Pink | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

this is how a lady eats a bagel

Sat, 17 May 2008 10:57:15 -0500

notice the pinky to the left at the 120 degree angle.

perfect form for bagel eating.

Season 20 Ep 16: Sellers Hate Hoarders, not the Game, Golf Stance

Wed, 14 May 2008 07:20:58 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-14.mp3
Show: #491
Length: 19.7
Size: 28:40 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy "Classified Ads" Smith
That is your new name
You're like silly putty
Let me see your palm
I guarantee that their is an ad transfered to it
Did I see a Happy Mother's Day Classified ad?
Nope
Did I sleep on a floor for you?
Mr B I am going to kick your ass
I don't want to hit golf balls
Then I win by default
You are very competitive
My brilliant delightful wife made it rain golf balls
I thought it would be like a coffee machine
I wanted a cute paper basket with a handle
The second of the idiots is now here
They should put up a sign
There was a sign I am sure
Based on how you played it should be bright pink
You are so full of crap
I couldn't put my arms around you
Resting in your schwetty palms
A boy at the disco
You missed the ball completely
Then I got it dialed in
I was the winner no doubt
The driving range isn't on my to do list
If you had one we would have been doing the next
I am a bald man, I don't need to be sleeping on carpet
The divets on my head were too much
I won't make you sleep on the floor
Call you Betsy "Lemon Juice" Smith
This is my super bowl weekend
Where is the sale this weekend?
Bears, 23 consorted sub divisions all at once
They have a consortium of sub divisions?
Yes
Betsy now reads the classifieds
Leaving your boxes on the driveway
Somebody is going to steal them
UPS picked them up
Are you sure?
What are the rules?
You show up first and the item is your's
They might share a bag Gardetto's
You have done this to her
Bird Lady I am going to get you
I am going to walk around with

Tags: silly putty classified ads sub division consortium

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 08:58:34 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-12.mp3
Show: #421
Length: 30:19
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Tell a Friend Friday!
Tell'em all about it
This is a rocking show . . . starts slow, Betsy is sick, but fires up
Thanks Mexico Mike/Susan, seriously?
Proxy commenters need not hide
User your real information
I know who it is, Bears
Who?
You mom
She got a WebTV
Through a proxy
My perfect job would be the skipper on a boat
The skipper of a sailboat
So, I went and bought a Jamocha shake from Arby's
Now I want to throw up
Speaking of Goodwill . . . Mike and Liz just had a baby today!!!
Congratulations to the Marusin's and Poppy Ann
Wait until you get your Goodwill gift
No way Kris, I will them something nice . . . like a store display
Going to Ben Franklin to get some paint
Unless a blind person comes and runs their fingers over it no one will know
We are really talking about a $160 present
We should get them something new
Yeah, Kris, we will get them some diapers
You need not to nerd out on strollers, explain
Why don't they call it the platform stroller?
You can sit or stand . . .let's call it the platform stroller
Special place for them to hold on
They always want to stand in the cart
What kind of vitamin deficiency makes your skin fall off?
I mean like peel on your hands
One year of hands down the pants
Baby!
That is all about moisture, Kris
Maybe you need to get sick more often
Improv round two started last night for Betsy
Not just the core group, time to move on
Betsy and her ego
I love, love this class
Yeah, it is controlled psychosis
You are nuts
The crazier the people the better
Crazy people find each other
Giving off the crazy vibe
You find out later you have it in common
Kicking it at Bar Louie with my posse
I can't believe you are still going back
Of course I am
You don't want to profit from my sexual harassment?
This is your joint now . . . your cheers
They listen to the show now
My mom paid children to teach me to ride a bike
I don't know if I ever told you this before, Kris
Told me what?
I was born dead
What?
I was blue and not breathing
That explains a lot
What else you hiding from me?
Object work in improv
They reply to me . . . "It's not a radio show"
Well, let them come in and try this
That's right . . . dead air bitch
When is it a good time to bring up being born dead?
I don't know.
Who are you? Where is my wife that was born alive?
The doctor left with a blue baby
Came back with a pink baby
Don't go to Arby's and buy a Jomacha shake

