Google | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Spend Happy Hour with Mrs. and Mrs. Smith

Wed, 21 May 2008 16:03:54 -0500

That's right, you can have a drink or four with Mrs. and Mrs. Smith at House of Shields in San Francisco this evening at 6:30 pm. Many thanks to HOS proprietor, Schlomo, for having the ladies. Even if no one else but these two show up it is not going to end well.

House of Shields is located at 39 New Montgomery Street: see below.

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Tags: House of Shields San Francisco Schlomo Mrs. and Mrs. Smith

smooth move verizon - via twitter

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 15:29:24 -0500

900 plus google results for your new mms footer - http://tinyurl.com/3rynvb thanks for the spam!

Tags: iphone verizon footer sucks

Rant: Strategic blog commenting? Strategic tweeting?

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 08:23:42 -0500

Listen up Mr. and Mrs. internet marketer, your actions are sour, insincere and totally transparent as to your desire to dupe someone into clicking your link in an attempt to make a buck. You are full of shit and we know it. And, your students suck even worse at it.

Here is one example of "strategic blog commenting" by an idiot following the advice to get Google alerts for keywords related to his/her own site:

"Thank you for providing such useful info about dogs. The picture at this page is beautiful and love to eat one, look delicious." - Internet Marketing Douche Bag (real name hidden to protect the innocent)

The user email was admin@ourdataentry.com and the user URL linked back to a site about dog care. I'd say contextually there is something amiss here since the photo, other comments and title all indicated that the post was about hot dogs.

In this group I am not talking solely about the automated comment spammers that originally made our lives miserable but this new wave of get rich quick, "My internet marketing coach told me to do this" and internet marketing coaches, themselves.

As you and your people strive for authenticity, I believe that is one or your credos, maybe that term is no longer used, but you are about as authentic as a Gucci purse at a swap meet.

The entire reason for this post is because the comment above showed up next to a message from twitter that I was now being followed by 'helpmycashgrow'. Are you kidding me? You people make my head hurt. He also dropped this gem - "At work right now, at least i'm "supposed" to be working". Sir, you give me the confidence to let you help me grow my cash.

So now that people are strategic tweeting as a piece of their better mouse trap I would also like to call out the ass kissers on twitter, those trying to make an impression with someone that they don't know by disparaging another twitter user who comments directly with the person you are trying to kiss up to. Just don't do it. Might turn out that the disparaged and the ass kissee are good friends and the ass kissees other friends read that you are disparaging their friend.

Again we can see you for what you are but when you stoop to a troll level it is even more apparent that you have nothing to add except a desire to, as you perceive it, move up the food chain.

My hope is that you will all go back to infomercials and ripping off the elderly with home improvement scams. But I am guessing your type is here to stay and I just need to get better at filtering you out.

