Garage | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

better days

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:43:47 -0500

this project has found its way to my father's clutches. many memories of cars coming in and out of this garage.

Tags: memories cars coming garage clutches

around the corner

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:26:19 -0500

this building is around the corner from the second garage that my folks have.

it looks the same as it has my entire youth when i would ride my bike, mini-bike, walk or run uptown to get a soda.

Tags: bike corner walk mini run

Season 20 Ep 20: Photos, Old Shuffling Posse, Professional Tic

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:25:15 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-06.mp3
Show: #495
Length: 30:25
Size: 20.9 mb
Format: mp3

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Oh, the 2008
Comments on the photos
I'm a what?
You're a good amateur photo taker, Bears
I never made it to the sweetest Goodwill in the world
When was that?
San Francisco, it just wasn't meant to be
Look at you all up on the Oprah stuff
I got my eye on those celebrities
I knew today was going to be a great day
Because the Lutherans were having a sale
Garage Sales are euphemisms for "Party on the Driveway"
You were benevolent enough to babysit
It is either a ghost or an alien in front of me
You should be so lucky
Space Ghost!
You can convince me of anything
I got to the sale kind of late
The guy from the furniture tent comes out an yells
That we can hop into a new line that is shorter
I was torn
They can have stuff in multiple questions
I think you will reach a point, your peak of sales skills
We should freeze dry you at that point
Then revive you in the future when the dollar is strong
It will be like a time machine
Betsy, you bring it
The dollar is still strong with the Lutherans
Double check the luggage later
I stand in line to wait for the dishes
I need my fine china fix in their housewares sections
I brought bags and I have adrenaline flowing in my limbs
Oh, look, Christopher Stewart
This is when I started to look like a nut
Started?
Slow shuffling old posse arrived
Those match my dishes
I love those
Are you going to buy those?
I am now just to spite you
You wasted my time with your story
They're rookies baby
You are con-garagies
They send the 12 year old anemic boy to help me carry stuff
She's now a professional tic
She went and bought speakers from Farm and Fleet
I love it, speakers from Farm and Fleet
I am sure you are related to people that duck taped their heads That is the truth
Duck taping down his pants
Especially when fired up the chainsaw
The tape suit
Class issues really stand in your way Mr. B
"Transvestite's getaway car ran over good Samaritan's foot"
Words make the world magnificent

Tags: Space Ghost Farm and Fleet speakers Lutheran sale Naperville

took @resalequeen up on her offer

Thu, 01 May 2008 18:21:31 -0500

it's been over a year since i've gone to a garage sale with betsy. sometimes it helps to placate my queen with my bearly presence.

Tags: placate helps queen bearly presence

Season 20 Ep 8: Husband in the Bubble, Carbon Dioxide Vampires, Nock

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:14:07 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-21.mp3
Show: #483
Length: 38:15
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

One day to Earth Day
Elliot has been telling me about the poor suffering pandas for ten days
He was telling me the acid rain was burning the pandas
Which was causing them not to have babies
He asked me if I knew what trees were
He's so much like his mom
He says, "Trees are carbon dioxide vampires"
I told him that would be a great band name
He didn't get it
Two worlds collided
You bought this badminton set at Goodwill
At a garage sale
Well, it came from out of the house
Husband in a bubble
Whatever you had taught him was wrong
Proper badminton form
Let me show you
What? What you learned at La Moille badminton school?
I can't believe you tried to describe this
What the hell are you talking about?
Your boy cannot do overheard
Oh, baby
I won't even listen to you and your un-athletic skills
It's good he's not you, Kris
He just doesn't get it as I am trying to help him
You're a like a lion in the grass
Look at that birdie fly
He can't hit it back and forth
I wanted to work with him
And you wonder why he doesn't want to play with you
You are a weird nerd jock hybrid
You're a NOCK
He'll have flash backs
Badminton is where business gets done
Watching his badminton future crumbles before my eyes
Don't send the hate mail
I get it
I need to engage with him on another level
He's going through a growth spurt
He's 7 asking if the weather is changing
Sensitive to barometric pressure
Taking the kids to lunch
Ted's Montana Grill
Ted's Buffalo Hut
There is nothing more environmentally friendly than buffalo farming
What are you saying? Twice as much methane
Maggie is all about it
Elliot looks at Ted's Bison Hut
Looks left and says, I just want Subway
"I won't get a bag of chips with my burger"
Wanted to do something a bit special
He says, "Dad, I don't like fancy. I like Goodwill and Subway."
Half the time he is working on bits
What's 10 minus 8?
I think you owe me $2, Mom
I get to the foreclosure/divorce house
Ring the door bell
The laundry basket was longaberger
It was like you designed the house
There was a beautiful chandelier in his bathroom
He wanted $1,800 for it
Then he says, "I paid $23,000 for it."
They make excellent copies of this at Menards
Then, Mr B, there it was
I became the sucker
Do you like the table?
It happens
How much do you want for the table?
Well . . .
I paid $12,000 for it
This is a garage sale
The table turned to fire when he told $2,300
Can you grab me something out of that crystal wine in the box holder
It was so McMansion
It was like he was trying to get on Cribs and it didn't work out
Same outfit as yesterday
Because he is single now

