holidays | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

One of those moments

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 17:54:24 -0600

With so much going on around here - Croncast hiatus, kids on vacation, seeing old friends, the holidays and looking for a new job, I've got time to be both stressed and relaxed at the same time. Which, has my brain in a wildly creative state.

I was thinking about my life today, and more specifically my life with Betsy, and the circumstances in both of our lives when we knew each of the other was the "one". We had many of the same friends and participated in the same recreational activities but had not all that much in common. It was the right fit though!

Since that time, over 14 years ago, and like many married couples there have been good times and bad times. In all of these situations most of my memories of them include associations such as people, places and the emotions of those times.

As I was processing this out today while writing some code I was able to sum it up, if only to myself, like this - the only ghosts in this world are the ones that we create.

Life is all about choices. It's time to ring out the old and welcome the new!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS!!!

Tags: New Year ghosts 2007 Croncast

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 19, 2007

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:46:14 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-19.mp3
Show: #435
Length: 34:52
Size: 23.9mb
Format: mp3

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Baby, I been 33 for a week and realized something
You are beautiful
You've go a style all your own
Did senility set in?
You've got the reverse mullet
I need to get this woman a PBR
You got the part up front and business in the back
A very serious paradigm shift
So sorry for you sucka
You gots to see the business coming
You have requested I sell everything I own
Mine, my stuff
I bring up your rings
What did you tell me, Betsy?
Yeah, whatever
You can get your second wife bigger rocks than these
Diamond guns
I'll have diamonds falling out of my shirt sleeves
And now after taxes we can live off of it for a month
Spending money breathing
Garrick said, "It's expensive to wake up in the morning."
Paying to get through the day
Gotta get paid while you sleep
People do buy it now while I am snoring away
We bought ourselves a little time
Thanks to Chris Brogan, Rob Shore, John C Havens and others for leads
Head over to Croncast.com and check my resume
Oh, what are you doing?
Big stress doesn't lend itself to thinking about the holidays
His TV is buying a doll and a fruit tray
I'm queen of the wives
Speaking of this
Evan and I got into trouble with this last week
"what do you wives do?"
We said "Naperville" the wives don't work
I could be making $10 slanging slurpees
And you would still be at home
We could get a Jaguar gift certificate
Maybe the Volvo should disappear?
I called ChildServ to see if I can get on schedule
Back to my story
I was Christmas shopping
I am not going buy anything Made in China
Especially not a doll
What?
Have you gone all blue collar?
They'll poison your toothpaste and feed you Aqua Dots
I don't get this
I buy retail once a year
It's ok if it is gifted to Goodwill and you get it?
Hell yes
Even American Girl Dolls are made in China
So I am working this doll tip
You can't find any dolls that are not made in China
Betsy is out to change the world
She has always been fascinated with China
Chinese history books are all over the house
I grill Betsy on it as she avoids
This isn't about improv
I think the Cultural Revolution were interesting
I am trying to make this easy for you to understand
Olympic questions next
It'll be fine as long as no one gets pregnant
Dexter on Showtime has been great this season
WGA strike
Screw the studios . . . these writers should get on with it online
Thanks to CaptRespect and MacGeek for support!!

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Tags: made in china Naperville Goodwill CaptRespect MacGeek WGA strike

Betsy and her husband Kris May 07, 2007

Mon, 07 May 2007 08:28:32 -0500

Croncast - 2007-05-07.mp3
Show: #359
Length: 26:58
Size: 18.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris May 07, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Croncast is now Twitterified
Betsy wants to add it to her Resale Queen blog
She's afraid of blogging
Mother's Day is coming
Betsy has her own present lined up
If that doesn't work out she wants time . . . alone
Betsy is leaving the house on Mother's Day weekend
You're the only one for me
Avoiding holidays is our schtick
Maybe it is time for a divorce
The Build a Bear box tagline . . . "Where best friends are made."
That should be the tagline for the Bunny Ranch show on HBO
The Moonlight Bunny Ranch show . . . I can't even watch the preview
Strippers who couldn't jiggle their hips end up on the ranch
They are nasty, women who give boobs a bad name
I am not going to argue with my husband about why prostitutes are valued people
I am glad that you don't like prostitutes Kris
They need the tagline to help tell their story
Currently there is no story other than what you see . . . johns and hos
You're dad has been on Montell and I have met Geraldo, we're holding it down
Betsy has no judgment for the ladies
I want the story
Kris! I'm guessing some rape, beating, some low self-esteem
From hookers to kids
Elliot is cracking us up
Dad you need to be 18 to oder it . . . can you call for me
Aqua dots are made from chemicals, bro. They will kill your sister
Kris says no way to going to help the stray dog
Betsy takes much offense
If it will happen to anyone it will happen to Kris
I schlepped from McMansion to McMansion all weekend
The kids are slowing me down
I tricked you Mr B and got you in the car to garage sale
Yep, I was with you but I didn't get out of the car

We are going to do a live show here in Naperville . . . hopefully in July. We'd like to get about 40 people to come out so we can have the joint for about 2 hours. That means you need to get your friends to come out too. Let us know if you can swing it.

