The Secret | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 19 Ep 18: Hey Sugar, Maiden Warrior, Let's meet

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 13:22:04 -0500

Croncast - 2008-02-22.mp3
Show: #464
Length: 32:14
Size: 29.8mb
Format: mp3

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It's been a while
I'm rusty
Remembering the order that I say things in
I don't use the Secret, no
You are a closet Unitarian Mr. B
No I am not
Are you a Secretologist?
She says random stuff
I'm just speaking my mind
That is what she things
Trying to get my goat
Takes one to know one
You are messing with wrong chick
She told me that she someone from my church
The woman told me she was a Humanist
Does that mean you guys are Scientologists?
You're giving away our secrets
Now you know before I say anything about Scientologists
We have a listener that meets all of Betsy's anti-requirements
We love him though
I wasn't messing with engineers, I know them
I admire the way that they think
She rolls over, I need to tell you something
She's going to tell you she tested positive for something
"My name . . ."
Your name?
"Yeah"
Yes
"Noel"
Yeah, I got it
"It means Maiden Warriors"
My engineer roommate began stirring in his loft
I taught him everything he needed to know about women
I had the scariest roommate in the entire world
I don't think you have told it, Betsy
**Note: this is one of the best stories Betsy has told on the show**
**Listen in at the 8:00 minute mark**
The alcoholic woman at the water park
She reminded me of your mom, Kris
Listers, you tell me
The text message I got was a hook-up message
No, it wasn't
I will leave it up to the listeners
Have you shared it with your friends
Yeah
What did they say?
Well . . .

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: Maiden Warrior Humanist Secretologist alcoholic women

Art Glass Shade

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 13:56:56 -0500

I like light quite a bit. So much so I took this photo this morning.

Betsy picked up the art glass shade above at Goodwill over the weekend for $.50.

It looks great in the kitchen and it fit the IKEA light fixture perfectly.

I need to ask her if she was talking to the Secret for that to happen. Because I highly doubt the original company was thinking about Swedish designed Chinese manufactured suburban light fixtures.

Tags: art glass light shade art folk art

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 12, 2007

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:27:04 -0500

Croncast - 2007-12-12.mp3
Show: #444
Length: 25:31
Size: 17.5mb
Format: mp3

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My stalker is back
Kris, put the shoe on the other foot
He thinks you are stalking him
I keep my eye on everyone
You are so cute when you laugh
You have the bobble body Mr B
Put it out there to the Secret
You have got to stop this Secret crap
I want to do a training series for HR professionals
How to hire a guy like me and How to hire a gal like me
Gal would be done by Nicole Simon
I need that gum scraper here at home
I have to pay the kids to clean
Elliot gets Webkinz
Listen, it is my trained earwigs
They mulch aluminum cans for me
The cafe press store, so far I have license plate frames
Here it is, shirts on the way
My dad told me white collar prison isn't so bad
Conjugal visits through the fence
We need to have a jail baby
So you can have something to look forward to
Do you mean motivation?
I never met my daddy
He and mama hug real close through the fence
You talked be out of babies
The home vasectomy reversal kit waiting for me at home
Sure, loaded with knitting needles and cat gut
More dog clothing breakdown
I actually heard from your mom that
"The veins are so close in her feet the blood would freeze her heart"
Goodwill has been picking up
My new passion is China
I just got bit by something
My trained earwigs are doing my bidding

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Tags: Webkinz The Secret china patterns conjugal visits earwigs

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 05, 2007

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 12:48:02 -0500

Croncast - 2007-12-05.mp3
Show: #442
Length: 31:04
Size: 21.3mb
Format: mp3

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For starters, we're sorry for the late show. We've got a lot going on around here.

And along those lines I will have to get back to show notes later. Sorry for the inconvenience but just keep in mind that the shows make you laugh regardless of what the show notes say.

