denver | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Sebaceous, Raising Leona, Stand By Me

Wed, 04 Aug 2010 21:08:57 -0500

Episode: #661
Length: 31:09
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Wear that shirt
I feel better all dressed up
Where is the real Betsy?
Sebaceous
That should never be done
14 years of marriage
Your pustules are off limits
Stand By Me train track walking
I lived it
From the scene of the crime
Raising Leona Helmsly and Bob Denver

Tags: train tracks time served crime scene Sebaceous leona

thinking I should stop by john elway dodge - via twitter

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:34:01 -0600

it's been nearly two years. the smiths haven't forgotten you.

Tags: go dodge denver john elway dodge

welcome to denver

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:32:12 -0600

mr brown and I have arrived.

lunch first the a couple meetings.

Tags: first couple meetings lunch arrived

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 24, 2007

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 10:15:50 -0500

Croncast - 2007-09-24.mp3
Show: #414
Length: 25:13
Size: 17.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 24, 2007

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STICKERS! They'll be here on Tuesday
Here's what it will look like . . . inside the red area with rounded corners
To get your sticker send $2.00 support from the site or get 3 stickers for $5.00

Leave us a comment at Croncast
Saturday morning writing code and the 800 number starts ringing off the hook
After the call I figure it might be important
Turns out that it was regional manager or gm for Bar Louie
The nerd posse didn't have to go in person they sent email
Yeah, they listened to the show
I would have been stuck making co-payments if you had been there
He listened to the show!
Kudos to Bar Louie and their parent Corp. for stepping up to the plate
John Elway Dodge could learn from these people
Or should I say Go Dodge Denver on Arapahoe
Maybe this means something bigger
It was really good of them to call
Betsy chalked up the guys behavior to culture
Your employees should be a reflection of the place they work
My esteem for Bart Louie is way higher than it used to be
So yeah, it is brand management
They are taking the lead and that is awesome
Being proactive in their case is makes sense
They were going to fire the guy
Was probably the greatest job he ever had
Then he gets drunk and kisses patrons
Karma stepped forward as the enforcer
Couldn't fire the guy . . . he was already fired!
Sweet
They handled right then and there that night
How do you know if bouncers don't always act like that
Bouncers come in two varieties . . . gross and creepy
Naperville puts plain clothes officers in bars
Betsy's sister knows all about them
Buy the bicycle cop calendar
They talk like they walked out of a flame novel
The HR for them must be a single desperate chick
Betsy is glad that Bar Louie handled it
What do you want them to do?
Yes, I am the damaged
I can no longer kiss you
Screaming baby interrupts the show
Betsy moves on the twins and triplets sale
Don't I have the best job ever?
Sure, dumpsters are quaint
I wasn't supposed to be on list
Then I made it in
Planned Parenthood Es Muy Mal Para Aurora
Singletons . . . what the hell is a singleton?
Kris, they are genetically challenged ladies like me that have babies on at a time
Four perms turned at once
You are the one that wrote the blog post
I burned my face with coffee
They all come back to haunt me
We thought it was funny
These women are twitter parenting
Run . . . have you no respect
Are you embarrassed that your mommy tummy is going to slap you in the face?
Run! We are all in the same boat bitches
In today's money
Tell a Friend Friday is going awesome
New stickers should be here today

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Tags: Bar Louie Naperville twins and triplets dumpster diving Planned Parenthood Aurora croncast stickers

Guess where I am?

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 17:24:22 -0500

If you said the Denver airport or locked in a battle of the minds with
John Elway you would be wrong.

I've made contact with Philadelpia, PA.

Hello, city of brotherly love.

Tags: pa philadelpia contact hello city

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 22, 2007

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 07:22:02 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-22.mp3
Show: #400
Length: 35:37
Size: 24.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 22, 2007

