how to | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Season 28 Ep. 04: The Year That Was, 4 Bits, Over 1 Hour

Mon, 03 Jan 2011 21:50:50 -0600

Episode: #703 Season 28 Ep. 04 The Year That Was, 4 Bits, Over 1 Hour
Length: 1:00:54
Format: mp3

To listen:
1. Click the iTunes link above
2. Once iTunes opens click 'Subscribe' on the top left 'Croncast'
3. Enjoy

Hate iTunes and want to listen?
Head over to this player - http://vil.ag/6Njzxm

A full show to wrap up the year for those that still check the free feed
Flash Crash
Stop the Interview
Down In The Hole
Starbucks Name
Get on board with us for $4.49/month or less

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: croncast best of 2010 funniest podcast longest episode

Season 28 Episode 03: Full Episode!

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 18:12:54 -0600

Episode: #702 Season 28 Ep. 03 FULL
Length: 21:45
Format: mp3

To listen:
1. Click the iTunes link above
2. Once iTunes opens click 'Subscribe' on the top left 'Croncast'
3. Enjoy

Hate iTunes and want to listen?
Head over to this player - http://vil.ag/6Njzxm

A full show to wrap up the year for those that still check the free feed
Happy Merry Peace . . .
Get on board with us for $4.49/month or less

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: kris smith betsy smith 6 years podcast

Hitched For Love, Bus Surfing, Naked Cowboy

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 19:20:21 -0500

Episode: #608
Length: 23:58
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Kris is all bachelor up in NYC for a week
Betsy is in Sycamore, IL with Sis and kids
Never sit in the empty seat
Especially when with child and
Everyone else is standing on the bus
You can't hide it
The Naked Cowboy
He should be sponsored by Fruit of the Loom
Improv . . .
You should learn how to tell a story of your life
I got this one cold
But you lied to them
It wasn't a lie
OK, but you can really tell it now
Exactly
Home help nurse
The gold digger plan
All for love
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: naked cowboy bus surfing fruit of the loom sycamore

Season 24 Ep 08: The Croncast Shorty

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 19:09:52 -0500

Episode: #608 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:32
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: naked cowboy bus surfing fruit of the loom sycamore

Center Pieces, No Baby Prize, Elope Now

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 17:20:27 -0500

Episode: #604
Length: 27:20
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Fa Fa Fa Friday!
Great, great show today!!
Visualizing the date and month
On Facebook, right now
I never got to date her
I know that it is her birthday
That women is there
Well, happy birthday to the one Kris wishes he had
Making it out of a small town without having a kid is the grand prize
Anything after that is easy
Dating in the middle of Jersey
A minute is no longer a mile
A mile is no longer a minute
Totally upfront about getting it on with her
Is this a husband wife show?
You're my best friend at this moment
Good for you dude!
Total whore, total score
We're screwing around
Condomless
I will not be enticed
One that doesn't want to trapped
She totally wanted to catch a baby
If I were you I would have gone home and gotten a condom and come back
Can we get it back on dear?
I guess it is the Shilts blood pumping through my veins
That most blessed of all events
Getting hitched at 19
In a better universe you could come to my wedding
Just write a check
We could have done it up large in the Ozarks
Flip the wedding on it's head
Elope and go have some fun
I'm getting married . . .
Great . . .
Don't invite me
Find me a fat dress
Shiny to show off my creases
Damp white marks
Pay for it myself?
Yes.
We like the idea of rituals
It is the practice of rituals we're not so good at
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: wedding plans elope loose my mind married now fat dress

Season 24 Ep 04: A Sampling

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 17:06:11 -0500

Episode: #604 Sampler
Length: 4:10
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: wedding plans elope loose my mind married now fat dress

The New York Days Begin, Feral Las Vegas Cats, Costco Lust

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:45:58 -0600

Show: #536
Length: 40:05
Format: mp3

Thank you!
To all those that are cool . . . you rock!
If you're not cool, you can get cool
Why start on the 13th?
I can't avoid the number - I should embrace it
It's always in my address
Homeless guy that sleeps in front of only that address
Working on the streaming version player
Will be ready by Friday
How should I know that 3XL in gay is in XL?
I thought things were fancy in Naperville
Until I experienced Elliot's public school
Can anyone ring the bell at NYSE or NASDAQ?
Grammy tickets?
Where is this place and who are these people?
Having a nice car in New York
She has a huge Range Rover
What are we?
We're the Walking Class
Party at the wine bar for the parents
I don't have a baby sitter
No worries, my nanny can watch your kids too
Thanks but I can't get there
Don't worry my husband has a car service
I was just at Costco, you bitch
No idea how I would even get there
The suburban delights are missing here
No alone time here
What kind of hell is to be in Las Vegas for a week
You would sleep with a girl named Debra
I did leave Miss Debra to do her thing
My hotel turned out to be a motel
And yes it had feral cats
I could hear water dripping
Sure, that was the dead hooker in the wall
Fresh sponge paint on everything
If you had been raised with a vagina
You never would have accepted that room
Setting me for slaughter
I thought I was dead
You have a story to tell me Mr B
Friday, baby
It is too long
You went to a penthouse party in Las Vegas
No, a Penthouse party in the VIP
I've got no idea how to describe it

Tags: Get Cool NYSE The New York Days Miss Debra No tell motel

Structured Data: Follow-Up to Palegroove Blog Post

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 12:02:54 -0500

In the my previous post at Palegroove, "Improving your SEO with RSS in 3 easy steps," I shared some insight about how to setup your RSS feed URL's so that they are search engine friendly. After reading the post again, well, I missed explaining why search spiders like feeds so much. The answer is structured data.

PC Magazine defines structured data as, "Data that resides in fixed fields within a record or file. Relational databases and spreadsheets are examples of structured data. Contrast with unstructured data." I'm sure a future revised version will include XML or RSS ;-).

When your content is placed into feeds it has the benefit of being described by a template - structured data. It is described by elements in the feed the same as mine, CNN.com, Apple, Microsoft or anyone else with a RSS feed. RSS is the ubiquitous, defacto standard for syndication. The simplicity of RSS as a standard to describe your content's title, description, dates, content, enclosures, etc makes it a magic API for search engines, developers and database administrators. Your website doesn't do this. It is full of unstructured data.

On your site the post titles could be in a h1-6 tag, div or a legacy table cell with a style applied to it. This makes it harder for search engines to understand your content. Sure, there are insanely engineered algorithms that are in place to create associations between the content on your site and the code that is used to display it, but RSS makes it uniform and much easier for search companies to cache, categorize, rank and re-syndicate your ideas. The primary reason is that the feed describes the data types instead ot telling a browser how to display it.

