dumpster diving | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 20 Ep 15: Dumpster Golf, Penny Drop, Fancy Hood

Mon, 12 May 2008 13:54:32 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-12.mp3
Show: #490
Length: 19.6
Size: 28:32 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy likes the amens to her sermons
Now they can tell me to mow my lawn
We are way more boring than the show
The picture in her head of you was repulsive
Good thing she didn't see a real picture
I despise this time of year the most
Why?
The grass grows
I hate the mowing
Pulling back that shade for bits of sunlights
I am the Boo Radley of the neighborhood
I have been honing my skills without you
Something new to the Resale Queen toolbox
Not the Billy Squire stroke
A body bag full of bubble wrap
A body bag?
I tried to do a Penny Drop
That was for those of you that too kindergarten gymnastics
Tetanus shot for junking license
I had to have the bubble wrap
So I went to Goodwill
Fast like a bunny
I bought a Titleist
Golf club
We playing gold today mommy?
Yes, Maggie, dumpster golf
Your Titleist for dumpster diving
Your like a gorilla in the mist
Your people were the strain that hung on the jungle floor
Mine were smarter and more motivated
Now, I bring home the bananas
It's all about who brings home the bacon
I am forever grateful that you make enough for me to dig in a dumpster
We found your wife, sir.
Behind what store?
It could be worse, I could be a scrap booker
It is a services
I'm not going to mess with these women
They are serious
Treating things better
Betsy flattens a tire on my car
I'm driving slow on your rim
You were right next to the car dealership
Why didn't you just go there?
You used to recruit truck drivers, you talk to him
Sorry to be so vaginal
I just gave up
Why is he trying to change the tire?
Does he know how to change a tire?
Yeah, that's a lot of money for a fancy hood
They say that to a lot of women who get labia surgery too

Tags: Titleist gold club the bacon penny drop gymnastics

Resale Queen Podcast Episode 3

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 09:42:21 -0600

Resale Queen - 2008-02-02.mp3
Show: #003
Length: 23:17
Size: 16.0mb
Format: mp3

This Week's Show: Dumpster Diving Checklilst.

Suburban dumpster diving
Location, location, location
Know the front end - don't want any surprises
Get to know routine
Scout for employees/cops/palette pickers
Leave a car running and ready with door open
Get your stuff and go
Get greedy get hurt
Picking from neighborhoods
Never look the home owner in the eye
How does it change for urban and rural environments?
You have to knock on the dumspter first to get out racoons and feral cats

Next week: Next week we talk eBay Feedback and Fees.

Links: Dawn Shumate sent these great dumpster diving resources. Thanks Dawn!!

http://dir.groups.yahoo.com/dir/Hobbies___Crafts/Hobbies/Dumpster_Diving
http://dir.groups.yahoo.com/dir/Hobbies___Crafts/Hobbies/Secondhand_Shopping

There is a specific dumpster diving group whose goal is to make a map of dumpsters in the Chicago area called garbage liberation.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/garbageliberation/

Most of you will know us from our podcast Croncast (every M-W-F)

Tags: astronaut reslae queen eBay dumpster diving bubble wrap

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 26, 2007

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 22:22:37 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-26.mp3
Show: #425
Length: 29:27
Size: 20.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 26, 2007

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Super short show notes
I need to get to bed
Betsy is Wheel of Fortune crazed
The symptoms of crazy
You get money just for being on the show
It's your first hit of heroin
No you are drawing parallels between me and lab rats
Everyone gets excited about it
No you can't dumpster dive at night in an alley
I can't do it during the day
Well, you need backup
What did you say to me?
Thanks, Kris, for making me do the shows
It's paying off
Improv rocks
Casting calls suck
I have been on the casting side
Very personal
You don't have the balls to be a casting agent?