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Tags: Resale Queen castlock and twitter Buidl a Bear box Moonlight Bunny Ranch Geraldo

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 23, 2007

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 07:12:12 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-23.mp3
Show: #353
Length: 30:08
Size: 20.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 23, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks Kelly C.

This is a production of Palegroove Studios
You are the Junque Queen
They are investments Mr. B
You are pathological baby
Back when you took part in the plan
Watched the man
I am, I spent the entire day with the kids today
It has to do with the desire for you to part with your junk
How many times have you shopped alone?
Walking in to Goodwill and not knowing what you are going to find
I don't need another stuffed animal
That isn't what I said psycho-pants
Betsy forgets that she just told me something else
I'm fat because of you
You're going to be down here in a wife beater and a jogging bra Mr. B
Kris mowed the yard for the first time in two years
Turning dog poop in to confetti
Kris wore sandals to pick up Elliot and his feet were reflecting light
Last year you were a crazy workaholic
You took this new job to work less and it ain't so
When you turn over rocks that stuff doesn't look good
Mr. B you are the stuff under the rock
It's a problem because I say it is . . . you got to get out of the basement
It will be funny till you get diagnosed
Kris is going to Boulder on Tuesday
When I leave the house I go far away . . . it makes up for not going anywhere
Reference back to Jeanie's pee bomb story from her driving days
My work now is not like it was before
Closing up shop at the end of the day
I have to be there and if I'm not they think I'm not working
Kristopher! If they ping you at 2 am you would ping them right back
I love my phone
What they really want to hear about is my excellent weekend
The holidays don't mean a thing in junk . . . the first nice weekend it the best ever
Betsy needs all the karma trades she can get
Outside the donations box are two strollers
The "if you are a patriot you will donate something for retarded children box"
Betsy rationalizes and does the deed
- This is a great story -
Picking Elliot up from church on Earth Day
The wizard jedi master knight pope the 4th is there is his hooded wizard clothes
Don't you lock eyes with people and think this person is just like me
I don't want the hooded people at all
Don't twist my robe, I'll put a spell on you
Both the kids fit in to church
Gigi is a humanist and Elliot is way into it
The doll house wrap up
Thanks to Nicole Simon for the heads up on the broken feed

We are going to do a live show here in Naperville . . . hopefully in July. We'd like to get about 40 people to come out so we can have the joint for about 2 hours. That means you need to get your friends to come out too. Let us know if you can swing it.

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Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Tags: Palegroove Studios donation boxes Nicole Simon junque queen psycho pants peg perego

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 09:44:32 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-09.mp3
Show: #347
Length: 33:23
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 9, 2007

Kris is back from New York
Betsy starts drawing pictures of my forhead
Elliot, "Do you remember what happened after you had Maggie and you had beans in your arm?"
Lima beans in hosiery
It's April 9th . . . shouldn't the Unitarians be out burning something?
It's that time of year the fertility time
Unitarians have three open arms
The variety is what scares me
I like knowing that I can travel nearly 1000 miles from home
Look out my window and see McDonalds, Starbucks and a Friday's
Beyond the pavement
Town after town after town
Mr B, you're getting to be a worldly dude
I knew I was going to get yelled at
Everyday, I knew it was growing
No there was nothing going on Sunday
I should have left Saturday night
I had a really awesome time
Some people get to see Times Square . . . Croncast style I get to meet Geraldo
The News Corp Walk of fame
Big shout out to Jodi! Thank you so much for the tour. It was great to meet you!
I saw Bill O'reilly people getting Bill O'Reilly-ish
The nameplates, check these out
After the nameplates I come upon the General Lee of broadcasting
Check out the tattoos
They're not prison quality there old school
Right, your grandfather didn't have tattoos?
Not my side of the family, well mine did
So what did they look like?
Bill O'reilly on Anna Nicole's body?
No I'm sure he's going out to get that one later that day
Hey Nike listener's were calling you on the tour if you're down for August
Yeah these tours are cool, not the bus tour style
It's really cool to get these opportunities
Our listeners are really interesting folks
Have to say this . . . the people at Fox were great
Betsy was impressed by Jodi's purse
Coming to Seattle at the beginning of August
Mommy's depressed and daddy is out having fun
We're going to Atlanta in late August also
Let me tell you about my little General Lee
Betsy fills out the adopt-the-doggie-app
"One old lady should take care of another"
That sounds like a lesbian love ad
It doesn't sound like adopt a schnauzer?
The Red Hat Society, no sex . . . movies and chocolate
The doggies adopt out lady is the alpha dog
You're going to force me into buying one from a puppy mill
I need to see your two year old and the dog interact in a cage match
Elliot was a little gentleman
This woman is screening my children

