coffe | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

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Sat, 09 Jan 2010 14:42:52 -0500

time for coffe

Season 21 Ep 12: Triscadecaphobic, Mental Sabbatical, Rescue Animals

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 12:49:11 -0500

Croncast - 2009-02-13.mp3
Show: #512
Length: 24:13
Size: 22.3 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
I won't say the date
A bit triscadecaphobic are we?
As usual
I know how this goes
It's a big business day
The cyclical nature of our moon phases matched with a Friday the ____
Happy Valentines Day Mr B
I'm going to buy you a gross of coffee mugs with my face on them
Great, I could sell them at Starbucks or a quarter
WachterBach haul
Sounds like a Worcester sauce
Pfaltzgraff and a fancy brand called Kimberly-Clark
Getting the freezer
"I remember that like it was yesterday"
That makes you old
The recall feature to tell the stories properly
Hercules came to me while I was sleeping
The stories that people tell about their rescue animals
What is going on with Facebook?
Everyone is showing up
All of your past infested lovers
I can see my friend that is now on a mental sabbatical

Tags: mental sabbatical moon phases triscadecaphobic wachterbach

Season 21 Ep 10: Coffee Breath, 100 years old, Chingtao

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 15:20:22 -0500

Croncast - 2009-02-09.mp3
Show: #510
Length: 25:05
Size: 23.1 mb
Format: mp3

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This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
The show notes be short
Jorge asks all night long where the 5'5 lady is
She's 100 years old
She gives me injections of insulin
Twater
Do you mean water?
Twater
OK
Chingtao
Following Betsy's car
Getting smoke and coffee breath 25ft behind

Tags: coffee breath Twater chinese joint insulin injections

Season 20 Ep 16: Sellers Hate Hoarders, not the Game, Golf Stance

Wed, 14 May 2008 07:20:58 -0400

Croncast - 2008-05-14.mp3
Show: #491
Length: 19.7
Size: 28:40 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy "Classified Ads" Smith
That is your new name
You're like silly putty
Let me see your palm
I guarantee that their is an ad transfered to it
Did I see a Happy Mother's Day Classified ad?
Nope
Did I sleep on a floor for you?
Mr B I am going to kick your ass
I don't want to hit golf balls
Then I win by default
You are very competitive
My brilliant delightful wife made it rain golf balls
I thought it would be like a coffee machine
I wanted a cute paper basket with a handle
The second of the idiots is now here
They should put up a sign
There was a sign I am sure
Based on how you played it should be bright pink
You are so full of crap
I couldn't put my arms around you
Resting in your schwetty palms
A boy at the disco
You missed the ball completely
Then I got it dialed in
I was the winner no doubt
The driving range isn't on my to do list
If you had one we would have been doing the next
I am a bald man, I don't need to be sleeping on carpet
The divets on my head were too much
I won't make you sleep on the floor
Call you Betsy "Lemon Juice" Smith
This is my super bowl weekend
Where is the sale this weekend?
Bears, 23 consorted sub divisions all at once
They have a consortium of sub divisions?
Yes
Betsy now reads the classifieds
Leaving your boxes on the driveway
Somebody is going to steal them
UPS picked them up
Are you sure?
What are the rules?
You show up first and the item is your's
They might share a bag Gardetto's
You have done this to her
Bird Lady I am going to get you
I am going to walk around with

Tags: silly putty classified ads sub division consortium

harold & kumar first showing at 4:20. coincidence? I think not.

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:28:13 -0400

i wonder is this was part of the marketing for the movie?

If it wasn't, someone should take credit and get promoted to 1st assistant coffee getter.

Tags: promoted credit movie st assistant

Season 20 Ep 5: El Camino, Cafe Krisay, Tell All Your Friends

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:46:38 -0400

Croncast - 2008-04-17.mp3
Show: #480
Length: 32:24
Size: 22.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2007 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Short ones this time
Before you even open your trap, Betsy
And clean the lint from yours
Nice tight and concise . . .
Here is what happens with Croncast at 500
When they put the B before the K
Doesn't sound right to me
We are going to re-brand the show
And move to one day a week . . .
But, BUT, you the listener could get it up to two or even three days
Do tell, Kris
Do you remember "Tell a Friend Friday"?
Evo told tons of people
So for the next 20 shows you need to tell all of your people to listen to Croncast
At 500 shows if we double audience size we will go to two days a week
At 500 shows if we have tripled the audience size we will do three days a week
So you've got to get to it
Hopefully it will spread like herpes, Kris
The El Camino is coming back
I want a truck minivan combo
They are missing the boat
Poor customers service
Smoke starts coming out of holes where espresso is supposed to come out
I inhale deeply the scent of burnt coffee and plastic
How not to buy a hermit crab

