free | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 23 Ep 05: Doorman Wars, Overheard, New York Days

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 16:23:19 -0500

Show: #540
Length: 28:25
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Getting it on
Dude, that was so smarmy
You should talk like that job interviews
That way you would get every job
How are you homeless and buying brand new stuff?
I got a family and Cobra
IT skills true
Contracts and Cobra are for me
Cement truck guy got my dog and benies
Garbage picking in NYC
That couch you're sitting on was free
The doorman battles
What sort of breed are these guys?
They sweep you with your eyes
They're unionized
Snagging late night coupons when the bodega closes
You don't give that away for free!
Her mom told her that
The boyfriend was not into it
Oh, you don't have a . . .
I overpaid now
You were pretty for a guy

Tags: NYC Doormen test cement trunk bodega lottery tickets

Season 23 Ep 02: The Penthouse, Bedazzled Shirts, Purse Selling Zombies

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:44:52 -0500

Show: #537
Length: 28:09
Format: mp3

I can't tell you the story off the show
There is safety on the show
A good tight story
Directors cut?
Just tell me the story
Three undred people waiting to get in . . .
And then us
Yeah, with you I don't think club with a 'K'
It looks like John Goselin fell from an airplane and exploded
All too much
The 6'8 400 lbs bouncer comes over
Failed arena football player
Heading to the penthouse party
Yes, I'll take you up right now
I don't fit at all
The head neck move dance all together
We make our way in
Turns out it is a Penthouse part
Not a penthouse party
Was TMZ there?
They see you the music stops and they ask who let this guy in
Schlumpy midwestern guy, who let him in?
I was on the of the line
Sure the Pussy Cat Dolls were doing there show
Did they say i gotta go to the bathroom
No, but they did let me know I might not get in
Leave you outside?
Yeah, but I totally understand
Gonna make it happen
I know that you know that I am impressed
You aren't making eye contact with me
We get into the VIP area
That was it
Didn't know what to do after that
Then the free drinks began
They brought out the Cristal
It was a cliche of cliches
Everyone is loving it
The AVN awards ends and the adult stars start showing up
Every Ed Hardy design was represented
Bouncers couldn't figure out who or why we were there
Let me tell you what we were doing while you were partying
I took Maggie to a craft shop
Where?
On Canal Street
Nice
Yeah, I was attacked by purse selling zombies
I would call you from hell, but not bother you from heaven
That's marriagr
The store was half empty
Right, cuz all the embroidery thread was needed for the shirts in vegas

Tags: Pure Las Vegas VIP Penthouse Party schlumpy Ed hardy

Croncast The New York Days

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:25:05 -0500

Croncast - 2009-12-31.mp3
Show: #535
Length: 8:42

Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Croncast the New York Days Begins on January 13th!
We're making some changes
The new shows are paid subscription
Sign up on the Get Cool page
New York is like living on an elevator
You're all up in everyone's business
You try to relax but you can't
No one can
All of the pet roles have been recast
Keeping it subterranean
We can't do a full episode, baby
Has New York changed these people
What sort of sales pitch is that
You got to pep it up!
Getting Cool 4 Life
That is the patron level
They love what we do and want to support it
People can unsubscribe at anytime
No missed days . . . we gots obligations
We also have a new live video show
That starts January 18th
It's called High Society Salvage Co.
All new, all kinds of awesome
I've got Chanel suits to auction off
All kinds of weird stuff
In conjunction with Tim Street we'll be cranking that one out
Begin subscribing by going to Get Cool
It's all good people!
Kris's cheap chair implodes during the outro
Couldn't have planned it better
It's funny to other people
All part of the story
All the old shows will still be free on the site and on iTunes
New start for us number 447
2010 here we come!

Tags: New York Kris Smith Betsy Smith paid podcast subscription unique rss feed

Statue of Liberty

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:36:44 -0500

A shot of the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry. If you're ever in NY, Ellis Island is $ this ferry is free.

