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hoop ballast

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:46:27 -0400

i told you folks the honest truth on the show that a bag of quickcrete, used tire, top 10 feet of a TV antanae and a Wal-Mart basketball hoop were my gravel driveway pride.

this remnant stands as a testament to this story. i had forgotten that we had written our names in it. check out that sweet "Kyle".

Tags: hoop remnant stands pride driveway

Season 20 Ep 16: Sellers Hate Hoarders, not the Game, Golf Stance

Wed, 14 May 2008 07:20:58 -0400

Croncast - 2008-05-14.mp3
Show: #491
Length: 19.7
Size: 28:40 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy "Classified Ads" Smith
That is your new name
You're like silly putty
Let me see your palm
I guarantee that their is an ad transfered to it
Did I see a Happy Mother's Day Classified ad?
Nope
Did I sleep on a floor for you?
Mr B I am going to kick your ass
I don't want to hit golf balls
Then I win by default
You are very competitive
My brilliant delightful wife made it rain golf balls
I thought it would be like a coffee machine
I wanted a cute paper basket with a handle
The second of the idiots is now here
They should put up a sign
There was a sign I am sure
Based on how you played it should be bright pink
You are so full of crap
I couldn't put my arms around you
Resting in your schwetty palms
A boy at the disco
You missed the ball completely
Then I got it dialed in
I was the winner no doubt
The driving range isn't on my to do list
If you had one we would have been doing the next
I am a bald man, I don't need to be sleeping on carpet
The divets on my head were too much
I won't make you sleep on the floor
Call you Betsy "Lemon Juice" Smith
This is my super bowl weekend
Where is the sale this weekend?
Bears, 23 consorted sub divisions all at once
They have a consortium of sub divisions?
Yes
Betsy now reads the classifieds
Leaving your boxes on the driveway
Somebody is going to steal them
UPS picked them up
Are you sure?
What are the rules?
You show up first and the item is your's
They might share a bag Gardetto's
You have done this to her
Bird Lady I am going to get you
I am going to walk around with

Tags: silly putty classified ads sub division consortium

Season 20 Ep 8: Husband in the Bubble, Carbon Dioxide Vampires, Nock

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:14:07 -0400

Croncast - 2008-04-21.mp3
Show: #483
Length: 38:15
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

One day to Earth Day
Elliot has been telling me about the poor suffering pandas for ten days
He was telling me the acid rain was burning the pandas
Which was causing them not to have babies
He asked me if I knew what trees were
He's so much like his mom
He says, "Trees are carbon dioxide vampires"
I told him that would be a great band name
He didn't get it
Two worlds collided
You bought this badminton set at Goodwill
At a garage sale
Well, it came from out of the house
Husband in a bubble
Whatever you had taught him was wrong
Proper badminton form
Let me show you
What? What you learned at La Moille badminton school?
I can't believe you tried to describe this
What the hell are you talking about?
Your boy cannot do overheard
Oh, baby
I won't even listen to you and your un-athletic skills
It's good he's not you, Kris
He just doesn't get it as I am trying to help him
You're a like a lion in the grass
Look at that birdie fly
He can't hit it back and forth
I wanted to work with him
And you wonder why he doesn't want to play with you
You are a weird nerd jock hybrid
You're a NOCK
He'll have flash backs
Badminton is where business gets done
Watching his badminton future crumbles before my eyes
Don't send the hate mail
I get it
I need to engage with him on another level
He's going through a growth spurt
He's 7 asking if the weather is changing
Sensitive to barometric pressure
Taking the kids to lunch
Ted's Montana Grill
Ted's Buffalo Hut
There is nothing more environmentally friendly than buffalo farming
What are you saying? Twice as much methane
Maggie is all about it
Elliot looks at Ted's Bison Hut
Looks left and says, I just want Subway
"I won't get a bag of chips with my burger"
Wanted to do something a bit special
He says, "Dad, I don't like fancy. I like Goodwill and Subway."
Half the time he is working on bits
What's 10 minus 8?
I think you owe me $2, Mom
I get to the foreclosure/divorce house
Ring the door bell
The laundry basket was longaberger
It was like you designed the house
There was a beautiful chandelier in his bathroom
He wanted $1,800 for it
Then he says, "I paid $23,000 for it."
They make excellent copies of this at Menards
Then, Mr B, there it was
I became the sucker
Do you like the table?
It happens
How much do you want for the table?
Well . . .
I paid $12,000 for it
This is a garage sale
The table turned to fire when he told $2,300
Can you grab me something out of that crystal wine in the box holder
It was so McMansion
It was like he was trying to get on Cribs and it didn't work out
Same outfit as yesterday
Because he is single now

