hands | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 21 Ep 23: The Mexico Part 2

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:55:13 -0500

Croncast - 2009-03-25.mp3
Show: #523
Length: 33:08
Size: 30.4 mb
Format: mp3

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Introducing our driver, Rueben
Pronounced Rue - been
You'll understand why shortly
We're on the homepage in iTunes podcast store
In the parenting category
You're the whip cream
I am the pie to your whip cream
Does that mean we are getting divorced?
Rueben has discussing the directions that the Montana girls gave him
Nervous like Mom telling me, "Let's go to TJ to buy school supplies"
Sterling silver bangles
Hurling off into the middle of nowhere
The jungle begins flying by
Look at that, it's great
Is it abandoned?
Right, just like central Illinois
Look at you, getting all metric
Jungle was 20 km away
Fine, how about 20 clicks?
Betsy gets scared and starts talking
The Montana girls want you shut up
Actually, it was Erasure
Luggage in my lap
Moobs are getting damp
Rueben rolled up all the windows the moment we got in
4 adult Americans and one Mexican adult
Our bodies use more energy, seriously
They throw the old road next to the new road
You might need a chunk later
It'll have the rebar in it right away
Betsy asked to see the girls' directions
Oh my, God
"OK, like this is going to be so great. Take a left I don't know where, crappy town and it has a number 4."
Betsy's rendition of this is priceless, you have to listen
Around the crappy town, around and around
Forty minutes later we're still circling the town
Weaponry was at full blaze in plenty of places
Security is tight at Goodwill but not like this
Rueben speaks three words of English - yes, no and maybe
And he doesn't know what either of them mean
Don't fly to a foreign country without the address of where you are going
If I were on this trip with Jeanie
No Mrs. and Mrs. Montana it would have been safe!
The highlight of my trip was passing the local airport
I think it's called . . .
Rueben whips around, "Nooooooooooooooooo"
We were 20 clicks from were we supposed to be in the opposite direction
He hands the directions to the armed guard
We find the joint
The girls tip him like $1.50 USD
Rueben peels out in reverse
We hit our heads on the back window
But we arrived in one piece
Colonialism is alive and well
You can't tell me that you didn't breath a sigh of relief
Happy to be alive and I need a burger
The next four days became a huge pain in the ass
Look at these awful white people and their destruction of paradise
While, asking me to rub aloe on my back

Tags: Mexico Vacation Dreams Tulum Rueben the montanas colonialism

stickers in hands of usps - via twitter

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 08:34:39 -0500

for those of you now set to represent, your sticker was put in the box last night! awesomeness to follow

Tags: croncast

Season 19 Ep 19: The Mr. B's, Conspiracy, School Stories

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:38:19 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-25.mp3
Show: #465
Length: 33:15
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

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I'm busy, I got things to do Mr B
No replacements.com did not sponsor the last Resale Queen
Avenue for Revenue
You should use that your service
The road to cash is paved with stoneware
The cartoon, thank you
It's not funny
I don't need to take look or a photo
It's like you are Mooney
The 1980's kerfuffle
How often do you ask yourself, "who owns the building I am in?"
Are you going to play cops and robbers in the afterlife?
They have diversified in weaponry
Designed and patented his own handguns
I don't know any of them
You are crazy
Are you a Moonie Kris?
I am way undercover
Betsy volunteers weekly for Elliot's art class
It isn't volunteer anymore I am requested
Even as an adult I am afraid of the principal
Now they will punish my child
You have issues
What?
He touched another girl inappropriately
What happened?
The only job of a principle is to make sure school district doesn't get sued
That could be true
The whole "gun" hands on the playground
That's true
What happens at the private school?
I went to a Christian school for first grade
No way!
Let me remind you I skipped a grade
How could I forget
He kept guns in his office

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: iPod kerfuffle racoons christian school sheep barn

Season 19 Ep 15: KGB Training, Easy Women, The Long Haul

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 13:07:51 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-11.mp3
Show: #461
Length: 33:28
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Pick post any post
Tell me what kind of man I am
What kind of dirty man
What kind of wife walks around slovenly
You've fixed it
You look like Theo on The Cosby Show
The shirt is crazy
Right and I love it
My mom bought it from home shopping network
It is designed for a pin
It looks like a bank secretary
When these comments come in
Yeah, they come from new listeners
Do you remember the Lincoln?
Having to slide out of it shotgun style
It was always falling apart
Passing money out the door at McDonald's because window is broken
There was a lot of tension in the house early on
Years worth of tension
But the shows got better
Our lives got better
I am surprised anyone listened
I love you but my friend hates you guys
You gotta work with me people
We've gotten a lot better at telling stories
We like to deliver a good show
Hence, the word 'show'
I don't sparkle when I move
On that tip, we've been cranking out the Resale Queen
Catch up now
It's a show about topics
Not nothingness
Buy it used on eBay NIP
My improv show this week
This is your big shot
A career option
Some might call me gifted
I don't know who those people are
At a party with Betsy
She shares this all the time, "yes, I skipped a grade"
That is one of the first things people tell you
Technically what we are doing here is illegal
No money changed hands
Thank for easy women
I wouldn't have been married if it weren't for easy women
You wouldn't have been born if it weren't for easy women
There is a woman at the class who REALLY likes me
She tried to undress me during a scene
Does it make you feel good?
So we got Bar Louie and now this woman
What are you learning at improv?
First rule is to be supportive
Second is don't undress anybody
Maybe it is you
Are you sending the vibe?
No, no, no, no, noooooooo
She pulled my shirt up in front of a room of people
Audience was like ewww
Nobody wants to see my baby tummy
It looks like I was attacked by a bear
80 members?
That is not a home owner's association
I respectfully decline to go down this road
I battled with the Russian chick again
Shopping with the kids is like having a wild raccoon duct taped to your back
You get to see everyone's ankle bracelets
She took my plates
It's her KGB training
You crossed the line and should have never done it

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: Homer Simpson Bar Louie Russian women Resale Queen wild raccoon

Interactive Widgets for Apple TV?

