cute | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

i've fallen and i can't get out

Wed, 14 May 2008 10:17:13 -0500

the banging on my escape route window-well plexiglass went on too long not to be a bird or strong wind . . . i thought.

pull back the curtain and i see this little bunny sitting right there. i suppose that is good because if it was anything else that might bite me i would just have to leave it in there.

boxed him up and sent him to the rabbit sausage factory. ok, i might have released him back in the yard and outside the fence to give him a fighting chance versus the dogs.

cute little bunny, be smart and hop far from this house before little deaf dog snags you with her one good tooth.

Tags: little bunny might window back

Season 20 Ep 16: Sellers Hate Hoarders, not the Game, Golf Stance

Wed, 14 May 2008 07:20:58 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-14.mp3
Show: #491
Length: 19.7
Size: 28:40 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy "Classified Ads" Smith
That is your new name
You're like silly putty
Let me see your palm
I guarantee that their is an ad transfered to it
Did I see a Happy Mother's Day Classified ad?
Nope
Did I sleep on a floor for you?
Mr B I am going to kick your ass
I don't want to hit golf balls
Then I win by default
You are very competitive
My brilliant delightful wife made it rain golf balls
I thought it would be like a coffee machine
I wanted a cute paper basket with a handle
The second of the idiots is now here
They should put up a sign
There was a sign I am sure
Based on how you played it should be bright pink
You are so full of crap
I couldn't put my arms around you
Resting in your schwetty palms
A boy at the disco
You missed the ball completely
Then I got it dialed in
I was the winner no doubt
The driving range isn't on my to do list
If you had one we would have been doing the next
I am a bald man, I don't need to be sleeping on carpet
The divets on my head were too much
I won't make you sleep on the floor
Call you Betsy "Lemon Juice" Smith
This is my super bowl weekend
Where is the sale this weekend?
Bears, 23 consorted sub divisions all at once
They have a consortium of sub divisions?
Yes
Betsy now reads the classifieds
Leaving your boxes on the driveway
Somebody is going to steal them
UPS picked them up
Are you sure?
What are the rules?
You show up first and the item is your's
They might share a bag Gardetto's
You have done this to her
Bird Lady I am going to get you
I am going to walk around with

Tags: silly putty classified ads sub division consortium

I C U

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:12:00 -0500

This shot is for Maggie. Baby if you ever question how you asked to be pushed on a swing . . . it was backwards.

But who could pass up such a cute face!

Tags: pass backwards such cute face

AdSense for Mobile but not for RSS?

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 12:37:36 -0600

There is no such thing as AdSense for RSS.

Google has run a closed beta for AdSense in feeds for nearly 3 years (that's like a billion internet years) and acquired a company that got feed advertising down to a science but there still is no AdSense for RSS.

So what gives? This a great opportunity to increase distribution of ad inventory and generate more revenue for publishers - the very people that make all Google services valuable.

My feathers are so ruffled on this because Google has figured out how to make AdSense for feeds work, for everyone. It's called AdSense for Mobile.

AdSense for Mobile has dumped the JavaScript copy and paste for server side execution in PHP, CGI/Perl, JSP and ASP. All four of these languages are magic bullets for putting AdSense in RSS feeds.

Why? There are a couple of reasons:

1. Most feeds are generated by blogging platforms that are built on these languages
2. JavaScript is needed to display AdSense ads and RSS feeds with JavaScript embedded in them aren't valid. Which means that most aggregators won't even allow you to add the feed. If they do it won't execute and will display the code inline.

So how do I know this this server side scripting will work?

I tried building an ad network with OpenAds for RSS feeds and very quickly came up against the JS issue for serving dynamic or keyword ads. I spent a couple of hours figuring a way to make it work, very similarly, with just PHP. So when I saw the mobile ads I thought "Bingo. This is it!"

Another reason that I know the mobile code would work for RSS is that by making a simple tweak to the mobile code that is supplied by AdSense I was able to serve the ads in my browser and output them as XHTML.

