Milwaukee | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 20 Ep 18: You know, you don't have to call her your friend anymore.

Wed, 28 May 2008 12:43:20 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-28.mp3
Show: #493
Length: 28:21
Size: 19.5 mb
Format: mp3

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Good grief we are back
Thanks to Betsy for showing back up
You come back from San Francisco wearing my clothes
Up sidles a Wrangler wearing Milwaukee chick
She's checking me out
Of course she is
"So what are you doing in San Francisco?"
"I'm here with my friend."
"You don't have to call her your friend anymore."
The spandex blend is alive and well
You can look at Iowa from behind and know it's Iowa
The smell of Dubuque jumps off
The hills and the highway
I drive better than those taxi drivers
Don't look forward
You check carry on bags?
Yes, need to keep her creams and powders
The vacation schedule
The romantic cruise
We just wanted crab
The Russians followed me from Goodwill
Our waiter wanted to argue
Today, today it is my first day
Crab comes with nothing?
No one comes between Jeanie and her side salad
Dungeness crab is a mud spider
She called me a hot mess in Cantonese
We end up at a tea shop in China town
White hippie chick running it
In sweeps hippie number one
She's totally a trust fund baby
Character after character after character
You can make tea from anything
Why didn't you stop and ask a homeless person?
I didn't realize you were green with dots . . . what the hell do you have?
Mr B, this is my town though
I knew it once I stepped off the plane

Tags: San Francisco Tea House dungeness crab wrangler pants

Season 19 Ep 11: Walzer A., Buffalo Days, The Coffee Drinker

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:51:22 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-01.mp3
Show: #457
Length: 26:13
Size: 18.1mb
Format: mp3

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The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

About the Wednesday show
We were recording and the phone was ringing off the hook
Call from Walzer A
So this is Wednesday's show
Yeah, it was your sister calling
Brother-in-law lost his job
And the three mother hens showed up at his house
I did not envy him at all
It is getting more and more crowded in this boat
Your mom told you that you need to take care of this
I couldn't think of a more depressing situation
I wouldn't have come home
I would have went out at 8 am and got a beer
Where? This isn't Milwaukee
I would have waited that shit out
You are telling me that I am a born leader
I was telling myself that I glad you all weren't here
This is how it goes down in my dysfunctional family
My entire life I have had to be the man
What?
You shoveled in the middle in a snow storm
You can't even tell you shoveled
Doing it repeatedly doesn't make sense
At 4:30 am our neighbor fired up his snow blower
Ridiculous
Some men wake up with motivation, Kris
What would you do if it were a chainsaw?
Then he started cutting down trees
Well, hell he was motivated
Oh, baby
I tossed pup pup in a snowbank
What for?
To send to the TV station
Are you serious?
Well, I did send it
The auto response email was "Thanks for sending to KABC 7 Los Angeles"
Your snowy dog will be on in LA
You dogs suck
Jorge would be restricted to humane society
Ass end up in a garbage can
That is what we should have called the Resale Queen show
Yesterday, I almost slipped and died
Good things that dumpsters are heavy
How come they don't shovel by them?
I am going to open Dumpster Land
A theme park for you and your people
The dangers that you face everyday
It can't be packing peanuts
There is no Calvin pissing on nothing
What stickers would the truck have?
Did the new trucks ever roll out to La Moille?
I though i shouldn't ask because it would be sad
There was a time that they did come out
No one can tie a knot in this town
Ending up in the county jail
Swanson's baby
Onions in the peas
They came to town for Buffalo Days
The quaint small town festivals in movies, lies
There's no tax base to support that
Basketball game in a gravel pit
I grew up across from a buffalo pasture
Did you ride buffalo instead of ponies?
Did they chain them to a claw foot tub to slow them down?
From kindergarten to graduation at 14
Let me run the tilt-a-whirl
I would be right there
Ending up with a corn cob in his bibs
Might be dangerous but in a small town that's fun
Being pulled on sled behind cars
Watching the console in a lawn chair
I have sat in the back of a Chevy and bounced across fields
We didn't do donuts in a Wal Mart parking lot
It was a small town
Ok, K-Mart
That would have been a 30 mile commute
I know you rode in the back of a pickup truck on the way to a K-Mart
Yes, I did
CB radios in those days, figuring out who the coffee drinker was
Your mom would have a handle

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: buffalo snowy dog LaMoille Resale Queen sledding

Frank Keppler keeps it fresh

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:41:48 -0600

Odds are high that you have seen Frank's work if you have gone into an Urban Outfitters, Nordstrom, Target or watched a movie or television show where a character was wearing a beer t-shirt, especially a Miller brand.

