Lifetime | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 23 Ep 12: My Sugar Momma, Lifetime Movie Moment, Madrid Nights

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:28:44 -0500

Show: #547
Length: 32:14
Format: mp3

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New Match profile
On the way to the ferry
Born in the 1960's
Where are your shoes?
Goodwill jeans
Leprechauns visiting NYC
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: leprechauns tourists ed hardy match.com opera singer

Season 23 Ep 09: Croncast Sampler

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:11:13 -0500

Show: #544-Sampler
Length: 5:54
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Hey hey
Those comments are gonna flow
Yes, I've had hamsters before
This would be a fourth
Well, it is a fourth
How did you have four hamsters?
What happened to them?
Kris tells a story that should never be told
I don't want to go into all of the things I learned in La Moille
You set me up for a lifetime of chores
I didn't walk away
I'm still here
No matter how much like a midget New Yorker and it's cute it won't work
As it is we can't have the landlord in to fix anything
Just don't tell Mommy
Daddy's buying me a hamster
You have no idea
I do know
Feral hamsters don't count, Kris
Glow in the dark ball back in the day
Pets didn't last me all that long
I tried to cram it down the Sesame Street slide
No it didn't die
Does you mom still have that?
It aint' a rabbits foot, it's a hamster foot
Look, is was common at that time
Aluminum foil on the bottom
What?
That is what they said to do
Who?
The people at the pet store
<-- sampler show ends -->

Tags: croncast kris smith betsy smith season 23 ep 08 get cool

Season 23 Ep 09: Daddy Justice, Aluminum Lined, Long Memory

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:06:28 -0500

Show: #544
Length: 28:09
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Hey hey
Thos comments are gonna flow
Yes, i've had hamsters before
This would be a fourth
Well, it is a fourth
How did you have four hamsters?
What happened to them?
Kris tells a story that should never be told
I don't want to go into all of the things I learned in La Moille
You set me up for a lifetime of chores
I didn't walk away
I'm still here
No matter how much like a midget New Yorker and it's cute it won't work
As it is we can't have the landlord in to fix anything
Just don't tell Mommy
Daddy's buying me a hamster
You have no idea
I do know
Feral hamsters don't count, Kris
Glow in the dark ball back in the day
Pets didn't last me all that long
I tried to cram it down the Sesame Street slide
No it didn't die
Does you mom still have that?
It ain't a rabbits foot, it's a hamster foot
Look, is was common at that time
Aluminum foil on the bottom
What?
That is what they said to do
Who?
The people at the pet store
<-- sampler show ends -->
That is the way it was done
Was it like 1840 Louisiana?
It didn't do him any good
Just like you didn't end up with straight arms
The way that it is
If he's smart he won't eat it
Was your crib lined with foil?
He decided to do himself in
Brittle plastic bottom
It was a bird cage
I can't even look at you
Why did he die? I don't know
I highly doubt you had a hamster
It was really a dead parakeet
This is my friend Pete
No wonder the neighbor kids never played with me
Oh my god, that is dumb!
Maybe it got bird food
I lived in a blissful bubble till I met you
Oh, baby
Dylan's Candy Bar is worth the trip to NYC with kids
Maybe I shouldn't have done it
She will never forgive me
She's got a great memory
Don't go buy a hamster
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: hamster pet store dylan's candy bar new york la moille

Season 21 Ep 14: Rat Poison, SHE Squad, Followed Home

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 13:23:38 -0500

Croncast - 2009-02-20.mp3
Show: #514
Length: 26:43
Size: 24.6 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Missed the Wednesday show
Besty's been sick
Must be the path
Never buy rat poison, Gatorade and get a passport photo at same time
It's no just my paranoia, I was followed home by a black mercedes
Sure, Kris, they sent the SHE Squad after you
Right after they finished shooting a show on Lifetime
Bret Michaels mouth
Yes, Betsy, the dogs mouth is cleaner and he eats his own poop

Tags: Lifetime SHE Squad rat poison black mercedes Bret Michaels

Season 20 Ep 2: Tijuana Jellies, Rent a Goat, Living Through Kids

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:27:16 -0400

Croncast - 2008-04-07.mp3
Show: #477
Length: 33:02
Size: 22.7 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2007 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: TBD. Stop by and buy them a drink or two!

