hits | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

jelly rats? que paso ikea?

Fri, 09 May 2008 18:40:28 -0400

one delicious sounding snack! mmmm . . . jelly rats.

nothing hits the spot like jelly rats.

Season 19 Ep 14: International Player, Un-Unitarian, Faded Duds

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 10:43:31 -0500

Croncast - 2008-02-08.mp3
Show: #460
Length: 31:41
Size: 21.8mb
Format: mp3

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Here we are for 2008 02 08
If you were an international player such as myself
What do you do internationally?
Podast internationally three times a week
You are an exporter baby
The air mattress can hold more money
Less filler
Thesises theses who knows . . .someone does
Mixed intro with Betsy
Comments about Kris's CB handle
I didn't have one
I was never in to it
You mean you were never allowed
Your CB would have been made of a Fisher-Price record player
It wasn't bad to the bone
When the bullet hits the bone
Different that what you think
It's a Friday . . . we gotta keep things loose
You are doing a live improv show
How do you do a "non-live" improv show?
I see, but you have to be spontaneous
You're gonna be prissy
The guy who likes to flip over chairs
You are manic
So are your people
Yeah, but you are predictable too
What do you do?
Kid who talks so much
I am bothered already
It's just stupid
No enough
I do hate improv
Ninety five percent of it is bad
Five percent is good
I don't like sitting through it to catch the good stuff
If it were tv I would change the channel
What is your next step?
I can't do it I'm 32
The younger people can do it
We'd be opening strip shows
He takes off his coat and he has my shirt on
I flipped out
But why?
How un-unitarian is it of you
To challenge your child on the gender specificity of his clothes
You should have worried more that it was your shirt
The first person that owned that messed up
The lady who bought it at Goodwill was out of their minds
Everybody gives me a hard time about my clothes
No one else gets it baby
Your 1998 pants need to be destroyed
Your stove pipe pants hearken back to grunge days
They have been sitting at Goodwill for 10 years
You rescued them from the slow ship to Africa
Those pants sang to you
I wash, dry and they fit like a glove
You are irrationally afraid of sharks and feet
Tromping around in the snow
That is the bummer part
You put on yesterday's pants
If they have yesterday's salt ring on them
That is a total bummer
I hate the midwest
I just don't care, Kris
If you won't let your kid wear it
You shouldn't wear it either
I don't consider what Elliot would look like in it
We've come a long way since we moved into the suburbs
I have been assimilated and so have you
I am not talking politics with you
People will realize that Obama has Jesus shooting out of his eyes
Let me give you a hint, baby, you are the only one who sees Jesus Check out the For Whatever Reason Podcast Produced by friend of the show Tim Alexander

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: record player Tim Alexander CB Handle 1998 pants For Whatever Reason

Season 19 Ep 4: Volvo Petting Zoo, Butter Dish, The Wheel

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:20:21 -0500

Croncast - 2008-01-14.mp3
Show: #450
Length: 38:50
Size: 26.7mb
Format: mp3

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New intro music keeps on rolling along
Posts are the items in the site
I think you lost dad at upload
That could be the catch phrase from a nerd movie
"You had me at upload"
Having the love of a nerd is like that of a Golden Retriever
The red in their eyes
Like the bloodhounds
We'll get your's fixed someday
You can get side by side
And then I'll get you plastic surgery, the both of you
We do dis and dis, but not dis
I should have bitten his face
We took the dogs to the groomer
Changing deaf dogs name every three weeks
What does it matter?
You know what happens to 15 dogs right?
Sure, they die
No
The dog is walking around with cancer and a 13th nipple
Dog groomers should know better and look for lumps
The number one thing that gets skipped is the finger in the butt
No one wants to drain a dog
Let fail you
Betsy likens web designers with Goodwill
The two handed dog shave
Like she was swinging a bat
The last time they cut off a mole
It was like a half-dollar size
Don't feed her by hand
She wants to even the score
How many times has this dog been to the pound?
Thirteen times
Mom is nuts when we go to vet or groomer
Sure, your dog is big and he pees on your knees
When we hit the door little deaf dog freaked
I didn't realize she was that aware
Of course she is
Then my mom takes on the trauma of the dog
I know from the Dog Whisperer that is not how to act
The dog wants someone to lead
First of all, she's deaf
I want you to write that in big block letters
She needs to be drained, I can tell
Then she feels guilty for bringing in the dog
I know how this goes
Then my mom will decide to put the dog to sleep
It only has one duty . . . eat what Maggie drops
I swear Shih Tzus were designed to catch spaghetti on their head
Just do what is least invasive
Gonna put in a Jarvik .021?
In six months we'll be Shih Tzu shopping again
Your mom is the Kevorkian of the dog adoption world
I got Wheel of Fortune auditions today!!
I know you are so excited
The sounds you were making when you got the email
If I win money I'm buying a goat
This here is the only petting zoo in the entire nation delivered to you in a Volvo
Designer outlet mall parking lots would never be the same
Two dollars, don't touch my goat
You need to be comfortable
What not to do
I was freaking because I thought from your yell something was happening
Sure, like Maggie went face first into a hot stove
Nope, just The Wheel
Eeyor tells you how to overcome your fear of success PBS special
What happens when Betsy is on and knows it?
You get too over the top . . . just catch yourself and reel it in
Kris, quit with the analogies
I say this as your number one fan
I have been there for every party where you hold court
You'll be fine
Marcus hits my cart
He says, "who the hell are you?"
I ask where the butter dish is at
His reply, "Oooooooo oooooOOOO"
The manager walks up and taps me on the shoulder, "did you see that doll house?"