If a publisher took this modified code and put it in their feeds and made sure that it is placed in a CDATA section within a given name space like they could run AdSense ads. It's just that right now, the ads are formatted for mobile with phone numbers as links instead of urls and the publisher would probably get booted from the program.

Work with us feed freaks on this Google. It's time to stop policing the spigot, you've got the tech in place. Give us a taste.

Tags: AdSense RSS advertising mobile ads AdSense JavaScript

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 12, 2007

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:27:04 -0600

Croncast - 2007-12-12.mp3
Show: #444
Length: 25:31
Size: 17.5mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

My stalker is back
Kris, put the shoe on the other foot
He thinks you are stalking him
I keep my eye on everyone
You are so cute when you laugh
You have the bobble body Mr B
Put it out there to the Secret
You have got to stop this Secret crap
I want to do a training series for HR professionals
How to hire a guy like me and How to hire a gal like me
Gal would be done by Nicole Simon
I need that gum scraper here at home
I have to pay the kids to clean
Elliot gets Webkinz
Listen, it is my trained earwigs
They mulch aluminum cans for me
The cafe press store, so far I have license plate frames
Here it is, shirts on the way
My dad told me white collar prison isn't so bad
Conjugal visits through the fence
We need to have a jail baby
So you can have something to look forward to
Do you mean motivation?
I never met my daddy
He and mama hug real close through the fence
You talked be out of babies
The home vasectomy reversal kit waiting for me at home
Sure, loaded with knitting needles and cat gut
More dog clothing breakdown
I actually heard from your mom that
"The veins are so close in her feet the blood would freeze her heart"
Goodwill has been picking up
My new passion is China
I just got bit by something
My trained earwigs are doing my bidding

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Tags: Webkinz The Secret china patterns conjugal visits earwigs

Last seen

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 11:00:49 -0500

The 'Wallpaper Bandit' last seen at 108 S. Washington Ave, Naperville.

Suspect considered cute and dangerous.

Tags: considered cute dangerous suspect naperville

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 18, 2007

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 08:03:09 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-18.mp3
Show: #388
Length: 15:53
Size: 10.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 18, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Why is it that you are always calling me names?
I gotta get to my posse at Goodwill
Mike Marusin
Garbage equals cash
Trash is a state of mind
The CEO will have that tattooed on himself
A gorgeous mausoleum
They gotta keep things rolling
Their executives were felons years ago
Big rims and rolling large
I am having a phenomenal eBay week
This is my Valhalla money
I gotta sell this shit
Michigan Avenue bags turned into something else
We're still cracking away at it
We are selling more stuff that comes from Land of Nod
It is all outlet goods but selling well
Look at this
It's like the L.L. Bean for kids
I have never seen it
Yeah, they do . . . Elliot's room is Land of Nod
Someone has to return their stuff
The boy chained to the log didn't sew it right
The stars aligned and the heavens opened
Patch flannel comforter cover
Screen printed all over
Screen printed stuff smells
Not worth the hassle send it to the outlet
Your driving trip to Boulder
You found that one little thing to exploit and make money for your trip
Every piece of patch of patch flannel will be owned by you
The stuff for little boys is never cute . . . always rugged
The frilly fluffy stuff goes for the girls
Illustrators are doing the design work for them
You are so child like
Man, I am tired
I can't believe we did all these shows tonight
Friday will be the Q & A from the live show

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Tags: Land of Nod Valhalla Goodwill Industries trash is cash frilly fluffy stuff

Netgear SPH101 my worst tech purchase ever

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 09:02:37 -0600

Lachie asked and he shall receive a few days late, but now is better than never.

Three weeks ago, or so, I posted about the Skype phone research that I had done. All completed with the intent to purchase a Skype phone that wouldn't let me down. My general needs were a. that it had a speaker phone for hands free without headset and b. that Skype was embedded on the handset so that I could use the phone without Skype running on my computer.

