Gary Shilts | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 21 Ep 9: Copies, Chicken Chutes, Cheap Divorces

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 13:02:22 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-06.mp3
Show: #509
Length: 29:41
Size: 27.3 mb
Format: mp3

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I'm on the wellness train
Gary Shilts cheap divorces window scraper
Betsy's host read
I didn't know that you background in radio?
Your dating a of DJ
I got this gig through FFA
I wasn't gonna check chicken chutes
Feta is for farmers
Chemists making cheese
I was the hottest chick in FFA
They could break walnuts with their thighs
You know, those girls
They smelled like hog shit at school
Which farm implement to have sex in for comfort
What else are the going to do?
It laid fallow long enough
See you didn't get to do that
They would have given you the bullhorn one morning
Get your feral cat poison by the gallon. Two for one!
Corn based economy
Flat tire again
Buy wine and bottled water for earthquake
Better if it was a Croncast poster
Join the department of health
"You probably have hep c. Brought to you by Croncast.com"
We could find tons of new listeners
Small town video store All the labels were black and white
Quality of my relations was my credit

Tags: goat cheese FFA wellness train cronast ads corn based economy

Croncast Live Naperville Jul 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 08:47:55 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-09.mp3
Show: #384
Length: 32:56
Size: 22.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

First of all we need to thank everyone who came out to the show last night! Thanks to everyone who attended and those who become Croncast roadies in the process to help me wrangle gear and toys that littered the stage.

Turns out that we were both a little nervous and it comes through on the show but it was a ton of fun to do. More practice, more better.

So for those of you who couldn't make it out we've got today's show for you recorded from The Comedy Shrine. In the very near future, thanks to videographers Mike Marusin and Evan Brown we should have some video to share. For now you can check out these Flikr photos from Mike and Brian Beatty.

Special thanks needs to go out to Betsy's dad for helping to make this happen and to Dallas and Rachel Blair for driving out from the East Coast to come and listen to some strangers get down about their suburban platitudes. Time for some show notes.

Kris blows the intro but leaves it in because this is what happens nearly every show
Maybe there needs to be less light for you Kris
More basement like and it would work for you
You look warm
I had to get puffy cuffed
You guys get the full on puffy cuff
The intro happens again
Rolls right in to Mike's comment
Betsy takes it to task
What me go out and get a job?
I've have awesome stuff happen
Bring home cockroaches in my purse
Well, if I continued my current line of work
People have been doing it for ever
Sort of like prostitution
I'll buy it as a favor to you
Teri Horton, Who the Fuck is Jackson Pollack?
It's all about the fucking provenance
People are trying to take advantage of her
They show her sitting around the VFW hanging out
You can hear the live audience
We've been pretty excited
But most you haven't (listen to hear the tone it is a joke)
We work hard for you
This is show #384
I'm just kidding!
Sure it is passive aggressive but it
We have a lot more fans in the Pacific Northwest and New York, New Jersey areas
Yeah we could have filled two more tables
Betsy put together an outline for the show
Betsy and Jeanie going on the "greatest road trip ever"
Jeanie is all about the free drive
I still can't believe you are going
I've got one with adhd and a toddler who bites
Don't you remember Slowsky?
The Volvo is Slowsky reincarnate
The Valhalla middle class outreach program
Here comes Jeanie
She doesn't look like a truck driver does she?
I can't believe that you didn't carry a gun in your semi
Betsy on a zip line
You are going to die
We've all been honest with you
Jeanie, now you know I am going to put my fat ass on a zip line
Yes, Betsy I will shoot a gun from a Hummer for you
This is our basement . . . nearly
Just shooting targets
Maybe kill a deer remotely
Betsy rationalizes it as thinning the heard
I'll take the kids to hang out at John Elway Dodge
Jeanie was thinking a massage but now it's guns
The only place that I think I could shoot off a machine gun in peace in solutude would be my dads backyard
Need an inexpensive divorce in Illinois or fast bankruptcy?
If so visit www.gshiltslaw.com
Thanks to Gary for making the show happen
Jeanie tells the story of her dad finding a body
Attendee off the street A.J. also found a floater at Niagra falls
Betsy gets her dad going about the trips
Gary sets it straight with Sleazers butcher shop
What about the zebra steaks?
Betsy shows off her sweet scores of the week
Her Gucci bowling bag
The fisher price teddy bear
Well what the hell is wrong with a used bathing suit?
That's going to do it for us
Behind the scenes outro

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Tags: The Comedy Shrine Terry Horton Gary Shilts Valhalla vacation Jeanie

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 20, 2007

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 07:23:00 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-20.mp3
Show: #352
Length: 32:27
Size: 22.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 20, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks Kelly C.

