Naperville | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 20 Ep 20: Photos, Old Shuffling Posse, Professional Tic

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:25:15 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-06.mp3
Show: #495
Length: 30:25
Size: 20.9 mb
Format: mp3

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Oh, the 2008
Comments on the photos
I'm a what?
You're a good amateur photo taker, Bears
I never made it to the sweetest Goodwill in the world
When was that?
San Francisco, it just wasn't meant to be
Look at you all up on the Oprah stuff
I got my eye on those celebrities
I knew today was going to be a great day
Because the Lutherans were having a sale
Garage Sales are euphemisms for "Party on the Driveway"
You were benevolent enough to babysit
It is either a ghost or an alien in front of me
You should be so lucky
Space Ghost!
You can convince me of anything
I got to the sale kind of late
The guy from the furniture tent comes out an yells
That we can hop into a new line that is shorter
I was torn
They can have stuff in multiple questions
I think you will reach a point, your peak of sales skills
We should freeze dry you at that point
Then revive you in the future when the dollar is strong
It will be like a time machine
Betsy, you bring it
The dollar is still strong with the Lutherans
Double check the luggage later
I stand in line to wait for the dishes
I need my fine china fix in their housewares sections
I brought bags and I have adrenaline flowing in my limbs
Oh, look, Christopher Stewart
This is when I started to look like a nut
Started?
Slow shuffling old posse arrived
Those match my dishes
I love those
Are you going to buy those?
I am now just to spite you
You wasted my time with your story
They're rookies baby
You are con-garagies
They send the 12 year old anemic boy to help me carry stuff
She's now a professional tic
She went and bought speakers from Farm and Fleet
I love it, speakers from Farm and Fleet
I am sure you are related to people that duck taped their heads That is the truth
Duck taping down his pants
Especially when fired up the chainsaw
The tape suit
Class issues really stand in your way Mr. B
"Transvestite's getaway car ran over good Samaritan's foot"
Words make the world magnificent

Tags: Space Ghost Farm and Fleet speakers Lutheran sale Naperville

the big mac of mcmansions

Sat, 31 May 2008 18:28:48 -0500

this hulking mcmansion sits on a public cul de sac that is part of a 4 way intersection of two semi-busy thoroughfares.

the folks that are building this have some signs on the right to the effect of, "Respect our privacy, please."

This monument to ostentatiousness could benefit from a sign that reads, "Respect our privacy, plebes."

Tags: mcmansion naperville no trespassing privacy signs

from walgreen's with love

Sat, 17 May 2008 11:01:16 -0500

i have rationalized that a conservationist teenager tossed this cart into the river for small marine life habitat and not the thrill of launching it 15 feet down and embankment in an act of drunken joyousness.

ahh, to be young in naperville.

Tags: embankment feet launching thrill act

Mad Crazy Static

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 11:50:28 -0500

Took the kids to breakfast and then the riverwalk this morning.

Maggie wanted to see the ducks and Elliot wanted the park. Got them to agree that both were good.

I do have to say that it is quite a disappointment that the busiest portion of the riverwalk with be under construction for the entire summer.

I'm not really sure what the city parks people were thinking with this. It is going to hurt the businesses that are in that area as well as the amount of people that come to festivals that are held in that exact spot.

And since I have my gripe on, it also appears that for the remainder of the riverwalk they have removed about a third of the trees and nearly all of the other foliage that lines the banks of the river. Elliot pointed out that this year it looks "gross" and "dirty". Just blows my mind that a city would muck up their prime summer attraction.