Tags: Longaberger suffering pandas acid rain Ted's Montana Grill McMansion

Season 19 Ep 11: Walzer A., Buffalo Days, The Coffee Drinker

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:51:22 -0500

Croncast - 2008-02-01.mp3
Show: #457
Length: 26:13
Size: 18.1mb
Format: mp3

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The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

About the Wednesday show
We were recording and the phone was ringing off the hook
Call from Walzer A
So this is Wednesday's show
Yeah, it was your sister calling
Brother-in-law lost his job
And the three mother hens showed up at his house
I did not envy him at all
It is getting more and more crowded in this boat
Your mom told you that you need to take care of this
I couldn't think of a more depressing situation
I wouldn't have come home
I would have went out at 8 am and got a beer
Where? This isn't Milwaukee
I would have waited that shit out
You are telling me that I am a born leader
I was telling myself that I glad you all weren't here
This is how it goes down in my dysfunctional family
My entire life I have had to be the man
What?
You shoveled in the middle in a snow storm
You can't even tell you shoveled
Doing it repeatedly doesn't make sense
At 4:30 am our neighbor fired up his snow blower
Ridiculous
Some men wake up with motivation, Kris
What would you do if it were a chainsaw?
Then he started cutting down trees
Well, hell he was motivated
Oh, baby
I tossed pup pup in a snowbank
What for?
To send to the TV station
Are you serious?
Well, I did send it
The auto response email was "Thanks for sending to KABC 7 Los Angeles"
Your snowy dog will be on in LA
You dogs suck
Jorge would be restricted to humane society
Ass end up in a garbage can
That is what we should have called the Resale Queen show
Yesterday, I almost slipped and died
Good things that dumpsters are heavy
How come they don't shovel by them?
I am going to open Dumpster Land
A theme park for you and your people
The dangers that you face everyday
It can't be packing peanuts
There is no Calvin pissing on nothing
What stickers would the truck have?
Did the new trucks ever roll out to La Moille?
I though i shouldn't ask because it would be sad
There was a time that they did come out
No one can tie a knot in this town
Ending up in the county jail
Swanson's baby
Onions in the peas
They came to town for Buffalo Days
The quaint small town festivals in movies, lies
There's no tax base to support that
Basketball game in a gravel pit
I grew up across from a buffalo pasture
Did you ride buffalo instead of ponies?
Did they chain them to a claw foot tub to slow them down?
From kindergarten to graduation at 14
Let me run the tilt-a-whirl
I would be right there
Ending up with a corn cob in his bibs
Might be dangerous but in a small town that's fun
Being pulled on sled behind cars
Watching the console in a lawn chair
I have sat in the back of a Chevy and bounced across fields
We didn't do donuts in a Wal Mart parking lot
It was a small town
Ok, K-Mart
That would have been a 30 mile commute
I know you rode in the back of a pickup truck on the way to a K-Mart
Yes, I did
CB radios in those days, figuring out who the coffee drinker was
Your mom would have a handle

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: buffalo snowy dog LaMoille Resale Queen sledding

Big buck basket, Longaberger

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 12:48:04 -0500

This is the tag from the Longaberger basket that Betsy picked up yesterday.

She paid nowhere near this price for the basket and is hoping that this one turns out to be a great score.

I still can't believe people collect baskets but these Longaberger ones people seem to love.

Will keep you updated.

Tags: longaberger basket collect believe score

Betsy's Auction Haul

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 12:47:18 -0500

For those of you following yesterday's live photo blogging of the auction, this post is for you.

It was so cold in the machine shed where the auction was held yesterday that I couldn't type anymore on my phones little keypad.

For those of you wondering what a machine shed is, it is a corrugated sheet metal building most usually white held up by two-by-fours where farmers park the implements.

Betsy's items above are 5 Dept. 56 villiage items and one Longaberger basket. I know nothing of this stuff.

All of these should double or triple Betsy's investment in them and add a couple bucks to the grocery/life funds.

