bmx | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Sunshine, Electrified Fountain, BMX Superstar

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 10:47:35 -0500

Episode: #645
Length: 27:14
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

That place inside The Facebook finders
No patience for the babiness
Thinking like a computer
Two shopping lists
Gotta be sunshine
Wanna be a proctologist
I'll get you a book for that
Daddy alternate personalities
Scratch the name off
Two parties to keep team smith moving
Redneck lame sports aphorisms
Mommies are needed
Even for women that are 85 need mommy supervision
Women here can't dress
Keep the junk hidden in your pants
45 degree camel toe
Lady you got issues
I don't walk around in my tidy whities
Ladies shouldn't either
Camel Toe Cop
I should be issuing citations
Niet on the man spanx
The pushy together bra
Disappointment Bra
Fool men on dates
Electrified Fountains
Sure i nursed till I was 12
Breast milk is best way to be BMX superstar
It is all about bone density

Tags: electrified fountain bone density disappointment bra aphorisms

Season 25 Episode 20: The Croncast Shorty

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 10:31:19 -0500

Episode: #645 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:04
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: electrified fountain bone density disappointment bra aphorisms

BMX Ramp, Country Roads, Courting the Ladies

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 15:22:41 -0500

Episode: #617
Length: 31:04
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Getting ready to head over to event
Gotta cut these show notes short
Be good!
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: apple tv country roads courting bmx ramp

Season 22 Ep 07: Betsy's Clairvoyant, You're Grounded, Gameshow Desires

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:20:41 -0500

Croncast - 2009-06-16.mp3
Show: #533
Length: 25:51
Size: 23.8 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

What you don't have is the funny
I'm bringing it to over 40 people Thursday nights
All in the old Seinfeld time slot
What are you up against?
Oh, yeah . . . ER reruns
They used to stay home for Greys Anatomy
Not so hot early on
Doing the shows for your cousins
12 people versus 50 and percentage laughing
Well, I can see you telling a joke in a restroom
All about pumping your ego up
Two fangirls waiting for me
Thinking they can't find the bathroom
"Oh, my god. You were so funny."
Bitsy's door star - they can't speel
The bicycle issue
There is no issue . . . I am the BMX'n boy
Kris, I couldn't ride a bike until I was 10
That is the plan the man is on
He got my physical genes
My neighbors got rich of off my physical ineptitude
I learned to ride in the grass
Of course you did softy
I saw a malleable four year old girl in front of me
She wanted to go fast
Daddy, go get the tool box
She takes the wrench from me
Takes the training wheels herself
Took 2 minutes to get her going
Then 20 to get her starting off on her own
Loving it for the freedom
Number one for her was freedom
The second is that Elliot can't ride a bike
She pointed it out, Not me
A stranger isn't going the pick the nutty kid
The other was her fear of punishment
She tried to give up
I motivated her
She got so upset that she just did it
All kids are different and need different motivational techniques
Just a wee bit of manipulation
One teaspoon of manipulation and one of sweat
You gotta throw in some love
You know that I am clairvoyant Mr B
Baby, you can't tell people that
That is just too much
Walking to school in a Marlboro Jacket
They had a denim one that I wanted
You could deduce that knowing my history
Betsy is ready to restart her career as a game show contestant
When you hit the track you become a robot
I'll be back later, I got ponies to read up on

Tags: Seinfeld bmx game show ponies fangirl

bmx plate

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:51:36 -0500

this was my first bmx plate circa 1981. like many of the other things around it has also fallen into some disrepair.

Tags: bmx plate disrepair fallen first

bmx'n boys

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:48:27 -0500

these are on display in the room i shared with my brother for 18 years along with our patches for being ranked number one at the end of the year for our ages in the state of illinois.

Tags: end number year ages illinois

Season 19 Ep 8: Improv Tonight, Private Caller, The Skank is the Hero

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 11:06:50 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-23.mp3
Show: #454
Length: 29:15
Size: 20.1mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Short show notes today. We plowed through and finished the show but it was tough today.

Notes:
I thought you had a great life lesson
You wouldn't let me finish
You need to find her and tell her
Your tongue led you down the right path
Thank you for being a skank
Your loving put me on bed rest for months
It gave me time to think

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: bmx private caller improv mononucleosis small town medicine

TechPlane40 back to ORD

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 17:40:08 -0500

Sitting at SFO waiting to get on the plane back to Chicago and I thought this the perfect time to thank the folks that put me up for the last few days, Rick and Robin! Your hospitality was greatly appreciated. Now when you sell this house (hopefully a long time from now) you can say, "Kris Smith stayed here." ;-) Inside joke, they will get it!

This was a really good trip for me. Hanging with Brogan and Schlomo was definitely the highlight. It was only about two hours together but it was the best conversation about video on the net, present and future that I have taken part in. Those dudes are smart! I rank second the 20 minute conversation Chris and I had yesterday about PodCamp and a need (personal need) for returning to a more unconference format in the sessions . . . this should be be its own post. Check.

If you want the best story of my trip you'll have to listen in to tomorrow's show. It's only going to be about 2 minutes long but well worth it.

Thanks also to all the other folks that I met at dinner on Monday night.