The banner says #400 and it is correct
Betsy wants cards now
I am 50 percent of this show sucka!
You treat me like your cousin with a pick-up truck
"Don't ask me to help you move"
Put a sticker on my Volvo
"Don't ask me to help you podcast"
Suburban drama for you Kris
I have been hiding it all day
Bait and switch, You're like a dog Mr. B
Looked into the mailbox
And apparently some of our garbage blew into a neighbors yard
A ton of wet garbage was in it
There was orange stuff like I made it
If it had been out there a week why didn't you pick it up?
I haven't walked by it for a week
Since these people like grass so much
I am going to stuff their mail boxes with grass clippings
The 70 year old moms with college age kids here
One mommy walking on the other side of the street
I should segue back to when we first started the show
Bear you got to try
What has happened over time?
You started out positive . . . now look at you
I started out negative with no expectation for happiness in the burbs . . . now look at me
Yeah, I never leave the house
You keep driving my car
I have driven it 60 miles in the last 6 weeks
The last 800 have come from you
I feel tacky riding around with no hood ornament
What goes around comes around
Before we left for Seattle I was supposed to tell the traffic ticket story
Well, the court story from Denver
I didn't lie to you . . . I just didn't tell you
I knew better than to tell you
I was in a little Scion
Sure I was driving too fast
Has road food so swelled your man cleavage that you can't see the speedometer?
Speed limit should have been 65
Would Mr. Michael Scott please stand up?
This woman stands up
Judge asks 3 times if the person standing is Mr. Michael Scott
I'm thinking Steve Carell from the Office
People at my meeting told me it was speed trap
Made jokes that Colorado is out to get me
I knew on my way to the meeting that I wasn't going to tell
30 minutes of you yelling at me on the show
You would have told me that I was going to end up in jail
Mr. Michael Scott turns out to be a trucker
Betsy says, being pulled over while being tranny

We made it to #400! Thanks for letting us be a part of your life and allowing us to make you laugh. Yes, life is show prep and full of Croncast moments.

Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

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Tags: Steve Carell 400 podcasts Croncast grass clippings Denver moving violations

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 09:59:37 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-27.mp3
Show: #390
Length: 32:29
Size: 22.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

