Volvo of Lisle | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

9 more miles to go

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 13:58:41 -0600

She's drifting pretty heavy on the side roads which we'll be on for the next nine miles.

This better be a GREAT auction!

Tags: volvo v70 volvo of lisle better auction roads heavy

Robowagon - Volvo V70 falling apart again

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 20:09:03 -0500

The Volvo is holding up in true Slowsky curse fashion.

I bumped the mirror with a garbage can and the back of it came flying off.

Could someone please remind me why the dealership and Volvo of North America wouldn't help us out again with this disaster on wheels? Oh yeah, I said that we didn't want another Volvo and they said it's your problem not ours.

Buy not another Volvo I will.

Tags: Volvo of Lisle volvo north america Volvo v70 2006 V70 ford escort wagon

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 06, 2007

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 08:24:48 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-06.mp3
Show: #394
Length: 36:42
Size: 25.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 06, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Early intro to explain this show has lots of the electric popping noise in it. I thought I had this figured out for the show recording but I didn't. However, I did find a solution after today's show was recorded . . . clear shows from here on out.

My windscreen smells like a pack of condoms
What you got in your suitcase?
Yeah it has packed since I left for Colorado
OK Kris, mine smells like a today's sponge left out for four days
It's been 3 weeks since we have done a show with just us
The untold story, I almost didn't go to Colorado, Kris
Is this like Slowsky?
We fly in the face of karma
I preemptively heed the warnings
Four days out from leaving for Boulder it begins
Like the Volvo won't come out of park again
OK Blackwater Betsy
They drag the old decrepit bitch in
Volvo of Lisle has repaired it for the 4th time
They give me a Hyundai
We know what the problem is mam . . . you dripped some soda in there
No, look at the record . . . this is the 4th time
If I can't drink soda in my car remove the cup holders
The problem is that everything in the gear shifting area has been replaced
Splenda is not sugar, it is a secret ingredient in concrete
Now I owe the dealership $300
That is one less cool experience at Elk Mountain Resort
How am I going to help you out? I will be in San Francisco
That would be cash at hand
Your guilt and negativity goes both ways
I get to the DMV with Gigi on my hip to get new plates
Line to another line to another line
Boss Hog will drag you out by your ear
Don't get out of hand Ms. Mommy pant
Can we get a supervisor over here?
I know that is the auditor
Mam, your plates are illegal!
Oh, now I am going to be arrested at the DMV
I end up in a line with bikers
A line full of the scariest men
They all keep trying to talk to Goo
I've never seen a baby give that look
She's not going to ride bitch to anybody
She'll be leading your gang in 10 years
I know exactly what the problem is
There is only one man in Springfield who can take care of this
The bikers, Skanky and Skanky
It turns out that Skanky wants to sell his car to Skanky
Maggie hears the guy yell and she freaks out
Now I am freaking out
All your fault Mr. B
Your likability was going down by the day
The plates from Slowsky moved over to Volvo
I don't own the Volvo, you do Kris!!!!
What if I want to hit the road in peace?
Thanks Oprah
I was in there for 53 minutes
I got sucked in to other peoples drama as I waited
Betsy gets attacked by a tick
Now she needs to tell the neighborhood
The neighbor tells her that she just got back from New Jersey
She was there to help out a family member that got sick from a tick bite
The ticks in New Jersey know your name before they attack
This is all happening the night before you leave
Thank god the Elk Mountain staff is released early every morning to remove all ticks and flea dip the deer
I will never have a vacation as good as this because I am married to you
Oh, you are too kind baby
I was holed up 30 miles from Boulder in a hotel by the highway
They call themselves suburbs, but they don't know
Working late at night doing the nerd thing
I get to the hotel late
You're supposed to have a non-smoking . . . don't have it
You're supposed to have king . . . don't have it
The room smelled musty and like nothing I had smelled before
All this while I have to rationalize hopping into a bed that a lot lizard just has sex with a trucker in
The next morning I wake up and head down to the front desk
I bitch and moan then realize that this girl is 11 years old
I ask to be moved to another room
She reaches into her pocket and pulls cell phone
A roadside motel run by pre-teens
"I can't move you but my mom can. I can call her to come down here."
I rolled on out
I came back the next night and asked to be moved again
We can move you . . . but not for three days
I then get the burrito craving
Qdoba happens to be open right next to the truck stop
You're gonna have to re-wrap that burrito
Why?
Beans were falling out of it
He looks at me, "Sir you need to understand . . . if you bit into this it will explode in your face."
This can't be fucking happening
I am going to eat it here and cut it in half
His eyes twinkle . . . are you sure that you don't want us to cut it . . . I have a really big knife
His concern for my burrito did not go unnoticed
Colorado out to get me . . . three months ago
Stop Mr. B you can't tell this story we've gone too long
We'll be in Seattle on Thursday!!!
If you can make a live show we'll be doing it
If more than 6 people want to come we need to get a place to do it
I have one fan . . .Mexico Mike, total troll
Selling mescaline by the highway
I'll be in on the 8th at 10 am
We'll be there for our 11th anniversary
Why spend alone we want you
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