Leave comments on any post
Kris will respond, Betsy won't
"I respond, I email them back"
My night story 10 times better
Kris spent 2 1/2 hours creating a mobile browser database
Much better than Betsy's story . . . not really
Betsy went to a comedy club
Could we have 50 in the basement to do a live show?
Not unless they were quite intimate with one another
Can't mess with the Bunco people
It was a different kind of experience
Thursday night was Ladies Night at the comedy club
The audience . . . Naperville Mommies
The joke about the rabbit . . . Sex and the City reference
Robin gets rolling with Betsy
They begin to party on their own while the show is going on
My husband Rick always wants to heckle the person on stage
"Betsy, does a radio show with her husband, a podcast in their basement. And it's really funny."
It's on now . . . you interrupted my show . . . get up here
Betsy holds back on stage
Before she leaves the club she asks about renting it out
We could have a celebrity guest on the show . . . Gary Shilts
The TV crews were rolling when they taped us
Betsy has never really done a full-blown Betsy ramble on the show
She's come close
There is something in the full Betsy ramble that is indescribable
I don't want mom and her deaf dog there
Why do you need me?
You have to edit it Kris
Blog posts to ensue from Betsy
"Reasons to own a Deaf Dog: The greatest experience of my life."
She really thinks her name is Stomp Stomp
She has to feel the vibrations
I know what your book about it . . . replace "dog" with "husband"
I am going to pierce your ears again Mr. B
The church ladies call Gigi grumpy
Kris is going to back and set them straight
Maggie's speech evaluation
As a parent where did you go wrong?
Talking like this in 4th grade will get her check minus
Christina Aguilara for Christians The Spew, Naperville The Comedy Shrine Naperville comedy club

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Tags: Croncast Cronies Naperville Mommies Bunco Robin Klau The Spew deaf dog

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 05, 2007

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 07:29:31 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-05.mp3

Show: #323
Length: 38:08
Size: 26.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 05, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Gary Shilts.
Well, "Big news on Friday" has turned into "Big News on Monday"
Betsy and a wise friend advised me against it for today, so blame them for ruining the fun
The blue thing staring me down
Turns out it is a dolphin, dolphins aren't blue
It's a kids swing
This color issue is bothering me
Have you ever hear that introduction before
You got it wrong Mr. B.
We would have this argument on some stranger's driveway
People couldn't handle it
Today's big news is that Betsy thinks I need to be her apprentice, nope
Betsy says that I can't tell the big news
You already gave it away Betsy in email
No one knows where we really live
Henry, the nerd posse
You have to give him a plug for his blog
Even though he's from Aurora we let him in
Drying your junk with an air dryer
You would think immediately that this is something would happen in Aurora
Well it wasn't
Thanks for the image Henry!
I know about your Habitat for Humanity
I am going on record, I have never messed the white powder
Unlike the Barack Obama
Betsy does not take this kindly
"They are dumping his stuff out in the public cause of his presidential aspirations"
What you're telling me is that Mr. Kris Smith was a worm farmer?
Who is 40 years old and hasn't tried drugs in their life
It's not he's Republican, every Democrat has done drugs
I don't understand this ideal . . . and Kris misuses the word "vestige" . . . I apologize
Happy rays come out of his eyes
Don't let him take his shift off then his love rays come out
Lifetime movies are TV teledramas purchased for $7.50 from a vault
Stranded on an island with a hot guy and her dork ass husband
We had to watch the movie because the starlet had big boobs, natural
Betsy is hitting the Black Box Wine again
I can see you doing what you do, Betsy, with any product
Dumpster diving does have real value
"I just got good at this," Betsy
Taking out the benches that could smash children
Watching the garbage man do his job
He has to think every week, "It's about time these people got evicted"
Getting teacher crap for the holidays
OK shows over

Tags: Lifetime movies Barack Obama Black Box Wine dumpster diving Gary Shilts