grinder | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Burning down the house

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 21:32:14 -0600

Betsy found this gem from last summer on the laptop tonight.

Some of you might remember when my mother-in-law set the grill ablaze last summer and my first instinct was to put it out with a sea salt grinder.

Advice: keep that fire extinguisher close or get a really big sea salt grinder.

Tags: salt sea grinder summer big

Bukowski is smiling in his grave

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 10:52:11 -0500

According to iTunes I have listened the Grinderman album 40 times. I think I'm finally starting to figure it out. Or maybe not. It's a story, maybe a movie. Forty more times and I might have a better answer.

Regardless, the best line ever uttered over the top of a screaming guitar and pounding piano comes from Get It On . . . "he drank panther piss and fucked the girls you're probably married to". That is art.

It makes me think about all the machismo of the 70's cock rock (which I am well versed in thanks to small town roots) . . . Rober Plant might have thought about it and Ronnie James Dio might have actually done it but they never said it quite like this. Lovely.

Tags: Grinderman Nick Cave best lyric ever Ronnie Jame Dio 70's cock rock

Hella code day

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 21:59:08 -0500

I spent the bulk of my free time today knocking out code on the site.

Things were just clicking today for some reason and I couldn't let it go. I think it is easier than ever to get to all the content in the site.

Maybe it's the Grinderman?

comments RSS feed and respective page
cleaned up all feeds and urls to make them more human readable - for example www.croncast.com/all.rss instead of www.croncast.com/feedbuffet/all/feed.php
setting feeds that are indexed by search engines to redirect to the internal Croncast search page if they are clicked from google, yahoo, aol and others (this is a big deal since many of the people clicking these links have no clue what rss is especially porno seekers. example page 3 of these google results search for "spice channel" resullt 21 is a keyword feed . . . copy the url and add it to your reader and it works no problem, click it and it will take you to the same results as the feed but only at the website, nice)
added the unique feed to the internal search results for those who have been referred by a search engine
added the unique feed to the internal search results for regular users button looks like this - example Kris Smith
created new includes for blog, podcast, news and all content archives so they can plug and play on any page
re-ordered the navigation
created a two new archive pages - one for navigation of all content with pseudo categories and the other as a master archive of shows by month
edited internal search results page to recognize when referrer is a search engine to display a message that explains what Croncast
added another adwords box to the search results after item 7 in the returned results
tons of other mundane stuff for tracking keyword feeds and referrers

Up for tomorrow

new rss page
moderated media rss (mmrss) creation tool, for listeners (it's going to be sick)
new contact page
new "people say" section for listeners to leave reviews
new db table to hold mobile browsers to redirect for rss

Tags: croncast mmRSS rss archives keyword rss feed rss seo rss redirect

Get it on with Grinderman

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 13:35:35 -0500

Got a referral from Anti this morning for an interview that I did with Jolie Holland . . . I checked to make sure the link was still relevant and the album art for Grinderman got my attention.

Being an eMusic user and Anti fan meant that it was time to pay a visit and sample Grinderman. Did so, dug it and downloaded the album.

Grinderman is a Nick Cave project full of filth. I love it. Loud, distorted, poignant for old men, ridiculous noise that makes me yearn for a new Tom Waits album. I've never been in to Nick Cave but when an musician makes something with this much energy and art they've got me as a fan. It reminds me of Morphine but a harder edge and a touch of free-from jazz.

Tags: Anti Jolie Holland Grinderman Tom Waits Morphine Anti artists

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 29, 2007

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 07:14:36 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-29.mp3

Show: #332
Length: 39:16
Size: 26.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 29, 2007

He is a golden . . . retriever . . . he brings stuff back
Zeus cannot be tricked
The noise distracts me
Genius like this takes concentration
We missed Friday's show
Kris felt depressed for a bit
It was his fault
It was a good nerd outing (spot a Kris) that was a success I talked to someone new
TECH cocktail is evolving
"My mother is in cancer treatment," attendee. Kris, podcast laugh follows
She was 4'11 and dressed like a flapper
Is she trying to start a scene
"Flappers" the movie to come
Betsy is going to continue to yawn through this
Baby, the time is right to talk about this
Once of these days I am just going to put a meat grinder on the desk
Betsy just push push push
Man, it is hard to talk about this . . . for Betsy now
I'm just gonna do it
Here's the back story
"You're going to be publicly humiliated"
1994 back in our dorm room, underage drinking and all the sudden . . .