Tags: naperville riverwalk summer rennovations 2008

Season 19 Ep 9: Casey's Bags, The Breakups, Groups of two

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 10:44:44 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-25.mp3
Show: #455
Length: 26:05
Size: 18.0mb
Format: mp3

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The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

You know the comments have been light
You haven't been on Kris
People said they loved the mono story
But that shit was a total downer, Kris
You can't keep going parking with those ladies
I lived out every Bruce Springsteen song, ever
Small town birth control: Casey's bag
Some hostess snowballs and a bag
You date leans over and says thanks for the birth control
Who wants to buy condoms from their conservative cousins
She thinks you got long johns and condoms
We actually went out together
Sure I hadn't left in two weeks
It snowed a foot of snow and the road was open
Our driveway looks like a demolition derby
Still has your parked car on it
I had a dream about running for Treasurer in Naperville
We won't be selling the car
Betsy, right now
Small web job saved it for now
The big things are next
Things are turning around for you Mr B
We went to Silicon Prairie
I hate that name
I love it, Kris
It could be changed to Farm Hand Geeks
Or even Country Coders
The had Rock Band and that was fun
Sure, Dave Bost and Larry from Microsoft were there
They are Microsoft Evangelists
Why don't you have an xbox?
I don't spend money on games
Get a rhumba from Goodwill
They're charging more than eBay
It's even first generation
So you get on Rock Band
My first band broke up during the first song
You guys sucked
But then you moved to the lead singer
You nailed it
Do you have "Short, short man by 20 fingers?"
You have such a love for old school Chicago house
The same drum
Can I clue you in to rock
The same song for the last 30 years
It's like ick, Kris
House music is all about feeling good
Did your mom just happen to be on street corner in Davenport, IA?
It's not a boob without nipple
Yeah, it's all cleavage without it
Not really
Good, when I see you come on stage I hate you
Better, to know that you hate yourself too
Now lets have some fun
New curriculum for ever class
That is not the school you want to go to
Betsy, you are too dirty
Yeah, news flash
I have all these shows for you to point out what's wrong with me
My checklist is all filled in
Tomorrow: Resale Queen Podcast by 9 a.m. CST
Topic: What you need in your resale kit
Shout out to Yoosun Lee in NYC

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: Rock Band Silicon Prairie Dave Bost Microsoft Evangelist Davenport

Season 19 Ep 7: Resale Queen, TV Lifting, HustleBuck

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:17:29 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-21.mp3
Show: #453
Length: 27:14
Size: 18.8mb
Format: mp3

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The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
The first show went up Saturday
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST
Wasn't painful at all was it Mr B?
Yes, it was
It was like every first podcast
Got to get used to doing it
High I'm Betsy HustleBuck
Number 42 for the Naperville Dumpster divers
Part of Local #42 Dumpster Divers and Junkers
You should ask the people come to their houses just to pick it up
I want to buy an AmVets truckload of stuff
Sure it would save you the sifting
You could get gold bars are used Hanes
Buying a truckload?
Disturbing
Asking me where you are going to put it . . . leaves hope
It took 8 years for you to ask
Join me on the dark side Mr B
Where do I sign up to be a HustleBuck?
I had my party last Saturday
Yep, your improv people were in the house
Natural reaction is to show compassion toward animals
You enter a home and the owners are there
It is instinct to be nice to their animals
No matter what they do
Zeus was not leaving any alone
He's like a cross between a Roomba and a guest that won't leave
Yeah, he peed on her
Of course he did
She touched his ears
Her highly absorbent sock was full
Offer her a sock
What?!
Is this a McDonald's playland
You need the dog whisperer
The vet said some dogs just do that
In the animal kingdom that is a highly desirable trait
He tells you how great you are by peeing on you
You should breed him and sell them to comedians
The mess that the dog left
You were waiting to see how close I was
I am surprised you shave the back of your head
Why is that?
Because you can't see it
Unintentional dreadlocks
That is the story of my life
Kris, you take too many photos of strangers
And then you get all weird with angles
There's always a magic shot
But it is weird
Not really
You need to not rat them out to management
I have to have some recourse Mr B
Yes, you can lift the TV
Baby, I can't hold it
It was like a Tom & Jerry cartoon
If he could focus I would have asked the man
Anyone would lose faith
Maybe you did save my life, Betsy