Tags: dollhouse Shih Tzu dog groomer butter dish Kevorkian

What good are 3 hits from Google search results?

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 08:56:11 -0500

I can tell you. It all depends on what people are searching for.

Painfully obvious, right?

Well, not so much when someone searches at Google for intitle:"chocolate" ext:rss. The odds are astronomically high that even chocolate experts weren't even returned as results. See for yourself.

So what does this mean? It means that someone searched Google for a RSS feed (ext:rss) with the word chocolate in the title (intitle:"chocolate").

Yes, the search is more advanced than a keyword or phrase based search but that isn't my full point. The reason that it matters is that not only did this individual search for chocolate but also culture and abba. Not quite sure what it says about the person searching for those topics . . .

So for me, these three hits matter. They are three more than I would have normally received for those topics and a chance for me to get them to possibly subscribe to those feeds, subscribe to my podcast, click an ad (yes, I like money) or get my brand in front of them.

I am able to do this with keyword feeds that I create dynamically from posts that get the same SEO treatment that a normal webpage would get.

The other plus for this type of search is the fact that they return so few results and Croncast happens to be ranked #1 for most of them including searches like, say . . . "CNN" or "Micorsoft" or "iTunes".

I've had conversations with a friend, Rick Klau, about RSS feeds being indexed in Google search results. Most of those discussions focused on my saying that feeds should show up in search results and Rick saying that they shouldn't.

My stance is that some people, like myself, benefit from these results the same way that we benefit from a normal click through to our sites. I am able to do this by checking where the individual who clicked through is coming from and displaying a web page instead of the RSS with the exact same data that was in the feed.

But I don't stop there. I also make sure to let the user know how they got to the page and that they can now subscribe to that feed. It's a soft landing for what traditionally has been a hard look at XML or ugly feed displays in browsers. Which is where you will end up with 99.9 out of 100 feeds if you click through them when returned in a search.

What is Rick's position? If 99.9 are bad then they should be removed. For the time being I will agree that he is right. But that doesn't mean that this is the way it always has to be.

A couple of things could change this:

1) The uptake of RSS since IE7 and and FireFox now display their own XSLT to prettify the XML. Sort of like FeedBurner does.
2) Publishers add their own XSLT for their feeds
3) Publishers using blogs, most of which are dynamically generated, are written with code that can check for referers like Goolge, Live and Yahoo and redirect the user to a page that has the same content as the feed
4) My favorite. Google could create their own XSLT document that loads the feed into it.

Maybe that was more than a couple but I believe there are a lot of ways to welcome feeds into indexed search results beyond having to type in a search like intitle:"Google" ext:rss.

By the way, I'm not number one on this one Google is with it's YouTube property.

Next up, how to create RSS feeds with keywords in the title, how to get the .rss extension added to your feeds and landing pages for feeds.

Tags: RSS search page rank Google search RSS XSLT FeedBurner

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 14, 2007

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:12:05 -0500

Croncast - 2007-11-14.mp3
Show: #433
Length: 28:35
Size: 19.8mb
Format: mp3

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Post birthday wrap up
No I won't read it . . . it is inappropriate
What did you get me for my birthday?
Love
How do I put a photo of that up?
Just a white space
Your gift already expired
It was an interesting birthday
Was it like having a heel ground into your balls
To know that your plasma just bought tickets to a movie and chocolate cake
You came home with this cake
It had one 3 of the 33
I thought about using toothpaste to put the other on
I saw this monster chocolate cake
I have been shaving chocolate since 4 a.m.
Granted, he'll know it's from Costco
"All-American Chocolate Cake"
My Black Keys poster is gone
You blow out the candles
It was like a car tire, not really
My accent is like a cheesegrater on the edge of my words
I chop up the cake
Hand it out
And everyone is like this is a great cake
Elliot stands up straight
"I NEED TO BE EXCUSED"
He starts bouncing off the furniture
My mom look up and her face it bright red
Maggie starts freaking out too
She is yelling about wanting to ride the dog
Yeah, I ate four bites and had to stop
Betsy, I think it is full of caffeine
Loaded chocolate cake
Who wants to do more cake?
I am wired at this point
I didn't have an iris left
Just black eyes from open pupils
I couldn't handle it
You guys were right about the cake
Mom just stands up all the sudden
I gotta go to bed now
Talking a mile a minute
I go to get my phone out of the car
Find some gummy bears
I eat a handful of them
My chest starts thumping
My body tingles all over
Was it going along with the beat of the music?
I have never, ever felt that way in my life
Felt good when you scratched you head though didn't it
You know what will make you feel better?
More cake
That is like saying, I could use more diarrhea
I need to find my worst enemy to share it with
Scientists for chocolate experts look at that cake and tell us why
That cake was pure baked cocaine
I was still thinking about the cake today
Why do I want more cake? It's 8 a.m.
I do not fall into the stimulant category
Thanks to Costco I will no longer eat chocolate cake
You can turn off your emotions like a switch
Kris's phone is blowing up
Birthday wishes at 4 a.m.
I need to invent an apparatus that allows you to smoke while sleep
I'll be a quadrillionaire
Smoking in your sleep is healthy
Human mysters at 2 a.m.
The deer just stood in the front yard
Yeah, your dog will poop and eat it before it hits the ground
Stuffed animals from Goodwill need to be washed, Betsy
No they don't, they just need love

