Virginia | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 20 Ep 2: Tijuana Jellies, Rent a Goat, Living Through Kids

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:27:16 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-07.mp3
Show: #477
Length: 33:02
Size: 22.7 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2007 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: TBD. Stop by and buy them a drink or two!

It's like having naked people on web site
Sure, it is nerd porn
If you had a math site
You could put up a really hot formula
Don't open your eyes it will make it real
Big weekend and Betsy alone time
I found out alone time is overrated
I love the kids but I didn't miss them
Normally when I am alone, I am with Vicky
That means you are not alone
You guys spend too much time together
Something like that
Betsy you watch Vicky
Security has your picture up on the wall
Did I ever tell you about Vicky almost being kidnapped?
No, you never have
But it explains a lot about your relationship
Vicky is going to get a goat if she moves to Virginia
That's is like having a girlfriend in Canada
"I have a goat in Virginia"
Rent a goat
Yeah, they call them petting zoos
I just want a goat petting zoo
Tell me about the kidnapping story
Was my mom baby sitting you?
Vicky was in the cart
I was cramped and pushed in underneath
I looked like a giraffe in a VW
She is 2 1/2 and you are 7 1/2
This woman grabs Vicky
But she is stuck
You know how kids get stuck in carts
Sure maneuvering them out
She was panicking and pulling
My mom lost her mind
What are you doing the whole time
I was like whatever
The woman runs out of the store
My mom's first reaction was to yell at me
Not call the cops
I gotta sit down so low to see the cereal
I don't know what it is
Get the hell over it
You are crazy
Your sister must think once a week what my life would have been like
Divorced with two kids
Lifetime movie moments
Jesus Christ, you look like a victim, suck it up
Mom picks up Vicky and says, "Run!"
I lied about my size them
It was expensive in California
I had to wear Jelly shoes 3 sizes to small
I begged my mom at a dollar store
Sure your Tijuana Jelly Sandals
There are times when you can't afford shit
Standing in line at the Louisiana post office
So for Christmas they shipped me chameleons in a box
They arrived not alive

Tags: Jelly Shoes Mexico rent a goat parental reaction pup pup

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 13, 2007

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 06:53:41 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-13.mp3
Show: #349
Length: 36:01
Size: 24.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 13, 2007

Triscadecaphobes, yes it's Friday the 13th
Does that mean you are phobic of triscuits?
Afraid of woven wheat?
No, it means that I am afraid of Sandy Duncan
She's creepy
Smack her on the back of the head and one of those eyes is coming out
She's old lady porn, one eyed porn a new genre
I don't think so Booba
Edison was shooting that porn way back when
Getting back in to small town mode
All over a golden plump
Maybe that's how they get so plump
I grew up really, really small town
My folks weren't farmers . . . just passing through for the rest of their lives
He was held back
Other people are telling this story about you, just differently
He had the 13 year old creepy boy stache in 3rd grade
The epitome of backwoods Virginia
He had tight curly brownish/black hair
Might have been the fact that they didn't have running water in the house
Sometimes it's like someone dropped you off on a journey from the center of the earth
My dad raced stock cars at the county fair grounds on weekends . . . I'm class all the way
We would go out to their house
Push the car off the property to work on them on the gravel road
Wild animals in all the junk they
You had wild ferel cats in your yard . . . different baby, I lived in town
He's come out in his underwear and run around
Half a mile from the compound
Of course we have to push it off the property
I don't want a cupcake from you
Farms are junk car magnates
That's what we near Bear, a some property where we can abandon our shit
Making me hold it till we got home
They had the 21st century green toilet paint bucket with sawdust like your friend
You didn't catch him that's for sure
I spied him with his junk in his hand
Enjoying himself in nature and chickendom
What is he doing now? It's a success story
He was an Edison savant
You don't need electricity to run a phonograph
Gotta get rid of your bear plug Betsy
That is so gross
Great day for me Mr. B
My sisters kids were sick and I didn't have to babysit
They just don't get my sarcasm it washes over them
She looked at me blankly
Maggie thinks her name is moo moo
Today was the first day of garage sale season
Twins and triplets sale was training camp compared for this
They were there . . . my people
The Mexican guy in his Astro van with his kids on a school day
The Blue hairs early in line
I'm here for a free bowl of soup or the sale
She goes off about resellers and waking up early
She's 97 Kris, she's so old that she doesn't have an old AOL address
She's grandma1@webtv.com
That man has his kids helping him out
Thank you Mr. B it's a business
You can't match this flow
And there it is Mr. B
I was put on earth to do this
The Madeline in Paris Doll house with all the stuff
Why Wednesdays show sucked
Betsy had Elliot's neuropsych evaluation on her mind
They were really arguing that it was his semen that caused the problem
The genetic crap
Kids with medical issues
At a kids party you can pick the parents based on their behavior
Haven't you been tested for bipolar yet? You're eight! Shit could be going on up there
Join up with the Croncast Cronies . . . thanks Kelly C.

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Tags: Triscadecaphobes neuropsych chickendom garage sale season county fair grounds triscadecaphobia

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 29, 2006

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 07:28:21 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-29.mp3

Show: #320
Length: 32:47
Size: 22.5 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 29, 2006

Today's show is brought to you by Mike Marusin.

Betsy does up a little ditty for Mike
She can never remember the day
"Mrs. Smith . . . it's 1 o'clock . . . it was a half-day of school"
Major mommy screw ups
Baby I got two New Years resolutions
Number 1 - I am done making fun of you and Goodwill
It's all about the Booba in 2007

I'm gonna start with one Coach wallet and turn it into a small fortune
And then I'm just gonna sit on it and make you ask
I know someone told it was a bad idea to go to the coach outlet
Number 2 - make sweet love to another woman
Look what I have over here . . . steak knives
I tried to make today go well with two trips to Goodwill
Betsy can't find her glasses
They are not in the Smith Man Pit
Baby, look at me . . . you know I am kidding
I just wanted to rile you up a bit
Well you can get all riled up on the couch tonight watching the Spice channel

So we had an email asking for the cast of characters from Goodwill
An entire show dedicated to the folks
Betsy actually wrote them out
Finishing the story of Rumple Snatch before the name reveal
When good art and story telling is at its finest
Goodwill stories for two years
Her life sucks
Why do you go there now?
Even management ends up with special character names
Betsy needs a Russian translator
People think I'm harsh on the resale tip . . . check out Betsy's mom
Betsy's urge to purge thanks to Virginia Slim and crew
More pictures or the pictures that people asked for
We'll be back on Monday

Tags: Mike Marusin Coach outlet Smith Man Pit Rumple Snatch Spice channel

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 27, 2006

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 07:27:18 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-27.mp3

Show: #319
Length: 21:18
Size: 13.9 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 27, 2006

Today's show is brought to you by Jennifer Rush. Thanks Jennifer!

Short show notes . . . Gigi woke up about half way through the show and we end it a bit early. So you get about 2/3'rds of a regular show.

Don't forget about my man
Kris is funny like codfish
Arch enemies slash co-workers at Goodwill
It is a cart
This is not your field of expertise . . . stand back
Pit stained shirts
She comes out with a coat
Like hitting a coal vein
She has to brag that she found a Burberry coat
Rumple Snatch meet Virginia Slim
Betsy is worried that she is going to become the crazy hoarder chick
She has a disease that makes her collect things
Intermission
What is wrong with men . . . American men
The questions we ask our ladies
Probably one of the worst search terms that got our show as a result

Tags: Burberry coat Jennifer Rush Rumple Snatch Gigi Virginia Slim