Gary | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 28, 2007

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:55:45 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-28.mp3
Show: #439
Length: 22:14
Size: 22.0mb
Format: mp3

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The posts are posts
The most totally Gary email
"I'm in a village where people go to die"
"Someone couldn't wait and died on train"
Life itself is a destination
Mr. B is all happy
You've made it someplace
Yeah, void before it started and void when it ends
I knew you would turn it around and make it negative
When I was hit by a truck I learned this truth
Sure I flew 30 feet
How do you know you flew 30 feet?
There were witnesses
In the country?
No, it wasn't the country I was in town
Kris, could you keep farm animals in town?
Yes
Then it is the country!
I can see the bike-a-thon
Ride you big wheel around the block, pig bbq, oh someone is dying
If you are windshield smudge before you are 10 you're not a smart one
The banana seat bike catapulted me
I can see your dad measuring 30 ft
Right, everybody in town carried a tape measure
Is there a point to this story
All, I am saying is life is your destination
Live it while you got it
Lawn chair collectors
That's a hotel chair
Gigi starts yelling
We're all on the edge of our seats, Kris
They got into rc cars
When you are not the one being farmed?
The human condition means we are all farmed
Mr B
Betsy explains how it is done on the farm
I had gravel but there are many a boy that would want gravel over grass
You can be negative all you want
Today is the greatest day ever Mr. B
I am dressed in my sloppy best
Betsy takes us way back
Is there ever a need to dress up in your world, Betsy?
No
I say the same things to you
Once you understand this story you will understand me
The broom story from the last show didn't do it?
Betsy tells a story that I have never heard
Her dad bought his wife a car
We drive out to pick it up from a country driveway
It is parked behind a convenient store
It looked like it belonged in your father's yard
It was three different colors
No class, no style but it had balls
It was the original hyrbrid
Dekalb Ag car
She was disappointed
I was 15 and drove all the time
I didn't want to go get a license
It was a formality, detail
As long as I don't leave his subdivision I could get out of it
And I entered a 4 way intersection that turns out to be a 2 way
I hit a girl in a little pinto
My friend said, shit you're 15 you won't get your license until you are 21
My evil side takes over
I realize that she is 16 and doesn't know what to do
This is when I take over
We shouldn't call the police
We can let our dads talk and take care of it
The rest is history
This is possibly Betsy's funniest story ever
You are going to be a scary adult

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Tags: Pinto my dad small town fundraisers big wheels banana seat bike

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 31, 2007

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 08:53:52 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-31.mp3
Show: #427
Length: 31:53
Size: 21.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 31, 2007

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It's Halloween here in the states
Betsy points out my illness of the past few days
It feels like something is eating my guts
Pop upstairs and see Betsy is watching PBS HD
That's ok to watch tears on PBS in HD, at least she is watching HD
The grieving process and death
How much more depressing can it get?
Dead babies?
Betsy how can you feel good after that?
Let me transition Kris
This was a transition you just didn't let me get there
Gotta bring it back for the people
The email for it was vague
What are we exactly going for
Not you, not you, not you
It's at the Rosemont Theater
Right by airport with turbine exhaust blowing in our faces
Downwind of O'hare
I put up some of the photos
Those are like Twitter questions
What did you put?
Podcaster
And it filled the whole thing
The people, Bears, the people
None of them were excited to be there
What do you do?
Nothing
Who can't come up with something
Prepare!!!
Don't stand there it's not your mark
Turns out that at this, audition
There was no Pat or Vanna
Plumber pipe fitter
I like to do karaoke
That's perfect, queue the music, YMCA comes on
Merv says, 'no'
Energy drops right out of room
You gotta flow with it
I can see the pipe fitters doing the YMCA karaoke in towels at the lodge
Pipe fitters singing YMCA
I got nothing for it
If you get on stage you get a bobble head Pat or Vanna
That's another Croncast t-shirt
She's just a Wheel junkie
PBS nerds look just like me
No they thought I was the baseball player, Youka-something
They were like, "I didn't know you could hit with moobs"
I did a couple interviews with Tony Kahn and Gary Mott for Morning Stories
Hopefully it will get on
Thanks to Tony and Gary for hanging out and putting up with my podcasting talk
I'm feeling the venom here
Now I have nothing left on my life list but riding a llama
Llamenade serverd at 98.6 degrees

