bears | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 20 Ep 20: Photos, Old Shuffling Posse, Professional Tic

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:25:15 -0400

Croncast - 2008-06-06.mp3
Show: #495
Length: 30:25
Size: 20.9 mb
Format: mp3

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Oh, the 2008
Comments on the photos
I'm a what?
You're a good amateur photo taker, Bears
I never made it to the sweetest Goodwill in the world
When was that?
San Francisco, it just wasn't meant to be
Look at you all up on the Oprah stuff
I got my eye on those celebrities
I knew today was going to be a great day
Because the Lutherans were having a sale
Garage Sales are euphemisms for "Party on the Driveway"
You were benevolent enough to babysit
It is either a ghost or an alien in front of me
You should be so lucky
Space Ghost!
You can convince me of anything
I got to the sale kind of late
The guy from the furniture tent comes out an yells
That we can hop into a new line that is shorter
I was torn
They can have stuff in multiple questions
I think you will reach a point, your peak of sales skills
We should freeze dry you at that point
Then revive you in the future when the dollar is strong
It will be like a time machine
Betsy, you bring it
The dollar is still strong with the Lutherans
Double check the luggage later
I stand in line to wait for the dishes
I need my fine china fix in their housewares sections
I brought bags and I have adrenaline flowing in my limbs
Oh, look, Christopher Stewart
This is when I started to look like a nut
Started?
Slow shuffling old posse arrived
Those match my dishes
I love those
Are you going to buy those?
I am now just to spite you
You wasted my time with your story
They're rookies baby
You are con-garagies
They send the 12 year old anemic boy to help me carry stuff
She's now a professional tic
She went and bought speakers from Farm and Fleet
I love it, speakers from Farm and Fleet
I am sure you are related to people that duck taped their heads That is the truth
Duck taping down his pants
Especially when fired up the chainsaw
The tape suit
Class issues really stand in your way Mr. B
"Transvestite's getaway car ran over good Samaritan's foot"
Words make the world magnificent

Tags: Space Ghost Farm and Fleet speakers Lutheran sale Naperville

Season 20 Ep 16: Sellers Hate Hoarders, not the Game, Golf Stance

Wed, 14 May 2008 07:20:58 -0400

Croncast - 2008-05-14.mp3
Show: #491
Length: 19.7
Size: 28:40 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy "Classified Ads" Smith
That is your new name
You're like silly putty
Let me see your palm
I guarantee that their is an ad transfered to it
Did I see a Happy Mother's Day Classified ad?
Nope
Did I sleep on a floor for you?
Mr B I am going to kick your ass
I don't want to hit golf balls
Then I win by default
You are very competitive
My brilliant delightful wife made it rain golf balls
I thought it would be like a coffee machine
I wanted a cute paper basket with a handle
The second of the idiots is now here
They should put up a sign
There was a sign I am sure
Based on how you played it should be bright pink
You are so full of crap
I couldn't put my arms around you
Resting in your schwetty palms
A boy at the disco
You missed the ball completely
Then I got it dialed in
I was the winner no doubt
The driving range isn't on my to do list
If you had one we would have been doing the next
I am a bald man, I don't need to be sleeping on carpet
The divets on my head were too much
I won't make you sleep on the floor
Call you Betsy "Lemon Juice" Smith
This is my super bowl weekend
Where is the sale this weekend?
Bears, 23 consorted sub divisions all at once
They have a consortium of sub divisions?
Yes
Betsy now reads the classifieds
Leaving your boxes on the driveway
Somebody is going to steal them
UPS picked them up
Are you sure?
What are the rules?
You show up first and the item is your's
They might share a bag Gardetto's
You have done this to her
Bird Lady I am going to get you
I am going to walk around with

Tags: silly putty classified ads sub division consortium

Season 20 Ep 12: New Hag, Betsy in Boystown, Cut to the Chase

Mon, 05 May 2008 13:05:52 -0400

Croncast - 2008-05-05.mp3
Show: #487
Length: 29:40
Size: 20.4 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Cinco de Mayo
The drink comments spilled over
Work with me
Comment on the proper post and subject
You should be embarrassed to drink that in front of other people
It's a weird girly drink
If it's the only drink you are going to drink for the night
One tumbler
You just took the story to a whole new level
Oh, bears
I feel really good about closing out Croncast and moving on
There are legal concerns with letting listeners choose
Everything is an impeding legal issue
I can't even say v$deo pr0fe$$or anymore
My sister wanted to come to Karl's with me
Your sister needs to cut to the chase
You can thank me later when you wake up in your own vomit
Sometimes threesomes are weird
Half the audience just said, "Why, yes they are"
Not that kind!
My friend is super
Maybe they were looking for a new hag
Did you wear open toe shoes?
That might have confused him
Becoming a stripper at 33
That is wrong
It is time to retire at 33 for most strippers
You have a glamorous view of strippers
You are nuts
There is nothing glamorous about stripping as a career
I don't dread these things
What you can and can't comment on

Tags: Chicago girly drink new hag boystown careers

Season 19 Ep 28: Caterpillar Eyebrows, Good Cop Bad Cop

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 09:56:37 -0400

Croncast - 2008-04-02.mp3
Show: #475
Length: 29:23
Size: 20.2 mb
Format: mp3

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Butterfly eyebrows vs. Caterpillar Eyebrows
Like a monarch flying to Mexico
I got invited to the beard appreciation group on flickr
Oh, no Mr B
I thought it was a manly man thing
Yes, it was very manly
Betsy, you have to quit calling me 'Bears'
Please, call the people off
My queer friends, help me
It's not so bad Kris
If you loose you job we could wrap you in
We could cover your moob nipples and sell photos
It's like telling people your whole life Kris with a k
And everyone thinks you are a chick
You should let this slide
Every 5 minutes you are making another joke
I am uncomfortable with being hit on
If the strippers were hitting on me you would be freaking
There are bear strippers
Baby
I need to shave off my goatee
You dress like you are twelve
I'm not talking to you
I don't remember this story
How would he know?
Wearing the wrong size of pants
It was your fault, Betsy
You bought my pants
My needs were beyond Merona brand
The Sears catalog isn't something special
Betsy you are fighting with me instead of telling a story
Yes you are
No I'm not
Yes you are
You didn't tell a story
I'll tell a story
This is why we don't have passports . . .

Tags: Merona Target bears irs cops sears catalog

Chicago Dogs (I ate fish)

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 16:50:23 -0400

These hot dogs were waiting for tourists or an ardent Bears fan to consume at Portillo's on W. Ontario St.

