fourth | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

fourth floor

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 06:37:17 -0500

Season 23 Ep 09: Croncast Sampler

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:11:13 -0600

Show: #544-Sampler
Length: 5:54
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Hey hey
Those comments are gonna flow
Yes, I've had hamsters before
This would be a fourth
Well, it is a fourth
How did you have four hamsters?
What happened to them?
Kris tells a story that should never be told
I don't want to go into all of the things I learned in La Moille
You set me up for a lifetime of chores
I didn't walk away
I'm still here
No matter how much like a midget New Yorker and it's cute it won't work
As it is we can't have the landlord in to fix anything
Just don't tell Mommy
Daddy's buying me a hamster
You have no idea
I do know
Feral hamsters don't count, Kris
Glow in the dark ball back in the day
Pets didn't last me all that long
I tried to cram it down the Sesame Street slide
No it didn't die
Does you mom still have that?
It aint' a rabbits foot, it's a hamster foot
Look, is was common at that time
Aluminum foil on the bottom
What?
That is what they said to do
Who?
The people at the pet store
<-- sampler show ends -->

Tags: croncast kris smith betsy smith season 23 ep 08 get cool

Daddy Justice, Aluminum Lined, Long Memory

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:06:28 -0600

Show: #544
Length: 28:09
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Hey hey
Thos comments are gonna flow
Yes, i've had hamsters before
This would be a fourth
Well, it is a fourth
How did you have four hamsters?
What happened to them?
Kris tells a story that should never be told
I don't want to go into all of the things I learned in La Moille
You set me up for a lifetime of chores
I didn't walk away
I'm still here
No matter how much like a midget New Yorker and it's cute it won't work
As it is we can't have the landlord in to fix anything
Just don't tell Mommy
Daddy's buying me a hamster
You have no idea
I do know
Feral hamsters don't count, Kris
Glow in the dark ball back in the day
Pets didn't last me all that long
I tried to cram it down the Sesame Street slide
No it didn't die
Does you mom still have that?
It ain't a rabbits foot, it's a hamster foot
Look, is was common at that time
Aluminum foil on the bottom
What?
That is what they said to do
Who?
The people at the pet store
<-- sampler show ends -->
That is the way it was done
Was it like 1840 Louisiana?
It didn't do him any good
Just like you didn't end up with straight arms
The way that it is
If he's smart he won't eat it
Was your crib lined with foil?
He decided to do himself in
Brittle plastic bottom
It was a bird cage
I can't even look at you
Why did he die? I don't know
I highly doubt you had a hamster
It was really a dead parakeet
This is my friend Pete
No wonder the neighbor kids never played with me
Oh my god, that is dumb!
Maybe it got bird food
I lived in a blissful bubble till I met you
Oh, baby
Dylan's Candy Bar is worth the trip to NYC with kids
Maybe I shouldn't have done it
She will never forgive me
She's got a great memory
Don't go buy a hamster
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: hamster pet store dylan's candy bar new york la moille

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 24, 2007

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:40:33 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-24.mp3

Show: #331
Length: 30:20
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 24, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by James Hously
Intro done partially without any effects at beginning and the rest . . . history
Betsy mimics the bird man intro to the detriment of our audience
You look like a bird, Mr. B
Yeah maybe a flightless bird
Bears, you look like a Red Breasted Booby-Knocker
That would be the name of the bird that I get to name
You would name them all that
Who's got the PhD in Birdology . . . ornithology
Oh back when it was rocks for jocks
The same depth of sag, that's why they got along
You're being really sensitive tonight
I hit 30 and have found some good friends
People in 40's, 50's say when you are in your 20's you don't know shit
What are you thinking Betsy?
Chill out Bears
We we're oh so dumb, what did we know?
Why did we get married . . . especially at 20 and 21
I don't remember . . . but love and all that
That is back when you were wearing the teal cummerbund
With the fuschia shirt
You could have fried an egg on that shirt on a hot day
I used to walk home from that job at 4 am
Did you turn down every fourth prostitute or every third?
I did get followed home one night
By who a manitute?
He was hoping for Ballpark and ended up with a cocktail weenie
We hit 30 and things started to change
Kris, you proved us all wrong
That is back when I was making pizza's at the gas station
That guy did me a solid . . . he set me up with my first computer job
He asked me what was up with wife being pregnant
Worked for them for five years
The reason that Kris doesn't get along with IT departments
He opened the door for me
The tow of Slowsky part two
Living in Milwaukee and the car is going to get towed
But sir it has "Just Married" written in soap on it . . . "So"
Read your medication guidelines for side effects
I'll share most of it

Tags: manitute Red Breasted Booby-Knocker ornithology PhD Slowsky part two casino cage Volvo of Lisle

Vacation: Act #2 Omaha to Denver

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 09:12:25 -0500

Croncast - 2006-06-14.mp3

Show: #236
Length: 1:02:26
Size: 42.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 14, 2006

Act #2 is twice the length of our normal shows, but just like our trip we keep pushing through to make the Friday deadline for a full Act #3. That way we won't ever have to talk about this trip again.