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Tags: Qdoba burrito hotel by the highway Longmont CO exploding burrito Volvo of Lisle

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 04, 2007

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 08:35:27 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-04.mp3
Show: #345
Length: 36:47
Size: 25.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 4, 2007

I did something a bit different with this show . . . and it is more of an experiment to get some feedback. I'll stop here so that I don't give away too much or sway opinions. Let us know what you think.

Croncast, my baby
It's like my toast master's
You gotta stick your moobs in the air
The weight I am losing is making me dizzy
When I turn things swing
You got a loose bag of goodies
I need a mra
Yeah, you came up with the term "manitute"
You need to continue that
The pregnancy gear for overweight men
Full body corset thing . . . Flexees
Girlfriends wouldn't search for the Flexees, wives would
You bought the farm baby
It's a good thing that I am switching gears Mr. B
Are more people getting interested in selling on eBay?
Yeah, things are changing
I'm like the Aurora casino just throwing my money in and getting nothing back
Betsy's big thought . . .
She was waiting in line at the twins and triplets sale
Tethering the laundry baskets and dragging them across the floor
This year there was a sign . . . no dragging
Betsy gets the full introduction to some of the planners
Descriptions will be less Betsy-ish
Ok, yes, Ok,yes
Like I am a museum display
She comes up with the list and checks Vicky in
Gets to Betsy, tells her her name . . . Oh, I know who you are. You have a blog.
Betsy admits that she says some nasty stuff
Betsy's stomach sank
Bears just stop talking right now
She says, "It was funny when you said we had 'weak pelvic floors'." I find nothing at the sale
Betsy checks the post when she gets home . . . she laid out an entire post of how and I why she sells on eBay
They picked her post apart and realized that they should be doing it too and not donating there stuff for her to sell
What is the plan?
For those of you eating put down your food
It's got nothing to do with you
Is it about sex?
It has everything to do with me
If you are married and have the option . . . get the vasectomy
Vasectomy does equal an increased sex drive
No worries about birth control
Like the vaginal plug
You went to Catholic school right?
I give, I give
Betsy really digs the type A personality
I can tell who was here I can tell from the face on the skin like a snake
We're slowly getting in to show mode
Congratulations to Dave and Melissa!
Bill from hhradio.net . . . listened to every show
We've used a lot of color on our palette
Oh, the Volvo
Kris talks with Thom Volvo
Zero percent satisfaction and we will never buy another Volvo again
The defective V70 will be our defective V70
We're not asking for a refund or a brand new car, we understand depreciation
And no I won't sell my car back to you for a wholesale price
They won't help us out but they will honor our warranty because we don't want another Volvo, "because you don't want another Volvo there is nothing that we can do for you beyond honor the warranty because this is not mutually beneficial to us."
Betsy gives us Thom's perspective
I would get more customer care and satisfaction if I bought a $1.39 box of cereal instead of a luxury car
The dealership tells us this happens 1-2 times a year
We had more recourse through eBay with Slowsky than now!
Kris tells Volvo how to fix it for the next people . . . Talk us back into a Volvo about how safe and well put together they are
Auto auction price for my car is not fair value . . . I am not a wholesaler
Make me want to come in and get another Volvo
Sorry dude that sucks, we're sorry, but we're not going to help you
I am done talking about the Volvo
It's over
Let's get down with the positive . . .
Elliot did his yearly EEG
It came back with no abnormal activity!
He's now going off his medication
So we are monitoring him for seizures and so far so good
His behavior has gotten so much better