Tags: dogs consume fan portillo ontario

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 14, 2007

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:12:05 -0500

Croncast - 2007-11-14.mp3
Show: #433
Length: 28:35
Size: 19.8mb
Format: mp3

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Post birthday wrap up
No I won't read it . . . it is inappropriate
What did you get me for my birthday?
Love
How do I put a photo of that up?
Just a white space
Your gift already expired
It was an interesting birthday
Was it like having a heel ground into your balls
To know that your plasma just bought tickets to a movie and chocolate cake
You came home with this cake
It had one 3 of the 33
I thought about using toothpaste to put the other on
I saw this monster chocolate cake
I have been shaving chocolate since 4 a.m.
Granted, he'll know it's from Costco
"All-American Chocolate Cake"
My Black Keys poster is gone
You blow out the candles
It was like a car tire, not really
My accent is like a cheesegrater on the edge of my words
I chop up the cake
Hand it out
And everyone is like this is a great cake
Elliot stands up straight
"I NEED TO BE EXCUSED"
He starts bouncing off the furniture
My mom look up and her face it bright red
Maggie starts freaking out too
She is yelling about wanting to ride the dog
Yeah, I ate four bites and had to stop
Betsy, I think it is full of caffeine
Loaded chocolate cake
Who wants to do more cake?
I am wired at this point
I didn't have an iris left
Just black eyes from open pupils
I couldn't handle it
You guys were right about the cake
Mom just stands up all the sudden
I gotta go to bed now
Talking a mile a minute
I go to get my phone out of the car
Find some gummy bears
I eat a handful of them
My chest starts thumping
My body tingles all over
Was it going along with the beat of the music?
I have never, ever felt that way in my life
Felt good when you scratched you head though didn't it
You know what will make you feel better?
More cake
That is like saying, I could use more diarrhea
I need to find my worst enemy to share it with
Scientists for chocolate experts look at that cake and tell us why
That cake was pure baked cocaine
I was still thinking about the cake today
Why do I want more cake? It's 8 a.m.
I do not fall into the stimulant category
Thanks to Costco I will no longer eat chocolate cake
You can turn off your emotions like a switch
Kris's phone is blowing up
Birthday wishes at 4 a.m.
I need to invent an apparatus that allows you to smoke while sleep
I'll be a quadrillionaire
Smoking in your sleep is healthy
Human mysters at 2 a.m.
The deer just stood in the front yard
Yeah, your dog will poop and eat it before it hits the ground
Stuffed animals from Goodwill need to be washed, Betsy
No they don't, they just need love

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Tags: Costco cake Goodwill smoking in your sleep caffeine chocolate expert

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 12, 2007

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 09:12:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-11-12.mp3
Show: #432
Length: 29:27
Size: 20.2mb
Format: mp3

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Monday is a great day to start the week
Yes, I forgot to tell you
The first time that I get to do a birthday show
I guess I am going to Goodwill
It's cool to swear it off
You should take up cardigans and turtle necks
When guys my age are geezers
We will be rocking the grunge look at the convelescent home
I was watching TV on something that is no longer around the house
There was a moment of clarity
I was watching an animal show
There was bear running in slow motion
Beautful
And the narrator pops in "This was the point when Charlie was ready to attack."
Does the bear know that his name is Charlie
It's all about relating to the world around us
We do what is comfortable
We would break the glass bottom boat weight limit
We'll be living fat for the next few months
Ok, hush you have to let me speak Mr. B
The fabulousity of puffy cuffedness
You know the job thing didn't work out
You're taking a moment to rest
And I am looking at the TV
It isn't that big
Spending that much on a TV
I can get you one tomorrow at Goodwill for $50
Yeah, it might weigh 650 pounds
Take your old Chicago technology with you
So I called Costco and told them about the broken ass TV
I just want my number tattooed on me
Betsy, you just like the exclusivity
Having to flash your card
Being a Costco member, stand back bitches
Yeah, as we stand next to the coffins
42 inches is not the big
I'm not going to go there, Kris
We roll in with two crabby kids
He's talking about throwing dead animals in the coffin
Which one do you like mommy?
I just need to find someone to throw in there
He is your child, Betsy
So they start helping us out
Everyone is watching
Fuck bling and diamonds
Roll around with a big screen TV
I had a pack of men following me
Asking me 30 questions
Ahhh, we can't take that back
Why?
You have everything but the manual
You can't take it back without the manual?
Nope
Are you kidding me?
Every time I walked by it
How the fuck did I get here?
I bet you have that thought a lot
Betsy starts rolling on them
It's your birthday, I am going to let you speak
Baby, he was still eying us up
Was he going to tackle us?
Stop them - they are going to buy oranges and pampers
Best friends
I would be a complete asshole if I got another TV right now
I didn't consult for 11 months
I need my business up and running right now . . . takes time
Same thing with jobs . . . takes time
A big day is talking to three recruiters
Betsy's denial policy
Thanks to Karen Vitale for the Franklin Mint vault check

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Tags: Vizio Costco Goodwill named bears denial policy

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 05, 2007

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 07:18:32 -0500

Croncast - 2007-11-05.mp3
Show: #429
Length: 30:35
Size: 21.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 05, 2007

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Betsy sneaks up on you . . .be prepared
Happy Birthday Mr. Mark Chernesky!
The Strawberry Short Cake house
I know why you are stuck in the 80's now
Explain what is on the table
Fisher Price loving family Beatle
Left Behind the kids series
More fear for your kids
The kids wonder if they will ever make it home
End of times, end of days whatever
I need to write a kids book
All about death
Three pages - you were born, you lived and you died
How can you be that grumpy?
What?
Yeah the morning didn't start so good
Maggie at a refillable pencil part
We spent morning at the emergency room
Sure now you want to tell me that I am a bad mommy
Betsy is full of the venom today
Kenny Logins and Annette Funicello made a teddy bear
They are friends with Kenny Rogers
What?
Everyone in the biz is friends with Kenny Rogers
That bears purrty
More venom
Tubs of the Christmas stuff thanks to Unitarians
Yeah, I don't want to look at it
Maggie might end up eating this stuff
Kris is listening just not paying attention
Vickie was important to have for Wheel of Fortune auditions
How am I bad at the improv?

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Tags: Strawberry Short Cake Mark Chernesky Kenny Logins emergency room Annette Funicello

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 31, 2007

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 08:53:52 -0400

Croncast - 2007-10-31.mp3
Show: #427
Length: 31:53
Size: 21.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 31, 2007

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It's Halloween here in the states
Betsy points out my illness of the past few days
It feels like something is eating my guts
Pop upstairs and see Betsy is watching PBS HD
That's ok to watch tears on PBS in HD, at least she is watching HD
The grieving process and death
How much more depressing can it get?
Dead babies?
Betsy how can you feel good after that?
Let me transition Kris
This was a transition you just didn't let me get there
Gotta bring it back for the people
The email for it was vague
What are we exactly going for
Not you, not you, not you
It's at the Rosemont Theater
Right by airport with turbine exhaust blowing in our faces
Downwind of O'hare
I put up some of the photos
Those are like Twitter questions
What did you put?
Podcaster
And it filled the whole thing
The people, Bears, the people
None of them were excited to be there
What do you do?
Nothing
Who can't come up with something
Prepare!!!
Don't stand there it's not your mark
Turns out that at this, audition
There was no Pat or Vanna
Plumber pipe fitter
I like to do karaoke
That's perfect, queue the music, YMCA comes on
Merv says, 'no'
Energy drops right out of room
You gotta flow with it
I can see the pipe fitters doing the YMCA karaoke in towels at the lodge
Pipe fitters singing YMCA
I got nothing for it
If you get on stage you get a bobble head Pat or Vanna
That's another Croncast t-shirt
She's just a Wheel junkie
PBS nerds look just like me
No they thought I was the baseball player, Youka-something
They were like, "I didn't know you could hit with moobs"
I did a couple interviews with Tony Kahn and Gary Mott for Morning Stories
Hopefully it will get on
Thanks to Tony and Gary for hanging out and putting up with my podcasting talk
I'm feeling the venom here
Now I have nothing left on my life list but riding a llama
Llamenade serverd at 98.6 degrees

