David | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 20 Ep 19: San Francisco Part 2, The Meetup

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:25:08 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-04.mp3
Show: #494
Length: 41:59
Size: 28.8 mb
Format: mp3

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We're back for part two of San Francisco
The pre pre-school baby is in a kissing phase
She kissed a diseased baby
Then she kissed me and now I am infected
Other than daddy just do
I can blame it on her cuz I got the documentation
Her encrusted nostril in photos
I could track back the vector of my illness
Yes, you are the carriers
Listen to Croncast, "They argue with one another in their basement"
We rank with NPR shows in the post
How are we different than any other shows?
Funnier
Let the woman talk
No love for this man
I didn't get a party when I was there
Heading to the meetup at House of Shields
What if no one shows up?
People were bound to show up
Four people showed up
I am so glad that I disappointed you in a positive way
David, Sam, Russ and Katherine

The Meetup: Left to Right: Russ, Sam, Katherine (in back), David, Betsy (in blue), Jeanie

David has been listening for a long time
A very long time
He was in college, birthday, marriage to attorney
Look back at things that have happened while we have been doing the show
Schlomo gave us the space
It was dark, with a kicked over chair
That is HoS
Russ got a pre-smoking ban chair with an ashtray built into it
This is where we made the mistake
We started drinking right away, heavily
Jeanie kept up with me drink for drink
Mind you she is one third my size
We left the meetup to go dancing
More drinks
Then Jeanie starts dancing with a bearded Marylin Monroe
Having a great time and we stiffed them on the cab
Just drunk bitches we were
We gotta get to sleep
We have things to do the next day
We surface at 10 am
Jeanie didn't get out of bed till 3
I see a pattern with your Jeanie vacations
Remember Chef Jeff?
Back in my skinny days
Now I'm chubby
There's a food shortage I'm good for 8 weeks
At 8pm Mrs. and Mrs Smith are going to hop on a romantic cruise
They should have named it, "The Good Ship Jagermeister"
A little romantic music for you
If I tried to do that with my friends Evan or Mike
So the next day we rent a car
And we end up dumped in a pile of homeless people
They're like day of the dead zombies
Here comes the scariest wican beast i have ever seen in my life
This weather beaten hag pops up in the window
Shit happens, some people aren't what you expect
Are we on the road to Guerneville?
You can't do that with a kind vegan sister
A big coin receptacle
"I'm saving up to clone my cat, donations welcome"

Tags: San Francisco Guerneville Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen meetup

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 07, 2007

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 09:48:30 -0600

Croncast - 2007-12-07.mp3
Show: #443
Length: 34:47
Size: 23.9mb
Format: mp3

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It's Tell a Friend Friday!
Get out there and tell somebody about the show
Leave those comments on the posts
I'm going to commission something for you for Christmas, Kris
A bronze statue?
No, a paint by numbers
There has to be a service online like that
My paint by number would be one number
Yeah, with a bucket of porcelain white paint
Your improv classes are coming to an end
Sure I got one more to go
All anxious about this job stuff
You are like a woman this way, Kris
Your puffy cuffedness blasting
My beard was all jacked up
I needed a trim
The website can't see the fact you shouldn't
No shaving it off
I do enough repulsive crap in my day
I set you up with a barber for a beard trim
It wasn't a regular barber, it was mans man barber
So anyway I went to improv
It was great, I gave up the scene
He said, you intimidate me
The stay at home intimidator
I thought should I go with Kris to the man spa
Is Kris going to end up getting a happy ending massage?
Funny you should say that, I did get a free massage
I roll in right on time
They ask me my name
He had the pencil line goatee
That weird etched on looking beard thing
Kind of like a Backstreet boys
Head back to the lounge
What do you mean?
The cigar lounge in the back
Leather couches, flat screen TV
This woman walks in
She a masseuse
Would you like a free massage?
Sure
I don't any cash, I know this isn't free
Yeah, you gotta tip
Don't you have to get out to your job at The Buckle?
Yes, I also have a degree from there
You gotta be on the inside to tell a certain type of joke
I am on this inside
She was kneeding you dough and commenting that you were buff?
That is why I was laughing so so hard
I'm slumped in front of a computer all day
My muscles are dough
It was the sales pitch
I didn't take my shirt off
This was an 'over the clotheser'
Is that on the board?
I'll take an, a . . . over the clotheser
I meet the barber
When I say that I don't have time for a shave
The barber tells me that he can't just trim my beard
Without the shave he won't do it
I felt like I was in a Larry David episode
I had to argue with this man for 10 minutes to get in the chair
"It's all about chair time"
I'm in a really big hurry
I will pay you for the chair time
No, no you won't
I tell him that I am leaving
He says, come on back, I'll do it
"But you don't understand that I don't just do dis. I do dis."
I told him that knew he was an artist but I just need a trim
It all went down horribly
I can't even show people how bad my goatee looks
Oh, it sucks
Yeah, you look really bad Mr B
It's like my bad perm but on your face
Betsy thanks Markx again for the stuff
Especially, Thrift Score Zines
Marie Down South, the thrifty stripper
Tell your friends about the show . . . it's Friday!!!

