beef | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

hang time and a hot dog

Fri, 09 May 2008 19:34:51 -0500

the kids were great tonight at dinner. was time for a special treat after putting up with me all week and elliot catching one on the head.

i am becoming more certain as a parent that ketchup can make almost any situation better.

Tags: portillos hot dog italian beef

can you say guiness and a steak

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:13:00 -0500

About to chow down and then get to work on some graphics.

I'll have to put on the bottom of each 'powered by guiness and beef'. T-shirts to follow soon ;).

Tags: guiness powered beef follow bottom

Season 19 Ep 17: Small Fry, Baby Face, Knight Rider

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 09:49:40 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-15.mp3
Show: #463
Length: 43:23
Size: 29.8mb
Format: mp3

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Jeanie is in town
Leaving some comments
The guy who sells stuff on tv
Getting our first C&D
You've got to be kidding me
The links come from Ebay
Didn't want to be told
It's all ESC fault in the first place
If you get one too ESC let me know
I will roll over like the big pansy that I am
Go to Google and
Stipulation is owning those two words put together
Like I own Mr. B?
Now if you say it I am going to sue you
I will find all
I copyrighted Jeanie's CB handle 'Small Fry'
Career choices
Look she married me
One wild crazy idea
Jeanie's face
I got you something earlier this week
I got a job
Where is my present?
I paid for that
I'm going all out
Did you squeeze some ground beef out of tube
Guys, I am trying to get a career
We know Betsy
What happened to Wheel of Fortune?
Not gonna happen
Just get back to people tell them it isn't working out
Find me the chubby stay at mommy stay at home comedian
Like my improv career that I pay for
The gig fell apart
It was an association party
They don't want
Is the man in the basement telling me that I don't get out enough?
It is your lack getting out
Yeah, we're gonna perform during dinner time
I had a flash back of the belly dancers at the conference
Holding napkins over crotches slinking off
The belly dancing went down
At the next party there was a bondage demonstration
The year before they had the painted women
Ewwwwwwwww
Jeanie might recognize them from the lot lizard count
Anyone named Velma under 72 is a lot lizard
Isn't your grandma named Velma?
Yes, she is older than 72
Did the people even want you there?
Jeanie dated that guy
I didn't date anyone on the road
For technicalities sake, you did have a trucker boyfriend
What was his CB handle?
They called him "Baby Face"
Baby Face and Small Fry
Did he have to sit on a telephone guy?
Baby Face turned you into a trucker
I thought we were going to talk about my resume
Karen Zhender gender bender
Why don't you eat your weight in free cake and we can blow this popcorn stand
For out last performance
"Whew, last one"
Passing on the highway
We chatted with Knight Rider
He had to pick is own CB handle
You and who? You said we?
Me and Sweet T
Jeanie, I love these stories
Where else did you work?
As a 911 dispatcher
No way!
You've got to have good stories
He was in the evidence 'shed'
Shed?
When you destroy guns you saw them in to pieces
He was sawing
Friction and a bullet in the chamber
He swore that he checked
Officer Twinkie shot himself in the leg
Stopping speeders

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Tags: Knight Rider Jeanie Bowen Velma cb handle

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 12, 2007

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 08:43:37 -0500

Croncast - 2007-09-12.mp3
Show: #409
Length: 28:50
Size: 19.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 12, 2007

