believe | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 20 Ep 24: Cousin Kris, Painters Cap, Nothing Is Level

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 15:28:11 -0400

Croncast - 2008-06-16.mp3
Show: #499
Length: 22:52
Size: 15.7mb
Format: mp3

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It is all about the Interwaves
The photo montage of the father's day trip are up
Look in the blog for the story
Soften up the crow's feet
Geez, that bag, what is she 33?
I don't know if Rock of Love is comparative to competitive improv dinner theater
The afternoon jamboree
Much like licking a toilet
"Cousin Kris!"
The first Casey's we stop at
Hey, I know you
No, I didn't know her name instantly
Hoping for it fire into my brain
Turns out to be cousin X
She's of the normal branch
But the odds of that
Not that great
Running into someone buying smokes
I just don't want to get there
I know, Betsy, you were driving 45 in a 75
Never thought we would make it
Creeping ever closer that sucking vortex where you grew up
It is an area of decay
Dilapidated nothingness
If you were a pizza deliver guy you would deliver to houses with siding
The rest are wrapped in Tyvek
It looks like depression
We tried the town route
Elliot is asking why it is abandoned
Yelling why doesn't it look like home
Two taglines
"For Rent"
"Rent to Own"
You wouldn't let me take the best photo
It was the award winning shot
It was beautiful
The transient neighbor
In a wife beater, smoking a cigarrete, talking on his phone in a NASCAR painters cap
And . . . And . . . his white wolf dog on the steps
Nothing is level there
I fell down 77 times
Growing oriental poppies
Couldn't believe it
Save me from this
And you walked away
Everyone walked away to leave me there
The scary compound
The old ass car wasn't as bad
Always had the perspective that there was someplace else I needed to be

Tags: white wolf chevrolet graveyard interwaves abandoned small town

for you and me

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:26:12 -0400

not the real thing but the real suit. could be the real flag for those of you that believe the conspiracy. no judgment here.

Tags: real judgement conspiracry flag suit

Season 20 Ep 8: Husband in the Bubble, Carbon Dioxide Vampires, Nock

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:14:07 -0400

Croncast - 2008-04-21.mp3
Show: #483
Length: 38:15
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

One day to Earth Day
Elliot has been telling me about the poor suffering pandas for ten days
He was telling me the acid rain was burning the pandas
Which was causing them not to have babies
He asked me if I knew what trees were
He's so much like his mom
He says, "Trees are carbon dioxide vampires"
I told him that would be a great band name
He didn't get it
Two worlds collided
You bought this badminton set at Goodwill
At a garage sale
Well, it came from out of the house
Husband in a bubble
Whatever you had taught him was wrong
Proper badminton form
Let me show you
What? What you learned at La Moille badminton school?
I can't believe you tried to describe this
What the hell are you talking about?
Your boy cannot do overheard
Oh, baby
I won't even listen to you and your un-athletic skills
It's good he's not you, Kris
He just doesn't get it as I am trying to help him
You're a like a lion in the grass
Look at that birdie fly
He can't hit it back and forth
I wanted to work with him
And you wonder why he doesn't want to play with you
You are a weird nerd jock hybrid
You're a NOCK
He'll have flash backs
Badminton is where business gets done
Watching his badminton future crumbles before my eyes
Don't send the hate mail
I get it
I need to engage with him on another level
He's going through a growth spurt
He's 7 asking if the weather is changing
Sensitive to barometric pressure
Taking the kids to lunch
Ted's Montana Grill
Ted's Buffalo Hut
There is nothing more environmentally friendly than buffalo farming
What are you saying? Twice as much methane
Maggie is all about it
Elliot looks at Ted's Bison Hut
Looks left and says, I just want Subway
"I won't get a bag of chips with my burger"
Wanted to do something a bit special
He says, "Dad, I don't like fancy. I like Goodwill and Subway."
Half the time he is working on bits
What's 10 minus 8?
I think you owe me $2, Mom
I get to the foreclosure/divorce house
Ring the door bell
The laundry basket was longaberger
It was like you designed the house
There was a beautiful chandelier in his bathroom
He wanted $1,800 for it
Then he says, "I paid $23,000 for it."
They make excellent copies of this at Menards
Then, Mr B, there it was
I became the sucker
Do you like the table?
It happens
How much do you want for the table?
Well . . .
I paid $12,000 for it
This is a garage sale
The table turned to fire when he told $2,300
Can you grab me something out of that crystal wine in the box holder
It was so McMansion
It was like he was trying to get on Cribs and it didn't work out
Same outfit as yesterday
Because he is single now

Tags: Longaberger suffering pandas acid rain Ted's Montana Grill McMansion

Rant: Strategic blog commenting? Strategic tweeting?

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 08:23:42 -0400

Listen up Mr. and Mrs. internet marketer, your actions are sour, insincere and totally transparent as to your desire to dupe someone into clicking your link in an attempt to make a buck. You are full of shit and we know it. And, your students suck even worse at it.