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Tags: Thrift Score beard trim masseuse Backstreet Boys Marie Down South

Naperville nerd posse member gets more ink

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 10:08:59 -0500

Fellow Naperville nerd and flafoo.com halfsie, Mike Marusin, will be getting some ink very soon. The online version of an article that he appears, "Is it time to move to the suburbs?," by David Hochman, is up already but it'll be hitting the stores and mailboxes soon on the pages of Details magazine.

Nerds are real men too.

I had no idea House of Pain drove Mike and Liz to the suburbs but I can see how that is likely with the confluence of rap addicted white kids from the suburbs that migrate to the city . . . to be cool.

Maybe this is the new circle of life? I can't wait for the National Geographic video on this.

Tags: Mike Marusin David Hochman Details magazine Naperville flafoo

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 24, 2007

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 14:21:18 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-24.mp3
Show: #401
Length: 32:40
Size: 22.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 24, 2007

Here it is.

Man, this day has been nuts . . . going to make an effort to make it less nuts! First step will be to remove more crap from computer and second will be to get out of the basement today and breathe some fresh air.

Show have fallen victim to fresh air for today. Blame mother nature ;-).

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Tags: bitty babies garage sales american girl dolls David Hochman rabbit stew

How to save your unconference

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 12:53:08 -0500

As far an unconferences go WordCamp 2007 hasn't been that different from many of the others that I have attended; hit and miss, but mostly miss. David Spark sums up the experience pretty well.

Here's my two cents as an attendee at many events like this:

1) Unprepared speakers
2) Awesome hallway conversations

The only way to have an unconference that gets people excited about coming back again, i.e. PodCamp New York, or speaking about the event is to manage number 1 above. Bring that hallway enthusiasm to the stage.

Unconference organizers should be in contact with their speakers dialogging about how to make their event useful to attendees, memorable, something that makes an impact in their daily lives. Nobody wants to sit and listen to what are essentially product diatribes or be spoken to like they are children.

How to save your unconference:

1) Plan, plan and plan some more. Plan everything and have a plan for it your plan doesn't work (because it is an unconference doesn't mean that attendee expectations are lower when they walk through the door than they would be for the $1000 conference that you bemoan)

2) Tell your speakers to get prepared (this is a golden opportunity to share experiences that can help people not make the same mistakes)

3) Create attendee tracks (create unconference value by allowing a channel for filtered conversations a.k.a. hallway conversations)

This post might not come off like it, but I am a big fan of unconferences. However, I am beginning to think that the best conferences might be a mix of the traditional and the new step-child. Maybe that is what I'll experience at Gnomedex next month. We'll see.