Tags: espresso machine hermit crab el camino tyf

Season 19 Ep 26: Kick Ass Mustache, Spilled Coffee, Toe Rings

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:54:07 -0400

Croncast - 2008-03-28.mp3
Show: #473
Length: 11:17
Size: 7.84 mb
Format: mp3

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Shout to Mike Dunn
You are digging yourself a hole Kris
Walking in NYC is not like walking anywhere else on the planet
Like a mommy in the morning?
Putting on deodorant walking down the block
Not one person looked at me sideways
Don't ask him for money
I love New York
I want to live someplace with a goat
They won't let me have a goat in New York
Well, when it poops they would see it
People just might want to eat your goat
It would poop and you would chasing chocolate marbles on the sidewalk
She had toe rings
That was it getting on the plane
The kids keep going ape
I knock her Starbucks down and spill it
I am in row one, so I can get out quick
I really wanted to help this woman
Especially, when the chubby hamster next to you spills your coffee
She says, "Let me clean it up"
She put on her toe rings thinking today would be different
Did you get a toe ring to the face?
Turns out to be Billy Bob Thornton?
No
He was four Billy Bobs
Did you put on deodorant before you got on the plane?
When the person next to you seeks comfort
She starts weeping
I felt like such an asshole
It was not just the coffee it was the culmination of lots of things
We really need to go
And that is it. This is such a short show.
The kids are wired
Spilled Coffee
Kris is sick
Regular shows and show notes Monday.

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: New York City toe rings Mike Dunn mustache spilled coffee

this here's a brago

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:11:51 -0500

this is my favorite breakfast food. Served only at amante coffee. ingredients: potatoes, eggs, ham and some kind of flat bread. delicious.

One of my main reasons for coming on this trip.

Tags: brago amante coffee boulder, co trip coffee

We're off for bragos

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 08:45:41 -0500

amante coffee in boulder serves up the most awesome breakfast item - the brago.

Evan shall experience it shortly.

Tags: brago item evan experience shortly

There comes a time . . .

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:15:53 -0500

Yes, there does come a time when a man must leave his lair. Landing where else but a caffiene pushers store with free wifi for an hour. After that I'll hit the evdo.

The new 12+ hour workdays are making my little cubby less appealing. Need sunlight, though I still believe that the sun is out to get me. I need environment less conducive to sitting still.

Listen to quick Cinch that I did on my way to the coffee joint.

Download size: 629.35 KB

Tags: BlogTalkRadio Cinch Kris Smith Croncast

Season 19 Ep 13: The Coffee Drinker, Whip Antennae, CB Radio Booty Call

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 09:54:53 -0500

Croncast - 2008-02-06.mp3
Show: #459
Length: 29:08
Size: 20.0mb
Format: mp3

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BigJon wanted to know who "The Coffee Drinker" is
Suspense, I don't how we did it
The Coffee Drinker background
Has something to do with CB Radios
The big whip antennae's on trucks
If you had two you were the shit
So some ladies would come on night and ask for "The Coffee Drinker"
We thought it might be a kid like us
A sophisticated kid drinking Folgers with their folks
Could have been the farmers having coffee
Water and syrup falls on ice in cup
Too much for a small town person to handle
Yeah, you need training to run the fountain soda dispenser
The old guys brought in a scanner
The Coffee Drinker wouldn't reply back
Of course he wouldn't
Kris, you need some help
Get yourself something nice when I don't talk
Cruising around in the morning
How do you know who his kid is?
Bill had some issues
He had rebel flag stickers on his car, no one really liked him and he listened to too much AC/DC
He says, that The Coffee Drinker was his dad
His dad tilled my garden every year
Is that why you are the way you are?
Maybe I should have said tilled my mom's garden
You gotta use the lingo
Smokey and the bandit style
A CB radio booty call
It's not the one that you are thinking of
They are like nannies
Small town = "Not my business"
I think I need to resurrect this story
You can't just end there
You have to come with conviction
Your car won't want to stop
These people just let life happen to them
Until something forces them to move on
No lapping waves at their shore
Lots of driving around happens
He pulled you over because he wanted to talk to you
Where I'm from men can't do that
You're with that Smith boy, ain't you
Johnny law vs. the high school kids
Typical
They don't have any training
This is how you hit'em with the yellow pages
This is how you hit'em with the white pages
He was throwing the beers out the sun roof
Straight up in the air
The cop is dodging our beer cans
You left a trail of beer crumbs for him to follow
It was late at night they could have been anyone's beers
There were a lot of drunk bunnies and chipmunks the next morning
What should you do in that situation?
Full circle in your life would be becoming the town cop

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: CB Radio The Coffee Drinker rebel flag stickers drunk bunnies sun roof

Season 19 Ep 11: Walzer A., Buffalo Days, The Coffee Drinker

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:51:22 -0500

Croncast - 2008-02-01.mp3
Show: #457
Length: 26:13
Size: 18.1mb
Format: mp3

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The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

