desk | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

friday marching orders - desk of kris smith

Fri, 04 Mar 2011 14:14:44 -0600

Man Knockers, Starvation Diet, Squirt Gun Legend

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 10:55:19 -0500

Episode: #644
Length: 29:58
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Five Stars on the iTunes
I gotta give you 5 stars
On your weight loss starvation diet
You looking svelt and
Moobtacular
Agreed, baby, my man knockers are heavy
Learning to drive at 12
Oral surgery plus rubber bands and chicken wire
Country road community
Squirt gun legends
Where is the cabbie?

Tags: moobtacular svelt starvation diet country roads cabbie update

twitter desktop background 20091217

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 15:02:44 -0600

Tags: background desktop twitter

Season 21 Ep 17: Fly home stoned, Polyester rugs, Gesticulate freely

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 12:37:27 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-27.mp3
Show: #517
Length: 27:26
Size: 25.2 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Get it on
Leave us some comments here or reviews in iTunes
Not really vicious
But spousal hate
Funny on many levels
A paid gig for Betsy
Will you be on IMDB?
I don't know what you're talking about
March every Thursday
Five other chicks all under me
Sounds like my kind of life
It's all coming together
Adam Carolla is now on the podcasting
Maybe we need to hire him
Six women under me
I want to write that book
Re-organized the basement
I had to get it on
Needed to change up my space
This winter is killing me emotionally
Short shorn polyester rug
It's 85 colors and shades of testosterone
Been stuck down here working for so long
I got a bit claustrophobic
Proud you cleaned up
Making space
I was afraid to touch your desk
Now I can gesticulate freely
It's like we're single again
Right from your mother's clutches to mine
You would be perfectly happy at public storage
Don't ship Grandma's meds via FedEx
So she can fly home stoned
Right, like God intended
Sherlock in Mumbai

Tags: Adam Carolla Podcast FedEx mule gesticulate freely Sherlock in Mumbai

Croncast Listener Survey Results

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 18:28:13 -0500

Well, we've shared with you, and now you've shared with us. Below is the survey data that over 200 of you filled out during the past year. I thought you guys might like to see what other listeners think of the show (good and bad), spend online, how much loot they make, if they have or don't have kids and a ton of other stuff.

Thanks for sharing!

Update: Likes and Dislikes have been moved to their own post.

Demographics
What is your age?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	<12	1	1%
	18-24	8	4%
	25-34	90	42%
	35-44	83	39%
	45-54	22	10%
	55-64	9	4%
Totals		213	100%

What is your gender?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Male	118	55%
	Female	95	45%
Totals		213	100%

What is the highest level of education you have achieved?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Less than high school graduate	3	1%
	Graduated high school or received equivalent degree (e.g., GED)	9	4%
	Attended college but did not graduate	40	19%
	Graduated from 2-year college	23	11%
	Graduated from 4-year college	79	37%
	Masters Degree	44	21%
	Doctoral Degree	10	5%
	Other Professional Degree (MD, LLB, etc)	5	2%
Totals		213	100%

Please indicate which best describes the total combined income before taxes of all members of your household.
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Under $5,000	5	3%
	$10,000 - $19,999	5	3%
	$20,000 - $29,999	12	6%
	$30,000 - $39,999	15	7%
	$40,000 - $49,999	12	6%
	$50,000 - $59,999	25	12%
	$60,000 - $74,999	20	10%
	$75,000 - $99,999	32	16%
	$100,000 - $149,999	53	26%
	$150,000 - $199,999	16	8%
	$200,000 or over	9	4%
Totals		204	100%

What is your employment status?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Full-time (35 hours or more)	156	73%
	Part-time (less than 35 hours)	16	8%
	Student	12	6%
	Retired	5	2%
	Temporarily unemployed	1	1%
	Homemaker	19	9%
	Other	4	2%
Totals		213	100%

What is your current marital status?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Married	146	70%
	Single, never married	45	21%
	Divorced or Separated	18	9%
	Widowed	1	1%
Totals		210	100%

Counting yourself, how many people are currently living in your household?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	1	24	11%
	2	67	32%
	3	39	19%
	4	54	26%
	5	20	10%
	6	3	1%
	7	1	1%
	8	2	1%
Totals		210	100%