Tags: Internet Marketing Coaches Suck Teach Yourself and Save Your Money

Season 19 Ep 17: Small Fry, Baby Face, Knight Rider

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 09:49:40 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-15.mp3
Show: #463
Length: 43:23
Size: 29.8mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Jeanie is in town
Leaving some comments
The guy who sells stuff on tv
Getting our first C&D
You've got to be kidding me
The links come from Ebay
Didn't want to be told
It's all ESC fault in the first place
If you get one too ESC let me know
I will roll over like the big pansy that I am
Go to Google and
Stipulation is owning those two words put together
Like I own Mr. B?
Now if you say it I am going to sue you
I will find all
I copyrighted Jeanie's CB handle 'Small Fry'
Career choices
Look she married me
One wild crazy idea
Jeanie's face
I got you something earlier this week
I got a job
Where is my present?
I paid for that
I'm going all out
Did you squeeze some ground beef out of tube
Guys, I am trying to get a career
We know Betsy
What happened to Wheel of Fortune?
Not gonna happen
Just get back to people tell them it isn't working out
Find me the chubby stay at mommy stay at home comedian
Like my improv career that I pay for
The gig fell apart
It was an association party
They don't want
Is the man in the basement telling me that I don't get out enough?
It is your lack getting out
Yeah, we're gonna perform during dinner time
I had a flash back of the belly dancers at the conference
Holding napkins over crotches slinking off
The belly dancing went down
At the next party there was a bondage demonstration
The year before they had the painted women
Ewwwwwwwww
Jeanie might recognize them from the lot lizard count
Anyone named Velma under 72 is a lot lizard
Isn't your grandma named Velma?
Yes, she is older than 72
Did the people even want you there?
Jeanie dated that guy
I didn't date anyone on the road
For technicalities sake, you did have a trucker boyfriend
What was his CB handle?
They called him "Baby Face"
Baby Face and Small Fry
Did he have to sit on a telephone guy?
Baby Face turned you into a trucker
I thought we were going to talk about my resume
Karen Zhender gender bender
Why don't you eat your weight in free cake and we can blow this popcorn stand
For out last performance
"Whew, last one"
Passing on the highway
We chatted with Knight Rider
He had to pick is own CB handle
You and who? You said we?
Me and Sweet T
Jeanie, I love these stories
Where else did you work?
As a 911 dispatcher
No way!
You've got to have good stories
He was in the evidence 'shed'
Shed?
When you destroy guns you saw them in to pieces
He was sawing
Friction and a bullet in the chamber
He swore that he checked
Officer Twinkie shot himself in the leg
Stopping speeders

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: Knight Rider Jeanie Bowen Velma cb handle

AdSense for Mobile but not for RSS?

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 12:37:36 -0600

There is no such thing as AdSense for RSS.

Google has run a closed beta for AdSense in feeds for nearly 3 years (that's like a billion internet years) and acquired a company that got feed advertising down to a science but there still is no AdSense for RSS.

So what gives? This a great opportunity to increase distribution of ad inventory and generate more revenue for publishers - the very people that make all Google services valuable.

My feathers are so ruffled on this because Google has figured out how to make AdSense for feeds work, for everyone. It's called AdSense for Mobile.

AdSense for Mobile has dumped the JavaScript copy and paste for server side execution in PHP, CGI/Perl, JSP and ASP. All four of these languages are magic bullets for putting AdSense in RSS feeds.

Why? There are a couple of reasons:

1. Most feeds are generated by blogging platforms that are built on these languages
2. JavaScript is needed to display AdSense ads and RSS feeds with JavaScript embedded in them aren't valid. Which means that most aggregators won't even allow you to add the feed. If they do it won't execute and will display the code inline.

So how do I know this this server side scripting will work?

I tried building an ad network with OpenAds for RSS feeds and very quickly came up against the JS issue for serving dynamic or keyword ads. I spent a couple of hours figuring a way to make it work, very similarly, with just PHP. So when I saw the mobile ads I thought "Bingo. This is it!"

Another reason that I know the mobile code would work for RSS is that by making a simple tweak to the mobile code that is supplied by AdSense I was able to serve the ads in my browser and output them as XHTML.

If a publisher took this modified code and put it in their feeds and made sure that it is placed in a CDATA section within a given name space like they could run AdSense ads. It's just that right now, the ads are formatted for mobile with phone numbers as links instead of urls and the publisher would probably get booted from the program.

Work with us feed freaks on this Google. It's time to stop policing the spigot, you've got the tech in place. Give us a taste.

Tags: AdSense RSS advertising mobile ads AdSense JavaScript

Season 19 Ep 6: Hire Kris, Styrofoam Cups, All Caps

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 09:52:39 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-18.mp3
Show: #452
Length: 28:19
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