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Tags: Wheel of Fortune Chicago improv classes dumpster diving industrials

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 19, 2007

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 09:03:17 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-19.mp3
Show: #422
Length: 30:17
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 19, 2007

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Tell a Friend Friday!
Pause the show people and do it right now
Sorry we been away . . . we'll give you some news on Monday
Lots of heavy commenting yesterday
Get your sms thumb ready
What if I don't have sms thumb?
Yes, we will share on Monday
In the meantime I have a rockin' story Mr. B
Ok, well get on with it
I'm tired of this house looking like a warehouse
Can't buy it, Kris will bitch at me
I have to find something small that I can sell
Go to Goodwill, nothing
Go to garage sales, nothing
Have the Russians taken over at Goodwill?
It's on, their pricing is out of control
Regional trends in purse buying
Runs through my mind 6 times a day
I left Goodwill grumpy
I roll out to the garage sales thinking about my plushies
We pass by an overflowing dumpster
I am a dumpster snob so a video game joint doesn't entice me
I have standards
New t-shirt . . . Dumpster Snob
I lifted out a big box . . . full of Xbox and PS2 games
Baby, you stole someone's stash
Vicky says, there's movies too
And turns on the car dome light
Turn off the light dude!
Used, abused games
So I want to explain to you why I smell like another man's perfume
Tonight I had an epiphany
Did you go back to Bar Louie?
The garbages are there before us
Vickie, "It's not against the law"
Betsy, "Shut up and watch for cops"
All these stores throw out product
Vickie, "I know where I want to go"
Betsy, "Where?"
Vickie, "Bath and Body Works"
Baby, you guys are losing it
I think it is dumb to spend more than $1.50 on mascara
Vickie is watching me behind the Alta dumpster
What do they sell . . . perfume
It's dark, so I say to myself, follow the smell
I am lifting stuff out of the garbage and smelling it
Just because it is in the garbage doesn't mean that I want it
You never park next to the dumpster
It needs to be so you can screech away
On the next Croncast, Betsy's get away tips
In the next pull, my brother-in-law's Christmas gift
The cologne
A zip lock full of cologne and he would be like way to go
Vickie, "What the hell is this?"
Betsy, "It's Nautica"

-----------------------------------------------------
This is the funniest story Betsy has ever told!!!!!
I am crying while doing these show notes
-----------------------------------------------------

You have gone beyond Sanford and Son
Much praise to you baby for holding it down so we don't have to walk over your merchandise
This stuff could cost you your freedom if you keep it up
You probably shouldn't be doing this
Don't tell your law enforcement friends about the show today
What's wrong is the fact you picked up a bag of cologne?
What part of your game that said. "This is a good idea"
I gotta bring her back something
The used hair dye was not a winner
It was the best smelling of all the bags
So speaking of crazy stories
I walk out of the airport and lady with lots of red hair is in front of me
She's asking a guy
I realize that it's Kathy Griffin
Segue from you dumpster diving, I met Kathy Griffin
I got nothing compared to you, Bears
She is taller in real life
That can't be said much for the Hollywood set
Betsy, "I would have said, You are a bigger fag hag than me. I fucking love you. Can you please autograph my tit."
Yeah, I wouldn't have said that
She's thinking, who is this fat dude in the camel hair blazer?
It's 85 and he's got a coffee at 7 pm and eating a sandwich
Thanks to Ben for the comment . . . much appreciated!!!
A little math on the Croncast free shows
422 shows
Minimum cost to produce $600 (lowest rate I would charge client for a show like ours)
Total: $253,200
You go and find another chick who will go ass up in a dumpster for entertainment

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Tags: Kathy Griffin dumpster diving cologned in a bag Croncast Dumpster Snob

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 24, 2007

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 10:15:50 -0500

Croncast - 2007-09-24.mp3
Show: #414
Length: 25:13
Size: 17.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 24, 2007