I found two phones that met my need pretty quickly, the Netgear SPH101 and the Belkin Wifi phone. They had Skype in the handset, had speaker phones and had the added ability of connecting to the internet via Wifi. Sweet!

I didn't take this process lightly because I needed something that would work right out of the box. I read all the reviews I could find. Most negative ones I chalked up to the writer being a newb or not understanding the technology they had purchased and not savvy enough overcome some missing instructions or outdated drivers.

Not heeding this great free advice, because "I know better", I bought the Netgear SPH101. I was stoked. And after using it for 6 hours I was pissed. Here's what was (is) wrong with this thing:

1. The phone has a USB port that only works for powering up the phone
2. The version of Skype on the phone can only be updated via Wifi
3. Update must be run via PC to the IP address of the phone through a proprietary application, not via USB
4. Without the update the legacy version of Skype on the phone causes errors with Skype on your PC when both are running
5. No chat support (I knew this when purchasing but didn't realize what a drag it is without it)
6. The quality would have been better with tin cans
7. Speaker phone dropped 1/3 of other side of conversation

I spent nearly 2 days trying to get the phone working. I pinged it's internal IP, yup it had connection and didn't drop a packet, but when you ran the update through Netgear's software I would get an error telling me that I had the wrong IP. Huh? Your software told me the IP and my router has it listed and I'm pinging the shit out of it.

It was at this point that I broke down and called Netgear's support line. I never call tech support. But this time it was a must because some super nerd made this phone with capabilities that only someone at a call center in India could understand. If this is true I will never know. The three times that I called and waited on hold in excess of 45 minutes each time I was allowed the luxury of leaving a voice mail.

Take this nerd's words of advice and walk quickly away from this phone. Don't even let it's little white cuteness into your gaze because this little siren will wreck your ship. That is your nerd pirate ship of tech conquests. I spit on the Netgear SPH101.

Tags: Netgear SPH101 SPH101 SPH 101 nerd pirate ship tech conquests Belkin Wifi phone

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 05, 2007

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 07:28:52 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-05.mp3

Show: #335
Length: 31:09
Size: 21.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 05, 2007

Read the iTunes comments for me
Who couldn't use an ego boost before ni-ni's
I learned this about Betsy
What is their format called?
But you know all the songs . . . when the hell do you listen?
Betsy knows all the words and Maggie groovin
The tunes were inappropriate for the kids
Add that to the Super Bowl commercials
That commercial brought out more awkward silence nation wide than anyone else
People will just have awkward silence with Snickers bars from now on
The Doritos commercial?
Oooooh spicy
I wish I could drown myself in the salsa verde
Another awkward pause between mothers and children
Elliot asks what happened? Bed time happened. That's what happened
The innuendo and violence
Go Daddy commercials
The naked chicks at the podcast party didn't work on you Kris
Joining forces to work in your underwear
I do have the camera up here
I been doing that Jetsons thing
You're not down here making cheese
Actually I am
We could sell the floor sweepings to Kraft
Wearing man Jammies on my trip this week
I'll be in Boulder for the rest of the week working
Betsy toying with idea of renting a house in Boulder for the summer
Rent, plus mortgage
I watch too much Oprah not steal money from you
Instead of spending it she's putting it away
Saving money is Betsy's new addiction
Who are you to speak?
Around tax time, when I think about the money that went through my fingers
Nickelodeon hell on earth hotel
Any listeners been there? Let us know what it is like.
I've seen pictures of Disney and they are creepy
Happy people who have been thoroughly checked to walk around in cute costumes
I got county fair instead
Is there a place with carnies all year 'round
I can press charges or you can work at Dollywood
An entire venue dedicated to roach clip collections
It is cold in Chicago
Hear that? Hear that? . . . all we say in Betsy's car now
Yes it is back . . . no doubt that they pulled it apart
The Slowsky tale of woe
Bad car karma
You have your own show
I have done it right this year with attorney help
Looking for a Volvo replacement
Take the puff out of your cuff Mr. Bears
I've gotten used to the heated seats

Tags: Slowsky tale of woe Bad car karma Doritos Super Bowl commercial Boulder trip iTunes comments

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 01, 2007

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 07:44:42 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-01.mp3

Show: #321
Length: 34:26
Size: 23.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 01, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Bernadette Bean.