About the Wednesday show
We were recording and the phone was ringing off the hook
Call from Walzer A
So this is Wednesday's show
Yeah, it was your sister calling
Brother-in-law lost his job
And the three mother hens showed up at his house
I did not envy him at all
It is getting more and more crowded in this boat
Your mom told you that you need to take care of this
I couldn't think of a more depressing situation
I wouldn't have come home
I would have went out at 8 am and got a beer
Where? This isn't Milwaukee
I would have waited that shit out
You are telling me that I am a born leader
I was telling myself that I glad you all weren't here
This is how it goes down in my dysfunctional family
My entire life I have had to be the man
What?
You shoveled in the middle in a snow storm
You can't even tell you shoveled
Doing it repeatedly doesn't make sense
At 4:30 am our neighbor fired up his snow blower
Ridiculous
Some men wake up with motivation, Kris
What would you do if it were a chainsaw?
Then he started cutting down trees
Well, hell he was motivated
Oh, baby
I tossed pup pup in a snowbank
What for?
To send to the TV station
Are you serious?
Well, I did send it
The auto response email was "Thanks for sending to KABC 7 Los Angeles"
Your snowy dog will be on in LA
You dogs suck
Jorge would be restricted to humane society
Ass end up in a garbage can
That is what we should have called the Resale Queen show
Yesterday, I almost slipped and died
Good things that dumpsters are heavy
How come they don't shovel by them?
I am going to open Dumpster Land
A theme park for you and your people
The dangers that you face everyday
It can't be packing peanuts
There is no Calvin pissing on nothing
What stickers would the truck have?
Did the new trucks ever roll out to La Moille?
I though i shouldn't ask because it would be sad
There was a time that they did come out
No one can tie a knot in this town
Ending up in the county jail
Swanson's baby
Onions in the peas
They came to town for Buffalo Days
The quaint small town festivals in movies, lies
There's no tax base to support that
Basketball game in a gravel pit
I grew up across from a buffalo pasture
Did you ride buffalo instead of ponies?
Did they chain them to a claw foot tub to slow them down?
From kindergarten to graduation at 14
Let me run the tilt-a-whirl
I would be right there
Ending up with a corn cob in his bibs
Might be dangerous but in a small town that's fun
Being pulled on sled behind cars
Watching the console in a lawn chair
I have sat in the back of a Chevy and bounced across fields
We didn't do donuts in a Wal Mart parking lot
It was a small town
Ok, K-Mart
That would have been a 30 mile commute
I know you rode in the back of a pickup truck on the way to a K-Mart
Yes, I did
CB radios in those days, figuring out who the coffee drinker was
Your mom would have a handle

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: buffalo snowy dog LaMoille Resale Queen sledding

Season 19 Ep 6: Hire Kris, Styrofoam Cups, All Caps

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 09:52:39 -0500

Croncast - 2008-01-18.mp3
Show: #452
Length: 28:19
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

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View Kris's resume or download it

You wanted more than Wheel of Fortune?
Now you got it
Sure you want it
How to tickle a nerd?
Let us see funny stuff in our stats
From Google searches
Yeah I look for the search term
You know that your IT people got their space
They all need a little space
Evidently we are more exciting than a blue haired lot lizard
Those I dig, they were funny
I'm glad you are getting tickled
Not those industries
If I could reach a lower point in my wife's eyes . . . don't know what it is
Things couldn't be going much worse for me
Instead of life preservers I'm getting styrofoam cups
I am smiling and laughing because I know you are on cusp of something terrrible
Monday was going to awesome
Back story
Interviewing and meeting with people
Turns out they didn't want me for the job that I had applied for
We really want you
What do you want to do?
What would you want me to do if I worked here?
What does my resume say to you?
In all honesty, I haven't read it
Nice
So they loved me
For the last two months we'll get back to you
We are figuring this out
We know how to make it happen
When job hunting you are in a hurry but no one else is
The key is to not come off desperate
I asked what the culture was like
Sure I ended up over dressed
I'm applying for every job that I can
Everything and anything
Manager at Caribou Coffee, you bet
Come Monday most likely we'll be selling the Maguar
We've learned a lot over the last two years
Kris explains how his job ended
Next time all the other cats get gone
We did the best thing we could do at the time
If I would have waited three weeks I might not have had a job
We thought being proactive would be better
Betsy is keeping us afloat in food and small bills with china sales
The eBay sales have been
Listen, it even gets worse
I am fucking everything up
It's me
I'm not doing it on purpose
But it is surely me
Betsy runs her business like a busy mommy
So she gets an all caps email
Directed at the software that she sold for me
It's not my fault he doesn't get it
Oh, my God I am going to kill Kris
For this software, you have to be a nerd!!!!
If you aren't you won't even know what this software is
Not just a nerd but an audio nerd to know what Yellow Tools is
Yeah, I went after him
Not my fault he typed in all caps
Reaching pretty low lows
Wasn't listening to the Wheel shows better?
Man, this is depressing
Got a line on a gig?