To get the rest of this story you're gonna have to listen.

This story starts at 6:10.

Tags: Golden Retriever Volvo of Lisle Jeanie Bowen Goodwill Husband Zeus podcast laugh

Croncast listeners are priceless

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 09:08:34 -0500

As usual, you guys are sending in the best stuff. I spend more time per day laughing at what you send in than I do laughing at myself . . . that is hard to do, especially with Betsy laughing at me too.

So here's the funny for today. This was sent in by Lachie:

Suspect BBQ from Goodwill = $100.
Lite Mad Cow Steaks = $30.
Kris trying to put out a raging inferno with a salt grinder.priceless.

If you missed this show or haven't caught up yet it is episode #268 from August 28th.

Tags: Priceless MasterCard PayPass laughing Lachie

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 28, 2006

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 06:31:08 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-28.mp3

Show: #268
Length: 34:22
Size: 23.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 28, 2006

Oh there is a new sound in town
Betsy is grumping about having to breath
The light glaring off your head is burning my retinas and making me sleepy
The evolution in razors
You would have been a wooly monster
The terminal point of beard growing
I don't know my terminal length
The fifth blade removes the top layer of skin
The worst mother dig of all time from Betsy
Lips doth did part
Today has been a crazy day
I told the man it was a weird day
Kris missed saving a family of 4 that drove into a lake somehow
It is a fake lake to supply a subdivision waterfall
Kris sort of saw it happen
With CopmUSA closing I was preoccupied
I hear the sounds from the accident and agray flash through the neighbors houses
I was looking the wrong way when we drove by, didn't think of the lake
Well, I didn't hear them screaming . . . they were drowning
As they are gasping their lasts breaths pressed against the window
Betsy says I'm cold
Kris did save the family
When homeless get a Costco card to eat samples to sustain
Betys goes off and buys $30 in steaks
Usually it is mad cow in a tube
So Barb adds the seasoning, turns on grill, to clean it turns it on high and then has a martini
Grill is now set to high
20 minutes goes by and she heads out to put steaks
Opens the door and uses panic voice
"You have to tell Kris to come right away . . . well, theres a fire. Thank you," then closes the door
Betsy rouses me from the basement with the work "Fire"
Stay in the basement because it's safe even though there is a fire
The Goodwill grill is now in full flame burning off all the grease from the trap
The charred chunky collector flaming and the top are ball of flames and black smoke
Kris asks for the baking soda
I asked for fire extinguisher right now . . . Betsy threw it out
Betsy says it didn't look good and didn't match
Any fire extinguisher is better than none
Betsy hands me the Morton Salt instead of the Trader Joe's sea salt grinder
Saved by neighbor Jack and his fire extinguisher
As soon as hose melts to tank I am going to die in an explosion
With 911 on call waiting my mother-in-law clicks over to Vicky
He saved our house . . . he saved Croncast
Betsy finally finds our extinguisher in the garage
Finally doused it in water to cool it down to turn off the gas
The grill cleaned up ok but I don't think we'll ever use it again
Then Kris was swarmed by bees
It will go straight to my brain
Betsy gets in more about her steaks
If I had saved other family I still would be filling out reports and my family would have died
Message to you: Go out and buy some fire extinguishers to keep at home.
We talk about the end of our week last . . . podcasting production
The stress level has gone way down thanks to Palegroove the cause of the stress
Wanting podcast contracts to happen
It is a really big project that will be a ton of fun
Writing down your goals can make a huge difference in your life
Many people think podcasts cost $100 to produce . . . not even close with your own equipment
Kris is speaking at the Portable Media Expo and then I'll fill in the podcasting bits
3 Croncast T's are on the table for production
PhilipZ is holding it down with Handle Moxie

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: Goodwill grill Costco meat Portable Media Expo fire extinguisher