Tags: Longaberger Dept 56 auction betsy machine shed

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 26, 2007

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 08:16:14 -0500

Croncast - 2007-11-26.mp3
Show: #438
Length: 32:06
Size: 22.0mb
Format: mp3

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Your dad sent an email from India
He wants to know what a 'post' is
Any content that is in the site
Kris commenting on Besty's cooking and sharing it with the world
I want to talk about the convalescent home that you knocked over
Where do you get clothes like that?
Betsy's Thanksgiving redemption with turkey dinner number two
Betsy role plays the judge at our divorce proceeding
We didn't share that
At Costco, because it is the only place I can shop
What are we here for?
I was in charge
How about we do another turkey?
Getting right back on the horse
Betsy avoids conversation
Somebody's gotta keep a cap on that stuff
All berries are the same
Not my Barry he's special
I cannot stand watching love scenes on TV
They all creep me out
It's even worse when they are elderly
Referencing the list
Betsy is wound up
Behold, this is what our listeners want, Kris
Made by hand by Goodwill Industries employees
Everyone could use them
And we get to pick the scent
How are the commuters going to hand that on the train?
On the antanae of their Treo
The nice thing about the air freshener is it keeps on giving
Very interesting, I'll take it back to the committee
Dino from improv university
He can get them cheaper
Brought to you by the people who brought you Aquadots
I did a photo essay, live blog or our Goodwill date
Photos start here
Watching you was like watching a manic woman
It was an experience
No one needs hot food
It should all be warm
I will own a restaurant someday called "Warm"
We were being followed
He was working downtown Naperville
The guys was a thief
Sure, Kris, he was just shopping
Not so close behind me
Maniacally stirring your hot chocolate to cool it down
Sure, when Whole Foods opens
More like Boulder every day
The man was up to something
He was undercover officer, Kris
He was picking out people who didn't fit . . . and it was you
Does his fleece say "North Face or REI?", no captain
Follow that man
Book nerds are the original nerds
The Bolingbrook thing is ooking me out
Yes, that Bolingbrook with Drew Peterson
The missing Stacey Peterson
In the last week I have gone by 3 groups of people looking for her in the woods
It is strange, simple strange
How your first memory impacts your entire life
What is your first memory Betsy?
Hitting strangers with a broom while they sat in circle
You are crazy
I poked my cousin in the head with a shovel once
You played basketball in gravel

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Tags: North Face Aquadots air fresheners hot chocolate Bolingbrook Petersons

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 27, 2007

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 09:06:37 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-27.mp3
Show: #402
Length: 26:33
Size: 18.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 27, 2007

This podcast is brought to you by Palegroove Studios
This is a cantankerous show
Betsy goes away for the weekend as another person
She returns crazed
No I had an urge Mr B
It has nothing to do with you
"I hung out at Jeanies"
"Well, I went to the beer garden"
That isn't what you said
Who are you and where did you go this weekend?
That perfect moment
During that awkward pause it was time to stumble down to the tattoo joint
Jeanie said a tattoo on your face is stupid
You mean like the Kat Von D chick?
I like it when you like ladies on TV
It takes the pressure off of me
I don't know what the direction of today's show is
It is in your brain Mr B
No it isn't
You switch out of mommy mode when you go to see Jeanie
You become "that" Betsy
Calling why the kids are screaming
Elliot be nice to your sister
Betsy blows this way out of proportion
Maggie burned her hand on a hot dish
Mommy is drinking guys . . . let me put the buzz kill on speaker phone
The buzz kill? I had $200 in my bank account
I look before taking the kids to the zoo
Negative $150
It was your fault Betsy . . . I was calling to verify you made the payment
I didn't even call you one time to complain
Booba is pulling no punches
The picture you paint for people, baby
It is a good thing you didn't go running around
I really haven't told you the extent of what is going on two floors up
You need to be down here drumming up cash
The handy-men have been here en mass
Sometimes it does feel like I'm living with my mother
Zues pees on the Corvette driving bathroom tile guy . . . You're hired
All I see is Grizzly Adams making love to my dog
Kris's broken arm setting story
Betsy gets it all wrong
People never related to your small town stories, Kris
I know it is hard, but that is the way that most people live
You mean Kris Smith the basketball player
I swore a lot during this show
Keep it down . . . Grandpa's listening
Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes
Betsy says go an see Super Bad

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Tags: Kat Von D facial tattoos Super Bad beer garden Grizzly Adams

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

One-o-them days

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 17:15:44 -0400

Howdy.

Me llamo Kristobal.

And that's all I got for today. Check out the tags below and guess the day dream I am having right now.

Tags: E.T. flying bicycle one of those days Kristobal bicycle basket

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 04, 2007

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 08:35:27 -0400

Croncast - 2007-04-04.mp3
Show: #345
Length: 36:47
Size: 25.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 4, 2007

I did something a bit different with this show . . . and it is more of an experiment to get some feedback. I'll stop here so that I don't give away too much or sway opinions. Let us know what you think.