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Tags: Wheel of Fortune PBS WGBH Tony Kahn Gary Mott Morning Stories

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 19, 2007

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 09:03:17 -0400

Croncast - 2007-10-19.mp3
Show: #422
Length: 30:17
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 19, 2007

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Tell a Friend Friday!
Pause the show people and do it right now
Sorry we been away . . . we'll give you some news on Monday
Lots of heavy commenting yesterday
Get your sms thumb ready
What if I don't have sms thumb?
Yes, we will share on Monday
In the meantime I have a rockin' story Mr. B
Ok, well get on with it
I'm tired of this house looking like a warehouse
Can't buy it, Kris will bitch at me
I have to find something small that I can sell
Go to Goodwill, nothing
Go to garage sales, nothing
Have the Russians taken over at Goodwill?
It's on, their pricing is out of control
Regional trends in purse buying
Runs through my mind 6 times a day
I left Goodwill grumpy
I roll out to the garage sales thinking about my plushies
We pass by an overflowing dumpster
I am a dumpster snob so a video game joint doesn't entice me
I have standards
New t-shirt . . . Dumpster Snob
I lifted out a big box . . . full of Xbox and PS2 games
Baby, you stole someone's stash
Vicky says, there's movies too
And turns on the car dome light
Turn off the light dude!
Used, abused games
So I want to explain to you why I smell like another man's perfume
Tonight I had an epiphany
Did you go back to Bar Louie?
The garbages are there before us
Vickie, "It's not against the law"
Betsy, "Shut up and watch for cops"
All these stores throw out product
Vickie, "I know where I want to go"
Betsy, "Where?"
Vickie, "Bath and Body Works"
Baby, you guys are losing it
I think it is dumb to spend more than $1.50 on mascara
Vickie is watching me behind the Alta dumpster
What do they sell . . . perfume
It's dark, so I say to myself, follow the smell
I am lifting stuff out of the garbage and smelling it
Just because it is in the garbage doesn't mean that I want it
You never park next to the dumpster
It needs to be so you can screech away
On the next Croncast, Betsy's get away tips
In the next pull, my brother-in-law's Christmas gift
The cologne
A zip lock full of cologne and he would be like way to go
Vickie, "What the hell is this?"
Betsy, "It's Nautica"

-----------------------------------------------------
This is the funniest story Betsy has ever told!!!!!
I am crying while doing these show notes
-----------------------------------------------------

You have gone beyond Sanford and Son
Much praise to you baby for holding it down so we don't have to walk over your merchandise
This stuff could cost you your freedom if you keep it up
You probably shouldn't be doing this
Don't tell your law enforcement friends about the show today
What's wrong is the fact you picked up a bag of cologne?
What part of your game that said. "This is a good idea"
I gotta bring her back something
The used hair dye was not a winner
It was the best smelling of all the bags
So speaking of crazy stories
I walk out of the airport and lady with lots of red hair is in front of me
She's asking a guy
I realize that it's Kathy Griffin
Segue from you dumpster diving, I met Kathy Griffin
I got nothing compared to you, Bears
She is taller in real life
That can't be said much for the Hollywood set
Betsy, "I would have said, You are a bigger fag hag than me. I fucking love you. Can you please autograph my tit."
Yeah, I wouldn't have said that
She's thinking, who is this fat dude in the camel hair blazer?
It's 85 and he's got a coffee at 7 pm and eating a sandwich
Thanks to Ben for the comment . . . much appreciated!!!
A little math on the Croncast free shows
422 shows
Minimum cost to produce $600 (lowest rate I would charge client for a show like ours)
Total: $253,200
You go and find another chick who will go ass up in a dumpster for entertainment

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Tags: Kathy Griffin dumpster diving cologned in a bag Croncast Dumpster Snob

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 08:58:34 -0400

Croncast - 2007-10-12.mp3
Show: #421
Length: 30:19
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

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Tell a Friend Friday!
Tell'em all about it
This is a rocking show . . . starts slow, Betsy is sick, but fires up
Thanks Mexico Mike/Susan, seriously?
Proxy commenters need not hide
User your real information
I know who it is, Bears
Who?
You mom
She got a WebTV
Through a proxy
My perfect job would be the skipper on a boat
The skipper of a sailboat
So, I went and bought a Jamocha shake from Arby's
Now I want to throw up
Speaking of Goodwill . . . Mike and Liz just had a baby today!!!
Congratulations to the Marusin's and Poppy Ann
Wait until you get your Goodwill gift
No way Kris, I will them something nice . . . like a store display
Going to Ben Franklin to get some paint
Unless a blind person comes and runs their fingers over it no one will know
We are really talking about a $160 present
We should get them something new
Yeah, Kris, we will get them some diapers
You need not to nerd out on strollers, explain
Why don't they call it the platform stroller?
You can sit or stand . . .let's call it the platform stroller
Special place for them to hold on
They always want to stand in the cart
What kind of vitamin deficiency makes your skin fall off?
I mean like peel on your hands
One year of hands down the pants
Baby!
That is all about moisture, Kris
Maybe you need to get sick more often
Improv round two started last night for Betsy
Not just the core group, time to move on
Betsy and her ego
I love, love this class
Yeah, it is controlled psychosis
You are nuts
The crazier the people the better
Crazy people find each other
Giving off the crazy vibe
You find out later you have it in common
Kicking it at Bar Louie with my posse
I can't believe you are still going back
Of course I am
You don't want to profit from my sexual harassment?
This is your joint now . . . your cheers
They listen to the show now
My mom paid children to teach me to ride a bike
I don't know if I ever told you this before, Kris
Told me what?
I was born dead
What?
I was blue and not breathing
That explains a lot
What else you hiding from me?
Object work in improv
They reply to me . . . "It's not a radio show"
Well, let them come in and try this
That's right . . . dead air bitch
When is it a good time to bring up being born dead?
I don't know.
Who are you? Where is my wife that was born alive?
The doctor left with a blue baby
Came back with a pink baby
Don't go to Arby's and buy a Jomacha shake

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Tags: Jamocha shake Poppy Ann Marusin Goodwill improv psychosis Bar Louie

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 03, 2007

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 08:20:47 -0400

Croncast - 2007-10-03.mp3
Show: #417
Length: 31:01
Size: 21.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 03, 2007