Here is one example of "strategic blog commenting" by an idiot following the advice to get Google alerts for keywords related to his/her own site:

"Thank you for providing such useful info about dogs. The picture at this page is beautiful and love to eat one, look delicious." - Internet Marketing Douche Bag (real name hidden to protect the innocent)

The user email was admin@ourdataentry.com and the user URL linked back to a site about dog care. I'd say contextually there is something amiss here since the photo, other comments and title all indicated that the post was about hot dogs.

In this group I am not talking solely about the automated comment spammers that originally made our lives miserable but this new wave of get rich quick, "My internet marketing coach told me to do this" and internet marketing coaches, themselves.

As you and your people strive for authenticity, I believe that is one or your credos, maybe that term is no longer used, but you are about as authentic as a Gucci purse at a swap meet.

The entire reason for this post is because the comment above showed up next to a message from twitter that I was now being followed by 'helpmycashgrow'. Are you kidding me? You people make my head hurt. He also dropped this gem - "At work right now, at least i'm "supposed" to be working". Sir, you give me the confidence to let you help me grow my cash.

So now that people are strategic tweeting as a piece of their better mouse trap I would also like to call out the ass kissers on twitter, those trying to make an impression with someone that they don't know by disparaging another twitter user who comments directly with the person you are trying to kiss up to. Just don't do it. Might turn out that the disparaged and the ass kissee are good friends and the ass kissees other friends read that you are disparaging their friend.

Again we can see you for what you are but when you stoop to a troll level it is even more apparent that you have nothing to add except a desire to, as you perceive it, move up the food chain.

My hope is that you will all go back to infomercials and ripping off the elderly with home improvement scams. But I am guessing your type is here to stay and I just need to get better at filtering you out.

Tags: Internet Marketing Coaches Suck Teach Yourself and Save Your Money

There comes a time . . .

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:15:53 -0500

Yes, there does come a time when a man must leave his lair. Landing where else but a caffiene pushers store with free wifi for an hour. After that I'll hit the evdo.

The new 12+ hour workdays are making my little cubby less appealing. Need sunlight, though I still believe that the sun is out to get me. I need environment less conducive to sitting still.

Listen to quick Cinch that I did on my way to the coffee joint.

Download size: 629.35 KB

Tags: BlogTalkRadio Cinch Kris Smith Croncast

Presidentologists do it better (late show today)

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 07:20:10 -0500

President's Day is a really big day for us. We usually celebrate it by throwing a party for our friends and other President worshipers. We've never told anyone this before but we are Presidentologists.

Yes, it is true.

One day Abraham L. will come back for us in his wooden, beaver pelt powered spaceship. He will take with him only the believers.

If I drive by an auto accident, I can look at it and know that myself and the other Presidentologists are the only people who can truly help those injured in it.

For these reasons the today's show will be later this afternoon. We've got some rituals to finish at the water park.

Tags: president's day presidentology religion of the people water park

Interactive Widgets for Apple TV?

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 14:41:50 -0500

How about "Take 2" first?Steve Jobs shouldn't have announced the update for Apple TV a few weeks ago.

Now this?

With Apple being such a highly regarded brand and master of message, it is hard to believe that they would keep slipping like this with Apple TV. Especially, if they plan on developing more applications for the system.

It wouldn't hurt with this product to deliver on time to keep positive buzz going. Any positive buzz around Apple TV would be great.

What's the hold up?

My guess is that it is licensing agreements for content from the studios and networks. I could be wrong but when it comes to code or content (which is out of Apple's hands), content wins as the reason for delay.

Tags: Apple TV Vudu Take 2 interactive widgets iptv

Big buck basket, Longaberger

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 12:48:04 -0500

This is the tag from the Longaberger basket that Betsy picked up yesterday.

She paid nowhere near this price for the basket and is hoping that this one turns out to be a great score.

I still can't believe people collect baskets but these Longaberger ones people seem to love.

Will keep you updated.

Tags: longaberger basket collect believe score

What good are 3 hits from Google search results?

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 08:56:11 -0500

I can tell you. It all depends on what people are searching for.

Painfully obvious, right?

Well, not so much when someone searches at Google for intitle:"chocolate" ext:rss. The odds are astronomically high that even chocolate experts weren't even returned as results. See for yourself.

So what does this mean? It means that someone searched Google for a RSS feed (ext:rss) with the word chocolate in the title (intitle:"chocolate").

Yes, the search is more advanced than a keyword or phrase based search but that isn't my full point. The reason that it matters is that not only did this individual search for chocolate but also culture and abba. Not quite sure what it says about the person searching for those topics . . .

So for me, these three hits matter. They are three more than I would have normally received for those topics and a chance for me to get them to possibly subscribe to those feeds, subscribe to my podcast, click an ad (yes, I like money) or get my brand in front of them.

I am able to do this with keyword feeds that I create dynamically from posts that get the same SEO treatment that a normal webpage would get.

The other plus for this type of search is the fact that they return so few results and Croncast happens to be ranked #1 for most of them including searches like, say . . . "CNN" or "Micorsoft" or "iTunes".

