beer | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 19 Ep 13: The Coffee Drinker, Whip Antennae, CB Radio Booty Call

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 09:54:53 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-06.mp3
Show: #459
Length: 29:08
Size: 20.0mb
Format: mp3

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BigJon wanted to know who "The Coffee Drinker" is
Suspense, I don't how we did it
The Coffee Drinker background
Has something to do with CB Radios
The big whip antennae's on trucks
If you had two you were the shit
So some ladies would come on night and ask for "The Coffee Drinker"
We thought it might be a kid like us
A sophisticated kid drinking Folgers with their folks
Could have been the farmers having coffee
Water and syrup falls on ice in cup
Too much for a small town person to handle
Yeah, you need training to run the fountain soda dispenser
The old guys brought in a scanner
The Coffee Drinker wouldn't reply back
Of course he wouldn't
Kris, you need some help
Get yourself something nice when I don't talk
Cruising around in the morning
How do you know who his kid is?
Bill had some issues
He had rebel flag stickers on his car, no one really liked him and he listened to too much AC/DC
He says, that The Coffee Drinker was his dad
His dad tilled my garden every year
Is that why you are the way you are?
Maybe I should have said tilled my mom's garden
You gotta use the lingo
Smokey and the bandit style
A CB radio booty call
It's not the one that you are thinking of
They are like nannies
Small town = "Not my business"
I think I need to resurrect this story
You can't just end there
You have to come with conviction
Your car won't want to stop
These people just let life happen to them
Until something forces them to move on
No lapping waves at their shore
Lots of driving around happens
He pulled you over because he wanted to talk to you
Where I'm from men can't do that
You're with that Smith boy, ain't you
Johnny law vs. the high school kids
Typical
They don't have any training
This is how you hit'em with the yellow pages
This is how you hit'em with the white pages
He was throwing the beers out the sun roof
Straight up in the air
The cop is dodging our beer cans
You left a trail of beer crumbs for him to follow
It was late at night they could have been anyone's beers
There were a lot of drunk bunnies and chipmunks the next morning
What should you do in that situation?
Full circle in your life would be becoming the town cop

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: CB Radio The Coffee Drinker rebel flag stickers drunk bunnies sun roof

Season 19 Ep 11: Walzer A., Buffalo Days, The Coffee Drinker

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:51:22 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-01.mp3
Show: #457
Length: 26:13
Size: 18.1mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

About the Wednesday show
We were recording and the phone was ringing off the hook
Call from Walzer A
So this is Wednesday's show
Yeah, it was your sister calling
Brother-in-law lost his job
And the three mother hens showed up at his house
I did not envy him at all
It is getting more and more crowded in this boat
Your mom told you that you need to take care of this
I couldn't think of a more depressing situation
I wouldn't have come home
I would have went out at 8 am and got a beer
Where? This isn't Milwaukee
I would have waited that shit out
You are telling me that I am a born leader
I was telling myself that I glad you all weren't here
This is how it goes down in my dysfunctional family
My entire life I have had to be the man
What?
You shoveled in the middle in a snow storm
You can't even tell you shoveled
Doing it repeatedly doesn't make sense
At 4:30 am our neighbor fired up his snow blower
Ridiculous
Some men wake up with motivation, Kris
What would you do if it were a chainsaw?
Then he started cutting down trees
Well, hell he was motivated
Oh, baby
I tossed pup pup in a snowbank
What for?
To send to the TV station
Are you serious?
Well, I did send it
The auto response email was "Thanks for sending to KABC 7 Los Angeles"
Your snowy dog will be on in LA
You dogs suck
Jorge would be restricted to humane society
Ass end up in a garbage can
That is what we should have called the Resale Queen show
Yesterday, I almost slipped and died
Good things that dumpsters are heavy
How come they don't shovel by them?
I am going to open Dumpster Land
A theme park for you and your people
The dangers that you face everyday
It can't be packing peanuts
There is no Calvin pissing on nothing
What stickers would the truck have?
Did the new trucks ever roll out to La Moille?
I though i shouldn't ask because it would be sad
There was a time that they did come out
No one can tie a knot in this town
Ending up in the county jail
Swanson's baby
Onions in the peas
They came to town for Buffalo Days
The quaint small town festivals in movies, lies
There's no tax base to support that
Basketball game in a gravel pit
I grew up across from a buffalo pasture
Did you ride buffalo instead of ponies?
Did they chain them to a claw foot tub to slow them down?
From kindergarten to graduation at 14
Let me run the tilt-a-whirl
I would be right there
Ending up with a corn cob in his bibs
Might be dangerous but in a small town that's fun
Being pulled on sled behind cars
Watching the console in a lawn chair
I have sat in the back of a Chevy and bounced across fields
We didn't do donuts in a Wal Mart parking lot
It was a small town
Ok, K-Mart
That would have been a 30 mile commute
I know you rode in the back of a pickup truck on the way to a K-Mart
Yes, I did
CB radios in those days, figuring out who the coffee drinker was
Your mom would have a handle