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Tags: Costco cake Goodwill smoking in your sleep caffeine chocolate expert

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 17, 2007

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 08:45:47 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-17.mp3
Show: #398
Length: 29:56
Size: 20.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 17, 2007

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I'm losing my voice again
Thanks to your children
Serves you right!
Mr. "In a minute"
Hitting refresh is not a job
Doing who is queries all day
The fact that you know what a who is query is . . . time for love love
The pitter patter of Gigi upstairs
Don't spray that in your eye
Maggie locked me in the basement
Every woman in this house locks me in the basement
Once she realizes I am on one side and she is on the other she freaks out
Daddy, daddy dadddy
I begin to stress because I hear the crying
It activates that parental thing in me
There is one way out other than crawling out
A big man in a small window
Yeah, it is like fat women and little dogs
I begin yelling for the other one to come and unlock the door
The dogs start barking
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs
I start yelling up the vents hoping Elliot would hear me
Why didn't you just stick one man titty at a time out the window and ease out
You need to get out of the house Mr. B
I really wish we could spend time together at things like the Great American Yard Sale
You could be my wing man Mr. B
Anyways, I got you
Who wants to play with plushies with you
Betsy does improv class night two
It will make me a better listener, Kris
It has brought insight into your life
I have learned what it is like to be a man
Someone will redirect you in the moment and you can move on
I just think you've got a brain like golden retriever
I don't have to be a tree at home
We should have a family game night with improv games
Oh, wait I have an idea . . . how about family HTML programming night right before dessert
The new dude walks in to class and he is a programmer
I thought you were a coder
I can smell it on your breath
What does it smell like?
Your mother's basement
It was super fun
I had a near death experience Mr. B
How does that happen when all you do is go and get coffee and hit up Goodwill
I put down the mocha latta
I'm parked next to a big shiny Lexus
Maggie freaks and I open my car door into the car
Then I see that the car is occupied
Fuck you and your fucking small car
The woman gets out of her car very slowly
I don't know what you are supposed to do in that situation
It's a Volvo, it's bullet proof, don't touch me
It gets worse
I did what any self respecting mommy would do
I lick my shirt and rub the mark off her car
She makes eye contact and says, "Stop licking my car"
My ass was grass
Get your lips off my Lexus
I had successfully removed the scratch with my magic eraser finger
I hit your car but I successfully slimed off the mark
The dust of Elk Mountain
I would get arrested for that
I know what I am going to do
I ran
I ran away from her
I picked up Maggie and ran
If she hits my car, well, it is insured
I wasn't going to wait until she popped out my eye teeth
Betsy will minimize anyone else's shit
Just because you don't care about your car doesn't mean other people don't
The Dust of Montrose
Was my greatest vacation ever
Your not helping me out Mr. B
The Great American Yard Sale has moved to a mall parking lot
Westfield shopping center won't know what hit
Welcome to camp Junk Ass
One legged box races
There are some one legged people that can gallop
I need you to help me out
I'll get there at four in the morning and it will give me a 10 minute head start
They stole my Jaguar off my hood
What it the whole point of owning the Jaguar is the stupid little shiny thing
Yeah, now it is next to some kids tee ball trophy
Dealership says none in stock
Ornament $211, labor $78 and with tax it will be about $330
Didn't you have any markings on it?
Thanks to Bernadette for this review and write up!

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Tags: Black Lexus Great American Yard Sale improv class Dust of Montrose Jaguar hood ornament

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 09:27:44 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-03.mp3
Show: #393
Length: 32:41
Size: 22.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 03, 2007