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Bringing you the show for October 3rd
Be sly that that Google search person
It was good
New contest . . . Google you most creative result that gets you Croncast
You have to click through
You will win some stickers
The stickers were in your expo bag
Those gotta go out
Thanks to Steve, Mark, Rhonda and Craig
Betsy giving me looks as I slow down those names
They were at the live show
Betsy has some thoughts on the nerd convention
Every woman should visit one of these
There were no chicks there
1. No line for womens bathroom
You should be happy not to have many women while husband is away
Doing shots at the bar with Nick Starr
You are the hottest chick in the bar
Never happens to me in Naperville
It's an ego boost
It is so easy to compliment you people
You say something kind of clever . . .
Then I say, "I'm gonna twitter that"
Or say, "I am going to buy that domain"
Yeah, I used that a few times
Ahh, nerdom. I love it
Why don't we go to In and Out Burger again
Too much to handle
My lower colon just smiled at you
Twitter is addictive
It's like IM but one way
Do they build sonar into your phones?
You live in the dark
Come out into the light and you walk reading your device
Nobody has a iPhone hit the floor baby
It's not just guys
You have a vagina. You are supposed to be on my side
You are being so impolite, bears
I don't want to look like a nerd
No one calls each other at a nerd event
It's all sms baby, ping
Or we communicate by twitter
Swatting at invisible spiders
They are not nerd vacations . . . it's where business gets done
Everyone talks about what they have going on
Like Aaron Brazell mentioning mem_cache on MySQL
If I hadn't been on that trip I wouldn't have been able to share that with our developers
There were no babies or many wedding rings
I volunteered for something that I will pass to you, Kris
I have to decline
I do not want to volunteer for art class
It's no big deal Mr B
The children are making these collages
This is the most beautiful forest that I have ever seen
That's not your tree . . . that's your mother . . . oh!
Now I got to make a pipe cleaner cloud
It's all about balance
This flower . . . I can almost . . . smell it
Maybe a pipe cleaner porcupine?
It is the coolest funniest shit you've ever seen
We need rounded edges Mrs. Smith
Little boys making the "gun" hand on the playground
Fighting back instead of being pushed around
Being positive for the man
He has picked up a new habit that he is sticking with
Going full circle
Yes, my mom called 12 times today and left three voicemails
Would a neurologist have anything to look for in your ear?

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STICKERS!
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Tags: iPhone twitter that nerdom Aaron Brazell nerd conferences

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 12, 2007

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 08:43:37 -0400

Croncast - 2007-09-12.mp3
Show: #409
Length: 28:50
Size: 19.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 12, 2007

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I burned the taste buds off my tongue
You can't tell people that, Kris!
There is no excuse
The TSA travel restrictions . . .
You need to buy travel size
I have to always go through with electronic gear
How do you know?
You ever travel with toothpaste
I buy it at the hotel
They only had toothpaste at the hotel
She taught me how to catch knives with my thumbs
Nerds get no respect . . . I can fuck with this guy
I have no need to respect this man
Laughing at me as I look like a fat penguin
Please go ahead of me, I will be here for a while
They always say something about the gear
Yes, you know what I won't even go into and save people time
Hey wait, aren't those condenser mics?
Why yes they are?
Did you say that you used to have a Neumann?
I did not
If you spent our last $7000 on implants . . . no I would not be pissed
I would wish you no ill will
He starts leaning over all suave
Slowly leaning
He goes,"I'm a producer"
I started laughing inside
Aren't we all kid
I felt like an old man
I bet you said it in your creepy voice man
No I didn't
I haven't busted out the creepy voice in a long time
You used to use the creepy all the time
Do the creepy voice
No
I don't know what to say
You think it is suave
It is not creepy
Say, "Ain't we all kid"
Somebody strip search that man
The voice isn't scary or creepy
I did up Boulder
Then came Philadelphia
Many observations from the city of brotherly love
They might have been your siblings, Betsy, not mine
At the first part we ended up at a house part
I didn't eat the beef jerky on the plane
I can follow your advice
Making other people's lives better one flight at a time
I am sure they don't even sell jerky in Boulder
All natural it would be
I go to the house party with Aaron Brazell and his wife Nicole
Imagine how pissed they would be to shake you down for no cash
They are used to living in the city
I am now soft and weak
That is so suburban
Yes, Bears you can't do that
I am an old man now, I can't pull this stuff off
On the porch is a hype causing nothing but trouble
They keeps it super real with gun inside the house
Now that is what I call a house party for a guy who never leaves his man pit
Hey, I'm at a party
Betsy starts making shit up
I hung up and was like
Kris is at work at a house party in the hood
The party was pretty good
Next day headed off to Podcamp Philly
The after party Saturday night . . . unisex, co-ed bathrooms . . . WTF
"It's trendy"
It is not trendy to have to dump out in front of the opposite sex
No one likes to do it
Betsy goes off about the cleaning people
Baby, no one . . . no one, likes to clean
You can't have male cleaners
Men can't clean
It is totally genetic
You can't keep anything clean baby
I know you will try but it is all full of junk
That's called inventory

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Tags: Philadelphia Swanky Bubbles Aaron Brazell Nicole Brazell Podcamp Philly 2007 cleaners

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 09:59:37 -0400

Croncast - 2007-07-27.mp3
Show: #390
Length: 32:29
Size: 22.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