So, like I said in the last post, "Treat your feeds with the same care that you do your pages," with the caveat that maybe you need to treat them better because the next iteration of the web is being built on structured data.

Tags: RSS SEO structured data feeds seo

Make better RSS feeds by not making them

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 08:00:20 -0500

Did you pick the content of the RSS feeds that you are syndicating from your site right now? Or did you let your readers pick?

Within reason my guess would be that most of you answered, yes then no. I know on my sites, even this site, I would have answered the same.

The solution isn't to create more feeds. The best solution is for publishers to create no feeds at all. Let your readers make their own.

Here are a couple examples why this is a better method for content syndication than relying on your own editorial skills.

Example 1: How not to do it.

Don't get me wrong on this, CNET is offering nearly all of its content up for syndication. This is an excellent strategy to create value from older content. However, do readers really need the option of subscribing to 100 plus predefined RSS feeds? Simply, no.

Finding feeds for the topics you are interested in is difficult. The worst of it is that you can only access them individually, i.e.; you want 10 of feeds, copy and paste them one by one into your feed reader. Sounds like a party to me. If you have more skills you might use a service that rolls all of them up into one feed for you. I would guess that about three people have done this.

Why overwhelm your readers like this? And besides, it is pretty intimidating for someone new to the RSS game. Shouldn't they be able to access your content in a way that makes it relevant to them?

Example 2: How to do RSS right.

What you see above is one of two flavors of how to let your readers pick what they receive in RSS feeds. It's a simple and easy to use text input that allows readers to enter keywords and phrases that they want in their feed. There's nothing fancy, easy access to old content in the straight-forward way that RSS is delivered; updates of the newest items first and set number items in the feed, usually twenty-five.

What the second screen shot shows is the magic of thinking differently about RSS feeds. This image demonstrates what happens when someone clicks on the 'advanced' link. The reader is then given control over every aspect of the RSS feed. They choose the content, when it is delivered, how much content, in what order (none of this newest stuff first mumbo jumbo - great use for episodic content) and how many updates to get at a time.

Who is better to choose than the person doing the consuming? RSS needs to be like Burger King where a customer can have it their way.

When this concept is applied to large volumes of content the value of it increases with each new article or podcast. Imagine if you could have this type of access at the NY Times or with your local paper. Even the obits from 30 years ago are now of value again. Value to the reader and value to the publisher with ad inventory.

The future of content syndication isn't in prescriptive channels created by publishers. The future is in the subjective choices of the consumer. They neither need or want every product that you have to offer.

We need to be smarter about our syndicated content via RSS and take into consideration how to make that user experience more satisfying. Whether it is by allowing users to pick topics or order of updates, something needs to change. Why? Because it is all about attention; the premium of which is measured in subscribers, influence and the influence of those subscribers.

Tags: RSS CNET readers consumers interaction

Season 21 Ep 24: The Mexico Part 3

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:52:03 -0500

Croncast - 2009-03-30.mp3
Show: #524
Length: 41:24
Size: 38 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

When, when, when, when
This was supposed to go out Friday
Maggie has been insanely sick
What happens when you read all of these Oprah books?
It should come with a six pack of Xanax
Difficult times?
Write a book
You need to change your name to Kristina
Sending email as Kris Smith
People would respond to me as a woman<
br> So I had to make it Kristopher Smith Wait, Mr B
I have to give a shout out to Carrie, thanks for coming to my show
The Mexico Part 3 begins now
Betsy, you are at the buffet, go . . .
If I had known that they served guacamole breakfast, lunch and dinner
Standing at the buffet
A woman sidles up next to me
"What part of Canada are you from?"
I speak like that because I lived in Milwaukee for a few years
Where's that?
Wisconsin
Is that a big city?
All the push ups that you do
They could throw a rock at it
She was wearing the crocs
Then I scanned the room and it was covered in crocs
That is he face of colonialism
Later . . .
I'm the only American
What is the most expensive shit you got behind this bar?
Grand Marnier on the rocks the entire trip
Do you want to know how to cook the guacamole?
He was like a bull fighter
Super hot
Fellas watch out for this
They will whisk you wife away
The Italian says, "You mean this prison"
You must leave this compound
They will take you to the jungle
They get electricity for 2 hours a day
It is wonderful
Deciding to go deep see fishing
How did you get over the shark fear?
We were stuck at the front gate
How many signs do you need?
It was like a road block
We were there on a gift certificate
I'm thinking that this will be so nice
The authentic Mexican experience awaits
We get to the place
Sure, it would have have been authentic
But didn't the charter company name tell you all you needed to know?
Captain Rick's
It should have
Yeah, if it were Captain Ricardo's
On the boat with a Canada
They start swearing at us in Spanish
Turns out I am the only one that knows it
I kept my mouth shut
Betsy catches Dory (see photo in post)
"Chocha Grande"
How is the fish doing?
Mas muerto
They pull it back into the boat
Cut up Dory and turned her into chum
We had Captain Bicho
More protected species were caught
Chopped and chum
Chocha account is over 11 at this point
I'm the bloke, right
Don't be a chocha Mr B

Tags: Crocs Canadian Tourists The Mexico GrandMarnier

No show today

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:43:20 -0600

Hey guys, pretty sure you figured this one out but there is no show for today. Things around casa de Smith have been pretty nuts since Monday and for the immediate future it will probably continue.

With that said, you can expect a Friday show to follow Betsy's opening night at the Comedy Shrine here in Naperville. I'm sure it will follow our example of 'life is show prep'.

Tags: Comedy Shrine Naperville Besty Smith improv naperville

mothering the big one no show today

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:26:39 -0500

my view from the couch today.

Betsy has been great today making sure that I had enough to drink today and making fun of me on every trip to the manpit.

Tags: making drink fun trip manpit

Late Show Today

Fri, 16 May 2008 13:33:00 -0500

I'm sure many of you have figured this out but today's show is late. We'll get the show out later this evening so that you can have something to keep you occupied over the weekend.