Tags: ferry statue island liberty free

Season 22 Ep 07: Betsy's Clairvoyant, You're Grounded, Gameshow Desires

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:20:41 -0400

Croncast - 2009-06-16.mp3
Show: #533
Length: 25:51
Size: 23.8 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

What you don't have is the funny
I'm bringing it to over 40 people Thursday nights
All in the old Seinfeld time slot
What are you up against?
Oh, yeah . . . ER reruns
They used to stay home for Greys Anatomy
Not so hot early on
Doing the shows for your cousins
12 people versus 50 and percentage laughing
Well, I can see you telling a joke in a restroom
All about pumping your ego up
Two fangirls waiting for me
Thinking they can't find the bathroom
"Oh, my god. You were so funny."
Bitsy's door star - they can't speel
The bicycle issue
There is no issue . . . I am the BMX'n boy
Kris, I couldn't ride a bike until I was 10
That is the plan the man is on
He got my physical genes
My neighbors got rich of off my physical ineptitude
I learned to ride in the grass
Of course you did softy
I saw a malleable four year old girl in front of me
She wanted to go fast
Daddy, go get the tool box
She takes the wrench from me
Takes the training wheels herself
Took 2 minutes to get her going
Then 20 to get her starting off on her own
Loving it for the freedom
Number one for her was freedom
The second is that Elliot can't ride a bike
She pointed it out, Not me
A stranger isn't going the pick the nutty kid
The other was her fear of punishment
She tried to give up
I motivated her
She got so upset that she just did it
All kids are different and need different motivational techniques
Just a wee bit of manipulation
One teaspoon of manipulation and one of sweat
You gotta throw in some love
You know that I am clairvoyant Mr B
Baby, you can't tell people that
That is just too much
Walking to school in a Marlboro Jacket
They had a denim one that I wanted
You could deduce that knowing my history
Betsy is ready to restart her career as a game show contestant
When you hit the track you become a robot
I'll be back later, I got ponies to read up on

Tags: Seinfeld bmx game show ponies fangirl

Kris in Boston Friday, Meetup?

Wed, 20 May 2009 15:48:28 -0400

I'm headed to Boston this Friday, May 22nd . . . who's up for drink or two between 4-5:30 pm?

I've got a noon meeting and will be free around 3. Just enough time to get around the city and find a good place for a beer or two.

Where should we meetup?

Tags: Boston East Coast No Chase Bank

Season 21 Ep 22: The Mexico Part 1

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:51:06 -0400

Croncast - 2009-03-23.mp3
Show: #522
Length: 32:12
Size: 29.6 mb
Format: mp3

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Back from the Mexico
This here would be part 1 of a multi-part series
This is where we take you on our vaction with us
I think I've been drinking excessively
She sweats the daiquiri
For those of you caught up, you know that we weren't around last week
We were on Betsy's Wheel of Fortune vaction to Mexico
Best part - it was free
I'll get to the parts where you nearly broke down
Props on the plastic plants you bought
Excellent investment for returning home
Growing up in a silk jungle
Dusty cornflower blue carnations
These flowers are special
They will be here forever
At some point you know that your mother-in-law will show up
Thank you for admitting that you didn't want to go with me
You can't relax for your life
Right, I can't do it
My biggest concern was the webernets close at hand
I had to have wi-fi
And your gear
One laptop, a netbook, iPhone, Treo, Camera and tons of cables
There you are a big nerd
That's just the way that it was
I don't want to take him on a vacation
What happens if you don't have them and need them?
Getting on Facebook drunk is a bad idea
They have an international speaking doctor on staff
Mayan vs Spanish vs English
He had watched 6 seasons of ER
The Swedish Slenders came up with Continental airplane designs
Hulking massive dude in the cramped seat typing on a toy computer
The women sitting behind you Mr B inspired them
They had their own "Baby Daddy Con '09"
Loose women? Is that what you are trying to say
The entire flight "My Baby Daddy..." the entire trip
The way they talked about them you would expect their baby daddies to be titans of industry
Best job I ever had was working at the shrimp hut
Needless to say that they didn't have any kids with them
Was excited she got to run cash register
Maybe in 2010 Baby Daddy Con '10 will be on your next flight
Keynote speaker will address "fertility in tough times"
If Jeanie were here
We would have started drinking and laughed at the girls
The best in flight entertainment
I am fixated on the Mayan the thing
It's a cultural thing
Continental bathrooms in the terminals, good god
I needed a ladder to get down to the urnial to pee
Not on the plane, baby
They were out to make you out to feel like 7'5
Continental "Making you feel like a big man."
Mexican customs
Betsy comes to a complete stop and follows directions
Abiding by the rules while no one else is
Move it, chocha
Chocha is now my new middle name
Why didn't we plan for a ride to resort?
Jumping on the newbies
Look, fat people on spring break
Kris gets into protection mode
We roll outside to get on your Grey Line minibus
Only two people heading in our direction
The girls from Montana
We're out there chatting for an hour as we wait
They pull up in a baja raced VW Jetta
Us and the girls pile in
The driver waits outside reading the directions the girls gave him
Twenty minutes later he gets back in the car
Little did we know what was written on that paper
If they had given to me, I would have kicked them to the curb
Find out what was on that paper on Wednesday

