garbage can | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 19 Ep 11: Walzer A., Buffalo Days, The Coffee Drinker

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:51:22 -0500

Croncast - 2008-02-01.mp3
Show: #457
Length: 26:13
Size: 18.1mb
Format: mp3

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The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

About the Wednesday show
We were recording and the phone was ringing off the hook
Call from Walzer A
So this is Wednesday's show
Yeah, it was your sister calling
Brother-in-law lost his job
And the three mother hens showed up at his house
I did not envy him at all
It is getting more and more crowded in this boat
Your mom told you that you need to take care of this
I couldn't think of a more depressing situation
I wouldn't have come home
I would have went out at 8 am and got a beer
Where? This isn't Milwaukee
I would have waited that shit out
You are telling me that I am a born leader
I was telling myself that I glad you all weren't here
This is how it goes down in my dysfunctional family
My entire life I have had to be the man
What?
You shoveled in the middle in a snow storm
You can't even tell you shoveled
Doing it repeatedly doesn't make sense
At 4:30 am our neighbor fired up his snow blower
Ridiculous
Some men wake up with motivation, Kris
What would you do if it were a chainsaw?
Then he started cutting down trees
Well, hell he was motivated
Oh, baby
I tossed pup pup in a snowbank
What for?
To send to the TV station
Are you serious?
Well, I did send it
The auto response email was "Thanks for sending to KABC 7 Los Angeles"
Your snowy dog will be on in LA
You dogs suck
Jorge would be restricted to humane society
Ass end up in a garbage can
That is what we should have called the Resale Queen show
Yesterday, I almost slipped and died
Good things that dumpsters are heavy
How come they don't shovel by them?
I am going to open Dumpster Land
A theme park for you and your people
The dangers that you face everyday
It can't be packing peanuts
There is no Calvin pissing on nothing
What stickers would the truck have?
Did the new trucks ever roll out to La Moille?
I though i shouldn't ask because it would be sad
There was a time that they did come out
No one can tie a knot in this town
Ending up in the county jail
Swanson's baby
Onions in the peas
They came to town for Buffalo Days
The quaint small town festivals in movies, lies
There's no tax base to support that
Basketball game in a gravel pit
I grew up across from a buffalo pasture
Did you ride buffalo instead of ponies?
Did they chain them to a claw foot tub to slow them down?
From kindergarten to graduation at 14
Let me run the tilt-a-whirl
I would be right there
Ending up with a corn cob in his bibs
Might be dangerous but in a small town that's fun
Being pulled on sled behind cars
Watching the console in a lawn chair
I have sat in the back of a Chevy and bounced across fields
We didn't do donuts in a Wal Mart parking lot
It was a small town
Ok, K-Mart
That would have been a 30 mile commute
I know you rode in the back of a pickup truck on the way to a K-Mart
Yes, I did
CB radios in those days, figuring out who the coffee drinker was
Your mom would have a handle

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: buffalo snowy dog LaMoille Resale Queen sledding

Robowagon - Volvo V70 falling apart again

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 20:09:03 -0400

The Volvo is holding up in true Slowsky curse fashion.

I bumped the mirror with a garbage can and the back of it came flying off.

Could someone please remind me why the dealership and Volvo of North America wouldn't help us out again with this disaster on wheels? Oh yeah, I said that we didn't want another Volvo and they said it's your problem not ours.

Buy not another Volvo I will.

Tags: Volvo of Lisle volvo north america Volvo v70 2006 V70 ford escort wagon

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 02, 2007

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 07:46:22 -0400

Croncast - 2007-04-02.mp3
Show: #344
Length: 39:56
Size: 27.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 2, 2007