Tags: Croncast iTunes review Kris Smith Betsy Smith

Season 20 Ep 15: Dumpster Golf, Penny Drop, Fancy Hood

Mon, 12 May 2008 13:54:32 -0500

Croncast - 2008-05-12.mp3
Show: #490
Length: 19.6
Size: 28:32 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

Betsy likes the amens to her sermons
Now they can tell me to mow my lawn
We are way more boring than the show
The picture in her head of you was repulsive
Good thing she didn't see a real picture
I despise this time of year the most
Why?
The grass grows
I hate the mowing
Pulling back that shade for bits of sunlights
I am the Boo Radley of the neighborhood
I have been honing my skills without you
Something new to the Resale Queen toolbox
Not the Billy Squire stroke
A body bag full of bubble wrap
A body bag?
I tried to do a Penny Drop
That was for those of you that too kindergarten gymnastics
Tetanus shot for junking license
I had to have the bubble wrap
So I went to Goodwill
Fast like a bunny
I bought a Titleist
Golf club
We playing gold today mommy?
Yes, Maggie, dumpster golf
Your Titleist for dumpster diving
Your like a gorilla in the mist
Your people were the strain that hung on the jungle floor
Mine were smarter and more motivated
Now, I bring home the bananas
It's all about who brings home the bacon
I am forever grateful that you make enough for me to dig in a dumpster
We found your wife, sir.
Behind what store?
It could be worse, I could be a scrap booker
It is a services
I'm not going to mess with these women
They are serious
Treating things better
Betsy flattens a tire on my car
I'm driving slow on your rim
You were right next to the car dealership
Why didn't you just go there?
You used to recruit truck drivers, you talk to him
Sorry to be so vaginal
I just gave up
Why is he trying to change the tire?
Does he know how to change a tire?
Yeah, that's a lot of money for a fancy hood
They say that to a lot of women who get labia surgery too

Tags: Titleist gold club the bacon penny drop gymnastics

late show today - via twitter

Wed, 07 May 2008 13:24:03 -0500

things are crazy for me with work and betsy is gonzo with the kids. show in about 3 hours.

Tags: betsy smith croncast kris smith

Airport shoes means no show today

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 06:52:28 -0500

Really, it does.

With some unexpected travel this week Betsy and I won't have a show up today :-(.

But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't catch up on shows, find a previous one that made you laugh ridiculously in public or tell every cube dweller near you to listen.

I'll be in San Francisco thru Friday night if anyone wants to meetup send me a txt 630.615.0238 or leave a comment and we can get a drink.

Tags: san francisco web 2.0 expo w2e listen dweller

Croncast Listener Survey Results Continued

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 18:27:16 -0500

The results continued. These were the likes and dislikes of fellow listeners.

What Listeners Like
Date	Comment
01/30/2008	Its hilarious attitude
01/10/2008	The way they talk about their lives, it is hilarious and endearing all at once.
01/07/2008	The chemistry between Kris and Betsy and the humor.
01/02/2008	Betsy and Chris are funny and real people.
12/31/2007	Very funny.
12/29/2007	real
12/28/2007	They are ""My People""
12/26/2007	Betsy & Kris are great together! The fact that they talk about ""nothing"" & can create a funny show out of it reminds be of Seinfeld. You guys ROCK!!Keep it up.
12/20/2007	The humor. They are normal people who actually like and support each other.
11/02/2007	Host are very entertaining
10/29/2007	Betsy!
10/23/2007	The hosts are great, its real life only funny
10/23/2007	Extremely funny
10/22/2007	it's hilarious!
10/22/2007	I like the hosts personally.
10/18/2007	This is the funniest podcast out there. I feel like they are my friends.
10/11/2007	they are so fucking funny!
10/04/2007	It is constantly entertaining, my favorite podcast out there.
10/03/2007	great banter between hosts
10/03/2007	Betsy and Kris do a wonderful job of airing out their lives on the air in a way that is real, funny, and sometimes even JUST A Little bit uncomfortable. Their lucky they got all that expensive equipment between them while their doing the show. In the future I see bullet proof glass..... LOL Just kidding. The show length is perfect, spot on, no waste on predetermined montages or business or reader mail or anything that's just filler to try and get a longer show. about 30 minutes or less is PERFECT. They're both Hilarious (a little respect for the Bear).
09/13/2007	I love the energy between the hosts
09/10/2007	they make me laugh out loud! and i can relate to them.
09/07/2007	lively realism
09/07/2007	the ""humaness"" of it
09/05/2007	Funny!!!
09/05/2007	Kris's laugh
09/04/2007	hilarious!!! Love Betsey and Chris, they are so funny and personable
09/04/2007	Kris and Betsy make me laugh out loud all the time.
08/29/2007	The interaction between Kris and Betsy
08/29/2007	The fact that I feel like I'm in a similar boat. Former cool guy/punk rocker turned daddy dearest.
08/29/2007	Betsy and Kris are so funny and entertaining.
08/29/2007	The real world approach to podcasting.
08/27/2007	betsy and kris
08/26/2007	Kris and Betsy are PRICELESS!!! I enjoy everything about this podcast. They are parents just like my husband and I and I can really relate to most of what they talk about. Keep it up!
08/22/2007	Honest, funny, and always entertaining.
08/06/2007	Betsy and Kris are hilarious. It's just a fun part of my week to listen to them.
08/03/2007	funny entertaining,
07/30/2007	The hosts are very entertaining.
07/29/2007	the humor. the hosts don't take themselves too seriously.
07/11/2007	The way Kris and Betsy interact.
07/10/2007	the hosts
07/09/2007	The humorous banter between the hosts. Hilarious!
07/09/2007	Great personalities, good audio quality, consistent and reliable.
07/06/2007	Betsy Smith
06/29/2007	They're a couple like me and my wife. Living vicariously through them, at times
06/19/2007	You guys are FUNNY! These questions are funny - I especially like the one that asks how much confidence we have in your ability to select cars... ;)
06/19/2007	The funny Hosts. Betsy is great.
06/16/2007	It's funny most of the time.
06/15/2007	The hosts
06/14/2007	Hilarious!