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It's been a while since we've done a show
The worst part is I can't tell anyone the story
It will ruin the show
We have to tell everyone we'll tell you later
I did see some of the photos baby
Jeanie and I laughed
Don't start there Bears
This is not the typical Croncast, Kris and Betsy story
Sure I have been supplanted by Jeanie
Mr B would have done this anyway
Do you want to tell your story?
Can I give you some hints to telling a story
We are going to start our story from the very beginning
Jeanie rolls up to my house
We have to go to my sister's kids party
My mom and my dad in the same building, stress
The last time was like 10 years since they were in same room
I had nightmares about how bad this trip was going to be
Epiphany was to dope them out with DVD's
Misgivings? Why? Last year was not enough?
So I strap in the DVD player and monitors
We surprise the kids with it
Strap in the kids and pull away
The power adapter pops in, out, in, out
Elliot,"It's on, It's off. It's on. It's off."
With a former truck driver by your side I shouldn't have been worried
Jeanie took a class in map reading
"Betsy, where is the map?"
"I don't have one."
Simply a print out from mapquest
With the kids I figured it out
Take the group home approach, catch them being good
What does Maggie get?
Green dry erase markers
45 minutes later Jeanie says you've got look at Maggie
The scariest site ever
Maggie colored herself green and put chocolate in her hair
She was laughing maniacally
"I funny. I funny."
So we pull over at a truck stop
I walk in with Gigi
Everyone stops, turns and stares at us
She had lifted her dress and colored all the way to her diaper
That woman is totally talking to Betsy
Dry erase markers come off very easy
Where are you at this point?
Western Illinois
Jeanie wanted to hit the world's largest truck stop
Betsy, "Didn't you listen to last year's vacation show?"
Another thing that we learned last year was to get a hotel room
Jeanie was rolling up in the driveway when you booked it
You didn't remember it
Kris, shut up, this is my show
No map Betsy doesn't know where she is
Elliot and Maggie hit the hotel and want to sleep with mama
Elliot has had it and is ready to sleep in the car
Little Kris was in the backseat complaining
Now he reads numbers he made sure to point out we were speeding
I don't recommend the Super 8 in Lincoln, Nebraska
Isn't there something in Lincoln like a university
Jeanie brings the good trip karma with her
The scary omens of the open road
I had apologized to Jeanie
You have got to heed the signs
Every mile marker was a Slowsky moment
I was amazed that we rolled into Denver/Boulder area
The kids have started to melt down
Hey, you've won another Pokeman card
Jeanie, can I have another car
Honey, Mommy is going 90 mph you need to sit still
They waited until we were in traffic to act up
Every parent knows that you kids don't need anything from you until you are merging onto the interstate
We were behind a Prius
It had a blue hair in it, double whammy
Did the exhaust smell like broccoli or cooked carrots?
When you ride with Betsy you are junk coordinator
Fast food dumped in your lap and Betsy sipping on her diet coke
Give me that grilled chicken bitch
I know you, Booba
Speeder! I won't get in to it
Kris has speeding story to tell
My great Denver court room story
We have been here for 12 minutes into the immaculate clean house where we are staying kids flip out
So we leave the house
Where did you go?
Pearl Street
Do you want to stand on a clogged street in 88 degree heat with hippies
Elliot's hippie story, guy's sign said, "need money for a shirt," but I watched him take off his shirt and stick it under a rock
Sounds like Pearl Street to me
Henry is putting up a mark on the chalkboard right now
I know who your favorite hippie is
Jeanie called Evan to tell him that they were going to see the hippies
"My ship has sunk. I need cash"
I told you it was the pirate
Very herbal
They're all playing guitars and wait for you
No judgment, eh Kris?
Pete the pirate
You could start a fish stick line with his name for $6
I have to stand there and tell my son that this stuff is normal
We saw Goth grandma
She doesn't care anymore
You get passed 70 and start tripping on your titties
The point of this story that children work on 15 minute cycles
Jeanie sees the
Here's the reason the hippies bother me
They are balanced out by smug trust fund babies
Betsy, "I only pan handled once. That is a story for another day."
The next day when you came home from San Francisco I made sure we got home right away
Elliot saves family in the mountains
Give him a hard time, you can't mess with the man
We stopped someplace in between
The place where you buy gas in a bucket
We roll into Rocky Mountain National Park
The kids are watching Scoobie Doo at full blast
We are excited about a fox with dead animals in its mouth
Elliot, "Shush, there is a boy named Elliot in this episode"
Momma, I just saw a squid
Momma, I just saw an alligator
Not even close to being in a forest
It's not funny when you are their mother
He got it from a book you bought him
A book about future animals 10,000 years from now with illustrations
I forgot my cell phone
That is what I do Mr. B
So we start going up the mountain
Jeanie is gripping the OSHA car handle
The blood vessels are popping out from between her fingers
She has gone pale
Maggie, "no up. No up. No up."
Betsy talks Jeanie down
Look I'm driving with no hands
Maggie's sense is I'm strapped in
Shut up guys, Scoobie is on
Wrap the show . . . coming back down the mountain
Maybe a little Elk Mountain Resort, Valhalla on Monday, Wednesday

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Tags: portable DVD Pearl Street Jeanie Bowen summer vaction 2007 Elk Mountain Resort

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 04, 2007

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 07:37:52 -0400

Croncast - 2007-06-04.mp3
Show: #371
Length: 34:31
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 04, 2007

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Betsy starts the show by flossing with her own hair
Keeping in natural
Betsy gnawing on her hand
Kris says, "epididymitis" got his body part skin layers a bit off
Just swinging with the kids
Catherine the Great I am not
Why would you do that?
Are you kidding me
I've got the death march covered
I got a layer food to keep me alive for any miles long walk
Driving by all the closed down health clubs
They always open, they always go out of business
Locally owned and operated
Mega health clubs
Now the locals have signs like 27 months free
I asked who the hell would go there?
My dad
Le Beau's Health Club Aurora
Let the porn music play
Picture my dad as a tour guide
Using a lighter with your eyeliner
Le Beau's used to be in the country but now is surrounded by subdivisions
He would sit us down with a role of quarters
Maybe is just seedier in my memory
Mr. Le Beau comes on TV
We can't just keep open with the big
The leather bathing suite
I think it's great
I always thought Judy was fabulous
Cheated printed suede
Life Time Fitness is the one you are talking about
Everybody that joins gets a chubbiness check right away
The people come out with the pinchy things
It's fear marketing right your face
I know I'm fat, why else would I be here
They're telling you that you suck, you're worthless
And people are so sold on it
But if you work really hard you might be as cool as the receptionist
Waiting for the real estate class to start
She's 26 taking a stress test at Life Time?
Do you need another reason to hate yourself?
Lifetime is a fitness cult
They do it like other cults by getting into your head
Then they take your money and that of your other family members
And next is the indoctrination of your friends
Oh Mr. B
Busting my ass on eBay
No I'm not bitching at you
The Resale Queen post about the baby stuff
Jenny Rush rocks!
She stepped it up for the person here
Don't worry, Jenny Rush signed an NDA for our address ;-)
The first 6 months of his life she watched him during the day
Yeah, he had about 12 seizures today
Sure but it worked out because her son had the exact same type of epilepsy
He turned out okay, right Betsy?
Yeah, he became a doctor
No, he's gay
Kris, it doesn't get any better than a gay doctor son!
Who's gonna take care of you
If Elliot grows up and becomes a gay doctor I will join Life Time
What Jenny did was really cool
I am having that same sort of feeling that I had about 1 year into podcasting
There just is this network of people that keep doing things that we normally wouldn't be able to do because of proximity
Kris, this is the way that women take care of each other
All, I wanted to find was to find someone with a bigger trust fund than mine
And then I got you Kris
I got a trust fund!
A Folgers can full of Marlboro points up in the cabinet at my folks house
"You could have anything that you want baby, We're halfway to the pool table"
If I could hit rewind Bears
I would marry someone else, lived with him for 30 years, waited for him to die and then hooked up with you with his money
Oh, baby, I feel your bitterness
We go through the up periods and downs like everyone
Lately the introspection is a result of what great fortune has come to some friends
Their lives 3 years ago were completely different
For them it is a best case scenario type thing
Betsy is going to put her top 10 reasons that Naperville will change together

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Tags: Catherine the Great LeBeau's Health Club Aurora Marlboro points Folgers can Life Time Fitness

Betsy and her husband Kris May 14, 2007

Mon, 14 May 2007 06:47:11 -0400

Croncast - 2007-05-14.mp3
Show: #362
Length: 11:51
Size: 8.15mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 14, 2007