Frank Keppler is a graphic designer and co-owner of Brew City Brand Apparel, the company that produced the shirt you saw. Or better yet, that I see once a month or so in a store or on TV because I know what I'm looking for. Frank's designs are commercial but his style is unique and pretty easy to spot. He finds a way to even make vintage look fresh and contemporary.

I haven't spoken with Frank in years but I love his work.

In the mid and late 90's I worked for the Keppler's in Milwaukee managing their retail stores and seasonal set-ups like Summer Fest., a few years before they were selling large wholesale volume to anyone except Miller beer distributors. As there business has grown I often look at Frank's work as an inspiration. Why? I'll damned if it isn't one of the hardest design jobs ever to have beer and Milwaukee as your only motivation for twenty years.

Tags: Miller High Life Frank Keppler Brew City Apparel Milwaukee George Keppler

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 24, 2007

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:40:33 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-24.mp3

Show: #331
Length: 30:20
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 24, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by James Hously
Intro done partially without any effects at beginning and the rest . . . history
Betsy mimics the bird man intro to the detriment of our audience
You look like a bird, Mr. B
Yeah maybe a flightless bird
Bears, you look like a Red Breasted Booby-Knocker
That would be the name of the bird that I get to name
You would name them all that
Who's got the PhD in Birdology . . . ornithology
Oh back when it was rocks for jocks
The same depth of sag, that's why they got along
You're being really sensitive tonight
I hit 30 and have found some good friends
People in 40's, 50's say when you are in your 20's you don't know shit
What are you thinking Betsy?
Chill out Bears
We we're oh so dumb, what did we know?
Why did we get married . . . especially at 20 and 21
I don't remember . . . but love and all that
That is back when you were wearing the teal cummerbund
With the fuschia shirt
You could have fried an egg on that shirt on a hot day
I used to walk home from that job at 4 am
Did you turn down every fourth prostitute or every third?
I did get followed home one night
By who a manitute?
He was hoping for Ballpark and ended up with a cocktail weenie
We hit 30 and things started to change
Kris, you proved us all wrong
That is back when I was making pizza's at the gas station
That guy did me a solid . . . he set me up with my first computer job
He asked me what was up with wife being pregnant
Worked for them for five years
The reason that Kris doesn't get along with IT departments
He opened the door for me
The tow of Slowsky part two
Living in Milwaukee and the car is going to get towed
But sir it has "Just Married" written in soap on it . . . "So"
Read your medication guidelines for side effects
I'll share most of it

Tags: manitute Red Breasted Booby-Knocker ornithology PhD Slowsky part two casino cage Volvo of Lisle

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 10, 2007

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 06:43:35 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-10.mp3

Show: #325
Length: 31:27
Size: 21.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 10, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Tara Rester.
What is this new thing staring me in the face
It's a horse for American Girl Dolls
Not made by American Girl but by Battat
More stuff about American Girl vs. Battat that passes Kris right by
More big blue stuff
The dolphin got shipped off to Alabama
Yeah, because they don't know that dolphins aren't blue
Betsy's secret birthday wish didn't come true
She wants a picture of Mr. Handsome (Zeus, the dog)
Two pictures under that corrugated clear plastic where you move and the picture moves
You know the ruuu ruuu ruuu stuff under your finger nails
Out of the ether Betsy's hero called . . . Ben the handy man
I love him in the way that any woman loves a man that can fix things
Bears, you're just lazy
It's my birthday, get your ass over here . . . that's great
The handy man technique of quote then never show back up or call
Once they are kicked out of the next county they come back
They can't take Betsy's personality
It is her wit and intimidation
Maybe I did make you sound like an asshole for tearing a whole in my shower
What was he thinking with duct-tape and a Jewel bag
Sharing a bathroom for a month with your mother-in-law
Duct-tape in my own shower . . . you bet
Then my husband tells me no on speaker phone
Living in Milwaukee
Crazy guy asking the police if they masturbate
Betsy says, "I could live in Milwaukee forever"
Oh, I am never going to Menards with you again Betsy
Blame the mommies they have gas too
Send Betsy a Blue Mountain card at thesmithmall@hotmail.com
She's 31