Croncast, my baby
It's like my toast master's
You gotta stick your moobs in the air
The weight I am losing is making me dizzy
When I turn things swing
You got a loose bag of goodies
I need a mra
Yeah, you came up with the term "manitute"
You need to continue that
The pregnancy gear for overweight men
Full body corset thing . . . Flexees
Girlfriends wouldn't search for the Flexees, wives would
You bought the farm baby
It's a good thing that I am switching gears Mr. B
Are more people getting interested in selling on eBay?
Yeah, things are changing
I'm like the Aurora casino just throwing my money in and getting nothing back
Betsy's big thought . . .
She was waiting in line at the twins and triplets sale
Tethering the laundry baskets and dragging them across the floor
This year there was a sign . . . no dragging
Betsy gets the full introduction to some of the planners
Descriptions will be less Betsy-ish
Ok, yes, Ok,yes
Like I am a museum display
She comes up with the list and checks Vicky in
Gets to Betsy, tells her her name . . . Oh, I know who you are. You have a blog.
Betsy admits that she says some nasty stuff
Betsy's stomach sank
Bears just stop talking right now
She says, "It was funny when you said we had 'weak pelvic floors'." I find nothing at the sale
Betsy checks the post when she gets home . . . she laid out an entire post of how and I why she sells on eBay
They picked her post apart and realized that they should be doing it too and not donating there stuff for her to sell
What is the plan?
For those of you eating put down your food
It's got nothing to do with you
Is it about sex?
It has everything to do with me
If you are married and have the option . . . get the vasectomy
Vasectomy does equal an increased sex drive
No worries about birth control
Like the vaginal plug
You went to Catholic school right?
I give, I give
Betsy really digs the type A personality
I can tell who was here I can tell from the face on the skin like a snake
We're slowly getting in to show mode
Congratulations to Dave and Melissa!
Bill from hhradio.net . . . listened to every show
We've used a lot of color on our palette
Oh, the Volvo
Kris talks with Thom Volvo
Zero percent satisfaction and we will never buy another Volvo again
The defective V70 will be our defective V70
We're not asking for a refund or a brand new car, we understand depreciation
And no I won't sell my car back to you for a wholesale price
They won't help us out but they will honor our warranty because we don't want another Volvo, "because you don't want another Volvo there is nothing that we can do for you beyond honor the warranty because this is not mutually beneficial to us."
Betsy gives us Thom's perspective
I would get more customer care and satisfaction if I bought a $1.39 box of cereal instead of a luxury car
The dealership tells us this happens 1-2 times a year
We had more recourse through eBay with Slowsky than now!
Kris tells Volvo how to fix it for the next people . . . Talk us back into a Volvo about how safe and well put together they are
Auto auction price for my car is not fair value . . . I am not a wholesaler
Make me want to come in and get another Volvo
Sorry dude that sucks, we're sorry, but we're not going to help you
I am done talking about the Volvo
It's over
Let's get down with the positive . . .
Elliot did his yearly EEG
It came back with no abnormal activity!
He's now going off his medication
So we are monitoring him for seizures and so far so good
His behavior has gotten so much better

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Volvo Cars of North America Volvo of Lisle mra manitute Flexees vasectomy

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 13, 2006

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 07:09:59 -0500

Croncast - 2006-12-13.mp3

Show: #313
Length: 39:18
Size: 27.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 13, 2006

Today is not for the triscadecaphobic
Betsy is the demon seed
Send her a paragraph why she is evil . . . not really
Betsy causes the world's woes
That voice you near is Melissa from ChildServ
We're collecting that money until Friday
I got some cool stuff
Keeping them out of soap and sheets holiday posse
Melissa says, "Kids don't want to open soap at Christmas"
The door bell interrupts us
eBay rule number 437 . . . show up on time, not early
He won't ring the door bell
Betsy broke the rules first and Melissa calls her on it
The hole that we do the show in, Betsy admits it
A care bear that has had it's eyes eaten by the dog
Eyeless care bears
Betsy has to show Melissa her storage area
1000 square feet devoted to garbage
I was going to try to help if I could
No, Melissa did not come over here
I just don't like it when people are early
Strangers should show up on time
"Betsy wouldn't have a big blow up Santa and basketball hoop at her house"
You're about to transport who? Where? Betsy you have to take the van
If you've listened for a long you know this, we know poor
Two months of eating rice out of a wok
Betsy got eBay skills to by clothes, diapers, food, pay for pre-school
Anti-foraging hater . . . Diannah read and reply please
So what does all of this mean?
It is all about having the ability or knowing when or how to do it
You have to make it your goal
It has been happening for ever
Walmart and the Elmo's . . . Betsy move
There is no buying from Walmart
Betsy explains why Kris is Walmart hater
It's the labor practices
Things that the kids would like
Betsy tries to balance both her sides
The Unitarians are right in the middle
Donations end on Friday
What makes a success
Getting out of the program means independent living skills
Graduate who is now getting his masters
Where's the money?
It's Thanksgiving break . . . can I come to the group home?
Having family makes a big difference
Melissa has been doing it for 11 years!