Tags: Mexican Vacation Dreams Tulum Baby Daddy Con daiquiri mix chocha

Season 21 Ep 17: Fly home stoned, Polyester rugs, Gesticulate freely

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 12:37:27 -0500

Croncast - 2009-02-27.mp3
Show: #517
Length: 27:26
Size: 25.2 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Get it on
Leave us some comments here or reviews in iTunes
Not really vicious
But spousal hate
Funny on many levels
A paid gig for Betsy
Will you be on IMDB?
I don't know what you're talking about
March every Thursday
Five other chicks all under me
Sounds like my kind of life
It's all coming together
Adam Carolla is now on the podcasting
Maybe we need to hire him
Six women under me
I want to write that book
Re-organized the basement
I had to get it on
Needed to change up my space
This winter is killing me emotionally
Short shorn polyester rug
It's 85 colors and shades of testosterone
Been stuck down here working for so long
I got a bit claustrophobic
Proud you cleaned up
Making space
I was afraid to touch your desk
Now I can gesticulate freely
It's like we're single again
Right from your mother's clutches to mine
You would be perfectly happy at public storage
Don't ship Grandma's meds via FedEx
So she can fly home stoned
Right, like God intended
Sherlock in Mumbai

Tags: Adam Carolla Podcast FedEx mule gesticulate freely Sherlock in Mumbai

Season 21 Ep 12: Triscadecaphobic, Mental Sabbatical, Rescue Animals

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 12:49:11 -0500

Croncast - 2009-02-13.mp3
Show: #512
Length: 24:13
Size: 22.3 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

This show brought to you by Affordable Promotions
I won't say the date
A bit triscadecaphobic are we?
As usual
I know how this goes
It's a big business day
The cyclical nature of our moon phases matched with a Friday the ____
Happy Valentines Day Mr B
I'm going to buy you a gross of coffee mugs with my face on them
Great, I could sell them at Starbucks or a quarter
WachterBach haul
Sounds like a Worcester sauce
Pfaltzgraff and a fancy brand called Kimberly-Clark
Getting the freezer
"I remember that like it was yesterday"
That makes you old
The recall feature to tell the stories properly
Hercules came to me while I was sleeping
The stories that people tell about their rescue animals
What is going on with Facebook?
Everyone is showing up
All of your past infested lovers
I can see my friend that is now on a mental sabbatical

Tags: mental sabbatical moon phases triscadecaphobic wachterbach

Season 20 Ep 20: Photos, Old Shuffling Posse, Professional Tic

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:25:15 -0400

Croncast - 2008-06-06.mp3
Show: #495
Length: 30:25
Size: 20.9 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Oh, the 2008
Comments on the photos
I'm a what?
You're a good amateur photo taker, Bears
I never made it to the sweetest Goodwill in the world
When was that?
San Francisco, it just wasn't meant to be
Look at you all up on the Oprah stuff
I got my eye on those celebrities
I knew today was going to be a great day
Because the Lutherans were having a sale
Garage Sales are euphemisms for "Party on the Driveway"
You were benevolent enough to babysit
It is either a ghost or an alien in front of me
You should be so lucky
Space Ghost!
You can convince me of anything
I got to the sale kind of late
The guy from the furniture tent comes out an yells
That we can hop into a new line that is shorter
I was torn
They can have stuff in multiple questions
I think you will reach a point, your peak of sales skills
We should freeze dry you at that point
Then revive you in the future when the dollar is strong
It will be like a time machine
Betsy, you bring it
The dollar is still strong with the Lutherans
Double check the luggage later
I stand in line to wait for the dishes
I need my fine china fix in their housewares sections
I brought bags and I have adrenaline flowing in my limbs
Oh, look, Christopher Stewart
This is when I started to look like a nut
Started?
Slow shuffling old posse arrived
Those match my dishes
I love those
Are you going to buy those?
I am now just to spite you
You wasted my time with your story
They're rookies baby
You are con-garagies
They send the 12 year old anemic boy to help me carry stuff
She's now a professional tic
She went and bought speakers from Farm and Fleet
I love it, speakers from Farm and Fleet
I am sure you are related to people that duck taped their heads That is the truth
Duck taping down his pants
Especially when fired up the chainsaw
The tape suit
Class issues really stand in your way Mr. B
"Transvestite's getaway car ran over good Samaritan's foot"
Words make the world magnificent