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

STICKERS!
Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00

Tags: Jamocha shake Poppy Ann Marusin Goodwill improv psychosis Bar Louie

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 23, 2007

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 09:19:08 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-23.mp3
Show: #341
Length: 28:24
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 23, 2007

A little late, a little under the weather
Do you need your inhaler?
I had that last winter not this
I'm surprised that you don't come home with an 8 inch needle
Wrong site surgery type issues
You can only put this behind his knee
I won't even let them plug him in
You would go in for an appendectomy and come out without nipples
You never heard Pink Floyd
The Wall was built up as such a classic but
The brain doesn't function the way is used too
It's all down hill from here
My pores are getting bigger
Double and triple hairs coming out of the same follicle
The cure for cancer has been put off a day
Betsy reads the email
No more Croncast while loading agarose gel
It does contribute!
Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Betsy is going to take real estate classes!
I am so proud of you
So here's my LSAT story, Bears
Can I have that cross-stitched and hung on the wall
No being able to sell murder mcmansions is like being locked out of goodwill
I'm not like Donald Trump . . . I am keeping all of my hair
Early morning TV is quite possibly the prime example of our civilization's decline
Maggie counting with Sesame Street
Elliot has never been engaged by television
I was pack him a little hobo bag
"You can't hit your sister when she goes on on the potty!!!"
Don't forget that we are taking off the month of March
Send us an email . . . come up with some things that would make Croncast better for you
Nobody likes Dr. Phil and no one wants to be married to him

Tags: Murder McMansion LSAT testing appendectomy and come out without nipples agarose gel civilization's decline Pink Floyd

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 20, 2006

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 06:30:44 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-20.mp3

Show: #316
Length: 33:01
Size: 20.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 20, 2006

Today's show is brought to you by Jason Corbett
Looking across at Betsy
She looks like she is 5 minutes from rehab
She's wearing a black wife-beater with no bra
Baby, are you ready to party?
I'm back from the battlefront
I'm not sure what volumizing foam is
I was off to be the world's best slightly damaged reseller
Formulating a plan with her apprentice Vicky
What do they go for on eBay?
The hooker references run thin
The day started off on a bad foot
Maggie wanted to know why she's not in a cart
Who are these well behaved babies?
Kate Spade garden tool holders
Dooney was the next stop
I was prepared, I had done the research
I have never seen you look like this . . . beyond disheveled
Trying to look like a mommy
Isn't professional shopping illegal?
Every woman on the face of the earth is technically a professional shopper
They know people do this . . . they sell more units
Maggie looks around and lets out a primal scream
Carry the baby out in a duffel
It appears that someone stuffed my baby in a duffel bag
Pacifying the child with treats
Goodwill experience is that all the items are for play, not Dooney
Maggie loves purses, pink and tacky pink Dooney's do it for her
Cookie in a bag
We have this plan
Do you think that grandma would like this wristlet
It's day one and Kris gets to say I told you so
Everything that was there that was good is gone
Yep I get to say I told you so
Out of Dooney and over to Coach cause the plan is failing already
Whole store 20% off
But the items sell in store for the eBay price
Coach purse creed
Fakers usually don't bother
Betsy changes the subject to the Wii
I am sore from the Wii, Betsy
The tennis is really awesome, I'm halfway to pro and I haven't left the basement
Who else get's you to do something three times a week
I some domains . . . I forgot this on the show, thanks to Craig's idea
Here's the video

Fat people listen to me, a fellow fat person
Seeing the side profile in a mirror
Rick was almost knocked out with my man wings
We're going to try to lose some weight
You just called me fat
Here's the doman . . . www.wiiarefat.com (ready saturday)
You're tricking me into blogging again Kris
I love your plan, small favor I expect payment
Betsy wants a nanny
Kris, you can pick the nanny
You might be the only woman on the planet who tells her husband you pick the nanny
Yep, pick a hot one I don't care
Seeking one nanny willing to get implants, paying minimum wage
Do you trust the minimum wage sitter?
Terrible parenting, I'm not going to talk about it (not our parenting)
She can talc down my man wings
They are man lumps
Kris reads the inch comment email that came in
You gain an inch for every 30 pounds, this lady is happy
Special meaning to pinch an inch
Two people are enjoying those extra inches