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Tags: Wheel of Fortune PBS WGBH Tony Kahn Gary Mott Morning Stories

Croncast Live Naperville Jul 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 08:47:55 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-09.mp3
Show: #384
Length: 32:56
Size: 22.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

First of all we need to thank everyone who came out to the show last night! Thanks to everyone who attended and those who become Croncast roadies in the process to help me wrangle gear and toys that littered the stage.

Turns out that we were both a little nervous and it comes through on the show but it was a ton of fun to do. More practice, more better.

So for those of you who couldn't make it out we've got today's show for you recorded from The Comedy Shrine. In the very near future, thanks to videographers Mike Marusin and Evan Brown we should have some video to share. For now you can check out these Flikr photos from Mike and Brian Beatty.

Special thanks needs to go out to Betsy's dad for helping to make this happen and to Dallas and Rachel Blair for driving out from the East Coast to come and listen to some strangers get down about their suburban platitudes. Time for some show notes.

Kris blows the intro but leaves it in because this is what happens nearly every show
Maybe there needs to be less light for you Kris
More basement like and it would work for you
You look warm
I had to get puffy cuffed
You guys get the full on puffy cuff
The intro happens again
Rolls right in to Mike's comment
Betsy takes it to task
What me go out and get a job?
I've have awesome stuff happen
Bring home cockroaches in my purse
Well, if I continued my current line of work
People have been doing it for ever
Sort of like prostitution
I'll buy it as a favor to you
Teri Horton, Who the Fuck is Jackson Pollack?
It's all about the fucking provenance
People are trying to take advantage of her
They show her sitting around the VFW hanging out
You can hear the live audience
We've been pretty excited
But most you haven't (listen to hear the tone it is a joke)
We work hard for you
This is show #384
I'm just kidding!
Sure it is passive aggressive but it
We have a lot more fans in the Pacific Northwest and New York, New Jersey areas
Yeah we could have filled two more tables
Betsy put together an outline for the show
Betsy and Jeanie going on the "greatest road trip ever"
Jeanie is all about the free drive
I still can't believe you are going
I've got one with adhd and a toddler who bites
Don't you remember Slowsky?
The Volvo is Slowsky reincarnate
The Valhalla middle class outreach program
Here comes Jeanie
She doesn't look like a truck driver does she?
I can't believe that you didn't carry a gun in your semi
Betsy on a zip line
You are going to die
We've all been honest with you
Jeanie, now you know I am going to put my fat ass on a zip line
Yes, Betsy I will shoot a gun from a Hummer for you
This is our basement . . . nearly
Just shooting targets
Maybe kill a deer remotely
Betsy rationalizes it as thinning the heard
I'll take the kids to hang out at John Elway Dodge
Jeanie was thinking a massage but now it's guns
The only place that I think I could shoot off a machine gun in peace in solutude would be my dads backyard
Need an inexpensive divorce in Illinois or fast bankruptcy?
If so visit www.gshiltslaw.com
Thanks to Gary for making the show happen
Jeanie tells the story of her dad finding a body
Attendee off the street A.J. also found a floater at Niagra falls
Betsy gets her dad going about the trips
Gary sets it straight with Sleazers butcher shop
What about the zebra steaks?
Betsy shows off her sweet scores of the week
Her Gucci bowling bag
The fisher price teddy bear
Well what the hell is wrong with a used bathing suit?
That's going to do it for us
Behind the scenes outro

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Tags: The Comedy Shrine Terry Horton Gary Shilts Valhalla vacation Jeanie

The Gary Busy of animals

Thu, 31 May 2007 06:59:55 -0500

Garbage day was today, one day late thanks to the holiday, and the raccoons that usually party at the end of our driveway at 3 a.m. missed their grub.

In response they pulled a Gary Busy on me and when I took the garbage out at 6 a.m. I found that they left me some gifts other than ripped open Chinese take out and half-eaten diapers.