Tags: Space Ghost Farm and Fleet speakers Lutheran sale Naperville

two lanes wide, the names

Mon, 26 May 2008 16:31:48 -0400

the crowd got hushed quite a bit when they saw this banner coming down the street when they realized what it was.

the banner has the names of every soldier killed to date in the current iraq war. the stunning part is that the names are written very small.

it had a great impact. people were commenting about how big the banner was.

no one clapped when this one went by.

i got choked up and am again typing this up.

Tags: operation iraqi freedom operation enduring freedom names written small

Maggie's haul

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 13:23:52 -0400

right now this betta is try to kill my fingers.

This message was sent using the Picture and Video Messaging service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

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Tags: download quicktime video visit player

Season 20 Ep 4: 11 Days, Drew Peterson, Elevator Pitch

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:34:53 -0400

Croncast - 2008-04-11.mp3
Show: #479
Length: 26:37
Size: 18.3 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2007 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

I is swamped my people. Show notes take another on the chin. If anyone has the time to put some show notes together for this episode feel free to and send them on I'll put them in here and give you a huge shout out, like, where I say your name loudly.

Shout out goes to BigJon - super player and show note maker

Show Notes:
Croncast intro
11 more days to Earth Day
Dry crocodile skin
Welding company hand model
Cooking show video
No wrist bones
Fitness routine
Armchair critic
Addiction to nitrates
Living ex-pat life
Aversion to guns
Comments on moving
House hunting in SF
Good schools and Thrifty Republicans
Drew Peterson on Larry King
Looking in the woods near us
Stacey Peterson signs
Police officer son
We got 911!
Baloney sandwiches with mayo
Year of guys in our area to murder their wives
Divorce reasons
Big insurance policy
Follow the news trucks
Scumbag
Watersealing basements
A-Town van, one eye, mullet, and prison tats
Would have given him a shot
Don\'t marry that guy
Heavily medicated shoe salesman
Temper tantrums
Who liked him?
Panic attack
Other perspectives
Missing a leg...last shot
I won
Wow, he looked me in the eye!
Garage saling
Un-employed babysitter
30 garage sales
Love garage sales by default
Kris must love you
Horrible at math
No more baby shit
Garage sale notes
Legalized gambling
Know your people
Capri Sun + Toddlers
Melting down silverware
The gay doctor
Crap in the dining room
Barb and daughter china junker service
Croncast outro
Coming to an end...

Tags: iPod Bolingbrook best laugh elevator pitch share croncast

making progress - alan levy and bob charish

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:41:44 -0400

So I have been in Jersey for a couple hours and we are making headway.

Hoping to get some free time to meet with some peeps at night. We'll see.

Tags: making hoping headway free meet

I surrender: Trading Creative Commons for Traditional Copyright on Flickr

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 08:27:02 -0400

The photo above, which I titled "I surrender", seemed apropos for this post.

I would like to preface what follows with this caveat: This post is more about emotion than it is copyright law, of which I am not an expert nor even remotely qualified to comment on. This is merely my observations as a content creator on Flickr.

When I opened my Flickr account I used a Creative Commons Attribution only license. This came to an abrupt end after a few weeks when I found one of my photos being used in a for-profit blog with the attribution copy in 4pt type in the footer of the post. Did the user of my photo meet the terms of the license? Possibly, but to minimize my contribution to his post wasn't cool. I felt ripped off.

At this point I switched over to a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs license that I hoped would alleviate the commercial peeps from using my images without permission. I thought it might also motivate others to give proper attribution.

It did . . . once. This year I was approached by a company that wanted to use the photo as part of their mapping software. It felt great to have someone ask to use a photo, even if it was for free. Their agreement allows me to retain all of my creative and publishing rights. Nice.