I've had conversations with a friend, Rick Klau, about RSS feeds being indexed in Google search results. Most of those discussions focused on my saying that feeds should show up in search results and Rick saying that they shouldn't.

My stance is that some people, like myself, benefit from these results the same way that we benefit from a normal click through to our sites. I am able to do this by checking where the individual who clicked through is coming from and displaying a web page instead of the RSS with the exact same data that was in the feed.

But I don't stop there. I also make sure to let the user know how they got to the page and that they can now subscribe to that feed. It's a soft landing for what traditionally has been a hard look at XML or ugly feed displays in browsers. Which is where you will end up with 99.9 out of 100 feeds if you click through them when returned in a search.

What is Rick's position? If 99.9 are bad then they should be removed. For the time being I will agree that he is right. But that doesn't mean that this is the way it always has to be.

A couple of things could change this:

1) The uptake of RSS since IE7 and and FireFox now display their own XSLT to prettify the XML. Sort of like FeedBurner does.
2) Publishers add their own XSLT for their feeds
3) Publishers using blogs, most of which are dynamically generated, are written with code that can check for referers like Goolge, Live and Yahoo and redirect the user to a page that has the same content as the feed
4) My favorite. Google could create their own XSLT document that loads the feed into it.

Maybe that was more than a couple but I believe there are a lot of ways to welcome feeds into indexed search results beyond having to type in a search like intitle:"Google" ext:rss.

By the way, I'm not number one on this one Google is with it's YouTube property.

Next up, how to create RSS feeds with keywords in the title, how to get the .rss extension added to your feeds and landing pages for feeds.

Tags: RSS search page rank Google search RSS XSLT FeedBurner

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 03, 2007

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:32:34 -0500

Croncast - 2007-12-03.mp3
Show: #441
Length: 33:28
Size: 23.0mb
Format: mp3

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Note: Something was off with the sound level on Betsy's mic in today's show and I didn't catch it until it was too late. Content wise, well, they all can't be winners.
Welcome to December
Ron Paul is taking Naperville by storm
If Rick was here this wouldn't be happening
Tell me why Iowa gets to pick the best candidate?
I dunno
I don't have a better answer
That is what I am talking about
It's needed for the parties to have a race and for the media to have a news cycle
Live blogging from a combine in the field
I like to see how far away I can find something to listen to
I didn't chase it on the quad
The law of the land says you gotta sit in the tree
It took 10 men and new named jr. to kill a deer
Are we gay or gangster tonight?
Oh, baby
Iowa matters to the candidates and the media
It's all bunk
Did you now just hear me?
They got the world's largest truck stop
You totally agree with me
My path has been illuminated Mr. B
My inner gyroscope has stopped spinning
Don't fall over
I'll talk more about our perfectly good babysitter
You need to bring it
She looks at me and says are you the comedian?
Are you the model?
I'm paying to learn how to be a comedian
If I were a doctor I would me doing bush medicine
Is there a big expectation to be funny?
There is always a standing expectation that you'll be funny
Brunch, play date, dinner or church I have to be funny
You're like a young Don Rickles
I saw him again, the Starbucks stalker guy
At church I had to follow two cases of breast cancer but I still slayed them
You're mom comes home
"Can you believe I had to go to three stores to get a dog sweater?"
Uh, no
The fact that you didn't have to go to 80 blows my mind
She dressed him in a rain coat
It wasn't a rain coat Kris, it was a fisherman outfit
We're thinking about doing another live show

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Tags: dog sweater Starbucks Ron Paul inner gyroscope Don Rickles

I hope this clears things up a bit

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 21:50:29 -0400

Hey guys, I wanted to clear up something that some of you might have been thinking about my exit from Room 214 because of my explanation. My intention was not to be vague but with any new direction in business partnerships you make agreements.

I was not *__insert your verb for no longer employed by here__* from Room 214. I left on my own.

After many long discussions with my partners, and friends, we agreed that it was in the best interest of the Room 214 that we make an arrangement, this arrangement, to move forward with development of Castlock and allow Room 214 greater flexibility.

What is Castlock? It is the software that I wrote in 2006 and have recently guided development of to release version 2.5 with many new features. You can take a look at Castlock.com.

In my return to Palegroove and the workforce in general, I am in good relations with my partners as we continue to do business together as co-owners of RSSready.

Which is more than I can say for most partnerships that I have experienced and many that you, yourself, might have been involved in. Believe me, I have heard the horror stories and lived my own.

This is a really exciting time. However, I'd be lying if I didn't also say a bit scary. But what would life be without change? Hmmmmmm . . . sort of like living in Naperville?

Tags: Castlock Kris Smith RSSready RSSignite Episodr

Things do change

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 09:27:03 -0400

Inevitably, every time that I put show notes together the current day's show ends and iTunes flips randomly through previous episodes of Croncast. Always a good exercise in comparing the current show with one from the past. It's like podcast training . . . athletes do it.