They thought it would be funny to leave me a string of poop down the center of the driveway between the cars. Odd, yes, but I know they are trying send me a message for not making the black bag offering full of kiddie dinner scraps.

And to get even with me? They poop between the cars, knowing full well, that as soon as Elliot runs outside in the morning to go to school and hop in the car he will be blinded by it's shininess, run around like a mad man laughing and yelling about it. Then, when I need to bring him back to earth, I'll have to explain that it came from the crazy raccoons who are threatening us to extort our trash.

He won't believe me. He'll think I'm crazy and tell stories about me for the rest of his life about how his old man thought that the neighborhood animals had a Soprano-esque society that extended to roughing up their human counterparts.

It's true. I swear.

Well, maybe it's not, but damn. Why they gotta poop on the driveway and make me have to clean it up before I've checked my email?

Tags: garbage day raccoon party half-eaten diapers table scraps shininess

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 20, 2007

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 07:23:00 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-20.mp3
Show: #352
Length: 32:27
Size: 22.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 20, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks Kelly C.

Leave comments on any post
Kris will respond, Betsy won't
"I respond, I email them back"
My night story 10 times better
Kris spent 2 1/2 hours creating a mobile browser database
Much better than Betsy's story . . . not really
Betsy went to a comedy club
Could we have 50 in the basement to do a live show?
Not unless they were quite intimate with one another
Can't mess with the Bunco people
It was a different kind of experience
Thursday night was Ladies Night at the comedy club
The audience . . . Naperville Mommies
The joke about the rabbit . . . Sex and the City reference
Robin gets rolling with Betsy
They begin to party on their own while the show is going on
My husband Rick always wants to heckle the person on stage
"Betsy, does a radio show with her husband, a podcast in their basement. And it's really funny."
It's on now . . . you interrupted my show . . . get up here
Betsy holds back on stage
Before she leaves the club she asks about renting it out
We could have a celebrity guest on the show . . . Gary Shilts
The TV crews were rolling when they taped us
Betsy has never really done a full-blown Betsy ramble on the show
She's come close
There is something in the full Betsy ramble that is indescribable
I don't want mom and her deaf dog there
Why do you need me?
You have to edit it Kris
Blog posts to ensue from Betsy
"Reasons to own a Deaf Dog: The greatest experience of my life."
She really thinks her name is Stomp Stomp
She has to feel the vibrations
I know what your book about it . . . replace "dog" with "husband"
I am going to pierce your ears again Mr. B
The church ladies call Gigi grumpy
Kris is going to back and set them straight
Maggie's speech evaluation
As a parent where did you go wrong?
Talking like this in 4th grade will get her check minus
Christina Aguilara for Christians The Spew, Naperville The Comedy Shrine Naperville comedy club

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Tags: Croncast Cronies Naperville Mommies Bunco Robin Klau The Spew deaf dog

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 05, 2007

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 07:29:31 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-05.mp3

Show: #323
Length: 38:08
Size: 26.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 05, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Gary Shilts.
Well, "Big news on Friday" has turned into "Big News on Monday"
Betsy and a wise friend advised me against it for today, so blame them for ruining the fun
The blue thing staring me down
Turns out it is a dolphin, dolphins aren't blue
It's a kids swing
This color issue is bothering me
Have you ever hear that introduction before
You got it wrong Mr. B.
We would have this argument on some stranger's driveway
People couldn't handle it
Today's big news is that Betsy thinks I need to be her apprentice, nope
Betsy says that I can't tell the big news
You already gave it away Betsy in email
No one knows where we really live
Henry, the nerd posse
You have to give him a plug for his blog
Even though he's from Aurora we let him in
Drying your junk with an air dryer
You would think immediately that this is something would happen in Aurora
Well it wasn't
Thanks for the image Henry!
I know about your Habitat for Humanity
I am going on record, I have never messed the white powder
Unlike the Barack Obama
Betsy does not take this kindly
"They are dumping his stuff out in the public cause of his presidential aspirations"
What you're telling me is that Mr. Kris Smith was a worm farmer?
Who is 40 years old and hasn't tried drugs in their life
It's not he's Republican, every Democrat has done drugs
I don't understand this ideal . . . and Kris misuses the word "vestige" . . . I apologize
Happy rays come out of his eyes
Don't let him take his shift off then his love rays come out
Lifetime movies are TV teledramas purchased for $7.50 from a vault
Stranded on an island with a hot guy and her dork ass husband
We had to watch the movie because the starlet had big boobs, natural
Betsy is hitting the Black Box Wine again
I can see you doing what you do, Betsy, with any product
Dumpster diving does have real value
"I just got good at this," Betsy
Taking out the benches that could smash children
Watching the garbage man do his job
He has to think every week, "It's about time these people got evicted"
Getting teacher crap for the holidays
OK shows over