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Hey triscadecaphobes we recorded on the 13th and see what happens
And it was monther's day
You know how I feel about my mom
She was sending messages out to the universe
Betsy was bailing on us anyway two weeks ago
When can I do things like a normal adult?
Baby, you are already doing what all adults our age do . . . drinking and partying is for the other set
"I have a 6 1/2 year old and a 2 year old"
You say that stuff and I feel like "danger dad"
Taking my children to the brink of death
You fed the kids chicken
Tofu vs. chicken
Kris isn't eating any red meat
Chicken has found it's way in to my diet with kids
More reason to not eat the chicken than to eat the chicken
All shopping this week done at Trader Joe's
Maggie isn't going to let us do much of the show
She starts fidgeting
With every test Betsy takes she procrastinates
What did you score on your LSAT? A 3?
When was normal for you Booba?
You have lived nearly 500f your live since you took college tests!
Maggie says, "Daddoo bye bye," to the spider that was by my computer earlier in the day
Living creature, yada yada
The spiders love the sound foam
It's not a mistake it makes the show sound better
Bears, the show is terrible
Nurse and floss
More milk
We can't keep doing this Maggie isn't going to fall asleep
She says bye bye
All women have a little of Betsy in them, Betsy has a whole lot of Betsy in her

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Tags: Triscadecaphobes Mother's day podcast croncast day LSAT not in front of the baby

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 04, 2007

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 08:35:27 -0400

Croncast - 2007-04-04.mp3
Show: #345
Length: 36:47
Size: 25.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 4, 2007

I did something a bit different with this show . . . and it is more of an experiment to get some feedback. I'll stop here so that I don't give away too much or sway opinions. Let us know what you think.

Croncast, my baby
It's like my toast master's
You gotta stick your moobs in the air
The weight I am losing is making me dizzy
When I turn things swing
You got a loose bag of goodies
I need a mra
Yeah, you came up with the term "manitute"
You need to continue that
The pregnancy gear for overweight men
Full body corset thing . . . Flexees
Girlfriends wouldn't search for the Flexees, wives would
You bought the farm baby
It's a good thing that I am switching gears Mr. B
Are more people getting interested in selling on eBay?
Yeah, things are changing
I'm like the Aurora casino just throwing my money in and getting nothing back
Betsy's big thought . . .
She was waiting in line at the twins and triplets sale
Tethering the laundry baskets and dragging them across the floor
This year there was a sign . . . no dragging
Betsy gets the full introduction to some of the planners
Descriptions will be less Betsy-ish
Ok, yes, Ok,yes
Like I am a museum display
She comes up with the list and checks Vicky in
Gets to Betsy, tells her her name . . . Oh, I know who you are. You have a blog.
Betsy admits that she says some nasty stuff
Betsy's stomach sank
Bears just stop talking right now
She says, "It was funny when you said we had 'weak pelvic floors'." I find nothing at the sale
Betsy checks the post when she gets home . . . she laid out an entire post of how and I why she sells on eBay
They picked her post apart and realized that they should be doing it too and not donating there stuff for her to sell
What is the plan?
For those of you eating put down your food
It's got nothing to do with you
Is it about sex?
It has everything to do with me
If you are married and have the option . . . get the vasectomy
Vasectomy does equal an increased sex drive
No worries about birth control
Like the vaginal plug
You went to Catholic school right?
I give, I give
Betsy really digs the type A personality
I can tell who was here I can tell from the face on the skin like a snake
We're slowly getting in to show mode
Congratulations to Dave and Melissa!
Bill from hhradio.net . . . listened to every show
We've used a lot of color on our palette
Oh, the Volvo
Kris talks with Thom Volvo
Zero percent satisfaction and we will never buy another Volvo again
The defective V70 will be our defective V70
We're not asking for a refund or a brand new car, we understand depreciation
And no I won't sell my car back to you for a wholesale price
They won't help us out but they will honor our warranty because we don't want another Volvo, "because you don't want another Volvo there is nothing that we can do for you beyond honor the warranty because this is not mutually beneficial to us."
Betsy gives us Thom's perspective
I would get more customer care and satisfaction if I bought a $1.39 box of cereal instead of a luxury car
The dealership tells us this happens 1-2 times a year
We had more recourse through eBay with Slowsky than now!
Kris tells Volvo how to fix it for the next people . . . Talk us back into a Volvo about how safe and well put together they are
Auto auction price for my car is not fair value . . . I am not a wholesaler
Make me want to come in and get another Volvo
Sorry dude that sucks, we're sorry, but we're not going to help you
I am done talking about the Volvo
It's over
Let's get down with the positive . . .
Elliot did his yearly EEG
It came back with no abnormal activity!
He's now going off his medication
So we are monitoring him for seizures and so far so good
His behavior has gotten so much better

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Tags: Volvo Cars of North America Volvo of Lisle mra manitute Flexees vasectomy

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 02, 2007

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 07:46:22 -0400

Croncast - 2007-04-02.mp3
Show: #344
Length: 39:56
Size: 27.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 2, 2007

It's good to be back!
Thanks to everyone who sent messages and comments
Four weeks of not being told you're fabulous has taken it's toll on Betsy
It's a thankless job being a house wife
Betsy really needs the show, she just won't admit it
I do like success Mr. B I just don't like to work very hard
iTunes users leave us a review in the iTunes music store
I've never been stuck on one thing
Yes, I was well rounded
I still have the sharp shins
The family knows me as the idea guy
But I stick to it like peanut butter
I am like that crazy inventor guy
The creepy guy who's in his garage all the time?
I have been waiting for this
Head first into break and I was excited
But Bears, you did nothing around the house
This will be a turning point in our marriage . . . Kris will start participating
Winter brings garbage
The sky opens and beer cans fall
Kris's sliding man pants while he works
Getting that backside tan
Can you turn around and lift your shirt
You'll have a pregnancy like slider to measure the tan for a man who does things
I get less sunshine now that I am working from home
And I've started losing weight
I have . . . like it is panic
Your Weight Watcherness of the last 4 weeks are putting the screws to me
My face is saggy . . . my tummy is jubbly
You'll have lost 6 or 7 ounces
Packing it in before was the truth
I am going to end up with a post-pregnancy belly
Watch yourself big boy
You never asked me to do anything on break other than bring in the garbage can
What if I buy you a ladder?
I'm done I cede the floor to you Betsy, now tell the Volvo story
Tidal wave in the car
Zeus was nowhere to be found
She calls me, "I was driving in my car . . . "
The way I don't ever want to hear Betsy start that way
I know that I am going to end up back at Volvo of Lisle
Yes, I was correct
We hit'em up to try to get it taken care of
The gist of it is that we are screwed
"You should call customer care and start there."
"Work your way up"
Reputation management matters but auto dealers don't care
This is a fluke but the Volvo reputation for a consumer begins at the dealership
They are the ones that should care
Once it is repaired Betsy asked for a price for them to buy it outright
Big mistake
Once she told them no new Volvo that she would buy a new car from another dealer it was over
Sure it is all soccer moms around here but it doesn't matter
Now we'll keep it til the warranty runs out unless something so bad happens that they will actually take responsibility for the car being a lemon
I never leave the house now
Which brings me to my point . . . I am going to sell your car Mr. B
You can't sell my car, baby
The farthest I went from the house in the last week alone was 35 feet
Talking taxes on Wednesday . . . strikingly vivid
We thank everybody for the emails, comments and the calls
Thanks for everyone who filled out the survey
Leave us a review in iTunes