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I burned the taste buds off my tongue
You can't tell people that, Kris!
There is no excuse
The TSA travel restrictions . . .
You need to buy travel size
I have to always go through with electronic gear
How do you know?
You ever travel with toothpaste
I buy it at the hotel
They only had toothpaste at the hotel
She taught me how to catch knives with my thumbs
Nerds get no respect . . . I can fuck with this guy
I have no need to respect this man
Laughing at me as I look like a fat penguin
Please go ahead of me, I will be here for a while
They always say something about the gear
Yes, you know what I won't even go into and save people time
Hey wait, aren't those condenser mics?
Why yes they are?
Did you say that you used to have a Neumann?
I did not
If you spent our last $7000 on implants . . . no I would not be pissed
I would wish you no ill will
He starts leaning over all suave
Slowly leaning
He goes,"I'm a producer"
I started laughing inside
Aren't we all kid
I felt like an old man
I bet you said it in your creepy voice man
No I didn't
I haven't busted out the creepy voice in a long time
You used to use the creepy all the time
Do the creepy voice
No
I don't know what to say
You think it is suave
It is not creepy
Say, "Ain't we all kid"
Somebody strip search that man
The voice isn't scary or creepy
I did up Boulder
Then came Philadelphia
Many observations from the city of brotherly love
They might have been your siblings, Betsy, not mine
At the first part we ended up at a house part
I didn't eat the beef jerky on the plane
I can follow your advice
Making other people's lives better one flight at a time
I am sure they don't even sell jerky in Boulder
All natural it would be
I go to the house party with Aaron Brazell and his wife Nicole
Imagine how pissed they would be to shake you down for no cash
They are used to living in the city
I am now soft and weak
That is so suburban
Yes, Bears you can't do that
I am an old man now, I can't pull this stuff off
On the porch is a hype causing nothing but trouble
They keeps it super real with gun inside the house
Now that is what I call a house party for a guy who never leaves his man pit
Hey, I'm at a party
Betsy starts making shit up
I hung up and was like
Kris is at work at a house party in the hood
The party was pretty good
Next day headed off to Podcamp Philly
The after party Saturday night . . . unisex, co-ed bathrooms . . . WTF
"It's trendy"
It is not trendy to have to dump out in front of the opposite sex
No one likes to do it
Betsy goes off about the cleaning people
Baby, no one . . . no one, likes to clean
You can't have male cleaners
Men can't clean
It is totally genetic
You can't keep anything clean baby
I know you will try but it is all full of junk
That's called inventory

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Tags: Philadelphia Swanky Bubbles Aaron Brazell Nicole Brazell Podcamp Philly 2007 cleaners

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 05, 2007

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 22:01:00 -0500

Croncast - 2007-09-05.mp3
Show: #406
Length: 30:50
Size: 21.1mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 05, 2007

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Show notes:
Keeping it short I have to pack for the road
Too much flight stuff in the news lately
I'm in Boulder today
Beef jerky on airplanes
Betsy is against the dried beef among people
Betsy' has lost 10 lbs on her Jeanie diet
Blogger's Choice Awards - vote us up!
Getting to bed on time
Kris talks about getting suspended from school
Betsy reminds him of when he sent home from kindergarten
On Friday Kris will tell always funny styrofoam cup story

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Tags: beef jerky Jeanie's diet Blogger's Choice Awards best podcast Boulder Philly

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

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We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 04, 2007

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 08:22:52 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-04.mp3
Show: #382
Length: 32:47
Size: 22.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 04, 2007

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The live show is coming
Happy 4th of July fellow Americans
The country is older, I'm older and you're older
What are you doing, Kris?
You had no idea it was a holiday . . . you're a nerd
Someone's going to be expecting you to leave your computer
Nerds need boundries
One of the reasons you make a good husband but damn
Today and only today, you are the greatest husband
Booba, I've been married to you for over 3000 days
It's time for a break, Mr. B
Three days of joy for me at Elk Mountain Resort
Betsy driving from here to Boulder with Jeanie and the kids
We saw it on the Daily Show
Betsy got her gift certificate for the resort from the Radio Shopping Show
They got stuff for kids
Right, a wading pool with pellet guns
They will be teaching him kane fighting
Betsy's conservative side is taking over
Off to the training ground
Survivalists with an edge in luxury accommodations
Betsy calls them up
Yeah, we no longer are open to the public . . . we are members only
But we are accepting the remainder of the gift certificates
If I call and hear Best Western and Glock shooting range, I turn that down
Not that this is anything close to a Best Western but the added weaponry, man
My husband won't be coming but my friend will be
Only two people can sleep in the room
Nope, no two certificates for you
She thinks that you and Jeanie are, you know
Who cares! I am going to eat Kobe beef in bed
So now that Kris is going to watch the kids for me and Jeanie
You fell at my feet, bowed and begged
Yes, Betsy begged to go on this trip sans children

Betsy is yelling that it is the 4th and I need to go. Talk with you guys soon.

