The Comedy Shrine | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 22 Ep 04: Closets Full, NYC, Old Art Teacher Garb

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 12:14:53 -0500

Croncast - 2009-04-27.mp3
Show: #529
Length: 34:43
Size: 31.9 mb
Format: mp3

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Back to the normal . . . sort of
The accidental finders
People searching for cul de sac goatee
People search for that?
We last left you with the heavy mood
That's not what we're about
We're about the laughs
And I brought a funny story
Evidently they didn't have
Keep on bringing it haters
This is from your psycho needy wife
Yeah, hey loser in Fremont, we will continue to block you
Two-thirds of the opportunities are in the NYC
Start-ups are on a short life cycle
Whole life transformation . . . from cul de sac to walk-up
We have lived a city lifestyle before
I just want to have the ability to get another gig without moving after this
We have a lot of listeners in the New Jersey
Figuring out the trade-offs
Closet smoking in the garage
I need to stop that
If you want to have an f'ing discourse ping me
We're 85 percent sure that this is the path
You need to stop watching SVU
Every private school kid is committing the crimes
Mommy is an art dealer
Daddy is an architect
They are never around
Caught in the hot tub
The funniest shit happened to me
When doesn't it
I go outside the comedy shrine to have a smoke
And I locked eyes with a completely naked man
He looked at me like I had infringed his naked time
Was there a reason for him to be naked in his Escalade
This is prep for NYC
I feel like I'm just trying to be normal
And then there is the naked guy!
What time of day was this?
Noon
What was he doing?
I don't know!
You can't help but look at naked people
What do Republicans do at lunch hour?
They have naked time in their car
Rub their nudey butt cheeks on the seat
This had to be a hook-up
A bad Craig's List story
You could write SVU
It had to be Craig's List
You gotta give me the details
He also had hairy shoulders
The clothing party

Tags: Escalade naked man NYC SVU Craigslist

Season 22 Ep 04: Closets Full, NYC, Old Art Teacher Garb

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 12:14:53 -0500

Croncast - 2009-04-27.mp3
Show: #529
Length: 34:43
Size: 31.9 mb
Format: mp3

Tags: Escalade naked man NYC SVU Craigslist

Season 22 Ep 01: The problem with show business, Restless leg syndrome

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 14:32:14 -0500

Croncast - 2009-04-15.mp3
Show: #526
Length: 29:05
Size: 26.7 mb
Format: mp3

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Living the dream
Betsy back at it with Goodwill and plates again
Heaping pile of plushies
Chicken wire can't be used in medical
What have we learned?
You could do a killer silk flower arrangement
I would crush you, Betsy
The components I would have
Sneaking a cigarette
It all works together
Wait till you see what I am going to do with it
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Away from here . . . that was it
Ending up in the t-shirt biz
It was a great time
I meant the Chump gear guys
Always wanted to be somewhere else than where I was
Restless leg syndrome
Rehashing the past
I had no idea
And I have no idea now
The junkin' comedian
$40 pay checks from the comedy shrine
The funniest was the awe that filled your dad
When?
When you said you were thinking about getting a job

Tags: silk flowers goodwill plushies Chump Gear restless leg syndrome

Season 21 Ep 19: Comedy Shrine, Tiny orbit, Keeping it Croncast

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 12:40:17 -0600

Croncast - 2009-03-06.mp3
Show: #519
Length: 30:28
Size: 28.0 mb
Format: mp3

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Betsy's opening night went of without a hitch!
Every Thursday night at The Comedy Shrine, Naperville
Using Kris as a prop during the show
How is that not like the rest of my life?
Big changes in the Smith house . . . again
And when isn't it big changes, Kris?
Always, Croncast moments

Update: Missed the Evo Terra note. Sharing is truly caring as even as @evo_terra gets his toes did. Sorry we missed this one, buddy!

Tags: Comedy Shrine Laugh Time Betsy Smith croncast moments

No show today

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:43:20 -0600

Hey guys, pretty sure you figured this one out but there is no show for today. Things around casa de Smith have been pretty nuts since Monday and for the immediate future it will probably continue.

With that said, you can expect a Friday show to follow Betsy's opening night at the Comedy Shrine here in Naperville. I'm sure it will follow our example of 'life is show prep'.