How many children under the age of 18 are currently living in your household?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	None	103	49%
	One	38	18%
	Two	48	23%
	Three	15	7%
	Four	3	1%
	Five	1	1%
	More than Five	1	1%
Totals		209	100%

Which of the following best describes your primary place of residence?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	I rent the apartment/co-op/condo where I live	35	17%
	I rent the house in which I live	21	10%
	I own the co-op/condominium where I live	6	3%
	I own the house in which I live	137	65%
	Other	11	5%
Totals		210	100%

What language is spoken most often in your household?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	English	203	95%
	Spanish	1	1%
	German	2	1%
	Norwegian	1	1%
	Other, Please Specify	7	3%
Totals		214	100%

Purchasing
Have you shopped online in the past 30 days?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Yes	194	92%
	No	16	8%
Totals		210	100%

How much did you personally spend on internet order items in the last 12 months?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Nothing	4	2%
	$1-$49	8	4%
	$50-$99	13	6%
	$100-$199	23	11%
	$200-$499	52	25%
	$500-$799	35	17%
	$800+	76	36%
Totals		211	100%

How often did you attend the movies in the last 90 days (3 months)?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Once a week or more	3	1%
	2-3 times a month	21	10%
	Once a month	50	24%
	Less than once a month	71	34%
	I did not attend the movies in the last 90 days	66	31%
Totals		211	100%

When did your household last purchase or lease a vehicle?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	In the past 12 months	57	27%
	1-2 years ago	52	25%
	3-4 years ago	54	26%
	5 or more years ago	35	17%
	My household does not own or lease a vehicle	11	5%
Totals		209	100%

How many credit/debit cards do you own?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	None	9	4%
	1	25	12%
	2	62	30%
	3	42	21%
	4	38	19%
	5	11	5%
	6 or more	17	8%
Totals		204	100%

How much did you spend for computer software for home use in the past 12 months?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Nothing	37	18%
	$1 - $99	49	24%
	$100 - $199	37	18%
	$200 - $299	38	19%
	$300 - $499	18	9%
	$500 or more	25	12%
Totals		204	100%

Careers
How large is the organization in which you work?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Less than 20 employees	28	18%
	20 to 99 employees	24	16%
	100 to 999 employees	40	26%
	1,000+ employees	60	39%
	I don't know	2	1%
Totals		154	100%

In which industry does your company primarily operate?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Arts/Entertainment/Recreation	6	4%
	Banking/Finance/Insurance	12	8%
	Business Services	4	3%
	Computer Hardware	4	3%
	Education	18	12%
	Government/Military/Defense	14	9%
	Internet	11	7%
	IT - Systems Integration	13	9%
	Manufacturing	8	5%
	Media	4	3%
	Medical/Healthcare	14	9%
	Professional, Scientific, & Technical Services	7	5%
	Real Estate	4	3%
	Retail/Distribution/Import/Export	3	2%
	Telecommunications	2	1%
	Other, Please Specify	29	19%
Totals		153	100%

What is your job title?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Chairman/CEO/COO/Partner/President/Owner/Principal	11	7%
	EVP/General Manager	1	1%
	Vice President	5	3%
	Director	8	5%
	Manager	38	25%
	Staff - non management employee	90	59%
Totals		153	100%

With which of the following job functions are you primarily involved?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Arts/Creative/Design	6	3%
	Business Development/Strategic Planning	7	4%
	Consulting	11	6%
	Customer Service	8	4%
	Education/Teaching	11	6%
	Engineering	1	1%
	Executive	4	2%
	Finance	7	4%
	Healthcare Provider	4	2%
	Human Resources	4	2%
	IT Services	27	15%
	Legal Services	2	1%
	Production/Operations	19	11%
	Research	5	3%
	Sales/Marketing	6	3%
	Software Development	2	1%
	Technology Support/Help Desk	6	3%
	Other, Please Specify	51	28%
Totals		181	100%

Listening Habits
Do you subscribe to the RSS feed for this show?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	Yes	188	83%
	No, I listen to or watch this show without subscribing	39	17%
Totals		227	100%

How many episodes of this online show have you listened to or watched?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	None (I just saw this link to the survey on the site)	1	0%
	2-3	1	0%
	4-5	3	1%
	6 or more	223	98%
Totals		228	100%