Tags: techcrunch40 hand washing Chris Brogan Schlomo Rabinowitz

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 08, 2007

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 07:33:02 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-08.mp3

Show: #324
Length: 30:02
Size: 20.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 08, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Robert Sullivan.
The big news is that the show is now Betsy only!
So today we are going to talk about plushies
1/2 on why you shouldn't buy plushie smurf's
Buy the PVC ones they are good
OK Kris is still here
Betsy says that I make is all drama
Tell the people what the news is!
BMX'n baldie that is close
This is the third new job . . . did I give it away?
I got a new gig!!!!
Podcasting and coding full time from home in my basement
I answered one of those signs by the road . . . not really
Mommy will need some alone time
I'm here. That was my commute up the stairs
Kris, you have to reign in your workaholic ways
I have had the two jobs for long
It was time to slow down and focus my career
One job dedicated to distance education and one for myself podcasting
I say, "stoked" 50 times during this bit
Stay at home working out of the basement, you're already dead pale
You haven't been on the Wii in a week
This has been going on for a while
The ball has been rolling but it had to fall into place just right
Business transactions that had to work
Do you have a title? Nope
The cards are on the way
If I wanna be with the man I can be a VP of something
Man, it goes on and on
We flew out and looked at houses
That's hilarious, Kris . . . didn't you listen to our vacation shows?
Boulder is a world apart from Denver
Celebrating Betsy's birthday two days early
Her mom and her sister celebrated . . . I sat there with no gift
Who are your customers for the purses?
Not me . . . ladies like me are Stone Mountain bitches
Her mom wants to go on a QVC tour for vacation
The matching outfit from the hanger trip
Friday night . . . oh Betsy . . . invited to a gallery, dressed for bingo
Asking for your husband's help to dress
Granny grey wool pants, purple sweater with yarn hanging from it
Betsy looking very 1991
The dopey brown shoes capped it off
"I'm ready bear," baby the bingo outfit isn't going to cut it
What do you have that is black?
So Betsy wore her mom's clothes
Left to her own devices she would be in trouble
"Why did you like it so much Bears"
"Uh, you brushed your hair."
Dress up nothing, not even a match about her velure suit

Tags: velure suit Stone Mountain pants QVC tour PVC Smurf Robert Sullivan

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 06:56:38 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-17.mp3

Show: #250
Length: 42:35
Size: 29.2 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 17, 2006

The foam stays! I didn't think that it would improve the show sound that much. I was wrong. I am in love with foam.

Betsy calls me the foam king
God this looks messed up
I expected foam like an egg carton
It looks like asphalt shingles in Aztec patterns on the wall
Inca ruin aerial view
They are here to absorp all the sounds
When you die I am going to put your picture in the center and flowers in the foam
The purse selling for $249 was a fluke
It never goes this way
Maggie is chillin' with us tonight she has had a really messed up weekend
Daddy baby sitting while sister-in-law in labor at hospital is bad
Betsy whould fire a baby sitter who left a mess like mine
The hospital where Booba took her siter for birthin'
Grubby 19 year olds not putting pregnant lady in wheel chair
Calling them in to the other people
SHE STILL HASN'T HAD THE BABY!
Vacation baseline
Betsy gives update as to neighbor house sitting
It is time, after long deliberation, Betsy says to put Muffin to sleep
The Muffin conversation continues
Podcast Awards, I forgot but some peopl nominated us
Not sure if that was enough
If her water broke in Kris's car . . . let's say I traded in my Scion xB . . . and I'll tel you what it is on Wednesday

Tags: Muffin car Scion xB baby sister-in-law Podcast Awards

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 03, 2006

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 08:20:54 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-03.mp3

Show: #244
Length: 44:36
Size: 30.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 03, 2006

I blew it on this show . . . our guest Carla has super low volume. Why? Well, the head technician sort of didn't check her mic and it was turned around. You can still hear her but quietly.

Besty continues to mock me through the intro
Betsy intros her special friend Carla
The conversion van story to come
And the true story of the home made BMX trailer
The halloween that Betsy and Carla played cruise ship ladies
Talking the Uplander way
Bedazzled sweat suits
BCBG will be carrying them soon
Sunday night is HBO night
We break down the reason why we turned it down
Carla's just catching up
The Slowsky update
Carla can't believe that Betsy bought her
Betsy wants to wrap her arms around it's big grill
Then Kris makes a Nell Carter references
Broken piece of wood that Jared said would not need to be replaced . . . needs to replaced
Slowsky will look like roller rink inside
Betsy wants to tear out the carpet in the van and pergo it
Carla refuses to ride in Slowsky now
The conversion van story begins with BMX references
My brother raced his big wheel
Building the DIY trailer from shelving units and plywood
BMX boys stenciled on the side of it
It is now full of feral cats
Uber skanks of today bow down . . . Kris was there before you
Finding porn in the van at 12 and figuring that I couldn't get out of the van with it
Sears sold conversion van parts back in 1986
Purple plush valure seats with purple carpet
The sweet ass candy apple paint job with a tan racing stripe
Googling the BMX stats from the 1980's
Chop from King of Cars . . . Betsy thinks he's hot
Betsy really thinks he's hot. I got competition
She really doesn't want the moldy rose
Betsy makes a correction from a previous story at request of story subject
What not to wear couples
Betsy needs to be on the show
The amount of money that Betsy spends at Goodwill and stuff she could shop at Von Maur
Kris is a therapist

Tags: conversion van Carla BMX King of Cars feral cats

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 45

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 07:04:48 -0600

Croncast - 2005-03-04.mp3

Show: #85
Length: 30:21
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 13.9 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 45

First we must give the shout out to Joerg from Germany for being the first to support Croncast during this pledge week. Thanks Joerg!

We start off today's show with a look back at one of the funniest pop art things ever sold on eBay like a year or two ago, the post menapausal raging hormone barbie. Then Betsy makes sure that she gets into last nights play group and how suburban life has manifested itself into one big spending spree on intangibles.

Back in the glory days Kris was a BMX'n boy. The rest of the show goes like this, a baby shower for Kris at work (I guess it is Kris with a 'K') which is a party for having successful unprotected sex, mankind's greatest achievement is birth control, the epideral breakdown from the man's birth, marketign of health care, Betsy is a sale junkie, the pledge drive and Betsy's random collection of talking teletubbies.

Tags: betsy kris croncast first pledge