Tags: Lifetime movies Barack Obama Black Box Wine dumpster diving Gary Shilts

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 10, 2006

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 06:31:58 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-10.mp3

Show: #300
Length: 39:19
Size: 27.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 10, 2006

That's it, the contest she's over. We've hit the 300 show mark and have winners that we drew this morning . . .

New listener winner - Matt Kavgian
Handle winner - Tom Simpson

Both of you guys will be receiving an email from me later this morning to ask what color iPod you would like. However, if you see or hear this first drop me an email and tell me what color you want.

Betsy and I want to thank all of you for listening to the show! Some of you have been listening for two years(a little something in the show for you around the 4:15 mark), some of you who are new and to all of those somewhere in between, thanks for having us over.

Show notes:

We give the iPods away
Betsy gets right into why it is just us on the show
No Betsy's dad he's got he flu
Not a good week for Gary
This is the way it should be . . . me and Booba
Is it too much pressure to be on the show?
Would Betsy ask the hard hitting 60 minutes questions
Why did we do the announcement at the beginning?
Betsy hung out with a listener today . . . Tara
Our family thinks continually that all of our listeners must be crazy
Bagels and the playground
There are normal people that listen to the show too
How did she find us? Message board
People talking about us online
Goggle and technorati ego searches
The Google searches that we get - "How to Show p*$#y to Husband"
My guess from the search is Russian mail order bride
The reason for all the hits is that we have over 549 items listed in the site
"folicular" is also been popular we're still number one at Google
I think Robin Klau coined dairysnake. . . .let me see
"Hey, so whatever happened to Slowsky?"
Poor Slowsky, Betsy wants to go see Slowsky
Kris says that Slowsky is gone
Betsy has a new passion that must be quenched . . . it has to do with QVC
She is going to call and see about purchasiing returns to sell on eBay
Amvets sweet old lady changes her tone when asked about sales
The semi will be here soon to fill our house . . . I know you Betsy
Not loving the hustle
The multiple home handsets for phone
What is the deal with the phone again . . . "checking line for trouble"
We talk about the last two years and reminisce about nearly destroying our marriage
On Monday we'll talk about the show and our plans
Outro is a little more for the long time listeners

Tags: Google 300 300th Show Matt Kavgian Tom Simpson

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 23, 2006

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 06:56:24 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-23.mp3

Show: #266
Length: 28:54
Size: 19.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 23, 2006

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

You decide
You look like the people on "V"
My dad had this girlfirend at that time
Barbies's like "V" people
Stuck in the room with a SciFi fan
Lord Hubbard
Betsy gets right into the email of stating the obvious
That was kind of mean to email to my husband
We get it very often
I know that Betsy is funny, funnier than I am. That is why she is on all the time.
Cosby reruns
Here's the how we started podcasting
Kris gives up
Betsy finishes the story because it is boring and she make it all good
No one cares
Are you retarded?
Betsy is even bored with the story
No wonder I am more clever than you
We should do this
Let's go to Kris with the weather
We're like ABBA
Up until this point I thought that things were getting better How much can I get for this equipment on eBay
Betsy says, "Three times a week is a lot of work. I could be sleeping."
The Goodwill ban is in place
Betsy financial disaster
I can't win
She would have bought a dog anyway
Elliot stabbed with a pencil in class on day two
Dolly Parton
Solid Gold in the 80's
Oh, the spoiled kids
Tony and Gary . . . thank you, we're sorry for this show.