How often do you listen to or watch this show?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	I always listen to/watch each new episode	211	94%
	I sometimes listen to/watch each new episode	11	5%
	I rarely listen to/watch each new episode	2	1%
Totals		224	100%

About how much of each show episode do you generally listen to or watch?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	I always listen to/watch the entire episode	215	96%
	Usually at least 75%	10	4%
Totals		225	100%

On average, how many times do you listen to or watch each episode?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	One time	210	93%
	Two times	13	6%
	Three times	2	1%
Totals		225	100%

How do you most often listen to this podcast?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	On my computer	60	29%
	On my MP3, iPod or other portable player	141	68%
	On my cell phone	2	1%
	Other, Please Specify	3	2%
Totals		206	100%

How do you most often listen to or watch this podcast?
	Answer	Responses	Ratio
	On an iPod, MP3 player or other portable device with NO Internet capabilites	17	90%
	On an iPhone, PSP, cell phone, or other portable device with Internet capabilities while NOT connected to the Internet	1	5%
	Other, Please Specify	1	5%
Totals		19	100%

Satisfaction
Subject	Importance	Satisfaction	Gap
Audio Quality	8.22	9.53	-1.31
Video Quality	3.29	5.43	-2.14
Overall Quality	8.66	9.38	-0.72
Content	9.05	9.10	-0.05
Host(s)	9.32	9.52	-0.20
Reliability (new episodes available when promised)	7.77	9.04	-1.27
Length of episodes	7.07	8.82	-1.75
Frequency of new episodes	7.78	9.02	-1.24
Placement of ads or sponsorships in podcast	4.44	8.25	-3.81
Website design	5.40	7.86	-2.46
Website content	5.77	8.00	-2.23
Overall Satisfaction		9.31

Tags: Croncast Survey Kris Smith Betsy Smith Advertise Cronast Demographics

Mother-in-law on Linux? Yep.

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 11:35:15 -0600

Am I crazy? Nope. It's show time for Linux.

Some of the the Linux flavors have matured enough to be great solutions for keeping family members safe from viruses and giving them the tools, graphically, that they need. So much so that Dell is now offering computers with it as an alternative to Windows.

However, it's not just family members that benefit, it saves the "son-in-law tech support company" a ton of time and headaches.

And now there is a great tool available called Automatix that is a great asset for installing new apps quickly. Sure, I am comfortable with command line work but if there is a gui available that can make installing software simpler than finding a package, decompressing, cd to directory and then running . . . well, I am all for it.

You can see from the photo above that I chose Xubuntu for the install, a smaller footprint of Ubuntu. It's designed to run on low RAM machines.

It's perfect for a mother-in-law prone to installing software from every popup ad that she encounters. Which is the reason that her Toshiba laptop has a desktop that looks like this:

So far so good.

Tags: Ubuntu Xubuntu Toshiba Dell laptop Linux

New Flickr Uploadr makes me want to upload

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:08:51 -0600

I caught this blog post this morning about the Flickr release of an updated version of their desktop uploader.

It is a much needed upgrade and . . . and . . . for those of you, like me, that use Flickr for backing up your photos will love that the new version doesn't force you to resize large images. Being able to archive my original images to Flickr just made the service even more useful.

It's available for Windows and Mac. However, at Flickr the links for the download are still pointing to the old version.

Get version 3.0 in the original post.

Thanks, DI and Yahoo!

Tags: Flickr Uploadr desktop upload Flickr uploader 3.0 archive flickr

Where's the Friday show?

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 12:02:49 -0500

Well, there wasn't one. We've been working it for the last two days at New Media Expo in the fine LA suburb of Ontario.

We'll bring the funny back on Monday, no doubt, and back on track.

So far it has been a great trip with about 40 mini live shows as Betsy keeps'em rolling.

Tags: New Media Expo Betsy Smith Portable Media Expo xv6700

Not a good morning so far

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 08:31:43 -0500

For starters, Betsy and I knock out an 18 minute show and when I go to save it Explorer freezes up, desktop icons disappear and task bar is gone. No big deal. I can restart Explorer right? Nope. Doesn't matter SoundForge saves a temp file of the recording and will recover it when I reboot. Nope, show's poof gone.

So I then get on the horn with Sony about a replacement recovery disc that I bought for my main system that hasn't arrived. Turns out that their web system holds orders in memory on a server someplace in the world and then transfers it to a "confirmation" server that then enters the order into their system.