Tags: styrofoam google searches low lows Wheel of Fortune interviewing

I made it into Schmap

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 14:35:45 -0500

Well, a photo that I took of the menu from Swanky Bubbles in Philadelphia did at least!

I'm really surprised they never offered for these other gems from Philly.

Tags: Swanky Bubbles Philadelphia Schmap Philly airport coffee shops

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 09, 2007

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 07:21:44 -0500

Croncast - 2007-11-09.mp3
Show: #431
Length: 34:07
Size: 23.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 09, 2007

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Croncast been holding it down for 3 Years
431 podcasts as of today
You got 3 years from us . . . leave us 3 sentences in the comments
You should play some of the old interviews
No
People can still download them, but I'm not playing them
Your kilted friend
That was an awkward situation
Oh, the Renn faire . . . what goes on there?
Can you create chemistry
I did the snowmobile show
It was the number one show in the world for a while
Then it disappeared
Yeah, Nick decided it was over . . . no moolah
Betsy, I got in your proximity
I feel sorry for your microphone
You need to brush your teeth
What is that crap you are eating
The humus
Not quite as bad as the Aquadots
I told you they were poison
Yeah, but you say every toy is poison
Any item is actually life threatening
I look at the world in the form of 'If I needed to defend myself in prison
Hey, I'm a producer
You could take over anything with a hot cup of coffee
Maybe I'll get my iPod back finally
Rock on Cronast
Do you know who this iPod begins long?
No more Samsonite luggage picking guys
Who the hell has an iPod full of ZZ Top
Speaking of things we talk about that offend people
Online degrees
Yes, Kris has one
And an AA from a junior college
I'm on the inside, I can make that joke
I worked in higher ed for 5 years
I watched the growth into online learning
We got no respect for it
Even from anyone in other distance education modes
I would still be representing as Captain Pizza making fine Italian pies
Working at a gas station is more of a psychographic read
I worked with a lottery winner
She won a couple million bucks
Just because she won the lottery doesn't make her interesting
I got lucky picking numbers
It isn't about how you won money, that isn't interesting
What happened with the money is interesting
Talked to a guy in Boston and he was like I made some loot
Then I left the country for 16 years
Don't remember it all
If I hadn't married you, I was this guy
It was like looking at myself at 65
Did your souls slip out and kiss
And minor nerve damage
Maybe he was eating Aquadots
There is something so unnatural about adding water to anything and making super glue
Seeing as how your body is 98 percent water someone should have caught that
Well, guys
Betsy is a mess
You broke down two minutes in
I am deep fried on the KFC scale
It's the job thing, the improv thing, eBay stuff and then class
You got to get on that
People need to just tell you what do
Betsy quit taking things dirty
What the hell is a safe word?
Yeah I know what it is
No one knows, I'm a deviant
I know what it is, that is what I was saying
No one at improv knew
Your audience won't know
The hell they won't, my audience will
WTF?
I have more respect with my audience than to talk down to them
I don't think I made it
You got to let it go
This is a good experience
You are learning from it
You are taking it off the deep end
You tried out for the local, yes local
They are here . . . not NY or LA
You just need more experience
Call them on it
Don't let it continue on
Deal with it and get an answer
Going to the DMV
They had the wrong soc # for me
They also had Slowsky still in the computer as being owned by you

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: iPod ZZ Top DMV Croncast Aquadots Slowsky

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 19, 2007

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 09:03:17 -0400

Croncast - 2007-10-19.mp3
Show: #422
Length: 30:17
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 19, 2007

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Tell a Friend Friday!
Pause the show people and do it right now
Sorry we been away . . . we'll give you some news on Monday
Lots of heavy commenting yesterday
Get your sms thumb ready
What if I don't have sms thumb?
Yes, we will share on Monday
In the meantime I have a rockin' story Mr. B
Ok, well get on with it
I'm tired of this house looking like a warehouse
Can't buy it, Kris will bitch at me
I have to find something small that I can sell
Go to Goodwill, nothing
Go to garage sales, nothing
Have the Russians taken over at Goodwill?
It's on, their pricing is out of control
Regional trends in purse buying
Runs through my mind 6 times a day
I left Goodwill grumpy
I roll out to the garage sales thinking about my plushies
We pass by an overflowing dumpster
I am a dumpster snob so a video game joint doesn't entice me
I have standards
New t-shirt . . . Dumpster Snob
I lifted out a big box . . . full of Xbox and PS2 games
Baby, you stole someone's stash
Vicky says, there's movies too
And turns on the car dome light
Turn off the light dude!
Used, abused games
So I want to explain to you why I smell like another man's perfume
Tonight I had an epiphany
Did you go back to Bar Louie?
The garbages are there before us
Vickie, "It's not against the law"
Betsy, "Shut up and watch for cops"
All these stores throw out product
Vickie, "I know where I want to go"
Betsy, "Where?"
Vickie, "Bath and Body Works"
Baby, you guys are losing it
I think it is dumb to spend more than $1.50 on mascara
Vickie is watching me behind the Alta dumpster
What do they sell . . . perfume
It's dark, so I say to myself, follow the smell
I am lifting stuff out of the garbage and smelling it
Just because it is in the garbage doesn't mean that I want it
You never park next to the dumpster
It needs to be so you can screech away
On the next Croncast, Betsy's get away tips
In the next pull, my brother-in-law's Christmas gift
The cologne
A zip lock full of cologne and he would be like way to go
Vickie, "What the hell is this?"
Betsy, "It's Nautica"