Tags: WordCamp 2007 unconference halwaay conversations Swedish American Hall

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 18, 2007

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 06:52:09 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-18.mp3
Show: #351
Length: 30:21
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 18, 2007

Join up with the Croncast Cronies . . . thanks Kelly C.
We're here for your tax hangover
Welcome to Wednesday
They should start the new year with taxes
We said in January we we're going to run lean this year
Look at it as an opportunity
Hanging with the short bus dudes
Mr. B you should get a job as a bus driver
The driving tests
There is no way that they could insure me to drive a bus
Sorry I just need to get my edge
Way back when I was lactating
Who the hell reads the fine print?
Your tombstone Kris . . . . all in fine print
The lesson of my life
I am tired of and can't handle another fucking life lesson
Their is only place we haven't been stuck is investing
Unless it is my good looks
Gotta go to NY with puff in your cuff
Same camel hair jacket, less some hair
You can wear undees and have no close
David Sedaris being called out on embellishing
WTF world
What is this weekend Betsy?
First full sub-division sales
People higher up on the food chain
I love to eat the chum from the surface after the big ones have snacked
I signed the documents and didn't look up as she was asking
She was asking Betsy to sell some stuff on eBay
They beg and keep throwing the rope out
"You can take a commission" which means . . . we're cool right?
Liz . . . you are heretofore known as Mike Marusin's wife
Carla brings over a 15 year old Coach bag
Betsy needs her own show . . . "The Appraiser"
It's all $32.99
The stolen eBay accounts that keep buying her bags
The Nigerian shipping address flagged us
As your husband . . . it is embarrassing that people walk up to you and ask you to sell their junk
We're Sanford and Husband, you need to get over yourself
I need a junk shop it would be my dream
Junk spelled 'que' I can't take it
Junk shop to p's and an 'e', Junque Shoppe
I have it baby, your shoppe just needs to be an empty parking lot with the junk piled high
We can start it here in the cul de sac
CBI - chief bitch in charge
Betsy is now writing the greatest garage sale ad ever
She has to make it seem like the ultimate subdivision
It would be like a crappy play
Just take the junque think on tour
Vets treat animals not people
Take the dog to the vet and get it's medical history
Going to the hospital five hours later
Rabies isn't reality . . . but the rabid bats in your walls did it
Dead bat in the back of the toilet when I lifted up the lid
Pure evil
You probably killed the bat and don't remember doing it
Cuddling it too hard and put it in the toilet in a moment of stoned panic
Bow down bitches, I told you so doesn't fit
Baby it is always the same
You're cutting me off again Betsy
You would not succeed as a junk seller Mr. B
McDonald's still makes me happy
I can look at a T and T Barbie, a Twist and Turn from the 60's
Betsy has it locked down on eBay
You are addicted to selling junk
The same way that blue hairs addicted to scratch offs
You got the eBay juice
What happened to the purse business?
Kris busts into the NYC cab story
His wibbling moustache
Maybe that was the best part of the story
When you visit NYC have purpose, walk, talk act like you got something going on
The city is out to get you but can make it better
More people than I have ever seen in my live
It's like walking into the largest ant colony you have ever seen
In NYC people were nice
Right, now that they have your credit card number

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Tags: bus driver David Sedaris read the fine print junque shoppe dead bat in toilet

Routing synapses: Portable Media Expo thoughts

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 10:46:55 -0500

It has taken me nearly a week to find some time to sit down and write about this year's Portable Media Expo. My brain takes so long to process situations that when you stack about 200 new situations right on top of one another my synapses begin to flutter a bit like a dancer dropping it likes it's hot. If you missed that analogy just turn on MTV and watch any rap video to see things dropping and gyrating.

So as this stuff has shaken out in my thought process I keep seeing the faces of those I shared some words and grub with . . . Nicole Simon, Garrick Van Buren, Greg Cangialosi, Mark Chernesky, Rick Klau, Eric Olson, Paul Figgiani (Paul got a hug), Tim Bourquin, Scott Fletcher, David Lawrence, Frank Barnako, Holland Cooke, Giovanni Gullacci, John and Erin Paxton and Craig Patchett (he told us not to drive Slowsky).