So, I have been thinking about my experiences over the last year with my Flickr account. There have been both positive and negative experiences but mostly positive. However, for some reason the negative ones have won out. I recently switched my photo licenses back to traditional copyright with all rights reserved.

I look at this move as putting up a fence or at least a no trespassing sign. If someone asks for permission to use one of my photos I will almost always give them permission to use it. I am flattered every time that I see someone linking, posting or asking for permission to use a photo.

What are your thoughts? Should I go back to a web 2.0 style license and get over it because we live in a re-mix culture?

Tags: photo copyright Flickr Creative Commons content creator

Season 19 Ep 22: Workahol, Collecting Pennies, Astro Van

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 08:50:33 -0400

Croncast - 2008-03-19.mp3
Show: #469
Length: 27:10
Size: 18.7mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Taking you to the hospital was a bit comedic
You are such an ass
Listen, it had to be done
I asked you not to put that picture on the internet
You did and then 20 minutes later you said put it up
Technologically challenged isn't something you can plead
Sell all of your clothes and buy an iPod
That is the way it should be done
"We're going to have to start an IV"
No, no, no
It gave me a flashback to giving blood
Those self-satisfied, holier than though bloodletting freaks
Sitting around sipping orange juice and eating vanilla wafers
Even the dancing blood drop
He is the smuggest prick around
I've had two children the IV was the worst part
Just do it
Don't tell me about it
This was a serious deal
You couldn't let this thing fester
I was down here digging ditches for you
I am going to get you a bottle a Workahol
I gotta be here to support you
Waskily wabbit do I need to you to show up in a crisis
The tables were completely reversed
You give me
You gotta put the antibacterial stuff on on it
Clean your dog bite wounds right away
You should immediately go to hospital for wound
Can you scratch my butt with your tooth
Then you get bitten
Now it is trying to kill you
The other angle that is happening
No you are trying to work from your mobile phone
Betsy went off the deep end
You became party Betsy
I did like 30 minutes of stand up
Filling in the gaps for Betsy
Then you did the laugh
I can't stand the whole blood thing
She hit a good vein
The nurse goes "Whoah!"
"You don't feel that?"
They just cut you
You're gonna be ok though
I have it on video
I know, the nurse didn't think to stop me
That won't hold up in court when you say Macy's dressing room
There was blood everywhere
The blood pooled in your elbow pit
Yeah, and you were over there drinking your Workahol
The ball was in court
Yes, it was kind of humorous
You were twittering the whole time
I wasn't doing that
I will scroll through your twitter record
You got through it very well
As an outpatient they said, double the drugs
Bit by the meanest shihtzu on the planet
During the intake you have to fill out the dog attack form
The dogophilia love that you suffer from
I knew the answer would be . . . it wasn't the dogs fault, it was mine
You people are crazy
It is the abuse gene
There were other women at the hospital say the same thing
Two nurses said the same thing!
My 15 yo dog bit me too
I know it was my fault and you laughed with her
You domesticated a wolf and invited it into your home
It is not your fault that they bite you
It is part of their nature
Mostly subdued but it is inherent in their personalities
Speaking of 15 pound one toothed animals
I saw Billy Bob Thornton and his band play in Austin
Riding in a Lesbian's Astro Van to dinner
She has a huge freezer bag full of stuff
It is dried peppers and tomatoes
He starts to eat some
The convince some people to try it
She's got the sweet Astro van
I know not to eat strange food in a mini van with two lesbians
What is it season with?
It as a 0 point yeast
The guy next to me spits it out across my lap
A zero point yeast!
Billy Bob Thornton was playing at Antone's
Real pennies prior to 1982

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: astro van shihtzu bite workahol collecting pennies zero point yeast gum

There comes a time . . .

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:15:53 -0500

Yes, there does come a time when a man must leave his lair. Landing where else but a caffiene pushers store with free wifi for an hour. After that I'll hit the evdo.

The new 12+ hour workdays are making my little cubby less appealing. Need sunlight, though I still believe that the sun is out to get me. I need environment less conducive to sitting still.

Listen to quick Cinch that I did on my way to the coffee joint.