It's been a while since we've done a show
The worst part is I can't tell anyone the story
It will ruin the show
We have to tell everyone we'll tell you later
I did see some of the photos baby
Jeanie and I laughed
Don't start there Bears
This is not the typical Croncast, Kris and Betsy story
Sure I have been supplanted by Jeanie
Mr B would have done this anyway
Do you want to tell your story?
Can I give you some hints to telling a story
We are going to start our story from the very beginning
Jeanie rolls up to my house
We have to go to my sister's kids party
My mom and my dad in the same building, stress
The last time was like 10 years since they were in same room
I had nightmares about how bad this trip was going to be
Epiphany was to dope them out with DVD's
Misgivings? Why? Last year was not enough?
So I strap in the DVD player and monitors
We surprise the kids with it
Strap in the kids and pull away
The power adapter pops in, out, in, out
Elliot,"It's on, It's off. It's on. It's off."
With a former truck driver by your side I shouldn't have been worried
Jeanie took a class in map reading
"Betsy, where is the map?"
"I don't have one."
Simply a print out from mapquest
With the kids I figured it out
Take the group home approach, catch them being good
What does Maggie get?
Green dry erase markers
45 minutes later Jeanie says you've got look at Maggie
The scariest site ever
Maggie colored herself green and put chocolate in her hair
She was laughing maniacally
"I funny. I funny."
So we pull over at a truck stop
I walk in with Gigi
Everyone stops, turns and stares at us
She had lifted her dress and colored all the way to her diaper
That woman is totally talking to Betsy
Dry erase markers come off very easy
Where are you at this point?
Western Illinois
Jeanie wanted to hit the world's largest truck stop
Betsy, "Didn't you listen to last year's vacation show?"
Another thing that we learned last year was to get a hotel room
Jeanie was rolling up in the driveway when you booked it
You didn't remember it
Kris, shut up, this is my show
No map Betsy doesn't know where she is
Elliot and Maggie hit the hotel and want to sleep with mama
Elliot has had it and is ready to sleep in the car
Little Kris was in the backseat complaining
Now he reads numbers he made sure to point out we were speeding
I don't recommend the Super 8 in Lincoln, Nebraska
Isn't there something in Lincoln like a university
Jeanie brings the good trip karma with her
The scary omens of the open road
I had apologized to Jeanie
You have got to heed the signs
Every mile marker was a Slowsky moment
I was amazed that we rolled into Denver/Boulder area
The kids have started to melt down
Hey, you've won another Pokeman card
Jeanie, can I have another car
Honey, Mommy is going 90 mph you need to sit still
They waited until we were in traffic to act up
Every parent knows that you kids don't need anything from you until you are merging onto the interstate
We were behind a Prius
It had a blue hair in it, double whammy
Did the exhaust smell like broccoli or cooked carrots?
When you ride with Betsy you are junk coordinator
Fast food dumped in your lap and Betsy sipping on her diet coke
Give me that grilled chicken bitch
I know you, Booba
Speeder! I won't get in to it
Kris has speeding story to tell
My great Denver court room story
We have been here for 12 minutes into the immaculate clean house where we are staying kids flip out
So we leave the house
Where did you go?
Pearl Street
Do you want to stand on a clogged street in 88 degree heat with hippies
Elliot's hippie story, guy's sign said, "need money for a shirt," but I watched him take off his shirt and stick it under a rock
Sounds like Pearl Street to me
Henry is putting up a mark on the chalkboard right now
I know who your favorite hippie is
Jeanie called Evan to tell him that they were going to see the hippies
"My ship has sunk. I need cash"
I told you it was the pirate
Very herbal
They're all playing guitars and wait for you
No judgment, eh Kris?
Pete the pirate
You could start a fish stick line with his name for $6
I have to stand there and tell my son that this stuff is normal
We saw Goth grandma
She doesn't care anymore
You get passed 70 and start tripping on your titties
The point of this story that children work on 15 minute cycles
Jeanie sees the
Here's the reason the hippies bother me
They are balanced out by smug trust fund babies
Betsy, "I only pan handled once. That is a story for another day."
The next day when you came home from San Francisco I made sure we got home right away
Elliot saves family in the mountains
Give him a hard time, you can't mess with the man
We stopped someplace in between
The place where you buy gas in a bucket
We roll into Rocky Mountain National Park
The kids are watching Scoobie Doo at full blast
We are excited about a fox with dead animals in its mouth
Elliot, "Shush, there is a boy named Elliot in this episode"
Momma, I just saw a squid
Momma, I just saw an alligator
Not even close to being in a forest
It's not funny when you are their mother
He got it from a book you bought him
A book about future animals 10,000 years from now with illustrations
I forgot my cell phone
That is what I do Mr. B
So we start going up the mountain
Jeanie is gripping the OSHA car handle
The blood vessels are popping out from between her fingers
She has gone pale
Maggie, "no up. No up. No up."
Betsy talks Jeanie down
Look I'm driving with no hands
Maggie's sense is I'm strapped in
Shut up guys, Scoobie is on
Wrap the show . . . coming back down the mountain
Maybe a little Elk Mountain Resort, Valhalla on Monday, Wednesday

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Tags: portable DVD Pearl Street Jeanie Bowen summer vaction 2007 Elk Mountain Resort

Where is the show holmes?

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 14:48:13 -0500

Today is a Croncastless day. The travel trolls beat me down today on my way back to Denver and Betsy has been up in the mountains all day with Jeanie and the kids.

So after two full weeks we'll get a show done tonight for some special Tuesday joy joy.

That is all. I am going to try not to fall asleep in the office.

Tags: Croncastless Croncast Jeanie Betsy Tuesday show

Yes, your flight leaves at 11:15 a.m.

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 13:45:21 -0500

Suuuure, it does.

Extra time at the Denver airport can mean only one thing or three . . . more time to think about John Elway Dodge, reminisce about our awesome summer vacation and kill some time with a nearly meaningless blog post.

I do have to say that Boulder looked beautiful this morning with some remaining snow on the Flat Irons and doe eating apple blossoms off a tree on Upland street.

Tags: Boulder Upland Street Denver airport flat irons snowy foothills

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 08, 2007

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 07:33:02 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-08.mp3

