cheese | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

waffle, waffle, pancake, fork with cream cheese

Sat, 31 May 2008 08:58:09 -0500

the man woke up early, snuck the toaster into the basement with a stash of frozen waffles, pancakes, bagels and cream cheese.

there is nothing quite like the desires of a small child to become a basement sous chef.

when asked about cream cheese on the fork, said chef replied, "dad, it was necessary to taste it with waffles."

bravo, young man.

Tags: cheese cream chef basement waffles

Season 19 Ep 5: Three Cheese Taco, Spinning Air, Juicy

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 10:04:26 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-16.mp3
Show: #451
Length: 29:24
Size: 20.2mb
Format: mp3

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Stuffed nose and tinny voice
Baby I love you
Nobody wants to hear about you
You smell delicious
Like a three cheese taco
You know how to butter me up
I know how to sour creme you up
It is all about me today
Sure, we got to talk about your Wheel of Fortune contestant audition
I got in 3 hours early
You don't want to be late
So I went to the greatest resale shop on the planet
I hope Goodwill didn't hear that
It's called the Brown Elephant
The greatest mens clothing ever
They are having a leather and sex toy day
There are some lines in resale that must be drawn
I would try to avoid that day
Leather and sex toy day at the Brown Elephant
Occasionally I find kids clothes
They usually don't have them
But I opened my eyes and there it was
The greatest china set I've found yet
Even if I don't get on The Wheel I have scored today
You called me
I love how you are trying to get in to my story
The auditions were being held at the W hotel
Nice joint
Other people from middle of nowhere
How do we get to 6th floor?
Betsy, press the shiny button with a 6 on it
So I start hanging out with this guy
Having a good time
We almost missed the auditions
We got in just in time
They had a projection of the stage set
This was the first phase of auditions
Easiest way to say no, "bankrupt"
When it was my turn I jumped up like it was the Price is Right
Total ham
So my new friend solved his puzzle
Some people weren't catching on
Don't be dry
They were giving stage direction
People start falling by the wayside
Then they throw round two at us with a written test
Good thing you know how to write
I made it to the third round
I have to spin an invisible wheel
Then we introduced ourselves
"I'm a stay at home comedian"
The whole room died laughing
"I'm a very down to earth celebrity"
I nailed it
That is why I have made it all the way
Thank you Mr B
Hire Kris for your tagline too
I told them that we do the podcast too
Don't call a letter that has already been called
Some people spun the invisible wheel the wrong way
There were lots of stand out people
We want 'juicy'
Good thing that they didn't say that at the Brown Elephant
They want the whole package
Thanks for coming out
Most likely all of you have made it
You will find out by the end of the month if I made it
They will send us letters for either the Chicago taping or a LA shoot
Good thing I got miles for a trip if you need them
I did the best that I could do
That is all you need
You've got a good shot

Tags: Wheel of Fortune auditions The Brown Elephant hire Kris life is show prep

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 14, 2007

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:12:05 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-14.mp3
Show: #433
Length: 28:35
Size: 19.8mb
Format: mp3

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Post birthday wrap up
No I won't read it . . . it is inappropriate
What did you get me for my birthday?
Love
How do I put a photo of that up?
Just a white space
Your gift already expired
It was an interesting birthday
Was it like having a heel ground into your balls
To know that your plasma just bought tickets to a movie and chocolate cake
You came home with this cake
It had one 3 of the 33
I thought about using toothpaste to put the other on
I saw this monster chocolate cake
I have been shaving chocolate since 4 a.m.
Granted, he'll know it's from Costco
"All-American Chocolate Cake"
My Black Keys poster is gone
You blow out the candles
It was like a car tire, not really
My accent is like a cheesegrater on the edge of my words
I chop up the cake
Hand it out
And everyone is like this is a great cake
Elliot stands up straight
"I NEED TO BE EXCUSED"
He starts bouncing off the furniture
My mom look up and her face it bright red
Maggie starts freaking out too
She is yelling about wanting to ride the dog
Yeah, I ate four bites and had to stop
Betsy, I think it is full of caffeine
Loaded chocolate cake
Who wants to do more cake?
I am wired at this point
I didn't have an iris left
Just black eyes from open pupils
I couldn't handle it
You guys were right about the cake
Mom just stands up all the sudden
I gotta go to bed now
Talking a mile a minute
I go to get my phone out of the car
Find some gummy bears
I eat a handful of them
My chest starts thumping
My body tingles all over
Was it going along with the beat of the music?
I have never, ever felt that way in my life
Felt good when you scratched you head though didn't it
You know what will make you feel better?
More cake
That is like saying, I could use more diarrhea
I need to find my worst enemy to share it with
Scientists for chocolate experts look at that cake and tell us why
That cake was pure baked cocaine
I was still thinking about the cake today
Why do I want more cake? It's 8 a.m.
I do not fall into the stimulant category
Thanks to Costco I will no longer eat chocolate cake
You can turn off your emotions like a switch
Kris's phone is blowing up
Birthday wishes at 4 a.m.
I need to invent an apparatus that allows you to smoke while sleep
I'll be a quadrillionaire
Smoking in your sleep is healthy
Human mysters at 2 a.m.
The deer just stood in the front yard
Yeah, your dog will poop and eat it before it hits the ground
Stuffed animals from Goodwill need to be washed, Betsy
No they don't, they just need love

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Tags: Costco cake Goodwill smoking in your sleep caffeine chocolate expert

Geno's Philadelphia

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 09:08:50 -0500

I took this at PodCamp Philly07 on the first night in town.