So buckle up compadres as we take you on day 2,3 and the close of day 4 as we go from Omaha to Kearney, NE (we love Kearney, Midway Dodge and Thomas Hardage) to Denver.

So where were we?
Oh yeah Omaha
Go back to Monday, Act #1 if you haven't listened yet
We don't have time to reflect up it
Awake after 5 hours of deep sleep . . . yeah right
Epiphany for Kris, he figures out what the problem is with Slowsky
It appears that the gas peddle can't reach the floor or is being stopped
Handling dirty carpet
Slowsky is accelerating awesome
Up I-680 no problem up a hill
Air conditioning still blowing out the defrost vent
We hit fourth gear and Slowsky bogs down
You looked like someone had hit you in the crotch really hard
Did we stop or turn around in Omaha?Nope
I was gonna pull the oxen through and over the Rockies
Common sense would have turned us around
Betsy asks the cashier at a truck stop about our issues cause they should know
Our game plan becomes eat only at McDonald's and get to Denver
Stopping for gas over and over and over
Rolling at 60 pushing Slowsky to the breaking point
Betsy says cars are loaded weapons
I drove slowsky like a retired polo pony
Once AAA was taken care of it was on, drive it like I stole it
My foot is to the floor burning up the car
Slowsky's cry for help . . . check engine light flashes and then dims
Nebraska is the windiest state

Drafting with semi trucks because I can't go over 65
Speed limit is 75 which means 85 for all
People in Nebraska know there is nothing worth driving slow for
I still have no respect for the slow driver
The oil pressure gauge was nearly in the red
The van may explode at anytime
All the fun of a road trip and fantasies about stopping and eating the natives food, gone
No tourist traps for Slowsky
35 miles to the next exit
The arch over I-80 is where the Check Engine Light stays on

Hilly Iowa, not the hilly Nebraska
Calming the kids to soothe the hunching Kris
We get lucky and find Kearney, NE
Even luckier we find Midway Dodge of Kearney

Right next door was Enterprise
We meet Thomas Hardage, the only person not to let us down on this trip
It's 11:30 am and they close and 12:00 pm
He was a Slowsky prophet
he let us know that he 5 hour drive would take us 8 to 9 hours to Denver
There's Enterprise, we should leave car for repair
Kris says, "no" we're going to Denver and Betsy agrees
Help was put in our path and we tell it to fuck off
There was no charge to look at our car
You should not drive off into the great beyond in your broke ass van
"In Denver it will be really expensive", we pass again
Back on the road, 55 mph tops
Kris tries to make it go 56 entire way to Denver
We followed the same truck for about 300 miles

I-76 West down to Denver off of I-80

We are gaining control
We can see mountains
Now we are back to the itinerary, Yes!
Two straight days in a van
I will tell you when you can go to the bathroom
Telling Betsy over and over that we should have flown and what we would have been doing
From now on we fly, first class if we can afford it, 2-3 days at destination, rental car waiting and fly out on day 3
Coming in on the wrong side of Denver
Car collecting seems to be a hobby in Colorado
Hotel has Denver in name but it surely isn't in Denver
Slowsky is now down to 50 mph tops
But we've made it to Denver now
We're still in control . . . sort of
Slowsky was making death nells
Right near our hotel exit there is a Dodge dealer, John Elway Dodge on Arapahoe
The ultimate welcome to Denver . . . an arrest in our hotel parking lot