View Kris's resume or download it

You wanted more than Wheel of Fortune?
Now you got it
Sure you want it
How to tickle a nerd?
Let us see funny stuff in our stats
From Google searches
Yeah I look for the search term
You know that your IT people got their space
They all need a little space
Evidently we are more exciting than a blue haired lot lizard
Those I dig, they were funny
I'm glad you are getting tickled
Not those industries
If I could reach a lower point in my wife's eyes . . . don't know what it is
Things couldn't be going much worse for me
Instead of life preservers I'm getting styrofoam cups
I am smiling and laughing because I know you are on cusp of something terrrible
Monday was going to awesome
Back story
Interviewing and meeting with people
Turns out they didn't want me for the job that I had applied for
We really want you
What do you want to do?
What would you want me to do if I worked here?
What does my resume say to you?
In all honesty, I haven't read it
Nice
So they loved me
For the last two months we'll get back to you
We are figuring this out
We know how to make it happen
When job hunting you are in a hurry but no one else is
The key is to not come off desperate
I asked what the culture was like
Sure I ended up over dressed
I'm applying for every job that I can
Everything and anything
Manager at Caribou Coffee, you bet
Come Monday most likely we'll be selling the Maguar
We've learned a lot over the last two years
Kris explains how his job ended
Next time all the other cats get gone
We did the best thing we could do at the time
If I would have waited three weeks I might not have had a job
We thought being proactive would be better
Betsy is keeping us afloat in food and small bills with china sales
The eBay sales have been
Listen, it even gets worse
I am fucking everything up
It's me
I'm not doing it on purpose
But it is surely me
Betsy runs her business like a busy mommy
So she gets an all caps email
Directed at the software that she sold for me
It's not my fault he doesn't get it
Oh, my God I am going to kill Kris
For this software, you have to be a nerd!!!!
If you aren't you won't even know what this software is
Not just a nerd but an audio nerd to know what Yellow Tools is
Yeah, I went after him
Not my fault he typed in all caps
Reaching pretty low lows
Wasn't listening to the Wheel shows better?
Man, this is depressing
Got a line on a gig?

Tags: styrofoam google searches low lows Wheel of Fortune interviewing

How to tickle a nerd

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 07:32:56 -0600

Do you know how this is done?

I can tell you how to tickle this nerd. And not it that way, pervert.

I check stats on Croncast many times a day, usually paying great attention to the searches that come in from Google and few months I noticed that someone was sending messages by searching for "croncast 'your funny quip here'" and then clicking through to the site. Funny stuff. So we asked people to do that for a contest of sorts and we read them on the show.

Today, someone searched these gems that I can't pass up sharing:

croncast better than mail order colostomy
croncast more satisfying than blue haired lot lizard
croncast cured my tennis elbow with a magic eraser

These are the types of things that make checking stats fun, and not to be forgotten, doing the show.

Tags: Google site search Croncast joke search tickle a nerd

Dear Internet User

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 13:46:27 -0600

This is directed at you, the lost individual awash in delusions that what you want to do with your face is 'cool'.

If the you that I directed this to is really you and you were the one that searched on Google for 'pencil thin beards + maintenance' then please send us a pic of the train wreck that will adorn your cheeks.

Also, I am sure that there is a boy band out there someplace attempting a come back, which has to be the reason for this search. Good luck with that.

Tags: pencil thin beard boy band beard

Google Reader shared feeds getting tweaked

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 19:00:32 -0600

This afternoon I noticed something funny happening with Google Reader shared feeds. It seems that feeds are now mixing namespaces for the main content of the posts.

Previously all content was delivered via the 'summary' namespace but when I did a check after getting some null data fields I took a look at the shared feed and sure enough there was a new namespace, 'content' for the main content. Makes sense. But it is a pain if you are expecting everything to be returned as 'summary'.

My guess is that they are saving time and money by not rewriting the original source feed main content namspace. However, it creates an XML namespace soup that is harder to navigate.

When stuff like this happens it makes me nervous, especially when I am building something on the back of it.

The last time this happened Twitter turned off pagination for getting recent tweets for your friends. Killing a really cool project that I spent more time than I care to recount. I'm hoping that Google will not do the same. Fingers crossed.

Tags: Google shared feeds namespace XML soup shared RSS

What good are 3 hits from Google search results?

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 08:56:11 -0600

I can tell you. It all depends on what people are searching for.

Painfully obvious, right?

Well, not so much when someone searches at Google for intitle:"chocolate" ext:rss. The odds are astronomically high that even chocolate experts weren't even returned as results. See for yourself.

So what does this mean? It means that someone searched Google for a RSS feed (ext:rss) with the word chocolate in the title (intitle:"chocolate").

Yes, the search is more advanced than a keyword or phrase based search but that isn't my full point. The reason that it matters is that not only did this individual search for chocolate but also culture and abba. Not quite sure what it says about the person searching for those topics . . .