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 14:41:50 -0600

How about "Take 2" first?Steve Jobs shouldn't have announced the update for Apple TV a few weeks ago.

Now this?

With Apple being such a highly regarded brand and master of message, it is hard to believe that they would keep slipping like this with Apple TV. Especially, if they plan on developing more applications for the system.

It wouldn't hurt with this product to deliver on time to keep positive buzz going. Any positive buzz around Apple TV would be great.

What's the hold up?

My guess is that it is licensing agreements for content from the studios and networks. I could be wrong but when it comes to code or content (which is out of Apple's hands), content wins as the reason for delay.

Tags: Apple TV Vudu Take 2 interactive widgets iptv

TechCrunch40 in 60 seconds - a belated tale

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 11:33:28 -0600

Remember TechCrunch40 from a few months back? I do.

Some of you have lived it through my eyes as I recounted the story on the show and others of you at parties. This 60 seconds I will never relive again but I knew it was magical moment. Consider it Parable 2.0.

Scene: I am in the lower level bathroom of the Palace Hotel brushing my teeth. It is silent for twenty seconds. Silence is broken by a guy leaving a stall. I have no idea he was in there. I see his badge in the mirror, Demo Pit badge. He walks right out. Didn't wash his hands. Note to self - wtf, that is gross he is going to be shaking hands all day. I'll live.

Ten seconds later another stall door opens and out walks another guy with a Demo Pit badge. He walks up to the mirror. Begins running fingers through hair. Finishes and walks out of the bathroom. Doesn't wash his hands. I am completely grossed out.

I am finishing up brushing my teeth. Ten seconds later in walks a VC (one that we all know) and he comes over to the sink. He makes small talk while washing his hands. Walks away to use facilities.

Twenty seconds after my thoughts are complete. The lesson that has been taught to me is clear:

A Demo Pit guy will rub his hands in his butt and shake your hand, but a VC will wash his hands before he touches his junk.

Tags: Purell Parable 2.0 Demo Pit TechCrunch40

Gross.

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 19:04:05 -0600

This mess, or call it a sign not to use this restroom, was waiting for us when we entered. Being me and having a child who's 'got to go' required entry and usage of the facilities.

Fastest I have ever used a restroom, ever. Ddn't let Elliot touch a thing or wash his hands. It seemed right given the state of affairs.

Keeping Purell in Betsy's purse was never a better idea.

Tags: restroom given state seemed hands

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 08:58:34 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-12.mp3
Show: #421
Length: 30:19
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Tell a Friend Friday!
Tell'em all about it
This is a rocking show . . . starts slow, Betsy is sick, but fires up
Thanks Mexico Mike/Susan, seriously?
Proxy commenters need not hide
User your real information
I know who it is, Bears
Who?
You mom
She got a WebTV
Through a proxy
My perfect job would be the skipper on a boat
The skipper of a sailboat
So, I went and bought a Jamocha shake from Arby's
Now I want to throw up
Speaking of Goodwill . . . Mike and Liz just had a baby today!!!
Congratulations to the Marusin's and Poppy Ann
Wait until you get your Goodwill gift
No way Kris, I will them something nice . . . like a store display
Going to Ben Franklin to get some paint
Unless a blind person comes and runs their fingers over it no one will know
We are really talking about a $160 present
We should get them something new
Yeah, Kris, we will get them some diapers
You need not to nerd out on strollers, explain
Why don't they call it the platform stroller?
You can sit or stand . . .let's call it the platform stroller
Special place for them to hold on
They always want to stand in the cart
What kind of vitamin deficiency makes your skin fall off?
I mean like peel on your hands
One year of hands down the pants
Baby!
That is all about moisture, Kris
Maybe you need to get sick more often
Improv round two started last night for Betsy
Not just the core group, time to move on
Betsy and her ego
I love, love this class
Yeah, it is controlled psychosis
You are nuts
The crazier the people the better
Crazy people find each other
Giving off the crazy vibe
You find out later you have it in common
Kicking it at Bar Louie with my posse
I can't believe you are still going back
Of course I am
You don't want to profit from my sexual harassment?
This is your joint now . . . your cheers
They listen to the show now
My mom paid children to teach me to ride a bike
I don't know if I ever told you this before, Kris
Told me what?
I was born dead
What?
I was blue and not breathing
That explains a lot
What else you hiding from me?
Object work in improv
They reply to me . . . "It's not a radio show"
Well, let them come in and try this
That's right . . . dead air bitch
When is it a good time to bring up being born dead?
I don't know.
Who are you? Where is my wife that was born alive?
The doctor left with a blue baby
Came back with a pink baby
Don't go to Arby's and buy a Jomacha shake

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Tags: Jamocha shake Poppy Ann Marusin Goodwill improv psychosis Bar Louie

Smartphone absurdity, I want just one

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 12:23:33 -0500

I didn't realize how absurd this smartphone crap was until the day before yesterday. We have a potential client using Blackberries as podcast players. Which was no big deal since I worked on a solution a few years ago at my day job but I needed to get the same version as the client. Hence a new radiation hot spot for my palm.

