Henry | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 19 Ep 24: Moral Compass, I can't tell you, ABBA

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 07:30:12 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-24.mp3
Show: #471
Length: 26:34
Size: 18.9mb
Format: mp3

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Wish I had done show notes last night
Trying to the show to download from my phone isn't going too quickly
OK, here's what I got
The laughing intro
Betsy has to stop
She can't handle not making fun of me
Oh, Mr B
You'll be gone for 3 days
You're boyfriend would come out of the closet
How did I slip through?
If it were 1950 I would be married to a gay man
Now they're strolling to Erasure hand in hand
Isn't that ABBA?
Whitney was for the queens too?
Yes, Kris
Why do you think they like me so much?
That is what will hold you back from being a republican
No that would be my moral compass
It's called empathy
Henry is still trying to make me a republican
You have a manic nature with work
Just put a chip in me
Interfacing with machines would be much easier
What did you just think?
I won't be held to testify, I can't tell you

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Tags: ABBA Republican moral compass betsy smith

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:27:44 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-03.mp3
Show: #393
Length: 32:41
Size: 22.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

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Kris is losing his voice
The most emotional day of Jeanie's life ensues
Jeanie wakes up hammered
Betsy woke up and rubbed her feet all over Jeanie
It is the curse of Betsy
Betsy hates feet, can't stand feet
Wants nothing to do with feet
However, she can't keep her feet off of you
She has to put them on you
And these aren't regular feet
They are a women's size 12
A man's size 11 1/2
And they are like meat hooks
Dry, jerky meat hooks
And they are rough and jagged with a sixth toe on each foot
Like the Chinese guy in the Guinness Book
It must be a female thing
Evan yells at me when I do it to him
Why do you gotta put your toes on me?
Get on your own side dude!
Sorry, Mrs. Smith greatest day ever isn't gonna cap out
While I'm dying of alcohol and nicotine poisoning
I wake up and the toilet is full of Kobe of bananas foster
I didn't puke on the floor . . . it is from when I got out of the shower to puke
Jeanie, "This is gross"
We have to get up, today is the second greatest day of my life
The day that I get to go and shoot stuff
I'll have the fruit plate
It comes back as fruit art
We tell the waiter, but it is obvious that Betsy is hungover
The waiter comes back with cappuccino for the ladies
Jeanie gets amped
Somebody give that woman a firearm
Betsy now feels the same way that I did when we were on the ATVs
Even Linda Hogan has to put chin to cleavage and push on
No pressure, step up to the plate
We walk in to Valhalla
Turns out that John is going to help us
There are like 10 bronze Remington statues
Gigantic NRA flags on the wall
Celebrity photos on the wall
John, ex-Navy Seal, comes over and talks to us
I have never listened so hard in my life
"Oh shit, we are really going to do this"
This will be in live combat simulation mode
The bullets will explode
"We do not point the gun at anyone. Including me," John
This is when Jeanie begins to panic
We have to sign a waiver with or social security number
If you had been in the presence of an ex-Navy seal
John comes over and lays down 9mm pistols in front of us
Jeanie looses her color, "I'm trapped in this steal room with pulverizing bullets"