Navy wife-beater doesn't go with blond chest hair
Doesn't matter how nice a hotel is an arrest in parking lot harshes the mellow
We hit the hotel, 6th floor
18 giggling 12 year old girls right next to our room
Awesome birrthday for her
They were playnig door slamming game, Kris says no
Elliot loses his mind when we return to front desk to get another room
It is time to eat
I was bleeding money our of my eyeballs, really, dollar bills
Should have tossed one of the party girls over the balcony
Big wedding reception at the hotel, but no one was staying there, not one
The restaurant is out of highchairs, all in use for reception
It was time to start crying
We couldn't catch a break
One lone patron was going to hear our woes
What restaurants are near here?
We make it to Outback
Nothing goes wrong so Kris hugs the waitress
Elliot gorges himself, turns grey and runs to bathroom to puke
He has same gene that Betsy and I have where we eat to comfort ourselves
Where's that cereal? Do we have milk?
Needs to feel good in my belly
How sad is our happiness an Outback? We could have done this at home!!!!!!!
Research will take up whole half a work day
Talk begins about putting the family on a plane
Betsy understands her father's actions now from when he did it when she was a kid
It was time to stop the madness
We arrange for a rental car from Enterprise
Only place to do so is at Denver International Airport on Sunday
Shuttle is $20 but you need an appointment, what?
Concierge calls taxi for me and off I go
Denver knows nothing of urban sprawl
There could be free range beef within city limits
I tell cabbie DIA
The airport was 29 miles from our hotel
Ride to Ohare will take $28 bones of my money in a cab
Cabbie asks for $65 dollars for the ride!!! WTF

More notes and photos later. To get the rest of this you'll have to listen to the show for now. It is really hard to keep reliving this.

But I can't leave out the Act #2 cliff hanger . . . John Elway Dodge doesn't call us, we call them to hear, "Mam, the service manager didn't call you? Well, there's a problem with your vehicle. You see, one of our lot attendants . . . "

Coming up on Friday . . . Vacation: Act #3 Denver to Naperville

Update: These photos are from our 3 hours in Colorado Springs at Garden of the Gods and someplace in the downtown area. Family photo credited to guy I thought was homeless but turned out to be one of the dudes who just hang out to watch people go by.

Tags: Kearney Denver John Elway Dodge Arapahoe Slowsky Midway Dodge thetrip

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr. 5, 2006

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 07:00:16 -0500

Show Notes for #211

Length: 38:14
Size: 26.2 mb
Format: mp3

Download Croncast - 2006-04-05.mp3

Listen with iTunes? Spread the word!

Betsy and I try to follow up Monday's show and feel the pressure. We talked about it before the mics went on and well, you'll hear.

It is Wednesday right?
It is top Chef Day on Bravo
Betsy could watch any reality show
A three bean chili to reference top shelf
Lots of Kris coughing
The reality show formula
Good at the game because they are mediocre
Not as terrible as the 17 year old girl
Crabby 50 year old
Kris says porn is reality based
Betsy says, "Don't mess with my handy man fantasy"
Muffin blows a gasket upstairs
Mother-in-law wants to put the dog to sleep
Princess Muffin's doggyness
Doggyy boarding school 3 years ago . . . . $1800!
This damn dog ruining the carpet
She has to eat with the special dog gravy sauce
Who the hell whould buy dog gravy
Dog gravy or Garlic Pretzels?
Buying wierd snacks so no one eats them
Placebo diet of "nothing to eat"
No salty fingers here
You have no idea
The sweet, slow developmentally disable check out girl
You don't need cash
Dealers soon to take debit cards
Trying PeaPod
Kris needs to buy his own groceries
Get a better job you can buy real Cheatos
Can stand powder cheese and spaghettios
OkeDoke popcorn
The spaghettio taste and disgusting scent
Swedish spaghetti derivitive prok grease and corn starch
Who wants Betsy's Swedish Spaghetti recipe?
Chicken wings and french fries
Betsy's dream list
How many puffalumps to sell for an extreme body makeover
Armpits that look like asshole
Sweeping up the shavings from the floor
Getting an armlift
Betsy flank steak
Now you know what is really in bologna
Betsy has the plastic surgeons ad floating on the counter for a week
Betsy wants a tummy tuck, arm lift and my fav a breast do up
Why? Had two kids and have lost over 110 lbs
Metamorphic changes that need extreme home make over
10 weeks in bed and $40,000 and what do you get?
Bring on the fourth one
I don't care what they fill them with
Look good and soft to my touch
What surgery would Kris get?
Fix my teeth and bore out one of my nostrils
I can put a quarter width wise in my nose hole
Maggie has a weird nose (probly from her real daddy)
Comcast DVR is for bitches it is bad tech
Betsy is now a Big Love fan
Regret not doing the promos for HBO?
Betsy refused to pimped us out for $5.00 (not the real amount)
Is HBO worth it anymore?
Vacation to Deadwood, S.D.
Send your tricks for travleing with kids
Marlin Perkins from Wild Kingdom had it right
Send the kid running, dart them, wrap him in a net, blindfold him and then release him in the wild
Betsy wants to take a small airplane to S.D.
I'm not going camping
North Country - the movie, Betsy gives ending away
Aerosol spray butter

