goodwill | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Look out South, here we come (Atlanta or bust)

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 08:56:06 -0500

Me, Betsy and the Goodwill Wagon are headed to Atalanta on a road trip next weekend. We're having a meetup on Saturday June 28, from 12 pm - 2 pm at Manuel's Tavern - http://www.manuelstavern.com/.

This joint was picked by friend and local Atlantan, @timshifted.

We're looking forward to a couple of days in A-town and would like to meet you if you have the time. Come on out and get a drink and some bbq with us!

Tags: Manuel's Tavern Atlanta timshifted Croncast road trip

Season 20 Ep 20: Photos, Old Shuffling Posse, Professional Tic

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:25:15 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-06.mp3
Show: #495
Length: 30:25
Size: 20.9 mb
Format: mp3

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Oh, the 2008
Comments on the photos
I'm a what?
You're a good amateur photo taker, Bears
I never made it to the sweetest Goodwill in the world
When was that?
San Francisco, it just wasn't meant to be
Look at you all up on the Oprah stuff
I got my eye on those celebrities
I knew today was going to be a great day
Because the Lutherans were having a sale
Garage Sales are euphemisms for "Party on the Driveway"
You were benevolent enough to babysit
It is either a ghost or an alien in front of me
You should be so lucky
Space Ghost!
You can convince me of anything
I got to the sale kind of late
The guy from the furniture tent comes out an yells
That we can hop into a new line that is shorter
I was torn
They can have stuff in multiple questions
I think you will reach a point, your peak of sales skills
We should freeze dry you at that point
Then revive you in the future when the dollar is strong
It will be like a time machine
Betsy, you bring it
The dollar is still strong with the Lutherans
Double check the luggage later
I stand in line to wait for the dishes
I need my fine china fix in their housewares sections
I brought bags and I have adrenaline flowing in my limbs
Oh, look, Christopher Stewart
This is when I started to look like a nut
Started?
Slow shuffling old posse arrived
Those match my dishes
I love those
Are you going to buy those?
I am now just to spite you
You wasted my time with your story
They're rookies baby
You are con-garagies
They send the 12 year old anemic boy to help me carry stuff
She's now a professional tic
She went and bought speakers from Farm and Fleet
I love it, speakers from Farm and Fleet
I am sure you are related to people that duck taped their heads That is the truth
Duck taping down his pants
Especially when fired up the chainsaw
The tape suit
Class issues really stand in your way Mr. B
"Transvestite's getaway car ran over good Samaritan's foot"
Words make the world magnificent

Tags: Space Ghost Farm and Fleet speakers Lutheran sale Naperville

Season 20 Ep 18: You know, you don't have to call her your friend anymore.

Wed, 28 May 2008 12:43:20 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-28.mp3
Show: #493
Length: 28:21
Size: 19.5 mb
Format: mp3

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Good grief we are back
Thanks to Betsy for showing back up
You come back from San Francisco wearing my clothes
Up sidles a Wrangler wearing Milwaukee chick
She's checking me out
Of course she is
"So what are you doing in San Francisco?"
"I'm here with my friend."
"You don't have to call her your friend anymore."
The spandex blend is alive and well
You can look at Iowa from behind and know it's Iowa
The smell of Dubuque jumps off
The hills and the highway
I drive better than those taxi drivers
Don't look forward
You check carry on bags?
Yes, need to keep her creams and powders
The vacation schedule
The romantic cruise
We just wanted crab
The Russians followed me from Goodwill
Our waiter wanted to argue
Today, today it is my first day
Crab comes with nothing?
No one comes between Jeanie and her side salad
Dungeness crab is a mud spider
She called me a hot mess in Cantonese
We end up at a tea shop in China town
White hippie chick running it
In sweeps hippie number one
She's totally a trust fund baby
Character after character after character
You can make tea from anything
Why didn't you stop and ask a homeless person?
I didn't realize you were green with dots . . . what the hell do you have?
Mr B, this is my town though
I knew it once I stepped off the plane

