door | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

a door thompson street apartment

Tue, 17 May 2011 20:41:09 -0500

Tags: apartment street thompson door

doormen watching

Tue, 17 May 2011 06:14:58 -0500

Tags: watching doormen

outdoor atm

Tue, 17 May 2011 06:08:20 -0500

Tags: atm outdoor

door 0 7

Sat, 07 May 2011 07:17:29 -0500

Tags: door

doorman or dealer

Sun, 24 Apr 2011 15:20:27 -0500

Tags: dealer doorman

With Kids, Out the Door, Bringer

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 11:57:08 -0500

Episode: #723 | Length:32:48 | Format: mp3

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Sal DeDant
Bringer
Out the door
With kids

Tags: croncast best of 2010 funniest podcast longest episode

red door knob

Sun, 27 Mar 2011 16:41:28 -0500

Tags: knob door red

Bear Dog, Doorman Gossip, SoHo Uniform

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 09:06:47 -0500

Episode: #715 | Length:33:18 | Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

The thing on the block
Doormen are the true housewives of new york
Dreaming of found things in the East River
SoHo man uniform . . .
Dress like a fat farmer?
Cuffed as well
Throwback Banana Republic shirt
It's not about keeping it real
Chinatown outfit?
Hip Hop apparel from three years ago
Anything you want to wear . . . as long as it's black

Tags: newfoundland lots water cuffed skinny jeans soho uniform

The IDF, Tats and Tears, East River Paddle Surf

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 16:05:30 -0500

Episode: #664
Length: 31:45
Format: mp3

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Friday the 13th
No I won't get out of bed
Talk soft it won't know we're here
Call from the IDF
The International Doorman Federation
Tats and tears
Only Ivy League white people
Who paddle surfs on the East River?

Tags: friday 13 that friday the idf international doorman federation east river paddle surfing

Uptown Hooking, Needle Exchange, Doorman Conspiracy

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 17:56:56 -0500

Episode: #659
Length: 34:34
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

How you doing?
Not a good cop question
Auxiliary police
No more smoke breaks for you
Date night
Was a bad idea to tell her that
The needle exchange
No Black Keys for you

Tags: hooking smoke break auxilliary police needle exchange

Grimey Hot, Genetically Modified, Sandbox Sweet Corn

Mon, 03 May 2010 22:58:23 -0500

Episode: #622
Length: 27:47
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Hawt in the city
Gotta keep your shirt on
Grimey in the NYC
Holding your breath outdoors
Replace all 's' with 'z'
Detasseling . . . Betsy never did it
Like a mummy in flannel
Setting you and America straight
Machine? What?
Nubile fingers of 11 year olds
I'd go back in that time machine
Growing sweet corn in my old sandbox
Taking it down with a chainsaw
What you know and don't
Wanted to win my mom a car
Address I would get stumped
The play shanty
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: grimey hot sweet corn detasseling chainsaw sandbox

Season 24 Episode 22: The Croncast Shorty

Mon, 03 May 2010 22:55:14 -0500

Episode: #622 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:58
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: grimey hot sweet corn detasseling chainsaw sandbox

The San Antonio, Doddering Bus Surfers, UES

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:14:17 -0500

Episode: #614
Length: 31:21
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Those embarrassing moments
Like smelling yourself
Baby, you looked like a pigeon
The beauty of marriage
Not really, honey
Just behave normally
That's how I will pick up the next one
The Freudian slips begin
Who is the hot lady standing at my door?
Oh, that is my wife
Whew!
I can hit on her full force
Beauty to bloodhound or Bloodhound to beauty
Betsy telling the Wheel of Fortune story grows
It has a life of its own
How I won my to Upper East Side
Sounds way better than paid off my credit cards, wah wah
No affairs with shirtless men
Nothing
Making the sacrifice
The relationship that you have with the city
And scene
Here come his stand ins
Ready to make cat calls
I did not get to go to circus school
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: ASPCA cat doddering bus surfer upper east side san antonio

Bloodhound to Beauty, Circus School, Freudian Slip

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:18:18 -0500

Episode: #613
Length: 25:12
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Tags: circus school freudian slip NYC bloodhound to beauty