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Tags: boulder vacation the resort vacation without kids Best Western

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 18, 2007

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 08:09:14 -0500

Croncast - 2007-06-18.mp3
Show: #377
Length: 33:05
Size: 22.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 18, 2007

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After Friday's show you deserve this show. I haven't laughed this hard listening to one of our shows when doing up show notes ever.

Switched up the intro and Betsy gets lost
I finally get to tell my Entourage show intro beef because the fixed
What was the issue, flipped text
I don't think HBO gave the show a shot because the intro was jacked up
Bless you baby
Season 4 of Entourage they fixed the "Pizza" thing, sweet
Flight of the Conchords isn't on my watch list
Not a fan of the musical in any format
The Tudors dude is short and that ruined it for me
Tom Cruise wears flats, Tudors man should
Kris puts a ban nationwide on hummus
God damn, there is so much bad breath in this country because of it
The effort and strain that it takes to be married to Kris
It was like 105 degrees up there?
Did you put on some sunscreen?
No
That's not the point
Did you drink water?
That's not he point
Did you wear a hat?
That's not the point
Self-care skills are nil in your case, Mr. B
I understand that being healthy is important
The playset used to be log cabin
They can't destroy it because Abraham Lincoln might have slept in it
Yeah, the other daddies sleep with their lawnmower in their bedroom
He hasn't mowed his lawn longer than me
All I have to say is . . .
A big well of pity
Happy father's day Mr B.
That'll teach him . . . should have worn sunscreen
Look at the nice swing set with Abraham Lincoln wood
It is now a shiny beacon of play land for kids
Abe would be proud
I knew it would be done
The neighbors got the Rainbow Swing set
900 fat men could sit on it an not break it
I accidentally set myself up in a Betsy joke
So he says it to daddy and it's on
He should have been saying it to you
Man, Booba you are just full the Mr. B hate
You did a good job Mr B
I didn't know you knew how to use those tools
Back to the banning of hummus
Sweating out every last bit of water in body
Betsy hanging out breastfeeding and eating hummus
The interior of the house doesn't smell like dogs, cats or baby poop
It smells like Betsy's hummus death
It all came to me in a flash
I was embarrassed when your friends came over
Betsy's throat hummus fills the entire house
The real problem is that all the toothpaste in the world is poison
But, Jesus, the Tom's Natural Toothpaste is horrible
Elliot, "You can't eat the toothpaste. If you do it taste like you swallowed a plant."
Hippies shouldn't make anything that goes in your mouth
Neighbors cutting down trees again
We plant a tree, they cut down three
Now it is on our driveway as mulch
We debated for a long time, but the tree was going to fall down
Right, and your kids will die too
Was the tree sick?
The tree care guy said it had a patch of fungus that could grow
What sort of fear mongers must the tree care specialists be?
Trees will kill you in your sleep in the middle of the night
It is their favorite time to fall over and crush you
So what did I find in the river?
Here's crazy shit #997 that happens to me and Kris
I'll finish it on Wednesday's show

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Tags: Rainbow swingset Entourage Flight of the Conchords Abraham Lincoln cabin hummus death

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 16, 2007

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 06:52:53 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-16.mp3
Show: #350
Length: 31:48
Size: 21.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 16, 2007

Join up with the Croncast Cronies . . . thanks Kelly C.
Bobbling your head to the intro
Skipping ahead for the boring
I thought Friday's show was great
Not many comments but we needed to hit our stride
TV shows stealing out lines
Notes from the Underbelly . . . you are on notice
I'm watching for episode number, I'm sure we'll see more
I did research, the writer fits our demographic
Boob talk and the fear of the return to post nursing side
Getting older and looking the mirror
Asking the man to cut it off
Just ask if they are board certified
Hang me like a side of beef and trim me
4 kids and it was tore up
Sitting up in NY and looking in the mirror
Looked like a gorilla
Betsy cuts off Kris's NY story to tell her dog story
Yeah, you told us so
The dog nazi turns out to be . . . crazy
An entire 15 minutes dedicated to the dog
Carl took me there one time, it's the story of my life
Trish is raising money for Project Bread check it out and feed some folks.