More instructions on how to hold the gun
He helps Jeanie out arm over arm
We are not going to be Olympic competitors if rifle
Ready position
Jeanie pulled . . . and she melted
The Navy Seal saw it coming
He grabs her. Jeanie, "Bull shiiiit!"
All of the sudden there are stars in the sky
She is still standing right next me
I can't quit shaking
Do you need some water?
He grabs lapel, "We have a freaker"
He knew you were going to hit the road
Lodged, malfunction, strike the magazine
Bang, bang, b-bang
Shells are falling all around Betsy's Crocs
Betsy turns around with the gun and Jeanie hits the deck
That is just the beginning
Betsy, "It's OK to go Jeanie"
Trying to be encouraging while crying
Jeanie is the world's best friend
John2 at the front desk watches the uncontrollable shaky Jeanie
Do you want some oxygen?
Finally they send a car
Meanwhile back at Valhalla . . .
OK you shot'em in the head . . . but it doesn't mean they can't still kick your ass
You keep shooting till they don't move
The look on your face is the look in that picture!
John has made a very large impact on your life
I am going to take you to a live scenario room
If this were a long term course we would work on your startle reflex
Betsy is awesome with a pistol
They take Betsy into a biker bar with a terrorist
I know it went down but you've got to keep shooting them
So Betsy clears the room . . . "Clear and cold"
Fear of firearms
John, "We have one more room for you"
He walks Betsy into a biker bar scenario room
Your face baby, oh my god
So in the corner of the bar is a robber
All you can see is his head and arm because it was around a hostage
I turned and dropped him with one shot between the eyes
It was the best feeling that I ever had
So Kris this is what I am thinking . . . a well armed wife is a happy wife
"You cannot beat and armed woman"
They sold purses designed for your concealed weapon
I am putting it out there for birthday
Henry just erased everything off his board and wrote, "I win."
You might be the first person to be turned away at the Unitarian church
I was going to tell Elliot, "Mommy took down a terrorist today"
So now it is time to leave
Cold maze is a good maze
I think something that contributed to my discomfort was not breast feeding for 3 days
To the right of me is a breast pump going full speed
Betsy finished up . . . and says I got to get rid of this stuff
It's like the trucker's pee bombs
Yeah, except this is 90 proof
She looks out window and says, "Are you ready?"
Jeanie, "Why is it going to be beautiful? Is it going to turn into fairy dust"
Is this going to be amazing?
I gotta do this cool because there is a wind going
Betsy throws it out . . . and it comes right back at her
The inside of the Volvo is now covered with breast milk
We stop at the Continental Divide
You remember how I feel about high mountain roads
Betsy, keep talking to me, keep talking
Those nets are to catch landslides
You could have explained pump and dump
All of the sudden we see cable cars
"The highest point on highway 50"
It is gorgeous
I was not feeling well
Jeanie is shaking, exhausted and needs a pick me up
Betsy, what kind of fudge do you want
"What dude," Betsy says Colorado slow
I think that I am freaking out
Now we have to drive down the mountain
Fudge won't help anything
We made it down it ok
But we were following an RV
Can you use those for cars?
No you have to hit the mountain
The RV's brakes were on fire
It took us six hours to get home
That's it, installment 4 of Betsy and Jeanie's trip to Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club

