bit | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

foodmart, bitches. where i shop when in kentucky.

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:00:15 -0500

Thank you for letting us entertain you!

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:38:57 -0500

Most of you knew that we were putting the brakes on this beast, but for those of you that didn't or are catching up . . . we hit our 500th episode and are putting Croncast to bed.

We've had a great time since November of 2004 putting out shows. The rewards from doing this show are too numerous to list but the few that stand out are meeting so many great listeners and fellow podcasters through the years. You guys have shared many insights with us and let us know that our experiences aren't so dissimilar from your own.

The best part is that we aren't done creating shows!

Starting on June 27th, 2008 we will still be cranking them out 3 times a week at Life in the Can, but with a special twist. We'll also be producing a weekly episode that is the best of all three shows from that week, with a special twist.

Yep, I wrote that twice.

The weekly episode will use the previous three episodes like they were brainstorming sessions and we'll pick the best bits and re-record them. We want to push ourselves in another direction and utilize the same skills that I have used for years producing audio for clients. It's time to try something new with our own show.

For the next few months you'll be able to get the new shows through the regular Croncast RSS feeds so that you won't have to resubscribe to the new show right away, though, I'd recommend it. You'll be able to decide which of the shows you'd like to receive.

One last thing, our entire Croncast archive will remain online for the foreseeable future so that anyone can enjoy the shows.

We hope that you'll join us over at Life in the Can in a couple weeks and get your laughing fix with Betsy and Mr. B.

Thanks to you for making this so much fun!

Tags: Croncast 500 shows Kris Smith Betsy Smith Life in the Can

over there

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:49:50 -0500

i was bitten by a large dog under the trees on the left.

my brother, under the tree to the right on the same day by the same dog.

Tags: under dog tree day brother

white wolf? bitchin dog

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:22:55 -0500

the newest of transient neighbors across from my folks are the proud owners of this canine.

my guess is that its name is snow or blow.

Tags: canine owners proud guess name

Gloria's Children's Clothes

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 20:03:21 -0500

this place has seen better days, but all before 1994 when the store was mothballed.

enjoy this set of shots from a store that couldn't hold off the changing shopping habits of america and the corporate tidal wave that washed away downtowns around the country.

Tags: store corporate america habits shopping

boxed letters

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:19:23 -0500

simple wooden letters in a box but effective when needed to label exhibits back in the day.

Tags: letters label exhibits day needed

bottoms up

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:09:38 -0500

the illumination from the table caught my eye as these vases waited for their creators to add them to an exhibit.

Tags: waited creators add exhibit vases

Season 20 Ep 21: Foreclosure Goat, What's Next, Grass Roof

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:58:26 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-09.mp3
Show: #496
Length: 33:11
Size: 22.8 mb
Format: mp3

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Nothing on the show notes
Dispense a bit on the new format and show
Keep it real people
Enjoy that intro music!

Tags: apple iphone doberman foreclosure pets old intro grass roof

Season 20 Ep 19: San Francisco Part 2, The Meetup

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:25:08 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-04.mp3
Show: #494
Length: 41:59
Size: 28.8 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

We're back for part two of San Francisco
The pre pre-school baby is in a kissing phase
She kissed a diseased baby
Then she kissed me and now I am infected
Other than daddy just do
I can blame it on her cuz I got the documentation
Her encrusted nostril in photos
I could track back the vector of my illness
Yes, you are the carriers
Listen to Croncast, "They argue with one another in their basement"
We rank with NPR shows in the post
How are we different than any other shows?
Funnier
Let the woman talk
No love for this man
I didn't get a party when I was there
Heading to the meetup at House of Shields
What if no one shows up?
People were bound to show up
Four people showed up
I am so glad that I disappointed you in a positive way
David, Sam, Russ and Katherine

The Meetup: Left to Right: Russ, Sam, Katherine (in back), David, Betsy (in blue), Jeanie