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Tags: Volvo Cars of North America Volvo of Lisle mra manitute Flexees vasectomy

So I call Volvo Cars of North America . . .

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 14:41:01 -0500

And talk with Thom (he seemed like Thom with an 'h') just like the dealership instructed me to. Not specifically to Thom with an 'h' but someone in customer care at Volvo of North America.

Turns out that Thom can't help us out! Imagine that. He said this is a "dealership" issue. However, he'll call the dealership on our behalf. Awesome!

BTW, for the full rundown listen to tomorrow's show . . .because, well, Thom with an 'h' got Kria with a 'k' fired up. Gems like this, I have to paraphrase since I don't have a recording or transcript from the call but about 15 minutes into the 19 minute conversation I am told that because we don't want another Volvo that helping us out "isn't mutually beneficial" and that there will be little they can do beyond honor the warranty. I guess that beyond the money already paid to them for the car, there needs to be more in it for Volvo.

Here's the deal, we are not asking for a full refund. That would be unreasonable. We have driven the car and understand depreciation of value. What we are asking and have asked for from the Volvo of Lisle is a fair price on the car, which, in this case includes a bump in consideration of all the problems it has had. What the car would sell for at auction, a place where normal folks couldn't buy a car if they wanted without a friend in the auto industry, isn't a fair price.

Tags: Vovlo of Lisle V70 2.5T Volvo Cars of North America volvo cars volvo car Volvo Lemon

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 02, 2007

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 07:46:22 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-02.mp3
Show: #344
Length: 39:56
Size: 27.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 2, 2007

It's good to be back!
Thanks to everyone who sent messages and comments
Four weeks of not being told you're fabulous has taken it's toll on Betsy
It's a thankless job being a house wife
Betsy really needs the show, she just won't admit it
I do like success Mr. B I just don't like to work very hard
iTunes users leave us a review in the iTunes music store
I've never been stuck on one thing
Yes, I was well rounded
I still have the sharp shins
The family knows me as the idea guy
But I stick to it like peanut butter
I am like that crazy inventor guy
The creepy guy who's in his garage all the time?
I have been waiting for this
Head first into break and I was excited
But Bears, you did nothing around the house
This will be a turning point in our marriage . . . Kris will start participating
Winter brings garbage
The sky opens and beer cans fall
Kris's sliding man pants while he works
Getting that backside tan
Can you turn around and lift your shirt
You'll have a pregnancy like slider to measure the tan for a man who does things
I get less sunshine now that I am working from home
And I've started losing weight
I have . . . like it is panic
Your Weight Watcherness of the last 4 weeks are putting the screws to me
My face is saggy . . . my tummy is jubbly
You'll have lost 6 or 7 ounces
Packing it in before was the truth
I am going to end up with a post-pregnancy belly
Watch yourself big boy
You never asked me to do anything on break other than bring in the garbage can
What if I buy you a ladder?
I'm done I cede the floor to you Betsy, now tell the Volvo story
Tidal wave in the car
Zeus was nowhere to be found
She calls me, "I was driving in my car . . . "
The way I don't ever want to hear Betsy start that way
I know that I am going to end up back at Volvo of Lisle
Yes, I was correct
We hit'em up to try to get it taken care of
The gist of it is that we are screwed
"You should call customer care and start there."
"Work your way up"
Reputation management matters but auto dealers don't care
This is a fluke but the Volvo reputation for a consumer begins at the dealership
They are the ones that should care
Once it is repaired Betsy asked for a price for them to buy it outright
Big mistake
Once she told them no new Volvo that she would buy a new car from another dealer it was over
Sure it is all soccer moms around here but it doesn't matter
Now we'll keep it til the warranty runs out unless something so bad happens that they will actually take responsibility for the car being a lemon
I never leave the house now
Which brings me to my point . . . I am going to sell your car Mr. B
You can't sell my car, baby
The farthest I went from the house in the last week alone was 35 feet
Talking taxes on Wednesday . . . strikingly vivid
We thank everybody for the emails, comments and the calls
Thanks for everyone who filled out the survey
Leave us a review in iTunes

