James | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 10, 2007

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 09:08:08 -0600

Croncast - 2007-12-10.mp3
Show: #444
Length: 30:08
Size: 20.7mb
Format: mp3

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Betsy laughing during intro
James Brown sang "It's a Man's World"
But that's all wrong
I've seen enough previews from Showtime to know
It's a lipstick lesbians world
No, Kris, I've watched enough Lifetime TV
Betsy has 'dranken' a little much wine
My portion size is off drinking it out of a milk glass
I am not drinking wine because it is grape juice with alcohol
What?
That is like saying that I don't like Boone's Farm Wild Island
So I went to buy some wine at Costco
You can't take kids in there
You can take them in there
No way, Costco is way to shishi
They have to stand outside and scream
Man, when I was a kid my mom took us to Walgreens with her to buy booze
No way!
Yeah, she would go to get prescriptions filled
We would walk into the liquor department buy booze
Then go back to pick up the prescriptions
You need something to wash the pills down with
My grape juice didn't have pulp, Betsy
Listen to me retardo montoban
Wine and grape juice are parallel in my brain
You again agree with me
After last week's shows . . .
I won't apologize for shows anymore
But they didn't have the full funny
Elliot went on a trip with Betsy
What would Grandma want for Christmas Elliot?
Something for her 'Pitties'
What?
Those things that you ladies have that grow out of your armpits
Do you mean breasts Elliot?
Ummmmm . . . I don't know
You guys got those weird undees things that go over your 'Pitties'
Do you mean a bra?
You can't buy your Grandma a bra for Christmas
One day you start itching
Then your Pitties come out
Grandma bras on eBay
Our kids won't be having kids
Sure, Betsy
Can Kris leave the house without returning with a story?
Nope
Did you leave the house this weekend?
Yeah, I left last night
Two nerds sitting in a bar next to one another
Loud music, and communicate through twitter
I saw my friends this morning at the Goodwill opening
My video tape buyer shows up
He is great
He would be in a Thrift Score
I mentioned that I was doing some new stuff
He walked away from me
I wasn't trying to hang
I was trying to over do it
The best time to sell 9 1/2 Weeks
They will raid him and he is creepy
His wife thinks he's crazy
What are you doing wrong?
We are soul mates, Kris
Betsy's jealousy comes out
We had a hard week last week
Interviews are going great
More this week and some follow ups

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Tags: Wine Boone's Farm Wild Island Pitties James Brown Thrift Score

Gnomedex 2007 podcasts: these are my people

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 09:19:05 -0600

This morning I put a new post over at my seldomly active kristophersmith.com blog about the podcasts that I recorded at Gnomedex this year.

No need to rehash the post here but I wanted to point out that if you are interested in new media, emerging media that this set of 14 podcasts is a great starting point.

And for good measure, Greg Cangialosi shot some great video of about 4 of the podcasts. You can watch my not so secret show intro laugh that I usually cut from every show.

Here's a sample (if you can't see the video click here):

Tags: New media emerging media Greg Cangialosi Stan James Chris Heuer

James Clark, Room 214

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 09:23:06 -0600

James and I are demoing and blogging today.

Tags: james blogging demoing room clark

Other things I do, more podcasts

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 21:28:09 -0500

At Gnomedex last weekend I recorded a ton of conversations with friends and fellow nerds.

I released them as podcasts over on my work blog. For the nerds that get this feed some of this stuff might be of interest to you.

Podcasts from Gnomedex 2007:

Adam Metz - LaunchSquad.com
Hans Chung - PostReach.com
Steve Fisher - StartupSpark.com pt. 1
Steve Fisher - StartupSpark.com pt. 2
Greg Cangialosi - BlueSkyFactory.com
Doug Kaye - Gigavox.com
Chris Brogan - ChrisBrogan.com
Mark Chernesky - CNN.com
Jeremy Wright - b5media.com
Aaron Brazell - b5media.com
Stan James - Lijit.com
Josh Hallett - hyku.com
Chris Heuer - ChrisHeuer.com

Also, good friend Greg Cangialosi shot some video of those interviews. The first of the set you can see me puffy cuffed and the other you can see me done up in a feedburner (r.i.p) t-shirt.

Download video

Tags: Gnomedex 2007 Aaron Brazell Greg Cangialosi Chris Brogan Chris Heuer Stan James Doug Kaye

First Jeff Probst, then the rest of celebritydom

Thu, 10 May 2007 13:39:55 -0500

Well, I got my first celebrity interview under my belt, Jeff Probst. Even though it was scripted I was able to go off the range and get some good questions in like, "How has being the host of Survivor changed your life?". A total Barbara Walters moment.