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Tags: Remington Valhalla Shooting Club Linda Hogan Continental Divide shop Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 09:59:37 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-27.mp3
Show: #390
Length: 32:29
Size: 22.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

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It's been a while since we've done a show
The worst part is I can't tell anyone the story
It will ruin the show
We have to tell everyone we'll tell you later
I did see some of the photos baby
Jeanie and I laughed
Don't start there Bears
This is not the typical Croncast, Kris and Betsy story
Sure I have been supplanted by Jeanie
Mr B would have done this anyway
Do you want to tell your story?
Can I give you some hints to telling a story
We are going to start our story from the very beginning
Jeanie rolls up to my house
We have to go to my sister's kids party
My mom and my dad in the same building, stress
The last time was like 10 years since they were in same room
I had nightmares about how bad this trip was going to be
Epiphany was to dope them out with DVD's
Misgivings? Why? Last year was not enough?
So I strap in the DVD player and monitors
We surprise the kids with it
Strap in the kids and pull away
The power adapter pops in, out, in, out
Elliot,"It's on, It's off. It's on. It's off."
With a former truck driver by your side I shouldn't have been worried
Jeanie took a class in map reading
"Betsy, where is the map?"
"I don't have one."
Simply a print out from mapquest
With the kids I figured it out
Take the group home approach, catch them being good
What does Maggie get?
Green dry erase markers
45 minutes later Jeanie says you've got look at Maggie
The scariest site ever
Maggie colored herself green and put chocolate in her hair
She was laughing maniacally
"I funny. I funny."
So we pull over at a truck stop
I walk in with Gigi
Everyone stops, turns and stares at us
She had lifted her dress and colored all the way to her diaper
That woman is totally talking to Betsy
Dry erase markers come off very easy
Where are you at this point?
Western Illinois
Jeanie wanted to hit the world's largest truck stop
Betsy, "Didn't you listen to last year's vacation show?"
Another thing that we learned last year was to get a hotel room
Jeanie was rolling up in the driveway when you booked it
You didn't remember it
Kris, shut up, this is my show
No map Betsy doesn't know where she is
Elliot and Maggie hit the hotel and want to sleep with mama
Elliot has had it and is ready to sleep in the car
Little Kris was in the backseat complaining
Now he reads numbers he made sure to point out we were speeding
I don't recommend the Super 8 in Lincoln, Nebraska
Isn't there something in Lincoln like a university
Jeanie brings the good trip karma with her
The scary omens of the open road
I had apologized to Jeanie
You have got to heed the signs
Every mile marker was a Slowsky moment
I was amazed that we rolled into Denver/Boulder area
The kids have started to melt down
Hey, you've won another Pokeman card
Jeanie, can I have another car
Honey, Mommy is going 90 mph you need to sit still
They waited until we were in traffic to act up
Every parent knows that you kids don't need anything from you until you are merging onto the interstate
We were behind a Prius
It had a blue hair in it, double whammy
Did the exhaust smell like broccoli or cooked carrots?
When you ride with Betsy you are junk coordinator
Fast food dumped in your lap and Betsy sipping on her diet coke
Give me that grilled chicken bitch
I know you, Booba
Speeder! I won't get in to it
Kris has speeding story to tell
My great Denver court room story
We have been here for 12 minutes into the immaculate clean house where we are staying kids flip out
So we leave the house
Where did you go?
Pearl Street
Do you want to stand on a clogged street in 88 degree heat with hippies
Elliot's hippie story, guy's sign said, "need money for a shirt," but I watched him take off his shirt and stick it under a rock
Sounds like Pearl Street to me
Henry is putting up a mark on the chalkboard right now
I know who your favorite hippie is
Jeanie called Evan to tell him that they were going to see the hippies
"My ship has sunk. I need cash"
I told you it was the pirate
Very herbal
They're all playing guitars and wait for you
No judgment, eh Kris?
Pete the pirate
You could start a fish stick line with his name for $6
I have to stand there and tell my son that this stuff is normal
We saw Goth grandma
She doesn't care anymore
You get passed 70 and start tripping on your titties
The point of this story that children work on 15 minute cycles
Jeanie sees the
Here's the reason the hippies bother me
They are balanced out by smug trust fund babies
Betsy, "I only pan handled once. That is a story for another day."
The next day when you came home from San Francisco I made sure we got home right away
Elliot saves family in the mountains
Give him a hard time, you can't mess with the man
We stopped someplace in between
The place where you buy gas in a bucket
We roll into Rocky Mountain National Park
The kids are watching Scoobie Doo at full blast
We are excited about a fox with dead animals in its mouth
Elliot, "Shush, there is a boy named Elliot in this episode"
Momma, I just saw a squid
Momma, I just saw an alligator
Not even close to being in a forest
It's not funny when you are their mother
He got it from a book you bought him
A book about future animals 10,000 years from now with illustrations
I forgot my cell phone
That is what I do Mr. B
So we start going up the mountain
Jeanie is gripping the OSHA car handle
The blood vessels are popping out from between her fingers
She has gone pale
Maggie, "no up. No up. No up."
Betsy talks Jeanie down
Look I'm driving with no hands
Maggie's sense is I'm strapped in
Shut up guys, Scoobie is on
Wrap the show . . . coming back down the mountain
Maybe a little Elk Mountain Resort, Valhalla on Monday, Wednesday

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Tags: portable DVD Pearl Street Jeanie Bowen summer vaction 2007 Elk Mountain Resort

While I'm on this whole black hole sun thing

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 10:04:46 -0500

I remembered seeing Chris Cornell do a version for the Henry Rollins show on IFC.

For some reason they don't allow you to put the video in your own site. Hello!

However, they do give supply a link. Grunge fans, enjoy.

Tags: Henry Rollins Show Chris Cornell IFC black hole sun Henry Rollins show

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 22, 2007

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 07:13:49 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-22.mp3