-----------------------------------------------------
This is the funniest story Betsy has ever told!!!!!
I am crying while doing these show notes
-----------------------------------------------------

You have gone beyond Sanford and Son
Much praise to you baby for holding it down so we don't have to walk over your merchandise
This stuff could cost you your freedom if you keep it up
You probably shouldn't be doing this
Don't tell your law enforcement friends about the show today
What's wrong is the fact you picked up a bag of cologne?
What part of your game that said. "This is a good idea"
I gotta bring her back something
The used hair dye was not a winner
It was the best smelling of all the bags
So speaking of crazy stories
I walk out of the airport and lady with lots of red hair is in front of me
She's asking a guy
I realize that it's Kathy Griffin
Segue from you dumpster diving, I met Kathy Griffin
I got nothing compared to you, Bears
She is taller in real life
That can't be said much for the Hollywood set
Betsy, "I would have said, You are a bigger fag hag than me. I fucking love you. Can you please autograph my tit."
Yeah, I wouldn't have said that
She's thinking, who is this fat dude in the camel hair blazer?
It's 85 and he's got a coffee at 7 pm and eating a sandwich
Thanks to Ben for the comment . . . much appreciated!!!
A little math on the Croncast free shows
422 shows
Minimum cost to produce $600 (lowest rate I would charge client for a show like ours)
Total: $253,200
You go and find another chick who will go ass up in a dumpster for entertainment

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STICKERS!
Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00

Tags: Kathy Griffin dumpster diving cologned in a bag Croncast Dumpster Snob

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 24, 2007

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 10:15:50 -0400

Croncast - 2007-09-24.mp3
Show: #414
Length: 25:13
Size: 17.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 24, 2007

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STICKERS! They'll be here on Tuesday
Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00

Leave us a comment at Croncast
Saturday morning writing code and the 800 number starts ringing off the hook
After the call I figure it might be important
Turns out that it was regional manager or gm for Bar Louie
The nerd posse didn't have to go in person they sent email
Yeah, they listened to the show
I would have been stuck making co-payments if you had been there
He listened to the show!
Kudos to Bar Louie and their parent Corp. for stepping up to the plate
John Elway Dodge could learn from these people
Or should I say Go Dodge Denver on Arapahoe
Maybe this means something bigger
It was really good of them to call
Betsy chalked up the guys behavior to culture
Your employees should be a reflection of the place they work
My esteem for Bart Louie is way higher than it used to be
So yeah, it is brand management
They are taking the lead and that is awesome
Being proactive in their case is makes sense
They were going to fire the guy
Was probably the greatest job he ever had
Then he gets drunk and kisses patrons
Karma stepped forward as the enforcer
Couldn't fire the guy . . . he was already fired!
Sweet
They handled right then and there that night
How do you know if bouncers don't always act like that
Bouncers come in two varieties . . . gross and creepy
Naperville puts plain clothes officers in bars
Betsy's sister knows all about them
Buy the bicycle cop calendar
They talk like they walked out of a flame novel
The HR for them must be a single desperate chick
Betsy is glad that Bar Louie handled it
What do you want them to do?
Yes, I am the damaged
I can no longer kiss you
Screaming baby interrupts the show
Betsy moves on the twins and triplets sale
Don't I have the best job ever?
Sure, dumpsters are quaint
I wasn't supposed to be on list
Then I made it in
Planned Parenthood Es Muy Mal Para Aurora
Singletons . . . what the hell is a singleton?
Kris, they are genetically challenged ladies like me that have babies on at a time
Four perms turned at once
You are the one that wrote the blog post
I burned my face with coffee
They all come back to haunt me
We thought it was funny
These women are twitter parenting
Run . . . have you no respect
Are you embarrassed that your mommy tummy is going to slap you in the face?
Run! We are all in the same boat bitches
In today's money
Tell a Friend Friday is going awesome
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Tags: Bar Louie Naperville twins and triplets dumpster diving Planned Parenthood Aurora croncast stickers

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 17, 2007

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 08:45:47 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-17.mp3
Show: #398
Length: 29:56
Size: 20.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 17, 2007