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Kris is losing his voice
The most emotional day of Jeanie's life ensues
Jeanie wakes up hammered
Betsy woke up and rubbed her feet all over Jeanie
It is the curse of Betsy
Betsy hates feet, can't stand feet
Wants nothing to do with feet
However, she can't keep her feet off of you
She has to put them on you
And these aren't regular feet
They are a women's size 12
A man's size 11 1/2
And they are like meat hooks
Dry, jerky meat hooks
And they are rough and jagged with a sixth toe on each foot
Like the Chinese guy in the Guinness Book
It must be a female thing
Evan yells at me when I do it to him
Why do you gotta put your toes on me?
Get on your own side dude!
Sorry, Mrs. Smith greatest day ever isn't gonna cap out
While I'm dying of alcohol and nicotine poisoning
I wake up and the toilet is full of Kobe of bananas foster
I didn't puke on the floor . . . it is from when I got out of the shower to puke
Jeanie, "This is gross"
We have to get up, today is the second greatest day of my life
The day that I get to go and shoot stuff
I'll have the fruit plate
It comes back as fruit art
We tell the waiter, but it is obvious that Betsy is hungover
The waiter comes back with cappuccino for the ladies
Jeanie gets amped
Somebody give that woman a firearm
Betsy now feels the same way that I did when we were on the ATVs
Even Linda Hogan has to put chin to cleavage and push on
No pressure, step up to the plate
We walk in to Valhalla
Turns out that John is going to help us
There are like 10 bronze Remington statues
Gigantic NRA flags on the wall
Celebrity photos on the wall
John, ex-Navy Seal, comes over and talks to us
I have never listened so hard in my life
"Oh shit, we are really going to do this"
This will be in live combat simulation mode
The bullets will explode
"We do not point the gun at anyone. Including me," John
This is when Jeanie begins to panic
We have to sign a waiver with or social security number
If you had been in the presence of an ex-Navy seal
John comes over and lays down 9mm pistols in front of us
Jeanie looses her color, "I'm trapped in this steal room with pulverizing bullets"
More instructions on how to hold the gun
He helps Jeanie out arm over arm
We are not going to be Olympic competitors if rifle
Ready position
Jeanie pulled . . . and she melted
The Navy Seal saw it coming
He grabs her. Jeanie, "Bull shiiiit!"
All of the sudden there are stars in the sky
She is still standing right next me
I can't quit shaking
Do you need some water?
He grabs lapel, "We have a freaker"
He knew you were going to hit the road
Lodged, malfunction, strike the magazine
Bang, bang, b-bang
Shells are falling all around Betsy's Crocs
Betsy turns around with the gun and Jeanie hits the deck
That is just the beginning
Betsy, "It's OK to go Jeanie"
Trying to be encouraging while crying
Jeanie is the world's best friend
John2 at the front desk watches the uncontrollable shaky Jeanie
Do you want some oxygen?
Finally they send a car
Meanwhile back at Valhalla . . .
OK you shot'em in the head . . . but it doesn't mean they can't still kick your ass
You keep shooting till they don't move
The look on your face is the look in that picture!
John has made a very large impact on your life
I am going to take you to a live scenario room
If this were a long term course we would work on your startle reflex
Betsy is awesome with a pistol
They take Betsy into a biker bar with a terrorist
I know it went down but you've got to keep shooting them
So Betsy clears the room . . . "Clear and cold"
Fear of firearms
John, "We have one more room for you"
He walks Betsy into a biker bar scenario room
Your face baby, oh my god
So in the corner of the bar is a robber
All you can see is his head and arm because it was around a hostage
I turned and dropped him with one shot between the eyes
It was the best feeling that I ever had
So Kris this is what I am thinking . . . a well armed wife is a happy wife
"You cannot beat and armed woman"
They sold purses designed for your concealed weapon
I am putting it out there for birthday
Henry just erased everything off his board and wrote, "I win."
You might be the first person to be turned away at the Unitarian church
I was going to tell Elliot, "Mommy took down a terrorist today"
So now it is time to leave
Cold maze is a good maze
I think something that contributed to my discomfort was not breast feeding for 3 days
To the right of me is a breast pump going full speed
Betsy finished up . . . and says I got to get rid of this stuff
It's like the trucker's pee bombs
Yeah, except this is 90 proof
She looks out window and says, "Are you ready?"
Jeanie, "Why is it going to be beautiful? Is it going to turn into fairy dust"
Is this going to be amazing?
I gotta do this cool because there is a wind going
Betsy throws it out . . . and it comes right back at her
The inside of the Volvo is now covered with breast milk
We stop at the Continental Divide
You remember how I feel about high mountain roads
Betsy, keep talking to me, keep talking
Those nets are to catch landslides
You could have explained pump and dump
All of the sudden we see cable cars
"The highest point on highway 50"
It is gorgeous
I was not feeling well
Jeanie is shaking, exhausted and needs a pick me up
Betsy, what kind of fudge do you want
"What dude," Betsy says Colorado slow
I think that I am freaking out
Now we have to drive down the mountain
Fudge won't help anything
We made it down it ok
But we were following an RV
Can you use those for cars?
No you have to hit the mountain
The RV's brakes were on fire
It took us six hours to get home
That's it, installment 4 of Betsy and Jeanie's trip to Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club

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Tags: Remington Valhalla Shooting Club Linda Hogan Continental Divide shop Betsy Smith Jeanie Bowen

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0400

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

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We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

Today's winning search terms all relate to Al Gore

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 14:00:23 -0500

Poor Al Gore, and winner of today's funniest search results for this post are:

1) Al Gore botox
2) what happened to al gores face?
3) grammys al gore

I guess the funniest part is that I didn't expect to get many search hits for this because I thought it was just me who was creeped out by the "aging rock star "work that had been done on his face. Not so. Now I feel a wee bit more normal.

I would like the old Al Gore face back. I'd even take the bearded one.

Tags: Al Gore's face Grammy Awards Al Gore Al Gore botox Al Gore What happened Al Gore

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 19, 2007

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 06:39:45 -0500

Croncast - 2007-02-19.mp3
Show: #339
Length: 33:12
Size: 22.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 19, 2007

Witty, smart or tired when you make your comment
Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