It's like having naked people on web site
Sure, it is nerd porn
If you had a math site
You could put up a really hot formula
Don't open your eyes it will make it real
Big weekend and Betsy alone time
I found out alone time is overrated
I love the kids but I didn't miss them
Normally when I am alone, I am with Vicky
That means you are not alone
You guys spend too much time together
Something like that
Betsy you watch Vicky
Security has your picture up on the wall
Did I ever tell you about Vicky almost being kidnapped?
No, you never have
But it explains a lot about your relationship
Vicky is going to get a goat if she moves to Virginia
That's is like having a girlfriend in Canada
"I have a goat in Virginia"
Rent a goat
Yeah, they call them petting zoos
I just want a goat petting zoo
Tell me about the kidnapping story
Was my mom baby sitting you?
Vicky was in the cart
I was cramped and pushed in underneath
I looked like a giraffe in a VW
She is 2 1/2 and you are 7 1/2
This woman grabs Vicky
But she is stuck
You know how kids get stuck in carts
Sure maneuvering them out
She was panicking and pulling
My mom lost her mind
What are you doing the whole time
I was like whatever
The woman runs out of the store
My mom's first reaction was to yell at me
Not call the cops
I gotta sit down so low to see the cereal
I don't know what it is
Get the hell over it
You are crazy
Your sister must think once a week what my life would have been like
Divorced with two kids
Lifetime movie moments
Jesus Christ, you look like a victim, suck it up
Mom picks up Vicky and says, "Run!"
I lied about my size them
It was expensive in California
I had to wear Jelly shoes 3 sizes to small
I begged my mom at a dollar store
Sure your Tijuana Jelly Sandals
There are times when you can't afford shit
Standing in line at the Louisiana post office
So for Christmas they shipped me chameleons in a box
They arrived not alive

Tags: Jelly Shoes Mexico rent a goat parental reaction pup pup

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 10, 2007

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 09:08:08 -0500

Croncast - 2007-12-10.mp3
Show: #444
Length: 30:08
Size: 20.7mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Betsy laughing during intro
James Brown sang "It's a Man's World"
But that's all wrong
I've seen enough previews from Showtime to know
It's a lipstick lesbians world
No, Kris, I've watched enough Lifetime TV
Betsy has 'dranken' a little much wine
My portion size is off drinking it out of a milk glass
I am not drinking wine because it is grape juice with alcohol
What?
That is like saying that I don't like Boone's Farm Wild Island
So I went to buy some wine at Costco
You can't take kids in there
You can take them in there
No way, Costco is way to shishi
They have to stand outside and scream
Man, when I was a kid my mom took us to Walgreens with her to buy booze
No way!
Yeah, she would go to get prescriptions filled
We would walk into the liquor department buy booze
Then go back to pick up the prescriptions
You need something to wash the pills down with
My grape juice didn't have pulp, Betsy
Listen to me retardo montoban
Wine and grape juice are parallel in my brain
You again agree with me
After last week's shows . . .
I won't apologize for shows anymore
But they didn't have the full funny
Elliot went on a trip with Betsy
What would Grandma want for Christmas Elliot?
Something for her 'Pitties'
What?
Those things that you ladies have that grow out of your armpits
Do you mean breasts Elliot?
Ummmmm . . . I don't know
You guys got those weird undees things that go over your 'Pitties'
Do you mean a bra?
You can't buy your Grandma a bra for Christmas
One day you start itching
Then your Pitties come out
Grandma bras on eBay
Our kids won't be having kids
Sure, Betsy
Can Kris leave the house without returning with a story?
Nope
Did you leave the house this weekend?
Yeah, I left last night
Two nerds sitting in a bar next to one another
Loud music, and communicate through twitter
I saw my friends this morning at the Goodwill opening
My video tape buyer shows up
He is great
He would be in a Thrift Score
I mentioned that I was doing some new stuff
He walked away from me
I wasn't trying to hang
I was trying to over do it
The best time to sell 9 1/2 Weeks
They will raid him and he is creepy
His wife thinks he's crazy
What are you doing wrong?
We are soul mates, Kris
Betsy's jealousy comes out
We had a hard week last week
Interviews are going great
More this week and some follow ups

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Wine Boone's Farm Wild Island Pitties James Brown Thrift Score

The haul

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 17:03:56 -0500

Here's the scores from our date:
1 build a bear
2 Caldecott book
1 Groovy Girl
Total - $2.11 and a lifetime of Goodwill for me.