Tags: ChildServ triscadecaphobia social workers Walmart unitarians

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 22, 2006

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 06:58:21 -0400

Croncast - 2006-09-22.mp3

Show: #277
Length: 39:40
Size: 27.2 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris September 22, 2006

Betsy eye rollin, you can do it too
Sweet Slowsky is full of garage sale stuff for Betsy to sell
The Tri-County Twins and Triplet Sale
This is where I took pictures last time of the crazy mommies with homemade carts
Laundry baskets fixed together with belts
Lots of get pregnant drugs used around here and they have lots o'babies
This is not a normal sale for Betsy
Joining forces with your sister
She's selling the DPV
ResaleQueen.com is up and ready to go
How long it takes to get anywhere
New eye rolling subject
Betsy rolls in slow motion ready to slay some people
Sister won't hold her back
I was thinking about Booba today in my car
Someone knocks on the door and there is a hot woman standing looking back at me
It all goes the worng way . . . should have kept it to myself
The Slowsky smell
Betsy is ready for a trunk
No parking on the street
Kris is losing his mind
Next week Kris will be L.A. area next week for 4 days
On to the dog business and what the comments mean to us
Can't end on that
The coin return stuff with Betsy

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: Slowsky The Tri-County Twins and Triplet Sale DPV eBay Los Angeles dog

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 19, 2006

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 06:48:39 -0400

Croncast - 2006-04-19.mp3

Show: #217
Length: 42:19
Size: 29.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 19, 2006

Listen with iTunes? Leave us a comment - spread the word!

Show Notes

Changing all of Betsy's intro's to "I'm the decider."
Kris now owns imthedecider.com
I own 50 domains
Betsy wants to spend that money on a lawnmower
Geroge Bush said it - the I'm the decider
"I hear the voices"
Combating Bill Maher
Talking to America like children
Presidential speak should be colloquial
He just wants me to open the Igloo and pass him one
Unscripted speeches
She gets shot in the face all the time
Reality show we missed in our list - Deadliest Catch on A&E
The USDA is in charge
Betsy says the water is -60 F - what?
You're hoping deep down inside to see an accident
Kris is a keeper
The crabs arms are torn off - "what just happened? what just happened?"
Flip This House again
Betsy lands the sooners analogy
Betsy's first social worker job
Once your kids poop on you 50 times they look less cute
The car breaks down when Kris was out of town . . . 10 years ago
Betsy starts throwing them back at 7 a.m.
We didn't spend that much time together
Kris was a basket case
No more cheap wagoneers and social work
The chicks are on the prowl - lol
Make it a magic 8 ball kind of thing
How to get on the Daily Show
Betsy and I should do the show live on stage
Reporters said fake it and we cracked them up and they thanked us
The Mrs. Coach story
Strip mall comedy clubs
Live to Hard Drive
Setting it up like a radio live event is not cool
I could do this
Hanging out with Betsy and Elliot
Tell Kris that your 5 year old is crazy too
Consolidated school districts
Thanks to Scott Burnett

Tags: I'm the decider Deadliest Catch colloquial Jeep Wagoneer Consolidated

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 158

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 07:20:39 -0500

Croncast - 2006-03-14.mp3

Show: #202
Length: 36:19
Size: 24.9 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 158

If you have a moment and iTunes Leave a comment - this will help to spread the word about the show!

Show Notes

Late night Monday show
Kris is a man without a country (so to speak)
The basement floor is half complete
Kitchen tear down tomorrow
Alifooka from Yahfunke
World music is not our bag
Cow tank swimming is good o'l boy hot tub
Raising cat fish in the cow tank
Betsy talks about the crazed mommies (see images on previous post)
Triplets first time around would make you insane
Momma sow having babies
Playing in barn
Pre-shop for the big ass garage sale
Gie Gie is needy
The cart, the cart, the old lady cart
Freakish contraptions
Night trains for the laundry baskets
Women are in each others faces
Wow, she must have gotten up early
The haunted dolls on eBay
There is no doubt now that "My Size Barbies" are a pedophile treat
Colorado City, AZ
Gary and Judy on vacation
He'd buy the haunted doll
Sunday, sunrise to sunset, swapping wives, no judgement
Go to work? Your job is to take care of me!
Betsy is cold hearted for the boys who want toys

Tags: My Size Barbie swapping wives garage sale kitchen remodel