"Wit Wiz," as they say at the tourist version of the Philly Cheese Steak sandwich.

Tags: philly tourist say version cheese

See you again someday, Philly

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 22:14:02 -0500

In the a.m. it will be time for me to pick up and make haste for home with the help of a jet aeroplane.

I can't wait to be back home with Betsy and the kids and return to all things familiar in the man pit. Though I did hear through the grapevine that Betsy cleaned up the basement. Hopefully, my gear isn't by the curb when I roll in.

Below you can see Matt Snodgrass with my recognizable visage to his right, eating some fine cheese steak sandwiches. Thanks to C.C. for putting the photo up on flickr.

Tags: Podcamp Philly Genos Matt Snodgrass Kris Smith C.C. Chapman

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 01, 2007

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 07:01:50 -0500

Croncast - 2007-06-01.mp3
Show: #370
Length: 31:57
Size: 21.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 01, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Mr. B it has been a tough week out there in the garage sale trenches
She wouldn't look me in the eye
Hey, you invited me here!
You put up a sign and told me to come to your garage
You don't treat an invited guest like this
I'm going to give you my two dollars, bitch
You're husband gives you money and you do a lot more for him . . . come on
Oh, baby
A moving box full of GI Joe and little boy crap
It's a perfect box for the man
How about $5?
Doesn't look at me and says, "I haven't even gone through that one yet"
Is there gold in the bottom of that box?
I know there isn't some Barbie from the 60's in there
Hold on a second, "Timmy ,Tommy you come sort your crap."
The kids run up the cobble stone driveway
Elliot comes bounding up the driveway
And his white t-shirt is covered snacks, markers and ketchup
It looks like he was rolled in grade school good times
He's excited to see all the toys in the box
Then the boys started making fun of him
It's one thing to make fun of me, but my child
Baby, I am not condoning them making fun of Elliot
Here we, go, this might upset you
They made fun of him because the way he left the house
It's ok for you to do the things you do
But when applied to the kids . . . just make sure they are clean when they leave
The boy's dirty feet
Just get'em clean baby
"Dad I need a toothpick to clean [my toes]"
I understand that you needed to get out of the house
Just clean them up
Mr. B, I have areas of weakness and strengths
And as co-parent it is your duty to step it up or shut up
Our kids are not show prep
If you're gonna take them places just clean them up
Yeah, Kris, you run Daddy salon
They look to you Betsy . . . for hygiene, things like band aids
Those kids were from the mouth of hell . . . definitely not Unitarians
I scored an American Girl Illumaroom
It was $5 day for you
Betsy is going to be making the garage saler year book
If I were a more meticulous entrepreneur
I would save the subdivision maps
The divisions in our personalities
Small town and a little bit city in Kris
If Brad Paisley and Brad Pitt had a baby
Junking and class fighting it out in Betsy
I think that is why so many interesting things happen to us, Kris
I never thought of my small town as out of the norm
Sentimentalism is not cheese Booba
It's just where I grew up
They're survival skills baby
I think we are missing a comfort zone Mr. B
We're just restless
Goes to your workaholism
We need to get comfortable where we are
We can try
Wish me luck, I'm going back out there tomorrow
The broken iPod is up to $70 something bucks
They go on sale when they change the diaper packaging
He was in there
"You gotta do it, Hi"
I did it for you baby
One of our Raising Arizona moments of yore
I'm going to Boulder next week
No you are not starting a business flipping dogs

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Tags: workaholism GI Joe Raising Arizona Brad Paisley Brad Pitt American Girl Illumaroom

Croncast bootlegs and soggy grilled cheese

Sun, 20 May 2007 13:52:53 -0500

Mike's got everything covered for the live show . . . including a Dead mashup graphic.