So we're taking a month off
Remember that March is a desert of Croncast
Over 300 times of the same style
I didn't come here for you to insult you Mr. B
I'm going crazy Mr. B
I have been in this house for two weeks (ahem)
I think you have left plenty of times
Getting up at 4 a.m. with the kids
When I am gone I miss that
Man, that's early . . . there is nothing going on that early
Why are you putting out lunch at 10:30
My Kashi has made it's way towards the exit
I'm so disappointed Mr. B
I signed up for Weight Watcher again
I gained a pound
It's impossible
How many pounds did you lose the first time around? 120
Not eating fast, Kashi and other high fiber foods
That's not it baby it is portions too
"I can eat the hell outta something," Betsy
That is the wrong phrase if you want to lose weight
I'm not even eating the shell
That taco salad, Maggie could get lost in that salad
Portion control baby
Take a lesson from Bears
Take a lesson from someone vicariously on weight watchers
They keep you from eating the food because it tastes so bad
Spinach that reminds me of mowing the lawn
You're older now Betsy . . . you hit 30 . . . things have changed for you
"I just want some chunky monkey"
Ok, Kris, what the hell is your problem with the Murder McMansions
Jeanie called, wouldn't there be blood in the carpet?
The old telephone building . . . our own Murder Apartment
It was New Years Eve when I was 7
All the firetrucks (the two the town owned) the town's ambulance and a lot of volunteers
There was a domestic dispute and someone got stabbed . . . and died
Our new love nest was a bloodstained
No he didn't go after her, you have it backwards
Oh, I could live there no problem
She stabbed him
He probably deserved it
I just sat right over that bloodstain watching TV eating my Gino's pizza
Our next vertical move we gotta buy one
Selling your Murder McMansion
Betsy hits us with her fuzzy math purse business update
Bear, I love you like Jesus and cotton candy

Tags: Murder McMansion Kashi diet big taco salad Weight Watchers Jesus and cotton candy

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 16, 2007

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 09:14:00 -0500

Croncast - 2007-02-16.mp3

Show: #338
Length: 15:35
Size: 10.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 16, 2007

There comes a time for everything. This show is one of the shows from the night we recorded seven because of the weird vibe we had going. That and Betsy blew me away by crossing a new line.

What is marmalade?
It's fancy jelly, Kris
My entire body is made of fancy jelly
You're like lamb jelly
When you boil meat stuff floats to the top
I'm sure you can spread it on toast
I'm still plugging away at this business Mr. B
It is a number of things
You can ask me to do a lot of crazy things but I will never say you are right
You are no longer a purse company
Baby, please don't do this
Bears, listen to me
I have three new business ideas
I would like your feedback on a number of things
Do they sell purses?
Fancy diaper bags
The word of the show is "fancy"
I'm putting it in terms that you can understand
Selling all the kids stuff
This purse bitch in Florida is driving me crazy
She lives right next door to the exact same outlet mall
She is the only person doing it and undercutting me
Selling her shit for a penny
The bag full of kids clothes
Sweating it out during the middle of summer
He likes seconds on cereal, he'll be a XL by summer
eBay sellers not welcome at this sale
It's not illegal to show up
Just don't have to tell them
There's a small catch
This bag, the Madison and Friends bag is $250
But Gigi would be smoking . . . she needs some Diesel jeans
No McKids for our babies
Listen, our kids are so Goodwill'ed out that they aren't even at the McKids level yet
Your taste is his taste . . . and Gigi's taste? Nobody's taste
She is the only 2 year old that dresses like Phylliss Diller

8:00 mark . . . Betsy's hits her stride with the show killer. Aside, this was recorded maybe a week before This American Life released a show chronicling people doing exactly this. And Betsy got an "I told you so!"
The murder McMansion
A little Ajax we can flip that bitch
I know it's got an office . . . that's where they were all found
Oh, baby.

Tags: Phylliss Diller McKids eBay purses ebay sellers not welcome Madison and Friends bag

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 05:54:34 -0500

Croncast - 2007-01-12.mp3

Show: #326
Length: 34:30
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 12, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Ben Witt.
Also brought to you Black Box wine . . . just cause Betsy finds so delicious
Melissa is back with us again for a special show
She is going to sign up to be the Brockway Girl (I would link this up but the links are broken to their own promotion)
Melissa works at the group home that we collected and you donated dough to
She came on to thank everyone and get Betsy's hook up help
"Geek husbands are the best," Betsy
I'm not like them. Do you want to come over and play Wii with me?
I smiled and nodded but I really wasn't interested in it
You want me to what?
If you enjoy single life you will enjoy being married to a geek
Their direct deposit goes into your account
Nerds are loyal and won't disappear with your neighbor
Give'em lots of cereal
Mc Donald's gift card and no allowance
Getting your nerd 'sun like' light from special bulbs
Can we throw your photo on the site?
Hotter to every nerd . . . pic in front of mic
Not that I have been home thinking about it
Betsy has a master plan for Melissa
A beer girl to?
In Germany Kris could apply to be a beer girl and win
She should win because her last name is Brockway

"I don't know why you don't have a harem," Betsy
Melissa doesn't understand search engine results
She reads some of our search engine hits for the last 4 days

Girls gone wild, spice channel, nipples, girls gone wild on airplane, Hot pic french maid, full body corset, animal husband, Dr. Oz gain an inch,Goodwill store commercials, drink drano, canker, RSS girls gone wild, cuffs, sexy fifties, issues with john elway dodge, betsy porn, "vasectomy didn't work"

So that is how the world finds us
Getting a vasectomy in Tijuana
I don't where a t-shirt that says I have hang-ups
Even if he sees his friends from online he wouldn't know who they are
Look at Kris, that is the geek defense
You'll understand someday
I came on the show to thank everybody for everything that they gave to us
We had the best Christmas at the Lisle group home
The best one that we have had with them ever
Thank you to your listeners!
Today is Kris's last khaki pant day, it is over
Kris, you have to shower everyday . . . you'll get stars on your page
Wii tournament January 27th

Tags: Ben Witt Brockway Girl Brockway Chophouse geek husbands Wii tournament

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 10, 2006

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 06:31:58 -0500

Croncast - 2006-11-10.mp3

Show: #300
Length: 39:19
Size: 27.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 10, 2006

That's it, the contest she's over. We've hit the 300 show mark and have winners that we drew this morning . . .