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: buffalo snowy dog LaMoille Resale Queen sledding

Frank Keppler keeps it fresh

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:41:48 -0600

Odds are high that you have seen Frank's work if you have gone into an Urban Outfitters, Nordstrom, Target or watched a movie or television show where a character was wearing a beer t-shirt, especially a Miller brand.

Frank Keppler is a graphic designer and co-owner of Brew City Brand Apparel, the company that produced the shirt you saw. Or better yet, that I see once a month or so in a store or on TV because I know what I'm looking for. Frank's designs are commercial but his style is unique and pretty easy to spot. He finds a way to even make vintage look fresh and contemporary.

I haven't spoken with Frank in years but I love his work.

In the mid and late 90's I worked for the Keppler's in Milwaukee managing their retail stores and seasonal set-ups like Summer Fest., a few years before they were selling large wholesale volume to anyone except Miller beer distributors. As there business has grown I often look at Frank's work as an inspiration. Why? I'll damned if it isn't one of the hardest design jobs ever to have beer and Milwaukee as your only motivation for twenty years.

Tags: Miller High Life Frank Keppler Brew City Apparel Milwaukee George Keppler

TechCrunch40 Day 2

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 10:04:36 -0500

Back on the train heading for the event.

Hoping for some sizzle today . . . no big 'wow' pitches yesterday.

My favorite part of the day was lunch with Chris Brogan and Schlomo Rabinowitz. Thanks to both of them for the great conversation and not kicking my ads for ordering the lamb burger, the only burger on the menu, but an instance where a giant beer can should have fallen from the sky and crushed me.

Tags: techcrunch40 lamb burger Chris Brogan Schlomo Rabinowitz thirtsy bear

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 27, 2007

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 09:06:37 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-27.mp3
Show: #402
Length: 26:33
Size: 18.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 27, 2007

This podcast is brought to you by Palegroove Studios
This is a cantankerous show
Betsy goes away for the weekend as another person
She returns crazed
No I had an urge Mr B
It has nothing to do with you
"I hung out at Jeanies"
"Well, I went to the beer garden"
That isn't what you said
Who are you and where did you go this weekend?
That perfect moment
During that awkward pause it was time to stumble down to the tattoo joint
Jeanie said a tattoo on your face is stupid
You mean like the Kat Von D chick?
I like it when you like ladies on TV
It takes the pressure off of me
I don't know what the direction of today's show is
It is in your brain Mr B
No it isn't
You switch out of mommy mode when you go to see Jeanie
You become "that" Betsy
Calling why the kids are screaming
Elliot be nice to your sister
Betsy blows this way out of proportion
Maggie burned her hand on a hot dish
Mommy is drinking guys . . . let me put the buzz kill on speaker phone
The buzz kill? I had $200 in my bank account
I look before taking the kids to the zoo
Negative $150
It was your fault Betsy . . . I was calling to verify you made the payment
I didn't even call you one time to complain
Booba is pulling no punches
The picture you paint for people, baby
It is a good thing you didn't go running around
I really haven't told you the extent of what is going on two floors up
You need to be down here drumming up cash
The handy-men have been here en mass
Sometimes it does feel like I'm living with my mother
Zues pees on the Corvette driving bathroom tile guy . . . You're hired
All I see is Grizzly Adams making love to my dog
Kris's broken arm setting story
Betsy gets it all wrong
People never related to your small town stories, Kris
I know it is hard, but that is the way that most people live
You mean Kris Smith the basketball player
I swore a lot during this show
Keep it down . . . Grandpa's listening
Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes
Betsy says go an see Super Bad

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
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Tags: Kat Von D facial tattoos Super Bad beer garden Grizzly Adams

If I had $5 million . . .

Fri, 25 May 2007 08:50:09 -0500

Update: It's a meme for sure. A commentary over at the WSJ online by Andy Kessler makes my idea sound less crazy.