Now in the house:

1 Treo 700 (mine, Verizon)
1 xv6700 (Betsy, Verizon)
1 iPhone (work, AT&T)
1 Blackberry 8703e (work, Sprint)

Two of them are for work, like I marked them above, but it is ridiculous. They all do like one thing better than the others, one carrier's plan is better priced or the network makes all the difference. What do I mean?

Best sounding as a phone:
1. Treo
2. iPhone
3. Blackberry
4. xv6700 (horrible)

Ease of use as a phone:
1. iPhone (my mother-in-law could use it)
2. Treo
3. Blackberry
4. xv6700 (need 3 hands to make a call)

Ease of use overall:
1. iPhone
2. Blackberry
3. Treo
4. xv6700

Best OS:
1. xv6700 (windows mobile 5.0, too bad everything else about it sucks)
2. iPhone
3. Treo
4. Blackberry

Best media playback:
1. iPhone (wonder why?)
2. xv6700
3. Treo
4. Blackberry

Best keypad:
1. Blackberry (update: thanks Garrick for pointing out I misspelled it the first time -LOL)
2. Treo
3. xv6700
4. iPhone (it's pretty . . . hard to use quickly)

Best sms device:
1. Treo
2. Blackberry
3. xv6700
4. iPhone

Best email device:
1. Blackberry
2. Treo (would be third if AT&T edge were faster)
3. iPhone (on wifi this is second)
4. xv6700

Best web device (network):
1. Treo (doubles as EV-DO modem, love it)
2. xv6700 (doubles as EV-DO modem, never used it)
3. iPhone
4. Blackberry (locked into a special start page, blah and doubles as EVDO modem but Sprint rates are insane)

Best web device (wifi):
1. iPhone (experience much like real browsing
2. xv6700 (fast but reformats pages)
The other two are AWOL with no wifi capability

Best camera:
1. iPhone
2. Treo
3. xv6700
Blackberry is without

Best network:
1. Verizon
2. Sprint
3. AT&T

Best overall:
1. iPhone
2. Treo
3. Blackberry
4. xv6700

Taking all of this into consideration and my experience with all four operating systems and form factors, I have decided that my ultimate phone and carrier combo would look something like this:

An iPhone on Verizon's network, use as EV-DO modem, with an add on keypad and GPS onboard. That would get an 'ooh la la' and an amen.

Tags: iPhone xv6700 Treo 700 Blackberry 8703e Verizon EVDO Sprint GPS

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 09:59:37 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-27.mp3
Show: #390
Length: 32:29
Size: 22.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 27, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