Tags: San Francisco Tea House dungeness crab wrangler pants

Season 20 Ep 15: Dumpster Golf, Penny Drop, Fancy Hood

Mon, 12 May 2008 13:54:32 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-12.mp3
Show: #490
Length: 19.6
Size: 28:32 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy likes the amens to her sermons
Now they can tell me to mow my lawn
We are way more boring than the show
The picture in her head of you was repulsive
Good thing she didn't see a real picture
I despise this time of year the most
Why?
The grass grows
I hate the mowing
Pulling back that shade for bits of sunlights
I am the Boo Radley of the neighborhood
I have been honing my skills without you
Something new to the Resale Queen toolbox
Not the Billy Squire stroke
A body bag full of bubble wrap
A body bag?
I tried to do a Penny Drop
That was for those of you that too kindergarten gymnastics
Tetanus shot for junking license
I had to have the bubble wrap
So I went to Goodwill
Fast like a bunny
I bought a Titleist
Golf club
We playing gold today mommy?
Yes, Maggie, dumpster golf
Your Titleist for dumpster diving
Your like a gorilla in the mist
Your people were the strain that hung on the jungle floor
Mine were smarter and more motivated
Now, I bring home the bananas
It's all about who brings home the bacon
I am forever grateful that you make enough for me to dig in a dumpster
We found your wife, sir.
Behind what store?
It could be worse, I could be a scrap booker
It is a services
I'm not going to mess with these women
They are serious
Treating things better
Betsy flattens a tire on my car
I'm driving slow on your rim
You were right next to the car dealership
Why didn't you just go there?
You used to recruit truck drivers, you talk to him
Sorry to be so vaginal
I just gave up
Why is he trying to change the tire?
Does he know how to change a tire?
Yeah, that's a lot of money for a fancy hood
They say that to a lot of women who get labia surgery too

Tags: Titleist gold club the bacon penny drop gymnastics

Season 20 Ep 11: Eyeless dolls, Bolex at Goodwill, How did you know?

Fri, 02 May 2008 11:20:55 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-02.mp3
Show: #486
Length: 31:00
Size: 21.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Short show notes, sorry
The greatest goodwill find of all time
Sure it is
So was the Kirby vacuum
It's a Bolex Video Camera
Spooky stuff on this show
"How did you know?"
I can see you there with two hand fulls of dirt
What about the eyeless dolls?

Tags: Bolex video camera Kirby Vacuum eyeless dolls spooky

Season 20 Ep 10: Transvestite Mennonite, MC Hammer, Baby Spiders

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:58:26 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-30.mp3
Show: #485
Length: 28:03
Size: 19.8 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

I pulled a muscle in my back
My spider bites
It's a back wall injury
Like in the Mist
Where the privileged people are
At the Intercontinental hotel
I ordered my drink
You need to try it
Jaegermeister and Bailey's?
It makes me want to cover my ears
How much do they charge for that?
It depends
The bartender appeared to be a Stanford math major
How much do you want?
Top it off on the rocks, half Jaeger and half Bailey's
Well, we pour in ounces
I don't care what pour, just fill it up
When have you counted
You are an asshole
I'm not an asshole
How many ounces would you like?
What kind of question is that?
I would have turned you into a zombie
Was $30 a drink
Puffy Cuffs to a whole new level
She had already poured them
A mixer usually has small amount of alcohol
They should charge normally
I need to carry my own stuff
Buy a mixer full of ice to mix my own
You pay for the atmosphere
But most have to leave early to get to a meeting
$30 bucks a drink you better get some atmosphere
Turns out MC Hammer was hanging in the lobby
I missed it
I was three feet from him
He looked nothing like I would have expected
Taller than I thought
They have small man complex and work harder
Shaped like a potato these days
He would have showed all of his potato parts
He has an internet startup
It's like youtube but with dance videos
There's a new character on the scene at Goodwill
Who is it?
I don't know his/her name
What?
It is a Transvestite Mennonite
I had awkward pause seeking gender
I blanked
I needed to know boy or girl to return communication
You should do a back bend

Tags: MC Hammer the mist transvestite mennonite spider bite jaegermeister and bailey's

Season 20 Ep 8: Husband in the Bubble, Carbon Dioxide Vampires, Nock

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:14:07 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-21.mp3
Show: #483
Length: 38:15
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

One day to Earth Day
Elliot has been telling me about the poor suffering pandas for ten days
He was telling me the acid rain was burning the pandas
Which was causing them not to have babies
He asked me if I knew what trees were
He's so much like his mom
He says, "Trees are carbon dioxide vampires"
I told him that would be a great band name
He didn't get it
Two worlds collided
You bought this badminton set at Goodwill
At a garage sale
Well, it came from out of the house
Husband in a bubble
Whatever you had taught him was wrong
Proper badminton form
Let me show you
What? What you learned at La Moille badminton school?
I can't believe you tried to describe this
What the hell are you talking about?
Your boy cannot do overheard
Oh, baby
I won't even listen to you and your un-athletic skills
It's good he's not you, Kris
He just doesn't get it as I am trying to help him
You're a like a lion in the grass
Look at that birdie fly
He can't hit it back and forth
I wanted to work with him
And you wonder why he doesn't want to play with you
You are a weird nerd jock hybrid
You're a NOCK
He'll have flash backs
Badminton is where business gets done
Watching his badminton future crumbles before my eyes
Don't send the hate mail
I get it
I need to engage with him on another level
He's going through a growth spurt
He's 7 asking if the weather is changing
Sensitive to barometric pressure
Taking the kids to lunch
Ted's Montana Grill
Ted's Buffalo Hut
There is nothing more environmentally friendly than buffalo farming
What are you saying? Twice as much methane
Maggie is all about it
Elliot looks at Ted's Bison Hut
Looks left and says, I just want Subway
"I won't get a bag of chips with my burger"
Wanted to do something a bit special
He says, "Dad, I don't like fancy. I like Goodwill and Subway."
Half the time he is working on bits
What's 10 minus 8?
I think you owe me $2, Mom
I get to the foreclosure/divorce house
Ring the door bell
The laundry basket was longaberger
It was like you designed the house
There was a beautiful chandelier in his bathroom
He wanted $1,800 for it
Then he says, "I paid $23,000 for it."
They make excellent copies of this at Menards
Then, Mr B, there it was
I became the sucker
Do you like the table?
It happens
How much do you want for the table?
Well . . .
I paid $12,000 for it
This is a garage sale
The table turned to fire when he told $2,300
Can you grab me something out of that crystal wine in the box holder
It was so McMansion
It was like he was trying to get on Cribs and it didn't work out
Same outfit as yesterday
Because he is single now