David has been listening for a long time
A very long time
He was in college, birthday, marriage to attorney
Look back at things that have happened while we have been doing the show
Schlomo gave us the space
It was dark, with a kicked over chair
That is HoS
Russ got a pre-smoking ban chair with an ashtray built into it
This is where we made the mistake
We started drinking right away, heavily
Jeanie kept up with me drink for drink
Mind you she is one third my size
We left the meetup to go dancing
More drinks
Then Jeanie starts dancing with a bearded Marylin Monroe
Having a great time and we stiffed them on the cab
Just drunk bitches we were
We gotta get to sleep
We have things to do the next day
We surface at 10 am
Jeanie didn't get out of bed till 3
I see a pattern with your Jeanie vacations
Remember Chef Jeff?
Back in my skinny days
Now I'm chubby
There's a food shortage I'm good for 8 weeks
At 8pm Mrs. and Mrs Smith are going to hop on a romantic cruise
They should have named it, "The Good Ship Jagermeister"
A little romantic music for you
If I tried to do that with my friends Evan or Mike
So the next day we rent a car
And we end up dumped in a pile of homeless people
They're like day of the dead zombies
Here comes the scariest wican beast i have ever seen in my life
This weather beaten hag pops up in the window
Shit happens, some people aren't what you expect
Are we on the road to Guerneville?
You can't do that with a kind vegan sister
A big coin receptacle
"I'm saving up to clone my cat, donations welcome"

Tags: San Francisco Guerneville Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen meetup

monster thistles

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 12:17:41 -0500

all the rain here the last few days has given these thistles a crazy growth spurt.

unfortunately, for them, this was their last moment in the sun before betsy pulled them out at the root.

too bad her other plants don't grow like this or survive the rabbits.

we are not made for the 'burbs.

Tags: thistles bad root betsy plants

two lanes wide, the names

Mon, 26 May 2008 16:31:48 -0500

the crowd got hushed quite a bit when they saw this banner coming down the street when they realized what it was.

the banner has the names of every soldier killed to date in the current iraq war. the stunning part is that the names are written very small.

it had a great impact. people were commenting about how big the banner was.

no one clapped when this one went by.

i got choked up and am again typing this up.

Tags: operation iraqi freedom operation enduring freedom names written small

from walgreen's with love

Sat, 17 May 2008 11:01:16 -0500

i have rationalized that a conservationist teenager tossed this cart into the river for small marine life habitat and not the thrill of launching it 15 feet down and embankment in an act of drunken joyousness.

ahh, to be young in naperville.

Tags: embankment feet launching thrill act

i've fallen and i can't get out

Wed, 14 May 2008 10:17:13 -0500

the banging on my escape route window-well plexiglass went on too long not to be a bird or strong wind . . . i thought.

pull back the curtain and i see this little bunny sitting right there. i suppose that is good because if it was anything else that might bite me i would just have to leave it in there.

boxed him up and sent him to the rabbit sausage factory. ok, i might have released him back in the yard and outside the fence to give him a fighting chance versus the dogs.

cute little bunny, be smart and hop far from this house before little deaf dog snags you with her one good tooth.

Tags: little bunny might window back

Season 20 Ep 15: Dumpster Golf, Penny Drop, Fancy Hood

Mon, 12 May 2008 13:54:32 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-12.mp3
Show: #490
Length: 19.6
Size: 28:32 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy likes the amens to her sermons
Now they can tell me to mow my lawn
We are way more boring than the show
The picture in her head of you was repulsive
Good thing she didn't see a real picture
I despise this time of year the most
Why?
The grass grows
I hate the mowing
Pulling back that shade for bits of sunlights
I am the Boo Radley of the neighborhood
I have been honing my skills without you
Something new to the Resale Queen toolbox
Not the Billy Squire stroke
A body bag full of bubble wrap
A body bag?
I tried to do a Penny Drop
That was for those of you that too kindergarten gymnastics
Tetanus shot for junking license
I had to have the bubble wrap
So I went to Goodwill
Fast like a bunny
I bought a Titleist
Golf club
We playing gold today mommy?
Yes, Maggie, dumpster golf
Your Titleist for dumpster diving
Your like a gorilla in the mist
Your people were the strain that hung on the jungle floor
Mine were smarter and more motivated
Now, I bring home the bananas
It's all about who brings home the bacon
I am forever grateful that you make enough for me to dig in a dumpster
We found your wife, sir.
Behind what store?
It could be worse, I could be a scrap booker
It is a services
I'm not going to mess with these women
They are serious
Treating things better
Betsy flattens a tire on my car
I'm driving slow on your rim
You were right next to the car dealership
Why didn't you just go there?
You used to recruit truck drivers, you talk to him
Sorry to be so vaginal
I just gave up
Why is he trying to change the tire?
Does he know how to change a tire?
Yeah, that's a lot of money for a fancy hood
They say that to a lot of women who get labia surgery too

Tags: Titleist gold club the bacon penny drop gymnastics

Season 20 Ep 10: Transvestite Mennonite, MC Hammer, Baby Spiders

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:58:26 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-30.mp3
Show: #485
Length: 28:03
Size: 19.8 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