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Tags: Geraldo The New Yorker Hotel Fox News Bill O'Reilly PodCampNYC Unitarian Holidays

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 15, 2007

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 06:54:42 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-15.mp3

Show: #327
Length: 29:45
Size: 20.4mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 15, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Daniel Broad.
Daniel may be trying to kill me
"Tomorrow, your close call with crumpets," Betsy
The audio fidelity of Croncast
I'm a free man
No more corporate job
Now I can talk all the shit I want about my office mates . . . Betsy, Elliot, Gigi
And since you're my wife no sexual harassment suits
But if you keep up with the broken monitor thing
You go this geek cry baby phase
The water cooler moment
I hope this isn't how our conversations aren't going to be
Today starts podcasting job full time
Where did that weird conversation guy go
The new monitor screen is brighter than the sun
This monitor makes Kris happy
The screen real estate . . .
It is shooting geek happy rays from the screen
Gateway is working to chemically alter nerds
Elliot vs. the salmon
Kris, "Maybe tomorrow we can look for salmon flavored candy . . . salmon flavored yogurt."
Elliot, "I am going to puke."
Vomitus a lotus commences
Fish floater story
Do fish really have floaters
I never did eat the brussel sprouts as a kid
The sound of the electric knife
That is how I knew it was time to eat at Grandma's during the holidays
Betsy is sick and so are the kids
The foreigners are trying to kill me
That four letter word that starts with 's' that drives Betsy . . . sale
Betsy can't find a sales person
The bar stool dance
Now the German chocolatier are after Kris
Choked with a Riesen chocolate
Pluses of being a chubster, strong throat hole
Evidently I hadn't been breathing for a bit
Sunday night is back for HBO with Rome

Tags: Elliot vs. salmon screen real estate fish floater Riesen candy Rome on HBO

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 05, 2007

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 07:29:31 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-05.mp3

Show: #323
Length: 38:08
Size: 26.2mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 05, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Gary Shilts.
Well, "Big news on Friday" has turned into "Big News on Monday"
Betsy and a wise friend advised me against it for today, so blame them for ruining the fun
The blue thing staring me down
Turns out it is a dolphin, dolphins aren't blue
It's a kids swing
This color issue is bothering me
Have you ever hear that introduction before
You got it wrong Mr. B.
We would have this argument on some stranger's driveway
People couldn't handle it
Today's big news is that Betsy thinks I need to be her apprentice, nope
Betsy says that I can't tell the big news
You already gave it away Betsy in email
No one knows where we really live
Henry, the nerd posse
You have to give him a plug for his blog
Even though he's from Aurora we let him in
Drying your junk with an air dryer
You would think immediately that this is something would happen in Aurora
Well it wasn't
Thanks for the image Henry!
I know about your Habitat for Humanity
I am going on record, I have never messed the white powder
Unlike the Barack Obama
Betsy does not take this kindly
"They are dumping his stuff out in the public cause of his presidential aspirations"
What you're telling me is that Mr. Kris Smith was a worm farmer?
Who is 40 years old and hasn't tried drugs in their life
It's not he's Republican, every Democrat has done drugs
I don't understand this ideal . . . and Kris misuses the word "vestige" . . . I apologize
Happy rays come out of his eyes
Don't let him take his shift off then his love rays come out
Lifetime movies are TV teledramas purchased for $7.50 from a vault
Stranded on an island with a hot guy and her dork ass husband
We had to watch the movie because the starlet had big boobs, natural
Betsy is hitting the Black Box Wine again
I can see you doing what you do, Betsy, with any product
Dumpster diving does have real value
"I just got good at this," Betsy
Taking out the benches that could smash children
Watching the garbage man do his job
He has to think every week, "It's about time these people got evicted"
Getting teacher crap for the holidays
OK shows over

Tags: Lifetime movies Barack Obama Black Box Wine dumpster diving Gary Shilts

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 25, 2006

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:02:52 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-25.mp3

Show: #318
Length: 30:56
Size: 21.2 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 25, 2006

