inch | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

it's hot out here . . .

Mon, 26 May 2008 10:39:22 -0500

so wear your cinch shirt.

this parade can't begin soon enough.

Season 19 Ep 23: Omniscient Nerd, Void Your Warranty, Ferocity

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 09:42:29 -0500

Croncast - 2008-03-21.mp3
Show: #470
Length: 15:41
Size: 10.8mb
Format: mp3

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We keeps it short today
Maggie is sick with croup and flu with fever
It's one half of a show
So I was at Goodwill
What story you tell doesn't start this way?
My pockets were loaded
I don't trust my purse
You shouldn't
We haven't told the story of your purse being stolen yet?
Nope
Another day
Not to be disgusting
Sure
I had to go to the bathroom and leave my cart outside the door
I pulled up my pants with ferocity
As soon as I left my pockets felt lighter
Oh, Baby
I go back in and my cell phone is in the toilet
Multi-use public toilet
I had to decide which hand to stick into the toilet
Baby, I gotta tell ya
You should have just left it
Goodwill urine water would do it
You could have sold it with your personal information
What are they going to steal? Your skype number?
This person could use more friends
Lists of potential friends
I love the idea
How much is a list of friends from a cell phone found in a toilet at Goodwill?
You're right
Kris, I need you to get me a new phone
I want a penny phone
Cheap flip phone?
Cell phones say a lot about people
It's like getting out of prison and wearing the same clothes from 20 years ago
I want a phone that I can dial and drive
If you hit the shift key you can dial numbers
It isn't a smart phone
They call that insurance fraud
I gotta hit the red dot
Sure, if you crack the head open you will void the warranty
It's funny you say that
Two months ago I had brain surgery
I felt like I was an inch tall
Omniscient nerd

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: smart phone Verizon voided warranty Omniscient nerd

SXSW Wrap Up

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:04:16 -0500

It's been nearly a week since I arrived back home and I've recuperated enough from the festivities, work and recording to make this post. Never mind that I saw Billy Bob Thornton and his band play, I was working angles!

What I can say is that it was an event that was really about connecting with nerd brethren. My BlogTalkRadio cohorts and I recorded tons of content and did multiple live shows. But at the core of all of it was connecting with people that we typically only interact with online.

Aside from connecting, I did have another experience worth mentioning here. Like every other conference I have attended there is a simple take-away if you keep your eyes open. Much like TechCrunch40 and the hand washing lesson. That was a great one.

The lesson learned from SXSW interactive was this:

Thousands of attendees, very few media makers.

That's it.

The AMD B5media Bloghaus was filled day after day with the same people. They were a minority of the attendees numbering around 100 I would say. Of that number, even a smaller amount were making media of any kind - blog posts, audio or video. I would guess 40, tops.

I was left wondering why there weren't more attendees outside of the Bloghaus posse making media instead of consuming it. I don't know the reason.

I am having trouble articulating exactly what it meant and means to me. So I will leave it at that. Lots of people at a media making conference and only a handful actually doing it.

Tags: amd bloghaus austin texas interactive media makers

A Cinch message for March 06, 2008 1:03 PM

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 13:03:52 -0600

Download size: 213.83 KB

Tags: BlogTalkRadio Cinch Kris Smith Croncast

There comes a time . . .

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:15:53 -0600

Yes, there does come a time when a man must leave his lair. Landing where else but a caffiene pushers store with free wifi for an hour. After that I'll hit the evdo.

The new 12+ hour workdays are making my little cubby less appealing. Need sunlight, though I still believe that the sun is out to get me. I need environment less conducive to sitting still.

Listen to quick Cinch that I did on my way to the coffee joint.

Download size: 629.35 KB

Tags: BlogTalkRadio Cinch Kris Smith Croncast

A Cinch message for February 19, 2008 7:30 AM

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 07:30:02 -0600

Download size: 561.79 KB

My Cinch Feed

Create your own Cinch feed.
1. Call (646) 200-0000 and talk
2. Hang up
3. Subscribe, Share or use as API your RSS feed - http://cinch.blogtalkradio.com/your_phone_# Ex. http://cinch.blogtalkradio.com/3125558282

Tags: BlogTalkRadio Cinch Kris Smith Croncast

A Cinch message for February 18, 2008 5:18 PM

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:18:24 -0600

I'm On Board, Blog Talk Radio

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:02:05 -0600

For those of you keeping track of me, I've landed at Blog Talk Radio.