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Tags: Croncast Weight Watcherness croncast returns Volvo of Lisle reputation management

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 23, 2007

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 09:19:08 -0500

Croncast - 2007-02-23.mp3
Show: #341
Length: 28:24
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 23, 2007

A little late, a little under the weather
Do you need your inhaler?
I had that last winter not this
I'm surprised that you don't come home with an 8 inch needle
Wrong site surgery type issues
You can only put this behind his knee
I won't even let them plug him in
You would go in for an appendectomy and come out without nipples
You never heard Pink Floyd
The Wall was built up as such a classic but
The brain doesn't function the way is used too
It's all down hill from here
My pores are getting bigger
Double and triple hairs coming out of the same follicle
The cure for cancer has been put off a day
Betsy reads the email
No more Croncast while loading agarose gel
It does contribute!
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Betsy is going to take real estate classes!
I am so proud of you
So here's my LSAT story, Bears
Can I have that cross-stitched and hung on the wall
No being able to sell murder mcmansions is like being locked out of goodwill
I'm not like Donald Trump . . . I am keeping all of my hair
Early morning TV is quite possibly the prime example of our civilization's decline
Maggie counting with Sesame Street
Elliot has never been engaged by television
I was pack him a little hobo bag
"You can't hit your sister when she goes on on the potty!!!"
Don't forget that we are taking off the month of March
Send us an email . . . come up with some things that would make Croncast better for you
Nobody likes Dr. Phil and no one wants to be married to him

Tags: Murder McMansion LSAT testing appendectomy and come out without nipples agarose gel civilization's decline Pink Floyd

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 19, 2007

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 06:39:45 -0500

Croncast - 2007-02-19.mp3
Show: #339
Length: 33:12
Size: 22.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 19, 2007

Witty, smart or tired when you make your comment
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So we're taking a month off
Remember that March is a desert of Croncast
Over 300 times of the same style
I didn't come here for you to insult you Mr. B
I'm going crazy Mr. B
I have been in this house for two weeks (ahem)
I think you have left plenty of times
Getting up at 4 a.m. with the kids
When I am gone I miss that
Man, that's early . . . there is nothing going on that early
Why are you putting out lunch at 10:30
My Kashi has made it's way towards the exit
I'm so disappointed Mr. B
I signed up for Weight Watcher again
I gained a pound
It's impossible
How many pounds did you lose the first time around? 120
Not eating fast, Kashi and other high fiber foods
That's not it baby it is portions too
"I can eat the hell outta something," Betsy
That is the wrong phrase if you want to lose weight
I'm not even eating the shell
That taco salad, Maggie could get lost in that salad
Portion control baby
Take a lesson from Bears
Take a lesson from someone vicariously on weight watchers
They keep you from eating the food because it tastes so bad
Spinach that reminds me of mowing the lawn
You're older now Betsy . . . you hit 30 . . . things have changed for you
"I just want some chunky monkey"
Ok, Kris, what the hell is your problem with the Murder McMansions
Jeanie called, wouldn't there be blood in the carpet?
The old telephone building . . . our own Murder Apartment
It was New Years Eve when I was 7
All the firetrucks (the two the town owned) the town's ambulance and a lot of volunteers
There was a domestic dispute and someone got stabbed . . . and died
Our new love nest was a bloodstained
No he didn't go after her, you have it backwards
Oh, I could live there no problem
She stabbed him
He probably deserved it
I just sat right over that bloodstain watching TV eating my Gino's pizza
Our next vertical move we gotta buy one
Selling your Murder McMansion
Betsy hits us with her fuzzy math purse business update
Bear, I love you like Jesus and cotton candy

Tags: Murder McMansion Kashi diet big taco salad Weight Watchers Jesus and cotton candy

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 16, 2007

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 09:14:00 -0500

Croncast - 2007-02-16.mp3

Show: #338
Length: 15:35
Size: 10.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 16, 2007

There comes a time for everything. This show is one of the shows from the night we recorded seven because of the weird vibe we had going. That and Betsy blew me away by crossing a new line.

What is marmalade?
It's fancy jelly, Kris
My entire body is made of fancy jelly
You're like lamb jelly
When you boil meat stuff floats to the top
I'm sure you can spread it on toast
I'm still plugging away at this business Mr. B
It is a number of things
You can ask me to do a lot of crazy things but I will never say you are right
You are no longer a purse company
Baby, please don't do this
Bears, listen to me
I have three new business ideas
I would like your feedback on a number of things
Do they sell purses?
Fancy diaper bags
The word of the show is "fancy"
I'm putting it in terms that you can understand
Selling all the kids stuff
This purse bitch in Florida is driving me crazy
She lives right next door to the exact same outlet mall
She is the only person doing it and undercutting me
Selling her shit for a penny
The bag full of kids clothes
Sweating it out during the middle of summer
He likes seconds on cereal, he'll be a XL by summer
eBay sellers not welcome at this sale
It's not illegal to show up
Just don't have to tell them
There's a small catch
This bag, the Madison and Friends bag is $250
But Gigi would be smoking . . . she needs some Diesel jeans
No McKids for our babies
Listen, our kids are so Goodwill'ed out that they aren't even at the McKids level yet
Your taste is his taste . . . and Gigi's taste? Nobody's taste
She is the only 2 year old that dresses like Phylliss Diller

8:00 mark . . . Betsy's hits her stride with the show killer. Aside, this was recorded maybe a week before This American Life released a show chronicling people doing exactly this. And Betsy got an "I told you so!"
The murder McMansion
A little Ajax we can flip that bitch
I know it's got an office . . . that's where they were all found
Oh, baby.

Tags: Phylliss Diller McKids eBay purses ebay sellers not welcome Madison and Friends bag

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 05, 2007

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 07:28:52 -0500

Croncast - 2007-02-05.mp3

Show: #335
Length: 31:09
Size: 21.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 05, 2007