Show: #330
Length: 33:22
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 22, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Henry Busby
Kris thought he would be cool and Betsy shoots him down immediately
Yes, it wasn't that cool
Leaving comments at Croncast, please do
Wii comments on the Wii friend code post
"I love my Wii," Betsy
You're trying to steal my thunder
I'm gonna pick up this dusty Wii and go pro
Betsy plays tennis for 2 hours and makes it
Something fabulous should happen when you make it pro right?
Betsy makes tennis pro
Tiny little start!
Shave 10 pounds off my Wii
Betsy's Mii is too lifelike
Kris did a great job making her Wii
I didn't do anything to it that would make it out of the ordinary
No clue as to what you're husband would change about you
"It looks just like me"
Wii tournament is next weekend
Betsy is going to auction off all my old electronic equipment on eBay
The Zune . . . I have to have it for a corporate client
Nobody is going to use it, but the lucky winner of my auction will
You are the worst with money Mr. B
Brown is not cool
I can't believe you bought a brown one
Can you imagine wearing this brown brick on your hip at the club working out?
It's a step away from the normal colors
Has design sensibilities
The broken iMac
Betsy starts the swearing fit
Nick T is real . . . his mom left us a message, right on!
Slowsky's spirit is back and haunting Betsy's new car
Betsy can't hold it together with car guys
The dealer says they can't get up in for a week . . . right
The haunting continues
Is that normal to happen with a car that has 3700 miles on it?
Did you spill something in it, mam?
Betsy escalates with the car guy immediately
Kris steps in to slow it down
So Volvo of Lisle supposedly fixed the car
If you want us to wash your car it will take another 20 minutes
The sign said it would be clean when I got it back
And the dealer wouldn't give me a loaner car
Betsy goes out with a friend Saturday night
Tries to start the car that she picked up 7 hours before
The car won't come out of park again
It is now abandoned at her friends condo complex
THE CAR IS BRAND NEW!
Her friend tells her it is a lemon
Volvo roadside assistance will be called Monday morning
Do you know the effort it is going to take?
You're telling me that I need to start the Slowsky saga all over again
Hoping that this is a symptom of a greater problem
Well, Zues peed on someone again . . . she was pregnant
She's going to fall and give birth in a puddle of dog urine
And Betsy bolted

Tags: Henry Busby Volvo of Lisle Volvo V70 Volvo Lemon Brown Zune

OneMan gets some msm attention for obama2008.org

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 10:30:10 -0600

OneMan, friend, listener and commenter got himself some more local press for his domain www.obama2008.org.

The New York Times ran a piece including him a while back but now that the locals have it . . . you know it must be big.

Congrats Henry!

Tags: Henry Treftz www.obama2008.org OneMan obama 2008 obama for president

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 05, 2007

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 07:29:31 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-05.mp3

Show: #323
Length: 38:08
Size: 26.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 05, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Gary Shilts.
Well, "Big news on Friday" has turned into "Big News on Monday"
Betsy and a wise friend advised me against it for today, so blame them for ruining the fun
The blue thing staring me down
Turns out it is a dolphin, dolphins aren't blue
It's a kids swing
This color issue is bothering me
Have you ever hear that introduction before
You got it wrong Mr. B.
We would have this argument on some stranger's driveway
People couldn't handle it
Today's big news is that Betsy thinks I need to be her apprentice, nope
Betsy says that I can't tell the big news
You already gave it away Betsy in email
No one knows where we really live
Henry, the nerd posse
You have to give him a plug for his blog
Even though he's from Aurora we let him in
Drying your junk with an air dryer
You would think immediately that this is something would happen in Aurora
Well it wasn't
Thanks for the image Henry!
I know about your Habitat for Humanity
I am going on record, I have never messed the white powder
Unlike the Barack Obama
Betsy does not take this kindly
"They are dumping his stuff out in the public cause of his presidential aspirations"
What you're telling me is that Mr. Kris Smith was a worm farmer?
Who is 40 years old and hasn't tried drugs in their life
It's not he's Republican, every Democrat has done drugs
I don't understand this ideal . . . and Kris misuses the word "vestige" . . . I apologize
Happy rays come out of his eyes
Don't let him take his shift off then his love rays come out
Lifetime movies are TV teledramas purchased for $7.50 from a vault
Stranded on an island with a hot guy and her dork ass husband
We had to watch the movie because the starlet had big boobs, natural
Betsy is hitting the Black Box Wine again
I can see you doing what you do, Betsy, with any product
Dumpster diving does have real value
"I just got good at this," Betsy
Taking out the benches that could smash children
Watching the garbage man do his job
He has to think every week, "It's about time these people got evicted"
Getting teacher crap for the holidays
OK shows over

Tags: Lifetime movies Barack Obama Black Box Wine dumpster diving Gary Shilts

Wii are sore and photos to prove it

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 10:46:26 -0600

Mike put up some shots from our Wii party last night in the KlauManPit. This is my favorite, Rick busting up during a game:

Tags: klaumanpit wii party Henry Treftz Rick Klau Mike Marusin

Played Wii, grown man, sore body, hardly type

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 00:45:01 -0600

Mike did us up at Rick's tonight and we had the equivalent of a man Tupperware party. The Nintendo Wii is a hit even with old men.