After listening to any show from 2004-2006 I can't believe that was us. The shows are so much tighter now. I sound more relaxed.

I think it proves one thing . . . stick to something long enough and you are bound to get better at it. Thanks to all the listeners who've given us their time over the last nearly three years. Many better shows to come!

Tags: Croncast quality iTunes podcasting better sound

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 08:58:34 -0400

Croncast - 2007-10-12.mp3
Show: #421
Length: 30:19
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

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Tell a Friend Friday!
Tell'em all about it
This is a rocking show . . . starts slow, Betsy is sick, but fires up
Thanks Mexico Mike/Susan, seriously?
Proxy commenters need not hide
User your real information
I know who it is, Bears
Who?
You mom
She got a WebTV
Through a proxy
My perfect job would be the skipper on a boat
The skipper of a sailboat
So, I went and bought a Jamocha shake from Arby's
Now I want to throw up
Speaking of Goodwill . . . Mike and Liz just had a baby today!!!
Congratulations to the Marusin's and Poppy Ann
Wait until you get your Goodwill gift
No way Kris, I will them something nice . . . like a store display
Going to Ben Franklin to get some paint
Unless a blind person comes and runs their fingers over it no one will know
We are really talking about a $160 present
We should get them something new
Yeah, Kris, we will get them some diapers
You need not to nerd out on strollers, explain
Why don't they call it the platform stroller?
You can sit or stand . . .let's call it the platform stroller
Special place for them to hold on
They always want to stand in the cart
What kind of vitamin deficiency makes your skin fall off?
I mean like peel on your hands
One year of hands down the pants
Baby!
That is all about moisture, Kris
Maybe you need to get sick more often
Improv round two started last night for Betsy
Not just the core group, time to move on
Betsy and her ego
I love, love this class
Yeah, it is controlled psychosis
You are nuts
The crazier the people the better
Crazy people find each other
Giving off the crazy vibe
You find out later you have it in common
Kicking it at Bar Louie with my posse
I can't believe you are still going back
Of course I am
You don't want to profit from my sexual harassment?
This is your joint now . . . your cheers
They listen to the show now
My mom paid children to teach me to ride a bike
I don't know if I ever told you this before, Kris
Told me what?
I was born dead
What?
I was blue and not breathing
That explains a lot
What else you hiding from me?
Object work in improv
They reply to me . . . "It's not a radio show"
Well, let them come in and try this
That's right . . . dead air bitch
When is it a good time to bring up being born dead?
I don't know.
Who are you? Where is my wife that was born alive?
The doctor left with a blue baby
Came back with a pink baby
Don't go to Arby's and buy a Jomacha shake

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Tags: Jamocha shake Poppy Ann Marusin Goodwill improv psychosis Bar Louie

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 14, 2007

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 10:00:26 -0400

Croncast - 2007-09-14.mp3
Show: #410
Length: 34:42
Size: 23.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 14, 2007

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Early insert for TFF - Tell a Friend Friday
Go out and tell a friend about Croncast
We now have a way for you to even tell strangers
STICKERS! They'll be here on Tuesday
Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00

Now to the show notes
Trescadecaphobes yesterday was the day
Today it is safe it is the 14th
It was a good 13th for me
You are on a nerd high Mr. B . . . I'm gonna let you roll
Yeah, I am stoked
I saw in Google Reader that TechCrunch 40 had 5 press/blogger passes available
Sent Jason Calacanis a message
Hour and a half later I was good to go
So thanks to Jason . . . I am really looking forward to the event
I'll crank out some podcasts
Thanks to Rick and Robin for putting me up next week
I'll get to see the solar panels
We should buy carbon credits from them
It's good to be all in Mr B
Like I said, you've got to strike while the iron is hot
Can I now tell my story, Kris
I had a creepy thing happen to me last night
I gotta thank people
I don't tell people thank you enough
You don't
I know baby
I had the best lesson taught to me by my uncle
He sent me a thank you note
Then on the back it said, "This is what a thank you not looks like."
He told you!
Betsy's problem is she buys them and writes them but just doesn't follow through
The only person that always gets them in neighbor . . . I can walk them over
So what happened on your dark night
Yeah, your creepy story . . . sorry that I asked
Get off the stage bitch
I don't have to work with anyone
I reallize that I left my purse in the bar
The drunk bouncer stops me and cuts me off
He's a drunk frat boy
Where them diet chocolate shakes at
He gets all up in my face
Sucking in my oxygen, that close
Listen, I am as old as dirt
We get into this battle of the wits
My she is fabulous . . . she is so witty
Do you know what he did?
Started crying
No, he kissed me
Silence
The most disgusting moment of my life
I know you stepped back into his personal space
So he kissed you . . . where?
My lips
I was shocked
I can't believe you are telling me now, not last night
You didn't seem to mention it
Yeah, I'm running away with the bouncer
Takes a certain type of dude to handle a lady like you
Don't take that personally
Your behavior can be interpreted different ways
I did not invade this man's space
Think of the sweet alley action he gets
I gotta tell you not a big fan of improv night or Bar Louie
I didn't expect to hear this
No, I don't find it alright to deal with
The most competent individual you can hire for $6
The score is 1 me, you 0
The reason that I have an issue with it is that I would have rumbled
I would have hit him
Really?
Notice how I said I would have hit him, not kicked his ass
Oh, Mr. B
Improv class might not be my thing
Betsy tells us all about improv
You are milking that imaginary cow all wrong
Oh, no, no . . . I was in FFA I know how to milk a cow city man

