PBS | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 19 Ep 4: Volvo Petting Zoo, Butter Dish, The Wheel

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:20:21 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-14.mp3
Show: #450
Length: 38:50
Size: 26.7mb
Format: mp3

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New intro music keeps on rolling along
Posts are the items in the site
I think you lost dad at upload
That could be the catch phrase from a nerd movie
"You had me at upload"
Having the love of a nerd is like that of a Golden Retriever
The red in their eyes
Like the bloodhounds
We'll get your's fixed someday
You can get side by side
And then I'll get you plastic surgery, the both of you
We do dis and dis, but not dis
I should have bitten his face
We took the dogs to the groomer
Changing deaf dogs name every three weeks
What does it matter?
You know what happens to 15 dogs right?
Sure, they die
No
The dog is walking around with cancer and a 13th nipple
Dog groomers should know better and look for lumps
The number one thing that gets skipped is the finger in the butt
No one wants to drain a dog
Let fail you
Betsy likens web designers with Goodwill
The two handed dog shave
Like she was swinging a bat
The last time they cut off a mole
It was like a half-dollar size
Don't feed her by hand
She wants to even the score
How many times has this dog been to the pound?
Thirteen times
Mom is nuts when we go to vet or groomer
Sure, your dog is big and he pees on your knees
When we hit the door little deaf dog freaked
I didn't realize she was that aware
Of course she is
Then my mom takes on the trauma of the dog
I know from the Dog Whisperer that is not how to act
The dog wants someone to lead
First of all, she's deaf
I want you to write that in big block letters
She needs to be drained, I can tell
Then she feels guilty for bringing in the dog
I know how this goes
Then my mom will decide to put the dog to sleep
It only has one duty . . . eat what Maggie drops
I swear Shih Tzus were designed to catch spaghetti on their head
Just do what is least invasive
Gonna put in a Jarvik .021?
In six months we'll be Shih Tzu shopping again
Your mom is the Kevorkian of the dog adoption world
I got Wheel of Fortune auditions today!!
I know you are so excited
The sounds you were making when you got the email
If I win money I'm buying a goat
This here is the only petting zoo in the entire nation delivered to you in a Volvo
Designer outlet mall parking lots would never be the same
Two dollars, don't touch my goat
You need to be comfortable
What not to do
I was freaking because I thought from your yell something was happening
Sure, like Maggie went face first into a hot stove
Nope, just The Wheel
Eeyor tells you how to overcome your fear of success PBS special
What happens when Betsy is on and knows it?
You get too over the top . . . just catch yourself and reel it in
Kris, quit with the analogies
I say this as your number one fan
I have been there for every party where you hold court
You'll be fine
Marcus hits my cart
He says, "who the hell are you?"
I ask where the butter dish is at
His reply, "Oooooooo oooooOOOO"
The manager walks up and taps me on the shoulder, "did you see that doll house?"

Tags: dollhouse Shih Tzu dog groomer butter dish Kevorkian

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 31, 2007

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 08:53:52 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-31.mp3
Show: #427
Length: 31:53
Size: 21.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 31, 2007

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It's Halloween here in the states
Betsy points out my illness of the past few days
It feels like something is eating my guts
Pop upstairs and see Betsy is watching PBS HD
That's ok to watch tears on PBS in HD, at least she is watching HD
The grieving process and death
How much more depressing can it get?
Dead babies?
Betsy how can you feel good after that?
Let me transition Kris
This was a transition you just didn't let me get there
Gotta bring it back for the people
The email for it was vague
What are we exactly going for
Not you, not you, not you
It's at the Rosemont Theater
Right by airport with turbine exhaust blowing in our faces
Downwind of O'hare
I put up some of the photos
Those are like Twitter questions
What did you put?
Podcaster
And it filled the whole thing
The people, Bears, the people
None of them were excited to be there
What do you do?
Nothing
Who can't come up with something
Prepare!!!
Don't stand there it's not your mark
Turns out that at this, audition
There was no Pat or Vanna
Plumber pipe fitter
I like to do karaoke
That's perfect, queue the music, YMCA comes on
Merv says, 'no'
Energy drops right out of room
You gotta flow with it
I can see the pipe fitters doing the YMCA karaoke in towels at the lodge
Pipe fitters singing YMCA
I got nothing for it
If you get on stage you get a bobble head Pat or Vanna
That's another Croncast t-shirt
She's just a Wheel junkie
PBS nerds look just like me
No they thought I was the baseball player, Youka-something
They were like, "I didn't know you could hit with moobs"
I did a couple interviews with Tony Kahn and Gary Mott for Morning Stories
Hopefully it will get on
Thanks to Tony and Gary for hanging out and putting up with my podcasting talk
I'm feeling the venom here
Now I have nothing left on my life list but riding a llama
Llamenade serverd at 98.6 degrees

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Tags: Wheel of Fortune PBS WGBH Tony Kahn Gary Mott Morning Stories