Tags: Comedy Shrine Naperville Besty Smith improv naperville

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 07, 2007

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 07:56:51 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-07.mp3
Show: #430
Length: 31:18
Size: 21.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 07, 2007

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Kris nerds out about comment spam
Not all the comments are on
I gotta shut those people down with their Ultra Canadian Pharmacy
What is wrong with you?
No one wants to hear that
It's just creative advertising, Kris
This is getting super interesting
You've dropped a lot of your nerdisms
You aren't weird around girls anymore
Just because people are turned in your general direction
Well, it doesn't mean that they are listening
Betsy breaks down her improv auditions
Betsy is freaking out
I told you how this would go
Did you bring your headshot and resume?
Right, my resume that says CEO of internet startup TheSmithMall on eBay
See, you didn't think that this was real work
No shit, it is competitive
It was valuable
I crossed it off with a china marking pen
It was pretty much like the Wheel of Fortune Chicago auditions
My sister told me not to wear my generic broken Crocs
I looked down and that's what I was wearing with no socks
That is prepared Betsy style
At that moment I didn't feel that together
A guy show up in a Simpsons t-shirt and a trench coat
I see that guy and hit the floor
Nobody move, nobody get hurt
Another chick came in frazzled with watered down eyeliner
A totally Deep Fried Blonde (DFB)
That's their problem not mine
What age range can you play?
I just put 32
You're supposed to put what ages
Every time I fill out an app - White Hen, Hardees, Ben Franklin
I could have used you as a wing man
I have talked about Mike from Second City
You just prefaced it with that
Teaching there, holy shit
The fourteen stages of improv
It's all part of the shtick
Then they go through what we are going to do
I just want to go home and watch Desperate Housewives on dvr
What was your first car?
Chevy
What kind?
Silver
And they all started laughing
I wasn't trying to be funny
Now I gotta do these setups with strangers
It went well
You are in improv boot camp at The Comedy Shrine
Naperville is holding it down
I know Mr B . . . people across the country they have working toasters
The person in the chair is the mall information booth
I am always thinking of disposable goods
Where do they sell RID at the mall?
Betsy gets cut off
The person in front of me is the Deep Fried Blonde
Her teacher didn't come from Second City
She starts a god damn conversation with me
She wants to shine
All she was supposed to say was aisle three
I started behind the door
They said don't do that
"DFB," one word would be fine
Betsy, do someone foreign
You have to get creative
Foreign to Naperville is what I brought
I was way better on the way home
You are obsessing about this
I helped build you up
You are the most competitive person that I know
Betsy, you just have to stick with it
That is the key for you
I would think after 11 years of marriage you would know when to shut up
I am just wondering why to do this
The audition freaked me out
I knew I would be with professionals
While you are doing your audition I took the man to his doctors appointment
The nurse was treating him like he's managing his health care
Sure, like he set it up
He's lost weight and not grown
We've taught him some better eating habits
Here's a fruit party platter
She's leaving and asks him if their is anything else
He's talking non-stop
This is a lot less
"Elliot is there anything else you want to share," goes the nurse
"There is something else," Elliot
He looks right at me and says, "My mom says things to my dad that makes him really angry"
"She says really mean stuff," Elliot
Buddy, it might be a good idea to refrain
On the show, but he doesn't listen
Picking up probably on the hairy situation here in the house
Sure we all have stress and tension
Your mom and I are best friends
One of those moments
Then the kid asks, "Why am I in a foster home?"
Tomorrow, is the 3 YEAR CRONCAST ANNIVERSARY

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Tags: Second City The Comedy Shrine Deep Fried Blonde Hardees Croncast

Hitting the comedy shrine with Betsy

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 20:00:24 -0500

Meeting Betsy's improv posse at The Comedy Shrine in Naperville.

Those of you who listen to the show might know how excited I am to be
here tonight.

Tags: shrine betsy comedy might excited

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 11, 2007

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 08:18:24 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-11.mp3
Show: #385
Length: 17:27
Size: 12.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 11, 2007

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I've been apologizing a lot lately and today shall be no different. In today's show you will notice quite a bit of popping that occurs throughout the entire length. For most I don't think it will be intolerable, but for some it may.

I think I know what caused the problem but since I am in Boulder and Betsy is in Chicago recording a new show is out of the question. The real problem is that we recorded 3 more shows that same night and they appear to have the same popping. That's what I get for taking the gear out of the man pit and trying to reassemble it in haste.

For now, give it a shot and if you can tolerate the annoyance you'll be able to listen to some funny stuff and get your Croncast fix. If you can't, don't worry I am going to edit together the Q & A session that we had after the live show last weekend as a replacement for a couple of the other shows.

Show notes:

Recap of the live show
Thanks to The Comedy Shrine (again)
Comment heckler
School food that Betsy loved
McRib used to be pork on a bun
Cold garlic bread
Betsy gets some kudos
Theater majors

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Tags: McRib school food bar louie heckler theater majors

Croncast Live Naperville Jul 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 08:47:55 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-09.mp3
Show: #384
Length: 32:56
Size: 22.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

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First of all we need to thank everyone who came out to the show last night! Thanks to everyone who attended and those who become Croncast roadies in the process to help me wrangle gear and toys that littered the stage.