The interview will be live sometime in the next few weeks on the clients' sites after I edit it together and it goes through the proper channels for approval. I'll be sure to let you know when it does go up.

Also, I need to thank my partners at Room214, James and Jason, for believing that I could pull off this interview. Now the hard work begins making my voice sound like Don LaFontaine.

Tags: Jeff Probst Survivor Barbara Walters celebritydom James Clark Jason Cormier

Bukowski is smiling in his grave

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 10:52:11 -0500

According to iTunes I have listened the Grinderman album 40 times. I think I'm finally starting to figure it out. Or maybe not. It's a story, maybe a movie. Forty more times and I might have a better answer.

Regardless, the best line ever uttered over the top of a screaming guitar and pounding piano comes from Get It On . . . "he drank panther piss and fucked the girls you're probably married to". That is art.

It makes me think about all the machismo of the 70's cock rock (which I am well versed in thanks to small town roots) . . . Rober Plant might have thought about it and Ronnie James Dio might have actually done it but they never said it quite like this. Lovely.

Tags: Grinderman Nick Cave best lyric ever Ronnie Jame Dio 70's cock rock

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 24, 2007

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:40:33 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-24.mp3

Show: #331
Length: 30:20
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 24, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by James Hously
Intro done partially without any effects at beginning and the rest . . . history
Betsy mimics the bird man intro to the detriment of our audience
You look like a bird, Mr. B
Yeah maybe a flightless bird
Bears, you look like a Red Breasted Booby-Knocker
That would be the name of the bird that I get to name
You would name them all that
Who's got the PhD in Birdology . . . ornithology
Oh back when it was rocks for jocks
The same depth of sag, that's why they got along
You're being really sensitive tonight
I hit 30 and have found some good friends
People in 40's, 50's say when you are in your 20's you don't know shit
What are you thinking Betsy?
Chill out Bears
We we're oh so dumb, what did we know?
Why did we get married . . . especially at 20 and 21
I don't remember . . . but love and all that
That is back when you were wearing the teal cummerbund
With the fuschia shirt
You could have fried an egg on that shirt on a hot day
I used to walk home from that job at 4 am
Did you turn down every fourth prostitute or every third?
I did get followed home one night
By who a manitute?
He was hoping for Ballpark and ended up with a cocktail weenie
We hit 30 and things started to change
Kris, you proved us all wrong
That is back when I was making pizza's at the gas station
That guy did me a solid . . . he set me up with my first computer job
He asked me what was up with wife being pregnant
Worked for them for five years
The reason that Kris doesn't get along with IT departments
He opened the door for me
The tow of Slowsky part two
Living in Milwaukee and the car is going to get towed
But sir it has "Just Married" written in soap on it . . . "So"
Read your medication guidelines for side effects
I'll share most of it

Tags: manitute Red Breasted Booby-Knocker ornithology PhD Slowsky part two casino cage Volvo of Lisle

Get ready you mother . . .

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 09:47:40 -0600

In memoriam I am making Janurary 10th all James Brown day; car, office and man pit writing code this evening.

It shall be henceforth known as James Brown Day . . . if I remember next year. Hopefully this post will help.

Tags: In memoriam James Brown Day James Brown sometimes payback is sweet

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 01, 2007

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 07:44:42 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-01.mp3

Show: #321
Length: 34:26
Size: 23.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 01, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Bernadette Bean.