Tags: Longaberger suffering pandas acid rain Ted's Montana Grill McMansion

Season 20 Ep 6: Yesterday was tax day?

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 19:03:01 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-16.mp3
Show: #481
Length: 25:10
Size: 17.3 mb
Format: mp3

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Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2007 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Sorry for the late show . . . long day. Now I gotta put the kids to bed.

Enjoy the show!

Updated show notes
I think the people know what year it is
I am your enabler, Kris
Your workaholism is what i enable
The day after tax day
Didn't you see me freaking out?
Not really . . . you kept saying we have to file an extension
Taxes should be due on a Friday
Not a Tuesday
It should be a floating holiday?
Yes
This is the first year in 3 years we don't owe the IRS any money
I will never understand the IRS ever
Co-owner of a company that lost quite a bit of money
Listen, Rush Limbaugh
How can my company lose money and the feds give me money back?
The tax code is crazy
The other fabulous thing today
It felt like a tele-novela
I got to Goodwill and they were throwing someone out
It was the first time ever
He is the reason we can't pick off carts
I walked up to the china
It was sparkling at me
Get the order and buy service for 12
$20 a plate and $12 for the salad plates
Well, you weren't tossed out
Who would be pulling in as I leave?
Another Replacements.com seller
When did this lady show up?
She is a new Goodwill character
I thought this was just the Russian chick
No, she is diminutive
You're a junk consultant
I can tell you when I am 13

Tags: iphone att Betsy Smith Croncast Kris Smith

We leave

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:56:00 -0500

goodwill over. now we can go back to radio silence for a bit.

obsessively photo tweeting is my goodwill coping mechanism.

Tags: goodwill photo tweeting mechanism obsessively

Season 19 Ep 23: Omniscient Nerd, Void Your Warranty, Ferocity

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:42:29 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-21.mp3
Show: #470
Length: 15:41
Size: 10.8mb
Format: mp3

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We keeps it short today
Maggie is sick with croup and flu with fever
It's one half of a show
So I was at Goodwill
What story you tell doesn't start this way?
My pockets were loaded
I don't trust my purse
You shouldn't
We haven't told the story of your purse being stolen yet?
Nope
Another day
Not to be disgusting
Sure
I had to go to the bathroom and leave my cart outside the door
I pulled up my pants with ferocity
As soon as I left my pockets felt lighter
Oh, Baby
I go back in and my cell phone is in the toilet
Multi-use public toilet
I had to decide which hand to stick into the toilet
Baby, I gotta tell ya
You should have just left it
Goodwill urine water would do it
You could have sold it with your personal information
What are they going to steal? Your skype number?
This person could use more friends
Lists of potential friends
I love the idea
How much is a list of friends from a cell phone found in a toilet at Goodwill?
You're right
Kris, I need you to get me a new phone
I want a penny phone
Cheap flip phone?
Cell phones say a lot about people
It's like getting out of prison and wearing the same clothes from 20 years ago
I want a phone that I can dial and drive
If you hit the shift key you can dial numbers
It isn't a smart phone
They call that insurance fraud
I gotta hit the red dot
Sure, if you crack the head open you will void the warranty
It's funny you say that
Two months ago I had brain surgery
I felt like I was an inch tall
Omniscient nerd

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: smart phone Verizon voided warranty Omniscient nerd

Season 19 Ep 20: Stage Mommy, Tight Wrangler's, Your people

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 09:58:54 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-27.mp3
Show: #466
Length: 26:35
Size: 18.3mb
Format: mp3