New listener winner - Matt Kavgian
Handle winner - Tom Simpson

Both of you guys will be receiving an email from me later this morning to ask what color iPod you would like. However, if you see or hear this first drop me an email and tell me what color you want.

Betsy and I want to thank all of you for listening to the show! Some of you have been listening for two years(a little something in the show for you around the 4:15 mark), some of you who are new and to all of those somewhere in between, thanks for having us over.

Show notes:

We give the iPods away
Betsy gets right into why it is just us on the show
No Betsy's dad he's got he flu
Not a good week for Gary
This is the way it should be . . . me and Booba
Is it too much pressure to be on the show?
Would Betsy ask the hard hitting 60 minutes questions
Why did we do the announcement at the beginning?
Betsy hung out with a listener today . . . Tara
Our family thinks continually that all of our listeners must be crazy
Bagels and the playground
There are normal people that listen to the show too
How did she find us? Message board
People talking about us online
Goggle and technorati ego searches
The Google searches that we get - "How to Show p*$#y to Husband"
My guess from the search is Russian mail order bride
The reason for all the hits is that we have over 549 items listed in the site
"folicular" is also been popular we're still number one at Google
I think Robin Klau coined dairysnake. . . .let me see
"Hey, so whatever happened to Slowsky?"
Poor Slowsky, Betsy wants to go see Slowsky
Kris says that Slowsky is gone
Betsy has a new passion that must be quenched . . . it has to do with QVC
She is going to call and see about purchasiing returns to sell on eBay
Amvets sweet old lady changes her tone when asked about sales
The semi will be here soon to fill our house . . . I know you Betsy
Not loving the hustle
The multiple home handsets for phone
What is the deal with the phone again . . . "checking line for trouble"
We talk about the last two years and reminisce about nearly destroying our marriage
On Monday we'll talk about the show and our plans
Outro is a little more for the long time listeners

Tags: Google 300 300th Show Matt Kavgian Tom Simpson

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 20, 2006

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 06:32:38 -0400

Croncast - 2006-10-20.mp3

Show: #287
Length: 33:03
Size: 22.7 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris October 20, 2006

Betsy decides to start shipping while the show begins
Then wants to divert attention
You don't want to talk about the naked camel in the desert?
I want to talk about the email
Betsy says, it is a surprise that we don't get hate mail everyday
The shipping continues
Sign up for the contest and then send hate mail . . . nice
Now you're a Puffy Cuffs
If it is really bothering you that much
"If you're engaged to a geek - break it off," Betsy
Saving driving directions to my phone instead of printing them out
The tape sound again . . . it is the sound of my life
The sound of my eternity
Postal priority mail tape
They quit making it
What am I going to use to wrap Christmas gifts
Betsy says she has big news
Betsy is going to hang with a fan tomorrow . . . Abbi Z.
Kinda gonna be in the area
Betsy is wired and over-thinking it
Betsy screwed up chocolate chip cookies
Not so sweet cookies
Abbi will eat them and smile
That's why we do it baby for the fans
Got rid of Slowsky
Better phrasing, "Off to the auction like a fat pig"
The Slowsky lowdown
Sister turned it down and now Betsy uses it for a trade on a car for her sister
If you can't sell something to Kris you should be fired
We got it good right now
Betsy, "I know you live like that. My darling the rapper."
The QVC clothes smell like old people
They pump the bags full of the odor
Too chubby to put a leg forward
Quality Value Convenience you need to shop it too
Compression garment for the abdominally blessed
Betsy hits a new low - recording QVC to DVR for later viewing
No high waist jeans at the store but Goodwill got'em
We're off to Boulder tonight
Maggie, Betsy and Kris are off that is the man will rock it out with grandma
The irony? Back to Colorado
Slowsky is worth more in pieces than as a whole
Zeus is getting fixed next week
Not just hate mail, only one, and many great emails and comments yesterday

1) Fill out the appropriate form for you - *New* Listener or Get a Handle (current listener)
2) Verify your email address (Activates and qualifies those with a "Handle")
3) *New* listeners get activated and qualified by using their special RSS feed
4) 300th new listener and the person whose Handle they use win iPods AND
5) A drawing for 2 more iPods from everyone who entered!