Tags: Longaberger suffering pandas acid rain Ted's Montana Grill McMansion

Season 20 Ep 4: 11 Days, Drew Peterson, Elevator Pitch

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:34:53 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-11.mp3
Show: #479
Length: 26:37
Size: 18.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2007 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

I is swamped my people. Show notes take another on the chin. If anyone has the time to put some show notes together for this episode feel free to and send them on I'll put them in here and give you a huge shout out, like, where I say your name loudly.

Shout out goes to BigJon - super player and show note maker

Show Notes:
Croncast intro
11 more days to Earth Day
Dry crocodile skin
Welding company hand model
Cooking show video
No wrist bones
Fitness routine
Armchair critic
Addiction to nitrates
Living ex-pat life
Aversion to guns
Comments on moving
House hunting in SF
Good schools and Thrifty Republicans
Drew Peterson on Larry King
Looking in the woods near us
Stacey Peterson signs
Police officer son
We got 911!
Baloney sandwiches with mayo
Year of guys in our area to murder their wives
Divorce reasons
Big insurance policy
Follow the news trucks
Scumbag
Watersealing basements
A-Town van, one eye, mullet, and prison tats
Would have given him a shot
Don\'t marry that guy
Heavily medicated shoe salesman
Temper tantrums
Who liked him?
Panic attack
Other perspectives
Missing a leg...last shot
I won
Wow, he looked me in the eye!
Garage saling
Un-employed babysitter
30 garage sales
Love garage sales by default
Kris must love you
Horrible at math
No more baby shit
Garage sale notes
Legalized gambling
Know your people
Capri Sun + Toddlers
Melting down silverware
The gay doctor
Crap in the dining room
Barb and daughter china junker service
Croncast outro
Coming to an end...

Tags: iPod Bolingbrook best laugh elevator pitch share croncast

It's here! The Resale Queen Podcast

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 16:08:47 -0600

We managed to crank out Betsy's first Resale Queen podcast this morning!

It took me about 7 hours to get everything in place - feeds, graphics (more to come) and general audio editing. The first shows are usually the hardest.

The show's focus is on resale issues and happenings in the resale community. I had no idea that there were 'happenings' or a 'community'.

I'll be co-hosting the show with Betsy every Saturday with some special guests mixed in on occasion.

The show will be released by 9 a.m. CST every Saturday morning for your junkin' days.

Tags: Resale Queen Betsy Smith Kris Smith Goodwill eBay garage sale

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 02, 2007

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 08:21:44 -0500

Croncast - 2007-11-02.mp3
Show: #428
Length: 30:52
Size: 22.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 02, 2007

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It's Tell a Friend Friday
Tell your people, people
Switched up the intro
Added Podcast.com as a place you might get your podcasts
Check them out
Happy early birthday to Mark
He needs a cold turkey quit smoking partner
You up for it Betsy?
Does he have someone in Atlanta?
My birthday is then seven days after
Right after our three year mark
We'll be doing this until the wheels fall off
I get worried about our archive
Yeah, can't you just burn it to disc
Final paycheck from the day job came in today
Today was the contract execution date
So many things had to fall into place
We talk money and situation for a bit
For those of you who don't like this stuff skip ahead to 14:08
Many people have been in our shoes
You better get a job Mr B
It's already not been nice
We said we weren't going to talk about this stuff anymore
However, it's all be got going on right now
It is what takes up our waking hours
That's your problem Mr B
It's stressful
Yeah, we could end up moving . . . highly likely
Very little is going on here in Chicago
Not a leading edge city
The coasts are full of rocking gigs
Looking for jobs that are in wrong category
I found 10 different ones put away like this
Next is to contact the recruiters on these sites
Newly revised resume in PDF format (Yes, I know address is missing in this version)
Check it out
Though it's the same as my Linkedin Profile
I've had lots of people on this resume
Everyone is telling me that this will take longer than
Every time we talk about money it makes people crazy
Don't bother sending the hate mail
What do you want for your birthday?
Don't even say
Health insurance?
I have health insurance for us through January
Could this be worse?
Yes
I have contracts, things I can't share
It's up to listeners to fill in blanks
Dating the show
Part of being smart is that you should hate TV
I love TV Mr B
When you say kerchief it sounds like crew chief when you say it
Your references are all 80's TV
I am breaking into a new garage sale area
Hinsdale, a swanky Chicago suburb
Betsy puts the stereotype lifestyle
Kris finally tells the breast feeding plate story
The mosquito fogger driving down the street and chasing it
Breast feeding was the best time of my life
If you have healthy children
I will buy you your own plates, Betsy
With correct hair, eye and nipple color
You're gonna get me a titty plate?
You just don't bust those out that awesome
Oh, man your mom, Kris
You have no more awesome stories
I watched Three's Company
You watched Titty Plates