Tags: girl groovy total lifetime goodwill gw2

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 04, 2007

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 07:37:52 -0400

Croncast - 2007-06-04.mp3
Show: #371
Length: 34:31
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 04, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Pick a post, any post to leave us a comment
Betsy starts the show by flossing with her own hair
Keeping in natural
Betsy gnawing on her hand
Kris says, "epididymitis" got his body part skin layers a bit off
Just swinging with the kids
Catherine the Great I am not
Why would you do that?
Are you kidding me
I've got the death march covered
I got a layer food to keep me alive for any miles long walk
Driving by all the closed down health clubs
They always open, they always go out of business
Locally owned and operated
Mega health clubs
Now the locals have signs like 27 months free
I asked who the hell would go there?
My dad
Le Beau's Health Club Aurora
Let the porn music play
Picture my dad as a tour guide
Using a lighter with your eyeliner
Le Beau's used to be in the country but now is surrounded by subdivisions
He would sit us down with a role of quarters
Maybe is just seedier in my memory
Mr. Le Beau comes on TV
We can't just keep open with the big
The leather bathing suite
I think it's great
I always thought Judy was fabulous
Cheated printed suede
Life Time Fitness is the one you are talking about
Everybody that joins gets a chubbiness check right away
The people come out with the pinchy things
It's fear marketing right your face
I know I'm fat, why else would I be here
They're telling you that you suck, you're worthless
And people are so sold on it
But if you work really hard you might be as cool as the receptionist
Waiting for the real estate class to start
She's 26 taking a stress test at Life Time?
Do you need another reason to hate yourself?
Lifetime is a fitness cult
They do it like other cults by getting into your head
Then they take your money and that of your other family members
And next is the indoctrination of your friends
Oh Mr. B
Busting my ass on eBay
No I'm not bitching at you
The Resale Queen post about the baby stuff
Jenny Rush rocks!
She stepped it up for the person here
Don't worry, Jenny Rush signed an NDA for our address ;-)
The first 6 months of his life she watched him during the day
Yeah, he had about 12 seizures today
Sure but it worked out because her son had the exact same type of epilepsy
He turned out okay, right Betsy?
Yeah, he became a doctor
No, he's gay
Kris, it doesn't get any better than a gay doctor son!
Who's gonna take care of you
If Elliot grows up and becomes a gay doctor I will join Life Time
What Jenny did was really cool
I am having that same sort of feeling that I had about 1 year into podcasting
There just is this network of people that keep doing things that we normally wouldn't be able to do because of proximity
Kris, this is the way that women take care of each other
All, I wanted to find was to find someone with a bigger trust fund than mine
And then I got you Kris
I got a trust fund!
A Folgers can full of Marlboro points up in the cabinet at my folks house
"You could have anything that you want baby, We're halfway to the pool table"
If I could hit rewind Bears
I would marry someone else, lived with him for 30 years, waited for him to die and then hooked up with you with his money
Oh, baby, I feel your bitterness
We go through the up periods and downs like everyone
Lately the introspection is a result of what great fortune has come to some friends
Their lives 3 years ago were completely different
For them it is a best case scenario type thing
Betsy is going to put her top 10 reasons that Naperville will change together

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Tags: Catherine the Great LeBeau's Health Club Aurora Marlboro points Folgers can Life Time Fitness