Turns out that we were both a little nervous and it comes through on the show but it was a ton of fun to do. More practice, more better.

So for those of you who couldn't make it out we've got today's show for you recorded from The Comedy Shrine. In the very near future, thanks to videographers Mike Marusin and Evan Brown we should have some video to share. For now you can check out these Flikr photos from Mike and Brian Beatty.

Special thanks needs to go out to Betsy's dad for helping to make this happen and to Dallas and Rachel Blair for driving out from the East Coast to come and listen to some strangers get down about their suburban platitudes. Time for some show notes.

Kris blows the intro but leaves it in because this is what happens nearly every show
Maybe there needs to be less light for you Kris
More basement like and it would work for you
You look warm
I had to get puffy cuffed
You guys get the full on puffy cuff
The intro happens again
Rolls right in to Mike's comment
Betsy takes it to task
What me go out and get a job?
I've have awesome stuff happen
Bring home cockroaches in my purse
Well, if I continued my current line of work
People have been doing it for ever
Sort of like prostitution
I'll buy it as a favor to you
Teri Horton, Who the Fuck is Jackson Pollack?
It's all about the fucking provenance
People are trying to take advantage of her
They show her sitting around the VFW hanging out
You can hear the live audience
We've been pretty excited
But most you haven't (listen to hear the tone it is a joke)
We work hard for you
This is show #384
I'm just kidding!
Sure it is passive aggressive but it
We have a lot more fans in the Pacific Northwest and New York, New Jersey areas
Yeah we could have filled two more tables
Betsy put together an outline for the show
Betsy and Jeanie going on the "greatest road trip ever"
Jeanie is all about the free drive
I still can't believe you are going
I've got one with adhd and a toddler who bites
Don't you remember Slowsky?
The Volvo is Slowsky reincarnate
The Valhalla middle class outreach program
Here comes Jeanie
She doesn't look like a truck driver does she?
I can't believe that you didn't carry a gun in your semi
Betsy on a zip line
You are going to die
We've all been honest with you
Jeanie, now you know I am going to put my fat ass on a zip line
Yes, Betsy I will shoot a gun from a Hummer for you
This is our basement . . . nearly
Just shooting targets
Maybe kill a deer remotely
Betsy rationalizes it as thinning the heard
I'll take the kids to hang out at John Elway Dodge
Jeanie was thinking a massage but now it's guns
The only place that I think I could shoot off a machine gun in peace in solutude would be my dads backyard
Need an inexpensive divorce in Illinois or fast bankruptcy?
If so visit www.gshiltslaw.com
Thanks to Gary for making the show happen
Jeanie tells the story of her dad finding a body
Attendee off the street A.J. also found a floater at Niagra falls
Betsy gets her dad going about the trips
Gary sets it straight with Sleazers butcher shop
What about the zebra steaks?
Betsy shows off her sweet scores of the week
Her Gucci bowling bag
The fisher price teddy bear
Well what the hell is wrong with a used bathing suit?
That's going to do it for us
Behind the scenes outro

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Tags: The Comedy Shrine Terry Horton Gary Shilts Valhalla vacation Jeanie

The live show is tonight!

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 09:08:34 -0500

The day is finally here for our first live show. Kind of nervous and kind of excited at the same time.

We've got a ton of stuff to get done today but I take a minute to pop in and say thanks to those who are coming out to The Comedy Shrine and that we look forward to having a great time tonight with you.

If you are interested tickets are still available.

Tags: Croncast live Naperville podcast live podcast The Comedy Shrine

Buy your tickets now! Croncast Live - Naperville

Fri, 18 May 2007 09:11:08 -0500

Ok people, we are set. You can now buy tickets to our first live show.

The show will be on Sunday, July 8th 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm at The Comedy Shrine in Naperville, IL.

If you need more information or are coming from out of town and need hotel information call Kris at (630) 303-9065.

This is what I wrote up for a description:

Join us for the first ever Croncast Live!

If you think that we're funny on the show come and get a first hand look at Betsy rolling her eyes during the intro, waving her hands wildly and all my Mr B moves.

Doing a "live" show, "live" meaning in front of people other than the My Size Barbie's and Goodwill prizes is something that we've wanted to do for a while and we want you to be at The Comedy Shrine with us.

Betsy and I are thinking of calling this the Suburban Bliss Tour . . . well, maybe I am, but regardless we are set for night of dairy snake, moob and other Croncastisms.

Pacific Northwesters, don't forget we'll be doing a Seattle show in August! More on that show soon.

