Puffy Cuffs | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 20 Ep 10: Transvestite Mennonite, MC Hammer, Baby Spiders

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:58:26 -0400

Croncast - 2008-04-30.mp3
Show: #485
Length: 28:03
Size: 19.8 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

I pulled a muscle in my back
My spider bites
It's a back wall injury
Like in the Mist
Where the privileged people are
At the Intercontinental hotel
I ordered my drink
You need to try it
Jaegermeister and Bailey's?
It makes me want to cover my ears
How much do they charge for that?
It depends
The bartender appeared to be a Stanford math major
How much do you want?
Top it off on the rocks, half Jaeger and half Bailey's
Well, we pour in ounces
I don't care what pour, just fill it up
When have you counted
You are an asshole
I'm not an asshole
How many ounces would you like?
What kind of question is that?
I would have turned you into a zombie
Was $30 a drink
Puffy Cuffs to a whole new level
She had already poured them
A mixer usually has small amount of alcohol
They should charge normally
I need to carry my own stuff
Buy a mixer full of ice to mix my own
You pay for the atmosphere
But most have to leave early to get to a meeting
$30 bucks a drink you better get some atmosphere
Turns out MC Hammer was hanging in the lobby
I missed it
I was three feet from him
He looked nothing like I would have expected
Taller than I thought
They have small man complex and work harder
Shaped like a potato these days
He would have showed all of his potato parts
He has an internet startup
It's like youtube but with dance videos
There's a new character on the scene at Goodwill
Who is it?
I don't know his/her name
What?
It is a Transvestite Mennonite
I had awkward pause seeking gender
I blanked
I needed to know boy or girl to return communication
You should do a back bend

Tags: MC Hammer the mist transvestite mennonite spider bite jaegermeister and bailey's

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 05, 2007

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 09:24:12 -0400

Croncast - 2007-10-05.mp3
Show: #418
Length: 30:21
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 05, 2007

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

It's TFF . . . Tell a Friend Friday
Here's what we got going on
Tons of comments coming in
Today will not be typical show . . . we're reading comments
Lots of entries in my haphazard Google contest
Finding the ones that were for the contest were hard
Now we need to figure out who the hell these people are
Not like your legs are broken
Just your Jaguar
It is the saddest looking thing
Tags are expired, hood ornament torn off, license plate holder Magic Erasered and leaking oil
Did I mention I haven't driven it for about 3 months?
The voting at Blogger's Choice Awards is difficult
Thanks to everyone who visited
We're gonna read the comments and contest entries
Comment - You parents can find you if they want.
Saggy Balls 101 wants to party
Comment - No need for video
He's a purist, like a biker
I would do it as a three camera shoot
5 minute wrap up of week
Comment - The karma comment
I full well expect it
Since I didn't swallow the scope I am not on same page
After they listen to about 3 of these shows, guaranteed
We've had this discussion
Bottom line, I expect it and would respect their decision
Keeping grammy close enough to make things normal
You never cared about me
Let's move on before we bore everyone
Comment - Curl that gun hand into a fist
Comment - Kid getting picked on
Same thing that they were doing already
Mob of gigantic kids jacked up Captain Crunch and Cartoon Network
While he is eating his Kix and watching PBS Sprout
Not to say that my kids are any different
You were picked on as a kids too
Yeah, it made me funnier
Hope your kids use it as material later
When I wrote it on my folder I meant it
Grunge stick figures
You're psycho
Move forward please
Our whole meeting . . . there were many times
I would have caught you slow driving in front of my house
Lesson in beatup karma
The pom-pom squad is not the delicate flowers
Doubt there was delicate flower that hadn't been had in your school
Vickie got her ass kicked by this girl
What brought this on? I know you sister
I'm not saying that it was provoked
My parents came together and went to school
Vickie is now planning class reunion
She gets a hunk of the class list
I tried to find the girl . . . but couldn't after her last arrest
She was offering sexual favors at the court house to pay her tickets
Attorney's are perfect
There is no client, paternity privaleg
Comment - When exactly were you two cool?
Part of my psychosis thinking I have been cool since birth
Probably a social disorder
I proved that I am not cool by taking you to nerd convention
Elbow deep in the back of a goat
Don't you remember goat cervix bangles?
I invented those
My dad was on Montel
And my baby sitter was Cindy Crawford
People have know me for 20-30 minutes before I tell them
We both have a lot of self-confidence
We went through crazy shit together
Captain of the pom-pom squad is not cool
Maybe in Sycamore
They went to drink out of the cow tank

Contest entries - if anyone of these is yours leave a comment with your email and I will get back to you to get your address for stickers

