food | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

foodmart, bitches. where i shop when in kentucky.

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:00:15 -0500

Season 20 Ep 25: The Audition, What's Next, Life in the Can

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:03:55 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-18.mp3
Show: #500
Length: 29:13
Size: 20.1mb
Format: mp3

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Last time I have to listen to this!
You know you like my voice, Baby
I am surprised you are not crying
It's like a Hallmark Holiday
I just wanted to make sure we hit 500 shows
Back in the day with the old gear
Doesn't it seem like you are creating more work?
Not really
Transitioning into something new
The new show is "Life in the Can"
You can get the new shows at www.lifeinthecan.com
Three days a week still and a weekly best of the three shows
The first show will be released Thursday June 27th, 2008
We're excited about the new show
It would be rad if you and I could work together
Getting paid to do the shows would be great
I went to Jeanie's house last night
Cracking open the hand carved lesbian door
No crumpled up High Life cans
The Eden like backdrop
Deer walked right up
She had deer prints on her roof
Training ground Santa's deer
Getting them presents for the house
Populating her yard with beasts
Show up and build an Arc too
Betsy "Noah" Smith
I get wait to Zeus out there
You had a part of your E Hollywood True Story
The Improv dinner theater audition
I purposely didn't tell you this, Kris
What?
Where the auditions were being held
Ok
Where was it?
At Culver's
Oh, Baby
Did you get a milkshake afterward?
Your first audition was at a fast food restaurant
It proves you want it
It's embarrassing but it does prove you want it
I'm proud of you
Most people wouldn't have gone
What's more uncomfortable than going to open mic night?
Listening to open mic night stories
We have no context for this
How did it make you feel?
Maybe she is a biker
Going out on a high note
Thanks to everyone for throwing in their support for the show
In the effort to Keep the Archive Alive
That would be funny
No it's not
Thanks for listening to everyone
Whether it has been 500 or 12 shows, thank you
We've had a great time doing the show
The new show is, Life in the Can - www.lifeinthecan.com
You just can't end it Mr B! Can you!
Keeping you happy three days a week with a bonus
Thank you for letting us entertain you.

Tags: iPhone Life in the Can LitC High Life Hallmark Holliday

Season 20 Ep 19: San Francisco Part 2, The Meetup

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:25:08 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-04.mp3
Show: #494
Length: 41:59
Size: 28.8 mb
Format: mp3

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We're back for part two of San Francisco
The pre pre-school baby is in a kissing phase
She kissed a diseased baby
Then she kissed me and now I am infected
Other than daddy just do
I can blame it on her cuz I got the documentation
Her encrusted nostril in photos
I could track back the vector of my illness
Yes, you are the carriers
Listen to Croncast, "They argue with one another in their basement"
We rank with NPR shows in the post
How are we different than any other shows?
Funnier
Let the woman talk
No love for this man
I didn't get a party when I was there
Heading to the meetup at House of Shields
What if no one shows up?
People were bound to show up
Four people showed up
I am so glad that I disappointed you in a positive way
David, Sam, Russ and Katherine

The Meetup: Left to Right: Russ, Sam, Katherine (in back), David, Betsy (in blue), Jeanie

David has been listening for a long time
A very long time
He was in college, birthday, marriage to attorney
Look back at things that have happened while we have been doing the show
Schlomo gave us the space
It was dark, with a kicked over chair
That is HoS
Russ got a pre-smoking ban chair with an ashtray built into it
This is where we made the mistake
We started drinking right away, heavily
Jeanie kept up with me drink for drink
Mind you she is one third my size
We left the meetup to go dancing
More drinks
Then Jeanie starts dancing with a bearded Marylin Monroe
Having a great time and we stiffed them on the cab
Just drunk bitches we were
We gotta get to sleep
We have things to do the next day
We surface at 10 am
Jeanie didn't get out of bed till 3
I see a pattern with your Jeanie vacations
Remember Chef Jeff?
Back in my skinny days
Now I'm chubby
There's a food shortage I'm good for 8 weeks
At 8pm Mrs. and Mrs Smith are going to hop on a romantic cruise
They should have named it, "The Good Ship Jagermeister"
A little romantic music for you
If I tried to do that with my friends Evan or Mike
So the next day we rent a car
And we end up dumped in a pile of homeless people
They're like day of the dead zombies
Here comes the scariest wican beast i have ever seen in my life
This weather beaten hag pops up in the window
Shit happens, some people aren't what you expect
Are we on the road to Guerneville?
You can't do that with a kind vegan sister
A big coin receptacle
"I'm saving up to clone my cat, donations welcome"

Tags: San Francisco Guerneville Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen meetup

so fast i'm freaking

Thu, 01 May 2008 12:47:57 -0500

since I tend to often blog the negative, I thought I would talk about a positive.