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Leave us a comment at Croncast
Saturday morning writing code and the 800 number starts ringing off the hook
After the call I figure it might be important
Turns out that it was regional manager or gm for Bar Louie
The nerd posse didn't have to go in person they sent email
Yeah, they listened to the show
I would have been stuck making co-payments if you had been there
He listened to the show!
Kudos to Bar Louie and their parent Corp. for stepping up to the plate
John Elway Dodge could learn from these people
Or should I say Go Dodge Denver on Arapahoe
Maybe this means something bigger
It was really good of them to call
Betsy chalked up the guys behavior to culture
Your employees should be a reflection of the place they work
My esteem for Bart Louie is way higher than it used to be
So yeah, it is brand management
They are taking the lead and that is awesome
Being proactive in their case is makes sense
They were going to fire the guy
Was probably the greatest job he ever had
Then he gets drunk and kisses patrons
Karma stepped forward as the enforcer
Couldn't fire the guy . . . he was already fired!
Sweet
They handled right then and there that night
How do you know if bouncers don't always act like that
Bouncers come in two varieties . . . gross and creepy
Naperville puts plain clothes officers in bars
Betsy's sister knows all about them
Buy the bicycle cop calendar
They talk like they walked out of a flame novel
The HR for them must be a single desperate chick
Betsy is glad that Bar Louie handled it
What do you want them to do?
Yes, I am the damaged
I can no longer kiss you
Screaming baby interrupts the show
Betsy moves on the twins and triplets sale
Don't I have the best job ever?
Sure, dumpsters are quaint
I wasn't supposed to be on list
Then I made it in
Planned Parenthood Es Muy Mal Para Aurora
Singletons . . . what the hell is a singleton?
Kris, they are genetically challenged ladies like me that have babies on at a time
Four perms turned at once
You are the one that wrote the blog post
I burned my face with coffee
They all come back to haunt me
We thought it was funny
These women are twitter parenting
Run . . . have you no respect
Are you embarrassed that your mommy tummy is going to slap you in the face?
Run! We are all in the same boat bitches
In today's money
Tell a Friend Friday is going awesome
New stickers should be here today

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Tags: Bar Louie Naperville twins and triplets dumpster diving Planned Parenthood Aurora croncast stickers

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 08:33:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-06.mp3
Show: #383
Length: 32:06
Size: 22.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

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The live show is in two days!
Markx got it right, "baste"
Mr B, I smell a whole line of products for you
Water sun block with a baster?
After four days at water park the chlorine was getting to me
It was Michael Jackson' favorite place . . . lots of kids and you get bleached
Showing off my chicken skin legs
Remember when I told you about the kids . . . the hair metal kids?
Yes, I remember
I was driving by Goodwill and there they were
I won't tell anyone where to go for the boxes
Is that lady out there in the Volvo?
They cut their boxes up now
I noted to myself it was strange to see the kids
Are the kids real or are you making them up from your subconscious?
So the drummer from Ratt is standing there playing lookout
Which I realized after working in the group home and seeing kids act this way
His other Ratt band mates were in the dumpster
I didn't get it
Why not, baby, it was behind a movie theater
They were after posters and stuff
Turns of that they are your kind of people
I was looking at them as little baby thugs
Oh, baby
Kris' cell phone doesn't work in the basement
I need you to look this up on eBay
I can't hear you
What is it?
It's used retard! Gently carried, slightly touched
Then you tell me to put it back
That's four times my investment
I did find, however, a new threat to my Goodwill goodies
What does Kris have for show prep?
I got out int he world and went to see accountant
We had some tax debt and it turns out we have even more tax debt
I hope the accountant did that
What! What Mr. B
Booba, you gotta listen to me
The feds, uncle sam, is a greedy bitch and wants his money now
Accountant says, you're not in trouble
Yes, I am . . . with my wife
I need to explain to you why I am thinking of cashing out my retirement to pay taxes
You don't understand, my life could be in danger
Betsy is going to Valhalla and learning to use heavy weaponry
Betsy tries to play it off
Somehow she must not have been here during the windfall
I lucked into a windfall
That's ok Mr. B if you want to apologize again
I know you've already blown your top
How did your mom know?
I didn't tell her
Nobody can make me feel any worse
I was watering the lawn experiment and realized I could have paid for the kids to go to college
I spent all that money, I didn't have a plan, I thought the money would keep coming
It's slowing down, it's slowing down . . . can we maintain
You're mom said, "Why do you feel guilty?"
Let him feel guilty
I am getting exhausted by life lessons
Breaking the dumpster diving rules
The unitarian karma is in effect with you and those kids
I am having an "eh" week
Elliot's behavior has been tough
Sorry to be a downer but, damn
We gotta be there to back one another up
Big deal, appliance deliveries today
Live show Sunday night . . . ready for you on Monday!