I've been thinking about this since last Saturday when I read that the SF Chronicle would be cutting 25 percent of it's editorial staff in their newsroom. And with the conversation taking shape online I decided to stop procrastinating and write this.

On Tuesday of this week I was talking with Scott about podcasting quality and new media production when I went segued into, "If I had $5 million dollars . . ."

Here's what I would do with it:

1. I would pick up half of the Chronicle staffers that are being canned [around 40 people]
2. Spend a couple of weeks working with them to understand RSS, blogging, podcasting (audio/video), production software Mac/PC and anything else DIY media - don't get me wrong most of them probably understand this stuff but I would want them to be self-sufficient, decentralized producers (Mark is already getting this on)
3. Find out what they really like to do in life, what they like to report about and where they like to travel
4. Send them all off to report (blog and podcast) with the gear and skills they need to produce finished works, and a login to a central web based CMS. There is no big fancy office in this plan.
5. Distribute the work via blog, podcast, RSS and closed system for contract work

You might ask, at the core, how this is different from Reuters or other media organizations? It's not really that different. It's simply a model that uses the greatest distribution platform - the internet and maintains agility by avoiding bloat.

The way that it is really different is that a new crop of seasoned print news pros would show up on the scene with the ability to use the knowledge, interview skills and the contacts that they have gained in their tenure to produce work - news reporting, investigative, human interest . . . what have you, from their own perspective. I agree with Dave Winer on this, it is the next step.

So how do you keep it going? With a smaller, nimble, decentralized model like this I think you could get really creative with ways to generate revenue. The real nut comes from selling the content back to traditional media outlets as a buyout for rights or licensing it to them for a fee. Ad revenue should be viewed as beer money.

When I stood inside the building at 1211 Avenue of the Americas, a.k.a News Corp, I was told that the 10x10 room with equipment floor to ceiling and 5 people inside was the only room in the building that turned a profit. The room? Distribution by satellite for affiliates, rival networks and other buyers around the globe. One hundred square feet! Btw, have you seen how big this building is?

So, if I had $5 million I would look to these and other journalistic professionals as partners in building the next generation of media publishing. Sure, they are showing up after most of the heavy lifting has already been done and many of them spent an inordinate amount of time picking us apart, but we should welcome them to the party. We have just as much to learn from them as they do us.

I can't forget this . . . that is $5 million business money. Do you think that Betsy would let me near it if it was really mine? I mean hers.

Tags: SF Chronicle firings Hiring Chronicle employees new media rival networks decentralized media

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 02, 2007

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 07:46:22 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-02.mp3
Show: #344
Length: 39:56
Size: 27.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 2, 2007

It's good to be back!
Thanks to everyone who sent messages and comments
Four weeks of not being told you're fabulous has taken it's toll on Betsy
It's a thankless job being a house wife
Betsy really needs the show, she just won't admit it
I do like success Mr. B I just don't like to work very hard
iTunes users leave us a review in the iTunes music store
I've never been stuck on one thing
Yes, I was well rounded
I still have the sharp shins
The family knows me as the idea guy
But I stick to it like peanut butter
I am like that crazy inventor guy
The creepy guy who's in his garage all the time?
I have been waiting for this
Head first into break and I was excited
But Bears, you did nothing around the house
This will be a turning point in our marriage . . . Kris will start participating
Winter brings garbage
The sky opens and beer cans fall
Kris's sliding man pants while he works
Getting that backside tan
Can you turn around and lift your shirt
You'll have a pregnancy like slider to measure the tan for a man who does things
I get less sunshine now that I am working from home
And I've started losing weight
I have . . . like it is panic
Your Weight Watcherness of the last 4 weeks are putting the screws to me
My face is saggy . . . my tummy is jubbly
You'll have lost 6 or 7 ounces
Packing it in before was the truth
I am going to end up with a post-pregnancy belly
Watch yourself big boy
You never asked me to do anything on break other than bring in the garbage can
What if I buy you a ladder?
I'm done I cede the floor to you Betsy, now tell the Volvo story
Tidal wave in the car
Zeus was nowhere to be found
She calls me, "I was driving in my car . . . "
The way I don't ever want to hear Betsy start that way
I know that I am going to end up back at Volvo of Lisle
Yes, I was correct
We hit'em up to try to get it taken care of
The gist of it is that we are screwed
"You should call customer care and start there."
"Work your way up"
Reputation management matters but auto dealers don't care
This is a fluke but the Volvo reputation for a consumer begins at the dealership
They are the ones that should care
Once it is repaired Betsy asked for a price for them to buy it outright
Big mistake
Once she told them no new Volvo that she would buy a new car from another dealer it was over
Sure it is all soccer moms around here but it doesn't matter
Now we'll keep it til the warranty runs out unless something so bad happens that they will actually take responsibility for the car being a lemon
I never leave the house now
Which brings me to my point . . . I am going to sell your car Mr. B
You can't sell my car, baby
The farthest I went from the house in the last week alone was 35 feet
Talking taxes on Wednesday . . . strikingly vivid
We thank everybody for the emails, comments and the calls
Thanks for everyone who filled out the survey
Leave us a review in iTunes