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I'm losing my voice again
Thanks to your children
Serves you right!
Mr. "In a minute"
Hitting refresh is not a job
Doing who is queries all day
The fact that you know what a who is query is . . . time for love love
The pitter patter of Gigi upstairs
Don't spray that in your eye
Maggie locked me in the basement
Every woman in this house locks me in the basement
Once she realizes I am on one side and she is on the other she freaks out
Daddy, daddy dadddy
I begin to stress because I hear the crying
It activates that parental thing in me
There is one way out other than crawling out
A big man in a small window
Yeah, it is like fat women and little dogs
I begin yelling for the other one to come and unlock the door
The dogs start barking
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
I start yelling up the vents hoping Elliot would hear me
Why didn't you just stick one man titty at a time out the window and ease out
You need to get out of the house Mr. B
I really wish we could spend time together at things like the Great American Yard Sale
You could be my wing man Mr. B
Anyways, I got you
Who wants to play with plushies with you
Betsy does improv class night two
It will make me a better listener, Kris
It has brought insight into your life
I have learned what it is like to be a man
Someone will redirect you in the moment and you can move on
I just think you've got a brain like golden retriever
I don't have to be a tree at home
We should have a family game night with improv games
Oh, wait I have an idea . . . how about family HTML programming night right before dessert
The new dude walks in to class and he is a programmer
I thought you were a coder
I can smell it on your breath
What does it smell like?
Your mother's basement
It was super fun
I had a near death experience Mr. B
How does that happen when all you do is go and get coffee and hit up Goodwill
I put down the mocha latta
I'm parked next to a big shiny Lexus
Maggie freaks and I open my car door into the car
Then I see that the car is occupied
Fuck you and your fucking small car
The woman gets out of her car very slowly
I don't know what you are supposed to do in that situation
It's a Volvo, it's bullet proof, don't touch me
It gets worse
I did what any self respecting mommy would do
I lick my shirt and rub the mark off her car
She makes eye contact and says, "Stop licking my car"
My ass was grass
Get your lips off my Lexus
I had successfully removed the scratch with my magic eraser finger
I hit your car but I successfully slimed off the mark
The dust of Elk Mountain
I would get arrested for that
I know what I am going to do
I ran
I ran away from her
I picked up Maggie and ran
If she hits my car, well, it is insured
I wasn't going to wait until she popped out my eye teeth
Betsy will minimize anyone else's shit
Just because you don't care about your car doesn't mean other people don't
The Dust of Montrose
Was my greatest vacation ever
Your not helping me out Mr. B
The Great American Yard Sale has moved to a mall parking lot
Westfield shopping center won't know what hit
Welcome to camp Junk Ass
One legged box races
There are some one legged people that can gallop
I need you to help me out
I'll get there at four in the morning and it will give me a 10 minute head start
They stole my Jaguar off my hood
What it the whole point of owning the Jaguar is the stupid little shiny thing
Yeah, now it is next to some kids tee ball trophy
Dealership says none in stock
Ornament $211, labor $78 and with tax it will be about $330
Didn't you have any markings on it?
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

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Tags: Black Lexus Great American Yard Sale improv class Dust of Montrose Jaguar hood ornament

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

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We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

Betsy and her husband Kris May 18, 2007

Fri, 18 May 2007 07:22:15 -0400

Croncast - 2007-05-18.mp3
Show: #364
Length: 25:44
Size: 17.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 18, 2007

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Tickets for the live show in Naperville July 8th will be ready 20 minutes after this post
The comments are getting light
Look at what I bring to this show
Kris please don't put "farm animal antics" in the show notes
It doesn't happen to other people it happens to us
Yeah, the searches are out of control
Some people serious help and the internet tells me so
Today's top search result might make you sick
Put down your sandwich, coffee or beaker
I am not going to type it in the show notes . . . these 9 words will change your life forever
It's not sexy or anything, it is rather gross and I can't get it out of my head
Here it is . . . now listen to the show at 3:28 to hear it
It's just gross . . . and why put "fanny" in it
It had to come from an old man, a dirty old man
The proper term from his day as not to offend
I don't get it
Kris I don't want to talk about it anymore
I do think Betsy
I've been married to you for 10 years . . . you rarely think
The search result came from something that had the words in it
Betsy is reaching a level of zero success and possibly negative at this point
I've been telling you for years to stop working with the subdivision people
The treat my baby like crap
These people don't want you around
They are all a generation ahead of us
They make jokes about things . . . they must be bands
The block party is coming
Give me a paper and it will take me two minutes and I will lose it
I signed on for the newsletter Mr. B not record keeping
Their is this weird power struggle going on with the home owner's association board
Weeks and weeks to come together
Lack of Betsy putting out the signage
No once cares more than a week ahead of time
Can you make sure she checks her email
This is your abusive relationship . . . your Lifetime show, Betsy
He is a very weak president
I don't get it . . . don't put that on his tombstone
The prior conversation that puts them at odds against Betsy
Open invitation to join the board
You should have gotten up and left Booba . . . called them on the carpet
Doing it all by yourself
This is our bunco
Coordinating not to bring double desserts . . . are you kidding me
Every subdivision party is drunken daddy's walking around with their coolers
This whole thing is dram for you . . . I am sorry for you baby
Betsy passed her first hurdle in the race to get her real estate license
She's got skills from all of our experiences buying houses and the legal issues
The semi-exploding furnace that left us cold for 3 weeks in 2003
What should I do with my live Mr. B
Liz is coming to garage sale with me
You raised me to be a beast
Betsy's suburban burnout
Garage sale wisdom