Season 24 Ep 13: The Shorty Croncast

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:04:20 -0500

Episode: #613 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:03
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: smell yourself freudian slip NYC bloodhound to beauty

Green Pants, Entering the Scene, Chicagowaukee accent

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:40:15 -0600

Show: #542
Length: 30:33
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

I walk out on the stoop every morning to pick up the Times
I have on my robe, bunny slippers
You wish you could afford the Times
That's true
Or had a stoop of my own
Trampled by clicking heels heading out of the building
What I like about New York is you can count on people
You can trust them
However, you can't trust the New Yorkers that wear green pants
They will slam doors on you
Push you off the curb in front of a bus
The have an alliance with leprechauns
It's true
Trying to transcribe your kids homework from accented folks
We couldn't understand each other
You're accented now too, baby
You've toured the midwest
They can't understand you
Your Chicagowaukee accent
It's all about dominance in NY
Passive dominance is the flavor of the relationship
It's like entering an improv scene
Costco in the city experience
99/100 emails are for you
We did get noticed on the street
We handled it horribly
The kids were like what?
Really you know who I am?
The walking class is stuck during the NYC marathon
Only people left were us and the runners

Tags: Chicagowaukee leprechaun bunny slippers NYC marathon

the hottest woman i know | @reslaequeen | good gawd, baby.

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 21:10:41 -0600

every time that betsy decides to go out with friends she has me take her photo.

probably, because it isn't that often that she gets to let her hair down and be an adult.

she does a saint's work with us. elliot, maggie and myself owe so much to her unsung work holding this family together.

i love her with all my heart and cherish the time that we have together. or maybe i constantly take it for granted and should be appreciative more often than when i am looking at your photo when you're not here?

baby, i love you.

i'm going to wait up for you and give you a big hug when you walk through the door. i might even cry because i am happy.

you are the best thing that ever came into my life and stuck around.

Tags: work photo often together baby

Doorman Wars, Overheard, New York Days

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 16:23:19 -0600

Show: #540
Length: 28:25
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Getting it on
Dude, that was so smarmy
You should talk like that job interviews
That way you would get every job
How are you homeless and buying brand new stuff?
I got a family and Cobra
IT skills true
Contracts and Cobra are for me
Cement truck guy got my dog and benies
Garbage picking in NYC
That couch you're sitting on was free
The doorman battles
What sort of breed are these guys?
They sweep you with your eyes
They're unionized
Snagging late night coupons when the bodega closes
You don't give that away for free!
Her mom told her that
The boyfriend was not into it
Oh, you don't have a . . .
I overpaid now
You were pretty for a guy

Tags: NYC Doormen test cement trunk bodega lottery tickets

do not lean on door - nyc subway

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:10:44 -0600

Tags: subway nyc door lean

Season 22 Ep 07: Betsy's Clairvoyant, You're Grounded, Gameshow Desires

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:20:41 -0500

Croncast - 2009-06-16.mp3
Show: #533
Length: 25:51
Size: 23.8 mb
Format: mp3

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What you don't have is the funny
I'm bringing it to over 40 people Thursday nights
All in the old Seinfeld time slot
What are you up against?
Oh, yeah . . . ER reruns
They used to stay home for Greys Anatomy
Not so hot early on
Doing the shows for your cousins
12 people versus 50 and percentage laughing
Well, I can see you telling a joke in a restroom
All about pumping your ego up
Two fangirls waiting for me
Thinking they can't find the bathroom
"Oh, my god. You were so funny."
Bitsy's door star - they can't speel
The bicycle issue
There is no issue . . . I am the BMX'n boy
Kris, I couldn't ride a bike until I was 10
That is the plan the man is on
He got my physical genes
My neighbors got rich of off my physical ineptitude
I learned to ride in the grass
Of course you did softy
I saw a malleable four year old girl in front of me
She wanted to go fast
Daddy, go get the tool box
She takes the wrench from me
Takes the training wheels herself
Took 2 minutes to get her going
Then 20 to get her starting off on her own
Loving it for the freedom
Number one for her was freedom
The second is that Elliot can't ride a bike
She pointed it out, Not me
A stranger isn't going the pick the nutty kid
The other was her fear of punishment
She tried to give up
I motivated her
She got so upset that she just did it
All kids are different and need different motivational techniques
Just a wee bit of manipulation
One teaspoon of manipulation and one of sweat
You gotta throw in some love
You know that I am clairvoyant Mr B
Baby, you can't tell people that
That is just too much
Walking to school in a Marlboro Jacket
They had a denim one that I wanted
You could deduce that knowing my history
Betsy is ready to restart her career as a game show contestant
When you hit the track you become a robot
I'll be back later, I got ponies to read up on