Hello, Sony, 1998 called and they want their antiquated state-of-the-art jalopy web application back. When I asked about why the order isn't processed immediately online SINCE I WAS ISSUED AN ORDER NUMBER I was told that I could talk to a supervisor. My reply, "Listen, I don't have time for this. Please send me the discs."

The short of it was that my information was in the system for 7 days, no confirmation (WTF?) and when I ordered the part over the phone . . . my order was instantly confirmed and will be shipped today. So if you need to buy a part for your computer from Sony don't use that thingy called the internet made of the tubes . . . pick up Alexander Graham Bell's miracle device from 1876, speak into it and someone from Sony will be right with you to confirm and ship your order.

Tags: Sony DAPC Alexander Graham Bell Sony computer VAIO recovery DVD 1998 web

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 06, 2007

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 08:24:48 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-06.mp3
Show: #394
Length: 36:42
Size: 25.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 06, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Early intro to explain this show has lots of the electric popping noise in it. I thought I had this figured out for the show recording but I didn't. However, I did find a solution after today's show was recorded . . . clear shows from here on out.

My windscreen smells like a pack of condoms
What you got in your suitcase?
Yeah it has packed since I left for Colorado
OK Kris, mine smells like a today's sponge left out for four days
It's been 3 weeks since we have done a show with just us
The untold story, I almost didn't go to Colorado, Kris
Is this like Slowsky?
We fly in the face of karma
I preemptively heed the warnings
Four days out from leaving for Boulder it begins
Like the Volvo won't come out of park again
OK Blackwater Betsy
They drag the old decrepit bitch in
Volvo of Lisle has repaired it for the 4th time
They give me a Hyundai
We know what the problem is mam . . . you dripped some soda in there
No, look at the record . . . this is the 4th time
If I can't drink soda in my car remove the cup holders
The problem is that everything in the gear shifting area has been replaced
Splenda is not sugar, it is a secret ingredient in concrete
Now I owe the dealership $300
That is one less cool experience at Elk Mountain Resort
How am I going to help you out? I will be in San Francisco
That would be cash at hand
Your guilt and negativity goes both ways
I get to the DMV with Gigi on my hip to get new plates
Line to another line to another line
Boss Hog will drag you out by your ear
Don't get out of hand Ms. Mommy pant
Can we get a supervisor over here?
I know that is the auditor
Mam, your plates are illegal!
Oh, now I am going to be arrested at the DMV
I end up in a line with bikers
A line full of the scariest men
They all keep trying to talk to Goo
I've never seen a baby give that look
She's not going to ride bitch to anybody
She'll be leading your gang in 10 years
I know exactly what the problem is
There is only one man in Springfield who can take care of this
The bikers, Skanky and Skanky
It turns out that Skanky wants to sell his car to Skanky
Maggie hears the guy yell and she freaks out
Now I am freaking out
All your fault Mr. B
Your likability was going down by the day
The plates from Slowsky moved over to Volvo
I don't own the Volvo, you do Kris!!!!
What if I want to hit the road in peace?
Thanks Oprah
I was in there for 53 minutes
I got sucked in to other peoples drama as I waited
Betsy gets attacked by a tick
Now she needs to tell the neighborhood
The neighbor tells her that she just got back from New Jersey
She was there to help out a family member that got sick from a tick bite
The ticks in New Jersey know your name before they attack
This is all happening the night before you leave
Thank god the Elk Mountain staff is released early every morning to remove all ticks and flea dip the deer
I will never have a vacation as good as this because I am married to you
Oh, you are too kind baby
I was holed up 30 miles from Boulder in a hotel by the highway
They call themselves suburbs, but they don't know
Working late at night doing the nerd thing
I get to the hotel late
You're supposed to have a non-smoking . . . don't have it
You're supposed to have king . . . don't have it
The room smelled musty and like nothing I had smelled before
All this while I have to rationalize hopping into a bed that a lot lizard just has sex with a trucker in
The next morning I wake up and head down to the front desk
I bitch and moan then realize that this girl is 11 years old
I ask to be moved to another room
She reaches into her pocket and pulls cell phone
A roadside motel run by pre-teens
"I can't move you but my mom can. I can call her to come down here."
I rolled on out
I came back the next night and asked to be moved again
We can move you . . . but not for three days
I then get the burrito craving
Qdoba happens to be open right next to the truck stop
You're gonna have to re-wrap that burrito
Why?
Beans were falling out of it
He looks at me, "Sir you need to understand . . . if you bit into this it will explode in your face."
This can't be fucking happening
I am going to eat it here and cut it in half
His eyes twinkle . . . are you sure that you don't want us to cut it . . . I have a really big knife
His concern for my burrito did not go unnoticed
Colorado out to get me . . . three months ago
Stop Mr. B you can't tell this story we've gone too long
We'll be in Seattle on Thursday!!!
If you can make a live show we'll be doing it
If more than 6 people want to come we need to get a place to do it
I have one fan . . .Mexico Mike, total troll
Selling mescaline by the highway
I'll be in on the 8th at 10 am
We'll be there for our 11th anniversary
Why spend alone we want you
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Qdoba burrito hotel by the highway Longmont CO exploding burrito Volvo of Lisle

