Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 23, 2007

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 10:02:48 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-23.mp3
Show: #437
Length: 16:52
Size: 11.6mb
Format: mp3

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Short show . . . Betsy has places to be
Special intro by Elliot
Croncast live from the man pit
I forgot to mention Wal Mart
You can hear us there now
Shut up, Kris
Can't you hear us being piped into their stores?
People shopping and there we are with turkey fryers
We got FFA stories
The great turkey fry off jamboree we were invited to
Fryers, Keystone Light and firearms
Competitive fry off
Zis is my Wolfgang Puck oil
I don't think so Betsy
Celebrating by frying everything in sight
Grill on three legs and a cement block
Bugs? Forget it
Frying ice cubes
Guys around stuff on fire
I would do the firearms and clay pigeons
We are the hick/redneck ultimate starter kit
My thoughts make it tough to hang with the middle class
That is the relationship that has no boundaries
We just say the stuff they think but don't say
The turkey you made . . . oh, baby
Sacrifice of the bird
Who eats stuffing any other time of year?
What's wrong with Paganism anyway?
I'm not ripping on Pagans
What you are saying is that, "I fucked up the turkey and you were afraid."
29 cent a pound turkey, Pilgrims Pride
It had been beaten to death
It looked like it had just jumped in to the Latin Kings
It was black inside
I will never mess up another turkey again
You will have moist turkey for the rest of your days
The moment between you and your mom
"Like you do"
That is your mom's favorite quote
Living up to her standards
I tried cutting the leg when you asked
Sparks flew off the knife . . . not really
Sawing it into pieces
There was no layer other than the outer
The thrill of standing in line for deal
Sven Olacksen in the desert
What kind of job is jumping out of a plane?
The perfect job
You can have any job you want without kids
It frees you up
I had to meet you at 16
That's it
Elliot's special outro

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Tags: Wolfgang Puck Wal Mart turkey fryer Pilgrim's Pride beaten turkey

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 25, 2006

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:02:52 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-25.mp3

Show: #318
Length: 30:56
Size: 21.2 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 25, 2006

Today's show is brought to you by The Zeliffs
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
Yup, a Christmas day show for those who celebrate and those who don't
We celebrate on Christmas Eve
How come the phone is ringing?
Why are neighbors stopping by?
Oh yeah
The beaten turkey a few years ago
Returned the meat to the store
He wasn't part of the status quo
He wants to be free-range
Beat him in front of the other turkeys make sure they see it
The group home kids are opening their stuff right now
Thanks to you guys who donated for the cause
Not wanting to get official
We just wanted to collect the money
Now we have some ChildServ corporate listeners
Back to Christmas . . . wasn't my dinner spectacular
Tackling the gifts that have been waiting
Pulling Christmas names
They would brawl . . . they could do it on the Wii
I go first, no you go first . . . my dad would trip on the way down the stairs
Now there are all these people and kids
Kris why are you being such an asshole
Have you ever had to take an intermission with gift opening?
We'll have to rethink it
Opening gifts all at the same time
I'm gonna get cake . . . who wants cake?
Could have gotten the kids two things
Digital picture prints for Betsy
When you're a mom you can't go through all the digital photos to print
Pictures of everyone
Worst hair choices for the past few years
Betsy sees the short hair picture and says lemme do it again
Dangly earings, denim jacket and Indigo Girls in the back ground
Patches of Mr. B hair all over the place
Betsy had blocked it out of her memory
What a bad decision
It's not even a pretty color it is dirt brown
Hair today gone tomorrow gift certificate
The investment in head shaving
Red for a couple days . . . it's hat season
Us bald guys we get chilly
Why would I want my eyebrows done
The in between part
Self-image change
It's a Van Dyke not a Goatee . . . it can't be
The sizes need to be set for the daddies who are shopping at the last minute
What about earings?
No I asked for a ring with nothing sticking up
No, no, no I just need a ring
The fact that it doesn't fit is not cool
Unique like my baby
Return it and go to Costco
Hey Mr. B . . . thanks for your gift . . . I'd like to return it . . . Let's go to Costco
Yeah, yeah, no, no you can't do that
Just get sized
Maybe that hurt my feelings a bit
Dry cleaning chemicals are really Febreeze
I loved your present Mr. B
Gotta give it up so I'm not into it out of love
I tore it up on my ribs
I rolled over in the middle of the night and I whimpered
If you wanna be a boxer grow some balls
I'm knocking you out
Pictures straight from the Wii
Adding all of your Wii Friend Codes
Like a build a bear
What are the Pagans doing?
Better yet what are the Universalist Unitarians?
Dancing around the saturnalia tree

Tags: Wii Friend Code free-rang turkey digital prints saturnalia tree dangly earings

beaten turkey | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 23, 2007

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 25, 2006