Universalist Unitarians | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 25, 2006

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:02:52 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-25.mp3

Show: #318
Length: 30:56
Size: 21.2 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 25, 2006

Today's show is brought to you by The Zeliffs
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
Yup, a Christmas day show for those who celebrate and those who don't
We celebrate on Christmas Eve
How come the phone is ringing?
Why are neighbors stopping by?
Oh yeah
The beaten turkey a few years ago
Returned the meat to the store
He wasn't part of the status quo
He wants to be free-range
Beat him in front of the other turkeys make sure they see it
The group home kids are opening their stuff right now
Thanks to you guys who donated for the cause
Not wanting to get official
We just wanted to collect the money
Now we have some ChildServ corporate listeners
Back to Christmas . . . wasn't my dinner spectacular
Tackling the gifts that have been waiting
Pulling Christmas names
They would brawl . . . they could do it on the Wii
I go first, no you go first . . . my dad would trip on the way down the stairs
Now there are all these people and kids
Kris why are you being such an asshole
Have you ever had to take an intermission with gift opening?
We'll have to rethink it
Opening gifts all at the same time
I'm gonna get cake . . . who wants cake?
Could have gotten the kids two things
Digital picture prints for Betsy
When you're a mom you can't go through all the digital photos to print
Pictures of everyone
Worst hair choices for the past few years
Betsy sees the short hair picture and says lemme do it again
Dangly earings, denim jacket and Indigo Girls in the back ground
Patches of Mr. B hair all over the place
Betsy had blocked it out of her memory
What a bad decision
It's not even a pretty color it is dirt brown
Hair today gone tomorrow gift certificate
The investment in head shaving
Red for a couple days . . . it's hat season
Us bald guys we get chilly
Why would I want my eyebrows done
The in between part
Self-image change
It's a Van Dyke not a Goatee . . . it can't be
The sizes need to be set for the daddies who are shopping at the last minute
What about earings?
No I asked for a ring with nothing sticking up
No, no, no I just need a ring
The fact that it doesn't fit is not cool
Unique like my baby
Return it and go to Costco
Hey Mr. B . . . thanks for your gift . . . I'd like to return it . . . Let's go to Costco
Yeah, yeah, no, no you can't do that
Just get sized
Maybe that hurt my feelings a bit
Dry cleaning chemicals are really Febreeze
I loved your present Mr. B
Gotta give it up so I'm not into it out of love
I tore it up on my ribs
I rolled over in the middle of the night and I whimpered
If you wanna be a boxer grow some balls
I'm knocking you out
Pictures straight from the Wii
Adding all of your Wii Friend Codes
Like a build a bear
What are the Pagans doing?
Better yet what are the Universalist Unitarians?
Dancing around the saturnalia tree

Tags: Wii Friend Code free-rang turkey digital prints saturnalia tree dangly earings

April 26th Show up this evening

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 09:42:19 -0500

Hola amigos y amigas!

Things started poppin' around the house last night and we didn't have time to record, though it did give me a few seconds to watch the Colbert Report. It's nice to know that technology can fail on national television too.

Today's show will go up later this evening, which will make Thursday and Friday like a Croncast two-fer. Maybe we should bill it as "Croncast taking you through the late week and into the weekend with a two-fer of Goodwill delight and humus eating Universalist Unitarians."

Tags: late show Croncast Colbert Report Universalist Unitarians

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 72

Fri, 06 May 2005 09:20:43 -0500

Croncast - 2005-05-06.mp3

Show: #113
Length: 45:15
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 20.7 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 72

Today's show makes up for all the short shows this week. We recorded early in the morning because it is Betsy's Mom's birthday today and they were going to do nothing else but . . . go to garage sales and Goodwill. I think Goodwill needs to start kicking in a little sumthin sumthin for all the play we give them. Maybe not always positive on my behalf but atleast we can spell it right.

We discuss why Betsy enjoys conservative radio; well not enjoys it but gets fired up, sermon radio for neighbor humpers, the reference section in the Bible, miracle water on Comedy Central, Benny Hinn, the contest entries, Elliot peeing in the garbage can a few nights ago, bottom swatting.

Betsy feels like a total loser! She invited a mommy to her church the first time she talked to her. She feels really bad like she's an evangelist for the Universalist Unitarians. She really does. She called me once it happened and it was really funny for me.

We also talk about the "no sperm from gay men ban" by the FDA and the demotion of Army Reserve Brig. Gen. Janis Karpinski to Colonel thanks to a military judge not hanging Lynndie England out to dry for the Abu Ghraib business, Kris's asymmetrical bald spots on his head "looks like you flew headlong into flypaper and tore yourself loose", what Betsy has learned from Drag Queens, the epilady spring loaded hair ripper outer and how Betsy got revenge in 6th grade against all the other girls who picked on her.

Goodwill Goody Contest Continues - Ends Monday!

1) Send an email to betsy@croncast.com with the word "Contest" in the subject line
2) Write a couple sentence bio about yourself
3) Betsy will print out all names and put them in a cookie jar
4) She will pick one name
5) Grand Prize - Betsy will be your personal Goodwill shopper. She will interpret your bio and buy you an appropriate gift for Goodwill value up to $9.99 (You could end up with a waterbed or car at that price) and ship it to your home or business.

Tags: betsy goodwill croncast contest kris