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Tags: The Secret Anderson Cooper Geraldo Rivera condiments self-check

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 24, 2007

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 08:33:26 -0400

Croncast - 2007-10-24.mp3
Show: #424
Length: 26:23
Size: 18.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 24, 2007

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Here we come for Wednesday
You can check us out at C-R-O-N-C-A-S-T dot com
You are just being a sensitive nerd
Well, since I said I was leaving Room 214
Sure people can read between the lines
People do
Yeah, and that isn't a bad thing in this case
That's your life not mine Mr B
I don't care if you are not happy, because I am
I know your life plan isn't going all that well
Karma and me are on a date called my life plan
I wrote down my goals and passed them to the Secret
Some things . . . My religion is a mix of Universalist Unitarian and the Secret
I'm halfway through my list, step back
I called Empire Carpet
You did that already
That is what I am saying
Further down on my list
I have it on every life goal list
If I didn't know you I would think you live near an abandoned rock quarry in a trailer
Tell the people what it is
I want to be a contestant on The Wheel of Fortune
And they are coming to Chicago this weekend
Oh, baby
People, send me some good vibes!
It works for cocktail party small talk
I don't think so
They'll just remember you from the convenient store scratching tickets
The prizes are good today
In the past they weren't all that good
They ran out of ceramic dogs in 1986
Vanna has it going on
You have something for Vanna?
No
Either way that is disturbing
She looks like a Bratz Doll
Now you went and messed with Karma
You are blushing
Apologies to all who have email, commented
Things have been crazy here
Chicago has millions of people and more than one convention center
On my life list from last year I had wheel of fortune
You can't invite more people
What if they get on and you don't?
At least I will know someone who is on the Wheel
Congratulations to the Browns who welcomed their second child today
So what do you want for Christmas Kris?
iTunes is going to get Led Zeppelin
Pshhhhhhht, I can get you 35 CD's at Goodwill for $35 forget iTunes
The computer wants to capitalize the word internet
It was a special place in the sky like Itasca

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Tags: the Secret Led Zeppelin iTunes Wheel of Fortune Chicago Goodwill Bratz Dolls

Spring time is tree killin' time

Tue, 22 May 2007 08:54:07 -0400

Our neighbors on all sides of us have gone ape crazy for killing their trees this year. I am thinking that it must have something to do with the 9 new trees we've planted in the last 3 years.

Either that or these people know something that I don't about the secret lives of trees. If there are any amateur or school aged dendrochronologists out there feel free to mosey on over figure out the average un-natural life expectancy of a suburban elm.

Tags: dendrochronologist killing trees planting trees dendrochronology suburban elms

Ron asks, 'What Equipment Do You Use?'

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 13:27:57 -0500

It's been a while since I talked about the equipment that I use and no time seems better than now thanks to this question:

"Can you tell me what microphones and mixer you use to record Croncast? (I heard the "expensive" microphone show recently and I had to laugh--I'm more interested in two microphones that are in the $100-$125 price range [each]).
Thanks!," Ron

Here's what currently makes up my audio signal path, hardware and software for Croncast.

2 - Marshall MXL 2003 microphones (Ron, for an extra $25 you won't be disappointed) [link]
2 - Universal Audio 6176 channel strips w/ preamp and compressor [link]
1 - PreSonus Firepod [link]
1 - Sony VGC-RB62G computer [link]
1 - Sony Sound Forge 8 audio editor [link]
1 - Waves L2 Ultramaximizer mastering compressor [link]
1 - Sony Vegas 6 multitrack for putting show together [link]
1 - Xing MP3 encoder (included in Vegas) encoded to Joint Stereo, 96 Kbps at 44.1 KHz
1 - MP3 Tag Tools to edit ID3 tags [link]
1 - iTunes to add more meta-data specific to iTunes (I can explain way below this)

This is what takes a Croncast from nothing to something.

Here's the breakdown.

Marshall Electronics MXL 2003 [link] microphones . . . I recommend these mics to everyone that asks. And after recently cheating on them with a Neumann U87ai I like them even more. With a price tag of $149 at most dealers you can't go wrong. We've used them now for two years and I own five of them. The sound is clear, they knock a lot of ambient noise down and their pick up pattern is second to none with a great low end and limited high end. The mic comes with a bass cut and a -10dB pad switch that can help when finding the right sound for your voice and recording space. These are phantom power microphones so I need a preamp.

Universal Audio 6176 [link] analog channel strip with 610 Tube Microphone preamp and 1176LN compressor. These two units are a new piece to the puzzle. They've replace the dbx 166XL that I was using for some limiting. The 6176's bring a nice warm sound to the shows that the 166XL didn't have. Most studios use them for recording bass tracks or heating up/distorting some vocals but I prefer them on a little lower setting to add a level bass and compression to our voices that would take me a couple of hours to create in post production through eq and other plug-ins.