I'm excited about the opportunity to work with this talented team as VP of Product Development on some great projects.

My experience building software, media development, UI design and entrepreneurial drive will all be put to use in this role. BlogTalkRadio is a great fit for me.

Thanks to Alan and Bob for having me. And thanks to John Havens for just being John.

Tags: Kris Smith Product Development Blog Talk Radio Cinch

The one inch gap

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 16:49:36 -0600

This is how Betsy and her peeps see what's coming next.

Tags: coming peeps betsy gap inch gw2

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 12, 2007

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 09:12:30 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-12.mp3
Show: #432
Length: 29:27
Size: 20.2mb
Format: mp3

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Monday is a great day to start the week
Yes, I forgot to tell you
The first time that I get to do a birthday show
I guess I am going to Goodwill
It's cool to swear it off
You should take up cardigans and turtle necks
When guys my age are geezers
We will be rocking the grunge look at the convelescent home
I was watching TV on something that is no longer around the house
There was a moment of clarity
I was watching an animal show
There was bear running in slow motion
Beautful
And the narrator pops in "This was the point when Charlie was ready to attack."
Does the bear know that his name is Charlie
It's all about relating to the world around us
We do what is comfortable
We would break the glass bottom boat weight limit
We'll be living fat for the next few months
Ok, hush you have to let me speak Mr. B
The fabulousity of puffy cuffedness
You know the job thing didn't work out
You're taking a moment to rest
And I am looking at the TV
It isn't that big
Spending that much on a TV
I can get you one tomorrow at Goodwill for $50
Yeah, it might weigh 650 pounds
Take your old Chicago technology with you
So I called Costco and told them about the broken ass TV
I just want my number tattooed on me
Betsy, you just like the exclusivity
Having to flash your card
Being a Costco member, stand back bitches
Yeah, as we stand next to the coffins
42 inches is not the big
I'm not going to go there, Kris
We roll in with two crabby kids
He's talking about throwing dead animals in the coffin
Which one do you like mommy?
I just need to find someone to throw in there
He is your child, Betsy
So they start helping us out
Everyone is watching
Fuck bling and diamonds
Roll around with a big screen TV
I had a pack of men following me
Asking me 30 questions
Ahhh, we can't take that back
Why?
You have everything but the manual
You can't take it back without the manual?
Nope
Are you kidding me?
Every time I walked by it
How the fuck did I get here?
I bet you have that thought a lot
Betsy starts rolling on them
It's your birthday, I am going to let you speak
Baby, he was still eying us up
Was he going to tackle us?
Stop them - they are going to buy oranges and pampers
Best friends
I would be a complete asshole if I got another TV right now
I didn't consult for 11 months
I need my business up and running right now . . . takes time
Same thing with jobs . . . takes time
A big day is talking to three recruiters
Betsy's denial policy
Thanks to Karen Vitale for the Franklin Mint vault check

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Tags: Vizio Costco Goodwill named bears denial policy

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 03, 2007

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 08:53:05 -0500

Croncast - 2007-09-03.mp3
Show: #405
Length: 33:11
Size: 21.1mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Sep 03, 2007

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Short show notes:
Betsy can't handle not mocking me during
How can I now mock you?
Kris had to do the intro 27 times
No way
August melted like a warm pat of butter in the sun straight into September
Celebrating a laborless birthday
I can't handle it
The worst joke that Betsy ever attempted
Wow did that bomb
Been a crazy weekend around here
We're broke
Thankfully we live in Pleasantville
Oh my god the cup is so half empty for you
What else do you want?
The park public bathrooms have Corian
The man tells me he is good at that point
Those games cost money . . . who wants to pet goats?
I wanna go on this ride . . . suck it up
Daddy doesn't make enough money
It's character building Mr. B
The photos like this chicken riding a llama
This chicken sees your soul