06/13/2007	FUN!
06/10/2007	They are funny and witty. Its a perfect combination of ornery and nice!
06/09/2007	I like everything about it. No special part. All of it. Takes me back to my young parent days!
06/08/2007	We(wife & I) and the podcast team are at the about the same place in life. I relate to what they normally talk about.
05/27/2007	Betsy! The real-life stories are extremely entertaining.
05/26/2007	I truly appreciate how Kris and Betsy allow me to share their lives. At times, Betsy make the mundane so hilarious that I've had to pull the car over. Thanks guys.
05/25/2007	Rapport of the hosts. Great conversational quality.
05/15/2007	Great back and forth banter between hosts. They are realistic, funny,and honest. Show reminds me of Seinfeld in that it's a show about nothing in particular just the quirks of life. I can relate with both of the hosts humor, and to Betsy's addiction to thrift stores. When Mr. B laughs really hard it's so funny!
05/13/2007	it's funny and charming to hear two people that like each other and are able to joke about each other.
05/13/2007	cool people
05/11/2007	The honesty of the hosts.
05/09/2007	Genuine Humor & the way the hosts mesh with each other
05/02/2007	Both Kris and Betsy. Their personalities complement each other perfectly. The interaction between them comes off as very ""Real"", They turn the mundane into entertainment consistantly. After all....life is show prep.
05/01/2007	Fantastic humor
04/30/2007	Chemistry between co-hosts and commentary on real-life events.
04/29/2007	It is entertaining and fun.
04/29/2007	Kris & Betsy sound authentic
04/28/2007	the day to day life of betsy
04/21/2007	The everday humor.
04/21/2007	Two people, funny
04/15/2007	The funny banter!
04/12/2007	They are the most ""real"" married couple on the planet -- absolute pure honesty and openness.
04/09/2007	The comedy aspect
04/05/2007	Chris and Betsy are very funny and creative folks.
04/02/2007	excellent humor, friendly hosts, good storytelling
03/23/2007	Croncast was a charming podcast in the early days; it becomes more difficult to listen to as Chris' ego expands. Betsy remains a joy to listen to.
03/13/2007	It's funny!
03/12/2007	The Hosts
03/07/2007	Hosts and everyday conversation that keeps me laughing.
03/07/2007	The interaction between the co-hosts and great story-telling.
03/07/2007	The hosts
03/04/2007	I have been listening since January of 2005 and I am totally hooked! Chris and Betsy are extremely funny and entertaining. When you listen to them, it is like having a conversation with your friends. I listen on my iPOD at work and I am constantly laughing out loud. The sound quality is excellent! It is definitely professional sounding. I took this for granted until I subscribed to other podcasts with poor sound (and ended up unsubcribing to them). Keep up the good work!
03/03/2007	FUNNY! (and real)
03/01/2007	Honest conversation
03/01/2007	They're my age and I can relate to the things they talk about. They make me laugh.
03/01/2007	Their relationship and how they both make me laugh: one by her stories and the other by his laugh! They are wonderful people and they have made me feel like one of the family.
03/01/2007	the hosts, content and audio quality
02/28/2007	very entertaining and fun
02/28/2007	They are just fun to listen to. Betsy is funny and so is Chris. I look forward to each episode.
02/27/2007	the hosts! The natural way they interact with each other and the hilarious things that come out of their mouths.
02/27/2007	The hosts are very funny. It reminds ne of sitting with friends in a social situation and discussing and making fun of various topics.
02/27/2007	Relationship between hosts
02/27/2007	It's fun to listen to... What else could there be?
02/26/2007	I like this podcast because I like to listen to people with lots of problems.
02/26/2007	It's funny. It's about every day life as a married couple and as a family. They pay attention to listener's feedback.
02/26/2007	Betsy
02/26/2007	Funny, good storytelling, reality based
02/26/2007	Hosts/content/Reliability
02/26/2007	I love the hosts - Kris and Betsy. They are very transparent and real and completely fun to listen to. They make the basic stuff of life hilarious.
02/26/2007	The interaction between the hosts. The stories about everyday life.

02/25/2007	The interaction between Kris & Betsy and their good outlook on life.
02/25/2007	lively, animated banter
02/25/2007	I just can't quit them.
02/24/2007	it is human and it is funny
02/24/2007	Good off-the-cuff humor.
02/24/2007	Kris and Betsy make me laugh and are just generally likable.
02/24/2007	Down to earth naature of the hosts, humor, excellent story-telling
02/24/2007	I'm an American living abroad and I listen to this religiously ... not for news, just to hear what everyday folks are up to. It's funny and interesting. This podcast rocks. Betsy and Kris are the greatest.
02/24/2007	Exceptionally engaging, funny hosts, warmth, interesting content, very high production values.
02/23/2007	the hosts
02/23/2007	Always funny and interesting
02/23/2007	Chris and Betsy are funny. It is very entertaining.
02/23/2007	Funny and comfortable
02/23/2007	the humor and interactions between the hosts
02/23/2007	I look forward to listening each week because Kris and Betsy are so entertaining. There is NO other podcast out there that gets me laughing the way they do.
02/23/2007	They are hilarious and personable. They amke you feel like you're listening to friends. But funny friends.
02/23/2007	this is the most awesome podcast that I listen to, Betsy and Chris are the best and incredibly funny. There shows are always entertaining, no if ands or buts
02/23/2007	I have no idea. It is infectuous though. They are good together.
02/23/2007	Rapport between Kris and Betsy. Overlap between my areas of interest and life issues and theirs. General witty and clever and funny outlook on life, even when it sucks.
02/23/2007	Chemistry of the hosts.
02/22/2007	they are just like us...but my goatee is shorter and i have hair on my head
02/22/2007	laid back, down to earth, Not a big production, can relate with hosts
02/22/2007	Kris and Betsy are extremely funny, down to earth, real.
02/22/2007	I really enjoy Kris and Betsy. I love their relationship and their interaction. They're very funny.
02/22/2007	Betsy is funny as shit... Kris is like robin to her batman
02/22/2007	Rapport between hosts.
02/22/2007	The ability of the Host's to play off of each other's humor. Play arguments.
02/22/2007	I really enjoy the fun the hosts have with each other. The closeness of their relationship comes through in each show.
02/21/2007	The hosts are great! Open, honest, funny and real. This is one of the five best podcasts in the known world!
02/21/2007	Nice mix of humor and serious topics. Nice banter between the hosts.
02/21/2007	Consistently entertaining
02/21/2007	They make me laugh everytime, in the way that my friends make me laugh...they are great fun and as a married person i highly identfy with some of the stuff they talk about.
02/21/2007	No ads. It is honest people talking, it doesn't have a staged quality to it.
02/21/2007	Hearing a married couple deal with similar issues that other 30-something couples face, but in thier own unique way.
02/21/2007	It is extremely funny and entertaining.
02/21/2007	the hosts
02/21/2007	Real people. Real situations. Funny as all get out.
02/21/2007	Kris
02/21/2007	the hosts
02/21/2007	Kris and Betsy are really funny and could be my next door neighbor except better.
02/21/2007	Life the Smith way!
02/21/2007	Lively private conversation between married folk
02/21/2007	I LOVE BETSY and Kris :)
02/21/2007	The dynamics of Kris & Betsy. They just have interesting conversations.
02/21/2007	The hosts are one of a kind. My wife and I can really relate to them. They are very enjoyable to listen to. I can't count the number of times I have laughed out loud while listening. They should get paid to do what they do.
02/21/2007	It's kinda funny sometimes. You can listen without really paying attention
02/20/2007	It is extremely intelligent and absolutely hilarious...very engaging!
02/20/2007	personalities
02/20/2007	The dynamic between Kris and Betsy is wonderful. Their relationship isn't perfect, but they obviously love each other and that's what makes it great. Plus they are both EXTREMELY funny.
02/20/2007	Content, Hosts,