I pulled a muscle in my back
My spider bites
It's a back wall injury
Like in the Mist
Where the privileged people are
At the Intercontinental hotel
I ordered my drink
You need to try it
Jaegermeister and Bailey's?
It makes me want to cover my ears
How much do they charge for that?
It depends
The bartender appeared to be a Stanford math major
How much do you want?
Top it off on the rocks, half Jaeger and half Bailey's
Well, we pour in ounces
I don't care what pour, just fill it up
When have you counted
You are an asshole
I'm not an asshole
How many ounces would you like?
What kind of question is that?
I would have turned you into a zombie
Was $30 a drink
Puffy Cuffs to a whole new level
She had already poured them
A mixer usually has small amount of alcohol
They should charge normally
I need to carry my own stuff
Buy a mixer full of ice to mix my own
You pay for the atmosphere
But most have to leave early to get to a meeting
$30 bucks a drink you better get some atmosphere
Turns out MC Hammer was hanging in the lobby
I missed it
I was three feet from him
He looked nothing like I would have expected
Taller than I thought
They have small man complex and work harder
Shaped like a potato these days
He would have showed all of his potato parts
He has an internet startup
It's like youtube but with dance videos
There's a new character on the scene at Goodwill
Who is it?
I don't know his/her name
What?
It is a Transvestite Mennonite
I had awkward pause seeking gender
I blanked
I needed to know boy or girl to return communication
You should do a back bend

Tags: MC Hammer the mist transvestite mennonite spider bite jaegermeister and bailey's

please, no

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 21:33:13 -0500

from lunch yesterday, maggie was in no mood to smile. elliot, however, was a bit of a prankster.

Tags: elliot bit prankster smile mood

Season 20 Ep 8: Husband in the Bubble, Carbon Dioxide Vampires, Nock

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:14:07 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-21.mp3
Show: #483
Length: 38:15
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

One day to Earth Day
Elliot has been telling me about the poor suffering pandas for ten days
He was telling me the acid rain was burning the pandas
Which was causing them not to have babies
He asked me if I knew what trees were
He's so much like his mom
He says, "Trees are carbon dioxide vampires"
I told him that would be a great band name
He didn't get it
Two worlds collided
You bought this badminton set at Goodwill
At a garage sale
Well, it came from out of the house
Husband in a bubble
Whatever you had taught him was wrong
Proper badminton form
Let me show you
What? What you learned at La Moille badminton school?
I can't believe you tried to describe this
What the hell are you talking about?
Your boy cannot do overheard
Oh, baby
I won't even listen to you and your un-athletic skills
It's good he's not you, Kris
He just doesn't get it as I am trying to help him
You're a like a lion in the grass
Look at that birdie fly
He can't hit it back and forth
I wanted to work with him
And you wonder why he doesn't want to play with you
You are a weird nerd jock hybrid
You're a NOCK
He'll have flash backs
Badminton is where business gets done
Watching his badminton future crumbles before my eyes
Don't send the hate mail
I get it
I need to engage with him on another level
He's going through a growth spurt
He's 7 asking if the weather is changing
Sensitive to barometric pressure
Taking the kids to lunch
Ted's Montana Grill
Ted's Buffalo Hut
There is nothing more environmentally friendly than buffalo farming
What are you saying? Twice as much methane
Maggie is all about it
Elliot looks at Ted's Bison Hut
Looks left and says, I just want Subway
"I won't get a bag of chips with my burger"
Wanted to do something a bit special
He says, "Dad, I don't like fancy. I like Goodwill and Subway."
Half the time he is working on bits
What's 10 minus 8?
I think you owe me $2, Mom
I get to the foreclosure/divorce house
Ring the door bell
The laundry basket was longaberger
It was like you designed the house
There was a beautiful chandelier in his bathroom
He wanted $1,800 for it
Then he says, "I paid $23,000 for it."
They make excellent copies of this at Menards
Then, Mr B, there it was
I became the sucker
Do you like the table?
It happens
How much do you want for the table?
Well . . .
I paid $12,000 for it
This is a garage sale
The table turned to fire when he told $2,300
Can you grab me something out of that crystal wine in the box holder
It was so McMansion
It was like he was trying to get on Cribs and it didn't work out
Same outfit as yesterday
Because he is single now

Tags: Longaberger suffering pandas acid rain Ted's Montana Grill McMansion