Tags: Tara Rester American Girl Dolls Battat horse duct tape shower Betsy Smith

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 04, 2006

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 07:04:48 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-04.mp3

Show: #258
Length: 36:29
Size: 25.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 04, 2006

Deep voice slow intro
Deluge lately of email
Betsy's email at hotmail is the best way to get her to respond
Best way to get a response is to leave a comment for us at the site
I did some math today . . . 300th Croncast will be November 10, 2006
It's two days from my birthday
Show 299 will be the two year anniversary of Croncast
What should we do for our 300th show? Leave us a comment
I want to see Mr. Bear bump and grind from belly dance lessons
What is a video camera?
We could do a best of, listener best of . . . a collective
Stepping on the baby bunnies funny and offensive at same time to people
Betsy can understand stepping on bunnies
Running over her husband all over his head
How can you compare a cheating spouse to a baby bunny
Women got the evil gene
Your kind of women
Betsy claims to be tired
"Bear, can I drive your car"
Slowsky seems to be having issues
Please tell me you didn't hit somebody
Betsy goes on a "house walk" in Plainfield
What you get for your money
The whole thing is an advertisement
"If you have to ask you can't afford it" . . . bullshit middle class notion
Polite middle class people don't talk about money
Instead they spend their time speculating and gossiping
Kris has had it with Betsy's embellishing when it involves him in a story
He asks her to tell the truth . . . "Yeah, you're right."
She crushed me after last Friday's show
Don't act like that is super cake for you
"It's not my fault that you fall victim to my manipulation over and over again"
If you don't ask you will never know
Betsy says asking about money is tacky
It's all about being in power
You just don't it . . . Kris disagrees
Name that situation
Back in Milwaukee
Bars in basements
The high risk personality
This could be our 300th episode . . . calling Betsy on her shit
She changes the subject
Betsy in a polyester Panda shirt
The Gumby bunny (story next show)
California was a terrible place to raise children
The prison gig and taking your kids with you
Kris is doing well
Anyone who knew me 10 years ago probably thinks I'm hanging gutters in Florida

Tags: Croncast Mr. Bear Betsy Smith evil women Milwaukee

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 02, 2006

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 06:08:29 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-02.mp3

Show: #234
Length: 20:09
Size: 13.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 02, 2006

The long, feel good intro
Lots-o-email been coming in
Too many to respond to in a personal way
How does Aberaham Lincoln taste
Buying shorts at Target
Everything is designed for 18 year old boys
The perma wrinkle shorts
Say hello to Lands End kris
Kris is on diet and losing weight
"I'm not going to weigh myself"
Bagels are actually really bad
Food cessation at this point
Hey I'm going to go shoppng in the JR's department
For the portly over 30 set
What's athletic fit? Damn it! The shirts don't fit either in XXL!!
10 years ago it would have worked
Designed for the six pack now you got a two-liter
None of them fit they are filled with lycra and youth juice
I can't go anywhere without seeing the Milwaukee guys stuff
Beer merchandise everywhere
Their stuff is on TV like twice a day
I did find some perma-wrinkle cargo shorts
Short and pant leg length rant
If I can see my socks there is a problem
Losing site of little Kris
Turning myself into veal
Congratulations to Nick Guarracino and his wife on the birth of their son George!!
I got mics, plenty
Betsy shuts down the idea of recording on vacation
We can record crossing Iowa
Slowsky's shape for the trip
Kris can't wear the old man shorts or coaches short, only options
Even the lesbian gym teachers wear coaches shorts
The debate over what is more pathetic

Tags: Target shorts vacation Slowsky Betsy Smith Kris Smith

Betsy and her husband Kris May 29, 2006

Mon, 29 May 2006 09:53:47 -0500

Croncast - 2006-05-29.mp3

Show: #232
Length: 17:33
Size: 12mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 29, 2006

Super short show and no show notes today the show is all about Slowsky.