Betsy yodels for Bernadette
Our 400th year of Croncast
I'm surprised this isn't an anniversary for you
the 4 millionth minute of Croncast
Any resolutions Beeboo?
I want everyone to be nicer to me . . . that's a wish
Shopping for clothes on December 31 is a great way to start
It'd be nice to wear a smaller size
Shaper things that are for post pregnancy
Is it stomach? Is it thighs? I don't know
Getting the pudding back through the funnel
It is the new age corset . . . Flexees
Nope my wings were still popping up over the top
Asking the sales lady for help
She was old and saggy, she was probably wearing Flexees she had to know her shit
I didn't throw a penny on the floor and ask her to pick it up
The first thing you do is get a full body suit
That is absolutely crazy
If you want extra control
You could sell be at Bobak's if I wore that
It's like an unnatural sausage casing
So goes Betsy so goes the family
Going to be looking for new pants
Kris used to be a size 34 two years ago
Jumped from the train and landed in the pudding
I won't wear a man Flexee
All I got were chubbies by the little Andre Agassi pant ends
That is absolutely horrible
It is rock bottom for the chubster
2006 was the year of excess for us
We did everything to limit this year and we did it with food too
Kris's lunches this year . . . way expensive
Gotta spend the business money
Then buy yourself something that is gonna last
I had to eat, I had to, to keep the tax man away
Kris will ratchet down his lifestyle
We're gonna eat chicken and vegetables everyday
I picked up a veal roast . . . walked around with it . . . thought about the baby in a box . . .and put it back
Can't get into lamb either
I've worked with those little sheep, they are not that cute
You just went cross-eyed what are you looking at?
The beasties that bust loose from your drop ceiling
Gerald Ford conspiracy is afoot
Not to diminish the passing of an individual
James Brown was buried is sparkley shoes . . . Amen
Let's make it a 4 day weekend
The carrots that I am given
Kris is a nocturnal rodent that is kept awake during the day and has to sleep at night
The troll Kris would be if he were single

Tags: Flexees full body Flexees Bernadette Bean Andre Agassi veal roast

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 18, 2006

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 07:27:59 -0500

Croncast - 2006-10-18.mp3

Show: #286
Length: 29:54
Size: 20.5 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 18, 2006

Bobble heads for intro
I need more work
It's hard out there for a B
Being so hard on a B
What is the deal with Slowsky?
Should we trade it in . . . nope
Now Slowsky sits on the driveway
Slowsky is like a 8000 lb green lawn flamingo
Searching for the good karma
Smartly - is it a word
It was a good gesture and a valid option
Slowsky is a heapster
Skepticism whether it will last the week or not
Betsy is going to use it as a trade for her sister
Going for good grandma karma
Slowsky is in "Fair" condition according to Kelly Blue Book
They say Slowsky is a$2600 trade! Yeah right
Betsy getting it on in bill land
Stretching her fashion dollar
I swear I don't know what has been happening in our lives
Betsy is now shopping on QVC for clothes . . . what happened to us?
She's only 30, damn
Is it teacher wear?
Kris turns into Puffy Cuffs for a shopping smack down
Nothing is gonna match . . . wait it all comes on a hanger like a Gobot outfit
There is something that is happening that I don't understand
Spinning and crushed under the weight of a spinning black blob
An entire QVC universe
Betsy's other former old lady addictions and other diversions
Bingo with the blue hairs
Best place on earth, you can chain smoke, drink and smoke
"I knew I was out of my target age range when I saw the hypodermic holder on the wall in the bathroom"
Getting the old lady car
We expressed ourselves in the mid 90's and now we seem to be back living it again
The V70 looks like the old mid 80's Volvo wagon
Cute Swedish men in jump suits show up
Read her new post at Resale Queen
What is the age difference
The eBay lots that sit in front me off
Being cut off by a Prius (all Prius's except Mike's)
Volvo versus vulva