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Tags: block parties suburban burnout farm animal antics search terms home owner's association

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 30, 2007

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 07:21:19 -0400

Croncast - 2007-04-30.mp3
Show: #356
Length: 32:01
Size: 22.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 30, 2007

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What are my moobs and dairy snakes worth? Let us know above in the banner with your support
A little guilt borrowed from NPR
What is one year of Croncast worth to you?
That is one 32nd of a server payment
Wrapping Kris in postal tape to make cleavage
And Betsy will sell access online
What to do with the show
Have all the girls . . . women that Kris dated
Especially when they bring their 30 year old kids
Gotta keep Kristine in tube tops
Made from truck tire tubes
Sapp Bros. on the corner of Plank Road and I-80
With my hot coffee came a hot flash of snatch from Mr. B's past
Something nasty probably happened to your coffee
Which one was this? What! Which truck stop ho was this?!?!?
We ate the truck stop all the time . . . either there or hardies
Who was she?
She's the one who grew up and worked at a truck stop
So what do you bring with you from your youth?
The chicken chute checker
Besides your emotional baggage
These are Kris's jeans from 20 years ago
We had bunk beds
No I didn't have the Outerspace mattresses
We had cheap bunk beds
The kinds you could take apart
Cutting the legs with a chainsaw to make them level
This way . . . two equal beds
Happy belated birthday brother, though you don't listen
Karma was kicking Kris's ass this last week
Even today it has been harsh
It must have been the poking of Unitarians
Well, Mr. B . . . I washed and dried your video iPod
Yep
It looked normal for a second then it started to crackle and the screen turned white
I wasn't going to tell you
Hey, kick me while I'm down . . . one in a long line of things
Life altering events all week long
Well now Mr. B you can run down to Wal-Mart and get a foPod
I'm sorry that karma is kicking your ass . . . but my week has been awesome
Let me check my watch for the karma shift
(What ensues are short show notes for a great Betsy story. Watch the beverage drinking in public . . . I kid you not.)
Betsy turns her mom out . . . garage sale style
Little deaf dog in a bike trailer for grammy
Cruising the McMansion subdivisions an Saturday
It's a Schwinn not a Burly
Another Dutailier Glider
Somebody's baby is stealing all those shoes . . . oh Gigi

Send your support: $50 bucks gets you an autographed Goodwill mug. More amounts to come.

This money, btw, is going to server costs to keep the show up and running.

We are going to do a live show here in Naperville . . . hopefully in July. We'd like to get about 40 people to come out so we can have the joint for about 2 hours. That means you need to get your friends to come out too. Let us know if you can swing it.

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Tags: Dutailier Glider Sapp Bros I-80 karma kicking my ass McMansion subdivisions support the show

Raging against the machine with an acoustic guitar

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 11:41:28 -0400

Update: The podcast is now available and the tune is Guerrilla Radio at the 50:18 mark.

On yesterday's Sound Opinions Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello was the featured guest.

He played some tunes from his new project The Nightwatchman, an all acoustic rig and one Rage song, that I think was Guerrilla Radio. The podcast from the show isn't up yet so I can't be sure.

I should have blogged it while it was hot in my mind!

None of the music was what I really expected, especially the Rage tune (which was awesome to hear done this way).

The interview focused on what it's like for a guy who's used to playing arenas to switch gears and move into open mic nights and coffee shops under a pseudonym. Worth checking out if you were into Rage Against the Machine.