Tags: Dooney and Bourke outlet Coach outlet wiiarefat.com Kate Spade garden tool holders professional shopping

Routing synapses: Portable Media Expo thoughts

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 10:46:55 -0500

It has taken me nearly a week to find some time to sit down and write about this year's Portable Media Expo. My brain takes so long to process situations that when you stack about 200 new situations right on top of one another my synapses begin to flutter a bit like a dancer dropping it likes it's hot. If you missed that analogy just turn on MTV and watch any rap video to see things dropping and gyrating.

So as this stuff has shaken out in my thought process I keep seeing the faces of those I shared some words and grub with . . . Nicole Simon, Garrick Van Buren, Greg Cangialosi, Mark Chernesky, Rick Klau, Eric Olson, Paul Figgiani (Paul got a hug), Tim Bourquin, Scott Fletcher, David Lawrence, Frank Barnako, Holland Cooke, Giovanni Gullacci, John and Erin Paxton and Craig Patchett (he told us not to drive Slowsky).

On the social side there was Evo and Sheila, Dave Slusher for 3 mintues on the way to his seesion (I think the best session of the Expo) . . . damn, that is the end. I should have hung out more!

New train of thought, thinking of my sessions I wanted to thank everyone who attended especially the 40 or so people who showed up for the one on Saturday at the Portable Media Expo. There I met some great people with podcast consulting and production motivations like myself. It was fun to share how you too can loose a client like MTV Networks and how you can gain a client like Alltel and produce for NFL players.

The take aways from the Expo are varied for me. It was a great time to meet and hangout with other podcasters and listeners (Tom Davies you rock). The meet-upability of the Expo is hands down the biggest reason for attending if you have been podcasting for some time. If you are new to the community then I would guess that the Expo was probably extremely overwhelming as the sessions popped off and the social component took hold.

I can't say that I was really disappointed by things but did have some low moments:

1) Pink spandex at the Marriott and the wood inside
2) Being told repeatedly that no one in podcasting is making any money (Ahem, because you're not doesn't mean that others aren't)
3) Rehashing the same discussions that have been going on since the beginning

Now that I have my memories in some semblance of real activity and spared you the personal details of many of those interactions I want to say thank you to Tim, Emile and the PME staff for producing this event and allowing podcasters to be themselves . . . pink spandex shorts and all.

Tags: Portable media Expo PME pink spandex Alltel

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 143

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 07:05:16 -0600

Croncast - 2005-11-01.mp3

Show: #184
Length: 37:48
Size: 25.9 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 143

Show Notes

------------------------------------------
Betsy's eBay listings link

TheSmithMall

------------------------------------------

Show intro
Betsy sings (this is what happens before every show begins)
I am Betsy's bitch
I make her air pop popcorn
Betsy has scaley feet
Betsy wants a pedicure
Putting up a picture of Kris' feet would get us thousands of hits
They would all be men pleasuring themselves until they find out that they are attached to a man with a beard
Betsy is ready to pimp me out instead of podcast
Creeped out spending the dough, dirty stripper money
Kris is still eating the same value meal
Men are too fat when they can no longer see penis in shower
Betsy is watching Oprah again, "Launch your own comeback"
Not wearing makeup
Princess Betsy with lipstick
Bird with plumage
Sexy male birds
Stuffing myself with food to not see penis to keep temptations at bay
Penn and Teller
Betsy's reality shows are now overlapping
Ulga's, Pink Cheeks, hair removal
The Girls Next Door, the Playboy show terrible name
The girls went to get waxes
Adult inside jokes in G and PG movies
Robots, "I get the Brazilian because it makes me feel like it is a fiesta everyday."
What happens when 6 year Ginny says that to her teacher?
PBS whoring out it's cartoon characters for cash
Euphemisms for bodily functions
Kris grew up next to the Montezumas
Kris gets the Hamburger Helper Star of the day
Keys, Cell Phone, Jumpdrive in the left pocket
Wallet, money, change in the right pocket
What you don't know about people you marry until they reveal things many years later
Kris won't call for pizza
I do it for organization
Betsy is going to buy me a girdle so I can see junk again
Having an attack
Don't rock my pocket world
Divorce of the pockets
Betsy's cough for lingers from the sore throat
I'll eat it, but food with hair from the animal that it belongs to are way too gross
Eating a chicken wing and flossing at the same time
I try to Betsy kudos for her meal cooking and somehow it goes back to me throwing a man fit of somekind
Buying a can of Ragu from Walgreens
Reasons housewifedom have come to suit Betsy
Cleaning a house with two screaming kids
Short shout outs for the night, Betsy will get crafty with them for Friday
Croncast has the best listeners
Betsy can't tell me about the poverty book anymore
Female donations