Read the iTunes comments for me
Who couldn't use an ego boost before ni-ni's
I learned this about Betsy
What is their format called?
But you know all the songs . . . when the hell do you listen?
Betsy knows all the words and Maggie groovin
The tunes were inappropriate for the kids
Add that to the Super Bowl commercials
That commercial brought out more awkward silence nation wide than anyone else
People will just have awkward silence with Snickers bars from now on
The Doritos commercial?
Oooooh spicy
I wish I could drown myself in the salsa verde
Another awkward pause between mothers and children
Elliot asks what happened? Bed time happened. That's what happened
The innuendo and violence
Go Daddy commercials
The naked chicks at the podcast party didn't work on you Kris
Joining forces to work in your underwear
I do have the camera up here
I been doing that Jetsons thing
You're not down here making cheese
Actually I am
We could sell the floor sweepings to Kraft
Wearing man Jammies on my trip this week
I'll be in Boulder for the rest of the week working
Betsy toying with idea of renting a house in Boulder for the summer
Rent, plus mortgage
I watch too much Oprah not steal money from you
Instead of spending it she's putting it away
Saving money is Betsy's new addiction
Who are you to speak?
Around tax time, when I think about the money that went through my fingers
Nickelodeon hell on earth hotel
Any listeners been there? Let us know what it is like.
I've seen pictures of Disney and they are creepy
Happy people who have been thoroughly checked to walk around in cute costumes
I got county fair instead
Is there a place with carnies all year 'round
I can press charges or you can work at Dollywood
An entire venue dedicated to roach clip collections
It is cold in Chicago
Hear that? Hear that? . . . all we say in Betsy's car now
Yes it is back . . . no doubt that they pulled it apart
The Slowsky tale of woe
Bad car karma
You have your own show
I have done it right this year with attorney help
Looking for a Volvo replacement
Take the puff out of your cuff Mr. Bears
I've gotten used to the heated seats

Tags: Slowsky tale of woe Bad car karma Doritos Super Bowl commercial Boulder trip iTunes comments

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 02, 2007

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 07:27:59 -0500

Croncast - 2007-02-02.mp3

Show: #334
Length: 34:16
Size: 23.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 02, 2007

Nick T rating of 4

Nick T rating system:
Scale: 1 = Safe for everyone
Scale: 2 = Some parental guidance
Scale: 3 = Maybe this is for 12+
Scale: 4 = Not legal? Probably not for you - Adult themes (like HBO series)
Scale: 5 = Only safe for Betsy's dad

The jokey who left the 300th comment on the Wii Friend Code post
1 (900) Wii-Code
Getting them on the line to chat about their code
Anybody here? Anybody here? Anybody here?
I'm here . . . Now refresh
Betsy shook me down for old equipment to sell on eBay
She sold my brown Zune to some sorry soul
Yeah, I thought it sucked
Next to the Netgear SPH101 Skype phone it was the worst
iTunes is so far ahead of where Microsoft wants to be
The store is a science . . . MS doesn't have a chance starting so far behind
Urge? Yeah, urge to puke . . . urge to bodily
She also sold my DBX compressor/limiter/gate thing
Sold to the Columbus Arts Council
Betsy, "I have a new business idea."
Rows of monitors like head stones staring at you
Maybe they need parts
If I can sell it, it doesn't matter if it was free to me
"Free to Me" to be Betsy's autobiography title
Haven't you said about 100 times that you are going to do that
Land of Nod trip for the purse business
Is this a purse business anymore?
It's back to any hustle that you can get?
Yes, you're right Bears
Manipulating the Land of Nod staff with crying babies
The best day is to go the first day of the month for mark downs
Why it is no longer a purse business
What people expect in our basement . . . it is underwhelming
The Wii article ran in Reuters and then got picked up in many places
Betsy reads the article
"If you have ever picked you nose or punched someone . . . "
I am so embarrassed
What a 32 year old tool
Bernadette says, "Have you thought of horses?"
We know how that would go
Needle in the balls and bullet in the head
Betsy says they still cap them
Dramatic ending needed for champions
Maybe back in 1930 they shot them
FFA, the sheep and the shotgun . . . tell it Betsy
The big dollar sheep showing check
You were chasing the wrong poontang in high school, Kris
Those beefy farm chicks had mad cash

Tags: brown Zune FFA sheep Netgear SPH101 Columbus Arts Council Free to Me

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 24, 2007

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:40:33 -0500

Croncast - 2007-01-24.mp3

Show: #331
Length: 30:20
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 24, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by James Hously
Intro done partially without any effects at beginning and the rest . . . history
Betsy mimics the bird man intro to the detriment of our audience
You look like a bird, Mr. B
Yeah maybe a flightless bird
Bears, you look like a Red Breasted Booby-Knocker
That would be the name of the bird that I get to name
You would name them all that
Who's got the PhD in Birdology . . . ornithology
Oh back when it was rocks for jocks
The same depth of sag, that's why they got along
You're being really sensitive tonight
I hit 30 and have found some good friends
People in 40's, 50's say when you are in your 20's you don't know shit
What are you thinking Betsy?
Chill out Bears
We we're oh so dumb, what did we know?
Why did we get married . . . especially at 20 and 21
I don't remember . . . but love and all that
That is back when you were wearing the teal cummerbund
With the fuschia shirt
You could have fried an egg on that shirt on a hot day
I used to walk home from that job at 4 am
Did you turn down every fourth prostitute or every third?
I did get followed home one night
By who a manitute?
He was hoping for Ballpark and ended up with a cocktail weenie
We hit 30 and things started to change
Kris, you proved us all wrong
That is back when I was making pizza's at the gas station
That guy did me a solid . . . he set me up with my first computer job
He asked me what was up with wife being pregnant
Worked for them for five years
The reason that Kris doesn't get along with IT departments
He opened the door for me
The tow of Slowsky part two
Living in Milwaukee and the car is going to get towed
But sir it has "Just Married" written in soap on it . . . "So"
Read your medication guidelines for side effects
I'll share most of it

Tags: manitute Red Breasted Booby-Knocker ornithology PhD Slowsky part two casino cage Volvo of Lisle

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 17, 2007

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 07:41:26 -0500

Croncast - 2007-01-17.mp3

Show: #328
Length: 29:50
Size: 20.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 17, 2007

Betsy starts the laughing early in the intro
What are you doing?
Kris isn't it about time you go to work
So, um it is day three and I already can't stand the site of you
I might rent you office space
Roll some orange extension cord out to the shed
You're monitor is so bright
Lift up your man boobs and let me see if there is a tan line
It's all been subterranean
The meat loaf made everyone sick
No, Mr. B it didn't
Carla got it
It is the 'socially unacceptable flu'
My insides are liquefying
What these people would look like in Banana Republic
Betsy has no personal space this week
Even if Elliot's skin is falling off tomorrow he's going to school
So this was problem . . . you in the basement taking up all this space
Elliot, Gigi, Zeus, Mom and Betsy all in the same space
Hey Kris, could you . . . and you disappear
Now the conversations are what the phone calls used to be at the office
She walks down and face to face
When are you going to be gone at your conferences
They are mini geek vacations
I'm really busy . . . and the you need to get the fuck out of here look
I don't have that look
Yeah you did Dough Boy
The mountain time zone difference
I'm trying to match the schedule
But I just started Betsy, it takes time
I should make you punch in and out Bears
The laundry, well the process of what it takes to get the laundry done
Betsy tells the story of Tiffany the chow
Making my way from the basement to the executive bathroom on the second floor
Maybe you and Maggie could go and get a job shoveling snow
I have had two jobs for the last 3 years . . . that isn't what I am telling you
Can you tell me the hours of my job?
Wind it down, yes I am
Why call 911 when giving birth?

Tags: subterranean husband Banana Republic flu smelly dog dough boy get out look