I never thought that I would dig a video game system this much. If Mike were selling them (which I recommend to anyone who can get there hands on a couple) to us he could have sold 3 of them cause I know Henry would have bought one too.

I won't be the only nerd sore in the morning from swinging the controller around. My arms are dead from the boxing game . . . turns out I got some boxing juice that won't quit.

Update: Shots from our Wii party last night in the KlauManPit. My Mii player,

Tags: Wii Nintendo Wii Wii games Wii boxing Wii Naperville

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 13, 2006

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 07:29:17 -0500

Croncast - 2006-10-13.mp3

Show: #284
Length: 38:22
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 13, 2006

Show notes:

Betsy stops the intro to tell me she is having worst day of her life
Here you are mommy drinking wine again
Betsy, your lips are stained from the wine
Left alone in tragedy and sorrow
It's not an anti-depressant but it feels good
Betsy and her eBay assistant leave to get groceries
Miss Kitty left the house early
She's 17 she can do what she wants
Betsy goes off on weird tangent
The man does his Tao Kwon Do stuff
Now it's late and the cat hasn't returned
Do you see where this is going?
It wasn't just the wind
A cat with dirty nipples from dragging on the ground can't be homeless
Mother-in-law went out to look for kitty
The sad meow from under the neighbors shed
Can't figure out how to get to it
Now they realize that there is something terribly wrong with the cat
Miss Kitty was very limp and third-eye lid not open or closed
There is a lot of blood
The late night vet and the weird staff
Is Zeus to blame?
Late night vets serve an interest
Evan, Rick, Henry and Mr. Puffycuffs
Kris was at TECH cocktail 2
Listen Betsy, there will be video
Gotta stop touching the mic stand
Kris says on video, "There are more women here than last time."
I can't do these things without Betsy present anymore
Betsy wants me to stop telling her this stuff
Don Loeb and vicariously Carrie Lozano the director and producer of Reporter Zero
Thank you Carrie and Don for the copy of the movie!
The triscadecaphobic will be working at home tomorrow . . . not me
Subdivision chili cook off is tomorrow night, be prepared for Monday

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
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Tags: Techcocktail2 Reporter Zero Miss Kitty Puffycuffs triscadecaphobic

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 08, 2006

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 06:37:28 -0500

Croncast - 2006-09-08.mp3

Show: #272
Length: 29:07
Size: 20.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris September 8, 2006

No full intro today
Betsy starts making funny hand gestures
Her dog looks like the BBK
He looks like a spooky eyeless doll
His brain is like a wire that goes from his eyes to the back of his brain
Though he is the bright spot in our lives this week
Fancy stripper pole? I wish!
Betsy talks about the non-painted basement
The saddest daddy story of my daddy career
It's like selling junk . . . I love it
We all sit in the same spots
No switching sides of the bed
How can setting the table be bad?
Sometimes I enjoy the fact that you aren't around a lot
Maggie takes the plate for me and she put it by the basement door
Elliot set table and put martini glass out for grandma
Betsy is worried about Gigi not speaking enough
We'll clap for Googie, but she won't say anything that we want her to
Our collective hard-headedness is magnified in our children
"I'm not gonna do it unless I want to do it"
"The rules don't apply to me if you haven't noticed"
"That's OK I don't care"
Betsy cuts me off
Starts messing with me
Ahhhhh, he is a little boy
What is your deal?
Betsy meets with Elliot's teacher to explain petit mal seizures
They say the man is smart they say, we know this
His issue is organic
"He doesn't show right or left hand dominance," teacher. Really, of course we notice
Parental conferences
I'm a scumbag who lost their driver's license
This license is suspended business is out of line, makes us feel dirty
No Slowsky on the driveway
Betsy's sister is not appreciative
Iron shoes? You can walk on water with those?
The DPV at the resale shop
The Goodwill move
Kris is the funny and Betsy is my crutch
Walking into Henry's life . . . thanks for the rides to work cause my driver's license is (illegally) suspended holmes
What does he say?
Two great things about Henry . . . great driver and awesome story teller

Tags: DPV epilepsy driver's license Goodwill Slowsky