Show: #324
Length: 30:02
Size: 20.6mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 08, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Robert Sullivan.
The big news is that the show is now Betsy only!
So today we are going to talk about plushies
1/2 on why you shouldn't buy plushie smurf's
Buy the PVC ones they are good
OK Kris is still here
Betsy says that I make is all drama
Tell the people what the news is!
BMX'n baldie that is close
This is the third new job . . . did I give it away?
I got a new gig!!!!
Podcasting and coding full time from home in my basement
I answered one of those signs by the road . . . not really
Mommy will need some alone time
I'm here. That was my commute up the stairs
Kris, you have to reign in your workaholic ways
I have had the two jobs for long
It was time to slow down and focus my career
One job dedicated to distance education and one for myself podcasting
I say, "stoked" 50 times during this bit
Stay at home working out of the basement, you're already dead pale
You haven't been on the Wii in a week
This has been going on for a while
The ball has been rolling but it had to fall into place just right
Business transactions that had to work
Do you have a title? Nope
The cards are on the way
If I wanna be with the man I can be a VP of something
Man, it goes on and on
We flew out and looked at houses
That's hilarious, Kris . . . didn't you listen to our vacation shows?
Boulder is a world apart from Denver
Celebrating Betsy's birthday two days early
Her mom and her sister celebrated . . . I sat there with no gift
Who are your customers for the purses?
Not me . . . ladies like me are Stone Mountain bitches
Her mom wants to go on a QVC tour for vacation
The matching outfit from the hanger trip
Friday night . . . oh Betsy . . . invited to a gallery, dressed for bingo
Asking for your husband's help to dress
Granny grey wool pants, purple sweater with yarn hanging from it
Betsy looking very 1991
The dopey brown shoes capped it off
"I'm ready bear," baby the bingo outfit isn't going to cut it
What do you have that is black?
So Betsy wore her mom's clothes
Left to her own devices she would be in trouble
"Why did you like it so much Bears"
"Uh, you brushed your hair."
Dress up nothing, not even a match about her velure suit

Tags: velure suit Stone Mountain pants QVC tour PVC Smurf Robert Sullivan

Rerun Friday is upon us

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 11:08:52 -0600

This is for those of you catching up on shows. We're heading out of town tomorrow and won't be around to record a new show. Instead of doing a cheesy "What is your worst Thanksgiving moment Betsy?" show we're going to rerun the vacation series.

Maybe you can distract your family with our misery and laughter from our trip to Denver.

And from us to you . . . have as good a Thanksgiving Holiday as you can.

Tags: Thanksgiving Denver vacation Croncast vacation Betsy Smith Resale Queen

Vacation: Act #4 Home Sweet Home

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 06:56:17 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-19.mp3

Show: #238
Length: 49:20
Size: 33.9 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 19, 2006

Act #4 is the wrap up. Our declaration of our new found love with home and our love affairs with the benign lives that have come to repeat everday. Betsy will garage sale, go to Goodwill and I will hide out in the basement.

Show notes a bit later.

Until then feel free to prepare your entry into our "My vavaction sucked too!" contest. How do I enter, Kris? Click the image below to find out more.

Tags: John Elway Dodge Denver Naperville Slowsky Rick Klau thetrip

When speaking up counts!

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 12:15:24 -0500

Our voices will be heard. Well, other than the podcasts, they will be heard in text! For the next few months when someone types in "john elway dodge" at Google we will be right there in the top 10. Starting today we are ranked #5 from only the first two shows. I can't wait until the rest of the shows and posts that are up already get indexed. It is only up from here.

If they had treated us right, think about how our message regarding their brand would have been different.

Update 6/19: Just got this from Lachie tonight from down under. Looks like we are #3 in Australia for John Elway Dodge. I think it would be a total bitch to get that rig across the ocean. However, if any people can, it is the people who invented the Ute.

Tags: Google John Elway Dodge Arapahoe seo Denver Autonation

Vacation: Act #3 Denver to Naperville

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 05:27:35 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-16.mp3

Show: #237
Length: 1:28:43
Size: 60.9 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 16, 2006

Act #3 is the longest single Croncast we have ever recorded. Every minute is necessary as we explain that this episode definitely isn't something you want to listen to with your kids around.

Why is that? We take you from Denver to Naperville in only 1 hour 23 minutes when it took us 18 hours straight. Which takes some heavy lifting and many,many four letter words.

Show notes will arrive at a later date.I am still trying to process this part of the vacation and reliving it again isn't something that I am looking foward too.

More will follow about the contest for the 30GB iPod also. For now you will have to listen to the show. Enjoy!.

Coming up on Monday . . . Vacation: Act #4 The Aftermath

Tags: John Elway Dodge Denver Naperville Slowsky Red Lion Hotel thetrip

Vacation: Act #2 Omaha to Denver

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:12:25 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-14.mp3

Show: #236
Length: 1:02:26
Size: 42.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 14, 2006

Act #2 is twice the length of our normal shows, but just like our trip we keep pushing through to make the Friday deadline for a full Act #3. That way we won't ever have to talk about this trip again.