Betsy and her husband Kris May 18, 2007

Fri, 18 May 2007 07:22:15 -0400

Croncast - 2007-05-18.mp3
Show: #364
Length: 25:44
Size: 17.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 18, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Tickets for the live show in Naperville July 8th will be ready 20 minutes after this post
The comments are getting light
Look at what I bring to this show
Kris please don't put "farm animal antics" in the show notes
It doesn't happen to other people it happens to us
Yeah, the searches are out of control
Some people serious help and the internet tells me so
Today's top search result might make you sick
Put down your sandwich, coffee or beaker
I am not going to type it in the show notes . . . these 9 words will change your life forever
It's not sexy or anything, it is rather gross and I can't get it out of my head
Here it is . . . now listen to the show at 3:28 to hear it
It's just gross . . . and why put "fanny" in it
It had to come from an old man, a dirty old man
The proper term from his day as not to offend
I don't get it
Kris I don't want to talk about it anymore
I do think Betsy
I've been married to you for 10 years . . . you rarely think
The search result came from something that had the words in it
Betsy is reaching a level of zero success and possibly negative at this point
I've been telling you for years to stop working with the subdivision people
The treat my baby like crap
These people don't want you around
They are all a generation ahead of us
They make jokes about things . . . they must be bands
The block party is coming
Give me a paper and it will take me two minutes and I will lose it
I signed on for the newsletter Mr. B not record keeping
Their is this weird power struggle going on with the home owner's association board
Weeks and weeks to come together
Lack of Betsy putting out the signage
No once cares more than a week ahead of time
Can you make sure she checks her email
This is your abusive relationship . . . your Lifetime show, Betsy
He is a very weak president
I don't get it . . . don't put that on his tombstone
The prior conversation that puts them at odds against Betsy
Open invitation to join the board
You should have gotten up and left Booba . . . called them on the carpet
Doing it all by yourself
This is our bunco
Coordinating not to bring double desserts . . . are you kidding me
Every subdivision party is drunken daddy's walking around with their coolers
This whole thing is dram for you . . . I am sorry for you baby
Betsy passed her first hurdle in the race to get her real estate license
She's got skills from all of our experiences buying houses and the legal issues
The semi-exploding furnace that left us cold for 3 weeks in 2003
What should I do with my live Mr. B
Liz is coming to garage sale with me
You raised me to be a beast
Betsy's suburban burnout
Garage sale wisdom

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
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Tags: block parties suburban burnout farm animal antics search terms home owner's association

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 05, 2007

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 07:29:31 -0500

Croncast - 2007-01-05.mp3

Show: #323
Length: 38:08
Size: 26.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 05, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Gary Shilts.
Well, "Big news on Friday" has turned into "Big News on Monday"
Betsy and a wise friend advised me against it for today, so blame them for ruining the fun
The blue thing staring me down
Turns out it is a dolphin, dolphins aren't blue
It's a kids swing
This color issue is bothering me
Have you ever hear that introduction before
You got it wrong Mr. B.
We would have this argument on some stranger's driveway
People couldn't handle it
Today's big news is that Betsy thinks I need to be her apprentice, nope
Betsy says that I can't tell the big news
You already gave it away Betsy in email
No one knows where we really live
Henry, the nerd posse
You have to give him a plug for his blog
Even though he's from Aurora we let him in
Drying your junk with an air dryer
You would think immediately that this is something would happen in Aurora
Well it wasn't
Thanks for the image Henry!
I know about your Habitat for Humanity
I am going on record, I have never messed the white powder
Unlike the Barack Obama
Betsy does not take this kindly
"They are dumping his stuff out in the public cause of his presidential aspirations"
What you're telling me is that Mr. Kris Smith was a worm farmer?
Who is 40 years old and hasn't tried drugs in their life
It's not he's Republican, every Democrat has done drugs
I don't understand this ideal . . . and Kris misuses the word "vestige" . . . I apologize
Happy rays come out of his eyes
Don't let him take his shift off then his love rays come out
Lifetime movies are TV teledramas purchased for $7.50 from a vault
Stranded on an island with a hot guy and her dork ass husband
We had to watch the movie because the starlet had big boobs, natural
Betsy is hitting the Black Box Wine again
I can see you doing what you do, Betsy, with any product
Dumpster diving does have real value
"I just got good at this," Betsy
Taking out the benches that could smash children
Watching the garbage man do his job
He has to think every week, "It's about time these people got evicted"
Getting teacher crap for the holidays
OK shows over

Tags: Lifetime movies Barack Obama Black Box Wine dumpster diving Gary Shilts

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 149

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 10:49:09 -0500

Croncast - 2005-12-04.mp3

Show: #191
Length: 43:51
Size: 30.1 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 149