Tags: Seinfeld bmx game show ponies fangirl

Season 22 Ep 02: Gothar, Alaskan Nomads, Ham Ketchup Sandwich

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 11:26:05 -0500

Croncast - 2009-04-17.mp3
Show: #527
Length: 24:15
Size: 22.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Bringing it on the Friday!
That's a post, this is a post I know that I am fabulous
Helps promote the show
Give these people a chance
Then the audience swells
My kids can't sleep
More popular than Wired magazine daddy's
I can make a super sandwich
For your daughter
The ham and ketchup sandwich
Fulfilling her need "Scooby Doo Style"
That's on you
Appaloosa is where I am going
Let's count down your shiny chasing skills
Glad you can admit them
You are my little raccoon
Betsy is going to be on the Radio Shopping Show
Gotta give the back story
Rubeeen had been there to show us
Pet a lizard Sure he'll bring the salmonella to your front door
This is my favorite lizard, Gothar
Sure, he's gotta pack the lizards
It's totally worth two hundred bucks
The party phenomenon
Turn it all into a party
What kind of burner are you?
Pipeline or bust
They were on the bust side
We have a token listener in Alaska
Don't even try
Nomad in some populations, transient in our community
I was just that good

Tags: lizard food gothar alaska wired ham sandwich

Season 20 Ep 25: The Audition, What's Next, Life in the Can

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:03:55 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-18.mp3
Show: #500
Length: 29:13
Size: 20.1mb
Format: mp3

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Last time I have to listen to this!
You know you like my voice, Baby
I am surprised you are not crying
It's like a Hallmark Holiday
I just wanted to make sure we hit 500 shows
Back in the day with the old gear
Doesn't it seem like you are creating more work?
Not really
Transitioning into something new
The new show is "Life in the Can"
You can get the new shows at www.lifeinthecan.com
Three days a week still and a weekly best of the three shows
The first show will be released Thursday June 27th, 2008
We're excited about the new show
It would be rad if you and I could work together
Getting paid to do the shows would be great
I went to Jeanie's house last night
Cracking open the hand carved lesbian door
No crumpled up High Life cans
The Eden like backdrop
Deer walked right up
She had deer prints on her roof
Training ground Santa's deer
Getting them presents for the house
Populating her yard with beasts
Show up and build an Arc too
Betsy "Noah" Smith
I get wait to Zeus out there
You had a part of your E Hollywood True Story
The Improv dinner theater audition
I purposely didn't tell you this, Kris
What?
Where the auditions were being held
Ok
Where was it?
At Culver's
Oh, Baby
Did you get a milkshake afterward?
Your first audition was at a fast food restaurant
It proves you want it
It's embarrassing but it does prove you want it
I'm proud of you
Most people wouldn't have gone
What's more uncomfortable than going to open mic night?
Listening to open mic night stories
We have no context for this
How did it make you feel?
Maybe she is a biker
Going out on a high note
Thanks to everyone for throwing in their support for the show
In the effort to Keep the Archive Alive
That would be funny
No it's not
Thanks for listening to everyone
Whether it has been 500 or 12 shows, thank you
We've had a great time doing the show
The new show is, Life in the Can - www.lifeinthecan.com
You just can't end it Mr B! Can you!
Keeping you happy three days a week with a bonus
Thank you for letting us entertain you.