So buckle up compadres as we take you on day 2,3 and the close of day 4 as we go from Omaha to Kearney, NE (we love Kearney, Midway Dodge and Thomas Hardage) to Denver.

So where were we?
Oh yeah Omaha
Go back to Monday, Act #1 if you haven't listened yet
We don't have time to reflect up it
Awake after 5 hours of deep sleep . . . yeah right
Epiphany for Kris, he figures out what the problem is with Slowsky
It appears that the gas peddle can't reach the floor or is being stopped
Handling dirty carpet
Slowsky is accelerating awesome
Up I-680 no problem up a hill
Air conditioning still blowing out the defrost vent
We hit fourth gear and Slowsky bogs down
You looked like someone had hit you in the crotch really hard
Did we stop or turn around in Omaha?Nope
I was gonna pull the oxen through and over the Rockies
Common sense would have turned us around
Betsy asks the cashier at a truck stop about our issues cause they should know
Our game plan becomes eat only at McDonald's and get to Denver
Stopping for gas over and over and over
Rolling at 60 pushing Slowsky to the breaking point
Betsy says cars are loaded weapons
I drove slowsky like a retired polo pony
Once AAA was taken care of it was on, drive it like I stole it
My foot is to the floor burning up the car
Slowsky's cry for help . . . check engine light flashes and then dims
Nebraska is the windiest state

Drafting with semi trucks because I can't go over 65
Speed limit is 75 which means 85 for all
People in Nebraska know there is nothing worth driving slow for
I still have no respect for the slow driver
The oil pressure gauge was nearly in the red
The van may explode at anytime
All the fun of a road trip and fantasies about stopping and eating the natives food, gone
No tourist traps for Slowsky
35 miles to the next exit
The arch over I-80 is where the Check Engine Light stays on

Hilly Iowa, not the hilly Nebraska
Calming the kids to soothe the hunching Kris
We get lucky and find Kearney, NE
Even luckier we find Midway Dodge of Kearney

Right next door was Enterprise
We meet Thomas Hardage, the only person not to let us down on this trip
It's 11:30 am and they close and 12:00 pm
He was a Slowsky prophet
he let us know that he 5 hour drive would take us 8 to 9 hours to Denver
There's Enterprise, we should leave car for repair
Kris says, "no" we're going to Denver and Betsy agrees
Help was put in our path and we tell it to fuck off
There was no charge to look at our car
You should not drive off into the great beyond in your broke ass van
"In Denver it will be really expensive", we pass again
Back on the road, 55 mph tops
Kris tries to make it go 56 entire way to Denver
We followed the same truck for about 300 miles

I-76 West down to Denver off of I-80

We are gaining control
We can see mountains
Now we are back to the itinerary, Yes!
Two straight days in a van
I will tell you when you can go to the bathroom
Telling Betsy over and over that we should have flown and what we would have been doing
From now on we fly, first class if we can afford it, 2-3 days at destination, rental car waiting and fly out on day 3
Coming in on the wrong side of Denver
Car collecting seems to be a hobby in Colorado
Hotel has Denver in name but it surely isn't in Denver
Slowsky is now down to 50 mph tops
But we've made it to Denver now
We're still in control . . . sort of
Slowsky was making death nells
Right near our hotel exit there is a Dodge dealer, John Elway Dodge on Arapahoe
The ultimate welcome to Denver . . . an arrest in our hotel parking lot