Download size: 629.35 KB

Tags: BlogTalkRadio Cinch Kris Smith Croncast

Season 19 Ep 17: Small Fry, Baby Face, Knight Rider

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 09:49:40 -0500

Croncast - 2008-02-15.mp3
Show: #463
Length: 43:23
Size: 29.8mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Jeanie is in town
Leaving some comments
The guy who sells stuff on tv
Getting our first C&D
You've got to be kidding me
The links come from Ebay
Didn't want to be told
It's all ESC fault in the first place
If you get one too ESC let me know
I will roll over like the big pansy that I am
Go to Google and
Stipulation is owning those two words put together
Like I own Mr. B?
Now if you say it I am going to sue you
I will find all
I copyrighted Jeanie's CB handle 'Small Fry'
Career choices
Look she married me
One wild crazy idea
Jeanie's face
I got you something earlier this week
I got a job
Where is my present?
I paid for that
I'm going all out
Did you squeeze some ground beef out of tube
Guys, I am trying to get a career
We know Betsy
What happened to Wheel of Fortune?
Not gonna happen
Just get back to people tell them it isn't working out
Find me the chubby stay at mommy stay at home comedian
Like my improv career that I pay for
The gig fell apart
It was an association party
They don't want
Is the man in the basement telling me that I don't get out enough?
It is your lack getting out
Yeah, we're gonna perform during dinner time
I had a flash back of the belly dancers at the conference
Holding napkins over crotches slinking off
The belly dancing went down
At the next party there was a bondage demonstration
The year before they had the painted women
Ewwwwwwwww
Jeanie might recognize them from the lot lizard count
Anyone named Velma under 72 is a lot lizard
Isn't your grandma named Velma?
Yes, she is older than 72
Did the people even want you there?
Jeanie dated that guy
I didn't date anyone on the road
For technicalities sake, you did have a trucker boyfriend
What was his CB handle?
They called him "Baby Face"
Baby Face and Small Fry
Did he have to sit on a telephone guy?
Baby Face turned you into a trucker
I thought we were going to talk about my resume
Karen Zhender gender bender
Why don't you eat your weight in free cake and we can blow this popcorn stand
For out last performance
"Whew, last one"
Passing on the highway
We chatted with Knight Rider
He had to pick is own CB handle
You and who? You said we?
Me and Sweet T
Jeanie, I love these stories
Where else did you work?
As a 911 dispatcher
No way!
You've got to have good stories
He was in the evidence 'shed'
Shed?
When you destroy guns you saw them in to pieces
He was sawing
Friction and a bullet in the chamber
He swore that he checked
Officer Twinkie shot himself in the leg
Stopping speeders

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: Knight Rider Jeanie Bowen Velma cb handle

Interviewed by Podcast Free America

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 09:59:00 -0500

Ryan Irelan of Podcast Free America has started a new series of "interviews with podcasters and new media producers about the stuff they do to make their podcasts great."

Ryan punched my ticket over the weekend and released the interview yesterday, "Inside Look: Kris Smith of Croncast".

We talked a little about the show and its origins, gear and quite a bit about RSS. I can't get enough of the RSS talk.

Look for some more interviews of other long-time podcasters in the future from PFA.

Thanks to Ryan for letting me ramble on!

Tags: PreSonus Sony Sound Forge Ryan Irelan Podcast Free America RSS

Resale Queen Podcast Episode 3

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 09:42:21 -0500

Resale Queen - 2008-02-02.mp3
Show: #003
Length: 23:17
Size: 16.0mb
Format: mp3

This Week's Show: Dumpster Diving Checklilst.

Suburban dumpster diving
Location, location, location
Know the front end - don't want any surprises
Get to know routine
Scout for employees/cops/palette pickers
Leave a car running and ready with door open
Get your stuff and go
Get greedy get hurt
Picking from neighborhoods
Never look the home owner in the eye
How does it change for urban and rural environments?
You have to knock on the dumspter first to get out racoons and feral cats

Next week: Next week we talk eBay Feedback and Fees.

Links: Dawn Shumate sent these great dumpster diving resources. Thanks Dawn!!

http://dir.groups.yahoo.com/dir/Hobbies___Crafts/Hobbies/Dumpster_Diving
http://dir.groups.yahoo.com/dir/Hobbies___Crafts/Hobbies/Secondhand_Shopping

There is a specific dumpster diving group whose goal is to make a map of dumpsters in the Chicago area called garbage liberation.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/garbageliberation/

Most of you will know us from our podcast Croncast (every M-W-F)

Tags: astronaut reslae queen eBay dumpster diving bubble wrap

Make the Flickr PHP API not so ugly and easier to use

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 10:11:15 -0500

For months I have been bypassing the Flickr API and using RSS 2.0 feeds instead. The reason? They come with all the photo stream data that you need in a nice little package. Things like title, description, tags, date taken, date uploaded, image dimensions, etc.