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Tags: shitzu Notes from the Underbelly side of beef New York stories Project Bread

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 02, 2007

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 07:27:59 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-02.mp3

Show: #334
Length: 34:16
Size: 23.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 02, 2007

Nick T rating of 4

Nick T rating system:
Scale: 1 = Safe for everyone
Scale: 2 = Some parental guidance
Scale: 3 = Maybe this is for 12+
Scale: 4 = Not legal? Probably not for you - Adult themes (like HBO series)
Scale: 5 = Only safe for Betsy's dad

The jokey who left the 300th comment on the Wii Friend Code post
1 (900) Wii-Code
Getting them on the line to chat about their code
Anybody here? Anybody here? Anybody here?
I'm here . . . Now refresh
Betsy shook me down for old equipment to sell on eBay
She sold my brown Zune to some sorry soul
Yeah, I thought it sucked
Next to the Netgear SPH101 Skype phone it was the worst
iTunes is so far ahead of where Microsoft wants to be
The store is a science . . . MS doesn't have a chance starting so far behind
Urge? Yeah, urge to puke . . . urge to bodily
She also sold my DBX compressor/limiter/gate thing
Sold to the Columbus Arts Council
Betsy, "I have a new business idea."
Rows of monitors like head stones staring at you
Maybe they need parts
If I can sell it, it doesn't matter if it was free to me
"Free to Me" to be Betsy's autobiography title
Haven't you said about 100 times that you are going to do that
Land of Nod trip for the purse business
Is this a purse business anymore?
It's back to any hustle that you can get?
Yes, you're right Bears
Manipulating the Land of Nod staff with crying babies
The best day is to go the first day of the month for mark downs
Why it is no longer a purse business
What people expect in our basement . . . it is underwhelming
The Wii article ran in Reuters and then got picked up in many places
Betsy reads the article
"If you have ever picked you nose or punched someone . . . "
I am so embarrassed
What a 32 year old tool
Bernadette says, "Have you thought of horses?"
We know how that would go
Needle in the balls and bullet in the head
Betsy says they still cap them
Dramatic ending needed for champions
Maybe back in 1930 they shot them
FFA, the sheep and the shotgun . . . tell it Betsy
The big dollar sheep showing check
You were chasing the wrong poontang in high school, Kris
Those beefy farm chicks had mad cash

Tags: brown Zune FFA sheep Netgear SPH101 Columbus Arts Council Free to Me

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 27, 2006

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 07:50:15 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-27.mp3

Show: #306
Length: 36:06
Size: 24.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 27, 2006