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Tags: Croncast Weight Watcherness croncast returns Volvo of Lisle reputation management

Life is show prep when you own a Volvo, I mean a Ford

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 20:43:35 -0500

Sooooo, Kris thought to himself . . . I mean myself, that I would be cool and do something nice for Betsy. Like I could stop by Volvo of Lisle, the new temporary home for her car and talk to them about the state of her V70 wagon and give her some good news like it has been fixed or that we guarantee that 3/4 of an inch of water will never pour out from under the dash on the driver's side again.

I suppose I should have been talking to the techs instead of a finance guy, a manager and a sales man to get an answer for that. But I knew the car wouldn't be finished since we didn't hear back plus the fact that when we arrived they told us that they were overbooked by 60 appointments for today.

Mosquito eggs will be hatching in the meantime. This may be the most expensive larva nest/ant farm in history. Hopefully the high water mark won't damage the resale value. Something Betsy knows all about.

This was the point tonight they would step up to the plate and work with us. However, that would be to easy! I was told to call customer service, "It might take two weeks but eventually you'll talk to the right person."

Like I have time for this, not only do you have my car but I want to spend hours on hold waiting for someone to tell me that they can't help us out and I have to get upset and ask for a manager. At that point they then tell us that they don't really work for Volvo of North America they are just at a call center in Idaho.

This was, of course was after he mentioned that I might want to pursue the lemon law. I promptly redirected that path of reasoning as a remedy for a car that has been in for repair SIX times in 5200 miles of its existence. Towed in for two of those repair trips. We both know the lemon law means a bunch of expenses on my end and a high likely hood that there will be a pretty unsatisfactory ending to the story of our Ford station wagon.

Well, I gotta run laptop needs juice and I am tired. More to come later this week but expect a recap on our first show back this Monday April 2nd.

Oh yeah, "Is there anyone that I can call to shorten this process?" says Kris. "No. Just call customer care," Mr. Sales. "You guys don't have a name?" asks Kris. "I don't work with them," Mr. Sales.

You would think we bought the car from Volvo of North America.

Tags: Volvo of Lisle Volvo V70 V70 Mr. Sales Volvo of North America water in my car driving my feet are wet

Cars are time machines. They give, they take

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 13:45:52 -0600

We made our way to the dealership about an hour ago to officially start the process of finding a remedy. That is the taking away part of the time machine equation. I am sure on this scale of give and take that the nearly 10 days that we have been without the car in the last two weeks is a small percentage compared to that if we had walked the 3800 miles we have driven in it. The walk to Bloomington would have done me in.

Back to the dealership. So we talk to the intake technician who dealt with our car after it was towed in today and I kept it under control as I explained that this was the third time in (like he didn't know) for the same problem. He was cool about it and got the service technician who has been working on our car to come out and talk with us. I give him the same information that I imparted to the the intake guy. And he tells us that he's not sure what the problem is but they are going to replace quite a few parts that control the shifting, cable here, thingy there. Good.

Before we left the house today Betsy read her Volvo customer satisfaction guarantee booklet that came with her car. So we knew that on our visit we would need to talk to the manager of the dealership. We did and I only said lemon once. He went back and talked to the service technician and came back to let us know that a Volvo field technician, a "Volvo" guy, not a "dealership" guy was going to be out today to look at the car. Good.

I know that this is really bland but I'm trying to keep this as short as possible and at a minimum an accurate record of this process.