It's been a while since we've done a show
The worst part is I can't tell anyone the story
It will ruin the show
We have to tell everyone we'll tell you later
I did see some of the photos baby
Jeanie and I laughed
Don't start there Bears
This is not the typical Croncast, Kris and Betsy story
Sure I have been supplanted by Jeanie
Mr B would have done this anyway
Do you want to tell your story?
Can I give you some hints to telling a story
We are going to start our story from the very beginning
Jeanie rolls up to my house
We have to go to my sister's kids party
My mom and my dad in the same building, stress
The last time was like 10 years since they were in same room
I had nightmares about how bad this trip was going to be
Epiphany was to dope them out with DVD's
Misgivings? Why? Last year was not enough?
So I strap in the DVD player and monitors
We surprise the kids with it
Strap in the kids and pull away
The power adapter pops in, out, in, out
Elliot,"It's on, It's off. It's on. It's off."
With a former truck driver by your side I shouldn't have been worried
Jeanie took a class in map reading
"Betsy, where is the map?"
"I don't have one."
Simply a print out from mapquest
With the kids I figured it out
Take the group home approach, catch them being good
What does Maggie get?
Green dry erase markers
45 minutes later Jeanie says you've got look at Maggie
The scariest site ever
Maggie colored herself green and put chocolate in her hair
She was laughing maniacally
"I funny. I funny."
So we pull over at a truck stop
I walk in with Gigi
Everyone stops, turns and stares at us
She had lifted her dress and colored all the way to her diaper
That woman is totally talking to Betsy
Dry erase markers come off very easy
Where are you at this point?
Western Illinois
Jeanie wanted to hit the world's largest truck stop
Betsy, "Didn't you listen to last year's vacation show?"
Another thing that we learned last year was to get a hotel room
Jeanie was rolling up in the driveway when you booked it
You didn't remember it
Kris, shut up, this is my show
No map Betsy doesn't know where she is
Elliot and Maggie hit the hotel and want to sleep with mama
Elliot has had it and is ready to sleep in the car
Little Kris was in the backseat complaining
Now he reads numbers he made sure to point out we were speeding
I don't recommend the Super 8 in Lincoln, Nebraska
Isn't there something in Lincoln like a university
Jeanie brings the good trip karma with her
The scary omens of the open road
I had apologized to Jeanie
You have got to heed the signs
Every mile marker was a Slowsky moment
I was amazed that we rolled into Denver/Boulder area
The kids have started to melt down
Hey, you've won another Pokeman card
Jeanie, can I have another car
Honey, Mommy is going 90 mph you need to sit still
They waited until we were in traffic to act up
Every parent knows that you kids don't need anything from you until you are merging onto the interstate
We were behind a Prius
It had a blue hair in it, double whammy
Did the exhaust smell like broccoli or cooked carrots?
When you ride with Betsy you are junk coordinator
Fast food dumped in your lap and Betsy sipping on her diet coke
Give me that grilled chicken bitch
I know you, Booba
Speeder! I won't get in to it
Kris has speeding story to tell
My great Denver court room story
We have been here for 12 minutes into the immaculate clean house where we are staying kids flip out
So we leave the house
Where did you go?
Pearl Street
Do you want to stand on a clogged street in 88 degree heat with hippies
Elliot's hippie story, guy's sign said, "need money for a shirt," but I watched him take off his shirt and stick it under a rock
Sounds like Pearl Street to me
Henry is putting up a mark on the chalkboard right now
I know who your favorite hippie is
Jeanie called Evan to tell him that they were going to see the hippies
"My ship has sunk. I need cash"
I told you it was the pirate
Very herbal
They're all playing guitars and wait for you
No judgment, eh Kris?
Pete the pirate
You could start a fish stick line with his name for $6
I have to stand there and tell my son that this stuff is normal
We saw Goth grandma
She doesn't care anymore
You get passed 70 and start tripping on your titties
The point of this story that children work on 15 minute cycles
Jeanie sees the
Here's the reason the hippies bother me
They are balanced out by smug trust fund babies
Betsy, "I only pan handled once. That is a story for another day."
The next day when you came home from San Francisco I made sure we got home right away
Elliot saves family in the mountains
Give him a hard time, you can't mess with the man
We stopped someplace in between
The place where you buy gas in a bucket
We roll into Rocky Mountain National Park
The kids are watching Scoobie Doo at full blast
We are excited about a fox with dead animals in its mouth
Elliot, "Shush, there is a boy named Elliot in this episode"
Momma, I just saw a squid
Momma, I just saw an alligator
Not even close to being in a forest
It's not funny when you are their mother
He got it from a book you bought him
A book about future animals 10,000 years from now with illustrations
I forgot my cell phone
That is what I do Mr. B
So we start going up the mountain
Jeanie is gripping the OSHA car handle
The blood vessels are popping out from between her fingers
She has gone pale
Maggie, "no up. No up. No up."
Betsy talks Jeanie down
Look I'm driving with no hands
Maggie's sense is I'm strapped in
Shut up guys, Scoobie is on
Wrap the show . . . coming back down the mountain
Maybe a little Elk Mountain Resort, Valhalla on Monday, Wednesday

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
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Tags: portable DVD Pearl Street Jeanie Bowen summer vaction 2007 Elk Mountain Resort

Buy your tickets now! Croncast Live - Naperville

Fri, 18 May 2007 09:11:08 -0500

Ok people, we are set. You can now buy tickets to our first live show.

The show will be on Sunday, July 8th 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm at The Comedy Shrine in Naperville, IL.

If you need more information or are coming from out of town and need hotel information call Kris at (630) 303-9065.

This is what I wrote up for a description:

Join us for the first ever Croncast Live!

If you think that we're funny on the show come and get a first hand look at Betsy rolling her eyes during the intro, waving her hands wildly and all my Mr B moves.

Doing a "live" show, "live" meaning in front of people other than the My Size Barbie's and Goodwill prizes is something that we've wanted to do for a while and we want you to be at The Comedy Shrine with us.

Betsy and I are thinking of calling this the Suburban Bliss Tour . . . well, maybe I am, but regardless we are set for night of dairy snake, moob and other Croncastisms.

Pacific Northwesters, don't forget we'll be doing a Seattle show in August! More on that show soon.

Tags: croncast live show The Comedy Shrine Naperville Croncast Live tickets

Podcast Academy 5 this week

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 09:26:56 -0600

This is a follow up to a previous post but timely, Podcast Academy 5 is on for next week at Duke University.

"The conference will highlight academic applications of podcasting, targeting both beginners and experts in the field. We'll focus on both pedagogical and technical considerations, and provide hands-on training as well as best-practice and student showcases."

I'll be presenting "Understanding Authentication and Personalized RSS Feeds" during Session 3, the "Nuts and Bolts" sessions, at 11 a.m. on the 15th. The registration fee for both days of the event including hands on training with members of Duke's Digital Media Solutions team is $149. Not too steep for a Podcast Academy like this.

Tags: Podcast Academy 5 Podcast Academy Duke University podcast Kris Smith Understanding Authentication and Personalized RSS Feeds

Netgear SPH101 my worst tech purchase ever

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 09:02:37 -0600

Lachie asked and he shall receive a few days late, but now is better than never.