Tags: Tom Morello Sound Opinions Rage Against the Machine acoustic rage against the machine tom morello podcast

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 26, 2007

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 06:51:04 -0500

Croncast - 2007-02-26.mp3
Show: #342
Length: 36:07
Size: 24.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 26, 2007

Betsy cranked out some more Resale Queen posts
I added a little widget that pulls you posts into Croncast
At least you can pretend
You're like my management
No I haven't seen the scissors, just the knife
Dog head collar in a homemade envelope
There's only two things shipped in that style of envelope . . . dope or anthrax
Sending packages through USPS media mail
Only books but nothing you wrote yourself
You're gonna tell me that you pay some ogre to open dirty books?
Any likeness to the real guy "One Eye" Pete is unintended
Are postal jobs hard to get?
We're not talking about Jeanie's mom
Taking disability and as a result you can have a post office job
Kris hired the crazy guy that worked at the post office
Yes, Betsy, he talked to his soup and giggled all the time
Little white guy, glasses
Yes, he had his car stolen three times a week and refused to move
He was a Vietnam Vet
Great guy
The Boulder Vet with his Duke's of Hazzard uncle Jesse look
So he was the Boulder information booth
Maybe he was on his lunch break
The FedEx people . . . I like them a lot there more laid back
Anything beyond a lobster
Did you know that you can ship 60,000 chickens through the mail
"I gotta get these chickens to Detroit in a week. Can you ship them?"
Putting the dog on the APC at the post office
Our 16 lbs. golden retriever arrives at our destination
I want that to be us
I want to be the old couple in the RV at Cracker Barrel and watch you walk our Pomeranian
Kris standing in his overalls and shiny sports jacket embroidered with "Betsy's Bitch"
My vision is you dressed super puffy cuff with a baby bjorn with the dog in it
Point of contention and Kris's car
It's what you are doing to my car
You're destroying my car
I'm just not into details
When I pull up into the resale shop in your Jag and I have to think twice about where to park it
You need to be driving the Volvo
Fancy schemlly coffee that has spilled all over in it
I'm calling you out on the show finally to make my point
I'll fill my car up tomorrow with your money
Betsy scraps with the loose cannon owner of the local gas station
He's an asshole . . . baby no he's not
Your card is no good
Crazy eBay lady just leave
I wanted to throw a donut at him
I got men to take care of
Soap, razors . . . those are expensive Mr. B
Can't you go with a single blade?
You'll get a rough more manly look
I have been converted to the more blades the better crowd
Why don't you use the power stuff?
Coming Wednesday . . . blowing a lot of dough, Kris comes clean

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Check a news post for a new RSS feed for getting archive shows on weekdays one at a time
Send us a message or comment on the blog post soon to follow with the day of your favorite show for running in March "Catch up with Croncast in 22 days"

Tags: Resale Queen blog USPS media mail FedEx people Cracker Barrel 60,000 chickens

We've moved . . . to a new server

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 10:01:08 -0500

Hey guys, it seems that some of you might have downloaded our best of show instead of today's show. The reason: it was time to move the show website to a new server and some things were a bit flaky for a few hours last night.

But rest easy as everything is in working order except the contact for which I'll take care of tonight.

The new server is sweet, my nerd friends. The rest of you might want to go get a cup of coffee now. For an extra $10 a month I was able to get a 100 Mbit connection from the server. Not that we push that much bandwidth but it should make downloads quite a bit faster at peak times like early morning and 4 p.m.

Tags: new server Croncast email buggy coffee cup bandwidth

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 01, 2006

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 07:42:50 -0500

Croncast - 2006-12-01.mp3

Show: #308
Length: 25:15
Size: 17.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 01, 2006

I am way under the weather today and it isn't just the snow. My voice is really tore up in this show and I have to force my voice quite a bit. Not to mention, there is not a real Kris laugh in the show. When I laugh for real I cough like an emphysemic grandfather.

I ask Betsy to do the intro
Kris is on Death's door
I've got Tasmanian Bird Flu
Tell the people what you had for lunch
I just wanted a hamburger then it turned into a big mac
Kris's blood is like a milk-shake
I don't want to talk about your French thing
What is really interesting in the email that you got
"I'm so famous"
I really gotta hire a nanny
The assistance position may be paid soon, Vickie. You can apply.
State run television
They want to follow Betsy around for a day and broadcast it in France
Betsy wants a first class flight to Paris . . . lol
It would be very funny if we followed you all day
It should be the week before Christmas
We've never done a video podcast, we'll just use their's
A search for Elmo TMX's?
She doesn't know what she is getting into
It's ok if we don't get one
Why don't you try to write an email in France?
Disruptive for an entire day
This is what I do
I sit in the snow and shiver and drink coffee
I know 10,000 French people are laughing at me right now
Chasing the furry red vibrator
The breaking story will go to the French
The NBC Dateline candid camera for pedophiles
The storm is coming, get milk
The Goodwill 'Beast'
The swinging boobs, denim shirt . . . in my line of work you've got to hold it together
No bra and makes a quick left for an out of the back item
She could breastfeed a snake standing up
The slightly played with or brand new for the holiday
Kris' car gets horrible gas mileage
He needs a sweet hybrid car
It's just not for me
I could go for a Tesla
"You may have a great weekend, but what are you bringing home with you?"
Thanks for all the donations again!!!!!!

Tags: Tasmanian Bird Flu TF3 TV Elmo TMX Hunt Goodwill Beast breastfeed a snake