So for me, these three hits matter. They are three more than I would have normally received for those topics and a chance for me to get them to possibly subscribe to those feeds, subscribe to my podcast, click an ad (yes, I like money) or get my brand in front of them.

I am able to do this with keyword feeds that I create dynamically from posts that get the same SEO treatment that a normal webpage would get.

The other plus for this type of search is the fact that they return so few results and Croncast happens to be ranked #1 for most of them including searches like, say . . . "CNN" or "Micorsoft" or "iTunes".

I've had conversations with a friend, Rick Klau, about RSS feeds being indexed in Google search results. Most of those discussions focused on my saying that feeds should show up in search results and Rick saying that they shouldn't.

My stance is that some people, like myself, benefit from these results the same way that we benefit from a normal click through to our sites. I am able to do this by checking where the individual who clicked through is coming from and displaying a web page instead of the RSS with the exact same data that was in the feed.

But I don't stop there. I also make sure to let the user know how they got to the page and that they can now subscribe to that feed. It's a soft landing for what traditionally has been a hard look at XML or ugly feed displays in browsers. Which is where you will end up with 99.9 out of 100 feeds if you click through them when returned in a search.

What is Rick's position? If 99.9 are bad then they should be removed. For the time being I will agree that he is right. But that doesn't mean that this is the way it always has to be.

A couple of things could change this:

1) The uptake of RSS since IE7 and and FireFox now display their own XSLT to prettify the XML. Sort of like FeedBurner does.
2) Publishers add their own XSLT for their feeds
3) Publishers using blogs, most of which are dynamically generated, are written with code that can check for referers like Goolge, Live and Yahoo and redirect the user to a page that has the same content as the feed
4) My favorite. Google could create their own XSLT document that loads the feed into it.

Maybe that was more than a couple but I believe there are a lot of ways to welcome feeds into indexed search results beyond having to type in a search like intitle:"Google" ext:rss.

By the way, I'm not number one on this one Google is with it's YouTube property.

Next up, how to create RSS feeds with keywords in the title, how to get the .rss extension added to your feeds and landing pages for feeds.

Tags: RSS search page rank Google search RSS XSLT FeedBurner

Think differently about RSS and its uses

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 10:39:03 -0600

Over the weekend, as some of you may of you noticed, I live photo blogged my Saturday afternoon date with Betsy and our trip to Goodwill. For me it was a time to watch Betsy as she navigated her adopted habitat and to see her operate in a way that is far from the norm in our everyday lives.

I knew this was going to be an interesting experience. Why not share it in as many ways as possible (distribution to: Flickr, Twitter, blog and RSS) with as many people as possible? One input with multiple outputs across the various Croncast audiences.

Making it happen is a lot easier than you think with email and RSS.

First. it is the camera phone that takes decent photos. Second, is the phones ability to send email with photo attachments. Third, is a place to email the photos that has an RSS feed or other API connectivity to other applications. Tons of sites like Flickr, Seesmic and Tumblr offer these and can even do some of the distribution for you. Get these three things in place and sharing your experiences in near real-time has never been easier.

Currently, it does take a little more skill to distribute the photos to Twitter. However, if you get creative you can breathe life into photos that wouldn't normally have existed after it was consumed/viewed in a photo sharing site or through an RSS reader. It is worth the effort to figure this out, it's the next stage of content distribution online.

How do I know? Google Reader shared feeds are the perfect example. Typically once someone reads a post in their reader it has reached the end of the line. But if someone shares it with Google Reader it then gets added to the individual users shared RSS feed and resyndicated. A new life for that content. The same goes for photos that end up in Flickr or a Flickr RSS feed.

In my case, live photo blogging and my ability to cast a wider net wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for the Flickr RSS feed from my account. It is the magic API that feeds (pun intended) the river of resyndication that allows me to give that new life to our content.