Maggie was super excited to ride the ponies
The chicken on the llama . . . she never thought of that
The 8 by 8 portable animal corral
Filled with animals
Pigs are doing figure 8's around the llama's feet
It wasn't a petting zoo it was a petting corral
Same thing happened with Elliot at Lake Holiday
The kids get on to the sand pile
The super farmer, Farmer Rollo, comes walking to his truck
Farmers look like retired Floridians they are so tan
Silver hoop earing . . . a pirate farmer
That man is an owner operator
I run this joint, that's my 8 by 8 pen bitch
It was funny when he came sauntering by with blood spurting from his face
He's hustling to his truck
Applying pressure to his face
What's wrong with you?
The pig bit me
The thing about the pigs is they were 10 weeks old
They go vicious
Thought of his probiscus as a teet
He wants the Jaycees contract for next year
Maybe some more horses next year
The animals were all in good shape
Eventually he stops the bleeding
He tried everything he could in his truck
He was trying to be casual about it
One of those things that was interesting to watch
OSHA would have take him to task
That pig should have been at least 12 inches from your face
I won't tell you what they do to the runts
Speaking of death
We watched the Mount Everest thing on NBC
They left the guy behind
Poked him in the eye to make sure he was dead
Next day . . . he's awake and talking to new climbers
Can I talk to you about improv class?
Sure you can lay it out for me
He's a professional extra
The goal is to succeed as a team
Right, they aren't supposed to be laughing at one of you
Betsy, you have to hold it back
Am I sassy? No
Am I hyper? No
Am I a bossy bitch? Yes
You have to stop steam rolling over everyone
You need to remember that you run over people
I am glad you are having someone point this out to you
We are an ensemble and the rest of your life should be that way
I hear people laughing all day in my head

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Tags: Corian Farmer Rollo Pleasantville baby pigs OSHA

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-08-01.mp3
Show: #392
Length: 1:05:10
Size: 44.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Aug 01, 2007