Here with the two things that must happen: draining water and my American baby
Equating 'Christian' to all Christians including the scientists and the evangelicals
Betsy was interviewed by the Christian Science Monitor
Coming off the pseudo holiday vacation
The big plate
My Fiestaware is full
Betsy sort of regrets doing the CSM interview
"I wasn't quoted that accurately"
Yes you were
The demand and filling it . . . pimps could use the same line of reasoning
Betsy is not the evil resale queen of eBay
This is what they said about you
"Smith probably won't be one of the big spenders"
That will be on tombstone
It was true . . . but it made me sound like . . .
The toy experts think that is is stupid
Betsy says the same thing except she'll still sell you one
Kris thinks it was a window into Betsy
I'll suggest an article about workaholic daddies
"My life is tough"
In the trenches with 6 year old
Hanging with family on the holiday
Are they bating me or is this a real topic?
Your parents knew . . . just chose to ignore it
The destination Grizzly Jack's
Betsy wants the pool to open at 6 am without lifeguards
"Chubb rub down the water slide" all night
The ultimate buy your kid a popsicles and a beer for yourself
Wisconsin right here in Illinois
The greatest Italian beef sandwich of all time
Waiting in a restaurant with 3 babies and a toddler
"It's good cause it's spicy"
Baby, that was hot Oscar Meyer beef processed in a factory
You may die tomorrow but just eat it
Was I as a kid it tasted different
Kris was 19 before he ever had Chinese
It's the same stuff you eat everyday, just chopped up smaller
Betsy has to bring up my mom, thanks
The Little Tikes Activity Garden that was sold out from underneath Gigi
Yes, yes . . . please leave now
There's two things at work here
Betsy's humor out of context with her body language and affect missing she comes off harsh
Kris isn't sure that he knows that person
Betsy says that Kris is shoving Betsy into fame two hands on her fanny
"Why don't you just let me dumpster dive and raise your children. That's all I want to do."
Weekend discoveries
We saw The Black Keys Saturday night
It's not the same song
A man singing about himself and his peanut butter sandwich
Kris goes deep
Betsy nominates Kris to be neighborhood Santa
Kris takes it personally
Betsy, "I thought you had the body type for it."

Tags: Fiestaware Christian Science Monitor Grizzly Jack's Grand Bear Resort Peru Pizza House The Black Keys

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 19, 2006

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 06:53:39 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-19.mp3

Show: #251
Length: 38:20
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 19, 2006

A stellar week for comments on the website
Kris feels mushy inside
Betsy loves getting email
More is arriving than we can respond to
Croncast comes to you from the #2 place to live in America - Naperville, IL according to CNN Money Magazine
Naperville always ranks high . . . top 3 for last 5 years
Beaten by Ft. Colins, Colorado
John Elway has it out for us
What is hodling us back
So what makes Naperville so great?
Family type stuff to do . . . plenty
People who live near here say, "I live in Naperville."
The combination of a kick ass Goodwill and community
Park district services
Naper haters
Great city planning
The cops are hidden
More green space than anything else in Naperville
"People in Naperville are snobs" . . . we don't buy it. Live here and see if you like it.
There are other suburbs that are very shwank
Naperville is a big place
If you don't understand the Colorado beef check out the vacation shows
So Mr. B what car did you get?
"I can't think of any other word than pretentious."
Qualifying the price of the car
People need to find out how much stuff costs before they assume
Frick had some great choices
Betsy thinks I would make a great shriner

I traded this . . .

For this.

You probably didn't see this coming
The entire qualifying of the Jaguar purchase
It started wanting a new stereo for my Scion xB
Chose the Scion release xB 3.0
Then I decided that I needed some daddy cred
Took a look for Volvos
Couldn't afford the new S40
We could buy a fleet of Slowsky's
Didn't have any used, but they had a 2004 'new to me' car
$6000 under Kelly Blue Book
The Jaguar is Betsy's dream car
"Did you buy the car for me? NO. You asshole you drive my dream car away every day."
Elliot sitting on a couch pillow.
Some of you may be already hating me
"A Hummer is a reason to hate someone," Betsy
Listed online for $18,915 and I got an even better deal
It has warranty still and is in unbelievable condition
It's a hot car
No way your sisters water should break in my car
Betsy with the neighborhood gossip

Tags: Naperville Goodwill Jaguar X-type 3.0 maguar CNN

Vacation: Act #2 Omaha to Denver

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:12:25 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-14.mp3

Show: #236
Length: 1:02:26
Size: 42.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 14, 2006

Act #2 is twice the length of our normal shows, but just like our trip we keep pushing through to make the Friday deadline for a full Act #3. That way we won't ever have to talk about this trip again.

So buckle up compadres as we take you on day 2,3 and the close of day 4 as we go from Omaha to Kearney, NE (we love Kearney, Midway Dodge and Thomas Hardage) to Denver.