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Tags: Slowsky QVC Volvo V70 Puffy Cuffs Gobot

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 07, 2006

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 07:11:07 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-07.mp3

Show: #246
Length: 36:58
Size: 25.4 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 07, 2006

Betsy will have gifts from Maggies guacamole love
All she says is momma
Betsy and Maggie had lunch with me
The guacamole caked her dress
Betsy fed her some more guacamole at home
Eating food off the floor, she has standards
Off setting the guacamole with cheese
If they sold milk at garage sales
My jeans were $80
When you're listening to this I will be wearing the same clothes
What you and your wife do is cute
Jeans were not that much money for ones that fit right
Knock-off ketchup will set Kris off
Betsy says I spend too much money on stuff
"Do you know how many pairs of jeans I could have bought you for $80 at Goodwill?"
Betsy is trying for the senior discount
Garage sale booty
The secret to Betsy shopping speeds
Possible fake Coach purse
Hanging at the Tech Cockatil mixer
Being able to buy things makes me feel good
It's the nicest gift besides giving her grand-children
Doctor asks if Betsy and I are related . . . nice
Our fly farm and my fly paper business
More anniversary talk
Slowsky is coming home!!!

Tags: guacamole tooth paste Goodwill TECH Cocktail Coach

Garrick, Jen and Cooper are real people

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 10:28:23 -0500

Contrary to popular belief, people that you meet online first can be real. We met such real people last night for dinner. Garrick (host of FirstCrack Podcast), better half Jen and their cute son Cooper broke bread with us at a local restaurant. It was great to meet with them and talk like adults about our lives. Not to mention of course, having real live breathing women and children present cut down on the nerd talk by about 98%. Thanks guys! When we ever decided to travel again we'll come up your way.

Tags: Garrick Jen Cooper dinner

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 19, 2006

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 06:48:39 -0500

Croncast - 2006-04-19.mp3

Show: #217
Length: 42:19
Size: 29.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 19, 2006

Listen with iTunes? Leave us a comment - spread the word!

Show Notes

Changing all of Betsy's intro's to "I'm the decider."
Kris now owns imthedecider.com
I own 50 domains
Betsy wants to spend that money on a lawnmower
Geroge Bush said it - the I'm the decider
"I hear the voices"
Combating Bill Maher
Talking to America like children
Presidential speak should be colloquial
He just wants me to open the Igloo and pass him one
Unscripted speeches
She gets shot in the face all the time
Reality show we missed in our list - Deadliest Catch on A&E
The USDA is in charge
Betsy says the water is -60 F - what?
You're hoping deep down inside to see an accident
Kris is a keeper
The crabs arms are torn off - "what just happened? what just happened?"
Flip This House again
Betsy lands the sooners analogy
Betsy's first social worker job
Once your kids poop on you 50 times they look less cute
The car breaks down when Kris was out of town . . . 10 years ago
Betsy starts throwing them back at 7 a.m.
We didn't spend that much time together
Kris was a basket case
No more cheap wagoneers and social work
The chicks are on the prowl - lol
Make it a magic 8 ball kind of thing
How to get on the Daily Show
Betsy and I should do the show live on stage
Reporters said fake it and we cracked them up and they thanked us
The Mrs. Coach story
Strip mall comedy clubs
Live to Hard Drive
Setting it up like a radio live event is not cool
I could do this
Hanging out with Betsy and Elliot
Tell Kris that your 5 year old is crazy too
Consolidated school districts
Thanks to Scott Burnett

Tags: I'm the decider Deadliest Catch colloquial Jeep Wagoneer Consolidated