Tags: Mike Marusin Croncast Live grilled cheese the Dead

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 05, 2007

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 07:28:52 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-05.mp3

Show: #335
Length: 31:09
Size: 21.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 05, 2007

Read the iTunes comments for me
Who couldn't use an ego boost before ni-ni's
I learned this about Betsy
What is their format called?
But you know all the songs . . . when the hell do you listen?
Betsy knows all the words and Maggie groovin
The tunes were inappropriate for the kids
Add that to the Super Bowl commercials
That commercial brought out more awkward silence nation wide than anyone else
People will just have awkward silence with Snickers bars from now on
The Doritos commercial?
Oooooh spicy
I wish I could drown myself in the salsa verde
Another awkward pause between mothers and children
Elliot asks what happened? Bed time happened. That's what happened
The innuendo and violence
Go Daddy commercials
The naked chicks at the podcast party didn't work on you Kris
Joining forces to work in your underwear
I do have the camera up here
I been doing that Jetsons thing
You're not down here making cheese
Actually I am
We could sell the floor sweepings to Kraft
Wearing man Jammies on my trip this week
I'll be in Boulder for the rest of the week working
Betsy toying with idea of renting a house in Boulder for the summer
Rent, plus mortgage
I watch too much Oprah not steal money from you
Instead of spending it she's putting it away
Saving money is Betsy's new addiction
Who are you to speak?
Around tax time, when I think about the money that went through my fingers
Nickelodeon hell on earth hotel
Any listeners been there? Let us know what it is like.
I've seen pictures of Disney and they are creepy
Happy people who have been thoroughly checked to walk around in cute costumes
I got county fair instead
Is there a place with carnies all year 'round
I can press charges or you can work at Dollywood
An entire venue dedicated to roach clip collections
It is cold in Chicago
Hear that? Hear that? . . . all we say in Betsy's car now
Yes it is back . . . no doubt that they pulled it apart
The Slowsky tale of woe
Bad car karma
You have your own show
I have done it right this year with attorney help
Looking for a Volvo replacement
Take the puff out of your cuff Mr. Bears
I've gotten used to the heated seats

Tags: Slowsky tale of woe Bad car karma Doritos Super Bowl commercial Boulder trip iTunes comments

Final Handle Moxie numbers

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 21:25:33 -0600

That's it. That's all. But Philip asked to see the final numbers for the Handle Moxie . . . good idea. Statistically the contest was nearly a dead heat for chances to be victorious with the winner Tom from Webfeed Central.

Thanks to all of you who participated and signed up for a Handle and spread the good karma.

Final Handle Moxie
Handle	Peeps
webfeed	87
PhilipZ	86
gizmo	23
tinaseamonster	11
Rheba	7
MelSullivan	7
sommer	6
DollyDagger	6
triad	6
bwitt	6
Bert	5
ShawnMilo	5
Mommymack	4
Garrick	4
cemseller	4
Mike	3
JamPod	3
kidswifeworklife	3
JuanBadHombre	3
NCN	3
Cheesenub	3
BASSMAN	3
lynanne	2
theheat	2
Frick	2
LisaLisa	2
podfink	2
Harold	2
RVCMathGuy	2
LauraO	2
SueBdynamo	2
GoldCoaster	2
OneMan	1
tripper	1
HiroZed	1
flack	1
QueenoftheDamned	1
Mohan	1
UUmike	1
agile	1
ladyj	1
mamaloo	1
admeyer	1
Buzzed	1
cohnjoyne	1
auntie_m	1
Sean	1
Abbi	1
sacwho	1
handler	1
Joggl	1
themaskedpeanut	1
HeyAnne	1
SadieGirl	1
regolith	1
srccoder	1
Hendeeillus	1
MichaelB	1
macs_rule	1
dharrisidiot	1
thetitaniumspork	1
madmari	1
acavert	1
Jodi	1
landisimo	1
StillPissed@Yoko	1
carynw	1
parz	1
hoper	1

Tags: 300 by 300th Croncast iPod contest Betsy Smith Kris Smith

Handle Moxie November 2, 2006

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 06:38:24 -0600

We're getting close to the 300th show, the Croncast 2 year marker and giving away two more video iPods. Here's where everyone stacks up so far for handle entries in the contest:

Handle Moxie
Handle	Peeps
PhilipZ	81
webfeed	50
gizmo	23
tinaseamonster	11
Rheba	7
MelSullivan	7
sommer	6
triad	6
bwitt	6
ShawnMilo	5
DollyDagger	5
Bert	5
cemseller	4
Mommymack	4
Garrick	4
Mike	3
JamPod	3
JuanBadHombre	3
NCN	3
Cheesenub	3
BASSMAN	3
theheat	2
Frick	2
LisaLisa	2
kidswifeworklife	2
podfink	2
Harold	2
RVCMathGuy	2
LauraO	2
SueBdynamo	2
GoldCoaster	2
acavert	1
Jodi	1
landisimo	1
StillPissed@Yoko	1
carynw	1
parz	1
OneMan	1
tripper	1
HiroZed	1
flack	1
QueenoftheDamned	1
lynanne	1
UUmike	1
agile	1
ladyj	1
admeyer	1
Buzzed	1
cohnjoyne	1
auntie_m	1
Sean	1
Abbi	1
sacwho	1
handler	1
Joggl	1
themaskedpeanut	1
HeyAnne	1
SadieGirl	1
regolith	1
srccoder	1
Hendeeillus	1
MichaelB	1
macs_rule	1
dharrisidiot	1
thetitaniumspork	1

Tags: 300 by 300th Croncast iPod contest V70 Volvo V70