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:27:44 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-03.mp3
Show: #393
Length: 32:41
Size: 22.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Kris is losing his voice
The most emotional day of Jeanie's life ensues
Jeanie wakes up hammered
Betsy woke up and rubbed her feet all over Jeanie
It is the curse of Betsy
Betsy hates feet, can't stand feet
Wants nothing to do with feet
However, she can't keep her feet off of you
She has to put them on you
And these aren't regular feet
They are a women's size 12
A man's size 11 1/2
And they are like meat hooks
Dry, jerky meat hooks
And they are rough and jagged with a sixth toe on each foot
Like the Chinese guy in the Guinness Book
It must be a female thing
Evan yells at me when I do it to him
Why do you gotta put your toes on me?
Get on your own side dude!
Sorry, Mrs. Smith greatest day ever isn't gonna cap out
While I'm dying of alcohol and nicotine poisoning
I wake up and the toilet is full of Kobe of bananas foster
I didn't puke on the floor . . . it is from when I got out of the shower to puke
Jeanie, "This is gross"
We have to get up, today is the second greatest day of my life
The day that I get to go and shoot stuff
I'll have the fruit plate
It comes back as fruit art
We tell the waiter, but it is obvious that Betsy is hungover
The waiter comes back with cappuccino for the ladies
Jeanie gets amped
Somebody give that woman a firearm
Betsy now feels the same way that I did when we were on the ATVs
Even Linda Hogan has to put chin to cleavage and push on
No pressure, step up to the plate
We walk in to Valhalla
Turns out that John is going to help us
There are like 10 bronze Remington statues
Gigantic NRA flags on the wall
Celebrity photos on the wall
John, ex-Navy Seal, comes over and talks to us
I have never listened so hard in my life
"Oh shit, we are really going to do this"
This will be in live combat simulation mode
The bullets will explode
"We do not point the gun at anyone. Including me," John
This is when Jeanie begins to panic
We have to sign a waiver with or social security number
If you had been in the presence of an ex-Navy seal
John comes over and lays down 9mm pistols in front of us
Jeanie looses her color, "I'm trapped in this steal room with pulverizing bullets"
More instructions on how to hold the gun
He helps Jeanie out arm over arm
We are not going to be Olympic competitors if rifle
Ready position
Jeanie pulled . . . and she melted
The Navy Seal saw it coming
He grabs her. Jeanie, "Bull shiiiit!"
All of the sudden there are stars in the sky
She is still standing right next me
I can't quit shaking
Do you need some water?
He grabs lapel, "We have a freaker"
He knew you were going to hit the road
Lodged, malfunction, strike the magazine
Bang, bang, b-bang
Shells are falling all around Betsy's Crocs
Betsy turns around with the gun and Jeanie hits the deck
That is just the beginning
Betsy, "It's OK to go Jeanie"
Trying to be encouraging while crying
Jeanie is the world's best friend
John2 at the front desk watches the uncontrollable shaky Jeanie
Do you want some oxygen?
Finally they send a car
Meanwhile back at Valhalla . . .
OK you shot'em in the head . . . but it doesn't mean they can't still kick your ass
You keep shooting till they don't move
The look on your face is the look in that picture!
John has made a very large impact on your life
I am going to take you to a live scenario room
If this were a long term course we would work on your startle reflex
Betsy is awesome with a pistol
They take Betsy into a biker bar with a terrorist
I know it went down but you've got to keep shooting them
So Betsy clears the room . . . "Clear and cold"
Fear of firearms
John, "We have one more room for you"
He walks Betsy into a biker bar scenario room
Your face baby, oh my god
So in the corner of the bar is a robber
All you can see is his head and arm because it was around a hostage
I turned and dropped him with one shot between the eyes
It was the best feeling that I ever had
So Kris this is what I am thinking . . . a well armed wife is a happy wife
"You cannot beat and armed woman"
They sold purses designed for your concealed weapon
I am putting it out there for birthday
Henry just erased everything off his board and wrote, "I win."
You might be the first person to be turned away at the Unitarian church
I was going to tell Elliot, "Mommy took down a terrorist today"
So now it is time to leave
Cold maze is a good maze
I think something that contributed to my discomfort was not breast feeding for 3 days
To the right of me is a breast pump going full speed
Betsy finished up . . . and says I got to get rid of this stuff
It's like the trucker's pee bombs
Yeah, except this is 90 proof
She looks out window and says, "Are you ready?"
Jeanie, "Why is it going to be beautiful? Is it going to turn into fairy dust"
Is this going to be amazing?
I gotta do this cool because there is a wind going
Betsy throws it out . . . and it comes right back at her
The inside of the Volvo is now covered with breast milk
We stop at the Continental Divide
You remember how I feel about high mountain roads
Betsy, keep talking to me, keep talking
Those nets are to catch landslides
You could have explained pump and dump
All of the sudden we see cable cars
"The highest point on highway 50"
It is gorgeous
I was not feeling well
Jeanie is shaking, exhausted and needs a pick me up
Betsy, what kind of fudge do you want
"What dude," Betsy says Colorado slow
I think that I am freaking out
Now we have to drive down the mountain
Fudge won't help anything
We made it down it ok
But we were following an RV
Can you use those for cars?
No you have to hit the mountain
The RV's brakes were on fire
It took us six hours to get home
That's it, installment 4 of Betsy and Jeanie's trip to Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club