Tags: Slowsky part two 2006 Volvo V70 Volvo of Lisle 3800 miles time machines

A tow truck is on the way

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 08:34:02 -0600

Monday morning 8:00 a.m. and I make my way to Betsy's frozen, partially snow covered car. My goal - pull hard enough on the gear selector to get the car into reverse, into the cul de sac and turned around so the tow truck can put it on the lift.

Goal met. But not after a horrendous clicking sound as the car fought me to go back into park. In 20 feet of driving I lost the battle twice and watched the RPM's fly into red levels. Sweet.

Once I hit the pavement of the cul de sac . . . snap, it goes into drive. I would give this a "sweet" but I don't care anymore because the car is still broken. So right now it is backed up by our mail box waiting for it's ride to the dealership for another round of "repairs".

Tags: Volvo of Lisle Volvo V70 2.5T V70 lemon Volvo repairs

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 29, 2007

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 07:14:36 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-29.mp3

Show: #332
Length: 39:16
Size: 26.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 29, 2007

He is a golden . . . retriever . . . he brings stuff back
Zeus cannot be tricked
The noise distracts me
Genius like this takes concentration
We missed Friday's show
Kris felt depressed for a bit
It was his fault
It was a good nerd outing (spot a Kris) that was a success I talked to someone new
TECH cocktail is evolving
"My mother is in cancer treatment," attendee. Kris, podcast laugh follows
She was 4'11 and dressed like a flapper
Is she trying to start a scene
"Flappers" the movie to come
Betsy is going to continue to yawn through this
Baby, the time is right to talk about this
Once of these days I am just going to put a meat grinder on the desk
Betsy just push push push
Man, it is hard to talk about this . . . for Betsy now
I'm just gonna do it
Here's the back story
"You're going to be publicly humiliated"
1994 back in our dorm room, underage drinking and all the sudden . . .

To get the rest of this story you're gonna have to listen.

This story starts at 6:10.

Tags: Golden Retriever Volvo of Lisle Jeanie Bowen Goodwill Husband Zeus podcast laugh

Volvo V70 the curse of Slowsky

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 10:26:18 -0600

As many of you know we divorced Slowsky months ago and sent her on her way to a certain death on someone else's watch. About three months ago as a replacement for the 7 year old beast we picked up a 2006 Volvo V70 at Betsy's insistence that this was the car for her . . . I should have known better. It is was an untitled demonstrator and only had 600 miles on it. It now has 3800 miles on it.

In the last three months it has been in for service 4 times (quickly to be 5 as soon as Volvo will come and remove it from our driveway). It has been towed once (soon to be twice).

The repair visits have been:
1) Passenger window that wasn't attached to the track at the factory so it wouldn't go down or up. Cause: Presumed drunken Swede.
2) A child booster seat that didn't have the release strap attached. Yes, the strap and accompanying plastic cosmetic piece were not physically attached to release the seat. So I pull and it comes off like it was glued with butter. Cause: Again presumed drunken Swede arriving late for work after churning butter at home.
3) Car will not come out of park or release key for 30 minutes. Got it in gear and drove it in. Cause: unknown.
4) Car will not come out of park 8 hours after repair. Waited 2 1/2 hours for Volvo to get us a tow in a metropolitan area that is pavement from us to Chicago. Cause: a clip of some sort was broken.
5) Car will not come out of park 12 hours after repair. It now sits on our driveway. Cause: Something is broken and the dealership hasn't figured out what it is otherwise I wouldn't be writing this post about it sunbathing on our driveway.

To say that we have been dissatisfied with this purchase would be an understatement.

Betsy is now worried about driving the car. Even if the future repairs do the job I can't blame her. Getting stuck with a brand new car, Moose and Maggers in the winter doesn't sound too appealing.

The thought that maybe the air bags were packed with popcorn wouldn't surprise me at this point or the steering wheel is held together with tape and bubble gum or that the car's computer is an old Sega game console from Goodwill.

There is no doubt that Slowsky is back to haunt us.