PreSonus Firepod [link] is a 24-bit/96K FireWire recording interface with 8 preamplifiers (8 XLR/line inputs with phantom power). I originally bought this to replace an M-Audio MobilePre that was flaking out and causing intermittent popping in tracks. The reason that I chose the Firepod was primarily the 8 XLR inputs with phantom power to multitrack instead of force output to a single stereo track . . . a huge plus when recording more than 4 voices for a show. Also, if the UA 6176 wasn't part of the signal chain anymore I could live with the sound, I did for five months.

Sony VGC-RB62G [link] Intel Dual Core 2.8GHz with 2GB RAM. I've done little modification of this box other than adding a new video card, an extra FireWire card, a gig of RAM and a second hard drive. Usually, I prefer to build my own computer but was in the middle of the Alltel Racing Podcast when the old one died and I needed something right away. I went to Fry's and this box was best thing that they had in stock that met my requirements. It is or was sold as a Media PC and came with remote, surround speaker set up and more software than I could care to have (primarily the shit that just gums up the system). The only complaint that I have had so far with this computer is that every input in the back of it USB, FireWire or 1/8' has a ton of electrical noise in it when used for recording. I am forced to use the front 4 pin FireWire input for what should normally be a transparent sound recording.

Sony Sound Forge 8 [link] audio editor. This is the software that I record the shows into. I have been using Sound Forge for the last 7 years. When I got my first computer in 1999 at age 25 I learned how to use it by working with Steinberg's WaveLab (another great audio editor) but late in that year switched to Sound Forge. WaveLab had a lot of great features but they never compared the bundle of plug-ins that came with or for Sound Forge. WaveLab relied on the VST model and Sound Forge on Direct-X which meant that there were also more plug-ins to choose from. The killer plug-in was the Noise Reduction tool that prior to version 7 (maybe 6) wasn't bundled with the license. It is the best noise reduction tool on the market. I've heard most of the rest first hand, even the ones used in million dollar studios and would still choose the one in Sound Forge. I don't use Noise Reduction on our show but when doing post on audio recorded out of the studio I use it about 90% of the time.

Waves L2 Ultramaximizer [link] mastering compressor. Yep, I already ran the audio signal through an amazing compressor in the 6176 but the L2 puts the finishing touches on the wav file before I close out Sound Forge. This plug-in is the secret in my sauce. I have used it for about four years and find it's sound brighter, more open and louder than any other including Ozone 2 or 3 (which is an attempt to recreate the sound at a lower cost).

Sony Vegas 6 [link] multitrack video editor. Video? Did Kris just say, video? I sure did. When this product was first developed by Sonic Foundry it started out as a multitrack audio mastering suite that was supposed to be an upgrade from their Acid line of software. That didn't quite work out and they released a second version for video. With two competing versions on the market they made the wise decision to morph them together into Vegas Video, Sonic Foundry was bought by Sony and the rest is history. I use Vegas basically the same way that I use Dreamweaver for coding pages, as a template. All i have to do for Croncast is plug in each new recording on the timeline and poof there is a fully mastered show.

Xing MP3 encoder (included in Vegas) all shows are encoded to Joint Stereo, 96 Kbps at 44.1. This lowest quality that I will encode my own work to or for that of a client. This range is somewhat higher than many podcasters will recommend for a speech driven show but I find that anything less sound hollow and purely focuses on midrange sounds. Blah. At a bit rate lower than 96 Kbps most audio encoders, like this one, won't allow for a sample rate of 44.1 KHz. I used to encode the shows to a lower value two years ago when we first started but then iTunes came to town and studios started cranking out CD quality audio files. Once that bar was raised I figured it was okay for me to join that party.

MP3 Tag Tools [link] to edit ID3 tags. It is open source and the best ID3 tag editor that I have found. It will allow you to make changes to version 1 and 2 tags that will cover most of the popular media players like WinAmp, Windows Media Player and iTunes. It'll even let you add up to 18 images per file in the album art that can be displayed in iTunes.

iTunes for adding iTunes specific data to the ID3 tag. Didn't you already do this? Sort of. iTunes uses on the variances of the ID3 V2 tag standard to display meta data that is included with the MP3.

That is it friends. Once all that crap has happened it is time to upload the show to the server, fire up Castlock, start adding show notes and then make the show available for download.

Tags: MXL 2003 Universal Audio 6176 PreSonus Firepod Waves L2 Ultramaximizer Sony VGC-RB62G

Arrest me not suckas!

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 06:43:12 -0400

Listener Bob sent us this gem yesterday about Illinois Senate Bill 2878.