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Tags: Bar Louie TechCrunch 40 Jason Calacanis TFF croncast stickers

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 18, 2007

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 08:03:09 -0400

Croncast - 2007-07-18.mp3
Show: #388
Length: 15:53
Size: 10.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 18, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Why is it that you are always calling me names?
I gotta get to my posse at Goodwill
Mike Marusin
Garbage equals cash
Trash is a state of mind
The CEO will have that tattooed on himself
A gorgeous mausoleum
They gotta keep things rolling
Their executives were felons years ago
Big rims and rolling large
I am having a phenomenal eBay week
This is my Valhalla money
I gotta sell this shit
Michigan Avenue bags turned into something else
We're still cracking away at it
We are selling more stuff that comes from Land of Nod
It is all outlet goods but selling well
Look at this
It's like the L.L. Bean for kids
I have never seen it
Yeah, they do . . . Elliot's room is Land of Nod
Someone has to return their stuff
The boy chained to the log didn't sew it right
The stars aligned and the heavens opened
Patch flannel comforter cover
Screen printed all over
Screen printed stuff smells
Not worth the hassle send it to the outlet
Your driving trip to Boulder
You found that one little thing to exploit and make money for your trip
Every piece of patch of patch flannel will be owned by you
The stuff for little boys is never cute . . . always rugged
The frilly fluffy stuff goes for the girls
Illustrators are doing the design work for them
You are so child like
Man, I am tired
I can't believe we did all these shows tonight
Friday will be the Q & A from the live show

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Tags: Land of Nod Valhalla Goodwill Industries trash is cash frilly fluffy stuff

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 13, 2007

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 07:59:05 -0400

Croncast - 2007-07-13.mp3
Show: #386
Length: 20:54
Size: 14.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 13, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

For Friday, July 13th
Triscadecaphobe friends are feeling
Yeah, and I am taking my son to the dentist
Aren't I an evil bitch
We have Friday the 13th open, excellent
He hasn't been brushing much
Kris breaks down why the shows are so short right now
Kris is in Boulder till August
Yeah we're normal people
Are you trying to be at?
Looking around awkwardly pushing your tofu around your plate
Travel and seeing other peoples kids
I miss mine more when I see the other kids
And how my wife is pissed off
Getting up with the kids
Betsy coming out in a week
Kris going out to San Francisco
Back for when Betsy arrives
Yes, Kris you are abandoning your family
"I want daddy, he would have bought me the Transformer"
Jeanie and I are going to just stop and stay a hotel
Yeah, I can skip Valhalla for the peace and quiet
I have a little online issue
Kris you always laugh at me about my computer issue
The Nigerians are after Betsy
My spam is out of control
Sure, but you use hotmail
Did you reply to one at some point?
I do have a boyfriend over there
He's wealthy and a general
A storage shed full of machetes
Betsy is going to join the resistance, some faction
The faction that burns down all the internet cafes
The international campaign not to fund your country
You have to be creative when short on funds
I just want them to leave me the hell alone
Some sort of online condom
Back to Wednesday
I truly believe that this is your launching pad
I am banking on you
There is a long record of comedians who are excellent parents
It's crazy
If it happens Mr B it will happen
I will walk out on stage with pasties for you Mr B
You'll never get another audience
Live show
We're our own worst critics
Selling stuff on eBay that people feel cheated
It was her husband telling her that it isn't cool
People really think it used to be her stuff

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Tags: Valhalla Friday the 13th triscadecaphobia Transformers Nigerian internet cafes

Croncast Live Naperville Jul 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 08:47:55 -0400

Croncast - 2007-07-09.mp3
Show: #384
Length: 32:56
Size: 22.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

First of all we need to thank everyone who came out to the show last night! Thanks to everyone who attended and those who become Croncast roadies in the process to help me wrangle gear and toys that littered the stage.

Turns out that we were both a little nervous and it comes through on the show but it was a ton of fun to do. More practice, more better.

So for those of you who couldn't make it out we've got today's show for you recorded from The Comedy Shrine. In the very near future, thanks to videographers Mike Marusin and Evan Brown we should have some video to share. For now you can check out these Flikr photos from Mike and Brian Beatty.

Special thanks needs to go out to Betsy's dad for helping to make this happen and to Dallas and Rachel Blair for driving out from the East Coast to come and listen to some strangers get down about their suburban platitudes. Time for some show notes.