What is missing from the RSS feed the ability to load comments with a photo and choose how many items are returned in the feed. The API, however, will let you load hundreds of images and load comments for each photo.

There is a catch though. The API is broken up into about a 75 different calls. Not one single call to the server can match the data that is returned in the RSS feed. To get the same data I need to make approximately 8 different calls to Flickr. Not good.

What use is the API?

It gives me the ability to create a historical back up of my photos in their most basic form with urls, date, descriptions (with html stripped) and tags. It also gives someone building an application a rich data source to do some of the things that Flickr isn't already doing - the purpose of an API.

After working with it for a few hours I became frustrated. PHP is my poison of choice and the PHP examples that Flickr uses all return serialized data. Which is great and easy to work with if you already know what the XML namespaces are but without them it is hard to access the data. And in some cases impossible without printing out the serialized array and looking at it because the returned serialized array's keys don't match the XML namespaces. Not to mention children are buried in deeper arrays that aren't as easy to access as say $title = $item->photo['title'].

Here's how I cleaned up the mess. If you are PHP guru then I am sure you could get this down to one script.

An 'include' script, sort of. View this script by URL on your server to see all name spaces:

1) Create a new PHP file declaring xml as file type - header("Content-Type: text/xml")
2) Use the url that Flickr supplies to return content in REST format
3) Comment out the line for serialization
4) Use PHP's file_get_contents() function
5) echo the returned XML

A loader script:

1) Create a loader script
2) Call the include script - $resp = simplexml_load_file("YOUR INCLUDE SCRIPT URL");
3) Get the data out by name space, the same ones that Flickr documents

To view the name spaces that you will want to access simply open up the include script by url in your browser.

For now I will stick with the RSS 2.0 feeds for blog submissions but once I have some free time I will be using the API code above to create a cached archive for my own safe keeping.

Tags: photo frame digital Flickr API PHP simple simplexml_load_file

Twitter background guidelines

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 10:21:12 -0500

Ever wanted to make an interesting Twitter background? Here's how I did it.

Side note: This post comes to you straight from an email reply to fellow long-time podcaster Michael Geoghegan in regards to my Twitter background.

Also of note, this layout works best on higher res monitor settings. I imagine that most active Twitter users that are going to be viewing the site as opposed to sms or mobile versions are on high res settings. That said, let's roll.

Creating your background
-----------------------------

File Dimensions: 2048 px by 1707 px (no clue why i used these dimensions but I am sure I knew what I was doing at the time)
Branding Dimensions: 80 px by 587 px
Coordinates: X=20, Y=14
Horizontal position: 20 px from the left (give yourself some padding)
Vertical position: 14 px from the top (will line up your graphic with the top of the twitter logo. our eyes like symmetry) File size and type according to Twitter: "Images must be smaller than 800k. GIF, JPG, PNG."

Aesthetics
------------

Color palette: Pick colors that match that with default Twitter stylesheet colors. If they contrast too much follow the Change Background directions above and change the colors for Text, Name, Link, Sidebar fill and Sidebar border as needed.
Recommendation: Choose colors that work with the default and save yourself the headache of matching the CSS to your image. Follow Twitter's lead.

Uploading your background
------------------------------

Change Default Background: Login and click 'Settings' >> click 'Design' >> Select 'Use my custom style below' radio button >> Upload your image

It took me quite a bit of time to get a background image that I was happy with. There was a lot of editing and uploading again, and again until I got it right. I would suspect if you're like me your experience will be much the same. So have patience when getting it just right. And remember that you are working within someone else's website and can't control all the features.

Update: This is the background that I based this tutorial on - Croncast background all by itself if you want to use it as a guide.

Here's my current background at work (note: it is now free-form) - http://twitter.com/croncast.

Tags: template size twitter background Michael Geoghegan twitter

Chickens in them eggs

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 16:23:24 -0500

Today was daddy day and it all worked out perfectly thanks to the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago - free admission.

It's been about a year since I took the kids and thought that Maggie might really enjoy it now that she is older.