Turns out that two months ago the state of Illinois passed a law regarding license suspension for failure to get an emission test for your car (LIKE ONE YOU NO LONGER OWN!!!!!!!) to simply a vehicle registration suspension that became law immediatley upon the signature of the Governor.

I think someone needs to inform the Illinois EPS, Secretary of States Office (DMV here) and Law Enforcement Officers in the state about this because I was hauled in 3 days ago.

Anyway, I am going to post the Bill release that was on the State site here incase someone might be searching for it. Thanks again Listener Bob!!

Gov. Blagojevich also signed Senate Bill 2878 into law, which provides that the Secretary of State (SOS) may not renew the vehicle registration of any vehicle owner who fails to comply with vehicle emissions testing requirements.

Senate Bill 2878 was sponsored by Rep. Mike Tryon (R-Crystal Lake) and Sen. Martin Sandoval (D-Chicago). It eliminates the driver's license suspension enforcement mechanism in the current program and replaces it with a vehicle registration denial system. This would preclude a driver being arrested for a suspended driver's license.

"This change in public policy will ensure that residents are not inadvertently arrested for not getting their emissions checked while increasing the protection of the environment. This bill provides a penalty for the car and not the driver which makes good public policy for Illinois," said Rep. Tryon.

"Illinois is the only state in the country that goes to the drastic measure of suspending a driver's license for not having a vehicle tested. When you're driving on the road, and for whatever reason a trooper pulls you over, the last thing you need is to have your driver's license show-up as suspended," Sen. Sandoval said. "That could put an end to your vacation in a real hurry. We need to balance the requirement of compliance with common sense. That's exactly what my bill addresses."

The Illinois vehicle emissions test checks whether a vehicle's emission control system is working properly. Vehicles that are not properly maintained or that have malfunctioning emission control systems often exceed these standards.

SB2878 requires vehicles that fail the emissions test be repaired prior to being registered with the Secretary of State.

Senate Bill 2878 is effective immediately.

Tags: Secretary of State Illinois suspended license arrest emissions

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 07, 2006

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 07:11:07 -0400

Croncast - 2006-07-07.mp3

Show: #246
Length: 36:58
Size: 25.4 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 07, 2006

Betsy will have gifts from Maggies guacamole love
All she says is momma
Betsy and Maggie had lunch with me
The guacamole caked her dress
Betsy fed her some more guacamole at home
Eating food off the floor, she has standards
Off setting the guacamole with cheese
If they sold milk at garage sales
My jeans were $80
When you're listening to this I will be wearing the same clothes
What you and your wife do is cute
Jeans were not that much money for ones that fit right
Knock-off ketchup will set Kris off
Betsy says I spend too much money on stuff
"Do you know how many pairs of jeans I could have bought you for $80 at Goodwill?"
Betsy is trying for the senior discount
Garage sale booty
The secret to Betsy shopping speeds
Possible fake Coach purse
Hanging at the Tech Cockatil mixer
Being able to buy things makes me feel good
It's the nicest gift besides giving her grand-children
Doctor asks if Betsy and I are related . . . nice
Our fly farm and my fly paper business
More anniversary talk
Slowsky is coming home!!!

Tags: guacamole tooth paste Goodwill TECH Cocktail Coach

Betsy and her husband Kris May 01, 2006

Mon, 01 May 2006 06:47:11 -0400

Croncast - 2006-05-01.mp3

Show: #222
Length: 26.:55
Size: 18.5 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 01, 2006

Evidently it's May Day
What the hell is May Day?
It's the only thing Unitarians worship
Specualtion like the Wiccans
What is the common glue that holds you people together?
It's the "c" word
Someone shows up with an engineering textbook
Somehow it works like an onion stew
Betsy doesn't get the drinking blood and bread
No bake sale
Grandma's great George Foreman grill
Giving your peeps a bad rep
The only vegan cassarole at a church
Selling a rusty axe (yes it deserves the 'e') on eBay
The henna experience from scratch
We're going on vacation to Denver in a few months
Dutailier Glider goes for $240! Betsy's investment $60
The whole Chicago "My frient"
It's a movement I'm starting, my frient, it will sweep the nation
The routine requests by cats who should be selling knives door to door
Making nice with the secretary
I offered you a brownie and you told me no
Giving birth with Betsy in the room
Cacious Gray the oldest horse at Arlington Raceway

Tags: Dutailier Glider eBay May Day Arlington Raceway henna

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 155

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 07:38:48 -0500

Croncast - 2006-03-03.mp3

Show: #199
Length: 35:36
Size: 24.4 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 155

Show Notes

It feels great to be back. Wait, did I hear Betsy say we are going back to 3 days a week? Listen to find out if it's true.