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: roomba Resale Queen hustlebuck improv party McDonalds Playland

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 03, 2007

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:32:34 -0600

Croncast - 2007-12-03.mp3
Show: #441
Length: 33:28
Size: 23.0mb
Format: mp3

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Note: Something was off with the sound level on Betsy's mic in today's show and I didn't catch it until it was too late. Content wise, well, they all can't be winners.
Welcome to December
Ron Paul is taking Naperville by storm
If Rick was here this wouldn't be happening
Tell me why Iowa gets to pick the best candidate?
I dunno
I don't have a better answer
That is what I am talking about
It's needed for the parties to have a race and for the media to have a news cycle
Live blogging from a combine in the field
I like to see how far away I can find something to listen to
I didn't chase it on the quad
The law of the land says you gotta sit in the tree
It took 10 men and new named jr. to kill a deer
Are we gay or gangster tonight?
Oh, baby
Iowa matters to the candidates and the media
It's all bunk
Did you now just hear me?
They got the world's largest truck stop
You totally agree with me
My path has been illuminated Mr. B
My inner gyroscope has stopped spinning
Don't fall over
I'll talk more about our perfectly good babysitter
You need to bring it
She looks at me and says are you the comedian?
Are you the model?
I'm paying to learn how to be a comedian
If I were a doctor I would me doing bush medicine
Is there a big expectation to be funny?
There is always a standing expectation that you'll be funny
Brunch, play date, dinner or church I have to be funny
You're like a young Don Rickles
I saw him again, the Starbucks stalker guy
At church I had to follow two cases of breast cancer but I still slayed them
You're mom comes home
"Can you believe I had to go to three stores to get a dog sweater?"
Uh, no
The fact that you didn't have to go to 80 blows my mind
She dressed him in a rain coat
It wasn't a rain coat Kris, it was a fisherman outfit
We're thinking about doing another live show

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Tags: dog sweater Starbucks Ron Paul inner gyroscope Don Rickles

Ron Paul - Big in Naperville

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 13:19:35 -0600

I took this last weekend in downtown Naperville.

There are some fervent Ron Paul supporters in Naperville. I would say more so than any other candidate I have seen. It's not just the stickers everywhere but the signs in yards, major and minor intersections and along the busiest roads.

He might not be getting much press right now but he's got an awful lot of mindshare among drivers and pedestrians in the downtown.

Update: Thought I should mention that this wouldn't be so if Rick Klau were still in town. We'd be thinking and seeing Obama everywhere, all the time. That wouldn't be such a bad thing. The Naperville Dems could use him about now.

Tags: Ron Paul Naperville downtown Naperville Ron Paul Stickers

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 26, 2007

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 08:16:14 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-26.mp3
Show: #438
Length: 32:06
Size: 22.0mb
Format: mp3

