
You become "that" Betsy
Calling why the kids are screaming
Elliot be nice to your sister
Betsy blows this way out of proportion
Maggie burned her hand on a hot dish
Mommy is drinking guys . . . let me put the buzz kill on speaker phone
The buzz kill? I had $200 in my bank account
I look before taking the kids to the zoo
Negative $150
It was your fault Betsy . . . I was calling to verify you made the payment
I didn't even call you one time to complain
Booba is pulling no punches
The picture you paint for people, baby
It is a good thing you didn't go running around
I really haven't told you the extent of what is going on two floors up
You need to be down here drumming up cash
The handy-men have been here en mass
Sometimes it does feel like I'm living with my mother
Zues pees on the Corvette driving bathroom tile guy . . . You're hired
All I see is Grizzly Adams making love to my dog
Kris's broken arm setting story
Betsy gets it all wrong
People never related to your small town stories, Kris
I know it is hard, but that is the way that most people live
You mean Kris Smith the basketball player
I swore a lot during this show
Keep it down . . . Grandpa's listening
Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes
Betsy says go an see Super Bad

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Tags: Kat Von D facial tattoos Super Bad beer garden Grizzly Adams

My new official Gnomedex head shot

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 09:43:57 -0500

Randy Stewart took this shot of me color coordinating the baby blue of my badge lanyard with my awesome horizontal stripes. I have no clue if it is color coordination or clash but either way here is how my bald head looks in Seattle.

Tags: Randy Stewart color coodination horizontal stripes Gnomedex blue lanyard

King size peanut and chocolate Elvis

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 12:27:51 -0500

Found this pretty funny at a Walgreens in Boulder. Wrapper says, "Collectors Edition" on it to the left of "King Size". Thirty years from now it will be "King" on eBay . . . and tasty.

Tags: Reeses Big Cup Elvis Reeses King Size Reeses peanut butter cups Elvis candy

My official and completely unscientific grass growing experiment Post 2

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 16:25:32 -0500

In my best judgment I have decided not to deluge you with daily updates as I continue my grass growing experiment.

Days 2-4 have been pretty un-eventful. There has been no germination as I suspected and I am following the same process that I did for the other other barren patches.

Day 2 regular watering in am and pm.

Day 3 overnight rain and early afternoon precipitation. I busted out the Scotts Lawn Fertilizer as a catalyst for germination and doused Material #1 and Material #2 equally.

Day 4 (today) I performed the same activity of watering but at 12 pm followed by raking Material #1 into the soil. Once raked throughly I then watered both Material #1 and #2. The next step was to sow more of the same brand seed (Material #1) on top of the first sowing. This was the same action taken with the other barren patches except that I put seed on Material #2. Thus, the reason for this experiment. Today I used the little green implement thing to fling the seeds instead of tossing them by hand. Finally, I gave it another watering.

Photos follow in sequence.

Raked and ready for second sowing.

Looks like a Scotts ad but it is what I have handy. Well, it is what the ladies have bought from the store. Like I would be excited about growing grass and go out and buy this stuff.

Tags: Scotts Turf Builder grass seed Scotts PatchMaster Lawn Repair grass seed growing grass in shade lawn care for lawn haters

There's something in the air, be it a meme?

Fri, 25 May 2007 11:15:02 -0500

Just saw this in the Techmeme feed. Holy shit! I wrote my post a few minutes ago and I'm not even a news guy like Andy Kessler. It needs to happen.

Hearst doesn't need to fire their people, they just need to get it on.

Tags: Techmeme Andy Kessler Hearst Publishing San Francisco Chronicle

If I had $5 million . . .

Fri, 25 May 2007 08:50:09 -0500

Update: It's a meme for sure. A commentary over at the WSJ online by Andy Kessler makes my idea sound less crazy.

I've been thinking about this since last Saturday when I read that the SF Chronicle would be cutting 25 percent of it's editorial staff in their newsroom. And with the conversation taking shape online I decided to stop procrastinating and write this.

On Tuesday of this week I was talking with Scott about podcasting quality and new media production when I went segued into, "If I had $5 million dollars . . ."