Three weeks ago, or so, I posted about the Skype phone research that I had done. All completed with the intent to purchase a Skype phone that wouldn't let me down. My general needs were a. that it had a speaker phone for hands free without headset and b. that Skype was embedded on the handset so that I could use the phone without Skype running on my computer.

I found two phones that met my need pretty quickly, the Netgear SPH101 and the Belkin Wifi phone. They had Skype in the handset, had speaker phones and had the added ability of connecting to the internet via Wifi. Sweet!

I didn't take this process lightly because I needed something that would work right out of the box. I read all the reviews I could find. Most negative ones I chalked up to the writer being a newb or not understanding the technology they had purchased and not savvy enough overcome some missing instructions or outdated drivers.

Not heeding this great free advice, because "I know better", I bought the Netgear SPH101. I was stoked. And after using it for 6 hours I was pissed. Here's what was (is) wrong with this thing:

1. The phone has a USB port that only works for powering up the phone
2. The version of Skype on the phone can only be updated via Wifi
3. Update must be run via PC to the IP address of the phone through a proprietary application, not via USB
4. Without the update the legacy version of Skype on the phone causes errors with Skype on your PC when both are running
5. No chat support (I knew this when purchasing but didn't realize what a drag it is without it)
6. The quality would have been better with tin cans
7. Speaker phone dropped 1/3 of other side of conversation

I spent nearly 2 days trying to get the phone working. I pinged it's internal IP, yup it had connection and didn't drop a packet, but when you ran the update through Netgear's software I would get an error telling me that I had the wrong IP. Huh? Your software told me the IP and my router has it listed and I'm pinging the shit out of it.

It was at this point that I broke down and called Netgear's support line. I never call tech support. But this time it was a must because some super nerd made this phone with capabilities that only someone at a call center in India could understand. If this is true I will never know. The three times that I called and waited on hold in excess of 45 minutes each time I was allowed the luxury of leaving a voice mail.

Take this nerd's words of advice and walk quickly away from this phone. Don't even let it's little white cuteness into your gaze because this little siren will wreck your ship. That is your nerd pirate ship of tech conquests. I spit on the Netgear SPH101.

Tags: Netgear SPH101 SPH101 SPH 101 nerd pirate ship tech conquests Belkin Wifi phone

Skype phone

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 09:26:54 -0600

It has come to my attention after five hours of research and visiting retail stores (which would make my search about 8 hours) that the internet and retailers are slacking. The internet is resting on it's global ass scattering reviews to the winds and retailers seem to be basking in the orange glow of Vonage. That is except Fry's (my favorite place to nerd out) which seems to be basking in plastic rubbermaid bins full of returned open boxed VoIP handsets and Taiwanese trinket USB phones.

That brings me to the point of even writing this, imparting a bit of what I have learned so that the internet will seem less slovenly when you search for Skype phones.

There are a two varieties of Skype phones:

1) Computer needed to make calls
2) Computer not needed to make calls (which I would prefer)

And the rest shakes out from their like this:

Computer needed to make calls
1) USB
2) USB to wireless handset
3) USB dual mode (dual mode is code for connects to your regular phone line too)

Computer not needed to make calls
1) WiFi handsets
2) Ethernet (connects to your router via cable)
3) Dual mode with ethernet (think Cisco iPhone)

The best place to start your search for a Skype phone is Amazon. They have a pretty comprehensive selection and with user reviews from nerds and those less tech savvy who have used the gear.

After that hit Google and search for the phones you're interested in and pay attention to blog posts since most are personal reviews of the phone This phase of the research is where I was able to begin to narrow my choices based on my desire to not have to use my computer to make a call.

Right now I am interested in:
Netgear SPH101 - WiFi and has speakerphone capability
Belkin WiFi - WiFi
Polycom C100S USB
Philips VoIP841 (not for sale yet)

Once I make up my mind I'll do a review.

Tags: Philips VoIP841 Netgear SPH101 Polycom C100S USB VoIP handset

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 10, 2007

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 06:43:35 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-10.mp3

Show: #325
Length: 31:27
Size: 21.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 10, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Tara Rester.
What is this new thing staring me in the face
It's a horse for American Girl Dolls
Not made by American Girl but by Battat
More stuff about American Girl vs. Battat that passes Kris right by
More big blue stuff
The dolphin got shipped off to Alabama
Yeah, because they don't know that dolphins aren't blue
Betsy's secret birthday wish didn't come true
She wants a picture of Mr. Handsome (Zeus, the dog)
Two pictures under that corrugated clear plastic where you move and the picture moves
You know the ruuu ruuu ruuu stuff under your finger nails
Out of the ether Betsy's hero called . . . Ben the handy man
I love him in the way that any woman loves a man that can fix things
Bears, you're just lazy
It's my birthday, get your ass over here . . . that's great
The handy man technique of quote then never show back up or call
Once they are kicked out of the next county they come back
They can't take Betsy's personality
It is her wit and intimidation
Maybe I did make you sound like an asshole for tearing a whole in my shower
What was he thinking with duct-tape and a Jewel bag
Sharing a bathroom for a month with your mother-in-law
Duct-tape in my own shower . . . you bet
Then my husband tells me no on speaker phone
Living in Milwaukee
Crazy guy asking the police if they masturbate
Betsy says, "I could live in Milwaukee forever"
Oh, I am never going to Menards with you again Betsy
Blame the mommies they have gas too
Send Betsy a Blue Mountain card at thesmithmall@hotmail.com
She's 31

Tags: Tara Rester American Girl Dolls Battat horse duct tape shower Betsy Smith

Played Wii, grown man, sore body, hardly type

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 00:45:01 -0600

Mike did us up at Rick's tonight and we had the equivalent of a man Tupperware party. The Nintendo Wii is a hit even with old men.