Navy wife-beater doesn't go with blond chest hair
Doesn't matter how nice a hotel is an arrest in parking lot harshes the mellow
We hit the hotel, 6th floor
18 giggling 12 year old girls right next to our room
Awesome birrthday for her
They were playnig door slamming game, Kris says no
Elliot loses his mind when we return to front desk to get another room
It is time to eat
I was bleeding money our of my eyeballs, really, dollar bills
Should have tossed one of the party girls over the balcony
Big wedding reception at the hotel, but no one was staying there, not one
The restaurant is out of highchairs, all in use for reception
It was time to start crying
We couldn't catch a break
One lone patron was going to hear our woes
What restaurants are near here?
We make it to Outback
Nothing goes wrong so Kris hugs the waitress
Elliot gorges himself, turns grey and runs to bathroom to puke
He has same gene that Betsy and I have where we eat to comfort ourselves
Where's that cereal? Do we have milk?
Needs to feel good in my belly
How sad is our happiness an Outback? We could have done this at home!!!!!!!
Research will take up whole half a work day
Talk begins about putting the family on a plane
Betsy understands her father's actions now from when he did it when she was a kid
It was time to stop the madness
We arrange for a rental car from Enterprise
Only place to do so is at Denver International Airport on Sunday
Shuttle is $20 but you need an appointment, what?
Concierge calls taxi for me and off I go
Denver knows nothing of urban sprawl
There could be free range beef within city limits
I tell cabbie DIA
The airport was 29 miles from our hotel
Ride to Ohare will take $28 bones of my money in a cab
Cabbie asks for $65 dollars for the ride!!! WTF

More notes and photos later. To get the rest of this you'll have to listen to the show for now. It is really hard to keep reliving this.

But I can't leave out the Act #2 cliff hanger . . . John Elway Dodge doesn't call us, we call them to hear, "Mam, the service manager didn't call you? Well, there's a problem with your vehicle. You see, one of our lot attendants . . . "

Coming up on Friday . . . Vacation: Act #3 Denver to Naperville

Update: These photos are from our 3 hours in Colorado Springs at Garden of the Gods and someplace in the downtown area. Family photo credited to guy I thought was homeless but turned out to be one of the dudes who just hang out to watch people go by.

Tags: Kearney Denver John Elway Dodge Arapahoe Slowsky Midway Dodge thetrip

Vacation: Act #1 Naperville to Omaha

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 05:59:32 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-12.mp3

Show: #235
Length: 37:05
Size: 25.4 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 12, 2006

Thus begins our sharing of a vacation that ended 5 days early. We are not quite sure that our big summer vacaction driving to Denver in Slowsky was really a vacation. But we are sure that we will never drive anywhere on vacation again.

What we can say about our trip is that with the help of many lucid memories and five days to regain our footing on solid ground that we would like to bring your our trip in three separate podcasts. There is too much to share in a single 30 to 40 minute podcast that deserves great attention to detail.

What do you call a thousand mile trip in you wife's savings account? If you're us, show prep.

The long, feel good intro
Sending email easy like
When we last left you it was June 2 of 2006 a millenia ago
Things were much simpler then
H.G. Wells Time machine could take us back
Walking hand in hand with your spuse at the beach
I would have liked to have decided not to go on vacation
We should have flown
Short version, we leave, there's trouble and we come home five days early
Here we go
We're going to rcap the whole thing in 3 shows
It is June 2, 2006 in nice and sunny Naperville, IL
Kris is an hour late and damned Skype showed it to Betsy
Moments of our life are really important to you
Betsy pretends that she is me on Skype sometimes
The planets seemed to be aligned for our trip
The eBay pick-up guy got here right on time
Naperville was going to be hardest part with traffic
Driving Slowsky is like launching a boat
An hour and a half later w'ere making 8 miles of progress
The van is too tall for most drive thru awnings
Slowsky went to the dealer and got $1500 of repairs to travel worldwide
This is the point where you start adding up the costs
Gas doesn't count as vehicle maintenance
We finally make it to I-88
Slowsky is topping out at 70 mph with nothing more to give
First omen . . . we ignore it
We're gonna make it to Omaha
It wasn't a shifting issue but I am pushing Slowsky really hard
We get near DeKalb which is 50 miles from home and think about turning it around again
We push on
Betsy says "no" to my lead foot and thinks the 70 mph thing is good Slowsky is sucking gas and needs refill at 180 mile mark, still in Illinois Another omen Kris starts venting that we should have flown at gas station number two
"I drove the Alaskan Highway and need a new car."
All the signs were there
It was our decision to keep moving on
Not true to Betsy's faith
Dinner at The World's Largest Truck Stop on I-80
Maybe it is safe because it's a tourist trap
Nope, it's a 3-D world of a sex offender registry
All just minor inconveniences at this point
Bleeding money out of my eye balls
10 years ago this would have been an adventure but with kids it is a nightmare
In Iowa they drive on the grass
Not a single room vacant
Pulling off on Omaha hoping for an empty hotel room
Scoring a room 20 miles north of downtown
10,000 lesbians converged on Omaha the same day as our vacation, of course

Coming up on Wednesday . . . Vacation: Act #2 Omaha to Denver

Tags: vacation Denver John Elway Dodge Naperville Omaha Slowsky thetrip

Drive to Denver day 1 & 2 pictures

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 07:33:32 -0500

My bald head from the bench seat in the back.