We read all of these on the show and tell some stories in between

1) croncast geek star kris and smoking Betsy are you still doing that? How are you going to locate a winner? by name? Robert
2) kris smith a man who can survive betsy
3) kris smith a man who gets locked in the basement by his loveing family
4) kris smith living the dream in naperville
5) croncast rockin to van halen
6) kris, this is your mom, I have a knife to send to maggie! give me your address!
7) worm farm sex
8) croncast betsy cow print
9) croncast betsy loves dawn
10) croncast Kris -"How are you going to know who submits the search?" -Kore Peterson -"The first to leave a comment for you via google."
11) croncast Kris get out of the basement and live life
12) croncast Kris loves John Elway Dodge
13) pics of sweet ASS street racing cars
14) betsy hates blue hair death to dawn
15) kris, out of puffy cuff goodle ideas
16) puffy cuffs are sexy
17) nerd bearded kris
18) +croncast Leave the comedy to Betsy
19) (kris betsy croncast) -"The blubbery bald bear's brawny baby batter befouled the bountiful, bodacious, bouncing boobies of betsy"

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

STICKERS!
Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00

Tags: Cartoon Network Magic Eraser TFF Evo Terra goat cervix bangles

Welcome to you hotel senor/When puffy cuffs attack

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 12:22:03 -0400

This is the type of lame stuff a guy without his family for a couple weeks does.

I'm actually out here for WordCamp 2007 this weekend. It should be fun.

I'll try to keep the mirror photos under control.

Tags: WordCamp 2007 Kris Smith hotel san francisco

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 12, 2007

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 07:59:21 -0500

Croncast - 2007-02-12.mp3

Show: #336
Length: 34:28
Size: 23.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 12, 2007

This show was brought to you by Roger Palek (Kris says, "Richard" sorry Roger)
It's been a while
When I was in Boulder I only recorded one side of the show, mine
The best fan representation of our show
How about dress up as a puffy cuffs and send up your polaroid
Mr. B you are so forgetful . . .we need of list of people who donated
I'm on it
This show was brought to you by Roger Palek (Kris says, "Richard")
Not quite on it
Gone all last week and I'll be gone this week too
Betsy, "Do you know what I learned to do this week? Live without you."
It was nice and quiet without you around
Four days later I was missing you
You want me to want you 20 minutes after you walk out the door
I'll be gone over Valentine's day
Picking up the ring that already is paid for
Booba, give me your run down for the week
Betsy's bad eBay week
Goodwill Kodak slide trays makes it not so bad
Magazine "Good" with Marc Jacobs
Social Activism and Culture Jamming
Sounds like those are people who shower . . . not your people
There were no slides in the trays
"Fall over the lake"
"West side of the cabin"
This was some boring as shit man
Goodwill has been bad . . . it has been so cold
What was awesome about it was that I left
When I landed in Boulder it 54 degrees
I could tan in that weather I'm so white
54 degrees and sunny could cause me to blister
I'm surprised that you didn't come home in patchwork pants
Didn't you have homeless friends in college?
NO
My roommate used to pick up guys off IRC circa 1993
Laying in the bunk bed drunk and stoned
This strange mans leans over me and says, "Think she's want to join us."
Madrigals all the time
She was a whore monger
Those chicks scare me
How Kris became afraid of dentists
I could lord over him with my OK teeth
You never smiled until
I didn't know what a habit was
That's why my teeth are rotting out
He was the pamphlet reader
Free clinic will give you a drug you've never tried pamphlet
Well it's time Mr B to get your teeth fixed
Tongue depressors to fix teeth
She ended up with braces anyway

Tags: Roger Palek Good Magazine madrigals culture jamming Boulder, CO homeless friends

The dairysnake has a home

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 08:53:06 -0500

Our podcasts can be boiled down to this career defining moment: QVC and puffy cuffs fashion shows.

Shawn M. has brought the dairysnake to life, so to speak.

It's a nice piece of work that he has titled, 'www.dairysnake.com'.