Tags: betsy kris croncast pocket feet

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 14

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 13:18:44 -0600

Croncast - 2004-12-23.mp3

Length: 40:33
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64k
Size: 18.5 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 14

Today's guest is, well, co-host is Betsy . . . still pregnant and in control.

Today's Show

Intro
Kris is asthmatic
Get used to the inhaler
Betsy's pink eye has subsided
The eye lock
No presents for Betsy, yet
Amber jewelry
Goodwill gift certificate for Betsy
Attempted shout outs
Betsy and the cleaning ladies
What 30 year old guy is cleaning houses?
More inhaler
Jorge (our columbian cat) sleeping on baby stuff
Other peoples family photos
Kris is socially retarded
The schnoodle
Muffins bad childhood
Kris has to kill Muffin's half dead loot
We're all gonna be that dog
Albuterol and water
Sure you don't have asthma
Always telling Betsy what she can't have
Marlboro sponsorship for nurses
Kris is pregnancy police
See a dog shoot it
Ricky Lake paternity tests
Betsy's ticket into gay America
Kris' ticket into biker America
The Free Bird funeral
The biker 21 pipe salute
The disease, he's dead, fuck Reagan
Middle name's all Victor
Fighting with cops
Don't mess with the Boss Hog
Betsy was in FFA!
Put your fingers in the chicken vagina
What you learn in Ag class
Kris feels bad about he uncles
The 5 minute wrap-up
Betsy hates the blue glasses . . . you tell Kris

Tags: betsy kris croncast biker husband

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 13

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 22:20:26 -0600

Croncast - 2004-12-18.mp3

Length: 41:27
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64k
Size: 18.9 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 13

Betsy and Kris are both still sick. This is a recording from last night that we were going to use as a "clean" show but we fail again and swear. We both cough a lot so just disregard it and chalk it up to the season.

Betsy thinks we need to be sponsored by an orthodontist so Kris can get his grill fixed. I am slowly warming to this idea of sponsorship. I make reference to Dave Slusher from Evil Genius Chronicles and his sponsorship from iPodderX in this podcast and used the wrong phrase to describe it. What I meant to say was that I thought he would be one of the last people to choose to have a sponsorer. But money talks and this bandwidth ain't free. Not that ours is anywhere near his level but I get it.

Today's Show

Intro
Time and date unknown
Kris mispells Gahran again
Betsy says we need a sponsor
She wants Magic Eraser to sponsor us
Muffin shakes it out
Betsy has pink eye
We're both sick
The week of feedback
Betsy says, "emoticon"
What the listener say
Betsy's image
Shane at NOTM.org rocks the house
Betsy's new man Tom, no creepy song dedications

Living in the suburbs
The gay nazi
Bail out the fish pond
Northern Monatana Public Radio - WBUT
Comedy success = liquor
Packing it in
Maybe got a baby name - Evelyn Reed
Kris will do some shows with his brother
Pink eye, want a kiss
It's all about 1/2
From British to beautiful

Tags: betsy kris croncast sick pink