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Tags: Valhalla Michael Jackson Goodwill movie posters tax accountant

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 08, 2007

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 07:44:10 -0500

Croncast - 2007-06-08.mp3
Show: #373
Length: 33:33
Size: 23.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 08, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

July 8th, live show, must get 20 peeps in seats by June 15th
That's your big intro?
Well, let me tell my big story Mr. B
I hope it is good after your last scripted one
I could have coached you through that reading
I would be real fan of this
What Kris boobs with ankles?
Fake boobs that look natural
Betsy, "What's the point of that?"
Hey, Kris a Mercedes that looks like a Ford
Maybe fake that look real isn't a good thing
IRS and the accountant give Betsy a ring
I'm trying to function only in the present
Sitting there eating fish sticks with Grandma and the phone rings
It's good, they are trying to take care of us
Now I've got to talk to someone
And your fish sticks are going to get cold
Good thing you were putting kids to bed so you couldn't hear the shit I was talking about you
IRS to Betsy, "This is quite a significant liability you have here."
Betsy, "Yes, yes."
IRS, "Can you tell me how you came upon having such a large liability? Is there something going on in your life?"
Betsy, "My husband is a retard. I told him to save money, mam. Also, I am sure that you can see that flag from before. I can't go out of the country."
IRS, "There goes that trip to Italy."
Betsy, "Doesn't matter, he spent all the money anyway."
The approach they take per month
Where do you cut from your budget to pay the IRS?
How do I figure out what is below Aldi's?
Dumpster diving for orange juice
Then I accidentally hung up on the IRS
Our luck with the IRS hasn't been so good
Are you crazy?
The IRS has really good to us
Don't know on this table, there isn't a drop of wood in it
It is from IKEA
This is the recycled sweat of Indian children
I'd have to write it on the underwear you are currently wearing
What was her dying act . . . she asked for her husbands underpants and a sharpie
The IRS agent calls back
I'm never going to hear the end of this
I'm working on the windfall
The live show wasn't supposed to be a windfall
I'm supposed to get discovered Mr. B
All we I care about is covering the venue
It's about having fun and hanging out with listeners
Betsy breaks down Kris's Tuesday/Wednesday travel day
Much funnier than his interpretation of it
You are sounding like Charlie Brown's teacher
Barb hires a cleaning company
And they show up unannounced for an assessment
The morning after spaghetti night is a mess
Whatever the dogs didn't eat is left over
Mom walks in everyday at 4
I clean the house everyday, she is my mother
It looks like we have 47 foster children and I think little deaf dog has been peeing on carpet
We're bad suburbanites

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Tags: bad suburbanites IRS agent Mercedes that looks like a Ford Aldi's IKEA table

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 05, 2007

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 07:29:31 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-05.mp3