Tags: dairysnake QVC puffy cuffs Betsy Smith Kris Smith

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 29, 2006

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 06:51:30 -0500

Croncast - 2006-11-29.mp3

Show: #307
Length: 29:25
Size: 20.2 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 29, 2006

Don't forget you can leave comments at any time on the site
Okay Mr. B, it's hard to buy for a Puffy Cuffs
It appears that I am going to be getting my own QVC clothes for Christmas
You sound like someone who would wear Carson
Kris isn't sure about this
Just make sure it's all on one hanger, Betsy
I would choose not to wear
Betsy is a liar . . . here's the post we mention on the show
Back in the cave man days you would protect my seeds
EGL = Evil, Greedy and a Liar
Betsy just builds upon our lives
Betsy Smith and Kofi Annan cage match
It has gotten under Betsy's skin
It could be a woman
Somehow selling on eBay is evil?
It was all of things in Resale Queen that pushed him over the edge
Cabbage salad
No problem it bounces right off
If I am truly being taken as the Resale Queen I need to sell some stuff
Betsy was eaves dropping
The white swimsuit on a 10 year old . . . Kris doesn't get it
Betsy says worst idea ever
Another reality show idea from Betsy
Find an Elmo TMX in the next 20 minutes
If you were single Betsy no man would marry you with your eBay addiction
And she would drive an El Camino and a homemade plywood trailer
Nobody would bite me
Seller mad time
Time to thin the horde
Donations, donations and donations for the kids

Tags: Puffy Cuffs Mr. B QVC clothes cabbage salad plywood trailer

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 06:59:09 -0500

Croncast - 2006-11-15.mp3

Show: #302
Length: 35:56
Size: 24.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 15, 2006

Betsy drinks a 3 day old Clausthaler
Her shirt tastes like Golden Retriever
Another fake beer night on the show
The contorted face that yacking built
Betsy's mom comes to the basement for the first time ever
Kris has things to do and they're shopping QVC online
"I live with Michael", yes we know honey
Floor length fo-fur mink
Racks full of them at Goodwill
Betsy blushes through the entire story
It is such a thoughtful design
There is nothing that is fashionable with work 'reverse' in it
What a year? I'll buy it on eBay
Her mom already bought it from the TV version of QVC
Betsy's eBay skills
Crazed lunatics . . . oh the madness of the bargain gene
"I . . . I . . . IIIIIII . . . I have a shopping disease Mr. Puffy Cuffs," Betsy
Betsy is going to make my own Puffy Cuff shirts now
We finish each other's sentence
Kris is hanging in the car eating Arby's while Betsy shops Goodwill
Now it is time for Kris's madness
Walking out with a gigantic store credit
Microphone fiasco
Shut up, I'm having my little moment of I told you so!
Betsy unloads
Was a bit late since Kris already has reached his rock bottom
I'll be in San Francisco this Saturday for PodCamp West
Maggie has pre-school next year
Looking in the mirror and husbandry responses
Let me tell the people what I got at Goodwill today
Baby you just need me to be honest . . . an honest Mr. B
Kris, you gave me a wrinkle . . . look at this side of my lip
$100 bucks from Anonymous for the kids

Tags: Clausthaler QVC Coats for plus size Puffy Cuffs shopping rock bottom Goodwill toys

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 09, 2006

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 07:11:10 -0500

Croncast - 2006-11-09.mp3

Show: #299
Length: 30:55
Size: 21.22mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 09, 2006

LAST DAY TO ENTER 300 by 300th CONTEST - ENDS 11:59 p.m. CST
It's Betsy's two year Croncast anniversary!
She felt pity for me and my nerd type shows
Listen to our first show together
Booba wouldn't do it with me
Roping anyone and Betsy's desire to hear how much better it got with her
Doing all the shows in the last week
We'll send out the
Recognizing spousal work
Betsy got the ChildServ people on the horn and here's what we got
For now . . . until I am able to find time to make a cool donations page stuff here's the deal:

Send donations to - kris@palegroove.com or checks to:

Kris and Betsy Smith
P.O. Box 9690
Naperville, IL 60567

That is the skinny
Astronaut Dave my former college roommate
The busyness of life
Leaf sucking and not blowing
Life is show prep
Betsy needs a holiday learning session
QVC returns on palettes - Betsy's new nirvana
She wants a new raking outfit
The Queer eye shoosh
The Puffy Cuff shoosh

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: QVC returns ChildServ iPod contest Puffy Cuffs Queer Eye shoosh

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 03, 2006

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 06:30:33 -0500

Croncast - 2006-11-03.mp3

Show: #293
Length: 25:37
Size: 17.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 03, 2006