Tags: Slowsky Goodwill pants QVC clothes Boulder priority mail tape

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 18, 2006

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 07:02:35 -0400

Croncast - 2006-09-18.mp3

Show: #275
Length: 36:28
Size: 25.0 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris September 18, 2006

0% September 11th drama around here
Kris says I'm not dealing with it
His usual process it takes him a week to ge it
Last week was the NFL podcast launch
Special Note: You will only be able to see the podcast pages not the other areas of the sites.
Larry Fitzgerald
Joe Jurevicius
Joe Horn
Steve Smith
Betsy could hold it down
Except when she sees money coming in and then slows her ebay stuff
Betsy's Hebrew Green Eggs and Ham
Kris thinks it is the score of the century . . . better than 1st edition Torah
Where's Waldo in French
Things not to do: Tree trimming 9:30 at night in the dark
The family is oout doin it up
Trimming the night before dries out the branches
The dog is even with us
Zeus starts to spaz out
Running in loops
He starts a run at Gigi like a crazed horse
He hits her and she does a flip and lands on her head and back
Betsy saves her dog with a shout
Kris gets to Gigi and her mouth is bleeding
She made out great with only the little cut
Kris goes on about his lack of responisibility when it comes to safety from the dog
I had to restrain myself
Betsy got the lecture about "Next Time"
Please let me finish
For some reason Betsy doesn't understand Elliot's lack of love for the dog . . . hmmm
Betsy tried to leave her sister for hobos
The chili cook-off and Kris telling the neighbor he is not social
Betsy came to my rescue as usual
My new 14 ft saw
Not replacing Slowsky . . . supplementing
6 years, 1 month worth of ebay stuff still in Betsy's stash

Tags: tree trimming NFL podcasts Hebrew Green Eggs and Ham Zeus Croncast

Stat-o-rama where we're at 3 months into new site

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 10:12:51 -0400

As many of you know I am a stats freak. So since we passed our 250th show I thought I would share some numbers. These numbers aren't for the entire 250+ shows but for the new site that went live on April 9th of this year.

Totals are since the site went live 3 months ago:

Shows: 38
Downloads: 49,461
Downloads from RSS: 40,162
Downloads from site: 9,299
Avg downloads per show: 1,301
Unique listeners who have downloaded: 3,998
RSS hits: 254,826
Unique RSS hits (includes bots and spiders): 5,160
Unique RSS daily avg. hits (all feeds): 562
% of people using old RSS feeds (prior to new site launch): 79.1%
% of people using new RSS feeds (post new site launch): 20.9%
% people using iTunes to subscribe: 49.7%
% of people using Juice to subscribe: 9.9%

How did you get this information? From Castlock.

What is Castlock? It is the podcast platform that runs this site.

Where can I get it? Right now it is mine and only mine.

What does it do? Manages this entire site, podcasts, RSS feeds, delivers mucho stats, allows for HTTP Authentication of feeds and is integrated with Authorize.net payment gateway for paid for subscription RSS feeds.

That's it. Those are the stats that I check everyday on the download and RSS side of the house.

Tags: stats croncast kris smith betsy smith rss Castlock

Podshow caching and how to stop it

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 23:06:38 -0400

Three months ago I created a podcast management system. Part of that development was tracking everything that happens with all files, especially RSS. Being a huge stats nerd I freaked when I kept getting regular hits from this ip: 72.3.228.221 to my main RSS feed where the User Agent was null. WTF, a null user agent?

So a little due diligence I found the IP is part of Podshow's block at RackSpace. I skype Chris from Podcast Alley, cause I knew him way back before Podshow, and asked him what was up. Oh yeah, the IP was asking for authentication when I visited so I couldn't see what going on.

I asked him what they were doing with the feeds. His reply was that they were caching them. No big deal. Still problematic in a sense that I am not pinging them to send them an update, but whatever, they got a plan and caching isn't inherintly evil. At this time I requested him to add the User Agent information to the script they were using to pull the feeds. That never happened.

Needless to say I shared this information with a couple of podcasters who immediately blocked the the IP address. But I didn't. So for the last three months they have been hitting not only my feed but the feeds of many other people every half hour and caching them.

But this is where the problem comes in. Yesterday with the botched launch of the new Podshow+. I took a look at the IP which was no longer asking for authentication and took a look around. I look at it like if my feed is public and you are using it in your site and your IP is public and broadcast to my database I can use it too. So I took a look around. Yikes!

I found my feed . . . or did I? What I found as others are finding or any podcaster whether they belong to the network or are paid by podshow is that they are re-writing the cached feeds!! Yup. Changing tags, truncating data, modifying the RSS generator tag to say "Podshow Delivery Network" (Update: it reads "PodShow PDN") and . . . and rewriting the original URL of the feed that they cached. Are you kidding? They don't even link to my original feed. So how would I know people are even subscribed? I wouldn't and they would. More incentive to join their network I guess.

If people weren't sure about Podshow's intent to make money off the back of every podcaster then this is a sure sign that if they did't they sure do now. The fact that Podshow is purporting even at this early stage to be the proprietor of all podcasters is a joke. The arrogance to think that we all somehow owe them or should allow them to rewrite our feeds because their network is the be all end all signals that this is the end for them.

If you would like to stop Podshow from caching your feed and rewriting it as they roll Podcast Alley, Podsafe Music Network and the Podshow home page into the mega Podshow+ PDN then block this IP: 72.3.228.221.

Update: It appears as of 12 a.m. on July 7th the Podshow caching bot or script was turned off. But have some fun checking your logs for their IP address I bet it's there.

Update two: If you would like to see some screen shots and read more of this discussion check out Michael Geoghegan's post or Todd Cochrane's. For some other good opinions, Paul Colligan's "Podshow Hysterics" post and this one from FuzzyBlog. It will be interesting to see where this conversation goes today as this picks up some steam.

Final update then new post: 9:31 a.m. July 7 - Podshow is scraping from the ip again so lets have some fun.