Tags: top chef swedish reality show croncast podcast

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 149

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 10:49:09 -0600

Croncast - 2005-12-04.mp3

Show: #191
Length: 43:51
Size: 30.1 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 149

Show Notes

Betsy all dressed up, well looking good
Fourth attempt to beat Maggie at screaming game
Elliot lost his head yesterday
Staying childless . . . wishing
The size of his head
This week at Goodwill
Size 8 suit for the man
It was for an 8 petit
Now he's got a size 12 suit
What size is a first grader
The holiday season picks up as donations increase
Tax deduction time
People want the DVD, you want the DVD
Two good weeks of shipping left for Holiday season
Kris with a "K' says perfect for Kwanza
There will be no Kwanza deal
Betsy will rock the open of Goodwill today
Nagging wives say clean up
Kris buys a PSP for his inner child
Ages 6 and up
I am in love with it, I have no games for it
Instead I have Beavis and Butthead Mike Judge UMD
Betsy still has tags from her inner child shopping spree
Watching "What not to Wear" and you realize you are the person
Zip up mommy fo-track suit
Advice for the Fluffy crowd
Waiting in line at the mall
Letting handicap people go first
Differently abled they are now
6'2 skinny women don't get the concept
Ladies up to size 16
Women start at 16W
W = WIDE
The differences are amazing
Sticking your finger down your throat if you're bigger than a size 10
Attack in the face with gold cleats
Betsy's Acne prejudice
It didn't dissolve into a crying session
Coming home in tears? Nope
Shopping for Carla
What brand is it?
You wouldn't sell a knock off purse
Up in the air about it
One size smaller
Regular department
The old lady bedalzed clouds section
"Your Area" for "Your people"
Blue hairs buying undies
The Ruth Maclellan line
What's wrong with blue hairs and apricots
Not caring any more
Stuff wasn't on sale at JC Penny
The trendy under 30 fluffy mommies
Betsy is fighting turning 30 next month
Spending $300 on her clothes
I buy her the clothes and Sean Paul buys my PSP
Buying before you have
Paul Wall bought me a new hard drive
Da Backwudz bought something but I forgot it
Sacramento, brown and cold looks just like here
It was weird but with homeless people
One homeless guy in Naperville
Token crazy homeless guy hangs at Goodwill
Trying on a town or city as a new place to live
Counting pregnant 12 year olds
10 most creative cities in America according to Fast Company magazine
Men watching Hallmark movies, wives don't tell people
"My husband loves Lifetime."
Crying together on the couch
Read the Hallmark cards at the store
Scrapbooking is the movement
Scrapbooking is fo the 3 grader in you who likes the funny scissors
Making websites is like scrapbooking
Helping Betsy become a rich old woman
Living in a gutter eating cabbage out of a dumpster
I will make a mutt stole for you out of a German Shepherd
The trophy row
The Hippie Guy not Latino but Italian
"You're the one who got away."
Five minute dating
Seven minutes in heaven is different than dating
Pushing We're Coming Over again
Reading the quotes from the back

Tags: size betsy people kris scrapbooking

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 124

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 05:51:09 -0500

Croncast - 2005-09-19.mp3

Show: #165
Length: 49:50
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 22.9 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 124

Welcome to the playroom
The wet bar basement fad
Amazon Rainforest shower head fad of today
Kris' body slaves are unsexy eunuchs
Betsy sets Kris straight on SCWF meaning
I am trying to make it Share Croncast With a Friend
Nerds with personal digital devices
Baptists on the front lawn
Betsy can't get anything straight when she tells me for the first time
No beliefs from youth
Kris thinks he is #1 Daddy
I've seen some pretty horrible things this week
Then Betsy reminds me of one of the worst things I've seen first hand
Fourth and Towne for the "muffin toppers", Betsy is on to something
Kris tries to start something with Betsy and she nullifies it
Shoe knowledge will never leave you if you have sold shoes
Handicat is a cat for single men
Vote for us at Podcast Alley

Tags: betsy kris croncast first straight