I never thought that I would dig a video game system this much. If Mike were selling them (which I recommend to anyone who can get there hands on a couple) to us he could have sold 3 of them cause I know Henry would have bought one too.

I won't be the only nerd sore in the morning from swinging the controller around. My arms are dead from the boxing game . . . turns out I got some boxing juice that won't quit.

Update: Shots from our Wii party last night in the KlauManPit. My Mii player,

Tags: Wii Nintendo Wii Wii games Wii boxing Wii Naperville

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 27, 2006

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 07:50:15 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-27.mp3

Show: #306
Length: 36:06
Size: 24.8 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 27, 2006

Here with the two things that must happen: draining water and my American baby
Equating 'Christian' to all Christians including the scientists and the evangelicals
Betsy was interviewed by the Christian Science Monitor
Coming off the pseudo holiday vacation
The big plate
My Fiestaware is full
Betsy sort of regrets doing the CSM interview
"I wasn't quoted that accurately"
Yes you were
The demand and filling it . . . pimps could use the same line of reasoning
Betsy is not the evil resale queen of eBay
This is what they said about you
"Smith probably won't be one of the big spenders"
That will be on tombstone
It was true . . . but it made me sound like . . .
The toy experts think that is is stupid
Betsy says the same thing except she'll still sell you one
Kris thinks it was a window into Betsy
I'll suggest an article about workaholic daddies
"My life is tough"
In the trenches with 6 year old
Hanging with family on the holiday
Are they bating me or is this a real topic?
Your parents knew . . . just chose to ignore it
The destination Grizzly Jack's
Betsy wants the pool to open at 6 am without lifeguards
"Chubb rub down the water slide" all night
The ultimate buy your kid a popsicles and a beer for yourself
Wisconsin right here in Illinois
The greatest Italian beef sandwich of all time
Waiting in a restaurant with 3 babies and a toddler
"It's good cause it's spicy"
Baby, that was hot Oscar Meyer beef processed in a factory
You may die tomorrow but just eat it
Was I as a kid it tasted different
Kris was 19 before he ever had Chinese
It's the same stuff you eat everyday, just chopped up smaller
Betsy has to bring up my mom, thanks
The Little Tikes Activity Garden that was sold out from underneath Gigi
Yes, yes . . . please leave now
There's two things at work here
Betsy's humor out of context with her body language and affect missing she comes off harsh
Kris isn't sure that he knows that person
Betsy says that Kris is shoving Betsy into fame two hands on her fanny
"Why don't you just let me dumpster dive and raise your children. That's all I want to do."
Weekend discoveries
We saw The Black Keys Saturday night
It's not the same song
A man singing about himself and his peanut butter sandwich
Kris goes deep
Betsy nominates Kris to be neighborhood Santa
Kris takes it personally
Betsy, "I thought you had the body type for it."

Tags: Fiestaware Christian Science Monitor Grizzly Jack's Grand Bear Resort Peru Pizza House The Black Keys

Beck's Saturday Night Live performance video

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 09:14:13 -0600

I stumbled across an mpg version of Beck's Saturday Night Live gig right before the Thanksgiving. Before I could link up to it I thought that I would hit Beck's site . . . and sure enough the video from both performances was there for viewing. And . . . the mpg that I had seen was a screen capture from the site.

So instead of linking of to a lower quality version of an already low quality encoding of the video here are the directions:

a. go to www.beck.com
b. get your mouse to top left and drop down boom box and stop audio
c. go back left and get the menu to slide open
d. click the "video" button
d. click the "SNL Oct 2006" button
e. choose your speed

Tags: Beck SNL Beck Saturday Night live Beck Clap Hands SNL Saturday Night Live

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 10, 2006

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 06:31:58 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-10.mp3

Show: #300
Length: 39:19
Size: 27.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 10, 2006

That's it, the contest she's over. We've hit the 300 show mark and have winners that we drew this morning . . .

New listener winner - Matt Kavgian
Handle winner - Tom Simpson

Both of you guys will be receiving an email from me later this morning to ask what color iPod you would like. However, if you see or hear this first drop me an email and tell me what color you want.

Betsy and I want to thank all of you for listening to the show! Some of you have been listening for two years(a little something in the show for you around the 4:15 mark), some of you who are new and to all of those somewhere in between, thanks for having us over.