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 05, 2007

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 09:24:12 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-05.mp3
Show: #418
Length: 30:21
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 05, 2007

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It's TFF . . . Tell a Friend Friday
Here's what we got going on
Tons of comments coming in
Today will not be typical show . . . we're reading comments
Lots of entries in my haphazard Google contest
Finding the ones that were for the contest were hard
Now we need to figure out who the hell these people are
Not like your legs are broken
Just your Jaguar
It is the saddest looking thing
Tags are expired, hood ornament torn off, license plate holder Magic Erasered and leaking oil
Did I mention I haven't driven it for about 3 months?
The voting at Blogger's Choice Awards is difficult
Thanks to everyone who visited
We're gonna read the comments and contest entries
Comment - You parents can find you if they want.
Saggy Balls 101 wants to party
Comment - No need for video
He's a purist, like a biker
I would do it as a three camera shoot
5 minute wrap up of week
Comment - The karma comment
I full well expect it
Since I didn't swallow the scope I am not on same page
After they listen to about 3 of these shows, guaranteed
We've had this discussion
Bottom line, I expect it and would respect their decision
Keeping grammy close enough to make things normal
You never cared about me
Let's move on before we bore everyone
Comment - Curl that gun hand into a fist
Comment - Kid getting picked on
Same thing that they were doing already
Mob of gigantic kids jacked up Captain Crunch and Cartoon Network
While he is eating his Kix and watching PBS Sprout
Not to say that my kids are any different
You were picked on as a kids too
Yeah, it made me funnier
Hope your kids use it as material later
When I wrote it on my folder I meant it
Grunge stick figures
You're psycho
Move forward please
Our whole meeting . . . there were many times
I would have caught you slow driving in front of my house
Lesson in beatup karma
The pom-pom squad is not the delicate flowers
Doubt there was delicate flower that hadn't been had in your school
Vickie got her ass kicked by this girl
What brought this on? I know you sister
I'm not saying that it was provoked
My parents came together and went to school
Vickie is now planning class reunion
She gets a hunk of the class list
I tried to find the girl . . . but couldn't after her last arrest
She was offering sexual favors at the court house to pay her tickets
Attorney's are perfect
There is no client, paternity privaleg
Comment - When exactly were you two cool?
Part of my psychosis thinking I have been cool since birth
Probably a social disorder
I proved that I am not cool by taking you to nerd convention
Elbow deep in the back of a goat
Don't you remember goat cervix bangles?
I invented those
My dad was on Montel
And my baby sitter was Cindy Crawford
People have know me for 20-30 minutes before I tell them
We both have a lot of self-confidence
We went through crazy shit together
Captain of the pom-pom squad is not cool
Maybe in Sycamore
They went to drink out of the cow tank

Contest entries - if anyone of these is yours leave a comment with your email and I will get back to you to get your address for stickers

We read all of these on the show and tell some stories in between

1) croncast geek star kris and smoking Betsy are you still doing that? How are you going to locate a winner? by name? Robert
2) kris smith a man who can survive betsy
3) kris smith a man who gets locked in the basement by his loveing family
4) kris smith living the dream in naperville
5) croncast rockin to van halen
6) kris, this is your mom, I have a knife to send to maggie! give me your address!
7) worm farm sex
8) croncast betsy cow print
9) croncast betsy loves dawn
10) croncast Kris -"How are you going to know who submits the search?" -Kore Peterson -"The first to leave a comment for you via google."
11) croncast Kris get out of the basement and live life
12) croncast Kris loves John Elway Dodge
13) pics of sweet ASS street racing cars
14) betsy hates blue hair death to dawn
15) kris, out of puffy cuff goodle ideas
16) puffy cuffs are sexy
17) nerd bearded kris
18) +croncast Leave the comedy to Betsy
19) (kris betsy croncast) -"The blubbery bald bear's brawny baby batter befouled the bountiful, bodacious, bouncing boobies of betsy"

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Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00

Tags: Cartoon Network Magic Eraser TFF Evo Terra goat cervix bangles

Grunge meets old rocker and strips lyrics for flannel shirt karaoke

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:49:37 -0500

At the end of last week I posted about PBS SoundStage with Peter Frampton doing a cover of Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden.

Well, here it is in its instrumental glory from YouTube:

Tags: peter frampton black hole sun pbs soundstage soundgraden instrumental

peter frampton black hole sun

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 03:30:45 -0500

pbs soundstage in hd has got peter frampton rockin pretty a pretty had soundgarden cover

Tags: peter frampton pbs

peter frampton black hole sun - via twitter

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 22:30:45 -0500

pbs soundstage in hd has got peter frampton rockin pretty hard on a soundgarden cover

i find it no more odd than chris cornell doing a michael jackson cover . . . say billie jean.