Tags: Volvo of Lisle V70 tansmission Volvo V70 2.5T V70 Slowsky

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 24, 2007

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:40:33 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-24.mp3

Show: #331
Length: 30:20
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 24, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by James Hously
Intro done partially without any effects at beginning and the rest . . . history
Betsy mimics the bird man intro to the detriment of our audience
You look like a bird, Mr. B
Yeah maybe a flightless bird
Bears, you look like a Red Breasted Booby-Knocker
That would be the name of the bird that I get to name
You would name them all that
Who's got the PhD in Birdology . . . ornithology
Oh back when it was rocks for jocks
The same depth of sag, that's why they got along
You're being really sensitive tonight
I hit 30 and have found some good friends
People in 40's, 50's say when you are in your 20's you don't know shit
What are you thinking Betsy?
Chill out Bears
We we're oh so dumb, what did we know?
Why did we get married . . . especially at 20 and 21
I don't remember . . . but love and all that
That is back when you were wearing the teal cummerbund
With the fuschia shirt
You could have fried an egg on that shirt on a hot day
I used to walk home from that job at 4 am
Did you turn down every fourth prostitute or every third?
I did get followed home one night
By who a manitute?
He was hoping for Ballpark and ended up with a cocktail weenie
We hit 30 and things started to change
Kris, you proved us all wrong
That is back when I was making pizza's at the gas station
That guy did me a solid . . . he set me up with my first computer job
He asked me what was up with wife being pregnant
Worked for them for five years
The reason that Kris doesn't get along with IT departments
He opened the door for me
The tow of Slowsky part two
Living in Milwaukee and the car is going to get towed
But sir it has "Just Married" written in soap on it . . . "So"
Read your medication guidelines for side effects
I'll share most of it

Tags: manitute Red Breasted Booby-Knocker ornithology PhD Slowsky part two casino cage Volvo of Lisle

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 22, 2007

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 07:13:49 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-22.mp3

Show: #330
Length: 33:22
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 22, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Henry Busby
Kris thought he would be cool and Betsy shoots him down immediately
Yes, it wasn't that cool
Leaving comments at Croncast, please do
Wii comments on the Wii friend code post
"I love my Wii," Betsy
You're trying to steal my thunder
I'm gonna pick up this dusty Wii and go pro
Betsy plays tennis for 2 hours and makes it
Something fabulous should happen when you make it pro right?
Betsy makes tennis pro
Tiny little start!
Shave 10 pounds off my Wii
Betsy's Mii is too lifelike
Kris did a great job making her Wii
I didn't do anything to it that would make it out of the ordinary
No clue as to what you're husband would change about you
"It looks just like me"
Wii tournament is next weekend
Betsy is going to auction off all my old electronic equipment on eBay
The Zune . . . I have to have it for a corporate client
Nobody is going to use it, but the lucky winner of my auction will
You are the worst with money Mr. B
Brown is not cool
I can't believe you bought a brown one
Can you imagine wearing this brown brick on your hip at the club working out?
It's a step away from the normal colors
Has design sensibilities
The broken iMac
Betsy starts the swearing fit
Nick T is real . . . his mom left us a message, right on!
Slowsky's spirit is back and haunting Betsy's new car
Betsy can't hold it together with car guys
The dealer says they can't get up in for a week . . . right
The haunting continues
Is that normal to happen with a car that has 3700 miles on it?
Did you spill something in it, mam?
Betsy escalates with the car guy immediately
Kris steps in to slow it down
So Volvo of Lisle supposedly fixed the car
If you want us to wash your car it will take another 20 minutes
The sign said it would be clean when I got it back
And the dealer wouldn't give me a loaner car
Betsy goes out with a friend Saturday night
Tries to start the car that she picked up 7 hours before
The car won't come out of park again
It is now abandoned at her friends condo complex
THE CAR IS BRAND NEW!
Her friend tells her it is a lemon
Volvo roadside assistance will be called Monday morning
Do you know the effort it is going to take?
You're telling me that I need to start the Slowsky saga all over again
Hoping that this is a symptom of a greater problem
Well, Zues peed on someone again . . . she was pregnant
She's going to fall and give birth in a puddle of dog urine
And Betsy bolted

Tags: Henry Busby Volvo of Lisle Volvo V70 Volvo Lemon Brown Zune