Kris blows the intro but leaves it in because this is what happens nearly every show
Maybe there needs to be less light for you Kris
More basement like and it would work for you
You look warm
I had to get puffy cuffed
You guys get the full on puffy cuff
The intro happens again
Rolls right in to Mike's comment
Betsy takes it to task
What me go out and get a job?
I've have awesome stuff happen
Bring home cockroaches in my purse
Well, if I continued my current line of work
People have been doing it for ever
Sort of like prostitution
I'll buy it as a favor to you
Teri Horton, Who the Fuck is Jackson Pollack?
It's all about the fucking provenance
People are trying to take advantage of her
They show her sitting around the VFW hanging out
You can hear the live audience
We've been pretty excited
But most you haven't (listen to hear the tone it is a joke)
We work hard for you
This is show #384
I'm just kidding!
Sure it is passive aggressive but it
We have a lot more fans in the Pacific Northwest and New York, New Jersey areas
Yeah we could have filled two more tables
Betsy put together an outline for the show
Betsy and Jeanie going on the "greatest road trip ever"
Jeanie is all about the free drive
I still can't believe you are going
I've got one with adhd and a toddler who bites
Don't you remember Slowsky?
The Volvo is Slowsky reincarnate
The Valhalla middle class outreach program
Here comes Jeanie
She doesn't look like a truck driver does she?
I can't believe that you didn't carry a gun in your semi
Betsy on a zip line
You are going to die
We've all been honest with you
Jeanie, now you know I am going to put my fat ass on a zip line
Yes, Betsy I will shoot a gun from a Hummer for you
This is our basement . . . nearly
Just shooting targets
Maybe kill a deer remotely
Betsy rationalizes it as thinning the heard
I'll take the kids to hang out at John Elway Dodge
Jeanie was thinking a massage but now it's guns
The only place that I think I could shoot off a machine gun in peace in solutude would be my dads backyard
Need an inexpensive divorce in Illinois or fast bankruptcy?
If so visit www.gshiltslaw.com
Thanks to Gary for making the show happen
Jeanie tells the story of her dad finding a body
Attendee off the street A.J. also found a floater at Niagra falls
Betsy gets her dad going about the trips
Gary sets it straight with Sleazers butcher shop
What about the zebra steaks?
Betsy shows off her sweet scores of the week
Her Gucci bowling bag
The fisher price teddy bear
Well what the hell is wrong with a used bathing suit?
That's going to do it for us
Behind the scenes outro

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Tags: The Comedy Shrine Terry Horton Gary Shilts Valhalla vacation Jeanie

The Gary Busy of animals

Thu, 31 May 2007 06:59:55 -0400

Garbage day was today, one day late thanks to the holiday, and the raccoons that usually party at the end of our driveway at 3 a.m. missed their grub.

In response they pulled a Gary Busy on me and when I took the garbage out at 6 a.m. I found that they left me some gifts other than ripped open Chinese take out and half-eaten diapers.

They thought it would be funny to leave me a string of poop down the center of the driveway between the cars. Odd, yes, but I know they are trying send me a message for not making the black bag offering full of kiddie dinner scraps.

And to get even with me? They poop between the cars, knowing full well, that as soon as Elliot runs outside in the morning to go to school and hop in the car he will be blinded by it's shininess, run around like a mad man laughing and yelling about it. Then, when I need to bring him back to earth, I'll have to explain that it came from the crazy raccoons who are threatening us to extort our trash.

He won't believe me. He'll think I'm crazy and tell stories about me for the rest of his life about how his old man thought that the neighborhood animals had a Soprano-esque society that extended to roughing up their human counterparts.

It's true. I swear.

Well, maybe it's not, but damn. Why they gotta poop on the driveway and make me have to clean it up before I've checked my email?

Tags: garbage day raccoon party half-eaten diapers table scraps shininess

If I were Johnny Drama

Wed, 02 May 2007 10:25:30 -0400

Some of you will get the title and for those who don't it's a reference to a character on HBO's Entourage.

The show is 30 minutes of fluff, glitz and Jeremy Piven spazzing out. And 99.9 percent the time there is no real value beyond some laughs, but not this last week.

I can't believe that I am even still thinking about this.

Regardless, Drama was faced with a decision to fight a bare knuckles champ or grovel on his knees for forgiveness in front of a couple hundred people. He chose to drop to his knees. Then gets "Got" as part of a hidden camera show.

I keep thinking what would I do in that situation? And my response has been . . . I would have taken the beating. It's just my personality and always taking the difficult path.

It's strange how show about nothing can be cheap therapy ;-).