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Tags: Remington Valhalla Shooting Club Linda Hogan Continental Divide shop Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 29, 2007

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 07:14:36 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-29.mp3

Show: #332
Length: 39:16
Size: 26.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 29, 2007

He is a golden . . . retriever . . . he brings stuff back
Zeus cannot be tricked
The noise distracts me
Genius like this takes concentration
We missed Friday's show
Kris felt depressed for a bit
It was his fault
It was a good nerd outing (spot a Kris) that was a success I talked to someone new
TECH cocktail is evolving
"My mother is in cancer treatment," attendee. Kris, podcast laugh follows
She was 4'11 and dressed like a flapper
Is she trying to start a scene
"Flappers" the movie to come
Betsy is going to continue to yawn through this
Baby, the time is right to talk about this
Once of these days I am just going to put a meat grinder on the desk
Betsy just push push push
Man, it is hard to talk about this . . . for Betsy now
I'm just gonna do it
Here's the back story
"You're going to be publicly humiliated"
1994 back in our dorm room, underage drinking and all the sudden . . .

To get the rest of this story you're gonna have to listen.

This story starts at 6:10.

Tags: Golden Retriever Volvo of Lisle Jeanie Bowen Goodwill Husband Zeus podcast laugh

Skype phone

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 09:26:54 -0600

It has come to my attention after five hours of research and visiting retail stores (which would make my search about 8 hours) that the internet and retailers are slacking. The internet is resting on it's global ass scattering reviews to the winds and retailers seem to be basking in the orange glow of Vonage. That is except Fry's (my favorite place to nerd out) which seems to be basking in plastic rubbermaid bins full of returned open boxed VoIP handsets and Taiwanese trinket USB phones.

That brings me to the point of even writing this, imparting a bit of what I have learned so that the internet will seem less slovenly when you search for Skype phones.

There are a two varieties of Skype phones:

1) Computer needed to make calls
2) Computer not needed to make calls (which I would prefer)

And the rest shakes out from their like this:

Computer needed to make calls
1) USB
2) USB to wireless handset
3) USB dual mode (dual mode is code for connects to your regular phone line too)

Computer not needed to make calls
1) WiFi handsets
2) Ethernet (connects to your router via cable)
3) Dual mode with ethernet (think Cisco iPhone)

The best place to start your search for a Skype phone is Amazon. They have a pretty comprehensive selection and with user reviews from nerds and those less tech savvy who have used the gear.