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Tags: Franklin Mint Breast feeding plates Kris Smith Resume Podcast.com mosquito fogger

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 19, 2007

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 09:03:17 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-19.mp3
Show: #422
Length: 30:17
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 19, 2007

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Tell a Friend Friday!
Pause the show people and do it right now
Sorry we been away . . . we'll give you some news on Monday
Lots of heavy commenting yesterday
Get your sms thumb ready
What if I don't have sms thumb?
Yes, we will share on Monday
In the meantime I have a rockin' story Mr. B
Ok, well get on with it
I'm tired of this house looking like a warehouse
Can't buy it, Kris will bitch at me
I have to find something small that I can sell
Go to Goodwill, nothing
Go to garage sales, nothing
Have the Russians taken over at Goodwill?
It's on, their pricing is out of control
Regional trends in purse buying
Runs through my mind 6 times a day
I left Goodwill grumpy
I roll out to the garage sales thinking about my plushies
We pass by an overflowing dumpster
I am a dumpster snob so a video game joint doesn't entice me
I have standards
New t-shirt . . . Dumpster Snob
I lifted out a big box . . . full of Xbox and PS2 games
Baby, you stole someone's stash
Vicky says, there's movies too
And turns on the car dome light
Turn off the light dude!
Used, abused games
So I want to explain to you why I smell like another man's perfume
Tonight I had an epiphany
Did you go back to Bar Louie?
The garbages are there before us
Vickie, "It's not against the law"
Betsy, "Shut up and watch for cops"
All these stores throw out product
Vickie, "I know where I want to go"
Betsy, "Where?"
Vickie, "Bath and Body Works"
Baby, you guys are losing it
I think it is dumb to spend more than $1.50 on mascara
Vickie is watching me behind the Alta dumpster
What do they sell . . . perfume
It's dark, so I say to myself, follow the smell
I am lifting stuff out of the garbage and smelling it
Just because it is in the garbage doesn't mean that I want it
You never park next to the dumpster
It needs to be so you can screech away
On the next Croncast, Betsy's get away tips
In the next pull, my brother-in-law's Christmas gift
The cologne
A zip lock full of cologne and he would be like way to go
Vickie, "What the hell is this?"
Betsy, "It's Nautica"

-----------------------------------------------------
This is the funniest story Betsy has ever told!!!!!
I am crying while doing these show notes
-----------------------------------------------------

You have gone beyond Sanford and Son
Much praise to you baby for holding it down so we don't have to walk over your merchandise
This stuff could cost you your freedom if you keep it up
You probably shouldn't be doing this
Don't tell your law enforcement friends about the show today
What's wrong is the fact you picked up a bag of cologne?
What part of your game that said. "This is a good idea"
I gotta bring her back something
The used hair dye was not a winner
It was the best smelling of all the bags
So speaking of crazy stories
I walk out of the airport and lady with lots of red hair is in front of me
She's asking a guy
I realize that it's Kathy Griffin
Segue from you dumpster diving, I met Kathy Griffin
I got nothing compared to you, Bears
She is taller in real life
That can't be said much for the Hollywood set
Betsy, "I would have said, You are a bigger fag hag than me. I fucking love you. Can you please autograph my tit."
Yeah, I wouldn't have said that
She's thinking, who is this fat dude in the camel hair blazer?
It's 85 and he's got a coffee at 7 pm and eating a sandwich
Thanks to Ben for the comment . . . much appreciated!!!
A little math on the Croncast free shows
422 shows
Minimum cost to produce $600 (lowest rate I would charge client for a show like ours)
Total: $253,200
You go and find another chick who will go ass up in a dumpster for entertainment

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Tags: Kathy Griffin dumpster diving cologned in a bag Croncast Dumpster Snob

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 08, 2007

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 08:10:38 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-08.mp3
Show: #419
Length: 36:44
Size: 25.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 08, 2007