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Croncast Weight Watcherness croncast returns Volvo of Lisle reputation management

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 05:54:34 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-12.mp3

Show: #326
Length: 34:30
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 12, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Ben Witt.
Also brought to you Black Box wine . . . just cause Betsy finds so delicious
Melissa is back with us again for a special show
She is going to sign up to be the Brockway Girl (I would link this up but the links are broken to their own promotion)
Melissa works at the group home that we collected and you donated dough to
She came on to thank everyone and get Betsy's hook up help
"Geek husbands are the best," Betsy
I'm not like them. Do you want to come over and play Wii with me?
I smiled and nodded but I really wasn't interested in it
You want me to what?
If you enjoy single life you will enjoy being married to a geek
Their direct deposit goes into your account
Nerds are loyal and won't disappear with your neighbor
Give'em lots of cereal
Mc Donald's gift card and no allowance
Getting your nerd 'sun like' light from special bulbs
Can we throw your photo on the site?
Hotter to every nerd . . . pic in front of mic
Not that I have been home thinking about it
Betsy has a master plan for Melissa
A beer girl to?
In Germany Kris could apply to be a beer girl and win
She should win because her last name is Brockway

"I don't know why you don't have a harem," Betsy
Melissa doesn't understand search engine results
She reads some of our search engine hits for the last 4 days

Girls gone wild, spice channel, nipples, girls gone wild on airplane, Hot pic french maid, full body corset, animal husband, Dr. Oz gain an inch,Goodwill store commercials, drink drano, canker, RSS girls gone wild, cuffs, sexy fifties, issues with john elway dodge, betsy porn, "vasectomy didn't work"

So that is how the world finds us
Getting a vasectomy in Tijuana
I don't where a t-shirt that says I have hang-ups
Even if he sees his friends from online he wouldn't know who they are
Look at Kris, that is the geek defense
You'll understand someday
I came on the show to thank everybody for everything that they gave to us
We had the best Christmas at the Lisle group home
The best one that we have had with them ever
Thank you to your listeners!
Today is Kris's last khaki pant day, it is over
Kris, you have to shower everyday . . . you'll get stars on your page
Wii tournament January 27th

Tags: Ben Witt Brockway Girl Brockway Chophouse geek husbands Wii tournament

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 27, 2006

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 07:50:15 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-27.mp3

Show: #306
Length: 36:06
Size: 24.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 27, 2006

Here with the two things that must happen: draining water and my American baby
Equating 'Christian' to all Christians including the scientists and the evangelicals
Betsy was interviewed by the Christian Science Monitor
Coming off the pseudo holiday vacation
The big plate
My Fiestaware is full
Betsy sort of regrets doing the CSM interview
"I wasn't quoted that accurately"
Yes you were
The demand and filling it . . . pimps could use the same line of reasoning
Betsy is not the evil resale queen of eBay
This is what they said about you
"Smith probably won't be one of the big spenders"
That will be on tombstone
It was true . . . but it made me sound like . . .
The toy experts think that is is stupid
Betsy says the same thing except she'll still sell you one
Kris thinks it was a window into Betsy
I'll suggest an article about workaholic daddies
"My life is tough"
In the trenches with 6 year old
Hanging with family on the holiday
Are they bating me or is this a real topic?
Your parents knew . . . just chose to ignore it
The destination Grizzly Jack's
Betsy wants the pool to open at 6 am without lifeguards
"Chubb rub down the water slide" all night
The ultimate buy your kid a popsicles and a beer for yourself
Wisconsin right here in Illinois
The greatest Italian beef sandwich of all time
Waiting in a restaurant with 3 babies and a toddler
"It's good cause it's spicy"
Baby, that was hot Oscar Meyer beef processed in a factory
You may die tomorrow but just eat it
Was I as a kid it tasted different
Kris was 19 before he ever had Chinese
It's the same stuff you eat everyday, just chopped up smaller
Betsy has to bring up my mom, thanks
The Little Tikes Activity Garden that was sold out from underneath Gigi
Yes, yes . . . please leave now
There's two things at work here
Betsy's humor out of context with her body language and affect missing she comes off harsh
Kris isn't sure that he knows that person
Betsy says that Kris is shoving Betsy into fame two hands on her fanny
"Why don't you just let me dumpster dive and raise your children. That's all I want to do."
Weekend discoveries
We saw The Black Keys Saturday night
It's not the same song
A man singing about himself and his peanut butter sandwich
Kris goes deep
Betsy nominates Kris to be neighborhood Santa
Kris takes it personally
Betsy, "I thought you had the body type for it."