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Your dad sent an email from India
He wants to know what a 'post' is
Any content that is in the site
Kris commenting on Besty's cooking and sharing it with the world
I want to talk about the convalescent home that you knocked over
Where do you get clothes like that?
Betsy's Thanksgiving redemption with turkey dinner number two
Betsy role plays the judge at our divorce proceeding
We didn't share that
At Costco, because it is the only place I can shop
What are we here for?
I was in charge
How about we do another turkey?
Getting right back on the horse
Betsy avoids conversation
Somebody's gotta keep a cap on that stuff
All berries are the same
Not my Barry he's special
I cannot stand watching love scenes on TV
They all creep me out
It's even worse when they are elderly
Referencing the list
Betsy is wound up
Behold, this is what our listeners want, Kris
Made by hand by Goodwill Industries employees
Everyone could use them
And we get to pick the scent
How are the commuters going to hand that on the train?
On the antanae of their Treo
The nice thing about the air freshener is it keeps on giving
Very interesting, I'll take it back to the committee
Dino from improv university
He can get them cheaper
Brought to you by the people who brought you Aquadots
I did a photo essay, live blog or our Goodwill date
Photos start here
Watching you was like watching a manic woman
It was an experience
No one needs hot food
It should all be warm
I will own a restaurant someday called "Warm"
We were being followed
He was working downtown Naperville
The guys was a thief
Sure, Kris, he was just shopping
Not so close behind me
Maniacally stirring your hot chocolate to cool it down
Sure, when Whole Foods opens
More like Boulder every day
The man was up to something
He was undercover officer, Kris
He was picking out people who didn't fit . . . and it was you
Does his fleece say "North Face or REI?", no captain
Follow that man
Book nerds are the original nerds
The Bolingbrook thing is ooking me out
Yes, that Bolingbrook with Drew Peterson
The missing Stacey Peterson
In the last week I have gone by 3 groups of people looking for her in the woods
It is strange, simple strange
How your first memory impacts your entire life
What is your first memory Betsy?
Hitting strangers with a broom while they sat in circle
You are crazy
I poked my cousin in the head with a shovel once
You played basketball in gravel

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Tags: North Face Aquadots air fresheners hot chocolate Bolingbrook Petersons

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 19, 2007

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:46:14 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-19.mp3
Show: #435
Length: 34:52
Size: 23.9mb
Format: mp3

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Baby, I been 33 for a week and realized something
You are beautiful
You've go a style all your own
Did senility set in?
You've got the reverse mullet
I need to get this woman a PBR
You got the part up front and business in the back
A very serious paradigm shift
So sorry for you sucka
You gots to see the business coming
You have requested I sell everything I own
Mine, my stuff
I bring up your rings
What did you tell me, Betsy?
Yeah, whatever
You can get your second wife bigger rocks than these
Diamond guns
I'll have diamonds falling out of my shirt sleeves
And now after taxes we can live off of it for a month
Spending money breathing
Garrick said, "It's expensive to wake up in the morning."
Paying to get through the day
Gotta get paid while you sleep
People do buy it now while I am snoring away
We bought ourselves a little time
Thanks to Chris Brogan, Rob Shore, John C Havens and others for leads
Head over to Croncast.com and check my resume
Oh, what are you doing?
Big stress doesn't lend itself to thinking about the holidays
His TV is buying a doll and a fruit tray
I'm queen of the wives
Speaking of this
Evan and I got into trouble with this last week
"what do you wives do?"
We said "Naperville" the wives don't work
I could be making $10 slanging slurpees
And you would still be at home
We could get a Jaguar gift certificate
Maybe the Volvo should disappear?
I called ChildServ to see if I can get on schedule
Back to my story
I was Christmas shopping
I am not going buy anything Made in China
Especially not a doll
What?
Have you gone all blue collar?
They'll poison your toothpaste and feed you Aqua Dots
I don't get this
I buy retail once a year
It's ok if it is gifted to Goodwill and you get it?
Hell yes
Even American Girl Dolls are made in China
So I am working this doll tip
You can't find any dolls that are not made in China
Betsy is out to change the world
She has always been fascinated with China
Chinese history books are all over the house
I grill Betsy on it as she avoids
This isn't about improv
I think the Cultural Revolution were interesting
I am trying to make this easy for you to understand
Olympic questions next
It'll be fine as long as no one gets pregnant
Dexter on Showtime has been great this season
WGA strike
Screw the studios . . . these writers should get on with it online
Thanks to CaptRespect and MacGeek for support!!

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Tags: made in china Naperville Goodwill CaptRespect MacGeek WGA strike

chit chat kitty cat

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 13:53:34 -0600

this is my favorite shot from the trip downtown naperville today.

living a few miles away helps make trips more frequent but i saw something different in the downtown today. for some reason i chose to focus on the window graphics/art and the reflections of other downtown elements.

also was a good time with elliot.

the 11 photo set is here.