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We've made it into the month of August
You've now crossed into Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla Shooting Club
Sure you don't want to bitch about Boulder some more?
I like Boulder, there are just some things I don't
We roll up and there is a guard tower
Was he standing there with a rifle?
No, Mr B
It is a gorgeous view
Flanked by beauty
The guard comes ambling up to the Volvo
Your names ladies?
We give them, remember this
"Do you ladies have any firearms with you?"
No firearms in this Volvo
This wagon is clear
He gives us directions
We roll on up
Elk Mountain Resort is beautiful
The valet pulls it four feet away and parks
The woman on hotels.com just kept complaining about it
She is nuts
Jeannie says the place is like Annie
Everyone stands to greet you as you walk in
Then there was Santa Claus
A dude with a white beard and red suit?
No, he had a uniform and a "I love my job smile"
He's got hot towels on a silver platter
He looks at me and says, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
He looks at Jeannie, "Mrs. Smith would you like a towel?"
Shit, the deal is sealed, we are the dykes
Welcome to first class
It took us 9 hours from Boulder
We'll make everything guided for you
What time would you ladies like dinner?
This Mrs. Smith would like to eat before 7:30
Mrs. Smith and I would like to eat in 45 minutes
Santa has an ear piece and a chest mic
He talks into it and poof the bell hop appears
We get to our room and the view is gorgeous
If you don't like it dial "0"
The bed looks like a cloud from heaven
I got Wal-Mart sheets
Jeanie, "We have robes!"
Hers and hers robes would have been nice
So we get dressed for dinner
It was intimidating, we felt like we didn't fit
Then I bust out the gift certificate
We wanted to play it cool
Sure, you want to fit in
They were nicer than your grandma who hasn't see you in three years
Every time you walk in the door the staff stands
Oh, are you ladies here for dinner?
I'll announce you, then he speaks into his lapel, "The Smiths are here for dinner."
You haven't told them yet?
No I was waiting for Jeannie
Who's the man, the big footed one with a bad perm
Are there any other guests at the resort?
Two other men not talking
There were 10 total guests at the resort
We order our dinner and they ask for drinks
My mom always orders the house wine, the cheap stuff
I'll have a Mountain Dew won't go over well
Jeannie hates red wine but follows Betsy's lead
Hi, I'm Chef Jeff, which house wine is best for you?
They start bringing out bread baskets and baked stuff
Chef Jeff is like, "Fuck dude! I worked on that all day and you can't say it."
I look at Jeannie, I can tell she doesn't like it
Been there and done that
Jeannie is woofing it down
I have to eat at least half of it
The two men eating alone are now joined by someone I recognize
The owner that I had seen on The Daily Show
Kris if you kick it up a notch we can do this every weekend
He comes over to the table
Asks what activities we are going to do
ATV's and shooting
We are the only resort in the entire world to have access for ATV's
Jeannie, "I love the outdoors but I can't go up high"
Our ATV's are automatic
They've thought of everything
Yes, everything
On the ride you will come to a place called Top of the World
So high that airplanes will fly below
Then he launches in to the special lights
These are based on the biologic make up of a lobster's eye
They are used to melt the snow to make an ice tunnel
Mr. Foreman continues to talk about the press they have gotten
A book on the NYT Best Sellers list is based at Elk Mountain Resort
He had me sold . . . I wanted to kiss a bear and drive to the top of the world
Why would you think that you couldn't do something?
Tom Foreman makes you believe that you can do anything
Enter the rest of the guests
Three sets of couples that look like my neighbors
Fit soccer moms?
Yes, Kris
I just drove 4 states over to get away from them
Now they are going to spoil my mountain view
Mr. Foreman goes over to the new couples
The super sweet firebox
Then our food comes
Every time there was another opportunity to be put in our place
We were still really awkward
Betsy has a bowl of puss and I get a bowl of noodles
It was couscous Jeannie
Jeannie starts to panic, all I get are these noodles
Campbell's has everything including broth
Then they bring the broth
After that they bring out dinner
The whole thing was terrific
Except that we were both completely terrified
To get over the petrification of being treated so well and Elk Mountain Resort stay more nights
Kris you are the king of upgrade
So after dinner Santa jumps up
We get our bill after dinner
Betsy goes white
Shut up Jeannie, I'll tell you later
The one thing you can't return is food
What I was freaking out about was that our house wine turned out to be $18 a glass
From their perspective, the lesbians aren't satisfied
Chef Jeff asks if dinner was to their liking
Then Thomas comes over and asks
After that the waitress comes up
Sure, they are trained like the CIA to read unhappiness
What would you ladies like to do?
We would like a jacuzzi?
Our eyes meet and we realize . . . they aren't out to get us . . . they are out to spoil us
Drinking our sangria in the hot tub
The cheap wine was awesome
Betsy took 100 pics of the tops of trees
At the Boulder art fair there was a dude with aspen photos
So we retire to the room and Jeannie puts on a robe
Sliding into the bed of heaven
Mrs. Smith, this is going to be the greatest night of my life
The greatest part of this is that I have no kids to wake me up
Betsy wakes up at 6:01 for coffee and viewing birds that were probably released for my pleasure
Do you know how much this is costing per minute? Get up Jeannie
We decide to take a hike
We start to walk by workers that gardening