Tags: V Hubbard ABBA Betsy Dolly Parton Solid Gold

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 158

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 07:20:39 -0600

Croncast - 2006-03-14.mp3

Show: #202
Length: 36:19
Size: 24.9 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 158

If you have a moment and iTunes Leave a comment - this will help to spread the word about the show!

Show Notes

Late night Monday show
Kris is a man without a country (so to speak)
The basement floor is half complete
Kitchen tear down tomorrow
Alifooka from Yahfunke
World music is not our bag
Cow tank swimming is good o'l boy hot tub
Raising cat fish in the cow tank
Betsy talks about the crazed mommies (see images on previous post)
Triplets first time around would make you insane
Momma sow having babies
Playing in barn
Pre-shop for the big ass garage sale
Gie Gie is needy
The cart, the cart, the old lady cart
Freakish contraptions
Night trains for the laundry baskets
Women are in each others faces
Wow, she must have gotten up early
The haunted dolls on eBay
There is no doubt now that "My Size Barbies" are a pedophile treat
Colorado City, AZ
Gary and Judy on vacation
He'd buy the haunted doll
Sunday, sunrise to sunset, swapping wives, no judgement
Go to work? Your job is to take care of me!
Betsy is cold hearted for the boys who want toys

Tags: My Size Barbie swapping wives garage sale kitchen remodel

Croncast on Morning Stories

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 15:54:36 -0600

Betsy and I were on Morning Stories today.

A great pdocast which most of you already know but for those of you who aren't familiar with Morning Stories it is a podcast produced by Tony Kahn from WGBH in Boston.

Thank you, Tony and Gary, for making us a part of Morning Stories.

Croncast listeners should also know that without some encouraging words very early on in podcasting from Tony, we might not have continued on this path.

So when you hear Tony hosting the World on NPR or any other radio show, think of him as I do, a podcaster first and the warm voice of meaningful stories.
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Tags: stories tony morning croncast hosting

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 103

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 05:05:25 -0500

Croncast - 2005-08-01.mp3

Show: #144
Length: 39:58
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 18.4mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 103

It feels great to be back!

The past two weeks have been good us, the break, the NY Times mention, the Morning Stories mention (thanks Tony and Gary) and all of the emails and comments from listeners.

We finished last month ranked 62 at Podcast Alley. Sure we weren't around for half of the month but you can helps us out this month with a vote at Podcast Alley to to turn that 62 into a 2, a 6 or even a 26.

Our tour of Europe over, Kris and Betsy return rejuvenated- well not quite though I did take Kris on the Olive Garden Tour of Italy...

Actually we spent our time off battling waves of sewage
you know you are an adult when you are really interested in articles titled "What you need to know when buying a toilet"
I now have a dream toilet
but shouldnt everyone

Conclusion of the firefighting drama
Its great to be back thanks for coming back

Also, I have been notified that one of our most loyal listeners Ms. Fiona had a loved one pass away and noone was there for her more than Ms. Natalie, who Fiona would like immortalized as THE GREATEST FRIEND THERE EVER WAS wow fiona you are such a great friend no i mean really a great friend.

If you have a shout out you would like in the show notes email me and I will add it

On an upcoming episode Kris and Betsy weekend plumbing warriors

Tags: kris betsy fiona back friend

Croncast - Kris goes solo Ep. 10

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 12:10:52 -0600

Croncast- 2004-12-06.mp3

Length: 21:00
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64k
Size: 9.62 mb

Croncast - Kris goes solo Ep. 10 is general nerdery, a bit about the music business and PBS Frontline. Mixed with all of the shout outs and plugs for podcasting and podcasters.

Today's Show

Intro
Kris remebers to give URL's
No special for today, Friday
PBS HD Frontline "the way the music died"
The wrong and how podcasters can help fix it
Plug the Podfly.com and Gary Bibb
Podcast.net redesign, newbie friendly
Podcastalley.com redesign and forums
In studio with Broken Vegas
Music industry dollar advances - hint: walk away
The formula
What's up for this week's shows

Tags: music croncast kris pbs redesign