After that hit Google and search for the phones you're interested in and pay attention to blog posts since most are personal reviews of the phone This phase of the research is where I was able to begin to narrow my choices based on my desire to not have to use my computer to make a call.

Right now I am interested in:
Netgear SPH101 - WiFi and has speakerphone capability
Belkin WiFi - WiFi
Polycom C100S USB
Philips VoIP841 (not for sale yet)

Once I make up my mind I'll do a review.

Tags: Philips VoIP841 Netgear SPH101 Polycom C100S USB VoIP handset

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 22, 2006

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 07:39:08 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-22.mp3

Show: #305
Length: 34:45
Size: 23.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 22, 2006

We were hitting on all cylinders for this show.

I blow the date . . . today is the 22nd
The foreigner (I say in jest) spamming our contact form
I blow this too on the show and say "comment" I meant contact
Contact spam is out of control
Opt-in spamming
Kris can't stand up to his mom with boundaries
Thanks for the donations!
Button will up today
Ugly puggles
Betsy moves eBay pile under the desk
The Grimace couch has arrived
Betsy's newest resale friend
No new show Friday . . . expect a vacation show for sentimental value

Tags: Grimace couch puggle doggie day care contact spam foreigner

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 30, 2006

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 06:44:01 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-30.mp3

Show: #269
Length: 31:19
Size: 21.5 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 30, 2006

Betsy still working the intro
As parents we got our asses kicked
Not feeling the welcome
Powerpoint needs to die when used by educators
I don't want to look at dancing lunch meat
Granola is off limits with chocolate
There was a weird vibe between Elliot's teacher and Betsy
Elliot is in back of room which looks like front of room
He'll be carving his name in the desk soon
There's nothing you can say but good stuff when 30 parents are all listening
Eye contact has dipped to zero and she sized up Booba
Elliot will suffer know because of it
The tall child in front that everyone listens too
He is struggling in all first grade things
Camp to this has to be a hard transistion for him
Working at home with Elliot is even on routine it fails
Google how to put out the fire
Slowsky didn't get an oil change before our vacation
It stopped leaking oil . . . there was no more to leak
Betsy is back at Goodwill
Betsy is garbage picking from neighbors again
She is assured that the neighbors hate her, more on Friday 300 by 300th

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: Goodwill Barbie and Skipper vintage 1st grade Elliot

Vacation: Act #2 Omaha to Denver

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:12:25 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-14.mp3

Show: #236
Length: 1:02:26
Size: 42.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 14, 2006

Act #2 is twice the length of our normal shows, but just like our trip we keep pushing through to make the Friday deadline for a full Act #3. That way we won't ever have to talk about this trip again.

So buckle up compadres as we take you on day 2,3 and the close of day 4 as we go from Omaha to Kearney, NE (we love Kearney, Midway Dodge and Thomas Hardage) to Denver.

So where were we?
Oh yeah Omaha
Go back to Monday, Act #1 if you haven't listened yet
We don't have time to reflect up it
Awake after 5 hours of deep sleep . . . yeah right
Epiphany for Kris, he figures out what the problem is with Slowsky
It appears that the gas peddle can't reach the floor or is being stopped
Handling dirty carpet
Slowsky is accelerating awesome
Up I-680 no problem up a hill
Air conditioning still blowing out the defrost vent
We hit fourth gear and Slowsky bogs down
You looked like someone had hit you in the crotch really hard
Did we stop or turn around in Omaha?Nope
I was gonna pull the oxen through and over the Rockies
Common sense would have turned us around
Betsy asks the cashier at a truck stop about our issues cause they should know
Our game plan becomes eat only at McDonald's and get to Denver
Stopping for gas over and over and over
Rolling at 60 pushing Slowsky to the breaking point
Betsy says cars are loaded weapons
I drove slowsky like a retired polo pony
Once AAA was taken care of it was on, drive it like I stole it
My foot is to the floor burning up the car
Slowsky's cry for help . . . check engine light flashes and then dims
Nebraska is the windiest state