Wider shot of Slowsky's interior.

Elliot stays busy with Mega Man for PSP

Can you guess where this is? Not necessarily the business name but type.

If you guessed service department at a Dodge dealer you were right! Slowsky's first real stop on Saturday at 11:30 a.m. We are ecstatic to say the least, 70 MPH tops.

Betsy shows her disgust.

Maggie demonstrates that Elliot's Bionicles are better than candy.

This shot is the best representation of our trip, sunshine and rain.

Booba chills with the kids on our super slow drive to Denver, 63 MPH tops for 300 miles.

Shot of the semi I followed for 250 of the 300 miles at speeds of 55 to 63 MPH.

Did I mention that the check engine light has been on for 600 of the 1000 miles? The service shop said it would be cool to drive just slow. REALLY!?!?

Kris's command center for checking email, hydration and podcast listening.

I-76 West to Denver was so Slowsky this shot didn't even blur.

Finally, mountains.

Welcome to Denver! Nothing says, "Welcome" like an arrest in the parking lot of your hotel upon arrival.

Tags: vacation Slowsky pictures Denver police arrest

Vacation is go time June 2-11

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 12:08:14 -0500

I'm already late and it's a good thing that Betsy never reads this!

For those you you not caught up with the most recent shows where we discuss vacation . . . now you are. We will be gone for the next week and according to Betsy we'll be out of recording range.

We'll be back with stories from vacation on Wednesday June 15th. Until then feel free to scour through the old shows or get caught up with the new to you ones.

Tags: vacation Denver Boulder Colorado Slowsky

Betsy and her husband Kris May 26, 2006

Fri, 26 May 2006 06:08:47 -0500

Croncast - 2006-05-26.mp3

Show: #231
Length: 34:35
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 26, 2006

Extended intro
If you can turn a door knob you can send an email to us thanks to contact link
He's getting old and may not have many more birthdays
Life expectancy
Our weekend will contain progress
Betsy's huge weekend will start the way any one should . . . "Greatest Garage Sale Ever"
Calvalry Christian Church garage sale
Every year it rains
It's a mega church
They have a no pricing policy - Betsy's strategy . . . find someone who is very elderly
Bitter, barren 40 year old woman is not a winner
When raising money for god they will charge accordingly
The trip get Slowksy
It will have a bald eagle on the side
Lego train has not arrived in Italy
Communication through online translation sites - bad
The snow man, the one from the picture on May 19 sold for $149.99
Now they are multiplying in my basement
Betsy's Teletubby collections of yore
Maggie loves playing with the voice boxes
Lunch with Henry
What is a "creeper"?
So we're going to Colorado and Betsy is finding paces to go
She reads a review of her favorite . . . $1300 a night
Kris is afraid of the bears
End of show shout out to Jason Landis and the crew in Beaverton

Kris will be speaking at the Portable Media Expo in September!
My session is: Leveraging Your Knowledge as a Successful Podcasting Consultant If you want to a meet and greet there let us know - it's in Ontario, CA east of LA

Tags: garage sale Slowsky Italy Colorado Jason Landis stuffed snowmen

Vacation is on!

Wed, 24 May 2006 09:09:53 -0500

We've got everything square to hit the road on Friday June 2nd after the man wraps his kindergarten session. Summer officially begins. Now if it will just warm up!

Most of you know we'll be heading off to Denver and Boulder. We know no one out there (I plan on a business meeting or two, so I know those guys) and are looking forward to bumming around. It has been a long time since we did one of these trips and it will be interesting to see how the kids react to it. Especially if we take the Scion xB. Hopefully, this "Slowsky" purchase will work out and it can handle a few thousand miles.

On the way west we'll be taking I-80 which cuts through Iowa and Nebraska on the way to Colorado. If you are near any part of this trip let's meet up. Or if you have any recommendations for spots to visit post a comment here and we can set something up.