Tags: Entourage Johnny Drama Jermey Piven Pauly Shore

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 22, 2007

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 07:13:49 -0500

Croncast - 2007-01-22.mp3

Show: #330
Length: 33:22
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 22, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Henry Busby
Kris thought he would be cool and Betsy shoots him down immediately
Yes, it wasn't that cool
Leaving comments at Croncast, please do
Wii comments on the Wii friend code post
"I love my Wii," Betsy
You're trying to steal my thunder
I'm gonna pick up this dusty Wii and go pro
Betsy plays tennis for 2 hours and makes it
Something fabulous should happen when you make it pro right?
Betsy makes tennis pro
Tiny little start!
Shave 10 pounds off my Wii
Betsy's Mii is too lifelike
Kris did a great job making her Wii
I didn't do anything to it that would make it out of the ordinary
No clue as to what you're husband would change about you
"It looks just like me"
Wii tournament is next weekend
Betsy is going to auction off all my old electronic equipment on eBay
The Zune . . . I have to have it for a corporate client
Nobody is going to use it, but the lucky winner of my auction will
You are the worst with money Mr. B
Brown is not cool
I can't believe you bought a brown one
Can you imagine wearing this brown brick on your hip at the club working out?
It's a step away from the normal colors
Has design sensibilities
The broken iMac
Betsy starts the swearing fit
Nick T is real . . . his mom left us a message, right on!
Slowsky's spirit is back and haunting Betsy's new car
Betsy can't hold it together with car guys
The dealer says they can't get up in for a week . . . right
The haunting continues
Is that normal to happen with a car that has 3700 miles on it?
Did you spill something in it, mam?
Betsy escalates with the car guy immediately
Kris steps in to slow it down
So Volvo of Lisle supposedly fixed the car
If you want us to wash your car it will take another 20 minutes
The sign said it would be clean when I got it back
And the dealer wouldn't give me a loaner car
Betsy goes out with a friend Saturday night
Tries to start the car that she picked up 7 hours before
The car won't come out of park again
It is now abandoned at her friends condo complex
THE CAR IS BRAND NEW!
Her friend tells her it is a lemon
Volvo roadside assistance will be called Monday morning
Do you know the effort it is going to take?
You're telling me that I need to start the Slowsky saga all over again
Hoping that this is a symptom of a greater problem
Well, Zues peed on someone again . . . she was pregnant
She's going to fall and give birth in a puddle of dog urine
And Betsy bolted

Tags: Henry Busby Volvo of Lisle Volvo V70 Volvo Lemon Brown Zune

Real French Maids tracking web buzz

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 09:04:21 -0500

Google translate sends us a visitor (see what we look like in French), awesome. Was it wii friend code, john elway dodge, beck, dr. oz?

Nope. I believe it was a real French Maid (I am only guessing, but I think it is a socialist French Maid union of some type) tracking internet buzz about 'French Maids'. It is possible that they have hired a new web savvy maid that doubles as a secret agent consultant to ensure that her fellow sisters around the globe are being treated well.

So, Tim, you better look out. Soon your maids are going to organize and might just want benefits beyond tight polyester outfits and internet fame. Good luck my friend.

Tags: French Maid TV FrenchMaidTV Tim Street French Maid Union secret agent

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 11, 2006

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 07:01:04 -0400

Croncast - 2006-10-11.mp3

Show: #283
Length: 43:13
Size: 29.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 11, 2006

We recorded this late last night and the energy levels in some parts are pretty low. I think the prime time for us to record is around 9 p.m.

Show notes:

Intro numero dos thanks to that low energy
Turn the dial?
Betsy has been sitting in the house for a couple days
Even though she went to Goodwill it was a bad day
People were packed in wall to wall
Wednesday will be worse cause it is old person day (Kris day)
Vickie was rockin' her bag that Betsy missed out on
Picking up the sister
Resale shop at 11:35 . . . and suddenly the rest of my day is gone
Betsy has been really grumpy last three days
She wants to push off a pier with cement shoes
The honest answer is she upset about parenting issues
When will you not be too busy . . . 2008?
That doesn't count as parenting
Aren't we paying off the final credit card next week?
There is always another bill, Mr. B.
Rick keeps finding ways to get on the show
Documentary about Betsy's uncle, Randy Shilts - Reporter Zero
We have to find a way to see this movie
Life is show prep holmes
"I can't believe that I have to look at your mother at Thanksgiving"
Flying back to the midwest and seeing the people at the airport
You know your terminal by your people
The new vast collection of checked shirts
Betsy gets to the punch line before me
"I don't belong with you people."
Betsy says they are 'Puffy Cuffs'
The nosey neighbor
Nobody will even know when you are dead without nosey neighbors
What would Kris be like as a native american?
Shirt, pants and accessories from a single hanger on QVC "Fashion Day"
Designed to minimize lumpiness
Heart shaped mommy pants in the rear
Why try to talk with the other mommies?
They are not our people . . . they are 10-15 years older than we are
Getting an iPass for the tolls as a birthday gift
Oh, that was casual clothing

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
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Tags: Goodwill Reporter Zero Randy Shilts puffy cuffs Rick Klau

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 09, 2006

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 07:04:46 -0400

Croncast - 2006-08-09.mp3

Show: #260
Length: 29:40
Size: 20.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 09, 2006