On the social side there was Evo and Sheila, Dave Slusher for 3 mintues on the way to his seesion (I think the best session of the Expo) . . . damn, that is the end. I should have hung out more!

New train of thought, thinking of my sessions I wanted to thank everyone who attended especially the 40 or so people who showed up for the one on Saturday at the Portable Media Expo. There I met some great people with podcast consulting and production motivations like myself. It was fun to share how you too can loose a client like MTV Networks and how you can gain a client like Alltel and produce for NFL players.

The take aways from the Expo are varied for me. It was a great time to meet and hangout with other podcasters and listeners (Tom Davies you rock). The meet-upability of the Expo is hands down the biggest reason for attending if you have been podcasting for some time. If you are new to the community then I would guess that the Expo was probably extremely overwhelming as the sessions popped off and the social component took hold.

I can't say that I was really disappointed by things but did have some low moments:

1) Pink spandex at the Marriott and the wood inside
2) Being told repeatedly that no one in podcasting is making any money (Ahem, because you're not doesn't mean that others aren't)
3) Rehashing the same discussions that have been going on since the beginning

Now that I have my memories in some semblance of real activity and spared you the personal details of many of those interactions I want to say thank you to Tim, Emile and the PME staff for producing this event and allowing podcasters to be themselves . . . pink spandex shorts and all.

Tags: Portable media Expo PME pink spandex Alltel

Ego searches on Flickr to continue

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 14:38:40 -0500

I am sure that I am not the only Portable media Expo attendee who has put more energy into ego searches on Flickr for their mug than bathing or shaving. Well, maybe it's just me then but I've found my chicken skinned head a few times. Thankfully no place in vicinity of those painted gals.

"Gal" makes me sound older than I am but man, if you too had seen these women you use the term "gal" also.

Anyway I found this one earlier today with the headline, "Dinner with Visionaries - 2006". Thanks Scott! But my only vision was the one of David cutting his ear while shaving his head. Since I'm in the bald posse it carries extra relevance and terror.

More on this dinner to come.

I ran out of tags for the other folks at the dinner . . . Eric Olson, Giovanni (from Texas) and the two nice people from GoDaddy who's names I can't remember (update: see comment below).

Tags: Podcheck Rick Klau Garrick Van Buren Greg Cangialosi David Lawrence Scott Fletcher

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 18, 2006

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 06:03:11 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-18.mp3

Show: #264
Length: 24:58
Size: 17.1 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 18, 2006

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

It' show notes lite again, sorry. I have a crazy work schedule this week. Hopefully, I can elaborate more soon.
Betsy calls me a dog hater
I don''t have time for anybody who wants to pee on me
Zeus isn't asking me to write a check
People who dodge punches are not Kris I get right in the way of them
People who make me nervouse
Used car guy who doesn't have the title
The last person you want to see is someone that you sold a used car to at your door
He's got nothing to lose
Oil light in Slowsky
Fantasy cars and satisfaction
The Puggle story redeaux
When you stuck with water purifiers
Kris started shaving in the 7th grade for his goatee cultivation
AC DC soundtracks
Betsy's Dad and Judy just got back from Rome
Betsy wants to have her dad on for the 300th show
Show topic . . . oh boy
300 by the 300th
John Elway begins his customer service skills early (Thanks David C.)

Update: Ben points out to me that this image has obviously been doctored. Still funny though!

Tags: Slowsky dog 300 by 300th AC DC Rome Puggle

Betsy and her husband Kris May 10, 2006

Wed, 10 May 2006 08:57:35 -0500

Croncast - 2006-05-10.mp3

Show: #226
Length: 31:43
Size: 21.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 10, 2006

This was a wierd show for us and things sort of go astray towards the end. This message is just a warning that it was one of those days.