The puffy cuff fashion show is a reality
Betsy does up her QVC and I bust out my TailorByrd shirts (aka the ultimate puffy cuff shirts)
Kris's beard is outta control and Betsy didn't tell me
Betsy mistakes pun and analogy
She blames the cleaning product fumes
Zout has alcohol in it?
"Mixing Comet and Mr. Clean like the best drugs I've ever done. Except my toddler wasn't there and I wasn't in a bathroom"
Before the Bear's fashion parade Betsy talks about her dream come true and how it was crushed
Kris wouldn't know this because he didn't grow up in civilization
The greatest carpet company in the world
Hanging out in the breezeway watching Three's Company waiting for the commercial
Booba gets excited and then quite
Kris crushes her dreams twice
Some how you show in all of my dreams
Who is on the other line?
A sweet woman named Florine or Lorretta
She is a carpet warehouse in Cicero . . . not Bombay
Did she pick a great American movie star name?
Why didn't she sing the jingle before she hung up?
It's like waiting for the cable company
"Carpet the next day"
I'll be sitting on urine soaked carpet for Christmas
Ed is not the blue collar, named stiyched on his chest and no mustache like the guy in the commercials
Empire guys dolls in the Goodwill hamper
Betsy wants hotel carpet
"I want carpet that makes me feel lucky"
Everyone has boring carpet
One color carpet cut to different lengths
It's not like a swimming pool you retard
Yes, hotel carpet Betsy
I can make this carpet with my clippers
Why $.88 paper backed carpet isn't Betsy
Betsy is trying really hard to sell me on new carpet
I don't care about Ed from Empire or his carpet or his Escort full of samples
It is a syllogistic loop with Betsy's carpetdom
Simply fix the garage door opener for drama
10 minutes of Ed . . . You wish you got 10 minutes of Ed

Here Comes Puffy Cuffs in his TailorByrd threads:

Full blown Puffy Cuff with contrasting bling

The multicolor puffy cuff and Betsy's photo goal. It's too cold to puffy in Chicago now

Betsy says that I would like Oswald Boateng get up
Very anti-climactic fashion parade
You used to be happy with the orange tag items from the Target end cap
Just because it was on sale?
Ben Witt sends his thanks . . . You're welcome Ben
Ben was around B.B. (before Betsy . . . that's Ben's abbreviation)
Betsy gets no more cleaning products . . . she can't add and there are five examples in 1 minute
Kris gets called the ageist
I put this ageism on Betsy
Betsy's first stalker
Many more show in the next couple of days!

Tags: TailorByrd Oswald Boateng Empire Carpet (800) 588-2300 Naperville

Disaster on Puffy Cuff's Runway

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 06:18:01 -0500

Last night's Puffy Cuff's photo shoot and shirt wearing extravaganza were postponed due to a sleepy and resistant team member. The sleepy team member invoked the, 'I've been chasing children all day' clause in our Croncast production agreement.

Okay, we don't have one of those but man it would be helpful sometimes! The plan is to bring the photos and the rest of my puffy cuffedness to you for tomorrow's show.

Here is a sample shot from over a year ago of me rockin' the puffy cuffs, blue glasses and all.

Tags: Puffy Cuffs blue glasses Croncast TailorByrd Van Heusen

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 20, 2006

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 06:32:38 -0400

Croncast - 2006-10-20.mp3

Show: #287
Length: 33:03
Size: 22.7 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 20, 2006

Betsy decides to start shipping while the show begins
Then wants to divert attention
You don't want to talk about the naked camel in the desert?
I want to talk about the email
Betsy says, it is a surprise that we don't get hate mail everyday
The shipping continues
Sign up for the contest and then send hate mail . . . nice
Now you're a Puffy Cuffs
If it is really bothering you that much
"If you're engaged to a geek - break it off," Betsy
Saving driving directions to my phone instead of printing them out
The tape sound again . . . it is the sound of my life
The sound of my eternity
Postal priority mail tape
They quit making it
What am I going to use to wrap Christmas gifts
Betsy says she has big news
Betsy is going to hang with a fan tomorrow . . . Abbi Z.
Kinda gonna be in the area
Betsy is wired and over-thinking it
Betsy screwed up chocolate chip cookies
Not so sweet cookies
Abbi will eat them and smile
That's why we do it baby for the fans
Got rid of Slowsky
Better phrasing, "Off to the auction like a fat pig"
The Slowsky lowdown
Sister turned it down and now Betsy uses it for a trade on a car for her sister
If you can't sell something to Kris you should be fired
We got it good right now
Betsy, "I know you live like that. My darling the rapper."
The QVC clothes smell like old people
They pump the bags full of the odor
Too chubby to put a leg forward
Quality Value Convenience you need to shop it too
Compression garment for the abdominally blessed
Betsy hits a new low - recording QVC to DVR for later viewing
No high waist jeans at the store but Goodwill got'em
We're off to Boulder tonight
Maggie, Betsy and Kris are off that is the man will rock it out with grandma
The irony? Back to Colorado
Slowsky is worth more in pieces than as a whole
Zeus is getting fixed next week
Not just hate mail, only one, and many great emails and comments yesterday