02/20/2007	The realism. The bickering. Reminds me of my wife and myself. Just bickering sometimes to have something to talk about, pick a fight just to fight and get over it and have fun.
02/20/2007	The chemistry between Kris & Betsy.
02/20/2007	the humor of the hosts
02/20/2007	It's a slice of life that's clever and funny. The hosts have a wonderful rappor with each other and I love how they are able to make you feel like it's all in fun, like no matter what underneath it all they love each other and that's all that really counts.
02/20/2007	Honesty. Hilarity.
02/20/2007	The easy way that the hosts are able to interact with each other. Even when they are slightly ticked off - they will laugh easily and they project their relationship into the podcast. All technical details of the podcast are A+.
02/20/2007	honesty
02/20/2007	The personalities of the hosts.
02/20/2007	the humor. I can relate to them and the way they interact as a couple. I highly enjoy the banter and fun wacky topics.
02/20/2007	the frequency of podcasts, content, humor
02/20/2007	It's hilarious
02/20/2007	Comedy
02/20/2007	Kris & Betsy
02/20/2007	Reel life with real friends.
02/20/2007	Humor & relationship between hosts
02/20/2007	As half of a married couple living in the suburbs of Detroit with two kids, I relate to the content of the podcast. They make me laugh!
02/20/2007	It cheers me up.
02/20/2007	It makes me laugh
02/19/2007	Kris' laugh and Betsy's sense of humor
02/19/2007	The hosts - Betsy and Kris (the side-kick). They just brighten up my day.
02/19/2007	Betsy's ability to put up with her husband's interesting viewpoints.
02/19/2007	It's funny.
02/19/2007	very entertaining
02/19/2007	People involved it's the kind of show that only works with Betsy/ Chris so it's hard to pick anything you can do more of
02/19/2007	I like the banter back and forth between Betsy and Mr B - they argue like my husband and I do. Also, the frequency of the episodes. 3 times a week feeds wonderfully into my attention deficit disorder ;)
02/19/2007	The Hosts
02/19/2007	The chemistry between the hosts is wonderful. Betsy is hilarious. Kris seems like a completely genuine, nice guy. Together, they are entertaining and seem completely ""for real.""
02/19/2007	the great sense of humor and intimacy of the hosts.
02/19/2007	Chemistry between the hosts Quality of editing
02/19/2007	banter between the hosts.
02/19/2007	Kris and Betsy are terrific! Their conversations are the highlight of my week!
02/19/2007	everything
02/19/2007	it's fun to listen to.
02/19/2007	I love the chemistry that Kris and Betsy have. I also love how they can tell interesting stories that are funny as hell.
02/19/2007	funny, real life experiences oh, did I mentioned funny
02/19/2007	The hosts
02/19/2007	Tone and sense of humor exhibited by hosts!
02/19/2007	Betsy and Kris arguing
02/19/2007	Betsy, Betsy, and Betsy
02/19/2007	The hosts
02/19/2007	Life is show prep. they have very a similar lifestyle to us. They're local
02/19/2007	Hearing real stories about the everyday life of the hosts.
02/19/2007	The hosts are entertaining and work great together. I know when I listen to this podcast I will be entertained.
02/19/2007	Listening is like having a conversation with friends
02/19/2007	Various well told extremely funny stories, the consistency of new episodes, good quality.
02/19/2007	They are funny, real, and are a great couple

What Listeners Don't Like
01/30/2008	Nothing
01/10/2008	That they're stopping! Please, do something!
01/02/2008	I wish they were making big money from the podcast.
12/31/2007	When it's not on.
12/29/2007	the hosts are hostile to each other sometimes and the man laughs at nothing
12/28/2007	format changes but since the hosts have a real life I understand the necessity.
12/26/2007	The intro & outgo.
12/20/2007	They think we only want to hear about the good times. We want to hear about the trials, too.
11/02/2007	I like everything
10/29/2007	The way Betsy disses Kris' family. I mean come on...
10/23/2007	Occasional liberal/Democratic skew.
10/22/2007	nothing
10/22/2007	No complaints.
10/18/2007	There is nothing I don't like about it. I guess only that they are not getting rich doing it because they deserve it.
10/11/2007	kris's laugh
10/04/2007	Sometimes it is too short, I wish they had hour long podcasts.
10/03/2007	no reader from webpage?
10/03/2007	I can never catch up it seems always 2 or 3 behind.
09/13/2007	nothing
09/10/2007	that they aren't on everyday!!
09/07/2007	should be daily
09/07/2007	no video associated with it
09/05/2007	nothin'
09/04/2007	Just that I'm SO far behind in listening to episodes! (About 2 weeks behind)
08/29/2007	Sometimes it's too short
08/29/2007	It's too short!
08/29/2007	The sound of running water. It makes me have to pee.
08/27/2007	its too short sometimes but i guess kris and betsy can have a life
08/26/2007	Not one thing!
08/22/2007	Doesn't come out often enough!
08/03/2007	sometimes shows are not long enough, granted, they don't make a living off this!
07/30/2007	That they only put out a show 3 times a week.
07/11/2007	The episodes are over too quickly!
07/10/2007	i like it all, no complaints
07/06/2007	Kris Smith. He simply doesn't get how life works.
06/19/2007	Nothing comes to mind about the show. I do have a suggestion for you though - how about doing an idiot's guide to RSS feeds on the show? I haven't monkeyed around enough to get the episodes to download to my pc automatically so I can move them to my phone's memory card. I think that's what RSS is for, but I haven't had the time to mess around with it to figure it out. I know Kris knows how to do it - why not do a 5-minute tutorial on the show about how to do it? -Jennifer in San Diego (your alter ego, Dave's, wife)
06/19/2007	Life is sometimes a little boring....
06/16/2007	The new intro music.
06/15/2007	Nothing
06/10/2007	can't think of a thing
06/09/2007	There is nothing about it I don't like. Keep up the great work.
06/08/2007	They interupt each other during stories and go off on tangents, and sometimes forget to finish the original story.
05/27/2007	I have very little that I dislike about the show.
05/26/2007	I would not change a thing. I was glad to see the music between segments go.
05/25/2007	That is isn't every day of the week.
05/15/2007	Not much I don't like about the show, but one time they had a guest on, a female family friend who they were trying to find a boyfriend for and she had the worst east coast accent. It wasn't kind on the ears at all, especially for west coast listeners. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
05/13/2007	Kris annoys me sometimes. I think he thinks he's funnier than he is.
05/13/2007	sometimes weird edits
05/11/2007	Beginning music, abrupt ending, the bits of music throughout (nice idea, but they don't work).
05/09/2007	Way to much bad language