I am a fan of Jimmy John's food, ads and staff. These are my people.

Tags: jimmy fan positive john food

Famous people I've sold shoes to

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:31:20 -0500

In the mid 90's after I left college (see; not graduating) I worked my up the food chain with an athletic shoe retailer to eventually manage a couple stores. In this time I was able to put shoes on the following famous (lightly said) peoples' feet:

By the way, the whole reason for this post is that for some reason I had a dream last night and replayed all of these sales in my head. Maybe it's a sign to give it all up and go back to selling shoes. Wouldn't Betsy be thrilled?!

Ok, here they are:

1) Carrot Top
2) Teddy Riley
3) Kevin Garnett
4) Lorrie Morgan
5) Ray Allen
6) Rudy T

What good stuff you got in your closet from a former life in sales dealing with "famous" people?

Tags: nike the finish line carrot top famous people feet

Season 19 Ep 27: Don't front like your mom bought fruit!

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:43:25 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-31.mp3
Show: #474
Length: 27:20
Size: 18.8 mb
Format: mp3

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The show notes suffer today. I gots lots on my plate. Good show though.

Tags: Gatorade Airplane Food oranges electrolytes soundgarden

Rant: Strategic blog commenting? Strategic tweeting?

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 08:23:42 -0500

Listen up Mr. and Mrs. internet marketer, your actions are sour, insincere and totally transparent as to your desire to dupe someone into clicking your link in an attempt to make a buck. You are full of shit and we know it. And, your students suck even worse at it.

Here is one example of "strategic blog commenting" by an idiot following the advice to get Google alerts for keywords related to his/her own site:

"Thank you for providing such useful info about dogs. The picture at this page is beautiful and love to eat one, look delicious." - Internet Marketing Douche Bag (real name hidden to protect the innocent)

The user email was admin@ourdataentry.com and the user URL linked back to a site about dog care. I'd say contextually there is something amiss here since the photo, other comments and title all indicated that the post was about hot dogs.

In this group I am not talking solely about the automated comment spammers that originally made our lives miserable but this new wave of get rich quick, "My internet marketing coach told me to do this" and internet marketing coaches, themselves.

As you and your people strive for authenticity, I believe that is one or your credos, maybe that term is no longer used, but you are about as authentic as a Gucci purse at a swap meet.

The entire reason for this post is because the comment above showed up next to a message from twitter that I was now being followed by 'helpmycashgrow'. Are you kidding me? You people make my head hurt. He also dropped this gem - "At work right now, at least i'm "supposed" to be working". Sir, you give me the confidence to let you help me grow my cash.

So now that people are strategic tweeting as a piece of their better mouse trap I would also like to call out the ass kissers on twitter, those trying to make an impression with someone that they don't know by disparaging another twitter user who comments directly with the person you are trying to kiss up to. Just don't do it. Might turn out that the disparaged and the ass kissee are good friends and the ass kissees other friends read that you are disparaging their friend.

Again we can see you for what you are but when you stoop to a troll level it is even more apparent that you have nothing to add except a desire to, as you perceive it, move up the food chain.

My hope is that you will all go back to infomercials and ripping off the elderly with home improvement scams. But I am guessing your type is here to stay and I just need to get better at filtering you out.

Tags: Internet Marketing Coaches Suck Teach Yourself and Save Your Money

meetings over eating at mabat kosher in teanek

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:38:09 -0500

wrapping up the day with some great food and zealous police officers outside pulling over speeders.