So where were we?
Oh yeah Omaha
Go back to Monday, Act #1 if you haven't listened yet
We don't have time to reflect up it
Awake after 5 hours of deep sleep . . . yeah right
Epiphany for Kris, he figures out what the problem is with Slowsky
It appears that the gas peddle can't reach the floor or is being stopped
Handling dirty carpet
Slowsky is accelerating awesome
Up I-680 no problem up a hill
Air conditioning still blowing out the defrost vent
We hit fourth gear and Slowsky bogs down
You looked like someone had hit you in the crotch really hard
Did we stop or turn around in Omaha?Nope
I was gonna pull the oxen through and over the Rockies
Common sense would have turned us around
Betsy asks the cashier at a truck stop about our issues cause they should know
Our game plan becomes eat only at McDonald's and get to Denver
Stopping for gas over and over and over
Rolling at 60 pushing Slowsky to the breaking point
Betsy says cars are loaded weapons
I drove slowsky like a retired polo pony
Once AAA was taken care of it was on, drive it like I stole it
My foot is to the floor burning up the car
Slowsky's cry for help . . . check engine light flashes and then dims
Nebraska is the windiest state

Drafting with semi trucks because I can't go over 65
Speed limit is 75 which means 85 for all
People in Nebraska know there is nothing worth driving slow for
I still have no respect for the slow driver
The oil pressure gauge was nearly in the red
The van may explode at anytime
All the fun of a road trip and fantasies about stopping and eating the natives food, gone
No tourist traps for Slowsky
35 miles to the next exit
The arch over I-80 is where the Check Engine Light stays on

Hilly Iowa, not the hilly Nebraska
Calming the kids to soothe the hunching Kris
We get lucky and find Kearney, NE
Even luckier we find Midway Dodge of Kearney

Right next door was Enterprise
We meet Thomas Hardage, the only person not to let us down on this trip
It's 11:30 am and they close and 12:00 pm
He was a Slowsky prophet
he let us know that he 5 hour drive would take us 8 to 9 hours to Denver
There's Enterprise, we should leave car for repair
Kris says, "no" we're going to Denver and Betsy agrees
Help was put in our path and we tell it to fuck off
There was no charge to look at our car
You should not drive off into the great beyond in your broke ass van
"In Denver it will be really expensive", we pass again
Back on the road, 55 mph tops
Kris tries to make it go 56 entire way to Denver
We followed the same truck for about 300 miles

I-76 West down to Denver off of I-80

We are gaining control
We can see mountains
Now we are back to the itinerary, Yes!
Two straight days in a van
I will tell you when you can go to the bathroom
Telling Betsy over and over that we should have flown and what we would have been doing
From now on we fly, first class if we can afford it, 2-3 days at destination, rental car waiting and fly out on day 3
Coming in on the wrong side of Denver
Car collecting seems to be a hobby in Colorado
Hotel has Denver in name but it surely isn't in Denver
Slowsky is now down to 50 mph tops
But we've made it to Denver now
We're still in control . . . sort of
Slowsky was making death nells
Right near our hotel exit there is a Dodge dealer, John Elway Dodge on Arapahoe
The ultimate welcome to Denver . . . an arrest in our hotel parking lot