Tags: croncast live show The Comedy Shrine Naperville Croncast Live tickets

Betsy and her husband Kris May 16, 2007

Wed, 16 May 2007 07:25:07 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-16.mp3
Show: #363
Length: 26:52
Size: 18.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 16, 2007

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Betsy is in selling mode and looking around all crazy
Even my Wheat Crisps from Trader Joe's is looking marketable
Elliot's got his IEP (some mumbo jumbo for meeting about your child) today
We're dropping Gigi off at her sisters so we can be childless and focus
Flyers under the shield at Wal-Mart for illegal slaughter house
Not since becoming a suburbanite have I seen a huge plunky dunky goat
They got the crazy eyes
Sitting there licking it's cloven hooves
"Moma, pet"
When goats attack
Oh, my god you have to call 911
There's a goat in front yard!
It's unusual, but a goat in your yard is an emergency
The goat hunkered down behind the cozy coupe
Could be injured and vicious
The goat had to come from the crazy farm on 87th
I'm putting goats on my front lawn
And next to that RV parking for off season parking
I'm ok with it
More people being held at Gitmo than the town I grew up in
Yeah, you are crazy Betsy
Here's the part that makes you crazy
Elliot's IEP . . . Betsy starts telling the goat story
"Guess what I saw this morning . . . a GOAT!"
We were there for 45 minutes and you told the goat story 4 times!
Elliot's special education teacher even got the goat story
In the meeting with 5 teachers she busts it out again
In the meantime Vickie's got 3 kids and a goat in her yard
It could have had babies
It could have had sex with a golden retriever and made gorievers
Animal control shows up and says it belongs to the farm
They said, "Stand back. Goats are dangerous."
I may go and apply for it, Kris
We could do a freelance goat retrieval business
I want a uniform with a patch
They wander the forest preserve
Evidently the goats freak if they hit the pavement
They go "bo honky" . . . coined by Betsy
All the neighborhood kids show up to watch
Can you imagine having a baby in you with horns?
Duct tape that fence together
"You may want to cover the children's eyes"
What did you say to Maggie?
She can't say 'goat' so she was saying 'doat'
Where's the 'doat'?
Now the environmental clean up company needs to come back and clean up pooh
The hobby farm guy doesn't want to come and get his goat
Betsy won't let me have the drink I ordered
Thanks for the call Dave about tickets for the live event . . . The Comedy Shrine will not be selling tickets for the event it is up to us to get it set up. We will have something ready by next Monday and let you know!

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Tags: escaped goat goriever cloven hooves The Comedy Shrine IEP

Betsy video at the comedy club

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 09:08:29 -0500

Here's the video from the comedy club, "The Comedy Shrine" in Naperville where Betsy is being asked about Croncast.

Don't see the video? Download it here.

Thanks to Robin Klau for shooting this and Rick for posting it so I could get it up here.

Tags: The Comedy Shrine Naperville Croncast Robin Klau Rick Klau The Spew

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 20, 2007

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 07:23:00 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-20.mp3
Show: #352
Length: 32:27
Size: 22.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 20, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks Kelly C.

Leave comments on any post
Kris will respond, Betsy won't
"I respond, I email them back"
My night story 10 times better
Kris spent 2 1/2 hours creating a mobile browser database
Much better than Betsy's story . . . not really
Betsy went to a comedy club
Could we have 50 in the basement to do a live show?
Not unless they were quite intimate with one another
Can't mess with the Bunco people
It was a different kind of experience
Thursday night was Ladies Night at the comedy club
The audience . . . Naperville Mommies
The joke about the rabbit . . . Sex and the City reference
Robin gets rolling with Betsy
They begin to party on their own while the show is going on
My husband Rick always wants to heckle the person on stage
"Betsy, does a radio show with her husband, a podcast in their basement. And it's really funny."
It's on now . . . you interrupted my show . . . get up here
Betsy holds back on stage
Before she leaves the club she asks about renting it out
We could have a celebrity guest on the show . . . Gary Shilts
The TV crews were rolling when they taped us
Betsy has never really done a full-blown Betsy ramble on the show
She's come close
There is something in the full Betsy ramble that is indescribable
I don't want mom and her deaf dog there
Why do you need me?
You have to edit it Kris
Blog posts to ensue from Betsy
"Reasons to own a Deaf Dog: The greatest experience of my life."
She really thinks her name is Stomp Stomp
She has to feel the vibrations
I know what your book about it . . . replace "dog" with "husband"
I am going to pierce your ears again Mr. B
The church ladies call Gigi grumpy
Kris is going to back and set them straight
Maggie's speech evaluation
As a parent where did you go wrong?
Talking like this in 4th grade will get her check minus
Christina Aguilara for Christians The Spew, Naperville The Comedy Shrine Naperville comedy club

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Tags: Croncast Cronies Naperville Mommies Bunco Robin Klau The Spew deaf dog