Tags: police zealous officers outside speeders

Season 19 Ep 22: Workahol, Collecting Pennies, Astro Van

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 08:50:33 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-19.mp3
Show: #469
Length: 27:10
Size: 18.7mb
Format: mp3

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Taking you to the hospital was a bit comedic
You are such an ass
Listen, it had to be done
I asked you not to put that picture on the internet
You did and then 20 minutes later you said put it up
Technologically challenged isn't something you can plead
Sell all of your clothes and buy an iPod
That is the way it should be done
"We're going to have to start an IV"
No, no, no
It gave me a flashback to giving blood
Those self-satisfied, holier than though bloodletting freaks
Sitting around sipping orange juice and eating vanilla wafers
Even the dancing blood drop
He is the smuggest prick around
I've had two children the IV was the worst part
Just do it
Don't tell me about it
This was a serious deal
You couldn't let this thing fester
I was down here digging ditches for you
I am going to get you a bottle a Workahol
I gotta be here to support you
Waskily wabbit do I need to you to show up in a crisis
The tables were completely reversed
You give me
You gotta put the antibacterial stuff on on it
Clean your dog bite wounds right away
You should immediately go to hospital for wound
Can you scratch my butt with your tooth
Then you get bitten
Now it is trying to kill you
The other angle that is happening
No you are trying to work from your mobile phone
Betsy went off the deep end
You became party Betsy
I did like 30 minutes of stand up
Filling in the gaps for Betsy
Then you did the laugh
I can't stand the whole blood thing
She hit a good vein
The nurse goes "Whoah!"
"You don't feel that?"
They just cut you
You're gonna be ok though
I have it on video
I know, the nurse didn't think to stop me
That won't hold up in court when you say Macy's dressing room
There was blood everywhere
The blood pooled in your elbow pit
Yeah, and you were over there drinking your Workahol
The ball was in court
Yes, it was kind of humorous
You were twittering the whole time
I wasn't doing that
I will scroll through your twitter record
You got through it very well
As an outpatient they said, double the drugs
Bit by the meanest shihtzu on the planet
During the intake you have to fill out the dog attack form
The dogophilia love that you suffer from
I knew the answer would be . . . it wasn't the dogs fault, it was mine
You people are crazy
It is the abuse gene
There were other women at the hospital say the same thing
Two nurses said the same thing!
My 15 yo dog bit me too
I know it was my fault and you laughed with her
You domesticated a wolf and invited it into your home
It is not your fault that they bite you
It is part of their nature
Mostly subdued but it is inherent in their personalities
Speaking of 15 pound one toothed animals
I saw Billy Bob Thornton and his band play in Austin
Riding in a Lesbian's Astro Van to dinner
She has a huge freezer bag full of stuff
It is dried peppers and tomatoes
He starts to eat some
The convince some people to try it
She's got the sweet Astro van
I know not to eat strange food in a mini van with two lesbians
What is it season with?
It as a 0 point yeast
The guy next to me spits it out across my lap
A zero point yeast!
Billy Bob Thornton was playing at Antone's
Real pennies prior to 1982

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: astro van shihtzu bite workahol collecting pennies zero point yeast gum

heading back to hotel

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 18:11:22 -0600

in desperate need of food and shower.

not in that order.

Tags: food shower order need desperate

this here's a brago

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 09:11:51 -0600

this is my favorite breakfast food. Served only at amante coffee. ingredients: potatoes, eggs, ham and some kind of flat bread. delicious.

One of my main reasons for coming on this trip.

Tags: brago amante coffee boulder, co trip coffee

Season 19 Ep 6: Hire Kris, Styrofoam Cups, All Caps

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 09:52:39 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-18.mp3
Show: #452
Length: 28:19
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

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View Kris's resume or download it