Here's how it goes down:

1. Upload photo from phone to Flickr with subject line used as image title
2. In the body under the photo begin with an asterisk (*) if I want the photo, title and description to be a blog post also
3. In the body under the photo begin with a carat (^) if I want the title and a link to be a tweet
4. Add both asterisk and carat (*^) for blog and twitter
5. A PHP script grabs the Flickr RSS feed and reads it for asterisks and carats every two minutes and sends the photo, title and description where it needs to go
6. If it goes to the blog the title and description will be run through a keyword generations script
7. If it goes to Twitter only the title is sent and a shortened url is created to link to the photo

What all of this does is allow me to create multiple channels of distribution that can reach the different audiences that follow us. There is a bit of overlap with multiple audience members subscribed to the same services but quite a few are not. We have the Twitter audience, the blog audience, the flickr audience and the RSS audience. We also have our podcast audience but they are not really a part of this type of delivery

Summary: Look for ways to utilize sites like Flickr as a content management portal, if even from your mobile phone, to cast a wider net across your network. Work to find that one point of contact that has the lowest threshold for allowing you to get your media and thoughts online with the ability to resyndicate your content without having to lift a finger. Well, too many fingers. And make sure that it has an RSS feed!

Tags: live photo blogging RSS as API flickr twitter seesmic tumblr

Raise your Google PR, add 'nofollow' to affiliate links

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:59:56 -0600

For the last six weeks I have paid the price for forgetting to upload updated scripts that had the "nofollow" attribute added to text links. By not getting this done when I wanted I suffered the wrath of Google's PR (page rank) drops for those with "paid" text links.

Though, mine weren't paid, they are a home grown system that I wrote for the eBay affiliate program. Turns out the Google algorithm never asked if I was being paid for those links. Stupid robots.

The impact has been that our Google search referrals went down by over half!

This cut my average monthly take from Adsense and the eBay affiliate program to less than $200 combined. Barely enough to cover my server and not enough from Adsense to even get a payout last month. Bluh.

Since Monday I have been watching search referrals steadily climb and our Adsense and eBay money generation increase accordingly.

My recommendation to anyone that currently relies on search traffic to make some loot add rel="nofollow" to all of your text links that might be interpreted as paid.

And if you are using a text link ad company, ask them if they are using it. If not, make your own affiliate links and blaze a DIY trail that Google won't punish you for.

Tags: Adsense eBay affiliate eBay developer Google PR text links

Facial recognition for contextual internet ads?

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 13:55:34 -0600

Though some may call it an eerie coincidence. I prefer to think of it as a conspiracy by those trying to target ads.

What is, "it"?

Glad you asked.

"It", is what I saw today while reading a news story about a guy who wanted to bail out of a plane at 30,000 feet.

Those smart marketers have done two things:

1. Proven that inline facial recognition from images can work like keywords to control ads
2. Proven that Einstein did invent a time travel machine and bad caricatures

Tags: Einstein Google Adsense advertising United Airlines commission junction

Kris Smith - New Media Expert For Hire

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 13:16:39 -0600

Time to plug myself like I have no shame!

Thus, in the true spirit of being shameless, I will create this unabashed self-promoting bit of text to tell you about the Kris Smith that many of you don't know.

Planet earth had just escaped the Y2k bug so we bought our first computer since they didn't destroy the world they must be okay. So in early 2000 I taught myself how to use Wavelab to edit audio and later that same year I took my first programming class to learn HTML. The rest is history, as they say in the biz.

In the last seven years, I've accomplished more things in digital media and web development than I could have ever anticipated:

1. Developed and coded the first version of Castlock a New Media and metrics platform
2. Founded the world's first company dedicated to podcast production
3. Worked with and produced for Fortune 500 companies
4. Spoken at conferences and universities across the United States about RSS, New Media and podcasting
5. Developed moderated media RSS feeds (mmRSS) for episodic and archived content delivery via RSS
6. Gained a network of professional colleagues across the globe
7. Interviewed celebrities and professional athletes
8. Became certified in DVD authoring software used for major motion pictures

If you have the hankering to check out my full repertoire and could use a self-starter with innovative skills, you can visit my Linkedin page, download my resume or search "Kris Smith" in your favorite search engine.

Tags: RSS guru Podcasting professional PHP Castlock New Media expert RSS expert