Show notes:

We give the iPods away
Betsy gets right into why it is just us on the show
No Betsy's dad he's got he flu
Not a good week for Gary
This is the way it should be . . . me and Booba
Is it too much pressure to be on the show?
Would Betsy ask the hard hitting 60 minutes questions
Why did we do the announcement at the beginning?
Betsy hung out with a listener today . . . Tara
Our family thinks continually that all of our listeners must be crazy
Bagels and the playground
There are normal people that listen to the show too
How did she find us? Message board
People talking about us online
Goggle and technorati ego searches
The Google searches that we get - "How to Show p*$#y to Husband"
My guess from the search is Russian mail order bride
The reason for all the hits is that we have over 549 items listed in the site
"folicular" is also been popular we're still number one at Google
I think Robin Klau coined dairysnake. . . .let me see
"Hey, so whatever happened to Slowsky?"
Poor Slowsky, Betsy wants to go see Slowsky
Kris says that Slowsky is gone
Betsy has a new passion that must be quenched . . . it has to do with QVC
She is going to call and see about purchasiing returns to sell on eBay
Amvets sweet old lady changes her tone when asked about sales
The semi will be here soon to fill our house . . . I know you Betsy
Not loving the hustle
The multiple home handsets for phone
What is the deal with the phone again . . . "checking line for trouble"
We talk about the last two years and reminisce about nearly destroying our marriage
On Monday we'll talk about the show and our plans
Outro is a little more for the long time listeners

Tags: Google 300 300th Show Matt Kavgian Tom Simpson

Saturday Night Live and Beck

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 16:56:11 -0600

Nearly a week ago on Saturday Night Live Beck and his mates put on two great mini shows. A show in this case consists of singer, musicians, dinner table, puppets and a nylon string guitar. Now, the video of the performance was removed from YouTube but you can check out a version of it from a German television show sans puppets.

Tags: Beck SNL Beck Saturday Night Live Beck Clap hands video Beck video

Sony VGN-AR230G - aka Resale Queen laptop

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 14:54:01 -0500

After this glowing post, it's time to give an update on our new Sony VGN-AR230G.

The Resale Queen isn't having it. She can't stand it. Initially she was stoked that I bought some nerd gear for her but can't get passed the mouse pad selecting items when you type. The way the laptop is designed makes it nearly impossible to rest your hands on it and type without bumping the pad and selecting other items in a post or page.

And if you need the laptop to write blog posts while in your living room watching your kids . . . let's just say he hates the laptop more than her sister buying a Dooney and Bourke bag that she can't afford at Goodwill.

But here's the deal . . . for daddy this laptop stays. It has enough power and speed that I can leave the basement to work on large audio and video files without a problem. I've never seen a laptop perform like this one, ever. It might even help me soak up some non-artificial light - that would be called "natural", right?

Tags: Resale Queen Sony VGN-AR230G VGN-AR230G Croncast laptop

Routing synapses: Portable Media Expo thoughts

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 10:46:55 -0500

It has taken me nearly a week to find some time to sit down and write about this year's Portable Media Expo. My brain takes so long to process situations that when you stack about 200 new situations right on top of one another my synapses begin to flutter a bit like a dancer dropping it likes it's hot. If you missed that analogy just turn on MTV and watch any rap video to see things dropping and gyrating.

So as this stuff has shaken out in my thought process I keep seeing the faces of those I shared some words and grub with . . . Nicole Simon, Garrick Van Buren, Greg Cangialosi, Mark Chernesky, Rick Klau, Eric Olson, Paul Figgiani (Paul got a hug), Tim Bourquin, Scott Fletcher, David Lawrence, Frank Barnako, Holland Cooke, Giovanni Gullacci, John and Erin Paxton and Craig Patchett (he told us not to drive Slowsky).

On the social side there was Evo and Sheila, Dave Slusher for 3 mintues on the way to his seesion (I think the best session of the Expo) . . . damn, that is the end. I should have hung out more!

New train of thought, thinking of my sessions I wanted to thank everyone who attended especially the 40 or so people who showed up for the one on Saturday at the Portable Media Expo. There I met some great people with podcast consulting and production motivations like myself. It was fun to share how you too can loose a client like MTV Networks and how you can gain a client like Alltel and produce for NFL players.

The take aways from the Expo are varied for me. It was a great time to meet and hangout with other podcasters and listeners (Tom Davies you rock). The meet-upability of the Expo is hands down the biggest reason for attending if you have been podcasting for some time. If you are new to the community then I would guess that the Expo was probably extremely overwhelming as the sessions popped off and the social component took hold.

I can't say that I was really disappointed by things but did have some low moments:

1) Pink spandex at the Marriott and the wood inside
2) Being told repeatedly that no one in podcasting is making any money (Ahem, because you're not doesn't mean that others aren't)
3) Rehashing the same discussions that have been going on since the beginning

Now that I have my memories in some semblance of real activity and spared you the personal details of many of those interactions I want to say thank you to Tim, Emile and the PME staff for producing this event and allowing podcasters to be themselves . . . pink spandex shorts and all.