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Thanks to Dan for the generous support late last week . . .
This show is for you
I have found my next career
Home Bottling factory for breast milk
That is creepy
I should totally do this is
You can pump and dump
My house is near hear
Your 15 minute break is no problem
My sister won't stop calling
She called me in church today
They have a conversion van club
I don't have a conversion van anymore Vicky
Do you have a hand pump anymore?
You got 30 minutes at work you can do a double pump and dump
If you have to pump in a prison bathroom would you even touch the electrical outlet
Their mirrors aren't even made of glass
Shiny metal like a McMansion refrigerator
When I take out the pump is make this noise
And I start leaking right away
The reason for the pee pee
I got moobs I don't feel her pain
The noise queues her and immediate let down
Walk into a shopping mall with a boom box playing that sound
Watch the mommies
Helps me milk the goat
Flafoo now exists
Tell your story Mr. B
Flafoo.com
Say it three times fast
Flafoo flafoo flafoo
The whole idea is to make finding shit on eBay easy and quick
Making looking up stuff on eBay fun again
Kris's idea of funny with links
Following that path of keywords
I could say turkey fryer - http://flafoo.com/turkey fryer
And it works on your iPhone quickly
If you are buying anything from eBay start your shopping at flafoo.com
I need a job to support my garage saling habit
Goodwill is eBay 1942
Waiting for stuff to come through the doors
The Christians go buy pancakes and then come to Goodwill for skirts
I was about to pounce on a comforter set
I heard her reading the title letter for letter
I knew what she was doing
She was having someone look up her shit on eBay
So I start to chat it up with her
Screw the voice mails . . . send her a text
My Blackberry doesn't send text messages
Right
I didn't nerd out on her
She's the woman who got he Blackberry and said, "O it's for recipes"
Did you take her under your wing?
I tried Mr B
My niche is the toys . . . you can't take that part of Goodwill
The breast feeding plates
Have we ever talked about plates
Friendship was kind of born
Well, that is good
All the regulars are kind of gone
How is that creepy?
Have you noticed that they are not here?
Who?
I should have known then
Putting my car in the garage
Yes I had to move your junk
No more big stuff Mr. B I promise
Well, you threw a passive aggressive smack down
Garage is for cars, Betsy
It's for toys, rakes and storage
I think it is a puffy cuff thing
How is that a puffy cuff thing?
My car has 75 miles in the last three months
You drove them Betsy
Wheelchair stroller
My mom's prize Wheaties box with Michael Jordan on it
You got to keep this one straight baby
Getting stuff together for one of you mom's students
I feel like I been hit in the forehead with Night Train
Dewey, Wednesday's show is for you

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Tags: flafoo Wheaties box Blackberry Dan Goodwill

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 24, 2007

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 14:21:18 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-24.mp3
Show: #401
Length: 32:40
Size: 22.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 24, 2007

Here it is.

Man, this day has been nuts . . . going to make an effort to make it less nuts! First step will be to remove more crap from computer and second will be to get out of the basement today and breathe some fresh air.

Show have fallen victim to fresh air for today. Blame mother nature ;-).

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Tags: bitty babies garage sales american girl dolls David Hochman rabbit stew

Best of Bits Aug 08, 2007

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 23:58:29 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-08.mp3
Show: #395
Length: 29:44
Size: 20.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 08, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Things got crazy around here and we weren't able to cut some more shows . . . so instead I used a bit of what I was working on to put a today's show together. While you are listening I'll be on my way to Seattle.

What's that in your yard? - 11:01
First worm farm - 10:37
Garage sale bunny smash - 3:52
1979 Monte Carlo - 3:50

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Tags: Monte Carlo worm farm pet goat bunny smash best of croncast

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 02, 2007

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 08:00:47 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-02.mp3
Show: #381
Length: 29:36
Size: 20.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 02, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Short show notes today
Sorry that Friday's show sucked so bad
And sorry that this one kind of sucks too
The replacement gear for the UA's sucks and I hate the sound
It just can't compare with the stuff we previously used
I will keep experimenting with it to get a better sound
Betsy busts me out for my lawn experiment
I am comparing Scotts to Scotts but different styles - seeds vs. fertilized filler
My money is on the seeds
Kris busts Betsy out for her picking up smoking again
Betsy sees the writing on the wall with her eBay garage sales
Prices in Euros and not dollars
Fisher Price 970 bear
And Betsy makes fun of my tan socks and lawn mowing shoes

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Tags: Scotts turf builder lawn experiment betsy smoking garage sale prices fisher price 970 plush dbx 1066