When I told them where we were going the first thing she said was, "baby chickens". It's amazing what they remember. The last time she was there she was a year and a half old.

Why can't I remember stuff like that?

Tags: egg incubator MSI Chicago Museum of Science and Industry chicks

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 12, 2007

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:27:04 -0500

Croncast - 2007-12-12.mp3
Show: #444
Length: 25:31
Size: 17.5mb
Format: mp3

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My stalker is back
Kris, put the shoe on the other foot
He thinks you are stalking him
I keep my eye on everyone
You are so cute when you laugh
You have the bobble body Mr B
Put it out there to the Secret
You have got to stop this Secret crap
I want to do a training series for HR professionals
How to hire a guy like me and How to hire a gal like me
Gal would be done by Nicole Simon
I need that gum scraper here at home
I have to pay the kids to clean
Elliot gets Webkinz
Listen, it is my trained earwigs
They mulch aluminum cans for me
The cafe press store, so far I have license plate frames
Here it is, shirts on the way
My dad told me white collar prison isn't so bad
Conjugal visits through the fence
We need to have a jail baby
So you can have something to look forward to
Do you mean motivation?
I never met my daddy
He and mama hug real close through the fence
You talked be out of babies
The home vasectomy reversal kit waiting for me at home
Sure, loaded with knitting needles and cat gut
More dog clothing breakdown
I actually heard from your mom that
"The veins are so close in her feet the blood would freeze her heart"
Goodwill has been picking up
My new passion is China
I just got bit by something
My trained earwigs are doing my bidding

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Tags: Webkinz The Secret china patterns conjugal visits earwigs

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 07, 2007

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 09:48:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-12-07.mp3
Show: #443
Length: 34:47
Size: 23.9mb
Format: mp3

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It's Tell a Friend Friday!
Get out there and tell somebody about the show
Leave those comments on the posts
I'm going to commission something for you for Christmas, Kris
A bronze statue?
No, a paint by numbers
There has to be a service online like that
My paint by number would be one number
Yeah, with a bucket of porcelain white paint
Your improv classes are coming to an end
Sure I got one more to go
All anxious about this job stuff
You are like a woman this way, Kris
Your puffy cuffedness blasting
My beard was all jacked up
I needed a trim
The website can't see the fact you shouldn't
No shaving it off
I do enough repulsive crap in my day
I set you up with a barber for a beard trim
It wasn't a regular barber, it was mans man barber
So anyway I went to improv
It was great, I gave up the scene
He said, you intimidate me
The stay at home intimidator
I thought should I go with Kris to the man spa
Is Kris going to end up getting a happy ending massage?
Funny you should say that, I did get a free massage
I roll in right on time
They ask me my name
He had the pencil line goatee
That weird etched on looking beard thing
Kind of like a Backstreet boys
Head back to the lounge
What do you mean?
The cigar lounge in the back
Leather couches, flat screen TV
This woman walks in
She a masseuse
Would you like a free massage?
Sure
I don't any cash, I know this isn't free
Yeah, you gotta tip
Don't you have to get out to your job at The Buckle?
Yes, I also have a degree from there
You gotta be on the inside to tell a certain type of joke
I am on this inside
She was kneeding you dough and commenting that you were buff?
That is why I was laughing so so hard
I'm slumped in front of a computer all day
My muscles are dough
It was the sales pitch
I didn't take my shirt off
This was an 'over the clotheser'
Is that on the board?
I'll take an, a . . . over the clotheser
I meet the barber
When I say that I don't have time for a shave
The barber tells me that he can't just trim my beard
Without the shave he won't do it
I felt like I was in a Larry David episode
I had to argue with this man for 10 minutes to get in the chair
"It's all about chair time"
I'm in a really big hurry
I will pay you for the chair time
No, no you won't
I tell him that I am leaving
He says, come on back, I'll do it
"But you don't understand that I don't just do dis. I do dis."
I told him that knew he was an artist but I just need a trim
It all went down horribly
I can't even show people how bad my goatee looks
Oh, it sucks
Yeah, you look really bad Mr B
It's like my bad perm but on your face
Betsy thanks Markx again for the stuff
Especially, Thrift Score Zines
Marie Down South, the thrifty stripper
Tell your friends about the show . . . it's Friday!!!

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Tags: Thrift Score beard trim masseuse Backstreet Boys Marie Down South