05/02/2007	Since the return of the show it seems like something is missing. I'm not sure exactly what it is. Also some of the shows seem to be rather short.
04/30/2007	Sometimes a little too much time is spent examining the clammy white underbelly of middle-American life.
04/29/2007	the language makes it difficult to listen to around my kids
04/29/2007	Can't think of anything
04/21/2007	Nothing, I love everything about it.
04/15/2007	The fact that they feel they need to edit themselves for us.
04/12/2007	Nothing.
03/13/2007	The cussing.
03/12/2007	It is too short
03/07/2007	Wish it was more often ;=) I think the website is a bit confusing.
03/07/2007	there's not really anything i don't like.
03/07/2007	nothing
03/04/2007	Not much to dislike. Maybe a show one or two times per week instead of three.
03/03/2007	nothing negative, really
03/01/2007	Episodes too frequent, twice a week would be better. Don't have time for 3 episodes a week
03/01/2007	I've just started listening and I caught a couple episodes where Kris was sick so it was 85etsy and that just didn't work as well. You need the calm of Kris to even out the excitability of Betsy.
03/01/2007	They don't podcast 2x's a day every day forever and ever and ever..duh!
03/01/2007	I can't listen to it around my kids.
02/28/2007	nothing
02/28/2007	not much
02/27/2007	I dont expect everyone to like everything but it bothers me occasionally when Kris gets adamant on how much he dislikes bicyclists or pets.
02/27/2007	Sound of mother-in-law's bath water running in background.
02/27/2007	Unnecessary use of strong language in an otherwise pretty family-friendly show.
02/26/2007	The cussing!!!
02/26/2007	sometimes, not always it can be a bit long.
02/26/2007	Not much to dislike
02/26/2007	Pretty much no complaints.
02/25/2007	The times when I want to scream at them when they're about to do something really stupid with their money again (cf. Slowsky, calculating eBay earnings but ignoring the fees)
02/25/2007	would like more frequent shows
02/25/2007	I just can't quit them.
02/24/2007	The host's sometimes frustrating inability to see how they sabotage themselves in reaching their goals.
02/24/2007	It makes me very uneasy when Kris and Betsy argue.
02/24/2007	Not often enough
02/24/2007	Hosts occasionally talking over each other.
02/23/2007	nada
02/23/2007	I wish it were every day. :)
02/23/2007	nothing...
02/23/2007	I wouldn't change a thing! My only worry is that someday they'll burn out and stop podcasting. :)
02/23/2007	huh... nothing...
02/23/2007	that it isn't everyday.
02/23/2007	The fact that I can't put my finger on why I can't stop listening to it.
02/23/2007	Month-long breaks ;)
02/23/2007	When they have to take time off. Though I understand.
02/22/2007	strange women lying around in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government, supreme executive power comes from a mandate from the masses, not from some farsical aquatic ceremony
02/22/2007	Sometimes they skip around topics alot
02/22/2007	Its not a daily podcast.
02/22/2007	When it ends.
02/21/2007	I just wish there was more, more, more!
02/21/2007	Hosts occasionally step on one another
02/21/2007	wish shows were either more frequent or longer, although wouldn't want to see what happened to nick and jess happen to them...therefore, frequency and length are fine - lol

02/21/2007	that they are taking a break soon!
02/21/2007	The upcoming podcast boycott, er, break they are taking !!!! :(
02/21/2007	Sometimes the hosts do crazy things and I want to jump through my iPod and snap them out of their decision to do something irrational.
02/21/2007	nothing
02/21/2007	That I can't listen more.
02/21/2007	Taking month off.
02/21/2007	John Elway Dodge
02/21/2007	Kris rags on Betsy too much.
02/21/2007	Kris' angry rants. I don't like when he threatens the dog.
02/21/2007	Nothing. Croncast is great. Wait, the podcast name is little too geeky.
02/21/2007	I hate it when Kris builds some big thing up for a future episode, then it turns out he just got a new job.
02/20/2007	There is nothing that I do not like about this podcast.
02/20/2007	nothing
02/20/2007	I have nothing to complain about regarding their podcasts. Never been unsatisfied.
02/20/2007	Too short
02/20/2007	The fact that they're taking a month off. You bastards. I'm just gonna have to argue that much more with my own wife to make up for the lack of you bickering. :P
02/20/2007	Not applicable
02/20/2007	the length and frequency, would love longer shows more often (sorry guys, but I love you and it's true!)
02/20/2007	I guess it's allegience to the glossy surface of popular culture without acknowledging or investigating the bredth of possibility below that surface - but that is just a token issue, I had to think about it to come up with something I didn't like.
02/20/2007	It's not a travelling vaudeville show.
02/20/2007	Sometimes I wish the hosts would seek the help of some financial planning professionals. They could then be more confident in the choices they make - and relate on the podcast.
02/20/2007	making a big deal about something that is boring?
02/20/2007	The fact that there aren't 5 podcasts per week!
02/20/2007	only complaint is that it's not daily!
02/20/2007	There is nothing I don't like about this podcast
02/20/2007	Sometimes Betsy is too mean to Kris!
02/20/2007	Not much...
02/20/2007	A live event would be interesting to hear.
02/20/2007	Swearing / foul language
02/20/2007	Sometimes Kris and Betsy's real life interupts their ability to get shows out. But... that's life.
02/20/2007	sometimes the same topic gets discussed over and over again
02/20/2007	I like everything
02/19/2007	That Kris and Betsy aren't making any money on it! They are hysterical, I would pay for that!
02/19/2007	That Betsy and Kris sound like they are about to give up doing the podcast.
02/19/2007	Chris' political views.
02/19/2007	Not much.
02/19/2007	i wish it were every day
02/19/2007	Same as above, jsut hard to think of what you can do less of
02/19/2007	hmmmmmmmm...I wish each episode was longer? Because I'm greedy like that?
02/19/2007	Nothing
02/19/2007	Nothing! It's fabulous the way it is!
02/19/2007	sometimes repetitive subjects, and episodes just to churn out more episodes even when they don't have too much to say
02/19/2007	swearing
02/19/2007	I wish there was more!
02/19/2007	I really don't have any complaints about this podcast.
02/19/2007	nothing
02/19/2007	the dog
02/19/2007	Very little. I'm not thrilled that the hosts are taking a month off, but I know this is a big time commitment for them.
02/19/2007	Betsy and Kris talking about the dog
02/19/2007	Sometimes the hosts are braindead.