Drafting with semi trucks because I can't go over 65
Speed limit is 75 which means 85 for all
People in Nebraska know there is nothing worth driving slow for
I still have no respect for the slow driver
The oil pressure gauge was nearly in the red
The van may explode at anytime
All the fun of a road trip and fantasies about stopping and eating the natives food, gone
No tourist traps for Slowsky
35 miles to the next exit
The arch over I-80 is where the Check Engine Light stays on

Hilly Iowa, not the hilly Nebraska
Calming the kids to soothe the hunching Kris
We get lucky and find Kearney, NE
Even luckier we find Midway Dodge of Kearney

Right next door was Enterprise
We meet Thomas Hardage, the only person not to let us down on this trip
It's 11:30 am and they close and 12:00 pm
He was a Slowsky prophet
he let us know that he 5 hour drive would take us 8 to 9 hours to Denver
There's Enterprise, we should leave car for repair
Kris says, "no" we're going to Denver and Betsy agrees
Help was put in our path and we tell it to fuck off
There was no charge to look at our car
You should not drive off into the great beyond in your broke ass van
"In Denver it will be really expensive", we pass again
Back on the road, 55 mph tops
Kris tries to make it go 56 entire way to Denver
We followed the same truck for about 300 miles

I-76 West down to Denver off of I-80

We are gaining control
We can see mountains
Now we are back to the itinerary, Yes!
Two straight days in a van
I will tell you when you can go to the bathroom
Telling Betsy over and over that we should have flown and what we would have been doing
From now on we fly, first class if we can afford it, 2-3 days at destination, rental car waiting and fly out on day 3
Coming in on the wrong side of Denver
Car collecting seems to be a hobby in Colorado
Hotel has Denver in name but it surely isn't in Denver
Slowsky is now down to 50 mph tops
But we've made it to Denver now
We're still in control . . . sort of
Slowsky was making death nells
Right near our hotel exit there is a Dodge dealer, John Elway Dodge on Arapahoe
The ultimate welcome to Denver . . . an arrest in our hotel parking lot

Navy wife-beater doesn't go with blond chest hair
Doesn't matter how nice a hotel is an arrest in parking lot harshes the mellow
We hit the hotel, 6th floor
18 giggling 12 year old girls right next to our room
Awesome birrthday for her
They were playnig door slamming game, Kris says no
Elliot loses his mind when we return to front desk to get another room
It is time to eat
I was bleeding money our of my eyeballs, really, dollar bills
Should have tossed one of the party girls over the balcony
Big wedding reception at the hotel, but no one was staying there, not one
The restaurant is out of highchairs, all in use for reception
It was time to start crying
We couldn't catch a break
One lone patron was going to hear our woes
What restaurants are near here?
We make it to Outback
Nothing goes wrong so Kris hugs the waitress
Elliot gorges himself, turns grey and runs to bathroom to puke
He has same gene that Betsy and I have where we eat to comfort ourselves
Where's that cereal? Do we have milk?
Needs to feel good in my belly
How sad is our happiness an Outback? We could have done this at home!!!!!!!
Research will take up whole half a work day
Talk begins about putting the family on a plane
Betsy understands her father's actions now from when he did it when she was a kid
It was time to stop the madness
We arrange for a rental car from Enterprise
Only place to do so is at Denver International Airport on Sunday
Shuttle is $20 but you need an appointment, what?
Concierge calls taxi for me and off I go
Denver knows nothing of urban sprawl
There could be free range beef within city limits
I tell cabbie DIA
The airport was 29 miles from our hotel
Ride to Ohare will take $28 bones of my money in a cab
Cabbie asks for $65 dollars for the ride!!! WTF

More notes and photos later. To get the rest of this you'll have to listen to the show for now. It is really hard to keep reliving this.

But I can't leave out the Act #2 cliff hanger . . . John Elway Dodge doesn't call us, we call them to hear, "Mam, the service manager didn't call you? Well, there's a problem with your vehicle. You see, one of our lot attendants . . . "

Coming up on Friday . . . Vacation: Act #3 Denver to Naperville

Update: These photos are from our 3 hours in Colorado Springs at Garden of the Gods and someplace in the downtown area. Family photo credited to guy I thought was homeless but turned out to be one of the dudes who just hang out to watch people go by.

Tags: Kearney Denver John Elway Dodge Arapahoe Slowsky Midway Dodge thetrip