Show: #323
Length: 38:08
Size: 26.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 05, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Gary Shilts.
Well, "Big news on Friday" has turned into "Big News on Monday"
Betsy and a wise friend advised me against it for today, so blame them for ruining the fun
The blue thing staring me down
Turns out it is a dolphin, dolphins aren't blue
It's a kids swing
This color issue is bothering me
Have you ever hear that introduction before
You got it wrong Mr. B.
We would have this argument on some stranger's driveway
People couldn't handle it
Today's big news is that Betsy thinks I need to be her apprentice, nope
Betsy says that I can't tell the big news
You already gave it away Betsy in email
No one knows where we really live
Henry, the nerd posse
You have to give him a plug for his blog
Even though he's from Aurora we let him in
Drying your junk with an air dryer
You would think immediately that this is something would happen in Aurora
Well it wasn't
Thanks for the image Henry!
I know about your Habitat for Humanity
I am going on record, I have never messed the white powder
Unlike the Barack Obama
Betsy does not take this kindly
"They are dumping his stuff out in the public cause of his presidential aspirations"
What you're telling me is that Mr. Kris Smith was a worm farmer?
Who is 40 years old and hasn't tried drugs in their life
It's not he's Republican, every Democrat has done drugs
I don't understand this ideal . . . and Kris misuses the word "vestige" . . . I apologize
Happy rays come out of his eyes
Don't let him take his shift off then his love rays come out
Lifetime movies are TV teledramas purchased for $7.50 from a vault
Stranded on an island with a hot guy and her dork ass husband
We had to watch the movie because the starlet had big boobs, natural
Betsy is hitting the Black Box Wine again
I can see you doing what you do, Betsy, with any product
Dumpster diving does have real value
"I just got good at this," Betsy
Taking out the benches that could smash children
Watching the garbage man do his job
He has to think every week, "It's about time these people got evicted"
Getting teacher crap for the holidays
OK shows over

Tags: Lifetime movies Barack Obama Black Box Wine dumpster diving Gary Shilts

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 27, 2006

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 06:26:08 -0500

Croncast - 2006-10-27.mp3

Show: #290
Length: 49:12
Size: 33.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 27, 2006

Kris points out the Croncast blog
When I made the site it was judging what's most important
The news section is for stuff like Betsy stubbed her toe
We will present for the first time ever a podcast fashion
Betsy models her QVC stuff that arrived a couple days ago
The Quality Value Convenience Fashion show Fall 2006
We have a topic . . . holy shit this is like a real show
Fashion show begins:

One night me and a box of wine ordered a bunch of stuff off there!

Stretch Cordury Animal Print - A snake humped a dairy cow - Flattering or Fattering?

The official pant suit of Wisconsin

What if you wanted to wear it open for another look?

Suitable for dating Dick Cheney orange.

End Fashion Show

Betsy talks about being a victim of car prejudice
Betsy goes dumpster diving in her QVC and her new car
She is a professional dumpster diver for 5 years
When the police roll by
All the looks . . ."she must be moving"
The Volvo just saved me
If I had been driving Slowsky, I would have been in the pokey with the kids
Teaching our children to break the law
Betsy's haunt is behind Old Navy
More moments of the day with Betsy
Getting out of tickets
Tubby the Love Bucket from Goodwill makes a return appearance
Halloween at Goodwill is the big season
Last year's Target outfits
Taking the dog to get fixed
The veterinarian sales pitch to upgrade all the doggy treatments
Social work joint for career day in high school . . . Kris
I don't know if I could work the rest of my life
Making the choice
Kris doesn't drink and sometimes that can be strange
The "You don't drink" look
Kris goes all out until he burns out, my aptitude for addiction
Warning: NOT KID SAFE AT ALL!
What follows is 23 minutes of phone call follow up good luck dear listener

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
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Tags: QVC Volvo V70 Tubby the Love Bucket aptitude for addiction Halloween

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 34

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 12:52:24 -0600

Croncast - 2005-02-10.mp3

Show: #71
Length: 37:31
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 17.2 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 34

My special guest on this show is . . . the ailing Betsy. We talk a little today about one night stands, can you call a intimate love a "lady friend"?, what about "man friend"?

What a world. Kris actually talks about politics on the show today. Betsy and I talked about our liberal tendencies and Kris actually has something good to say about a Republican president.

So with politics aside, or right out in the open, we talk more about pet modification, Kris not remembering what he posted on the blog yesterday, NPR stories, Darfur, Rush and his Oxycontin, dumpster diving for food, the need for plastic surgery, the best description of breasts after they have been used for feeding by Betsy, Kris losing 85 lbs and Betsy lost 135 lbs, podcasting everyday is like cocaine and the shout outs to Dave Miller from The Miller Report, Rinne and James at The Invincibles.org (you have to check out the newest video), and we end with Kris's jacked up teeth . . . again.

Tags: kris betsy croncast actually miller