Betsy yodels for Bernadette
Our 400th year of Croncast
I'm surprised this isn't an anniversary for you
the 4 millionth minute of Croncast
Any resolutions Beeboo?
I want everyone to be nicer to me . . . that's a wish
Shopping for clothes on December 31 is a great way to start
It'd be nice to wear a smaller size
Shaper things that are for post pregnancy
Is it stomach? Is it thighs? I don't know
Getting the pudding back through the funnel
It is the new age corset . . . Flexees
Nope my wings were still popping up over the top
Asking the sales lady for help
She was old and saggy, she was probably wearing Flexees she had to know her shit
I didn't throw a penny on the floor and ask her to pick it up
The first thing you do is get a full body suit
That is absolutely crazy
If you want extra control
You could sell be at Bobak's if I wore that
It's like an unnatural sausage casing
So goes Betsy so goes the family
Going to be looking for new pants
Kris used to be a size 34 two years ago
Jumped from the train and landed in the pudding
I won't wear a man Flexee
All I got were chubbies by the little Andre Agassi pant ends
That is absolutely horrible
It is rock bottom for the chubster
2006 was the year of excess for us
We did everything to limit this year and we did it with food too
Kris's lunches this year . . . way expensive
Gotta spend the business money
Then buy yourself something that is gonna last
I had to eat, I had to, to keep the tax man away
Kris will ratchet down his lifestyle
We're gonna eat chicken and vegetables everyday
I picked up a veal roast . . . walked around with it . . . thought about the baby in a box . . .and put it back
Can't get into lamb either
I've worked with those little sheep, they are not that cute
You just went cross-eyed what are you looking at?
The beasties that bust loose from your drop ceiling
Gerald Ford conspiracy is afoot
Not to diminish the passing of an individual
James Brown was buried is sparkley shoes . . . Amen
Let's make it a 4 day weekend
The carrots that I am given
Kris is a nocturnal rodent that is kept awake during the day and has to sleep at night
The troll Kris would be if he were single

Tags: Flexees full body Flexees Bernadette Bean Andre Agassi veal roast

Rest In Peace James Brown

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:49:43 -0600

My six year old son can tell you the difference between 'bad' and James Brown 'bad'. Make that 'super bad'.

To Mr. Brown and his heirs, thank you for the years of enjoyment and for those to come.

Tags: James Brown super bad rest in peace james brown

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 114

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 05:49:10 -0500

Croncast - 2005-08-26.mp3

Show: #155
Length: 29:36
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 13.5 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 114

Geoffrey sends a special message with his support donation, "More sex, less dead dogs pls."

I'm with you Geoffrey, next time Betsy wants a story that I am reluctant to tell, I will switch it up with something slightly less horrifying like sex and us.

Show notes:

Betsy is showing up early to pick up man
Extension of credit for cosmetic surgury
Receptionist as example
Betsy rationalizes that she is taking care of Muffin
Geoffrey Zehler Foundation
Mike Nelson and James Miller foundation of red states
Al Franken does it up for the reds
Walking penetration
I now know what another man's belly feels like on my belly
The "we're bringing someone in to dance with us"
For every dollar I make Betsy spends three
Her eBay stash
No gas money, here's a hose Kris go get some at midnight from the neighbor
Actual conversation in the house due lack of reality TV
Restless Leg Syndrome - hello? Are these people serious?
Antsus In Your Pantsus Syndrome
Tommy Lee show
Three's Company has set Betsy up for a lifetime of bad television lust
Girl's next door
Being Bobby Brown - the real reality show should be the experience of the guys running the cameras and the producers
Bobby Brown is the example for not wanting to succeed
Dipthong lessons
I love outro
Pledge drive, support the show.

Thanks to everyone who has already donated!

Betsy is not getting her paws on this money.

Tags: betsy geoffrey croncast kris example

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 34

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 12:52:24 -0600

Croncast - 2005-02-10.mp3

Show: #71
Length: 37:31
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 17.2 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 34

My special guest on this show is . . . the ailing Betsy. We talk a little today about one night stands, can you call a intimate love a "lady friend"?, what about "man friend"?

What a world. Kris actually talks about politics on the show today. Betsy and I talked about our liberal tendencies and Kris actually has something good to say about a Republican president.

So with politics aside, or right out in the open, we talk more about pet modification, Kris not remembering what he posted on the blog yesterday, NPR stories, Darfur, Rush and his Oxycontin, dumpster diving for food, the need for plastic surgery, the best description of breasts after they have been used for feeding by Betsy, Kris losing 85 lbs and Betsy lost 135 lbs, podcasting everyday is like cocaine and the shout outs to Dave Miller from The Miller Report, Rinne and James at The Invincibles.org (you have to check out the newest video), and we end with Kris's jacked up teeth . . . again.

Tags: kris betsy croncast actually miller

Croncast - Richie and his friend Kris Ep. 2

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 11:02:57 -0600

Croncast - 2004-12-16.mp3

Length: 38:35
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64k
Size: 17.6 mb

Croncast - Richie and his friend Kris Ep. 2

Sorry this one missed the 3 p.m. cut off for today but I had major . . . major technical issues with the recording and had to edit all of my tracks because the pitch of my voice was in James Earl Jones territory.

Today's guest is Richie Carey and we discuss some of his work, past and the Boston Globe coming to visit him about podcasting for this Sunday's edition.

Today's Show

Notes Later

Tags: croncast richie major ep friend