Tags: vacation Denver slowsky Scion xB I-80 Colorado

Betsy and her husband Kris May 10, 2006

Wed, 10 May 2006 08:57:35 -0500

Croncast - 2006-05-10.mp3

Show: #226
Length: 31:43
Size: 21.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 10, 2006

This was a wierd show for us and things sort of go astray towards the end. This message is just a warning that it was one of those days.

Lay it on me sister
Betsy is onry today
It was there winking at me
The special cabinet at Goowill is for the "nice stuff"
Louis Vuitton most faked item on the planet
Backpacks are expensive
It has a serial number
Louis Vuitton don't come with a plastic wrap handle
I find eel skin wallets all the time
Ring around the wallet
It's like a cold war missile silo
It's coming this Friday
Gigi is having a rough day
It's giving Kris a geek tic
I picked it up and new it was fake
It is made of nubuck
I sold shoes in the hood I know nubuck
It turns out the Louis is a fake
What the is a speedy bag?
Maggie is upset that the Bionicle away
Betsy feels all couped up
After dark shopping at the resale shop
I have a big giant bird on my neck and nobody says shit
If it were a tattoo it would be dark
My homage to you Mr. B. . . . damn!
Soon to be a sterile Mr. B.
Sure they are gonna give me a local but no needles please
The siders hopped up on Mountain Dew and 8-balls
The handy man calls back
You're not welcome here
Betsy really should have married a handy man
Getting chipped
David Blaine, not magic . . . Britney Spears pregnant again, that's magic
What if you schedule was "laundry"?
The vacation trip here we come
Fill the Scion with batteries for the laptop and iPod
The dinner offers - between Chicago and Denver send us a message.
We're up for almost anything

Tags: Louis Vuitton nubuck Croncast vacation Denver vasectomy

Betsy and her husband Kris May 08, 2006

Mon, 08 May 2006 06:05:03 -0500

Croncast - 2006-05-08.mp3

Show: #225
Length: 32:24
Size: 22.2 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 08, 2006

The long intro Betsy with the Peacock on her neck

You wish it was real don't you
The white lady henna party

The Indian guy, "Yeah, we do that . . . on our hands."

Betsy explains the henna, sort of
What happened to Mr. Yuck?
Patterns and practice
Most people do it on the palm of your hand
Falling asleep and someone put tooth paste in your hand
The people I hung out with with meaner than that
I can't pick friends very well
Betsy's new posse 10 years plus
"You were pregnant in school too."
Betsy wanted it to look like blood testicles
The patchouli crew
A mixture of bounty tube and patchouli
The UU highschoolers
Garage sale happenings
The woman stepped on something
Betsy goes to look and it's baby bunnies
Tapped on shoulder and Lhasa Apso eyes whips around screaming
Concerned home owner slash garage sale haver saves bunnies
Selling your old shrubs at garage sales
Betsy is used to taking control
We're going on vacation to Denver
If you are on the way to Denver let us know and we'll do a meal
We will post our route this week

Tags: henna peacock patchouli baby bunnies Lhasa Apso eyes garage sale

Betsy and her husband Kris May 01, 2006

Mon, 01 May 2006 06:47:11 -0500

Croncast - 2006-05-01.mp3

Show: #222
Length: 26.:55
Size: 18.5 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 01, 2006

Evidently it's May Day
What the hell is May Day?
It's the only thing Unitarians worship
Specualtion like the Wiccans
What is the common glue that holds you people together?
It's the "c" word
Someone shows up with an engineering textbook
Somehow it works like an onion stew
Betsy doesn't get the drinking blood and bread
No bake sale
Grandma's great George Foreman grill
Giving your peeps a bad rep
The only vegan cassarole at a church
Selling a rusty axe (yes it deserves the 'e') on eBay
The henna experience from scratch
We're going on vacation to Denver in a few months
Dutailier Glider goes for $240! Betsy's investment $60
The whole Chicago "My frient"
It's a movement I'm starting, my frient, it will sweep the nation
The routine requests by cats who should be selling knives door to door
Making nice with the secretary
I offered you a brownie and you told me no
Giving birth with Betsy in the room
Cacious Gray the oldest horse at Arlington Raceway

Tags: Dutailier Glider eBay May Day Arlington Raceway henna