Tags: Slowsky Goodwill pants QVC clothes Boulder priority mail tape

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 18, 2006

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 07:27:59 -0400

Croncast - 2006-10-18.mp3

Show: #286
Length: 29:54
Size: 20.5 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 18, 2006

Bobble heads for intro
I need more work
It's hard out there for a B
Being so hard on a B
What is the deal with Slowsky?
Should we trade it in . . . nope
Now Slowsky sits on the driveway
Slowsky is like a 8000 lb green lawn flamingo
Searching for the good karma
Smartly - is it a word
It was a good gesture and a valid option
Slowsky is a heapster
Skepticism whether it will last the week or not
Betsy is going to use it as a trade for her sister
Going for good grandma karma
Slowsky is in "Fair" condition according to Kelly Blue Book
They say Slowsky is a$2600 trade! Yeah right
Betsy getting it on in bill land
Stretching her fashion dollar
I swear I don't know what has been happening in our lives
Betsy is now shopping on QVC for clothes . . . what happened to us?
She's only 30, damn
Is it teacher wear?
Kris turns into Puffy Cuffs for a shopping smack down
Nothing is gonna match . . . wait it all comes on a hanger like a Gobot outfit
There is something that is happening that I don't understand
Spinning and crushed under the weight of a spinning black blob
An entire QVC universe
Betsy's other former old lady addictions and other diversions
Bingo with the blue hairs
Best place on earth, you can chain smoke, drink and smoke
"I knew I was out of my target age range when I saw the hypodermic holder on the wall in the bathroom"
Getting the old lady car
We expressed ourselves in the mid 90's and now we seem to be back living it again
The V70 looks like the old mid 80's Volvo wagon
Cute Swedish men in jump suits show up
Read her new post at Resale Queen
What is the age difference
The eBay lots that sit in front me off
Being cut off by a Prius (all Prius's except Mike's)
Volvo versus vulva

Tags: Slowsky QVC Volvo V70 Puffy Cuffs Gobot

TECH cocktail number two tonight

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:53:13 -0400

High functioning Chicago (and now Midwestern) nerds unite! I'll be heading to the second TECH cocktail tonight to celebrate my fabulous nerd lifestyle and rock some puffy cuffs.

The first TECH cocktail had a great vibe as it was the first time in a long time that the tech community in Chicago had come together to socialize and find out what others are up to.

I guess you call that networking, right?

I'm just hoping that this one isn't over-hyped and full of Web 2.0 blathering . . .wish us well.

Tags: TECHcocktail2 TECH cocktailChicago Naperville nerds

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 11, 2006

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 07:01:04 -0400

Croncast - 2006-10-11.mp3

Show: #283
Length: 43:13
Size: 29.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 11, 2006

We recorded this late last night and the energy levels in some parts are pretty low. I think the prime time for us to record is around 9 p.m.

Show notes:

Intro numero dos thanks to that low energy
Turn the dial?
Betsy has been sitting in the house for a couple days
Even though she went to Goodwill it was a bad day
People were packed in wall to wall
Wednesday will be worse cause it is old person day (Kris day)
Vickie was rockin' her bag that Betsy missed out on
Picking up the sister
Resale shop at 11:35 . . . and suddenly the rest of my day is gone
Betsy has been really grumpy last three days
She wants to push off a pier with cement shoes
The honest answer is she upset about parenting issues
When will you not be too busy . . . 2008?
That doesn't count as parenting
Aren't we paying off the final credit card next week?
There is always another bill, Mr. B.
Rick keeps finding ways to get on the show
Documentary about Betsy's uncle, Randy Shilts - Reporter Zero
We have to find a way to see this movie
Life is show prep holmes
"I can't believe that I have to look at your mother at Thanksgiving"
Flying back to the midwest and seeing the people at the airport
You know your terminal by your people
The new vast collection of checked shirts
Betsy gets to the punch line before me
"I don't belong with you people."
Betsy says they are 'Puffy Cuffs'
The nosey neighbor
Nobody will even know when you are dead without nosey neighbors
What would Kris be like as a native american?
Shirt, pants and accessories from a single hanger on QVC "Fashion Day"
Designed to minimize lumpiness
Heart shaped mommy pants in the rear
Why try to talk with the other mommies?
They are not our people . . . they are 10-15 years older than we are
Getting an iPass for the tolls as a birthday gift
Oh, that was casual clothing

Tags: Goodwill Reporter Zero Randy Shilts puffy cuffs Rick Klau