02/19/2007	Nothing
02/19/2007	Would like to have more episodes per week.
02/19/2007	That they are on only 3 times a week. But that is me being selfish.
02/19/2007	Nothing comes to mind.
02/19/2007	Only 3times a week, :)

Tags: Croncast Survey Kris Smith Betsy Smith Advertising Croncast Demographics

Season 19 Ep 24: Moral Compass, I can't tell you, ABBA

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 07:30:12 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-24.mp3
Show: #471
Length: 26:34
Size: 18.9mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Wish I had done show notes last night
Trying to the show to download from my phone isn't going too quickly
OK, here's what I got
The laughing intro
Betsy has to stop
She can't handle not making fun of me
Oh, Mr B
You'll be gone for 3 days
You're boyfriend would come out of the closet
How did I slip through?
If it were 1950 I would be married to a gay man
Now they're strolling to Erasure hand in hand
Isn't that ABBA?
Whitney was for the queens too?
Yes, Kris
Why do you think they like me so much?
That is what will hold you back from being a republican
No that would be my moral compass
It's called empathy
Henry is still trying to make me a republican
You have a manic nature with work
Just put a chip in me
Interfacing with machines would be much easier
What did you just think?
I won't be held to testify, I can't tell you

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: ABBA Republican moral compass betsy smith

Presidentologists do it better (late show today)

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 07:20:10 -0600

President's Day is a really big day for us. We usually celebrate it by throwing a party for our friends and other President worshipers. We've never told anyone this before but we are Presidentologists.

Yes, it is true.

One day Abraham L. will come back for us in his wooden, beaver pelt powered spaceship. He will take with him only the believers.

If I drive by an auto accident, I can look at it and know that myself and the other Presidentologists are the only people who can truly help those injured in it.

For these reasons the today's show will be later this afternoon. We've got some rituals to finish at the water park.

Tags: president's day presidentology religion of the people water park

AdSense for Mobile but not for RSS?

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 12:37:36 -0600

There is no such thing as AdSense for RSS.

Google has run a closed beta for AdSense in feeds for nearly 3 years (that's like a billion internet years) and acquired a company that got feed advertising down to a science but there still is no AdSense for RSS.

So what gives? This a great opportunity to increase distribution of ad inventory and generate more revenue for publishers - the very people that make all Google services valuable.

My feathers are so ruffled on this because Google has figured out how to make AdSense for feeds work, for everyone. It's called AdSense for Mobile.

AdSense for Mobile has dumped the JavaScript copy and paste for server side execution in PHP, CGI/Perl, JSP and ASP. All four of these languages are magic bullets for putting AdSense in RSS feeds.

Why? There are a couple of reasons:

1. Most feeds are generated by blogging platforms that are built on these languages
2. JavaScript is needed to display AdSense ads and RSS feeds with JavaScript embedded in them aren't valid. Which means that most aggregators won't even allow you to add the feed. If they do it won't execute and will display the code inline.

So how do I know this this server side scripting will work?

I tried building an ad network with OpenAds for RSS feeds and very quickly came up against the JS issue for serving dynamic or keyword ads. I spent a couple of hours figuring a way to make it work, very similarly, with just PHP. So when I saw the mobile ads I thought "Bingo. This is it!"

Another reason that I know the mobile code would work for RSS is that by making a simple tweak to the mobile code that is supplied by AdSense I was able to serve the ads in my browser and output them as XHTML.

If a publisher took this modified code and put it in their feeds and made sure that it is placed in a CDATA section within a given name space like they could run AdSense ads. It's just that right now, the ads are formatted for mobile with phone numbers as links instead of urls and the publisher would probably get booted from the program.

Work with us feed freaks on this Google. It's time to stop policing the spigot, you've got the tech in place. Give us a taste.

Tags: AdSense RSS advertising mobile ads AdSense JavaScript

late show today (again) - via twitter

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 13:31:09 -0600

sorry everyone but today's show will be a little late. betsy had to register maggie for school. it is recorded.

Tags: late podcast

Season 19 Ep 6: Hire Kris, Styrofoam Cups, All Caps

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 09:52:39 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-18.mp3
Show: #452
Length: 28:19
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

View Kris's resume or download it

You wanted more than Wheel of Fortune?
Now you got it
Sure you want it
How to tickle a nerd?
Let us see funny stuff in our stats
From Google searches
Yeah I look for the search term
You know that your IT people got their space
They all need a little space
Evidently we are more exciting than a blue haired lot lizard
Those I dig, they were funny
I'm glad you are getting tickled
Not those industries
If I could reach a lower point in my wife's eyes . . . don't know what it is
Things couldn't be going much worse for me
Instead of life preservers I'm getting styrofoam cups
I am smiling and laughing because I know you are on cusp of something terrrible
Monday was going to awesome
Back story
Interviewing and meeting with people
Turns out they didn't want me for the job that I had applied for
We really want you
What do you want to do?
What would you want me to do if I worked here?
What does my resume say to you?
In all honesty, I haven't read it
Nice
So they loved me
For the last two months we'll get back to you
We are figuring this out
We know how to make it happen
When job hunting you are in a hurry but no one else is
The key is to not come off desperate
I asked what the culture was like
Sure I ended up over dressed
I'm applying for every job that I can
Everything and anything
Manager at Caribou Coffee, you bet
Come Monday most likely we'll be selling the Maguar
We've learned a lot over the last two years
Kris explains how his job ended
Next time all the other cats get gone
We did the best thing we could do at the time
If I would have waited three weeks I might not have had a job
We thought being proactive would be better
Betsy is keeping us afloat in food and small bills with china sales
The eBay sales have been
Listen, it even gets worse
I am fucking everything up
It's me
I'm not doing it on purpose
But it is surely me
Betsy runs her business like a busy mommy
So she gets an all caps email
Directed at the software that she sold for me
It's not my fault he doesn't get it
Oh, my God I am going to kill Kris
For this software, you have to be a nerd!!!!
If you aren't you won't even know what this software is
Not just a nerd but an audio nerd to know what Yellow Tools is
Yeah, I went after him
Not my fault he typed in all caps
Reaching pretty low lows
Wasn't listening to the Wheel shows better?
Man, this is depressing
Got a line on a gig?