You wanted more than Wheel of Fortune?
Now you got it
Sure you want it
How to tickle a nerd?
Let us see funny stuff in our stats
From Google searches
Yeah I look for the search term
You know that your IT people got their space
They all need a little space
Evidently we are more exciting than a blue haired lot lizard
Those I dig, they were funny
I'm glad you are getting tickled
Not those industries
If I could reach a lower point in my wife's eyes . . . don't know what it is
Things couldn't be going much worse for me
Instead of life preservers I'm getting styrofoam cups
I am smiling and laughing because I know you are on cusp of something terrrible
Monday was going to awesome
Back story
Interviewing and meeting with people
Turns out they didn't want me for the job that I had applied for
We really want you
What do you want to do?
What would you want me to do if I worked here?
What does my resume say to you?
In all honesty, I haven't read it
Nice
So they loved me
For the last two months we'll get back to you
We are figuring this out
We know how to make it happen
When job hunting you are in a hurry but no one else is
The key is to not come off desperate
I asked what the culture was like
Sure I ended up over dressed
I'm applying for every job that I can
Everything and anything
Manager at Caribou Coffee, you bet
Come Monday most likely we'll be selling the Maguar
We've learned a lot over the last two years
Kris explains how his job ended
Next time all the other cats get gone
We did the best thing we could do at the time
If I would have waited three weeks I might not have had a job
We thought being proactive would be better
Betsy is keeping us afloat in food and small bills with china sales
The eBay sales have been
Listen, it even gets worse
I am fucking everything up
It's me
I'm not doing it on purpose
But it is surely me
Betsy runs her business like a busy mommy
So she gets an all caps email
Directed at the software that she sold for me
It's not my fault he doesn't get it
Oh, my God I am going to kill Kris
For this software, you have to be a nerd!!!!
If you aren't you won't even know what this software is
Not just a nerd but an audio nerd to know what Yellow Tools is
Yeah, I went after him
Not my fault he typed in all caps
Reaching pretty low lows
Wasn't listening to the Wheel shows better?
Man, this is depressing
Got a line on a gig?

Tags: styrofoam google searches low lows Wheel of Fortune interviewing

I survived

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 13:42:36 -0600

I just climbed to the top of this beast to retrieve Gigi.

Hopefully, my final fast food right of passage with the youngest of my children.

I am not built for such activity.

Tags: youngest passage food children built

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 26, 2007

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 08:16:14 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-26.mp3
Show: #438
Length: 32:06
Size: 22.0mb
Format: mp3

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Your dad sent an email from India
He wants to know what a 'post' is
Any content that is in the site
Kris commenting on Besty's cooking and sharing it with the world
I want to talk about the convalescent home that you knocked over
Where do you get clothes like that?
Betsy's Thanksgiving redemption with turkey dinner number two
Betsy role plays the judge at our divorce proceeding
We didn't share that
At Costco, because it is the only place I can shop
What are we here for?
I was in charge
How about we do another turkey?
Getting right back on the horse
Betsy avoids conversation
Somebody's gotta keep a cap on that stuff
All berries are the same
Not my Barry he's special
I cannot stand watching love scenes on TV
They all creep me out
It's even worse when they are elderly
Referencing the list
Betsy is wound up
Behold, this is what our listeners want, Kris
Made by hand by Goodwill Industries employees
Everyone could use them
And we get to pick the scent
How are the commuters going to hand that on the train?
On the antanae of their Treo
The nice thing about the air freshener is it keeps on giving
Very interesting, I'll take it back to the committee
Dino from improv university
He can get them cheaper
Brought to you by the people who brought you Aquadots
I did a photo essay, live blog or our Goodwill date
Photos start here
Watching you was like watching a manic woman
It was an experience
No one needs hot food
It should all be warm
I will own a restaurant someday called "Warm"
We were being followed
He was working downtown Naperville
The guys was a thief
Sure, Kris, he was just shopping
Not so close behind me
Maniacally stirring your hot chocolate to cool it down
Sure, when Whole Foods opens
More like Boulder every day
The man was up to something
He was undercover officer, Kris
He was picking out people who didn't fit . . . and it was you
Does his fleece say "North Face or REI?", no captain
Follow that man
Book nerds are the original nerds
The Bolingbrook thing is ooking me out
Yes, that Bolingbrook with Drew Peterson
The missing Stacey Peterson
In the last week I have gone by 3 groups of people looking for her in the woods
It is strange, simple strange
How your first memory impacts your entire life
What is your first memory Betsy?
Hitting strangers with a broom while they sat in circle
You are crazy
I poked my cousin in the head with a shovel once
You played basketball in gravel

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: North Face Aquadots air fresheners hot chocolate Bolingbrook Petersons

World's longest gummy snake - barf

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:33:12 -0500

Before you is the grossest food ever created.

Four feet long, slimy and every bit as unappetizing as roadkill.

Tags: long feet slimy bit roadkill