We're a bit rusty
The neighbors can hear that for God's sake
Lost in the Gobi
Electronic deposit still rolling in
Stipend for not begging
All the other daddy's get stuff
$5 a week for Kris
Don't come home for lunch
Baja fresh
What happened to medium?
Playland torture
It's another of his ideas
Kris lays out the entire month of not podcasting
ID3 Podcast Magazine
In my spare time
Podcasting production also
The apology
My t-shirt "I know, I know, I feel bad about it but I'm not going to stop."
Stomach pain is from green vegetables
Ultrasound for boy or girl in my gut
Where to gall problems come from?
Vegetarians don't have gall problems
In search of a better him
Doctor calls but Betsy doesn't pass on message
If you've ever met this man you'd know that I run his life
I hung up on the bitch
The secretary is most powerful person in the company
Flipping the wrong finger
"Stupid jerk."
Bust it out to get daddy in trouble
Next time I will call them a stupid jerk
Everyone has it out for Kris
Betsy's life work is paying off at this point as a social worker
Behavior problems with the man, seems his brain makes it hard to control
The neurological damage has been done
Betsy takes care of her mom
She was walking hell, fire and fucking brimstone
Screaming and crying and breakdowns
I can't go home
Man, were we close
Buying drugs for mom
Ben the fix it guy is low-key and awesome
Betsy fights with old man at ACE
I just want the toilet
Ben was embarrassed for Betsy
World's greatest countertops Madura Gold
Ordering men around so they follow through and give them a check
Thanks for the emails
Let me tell you people, we got another show Monday!
It's garage sale weekend
Landing the plane, so to speak
We're going back to Monday, Wednesday and Friday shows!!

Tags: betsy kris back croncast problems

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 128

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 05:30:56 -0400

Croncast - 2005-09-28.mp3

Show: #169
Length: 27:14
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 12.4 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 128

Show Notes

Tom Davies' entry is going to be tough to beat
Sign of Aging when you use
"Guess what I read in Readers Digest today"
As a conversation starter
What kind of job Betsy could get if she started today?
Kris thinks I would be pulling animals off tin roofs in Lousiana
The secret lives of men
Kris believes he is completely controlled by women
Kris thinks I should start a shopping blog
Von Maur rocks
Rude people call at dinner
Though Kris won't just hang up
Further proof that he is controlled by women
Ashton Moore

More voting? Really more voting? No way.

How can I vote some more? I can vote everyday for Croncast?

Answers: Yes, yes, yes, and yes!

How?

Click the green button at the bottom of this page.

New Contest!!

Send Betsy the a story of the funniest thing that ever happened to you and you could win . . . this set of fabulous Vintage Collector Edition Pac-Man glasses that are near mint quality!

The contest ends on Friday October 7th and the winner will be announced on Monday October 10th. Good luck! Betsy will pick the winner.

Tags: kris betsy croncast thinks women

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 113

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 05:41:35 -0400

Croncast - 2005-08-24.mp3

Show: #154
Length: 36:43
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 16.9 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 113

Geoffrey sends a special message with his support donation, "More sex, less dead dogs pls."

I'm with you Geoffrey, next time Betsy wants a story that I am reluctant to tell, I will switch it up with something slightly less horrifying like sex and us.

Show notes:

Betsy cuts into intro right from start asking if I need a man doll from the quarter bin at Goodwill
Kris's T-shirt extravaganza
"I was listening to NPR on my way to work . . . "
Betsy cuts me off as I mock the pledge drive commercial
Elliot feels bad for George Bush
The man won't be an Alex P. Keaton
Born with it
Happy childhood moments
White trash and macaroni, Betsy's genes kick in
(We recorded late last night and we start to slow)
Betys is officially the secretary of the home owner's association and now she volunteered me to build a website
My finger is still numb
Battle of the Network Reality Stars
What happened to VH1?
Kris buys Betsy for 1 year of podcasting with vasectomy offering
Betsy wants to podcast it
Pledge drive, support the show

Thanks to everyone who has already donated!

Tags: betsy kris croncast support drive