Tags: Portable media Expo PME pink spandex Alltel

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 28, 2006

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 06:31:08 -0500

Croncast - 2006-08-28.mp3

Show: #268
Length: 34:22
Size: 23.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris August 28, 2006

Oh there is a new sound in town
Betsy is grumping about having to breath
The light glaring off your head is burning my retinas and making me sleepy
The evolution in razors
You would have been a wooly monster
The terminal point of beard growing
I don't know my terminal length
The fifth blade removes the top layer of skin
The worst mother dig of all time from Betsy
Lips doth did part
Today has been a crazy day
I told the man it was a weird day
Kris missed saving a family of 4 that drove into a lake somehow
It is a fake lake to supply a subdivision waterfall
Kris sort of saw it happen
With CopmUSA closing I was preoccupied
I hear the sounds from the accident and agray flash through the neighbors houses
I was looking the wrong way when we drove by, didn't think of the lake
Well, I didn't hear them screaming . . . they were drowning
As they are gasping their lasts breaths pressed against the window
Betsy says I'm cold
Kris did save the family
When homeless get a Costco card to eat samples to sustain
Betys goes off and buys $30 in steaks
Usually it is mad cow in a tube
So Barb adds the seasoning, turns on grill, to clean it turns it on high and then has a martini
Grill is now set to high
20 minutes goes by and she heads out to put steaks
Opens the door and uses panic voice
"You have to tell Kris to come right away . . . well, theres a fire. Thank you," then closes the door
Betsy rouses me from the basement with the work "Fire"
Stay in the basement because it's safe even though there is a fire
The Goodwill grill is now in full flame burning off all the grease from the trap
The charred chunky collector flaming and the top are ball of flames and black smoke
Kris asks for the baking soda
I asked for fire extinguisher right now . . . Betsy threw it out
Betsy says it didn't look good and didn't match
Any fire extinguisher is better than none
Betsy hands me the Morton Salt instead of the Trader Joe's sea salt grinder
Saved by neighbor Jack and his fire extinguisher
As soon as hose melts to tank I am going to die in an explosion
With 911 on call waiting my mother-in-law clicks over to Vicky
He saved our house . . . he saved Croncast
Betsy finally finds our extinguisher in the garage
Finally doused it in water to cool it down to turn off the gas
The grill cleaned up ok but I don't think we'll ever use it again
Then Kris was swarmed by bees
It will go straight to my brain
Betsy gets in more about her steaks
If I had saved other family I still would be filling out reports and my family would have died
Message to you: Go out and buy some fire extinguishers to keep at home.
We talk about the end of our week last . . . podcasting production
The stress level has gone way down thanks to Palegroove the cause of the stress
Wanting podcast contracts to happen
It is a really big project that will be a ton of fun
Writing down your goals can make a huge difference in your life
Many people think podcasts cost $100 to produce . . . not even close with your own equipment
Kris is speaking at the Portable Media Expo and then I'll fill in the podcasting bits
3 Croncast T's are on the table for production
PhilipZ is holding it down with Handle Moxie

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: Goodwill grill Costco meat Portable Media Expo fire extinguisher

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 07:06:20 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-24.mp3

Show: #253
Length: 35:30
Size: 24.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 24, 2006

Vickie, Betsy's sister for the new listeners, finally went into 'real' labor last night at 3 a.m.. She was staying here so most of the family is at the hospital except for me, Elliot and Gigi. Being on baby patrol makes it kind of hard to put up a post. The show notes are coming.

Betsy and I are fighting, best friend style
She wants me to move out and take my stuff
I want to take an iron ans steam her to death
Kris is up in Betsy's business
Her eBay finances are a mess
Kris doesn't like being bossed
Betsy agreed to send email to potential clients . . . nothing . . . phone call . . . nope
They get crazy when they see you on the phone
I don't need Betsy as a corporate rep
Where is all of Betsy's eBay money going?
We talked about it today
Betsy made $900 this week and is -$30
Say what!?!?
She tells me why this is better than putting it on credit
She wants me to apologize
Betsy comes to her senses and says, "Kris, you have a small point."
She hands over her Pay Pal card to me so she can't spend
Lifestyle of the rich and Slowsky
Slowsky is a thirsty bitch!
Higher gas prices, higher fill-up in Slowsky thanks to WW III
Worse gas mileage than a hummer
The Gucci cash is all gone
Functioning out of a hole
She says she is going to purge most of her eBay horde
Stipulation on the card is giving Betsy cash in small amounts
Betsy is no longer CFO of Palegroove since she is handing over her personal financial reigns to me
Just wash my Legos
Cleaning Betsy's junk with Magic Erasers
Kris feels violated, Betsy wants to push me up the corporate ladder with a golf club hanging out of my behind
Kris took a gold lesson, Natural Golf, thanks to Henry for hook-up
Knowing you . . . where are the golf clubs?
It would be better to have a $900 gold club
I still can say I have never officially played golf
Turns out I am really good at hitting the ball straight
The Natrual Golf way worked for me
Test question . . . "Do you like George Bush now?"
Betsy goes on a socialworker rant
How many poor people spend $300 going to Yellow Stone from their McDonalds job?
Betsy says she has realized her calling
Trader Joes is that calling, they are her people
Finding Wooly the Watermellon for candy
If I leave Vickie will crown
Betsy gave me persmission to attend the Jaguar 2007 XK test drive event
I drove a black coupe (see pics below)
Thanks to Laura and John for their help
I recorded most of the day
The car is in my blood
"I don't give a rat's ass. I am not getting anything out of your blood."
Driving the XK took me way back to my dad's speed fetish
I shouldn't have been looking at that man like that
I could cheat on my wife. That takes too much effort . . . I'll buy a Jaguar XK
It is a mid-life crisis car not a car for a 32 year man
We'll have nothing left to show for podcasting work but a bankruptcy and a hot car

Some pics from my weekend fun.

Tags: Jaguar XK 2007 XK Palegroove golf Pay Pal Magic Eraser Kris Smith