Tags: styrofoam google searches low lows Wheel of Fortune interviewing

How to tickle a nerd

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 07:32:56 -0600

Do you know how this is done?

I can tell you how to tickle this nerd. And not it that way, pervert.

I check stats on Croncast many times a day, usually paying great attention to the searches that come in from Google and few months I noticed that someone was sending messages by searching for "croncast 'your funny quip here'" and then clicking through to the site. Funny stuff. So we asked people to do that for a contest of sorts and we read them on the show.

Today, someone searched these gems that I can't pass up sharing:

croncast better than mail order colostomy
croncast more satisfying than blue haired lot lizard
croncast cured my tennis elbow with a magic eraser

These are the types of things that make checking stats fun, and not to be forgotten, doing the show.

Tags: Google site search Croncast joke search tickle a nerd

Season 19 Ep 5: Three Cheese Taco, Spinning Air, Juicy

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 10:04:26 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-16.mp3
Show: #451
Length: 29:24
Size: 20.2mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Stuffed nose and tinny voice
Baby I love you
Nobody wants to hear about you
You smell delicious
Like a three cheese taco
You know how to butter me up
I know how to sour creme you up
It is all about me today
Sure, we got to talk about your Wheel of Fortune contestant audition
I got in 3 hours early
You don't want to be late
So I went to the greatest resale shop on the planet
I hope Goodwill didn't hear that
It's called the Brown Elephant
The greatest mens clothing ever
They are having a leather and sex toy day
There are some lines in resale that must be drawn
I would try to avoid that day
Leather and sex toy day at the Brown Elephant
Occasionally I find kids clothes
They usually don't have them
But I opened my eyes and there it was
The greatest china set I've found yet
Even if I don't get on The Wheel I have scored today
You called me
I love how you are trying to get in to my story
The auditions were being held at the W hotel
Nice joint
Other people from middle of nowhere
How do we get to 6th floor?
Betsy, press the shiny button with a 6 on it
So I start hanging out with this guy
Having a good time
We almost missed the auditions
We got in just in time
They had a projection of the stage set
This was the first phase of auditions
Easiest way to say no, "bankrupt"
When it was my turn I jumped up like it was the Price is Right
Total ham
So my new friend solved his puzzle
Some people weren't catching on
Don't be dry
They were giving stage direction
People start falling by the wayside
Then they throw round two at us with a written test
Good thing you know how to write
I made it to the third round
I have to spin an invisible wheel
Then we introduced ourselves
"I'm a stay at home comedian"
The whole room died laughing
"I'm a very down to earth celebrity"
I nailed it
That is why I have made it all the way
Thank you Mr B
Hire Kris for your tagline too
I told them that we do the podcast too
Don't call a letter that has already been called
Some people spun the invisible wheel the wrong way
There were lots of stand out people
We want 'juicy'
Good thing that they didn't say that at the Brown Elephant
They want the whole package
Thanks for coming out
Most likely all of you have made it
You will find out by the end of the month if I made it
They will send us letters for either the Chicago taping or a LA shoot
Good thing I got miles for a trip if you need them
I did the best that I could do
That is all you need
You've got a good shot

Tags: Wheel of Fortune auditions The Brown Elephant hire Kris life is show prep

Season 19 Ep 4: Volvo Petting Zoo, Butter Dish, The Wheel

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 08:20:21 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-14.mp3
Show: #450
Length: 38:50
Size: 26.7mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

New intro music keeps on rolling along
Posts are the items in the site
I think you lost dad at upload
That could be the catch phrase from a nerd movie
"You had me at upload"
Having the love of a nerd is like that of a Golden Retriever
The red in their eyes
Like the bloodhounds
We'll get your's fixed someday
You can get side by side
And then I'll get you plastic surgery, the both of you
We do dis and dis, but not dis
I should have bitten his face
We took the dogs to the groomer
Changing deaf dogs name every three weeks
What does it matter?
You know what happens to 15 dogs right?
Sure, they die
No
The dog is walking around with cancer and a 13th nipple
Dog groomers should know better and look for lumps
The number one thing that gets skipped is the finger in the butt
No one wants to drain a dog
Let fail you
Betsy likens web designers with Goodwill
The two handed dog shave
Like she was swinging a bat
The last time they cut off a mole
It was like a half-dollar size
Don't feed her by hand
She wants to even the score
How many times has this dog been to the pound?
Thirteen times
Mom is nuts when we go to vet or groomer
Sure, your dog is big and he pees on your knees
When we hit the door little deaf dog freaked
I didn't realize she was that aware
Of course she is
Then my mom takes on the trauma of the dog
I know from the Dog Whisperer that is not how to act
The dog wants someone to lead
First of all, she's deaf
I want you to write that in big block letters
She needs to be drained, I can tell
Then she feels guilty for bringing in the dog
I know how this goes
Then my mom will decide to put the dog to sleep
It only has one duty . . . eat what Maggie drops
I swear Shih Tzus were designed to catch spaghetti on their head
Just do what is least invasive
Gonna put in a Jarvik .021?
In six months we'll be Shih Tzu shopping again
Your mom is the Kevorkian of the dog adoption world
I got Wheel of Fortune auditions today!!
I know you are so excited
The sounds you were making when you got the email
If I win money I'm buying a goat
This here is the only petting zoo in the entire nation delivered to you in a Volvo
Designer outlet mall parking lots would never be the same
Two dollars, don't touch my goat
You need to be comfortable
What not to do
I was freaking because I thought from your yell something was happening
Sure, like Maggie went face first into a hot stove
Nope, just The Wheel
Eeyor tells you how to overcome your fear of success PBS special
What happens when Betsy is on and knows it?
You get too over the top . . . just catch yourself and reel it in
Kris, quit with the analogies
I say this as your number one fan
I have been there for every party where you hold court
You'll be fine
Marcus hits my cart
He says, "who the hell are you?"
I ask where the butter dish is at
His reply, "Oooooooo oooooOOOO"
The manager walks up and taps me on the shoulder, "did you see that doll house?"

Tags: dollhouse Shih Tzu dog groomer butter dish Kevorkian