It's good to be back!
Thanks to everyone who sent messages and comments
Four weeks of not being told you're fabulous has taken it's toll on Betsy
It's a thankless job being a house wife
Betsy really needs the show, she just won't admit it
I do like success Mr. B I just don't like to work very hard
iTunes users leave us a review in the iTunes music store
I've never been stuck on one thing
Yes, I was well rounded
I still have the sharp shins
The family knows me as the idea guy
But I stick to it like peanut butter
I am like that crazy inventor guy
The creepy guy who's in his garage all the time?
I have been waiting for this
Head first into break and I was excited
But Bears, you did nothing around the house
This will be a turning point in our marriage . . . Kris will start participating
Winter brings garbage
The sky opens and beer cans fall
Kris's sliding man pants while he works
Getting that backside tan
Can you turn around and lift your shirt
You'll have a pregnancy like slider to measure the tan for a man who does things
I get less sunshine now that I am working from home
And I've started losing weight
I have . . . like it is panic
Your Weight Watcherness of the last 4 weeks are putting the screws to me
My face is saggy . . . my tummy is jubbly
You'll have lost 6 or 7 ounces
Packing it in before was the truth
I am going to end up with a post-pregnancy belly
Watch yourself big boy
You never asked me to do anything on break other than bring in the garbage can
What if I buy you a ladder?
I'm done I cede the floor to you Betsy, now tell the Volvo story
Tidal wave in the car
Zeus was nowhere to be found
She calls me, "I was driving in my car . . . "
The way I don't ever want to hear Betsy start that way
I know that I am going to end up back at Volvo of Lisle
Yes, I was correct
We hit'em up to try to get it taken care of
The gist of it is that we are screwed
"You should call customer care and start there."
"Work your way up"
Reputation management matters but auto dealers don't care
This is a fluke but the Volvo reputation for a consumer begins at the dealership
They are the ones that should care
Once it is repaired Betsy asked for a price for them to buy it outright
Big mistake
Once she told them no new Volvo that she would buy a new car from another dealer it was over
Sure it is all soccer moms around here but it doesn't matter
Now we'll keep it til the warranty runs out unless something so bad happens that they will actually take responsibility for the car being a lemon
I never leave the house now
Which brings me to my point . . . I am going to sell your car Mr. B
You can't sell my car, baby
The farthest I went from the house in the last week alone was 35 feet
Talking taxes on Wednesday . . . strikingly vivid
We thank everybody for the emails, comments and the calls
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Tags: Croncast Weight Watcherness croncast returns Volvo of Lisle reputation management

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 14, 2006

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 06:06:01 -0400

Croncast - 2006-07-14.mp3

Show: #249
Length: 26:11
Size: 18.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 14, 2006

Hey guys, something happened half way through the show where Betsy's mic got a bit quieter. Just thought I would let you know.

The 13th won't be over fast enough
Kris runs out of air
Hell horrible weird ass day
Betsy is starting to sound like Kris
That is what I get for podcasting my life
Listen to my karma
Betsy, "Will you water my flowers and take out my garbage whille you're gone"
Betsy feels it is her duty
Leaving for my Goodwill run
I should bring in the can but I have Maggie
I will bring it in in the morning
Well now the garbage can is now MIA
Overdoses of Doans
The expensive garbage can . . . or cart as they are known
The racket of their sale by the city
Jahunka dunk
Funny ans scary all at the same time
Betsy's friend Abby's husband Ted is now listening
Why did you even have to ask, buy them a new can
Betsy owes the lawn boy $60
What are you going to do for me? Go make some more money
Selling the stuff on eBay
Slowsky could turn a good day into a nightmare
You told me but I thought you were dumb
Sweet vinyl around dead TV
Betsy's sister is going to push this kid out any minute
Seeking medical treatment around Betsy is a sign of weakness
Baby was born 9 months ago and now Betsy is forcing her sister to give birth on her kitchen table
Hey Sean, thanks for the donation
Betsy says she is CFO whic stands for cutting me off

Tags: 13 Slowsky neighbors garbage can baby

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 72

Fri, 06 May 2005 09:20:43 -0400

Croncast - 2005-05-06.mp3

Show: #113
Length: 45:15
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 20.7 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 72

Today's show makes up for all the short shows this week. We recorded early in the morning because it is Betsy's Mom's birthday today and they were going to do nothing else but . . . go to garage sales and Goodwill. I think Goodwill needs to start kicking in a little sumthin sumthin for all the play we give them. Maybe not always positive on my behalf but atleast we can spell it right.

We discuss why Betsy enjoys conservative radio; well not enjoys it but gets fired up, sermon radio for neighbor humpers, the reference section in the Bible, miracle water on Comedy Central, Benny Hinn, the contest entries, Elliot peeing in the garbage can a few nights ago, bottom swatting.

Betsy feels like a total loser! She invited a mommy to her church the first time she talked to her. She feels really bad like she's an evangelist for the Universalist Unitarians. She really does. She called me once it happened and it was really funny for me.

We also talk about the "no sperm from gay men ban" by the FDA and the demotion of Army Reserve Brig. Gen. Janis Karpinski to Colonel thanks to a military judge not hanging Lynndie England out to dry for the Abu Ghraib business, Kris's asymmetrical bald spots on his head "looks like you flew headlong into flypaper and tore yourself loose", what Betsy has learned from Drag Queens, the epilady spring loaded hair ripper outer and how Betsy got revenge in 6th grade against all the other girls who picked on her.

Goodwill Goody Contest Continues - Ends Monday!

1) Send an email to betsy@croncast.com with the word "Contest" in the subject line
2) Write a couple sentence bio about yourself
3) Betsy will print out all names and put them in a cookie jar
4) She will pick one name
5) Grand Prize - Betsy will be your personal Goodwill shopper. She will interpret your bio and buy you an appropriate gift for Goodwill value up to $9.99 (You could end up with a waterbed or car at that price) and ship it to your home or business.

Tags: betsy goodwill croncast contest kris