Also we forgot to mention during the show, but had a note to thank all of the people who have fought for this country and currently are. Thank you!

Now where's a veteran that I can hug?

The procurement of Slowsky in pictures from driveway to driveway by Kristopher Smith, novice.

This one deserves a caption. I got lost and Betsy wasn't happy about the delay in picking up Slowsky.

Tags: slowsky conversion van Comet Cafe Memorial Day Milwaukee

Betsy and her husband Kris May 05, 2006

Fri, 05 May 2006 06:41:18 -0500

Croncast - 2006-05-05.mp3

Show: #224
Length: 35:29
Size: 24.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 05, 2006

This is a production of Palegroove Studios
It's Cinco De Mayo
Celbrate your heritage if you're a honky (May Day)
Gatherings at Socialist Monuments in Milwaukee
I miss Milwaukee
One of these days and we'll cash in an move where it is warm
Parking the car in slush and then it freezes to ground, only in Milwaukee
We can only go where the bus goes
Tiny little Honda Accord
Small cars are chick cars
Backlash against the SUV
Ms. Kitty comes to visit
Driving the Scion xB
It looks like a toy in the garage
The Yaris (we call it he Yaro) makes the Scion look like and Expedition
Lach Walesa
We should have went to Bobak's
Bobak's is an authentic Polish grocery store
Food Network voted it best Deli in the world!
Chilean Sea Bass has a former name, changed it an now they are almost extinct
We gotta name another kid, not gonna happen, but giv'em a killer name
You just can't name your kid Sushi
What is on tap for the weekends
I watch a lot of TV because you hide in the basement
Listening to your baby cry
Wad the kid in a ball for safety like a hamster
Working all night and here we are doing the show
I need my car, autonomy baby
Friends? You've got to be kidding
Take your nerd to lunch
McDonald's central office down the road
Nothing tastes like school pizza
That Sodexho flavor
City wide garage size
Who calls a photo copy a Xerox? Someone who hasn't had a job in 7 years
The Honda Element
Ebay horror stories

Tags: Palegroove Studios Milwaukee Bobak's Sodexho Chilean Sea Bass

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 71

Wed, 04 May 2005 08:15:50 -0500

Croncast - 2005-05-04.mp3

Show: #112
Length: 13:56
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 6.3 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 71

Today's show is pretty short. We had to get out of the house early this morning so I could be to work at 12. What? Why so early? One car living in the suburbs traveling the opposite way of the train will do it.

Back to the Body Worlds Expo, Betsy goes back to her guilt over missing snack day because it is Mother's Day Tea at school, DebateGod podcast uses a clip from our show www.debategod.com (haven't listened to the clip yet, hopefully it is still in context), the baby not sleeping well, what the Goodwill Goody Winner may get as the winner of the contest, my hatred for stretch pants on Milwaukee women and the man wants breakfast.

Goodwill Goody Contest Continues

1) Send an email to betsy@croncast.com with the word "Contest" in the subject line
2) Write a couple sentence bio about yourself
3) Betsy will print out all names and put them in a cookie jar
4) She will pick one name
5) Grand Prize - Betsy will be your personal Goodwill shopper. She will interpret your bio and buy you an appropriate gift for Goodwill value up to $9.99 (You could end up with a waterbed or car at that price) and ship it to your home or business.

Tags: betsy croncast goodwill contest car

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 64

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 11:04:03 -0500

Croncast - 2005-04-18.mp3

Show: #105
Length: 25:40
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 11.7 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 64

Today's show brings more car jokes and a special focus on the one scary bar in Milwaukee that Betsy give a great description of. And evidently it is current, look at the comments for this show from pokeys.

Tags: croncast betsy kris ep husband