Tags: downtown focus window chose reason

barber shop framing dos

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 13:53:20 -0600

this is my second favorite shot from the trip elliot and i took to downtown naperville today.

the red, white and blue doesn't come off as patriotic.

my favorite framing of this logo by far.

Tags: favorite framing blue white red

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 07, 2007

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 07:56:51 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-07.mp3
Show: #430
Length: 31:18
Size: 21.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 07, 2007

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Kris nerds out about comment spam
Not all the comments are on
I gotta shut those people down with their Ultra Canadian Pharmacy
What is wrong with you?
No one wants to hear that
It's just creative advertising, Kris
This is getting super interesting
You've dropped a lot of your nerdisms
You aren't weird around girls anymore
Just because people are turned in your general direction
Well, it doesn't mean that they are listening
Betsy breaks down her improv auditions
Betsy is freaking out
I told you how this would go
Did you bring your headshot and resume?
Right, my resume that says CEO of internet startup TheSmithMall on eBay
See, you didn't think that this was real work
No shit, it is competitive
It was valuable
I crossed it off with a china marking pen
It was pretty much like the Wheel of Fortune Chicago auditions
My sister told me not to wear my generic broken Crocs
I looked down and that's what I was wearing with no socks
That is prepared Betsy style
At that moment I didn't feel that together
A guy show up in a Simpsons t-shirt and a trench coat
I see that guy and hit the floor
Nobody move, nobody get hurt
Another chick came in frazzled with watered down eyeliner
A totally Deep Fried Blonde (DFB)
That's their problem not mine
What age range can you play?
I just put 32
You're supposed to put what ages
Every time I fill out an app - White Hen, Hardees, Ben Franklin
I could have used you as a wing man
I have talked about Mike from Second City
You just prefaced it with that
Teaching there, holy shit
The fourteen stages of improv
It's all part of the shtick
Then they go through what we are going to do
I just want to go home and watch Desperate Housewives on dvr
What was your first car?
Chevy
What kind?
Silver
And they all started laughing
I wasn't trying to be funny
Now I gotta do these setups with strangers
It went well
You are in improv boot camp at The Comedy Shrine
Naperville is holding it down
I know Mr B . . . people across the country they have working toasters
The person in the chair is the mall information booth
I am always thinking of disposable goods
Where do they sell RID at the mall?
Betsy gets cut off
The person in front of me is the Deep Fried Blonde
Her teacher didn't come from Second City
She starts a god damn conversation with me
She wants to shine
All she was supposed to say was aisle three
I started behind the door
They said don't do that
"DFB," one word would be fine
Betsy, do someone foreign
You have to get creative
Foreign to Naperville is what I brought
I was way better on the way home
You are obsessing about this
I helped build you up
You are the most competitive person that I know
Betsy, you just have to stick with it
That is the key for you
I would think after 11 years of marriage you would know when to shut up
I am just wondering why to do this
The audition freaked me out
I knew I would be with professionals
While you are doing your audition I took the man to his doctors appointment
The nurse was treating him like he's managing his health care
Sure, like he set it up
He's lost weight and not grown
We've taught him some better eating habits
Here's a fruit party platter
She's leaving and asks him if their is anything else
He's talking non-stop
This is a lot less
"Elliot is there anything else you want to share," goes the nurse
"There is something else," Elliot
He looks right at me and says, "My mom says things to my dad that makes him really angry"
"She says really mean stuff," Elliot
Buddy, it might be a good idea to refrain
On the show, but he doesn't listen
Picking up probably on the hairy situation here in the house
Sure we all have stress and tension
Your mom and I are best friends
One of those moments
Then the kid asks, "Why am I in a foster home?"
Tomorrow, is the 3 YEAR CRONCAST ANNIVERSARY

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Tags: Second City The Comedy Shrine Deep Fried Blonde Hardees Croncast