Happy anniversary, though it really isn't today
Betsy's sister has ruined the magic by telling us when it really is
"We can have a lovefest for days, right?"
"Are you kidding . . . we have kids"
Betsy and her sister having snacks
We are going to pretend that it is the 20th
Figuring out what day it is by using a calendar online
Computers have taken the mystery out of almost everything
No excuse for blissful ignorance
Betsy kidnapped me and car jacked me
On way to Verizon store and Betsy detours
Time to get Booba a new phone
Kris: manipulated again into letting Betsy take charge
Kris has a great day today
Sean says I have right to bew grumpy and Betsy should put up with it
I'm a bear that has to hibernate
Anniversary is coming I have no clue where Betsy is takin me
I thought it would be something nice
It turns out that God spelled backwards and put Patch after it and that is where I ended up
See the image above
They don't sell puppy mill dogs . . . sure
The internet has taken joy out of looking for a dog
Betsy extolls the great virtue of Petfinder.com
Is it owned by FriendFinder (notice no link)
Betsy is way to into this dog thing . . . I am having hard time fighting it
Giving up good dogs to keep the bad ones because they will get dirt nap
Taking the kids on her doggie rebound trip
I don't think it is fair to the kids
10 years of marriage
Deployed in WI for 3 years writing wills for soldiers
I really question Betsy taking the kids with her
It is shopping . . . not just lookinig at dogs
Am I alright? You are not going to turn this around on me
She's setting up the kids with the dog business
They understand more than she thinks and gives him credit for
This is shopping for a dog, not looking period
He knows when you go to stores you buy things
Kris is not a dog hater, Zeus is a good dog, however I have rationalized not needing a new dog
The old ass cats as old as Abe Lincoln's bones
Betsy's need to bring havoc into our lives
Doggy proofing already . . . I can't win
So what does it mean to be married for 10 years at our ages 31 and 30?
Obviously, it could have been very bad
You got married young
At older age you have way of running your own life and set in your way
We have the same ways
"That is really annoying about Kris I can't believe that you put up with that"
"Who says that"
That doesn't gel with my life
I don't care your ticks don't bother
It doesn't feel like 10 years to me it feels like a year
Our marriage has gotten better in the last 10 years
Ball and chain? Not really
Kris goes off on some bizarre tangent that makes no sense at all
All I can say is thanks Mr. B for giving me room to do what I want to do
In the basement like a pile of pudding
Kris is keeping secrets
Betsy could have gotten the dog tonight if she had done one thing . . .

Tags: dog Pet Finder marriage anniversary Dog Patch Naperville

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 02, 2006

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 06:27:35 -0400

Croncast - 2006-08-02.mp3

Show: #257
Length: 30:39
Size: 21.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 02, 2006

It's August and it is hot
Global warming isn't real
I believe like our president we need to wait, the future will let us know
Let's burn some fossil fuel bitches
I will drive my Hummer til it's 127 outside, I'll just turn up the AC
Without Maggie being with us when we record we swear more
The lawn mowing boys
Well they aren't boys they are college age
Cursed with a beautiful backyard that takes work, not for us
Butterfly Garden
I was gonna take pictures of the yard but camera battery is dead
Swearing and swearing more
You're being inappropriate with me lady
He is like an honor roll student who now has to work for a burnout
"I didn't know people like you actually grew up and owned houses"
He knows we don't fit, they all do within 15 minutes
National Night Out
Hanging with the neighbors and their kids
Building a stronger safer neighborhood
Letting the kids ride in the cop cars
Weird electrical hum in Bestys mic for about 3 minutes
Betsy won't end the shows on a loving note
"Good night Hugh, I love you"
I am sure their was some office love
Betsy likes to have nothing the same, ever
Just look at this like a suggestion
The difference between actors and reality stars
They are competition
Enamoration (made up word) of the King of Cars Guy . . . Betsy is infatuated with Chop
"We would both have something to talk about because we both have reality shows"
Kris gets bright red
"That bastard. Chop you're going down. You're destroying my family. Some man in Las Vegas who sells used cars. He's taking my wife from me . . . and my life."
If you find someone attractive on a reality show don't tell your spouse
Is Jeremy Piven ok to tell you I like as Ari?
Wait, he did a reality show
Betsy asks who I think is hot
My reply, the chics on the tattoo reality shows
If we were just friends I would fly you to Vegas for a tattoo
"I hear Towbin Dodge is around here someplace"
I know your motive Betsy
I don't look like Chop. Betsy thinks separated at birth . . . say what?
He's a well groomed Bears
Betsy really likes this guy
Mike Rowe is rad but sometimes comes off as an ass, don't we all
The stay in school remark to the ore shoveler guy
Our turn to come off as asses
Transgender understanding
The human condition
When you can't figure it out
Looking for bulges
I don't get it, I pegged you for a boy but it doesn't matter but I can't but it together
The Madonna concert
Take me to Fry's it is my concert
Now I know what it is like when I take people to Goodwill
Strangers at Goodwill talking to my kids, turns out they are buddies

Tags: King of Cars Chop Goodwill Towbin Dodge Jeremy Piven National Night Out