Final final update: 2:05 p.m. July 7 - The XML chicklet link now goes to podcaster's original feeds.

Tags: Podshow PDN caching feeds rewriting feeds 72.3.228.221

100k on the way!

Wed, 24 May 2006 21:16:41 -0400

Not dollars! I wish. But we will cross the 100,000 RSS feed hits since the new site went live on April 9th. I am nerd excited.

The picture above is from my homebrew RSS stats app. Nice, eh? It tracks all of our feeds, well the 2 old ones (the one that redirects to Feedburner and the one read by Feedburner) from the last site and the 5 new ones. Since the new 5 have gone live we've picked up on average 53 unique readers of those daily. So from April 9th until today we've gained at least 53 new listeners . . . yes!

How do I know? I'm a stats junkie with enough code under his belt to get dangerous on the tracking tip.

The really big deal is that the website itself is envious of the RSS feeds and wishes them death. The day that I started running the stats to track the total RSS hits and even the unique hits the light went on. The RSS feeds receive nearly five times as many unique visitors in a day than Croncast.com!

UPDATE: It happened.

Tags: 100k RSS Croncast podcast stats

Not your father's website, not anymore

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 15:37:02 -0400

In the spirit of kicking this site off right (sans smashing the side with a giant champagne bottle) I thought I would take this time to get nerdly.

I know that many people are going to give me a hard time for the new site and the color scheme. So what. It was time for something fresh and clean that fits our lives where we are now. Consider the website a Croncast mood ring.

I have a tendency to just want to try stuff out and see if it will work or how it will look. The web is so full of drab color palettes and the standard Web 2.0 green and grey (which I am guilty of also).

I took this new design as a challenge to create something visually stimulating around even more meaningful data, if that makes sense. If not it goes something like this; the site is really insignificant when you match website hits against rss hits by unique ip and useragnet. Huh? More unique people throughout a given day hit the rss feed than hit the website nearly during an entire week.

So with this in mind I had a bit a new found optimism this week and wanted to arrange the site like a wrapper for the content (the stuff that ends up in on the site or feed) that is stored in one database. It simply comes down to the mechanism for distribution not solely the mechanism of display. How it gets displayed is really out of my hands in the larger scheme of things.

Tags: website castlock father

Feed Buffet RSS for Croncast

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 10:05:47 -0400

There are not 4, count'em 4, f-o-u-r Croncast feeds. They all basically do the same thing except that 3 of them are separated by category; Podcast, News and Blog.

The goal with this is to offer a 'lite' Croncast feed for those who are only looking for certain information. You might be asking yourself about feed #4 'The Kitchen Sink' and why not only offer it . . . on average nearly 400 unique people hit our current feeds daily.

By comparison the website hits are significantly lower. Peeps want RSS and they want the podcasts or news or other posts that we make.

Get a feed below:

Podcast RSS	News RSS

Blog RSS	Kitchen sink

Tags: Feed Buffet Croncast RSS

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 143

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 07:05:16 -0500

Croncast - 2005-11-01.mp3

Show: #184
Length: 37:48
Size: 25.9 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 143

Show Notes

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Betsy's eBay listings link

TheSmithMall

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Show intro
Betsy sings (this is what happens before every show begins)
I am Betsy's bitch
I make her air pop popcorn
Betsy has scaley feet
Betsy wants a pedicure
Putting up a picture of Kris' feet would get us thousands of hits
They would all be men pleasuring themselves until they find out that they are attached to a man with a beard
Betsy is ready to pimp me out instead of podcast
Creeped out spending the dough, dirty stripper money
Kris is still eating the same value meal
Men are too fat when they can no longer see penis in shower
Betsy is watching Oprah again, "Launch your own comeback"
Not wearing makeup
Princess Betsy with lipstick
Bird with plumage
Sexy male birds
Stuffing myself with food to not see penis to keep temptations at bay
Penn and Teller
Betsy's reality shows are now overlapping
Ulga's, Pink Cheeks, hair removal
The Girls Next Door, the Playboy show terrible name
The girls went to get waxes
Adult inside jokes in G and PG movies
Robots, "I get the Brazilian because it makes me feel like it is a fiesta everyday."
What happens when 6 year Ginny says that to her teacher?
PBS whoring out it's cartoon characters for cash
Euphemisms for bodily functions
Kris grew up next to the Montezumas
Kris gets the Hamburger Helper Star of the day
Keys, Cell Phone, Jumpdrive in the left pocket
Wallet, money, change in the right pocket
What you don't know about people you marry until they reveal things many years later
Kris won't call for pizza
I do it for organization
Betsy is going to buy me a girdle so I can see junk again
Having an attack
Don't rock my pocket world
Divorce of the pockets
Betsy's cough for lingers from the sore throat
I'll eat it, but food with hair from the animal that it belongs to are way too gross
Eating a chicken wing and flossing at the same time
I try to Betsy kudos for her meal cooking and somehow it goes back to me throwing a man fit of somekind
Buying a can of Ragu from Walgreens
Reasons housewifedom have come to suit Betsy
Cleaning a house with two screaming kids
Short shout outs for the night, Betsy will get crafty with them for Friday
Croncast has the best listeners
Betsy can't tell me about the poverty book anymore
Female donations

Tags: betsy kris croncast pocket feet