Tags: iPhone Life in the Can LitC High Life Hallmark Holliday

Season 20 Ep 24: Cousin Kris, Painters Cap, Nothing Is Level

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 15:28:11 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-16.mp3
Show: #499
Length: 22:52
Size: 15.7mb
Format: mp3

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Keep the Archive Alive goes on
$25 of support gets you 2 DVD's with the full archive mailed to your door
Drop that Archive Support at the site in any one of the banners
It is all about the Interwaves
The photo montage of the father's day trip are up
Look in the blog for the story
Soften up the crow's feet
Geez, that bag, what is she 33?
I don't know if Rock of Love is comparative to competitive improv dinner theater
The afternoon jamboree
Much like licking a toilet
"Cousin Kris!"
The first Casey's we stop at
Hey, I know you
No, I didn't know her name instantly
Hoping for it fire into my brain
Turns out to be cousin X
She's of the normal branch
But the odds of that
Not that great
Running into someone buying smokes
I just don't want to get there
I know, Betsy, you were driving 45 in a 75
Never thought we would make it
Creeping ever closer that sucking vortex where you grew up
It is an area of decay
Dilapidated nothingness
If you were a pizza deliver guy you would deliver to houses with siding
The rest are wrapped in Tyvek
It looks like depression
We tried the town route
Elliot is asking why it is abandoned
Yelling why doesn't it look like home
Two taglines
"For Rent"
"Rent to Own"
You wouldn't let me take the best photo
It was the award winning shot
It was beautiful
The transient neighbor
In a wife beater, smoking a cigarrete, talking on his phone in a NASCAR painters cap
And . . . And . . . his white wolf dog on the steps
Nothing is level there
I fell down 77 times
Growing oriental poppies
Couldn't believe it
Save me from this
And you walked away
Everyone walked away to leave me there
The scary compound
The old ass car wasn't as bad
Always had the perspective that there was someplace else I needed to be

Tags: white wolf chevrolet graveyard interwaves abandoned small town

behind the register

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:50:51 -0500

they kept loading it up after the doors closed and not another child would walk the floors.

Tags: child walk floors closed doors

Season 20 Ep 8: Husband in the Bubble, Carbon Dioxide Vampires, Nock

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:14:07 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-21.mp3
Show: #483
Length: 38:15
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

One day to Earth Day
Elliot has been telling me about the poor suffering pandas for ten days
He was telling me the acid rain was burning the pandas
Which was causing them not to have babies
He asked me if I knew what trees were
He's so much like his mom
He says, "Trees are carbon dioxide vampires"
I told him that would be a great band name
He didn't get it
Two worlds collided
You bought this badminton set at Goodwill
At a garage sale
Well, it came from out of the house
Husband in a bubble
Whatever you had taught him was wrong
Proper badminton form
Let me show you
What? What you learned at La Moille badminton school?
I can't believe you tried to describe this
What the hell are you talking about?
Your boy cannot do overheard
Oh, baby
I won't even listen to you and your un-athletic skills
It's good he's not you, Kris
He just doesn't get it as I am trying to help him
You're a like a lion in the grass
Look at that birdie fly
He can't hit it back and forth
I wanted to work with him
And you wonder why he doesn't want to play with you
You are a weird nerd jock hybrid
You're a NOCK
He'll have flash backs
Badminton is where business gets done
Watching his badminton future crumbles before my eyes
Don't send the hate mail
I get it
I need to engage with him on another level
He's going through a growth spurt
He's 7 asking if the weather is changing
Sensitive to barometric pressure
Taking the kids to lunch
Ted's Montana Grill
Ted's Buffalo Hut
There is nothing more environmentally friendly than buffalo farming
What are you saying? Twice as much methane
Maggie is all about it
Elliot looks at Ted's Bison Hut
Looks left and says, I just want Subway
"I won't get a bag of chips with my burger"
Wanted to do something a bit special
He says, "Dad, I don't like fancy. I like Goodwill and Subway."
Half the time he is working on bits
What's 10 minus 8?
I think you owe me $2, Mom
I get to the foreclosure/divorce house
Ring the door bell
The laundry basket was longaberger
It was like you designed the house
There was a beautiful chandelier in his bathroom
He wanted $1,800 for it
Then he says, "I paid $23,000 for it."
They make excellent copies of this at Menards
Then, Mr B, there it was
I became the sucker
Do you like the table?
It happens
How much do you want for the table?
Well . . .
I paid $12,000 for it
This is a garage sale
The table turned to fire when he told $2,300
Can you grab me something out of that crystal wine in the box holder
It was so McMansion
It was like he was trying to get on Cribs and it didn't work out
Same outfit as yesterday
Because he is single now

Tags: Longaberger suffering pandas acid rain Ted's Montana Grill McMansion