Lay it on me sister
Betsy is onry today
It was there winking at me
The special cabinet at Goowill is for the "nice stuff"
Louis Vuitton most faked item on the planet
Backpacks are expensive
It has a serial number
Louis Vuitton don't come with a plastic wrap handle
I find eel skin wallets all the time
Ring around the wallet
It's like a cold war missile silo
It's coming this Friday
Gigi is having a rough day
It's giving Kris a geek tic
I picked it up and new it was fake
It is made of nubuck
I sold shoes in the hood I know nubuck
It turns out the Louis is a fake
What the is a speedy bag?
Maggie is upset that the Bionicle away
Betsy feels all couped up
After dark shopping at the resale shop
I have a big giant bird on my neck and nobody says shit
If it were a tattoo it would be dark
My homage to you Mr. B. . . . damn!
Soon to be a sterile Mr. B.
Sure they are gonna give me a local but no needles please
The siders hopped up on Mountain Dew and 8-balls
The handy man calls back
You're not welcome here
Betsy really should have married a handy man
Getting chipped
David Blaine, not magic . . . Britney Spears pregnant again, that's magic
What if you schedule was "laundry"?
The vacation trip here we come
Fill the Scion with batteries for the laptop and iPod
The dinner offers - between Chicago and Denver send us a message.
We're up for almost anything

Tags: Louis Vuitton nubuck Croncast vacation Denver vasectomy

It may not be magic, but it's kinda cool

Mon, 08 May 2006 11:18:32 -0500

I came across a good photoalbum for the David Blaine Drowned Alive schtick that is ending today or tonight.

I am not quite sure if it is magic if you have a catheder in place to purge the toxins . . . I think magic would be somehow turning those toxins into a turkey dinner while chilling in the tank or making a blueberry Icee.

Tags: David Blaine drowned alive NYC Icee

Special Croncast with our friends Viva Podcast

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 09:43:24 -0500

The show is up a day late but absolutely worth it. I wanted to try something new and when Greg and I were talking a couple of weeks ago we thought this would be something that would interesting to try for both shows. And since the names together sound like something made from space-age material we thought it could be spectacular like David Copperfield.

This show is hopefully going to be something that we continue and mold into something that fits the show and our conversations.

Tags: viva podcast croncast friends David Copperfield

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 43

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 11:59:58 -0600

Croncast - 2005-02-28.mp3

Show: #83
Length: 16:00
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 7.33 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 43

Press
Becaon News (a local paper) online version
The PDF with photos is right-cheer.

The start of the new M-W-F schedule of shows while we prepare for the baby to come in the next few weeks and continue to record extra shows for use once the new one arrives.

Today Betsy welcomes the end of the month, Kris and Betsy's love of the Peach Blueberry muffin, the "wave" gum, tractor brand affiliation and Gung-Ho references.

Local paper runs Sunday article about Betsy and I, the online version no photo and the scanned PDF is right-cheer. Betsy and I want to thank the writer David Garbe and the photographer for taking the time to hang out with us. The best part of the article is that Betsy gets the "podcaster" label.

Most people we told missed the article because it was in the business section, even though it was on the front page. Guess our friends didn't know that section existed.

Betsy gets a special call from her "eccentric" father after his return from the Antarctic upon his reading of the article and uses her Vicky voice in this show.

That's the wrap up. Give us some votes at Podcast Alley today when you have a chnace.

Tags: betsy croncast kris paper local

Croncast - Nicole and her friend Kris Ep. 1

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 11:39:58 -0600

Croncast - 2005-01-13.mp3

Show: #52
Length: 53:43
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 24.6 mb

Croncast - Nicole and her friend Kris Ep. 1

Today's guest is Nicole Simon from http://useful-sounds.de. It is one of two birthday shows for Nicole!! Send her birthday greetings and wishes.

Nicole and Kris discuss what it is like for her to be speaking so much English, birthday stuff, Kris' horrible German, of course what the hell does fluff-dat mean?, David Hasslehoff big in Germany, Standerd vs. Metric, is it a band-aid?, please wash water with soap and what it is liek to listen to your own voice.

Today's Show

Show notes soon.

Tags: nicole kris birthday croncast ep