Tags: Fiestaware Christian Science Monitor Grizzly Jack's Grand Bear Resort Peru Pizza House The Black Keys

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 06:59:09 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-15.mp3

Show: #302
Length: 35:56
Size: 24.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 15, 2006

Betsy drinks a 3 day old Clausthaler
Her shirt tastes like Golden Retriever
Another fake beer night on the show
The contorted face that yacking built
Betsy's mom comes to the basement for the first time ever
Kris has things to do and they're shopping QVC online
"I live with Michael", yes we know honey
Floor length fo-fur mink
Racks full of them at Goodwill
Betsy blushes through the entire story
It is such a thoughtful design
There is nothing that is fashionable with work 'reverse' in it
What a year? I'll buy it on eBay
Her mom already bought it from the TV version of QVC
Betsy's eBay skills
Crazed lunatics . . . oh the madness of the bargain gene
"I . . . I . . . IIIIIII . . . I have a shopping disease Mr. Puffy Cuffs," Betsy
Betsy is going to make my own Puffy Cuff shirts now
We finish each other's sentence
Kris is hanging in the car eating Arby's while Betsy shops Goodwill
Now it is time for Kris's madness
Walking out with a gigantic store credit
Microphone fiasco
Shut up, I'm having my little moment of I told you so!
Betsy unloads
Was a bit late since Kris already has reached his rock bottom
I'll be in San Francisco this Saturday for PodCamp West
Maggie has pre-school next year
Looking in the mirror and husbandry responses
Let me tell the people what I got at Goodwill today
Baby you just need me to be honest . . . an honest Mr. B
Kris, you gave me a wrinkle . . . look at this side of my lip
$100 bucks from Anonymous for the kids

Tags: Clausthaler QVC Coats for plus size Puffy Cuffs shopping rock bottom Goodwill toys

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 07:07:29 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-13.mp3

Show: #301
Length: 33:02
Size: 22.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 13, 2006

Sending email and comments by sharing
It's your birthday Kris . . . how about some home repairs
My osteoporosis kicks in and dust flies from my lungs
Listening to eat Bears is like listening to a one man band
He's not hot he's geriatric
Digging through saggy skin to find
Betsy, are you one to be talking about that
Fake beer night on the Croncast
Betsy is drinking Clausthauer and I have the Beck's N/A
You were late for your own party Kris!
What about your gifts? Shampoo is a winner
What is going to happen when Betsy reaches 31 in two months?
The wonderful thing is that you'll always be older Mr. B
Betsy is a vicious ageist Cycling through topics
A rehash of the making it to 300 and doing shows everyday
Filling our lives with craziness again for donations
Not like the NPR $1 million bounty for Morning Edition
Even the Germans are in on this one
Concerns about the donations
Slowsky at the dealership
She sits like the Sears tower in Nebraska
Betsy admits to being a conservative . . . in some cases
She may be a moderate now
Voting your conscience and not your tax dollars
The bathroom is falling apart today, see above photo
So happy birthday Mr. B now fix the house
The plan: we will be taking off the month of March 2007

Tags: Kris Smith birthday Clausthauer Beck's NA Slowsky Weight Watchers

TECH cocktail this Thursday

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 11:13:21 -0500

Who wants to talk podasting this Thursday at the first TECH Cocktail in Chicago? If you said, "me", then look me up. I'll be the bald guy with serious N/A beer stash. Don't worry there will be like 50 bald guys so look for the fake beer.

This looks to be a cool event. Thanks to Evan for talking about this and to Rick for posting to let us know who's behind the mixer.

Tags: TECH cocktail Chicago