Navy wife-beater doesn't go with blond chest hair
Doesn't matter how nice a hotel is an arrest in parking lot harshes the mellow
We hit the hotel, 6th floor
18 giggling 12 year old girls right next to our room
Awesome birrthday for her
They were playnig door slamming game, Kris says no
Elliot loses his mind when we return to front desk to get another room
It is time to eat
I was bleeding money our of my eyeballs, really, dollar bills
Should have tossed one of the party girls over the balcony
Big wedding reception at the hotel, but no one was staying there, not one
The restaurant is out of highchairs, all in use for reception
It was time to start crying
We couldn't catch a break
One lone patron was going to hear our woes
What restaurants are near here?
We make it to Outback
Nothing goes wrong so Kris hugs the waitress
Elliot gorges himself, turns grey and runs to bathroom to puke
He has same gene that Betsy and I have where we eat to comfort ourselves
Where's that cereal? Do we have milk?
Needs to feel good in my belly
How sad is our happiness an Outback? We could have done this at home!!!!!!!
Research will take up whole half a work day
Talk begins about putting the family on a plane
Betsy understands her father's actions now from when he did it when she was a kid
It was time to stop the madness
We arrange for a rental car from Enterprise
Only place to do so is at Denver International Airport on Sunday
Shuttle is $20 but you need an appointment, what?
Concierge calls taxi for me and off I go
Denver knows nothing of urban sprawl
There could be free range beef within city limits
I tell cabbie DIA
The airport was 29 miles from our hotel
Ride to Ohare will take $28 bones of my money in a cab
Cabbie asks for $65 dollars for the ride!!! WTF

More notes and photos later. To get the rest of this you'll have to listen to the show for now. It is really hard to keep reliving this.

But I can't leave out the Act #2 cliff hanger . . . John Elway Dodge doesn't call us, we call them to hear, "Mam, the service manager didn't call you? Well, there's a problem with your vehicle. You see, one of our lot attendants . . . "

Coming up on Friday . . . Vacation: Act #3 Denver to Naperville

Update: These photos are from our 3 hours in Colorado Springs at Garden of the Gods and someplace in the downtown area. Family photo credited to guy I thought was homeless but turned out to be one of the dudes who just hang out to watch people go by.

Tags: Kearney Denver John Elway Dodge Arapahoe Slowsky Midway Dodge thetrip

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 28, 2006

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 06:23:36 -0500

Croncast - 2006-04-28.mp3

Show: #221
Length: 38:35
Size: 26.5 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 28, 2006

Hey, my people, this is one of our best shows since we began. We think so, maybe we just had a lot of fun doing and that is skewing our view. It starts off a bit slow with Betsy psycho-analyzing me but it picks up quick.

What's shakin baby
The voice over guy, Alan
The Don LaFontaine our of generation
15 minutes of work
You've heard his voice this week
What teh hell is a Dutailier
Dutailier Glider
My mom's crazy prep for baby setting up an entire room with baby furniture (that would be used as gifts) and lost pieces on disassembly
It's normal to go to the Motel 6 to stay the weekend with pop
Documenting our lives we're in an up
You can't say what you paid and then mark it up 600%
Cure the gout
Betsy's first eBay sale and how she got hooked
Quantum physics lessons through garage sailing
A new reality show Texas Ranch House 1867 or something
Frontier House wanna be
Tony Snow was he, is he the dealer
Who was Geoff Ganon's lover at the Whitehouse
Tommy Jerky would supply me
Kris's love of jerky and Jack Link's beef nuggets
It's probably horse meat but I don't care
No more progeny

Tags: Don LaFontaine Dutailier Glider eBay garage sale Tony Snow

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 144

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 07:21:01 -0600

Croncast - 2005-11-04.mp3

Show: #185
Length: 34:33
Size: 23.7 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 144

Show Notes

You wanted it . . . Kris with hair

And Betsy with Maggers

Intro by Regis from The Unemployment Line - Thanks Regis!
Betsy goes crazy with the camera
Kris holds baby at the beginning of the show
Racking up the daddy points
Bush 1 or 2
Not voted back in
Thinking with the baby in your lap
One year of our lives recorded
Now Betsy can't run for office
Sciontology (hehehe)
Video netcasting by NBC5
Kris's balding dome, not so bald these days
A dance named after Kris
I'll do anything for you
Podcast Expo
12 years, two kids, Kris is responsible for it
Funding more #2 meals
Giving the baby a piece of paper
Beef jerky haning from your chest
Primary food sources
Worst places vaginas have been
Somehow to Betsy feet are worse
Officials have access to the goods, Magic Johnson and Eddie Murphy

Tags: kris betsy baby croncast regis