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You look business like today, Kris
Are you kidding me?
Are you looking at me or did you lose eyesight?
You can't say the you actually left the house
Not once did I leave the house in the last 1 1/2 since I started working at home to work
Sure I traveled and did work but when it was time to work I was at home
Every time that that I go to a Caribou or a Starbucks
There are always
Maybe they think what you and I do is ridiculous
You have tons of passion
Your new routine is to work until 1 a.m.
I watched The Wire on demand
I've been working 14 hour days baby
Spending lots of time at 6 am with our son
He's got a great creative mind
Betsy, you are becoming a stage mommy
You are
The vicariousness of you actions is evident
You should just be outside with him
I was never interested as a kid
Yeah, but now you are
He doesn't have any fear about talking to people
Bursting into song in the McDonald's restroom can be embarrassing
He's got bad coordination like you
You need two mirrors to even see your hair
Why are there no Goodwill scores lately
Clean out their whatever?
I am waiting for grandmothers to die so their kids can donate her china
Baby, I don't know about your business plans
They all involve death
Like what?
Uh, Murder McMansions?
Oh, yeah
It is a good thing I don't have a ton of insurance
It's a good that that lottery winner in Georgia was a woman
If her husband had won he would have left her
Do you fear that?
The debt reduction plan
Having some drinks with Mike Marusin
Join Twitter!
Kris - http://twitter.com/croncast
Betsy - http://twitter.com/resalequeen
The Guinness Girls were there?
Yes
Did they have muffin tops?
No
Then they were girls
You don't make enough for me to get my boobs fixed
Then you could get a Guinness girl job
I could do apple bottom jeans for cowboys
Most farm girls with tight jeans got that weird butt
How do they get that?
From riding horses
Strong butt and thighs
At the FFA convention the Wyoming female contingent could crush cars
What are you plans for after 500 shows?

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: Wranglers Guinness FFA stage mother funny accent

Art Glass Shade

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 13:56:56 -0600

I like light quite a bit. So much so I took this photo this morning.

Betsy picked up the art glass shade above at Goodwill over the weekend for $.50.

It looks great in the kitchen and it fit the IKEA light fixture perfectly.

I need to ask her if she was talking to the Secret for that to happen. Because I highly doubt the original company was thinking about Swedish designed Chinese manufactured suburban light fixtures.

Tags: art glass light shade art folk art

Season 19 Ep 14: International Player, Un-Unitarian, Faded Duds

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 10:43:31 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-08.mp3
Show: #460
Length: 31:41
Size: 21.8mb
Format: mp3

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Here we are for 2008 02 08
If you were an international player such as myself
What do you do internationally?
Podast internationally three times a week
You are an exporter baby
The air mattress can hold more money
Less filler
Thesises theses who knows . . .someone does
Mixed intro with Betsy
Comments about Kris's CB handle
I didn't have one
I was never in to it
You mean you were never allowed
Your CB would have been made of a Fisher-Price record player
It wasn't bad to the bone
When the bullet hits the bone
Different that what you think
It's a Friday . . . we gotta keep things loose
You are doing a live improv show
How do you do a "non-live" improv show?
I see, but you have to be spontaneous
You're gonna be prissy
The guy who likes to flip over chairs
You are manic
So are your people
Yeah, but you are predictable too
What do you do?
Kid who talks so much
I am bothered already
It's just stupid
No enough
I do hate improv
Ninety five percent of it is bad
Five percent is good
I don't like sitting through it to catch the good stuff
If it were tv I would change the channel
What is your next step?
I can't do it I'm 32
The younger people can do it
We'd be opening strip shows
He takes off his coat and he has my shirt on
I flipped out
But why?
How un-unitarian is it of you
To challenge your child on the gender specificity of his clothes
You should have worried more that it was your shirt
The first person that owned that messed up
The lady who bought it at Goodwill was out of their minds
Everybody gives me a hard time about my clothes
No one else gets it baby
Your 1998 pants need to be destroyed
Your stove pipe pants hearken back to grunge days
They have been sitting at Goodwill for 10 years
You rescued them from the slow ship to Africa
Those pants sang to you
I wash, dry and they fit like a glove
You are irrationally afraid of sharks and feet
Tromping around in the snow
That is the bummer part
You put on yesterday's pants
If they have yesterday's salt ring on them
That is a total bummer
I hate the midwest
I just don't care, Kris
If you won't let your kid wear it
You shouldn't wear it either
I don't consider what Elliot would look like in it
We've come a long way since we moved into the suburbs
I have been assimilated and so have you
I am not talking politics with you
People will realize that Obama has Jesus shooting out of his eyes
Let me give you a hint, baby, you are the only one who sees Jesus Check out the For Whatever Reason Podcast Produced by friend of the show Tim Alexander

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: record player Tim Alexander CB Handle 1998 pants For Whatever Reason