Today's show is brought to you by The Zeliffs
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
Yup, a Christmas day show for those who celebrate and those who don't
We celebrate on Christmas Eve
How come the phone is ringing?
Why are neighbors stopping by?
Oh yeah
The beaten turkey a few years ago
Returned the meat to the store
He wasn't part of the status quo
He wants to be free-range
Beat him in front of the other turkeys make sure they see it
The group home kids are opening their stuff right now
Thanks to you guys who donated for the cause
Not wanting to get official
We just wanted to collect the money
Now we have some ChildServ corporate listeners
Back to Christmas . . . wasn't my dinner spectacular
Tackling the gifts that have been waiting
Pulling Christmas names
They would brawl . . . they could do it on the Wii
I go first, no you go first . . . my dad would trip on the way down the stairs
Now there are all these people and kids
Kris why are you being such an asshole
Have you ever had to take an intermission with gift opening?
We'll have to rethink it
Opening gifts all at the same time
I'm gonna get cake . . . who wants cake?
Could have gotten the kids two things
Digital picture prints for Betsy
When you're a mom you can't go through all the digital photos to print
Pictures of everyone
Worst hair choices for the past few years
Betsy sees the short hair picture and says lemme do it again
Dangly earings, denim jacket and Indigo Girls in the back ground
Patches of Mr. B hair all over the place
Betsy had blocked it out of her memory
What a bad decision
It's not even a pretty color it is dirt brown
Hair today gone tomorrow gift certificate
The investment in head shaving
Red for a couple days . . . it's hat season
Us bald guys we get chilly
Why would I want my eyebrows done
The in between part
Self-image change
It's a Van Dyke not a Goatee . . . it can't be
The sizes need to be set for the daddies who are shopping at the last minute
What about earings?
No I asked for a ring with nothing sticking up
No, no, no I just need a ring
The fact that it doesn't fit is not cool
Unique like my baby
Return it and go to Costco
Hey Mr. B . . . thanks for your gift . . . I'd like to return it . . . Let's go to Costco
Yeah, yeah, no, no you can't do that
Just get sized
Maybe that hurt my feelings a bit
Dry cleaning chemicals are really Febreeze
I loved your present Mr. B
Gotta give it up so I'm not into it out of love
I tore it up on my ribs
I rolled over in the middle of the night and I whimpered
If you wanna be a boxer grow some balls
I'm knocking you out
Pictures straight from the Wii
Adding all of your Wii Friend Codes
Like a build a bear
What are the Pagans doing?
Better yet what are the Universalist Unitarians?
Dancing around the saturnalia tree

Tags: Wii Friend Code free-rang turkey digital prints saturnalia tree dangly earings

Use iTunes? Write a Croncast review

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 16:14:23 -0600

You love us right? We make you happy 3 times a week? Which is more than most can say for other things, ahem.

We have a mission for you, Croncast lover . . . if you have iTunes or use it to get our shows we'd like to ask that you add a review at iTunes for us.

With the winter holidays on their way and all the new mp3 players as gifts people will be looking for stuff to fill it with. And what better than 7 days (168 Hours) of Croncast episodes? I can think of nothing better. Let the newbies know of your love.

Leave us a Review at iTunes

Tags: Croncast iTunes review Kris Smith Betsy Smith favor

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 148

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 10:28:48 -0600

Croncast - 2005-11-25.mp3

Show: #190
Length: 28:13
Size: 19.4 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 148

Show Notes

Post Thanksgiving release
Again with the Kris doesn't get it
Having a vagina makes holidays completely different
Hiding in the basement
Kris is "delightful and charming", words from the lips of Betsy
Playing board games at holidays
Put some Play-Doh in the game
Who are these people, strangers . . . relatives
Kris is so much fun
A support system for Betsy at the holidays
We're going to see the Rockettes on tour
Middle class education on party hosting
Setting a table is not it Betsy's future
Mother is stressing out
It is time to learn
Parental modeling crammed into one meal
What side do the forks go on?
When it is important to you it will matter
Horrendous pain with no cartilage
Dementia and labor pain
Stop your baby from screaming
No "black friday" shopping at this house
Begging Betsy for money to buy her gifts
On top of the kitchen sink
The Oprah 200 calorie work out
We can't even stick to that
Tuning out or throwing up
When Oprah says something it makes perfect sense to Betsy
It is all estrogen related
Why don't we eat out of tinfoil
Not even the same category
I could never be in Betsy's category
Maggie dressing up
Betsy . . . iron?
Pretending not having to
The weight of Betsy's domestic plate
The DVD
Von Maur again
Rich people smell nice . . . like there house
The blessings of American Girl dolls
Betsy's good karma leads her to the sales
Betsy tips her hand and can't ask for a discount
Resale
Punk rock daughter hooks Betsy up with a doll that has a soul
Making dolls in your trailer and then a billionaire
Before doll making
Mommy says I spent $130 on that
Elliot is daddy through and through

More shameless promotion for "We're Coming Over."

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Tags: betsy kris holidays croncast people