Here's what I would do with it:

1. I would pick up half of the Chronicle staffers that are being canned [around 40 people]
2. Spend a couple of weeks working with them to understand RSS, blogging, podcasting (audio/video), production software Mac/PC and anything else DIY media - don't get me wrong most of them probably understand this stuff but I would want them to be self-sufficient, decentralized producers (Mark is already getting this on)
3. Find out what they really like to do in life, what they like to report about and where they like to travel
4. Send them all off to report (blog and podcast) with the gear and skills they need to produce finished works, and a login to a central web based CMS. There is no big fancy office in this plan.
5. Distribute the work via blog, podcast, RSS and closed system for contract work

You might ask, at the core, how this is different from Reuters or other media organizations? It's not really that different. It's simply a model that uses the greatest distribution platform - the internet and maintains agility by avoiding bloat.

The way that it is really different is that a new crop of seasoned print news pros would show up on the scene with the ability to use the knowledge, interview skills and the contacts that they have gained in their tenure to produce work - news reporting, investigative, human interest . . . what have you, from their own perspective. I agree with Dave Winer on this, it is the next step.

So how do you keep it going? With a smaller, nimble, decentralized model like this I think you could get really creative with ways to generate revenue. The real nut comes from selling the content back to traditional media outlets as a buyout for rights or licensing it to them for a fee. Ad revenue should be viewed as beer money.

When I stood inside the building at 1211 Avenue of the Americas, a.k.a News Corp, I was told that the 10x10 room with equipment floor to ceiling and 5 people inside was the only room in the building that turned a profit. The room? Distribution by satellite for affiliates, rival networks and other buyers around the globe. One hundred square feet! Btw, have you seen how big this building is?

So, if I had $5 million I would look to these and other journalistic professionals as partners in building the next generation of media publishing. Sure, they are showing up after most of the heavy lifting has already been done and many of them spent an inordinate amount of time picking us apart, but we should welcome them to the party. We have just as much to learn from them as they do us.

I can't forget this . . . that is $5 million business money. Do you think that Betsy would let me near it if it was really mine? I mean hers.

Tags: SF Chronicle firings Hiring Chronicle employees new media rival networks decentralized media

Betsy and her husband Kris May 23, 2007

Wed, 23 May 2007 07:57:18 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-23.mp3
Show: #366
Length: 34:37
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 23, 2007

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Kris tries to take it back to 2004 and fails
The old school intro
Things have changed for the better since we've been doing the show
Someone actually sent an email with that in it today . . . being able to hear the difference
You've never had respect for me Betsy
It will only grow when I see the gravel pit that you crawled out of
You're worried about what Elliot will say about the dead cars in the yard
Someone lives in that house?
Yes, that's where I grew up
The house is the size of our finished basement
Kris, it was the size of a double wide
My little house used to be a warehouse
The great La Moille fire and our house survived
As the story goes . . . it was started by a train derailment in the late 1800's
The trailer office next to the tallest building in town, the grade school
You could see Chicago 120 miles away on a clear day
Kris you were looking at West Aurora
Civil war reenactment town historian nut
Did he do the glove thing?
Was it a scarred nub beneath?
No, I don't think he was the engineer of the train
I grew up around some scary characters
Good thing they had him work at the school so people could keep an eye on him
It was like a pig roast with my extended family . . . Keystone Light and firearms
You were packing heat on family outings, Kris?
No the extended family
So it was like Civil War done better with upgraded military hardware
Betsy tells another great vet story
I am beginning to think that vet offices are great place for material
Is it possible for a my cat to fall in love with my dog?
The cattle call vet . . . it isn't a prestigious appointment
The cat is binge eating because it is depressed
"Why are his lips so ugly?" mother-in-law asks about the cat
Turns out that little deaf dog has a blazing ear infection
"How to do you tell if your dog is deaf?"
The arthritis medicine, cholesterol medicine and diabetes diet weren't working that day
Deaf dog now has some pep in her step
Betsy . . . I didn't know raisins weren't candy until I was 7
So what happened to you, Betsy?
God, this girl had Lik A Maid . . . cool aid on sugar stick
I said to myself when I am an adult I am going to buy a candy bar every day
Red Bull + Lik A Maid = Garage sale power drink

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Tags: Lik A Maid Keystone Light cat dog lovin Garage sale power drink tallest building in town