Show Notes

Betsy all dressed up, well looking good
Fourth attempt to beat Maggie at screaming game
Elliot lost his head yesterday
Staying childless . . . wishing
The size of his head
This week at Goodwill
Size 8 suit for the man
It was for an 8 petit
Now he's got a size 12 suit
What size is a first grader
The holiday season picks up as donations increase
Tax deduction time
People want the DVD, you want the DVD
Two good weeks of shipping left for Holiday season
Kris with a "K' says perfect for Kwanza
There will be no Kwanza deal
Betsy will rock the open of Goodwill today
Nagging wives say clean up
Kris buys a PSP for his inner child
Ages 6 and up
I am in love with it, I have no games for it
Instead I have Beavis and Butthead Mike Judge UMD
Betsy still has tags from her inner child shopping spree
Watching "What not to Wear" and you realize you are the person
Zip up mommy fo-track suit
Advice for the Fluffy crowd
Waiting in line at the mall
Letting handicap people go first
Differently abled they are now
6'2 skinny women don't get the concept
Ladies up to size 16
Women start at 16W
W = WIDE
The differences are amazing
Sticking your finger down your throat if you're bigger than a size 10
Attack in the face with gold cleats
Betsy's Acne prejudice
It didn't dissolve into a crying session
Coming home in tears? Nope
Shopping for Carla
What brand is it?
You wouldn't sell a knock off purse
Up in the air about it
One size smaller
Regular department
The old lady bedalzed clouds section
"Your Area" for "Your people"
Blue hairs buying undies
The Ruth Maclellan line
What's wrong with blue hairs and apricots
Not caring any more
Stuff wasn't on sale at JC Penny
The trendy under 30 fluffy mommies
Betsy is fighting turning 30 next month
Spending $300 on her clothes
I buy her the clothes and Sean Paul buys my PSP
Buying before you have
Paul Wall bought me a new hard drive
Da Backwudz bought something but I forgot it
Sacramento, brown and cold looks just like here
It was weird but with homeless people
One homeless guy in Naperville
Token crazy homeless guy hangs at Goodwill
Trying on a town or city as a new place to live
Counting pregnant 12 year olds
10 most creative cities in America according to Fast Company magazine
Men watching Hallmark movies, wives don't tell people
"My husband loves Lifetime."
Crying together on the couch
Read the Hallmark cards at the store
Scrapbooking is the movement
Scrapbooking is fo the 3 grader in you who likes the funny scissors
Making websites is like scrapbooking
Helping Betsy become a rich old woman
Living in a gutter eating cabbage out of a dumpster
I will make a mutt stole for you out of a German Shepherd
The trophy row
The Hippie Guy not Latino but Italian
"You're the one who got away."
Five minute dating
Seven minutes in heaven is different than dating
Pushing We're Coming Over again
Reading the quotes from the back

Tags: size betsy people kris scrapbooking

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 114

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 05:49:10 -0400

Croncast - 2005-08-26.mp3

Show: #155
Length: 29:36
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 13.5 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 114

Geoffrey sends a special message with his support donation, "More sex, less dead dogs pls."

I'm with you Geoffrey, next time Betsy wants a story that I am reluctant to tell, I will switch it up with something slightly less horrifying like sex and us.

Show notes:

Betsy is showing up early to pick up man
Extension of credit for cosmetic surgury
Receptionist as example
Betsy rationalizes that she is taking care of Muffin
Geoffrey Zehler Foundation
Mike Nelson and James Miller foundation of red states
Al Franken does it up for the reds
Walking penetration
I now know what another man's belly feels like on my belly
The "we're bringing someone in to dance with us"
For every dollar I make Betsy spends three
Her eBay stash
No gas money, here's a hose Kris go get some at midnight from the neighbor
Actual conversation in the house due lack of reality TV
Restless Leg Syndrome - hello? Are these people serious?
Antsus In Your Pantsus Syndrome
Tommy Lee show
Three's Company has set Betsy up for a lifetime of bad television lust
Girl's next door
Being Bobby Brown - the real reality show should be the experience of the guys running the cameras and the producers
Bobby Brown is the example for not wanting to succeed
Dipthong lessons
I love outro
Pledge drive, support the show.

Thanks to everyone who has already donated!

Betsy is not getting her paws on this money.

Tags: betsy geoffrey croncast kris example