Update, here it is:

Tags: peter frampton chirs cornell billie jean michael jackson black hole sun

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 143

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 07:05:16 -0600

Croncast - 2005-11-01.mp3

Show: #184
Length: 37:48
Size: 25.9 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 143

Show Notes

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Betsy's eBay listings link

TheSmithMall

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Show intro
Betsy sings (this is what happens before every show begins)
I am Betsy's bitch
I make her air pop popcorn
Betsy has scaley feet
Betsy wants a pedicure
Putting up a picture of Kris' feet would get us thousands of hits
They would all be men pleasuring themselves until they find out that they are attached to a man with a beard
Betsy is ready to pimp me out instead of podcast
Creeped out spending the dough, dirty stripper money
Kris is still eating the same value meal
Men are too fat when they can no longer see penis in shower
Betsy is watching Oprah again, "Launch your own comeback"
Not wearing makeup
Princess Betsy with lipstick
Bird with plumage
Sexy male birds
Stuffing myself with food to not see penis to keep temptations at bay
Penn and Teller
Betsy's reality shows are now overlapping
Ulga's, Pink Cheeks, hair removal
The Girls Next Door, the Playboy show terrible name
The girls went to get waxes
Adult inside jokes in G and PG movies
Robots, "I get the Brazilian because it makes me feel like it is a fiesta everyday."
What happens when 6 year Ginny says that to her teacher?
PBS whoring out it's cartoon characters for cash
Euphemisms for bodily functions
Kris grew up next to the Montezumas
Kris gets the Hamburger Helper Star of the day
Keys, Cell Phone, Jumpdrive in the left pocket
Wallet, money, change in the right pocket
What you don't know about people you marry until they reveal things many years later
Kris won't call for pizza
I do it for organization
Betsy is going to buy me a girdle so I can see junk again
Having an attack
Don't rock my pocket world
Divorce of the pockets
Betsy's cough for lingers from the sore throat
I'll eat it, but food with hair from the animal that it belongs to are way too gross
Eating a chicken wing and flossing at the same time
I try to Betsy kudos for her meal cooking and somehow it goes back to me throwing a man fit of somekind
Buying a can of Ragu from Walgreens
Reasons housewifedom have come to suit Betsy
Cleaning a house with two screaming kids
Short shout outs for the night, Betsy will get crafty with them for Friday
Croncast has the best listeners
Betsy can't tell me about the poverty book anymore
Female donations

Tags: betsy kris croncast pocket feet

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 72

Fri, 06 May 2005 09:20:43 -0500

Croncast - 2005-05-06.mp3

Show: #113
Length: 45:15
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 20.7 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 72

Today's show makes up for all the short shows this week. We recorded early in the morning because it is Betsy's Mom's birthday today and they were going to do nothing else but . . . go to garage sales and Goodwill. I think Goodwill needs to start kicking in a little sumthin sumthin for all the play we give them. Maybe not always positive on my behalf but atleast we can spell it right.

We discuss why Betsy enjoys conservative radio; well not enjoys it but gets fired up, sermon radio for neighbor humpers, the reference section in the Bible, miracle water on Comedy Central, Benny Hinn, the contest entries, Elliot peeing in the garbage can a few nights ago, bottom swatting.

Betsy feels like a total loser! She invited a mommy to her church the first time she talked to her. She feels really bad like she's an evangelist for the Universalist Unitarians. She really does. She called me once it happened and it was really funny for me.

We also talk about the "no sperm from gay men ban" by the FDA and the demotion of Army Reserve Brig. Gen. Janis Karpinski to Colonel thanks to a military judge not hanging Lynndie England out to dry for the Abu Ghraib business, Kris's asymmetrical bald spots on his head "looks like you flew headlong into flypaper and tore yourself loose", what Betsy has learned from Drag Queens, the epilady spring loaded hair ripper outer and how Betsy got revenge in 6th grade against all the other girls who picked on her.

Goodwill Goody Contest Continues - Ends Monday!

1) Send an email to betsy@croncast.com with the word "Contest" in the subject line
2) Write a couple sentence bio about yourself
3) Betsy will print out all names and put them in a cookie jar
4) She will pick one name
5) Grand Prize - Betsy will be your personal Goodwill shopper. She will interpret your bio and buy you an appropriate gift for Goodwill value up to $9.99 (You could end up with a waterbed or car at that price) and ship it to your home or business.

Tags: betsy goodwill croncast contest kris

Croncast - Kris goes solo Ep. 10

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 12:10:52 -0600

Croncast- 2004-12-06.mp3

Length: 21:00
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64k
Size: 9.62 mb

Croncast - Kris goes solo Ep. 10 is general nerdery, a bit about the music business and PBS Frontline. Mixed with all of the shout outs and plugs for podcasting and podcasters.

Today's Show

Intro
Kris remebers to give URL's
No special for today, Friday
PBS HD Frontline "the way the music died"
The wrong and how podcasters can help fix it
Plug the Podfly.com and Gary Bibb
Podcast.net redesign, newbie friendly
Podcastalley.com redesign and forums
In studio with Broken Vegas
Music industry dollar advances - hint: walk away
The formula
What's up for this week's shows

Tags: music croncast kris pbs redesign