When they see you they stop, stand, smile and ask you if you need anything
Landscapers saw us, they froze like deer
When we went by them they commenced working again
Tom has thought of everything
When a crossed eyed man in golf cart tells you "good luck" heed his warning
People are freezing along the trail "I'm a tree. I'm a tree. I'm a tree"
Maybe the trail was made for someone who came one time
Betsy, they did not release cows into the national forest for you to view
Queue the cattle
Someone left it on the comment card no doubt
Gotta watch out for the feral cows
Jeannie was petrified of them
Now you know why he told you good luck
That guy used to not be cross eyed till a cow incident
We can hear them shrieking and yelling
There they are . . . the soccer moms on the zip line
Whew, my Nike sports bra is twisted
We are on our way back
Jeannie freezes as we stand on Have you told anyone that you are not Mrs. Smith?
I see two brown ears rising out of this draining ditch
Out jumps a giant mule deer
Betsy chases it to take it's photo
The lesbians are crazy!
What are the lesbians doing now?
Time for lunch on the patio
We need some cigarettes and an ashtray
"Can I have an ashtray?"
She speaks into her cleavage mic
Around the corner, "I'm on it"
I know it is fun to play spies but this is weird
It was awesome though, instant ashtray
Lesbians are on porch, queue deer
Queue the geese
Then the soccer moms come bouncing back fit and tan
"Where are you guys from?"
Bloomington. "We are going to drive through there."
Their husbands, reserved and uptight
Screw it, this is all about me
I am going to make the soccer moms laugh
She swore that she was thirsty and all the sudden water showed up
"Guess how many kids we have?"
I don't know this is a game?
We have 10 combined?
How many are girls?
One
Then they struck a bad ass soccer mom pose
They brought things like running shoes
Betsy brought Crocs and sandals
Perfect lesbian gear
The soccer moms told us that the ATV's were awesome
We get ready to go and Misha shows up
I have done this ride 500 times and not lost 1 person yet
She takes out these top gun flight suits
I brought you the biggest ones we have
Betsy, "Of course mine won't zip up"
Jeannie, "neither will mine"
Jeannie you rock!
This could be customer service boot camp
Their motto must be "we are not going to tell you no"
They actually import vans from Europe to fit through their gates
Probably because it is more aesthetically pleasing
This is my new motto, "It is all about me"
Betsy gives me the thumbs up and then hits a tree
So we're going up the mountain
Jeannie is flying behind Misha
Betsy is stuck
I look down and my left hand has the brake so tight that I won't move
When you got on the quad the Unitarian in you took over
It was trying to save you
Oh, I'm sorry when was the last time you drove an ATV up a mountain
Betsy is trying to avoid the sticks
"Mam, that is an all terrain vehicle. Run over the sticks."
Hitting trees really hurts
Right before we get to The Top of the World
I look up and it is all Aspens and cattle
Jeannie starts to freak
Get me past that cow so fast
I am getting away from that cow so fast
Kris, we got to the top of mountain
You can see Utah, three mountain ranges at 9000 ft
We both had brown mustaches
It added to the lesbianism
Every time Betsy talks to the staff it is about her husbands and kids
Talk into your chest, the lesbians are not lesbians
These people are awesome
Misha ran a camp for bad ass kids
Like outward bound? Way scarier
Working at Elk Mountain Resort is top of the food chain
You have got to put in your time
John of course is an ex-Navy Seal
He is bad ass
You feel amazingly comfortable and slightly scared
I love men like that. Don't you Jeannie
Sure, he was handsome too
OK, time for this podcast to end
We ended on the ATV's and it was time to drink
Don't hand the truck driver the bottle
Four or five inches of vodka
Kris, we almost drank an entire bottle of vodka
Jeannie is naked in a robe and slippers
We are ripped
You are so awesome . . . No, you are so awesome
I look at clock and it is 9:00 p.m. and we haven't eaten
We dial "0" and they tell us that the dining room is still open for us
We arrive and there are flames to the ceiling
Chef Jeff is making bananas foster
The soccer moms start to speak to us
Betsy with her vodka mouth
"Are we going to be on your webcast?", soccer moms
Jeannie loves it when I get out of control
"We should introduce ourselves"
No that is OK, I already have a name for you, "The bad ass soccer moms"
It could go either way
Then the leader dies laughing
Right, there has to be an Alpha mom in the group
Yes, the one with the longest Escalade, the EXT
So Chef Jeff comes over
Betsy, "A-1 Jeff we're trashed. Can I call you Chef Jeff from now on"
That's not chatting it up that is drunk babble
Chef Jeff really made it
We don't go to gourmet restaurants and have the chef talk to us for 40 minutes
It was entirely phenomenal
Kris, I know we have talked about how I challenged the Russian to a vodka drinking contest
Can I take it back when you order the most expensive item on the menu?
And I was on the urge of vomiting
Kobe beef times 2 with bananas foster
Betsy looks at me like you better eat that bitch
Chef Jeff is buying us drinks
And I have to deny him because now I can't see him
I don't know where I am at
We stumble back to our room
There is that point, where you realize that I am done my man
Jeannie deals with Betsy, I am sick
I will lay in the bed of heaven
Betsy has the her cigarettes and the camera around her neck
You ticked me off
You don't like me anymore?
I'll like you tomorrow
You just ripped my underwear and are out of control
I proceed to go to the most beautiful bathroom in the states
And I don't even have to use my muscles
I have an exorcism of the most expensive meal I have ever ate
More babbling from Betsy
Typical Betsy move, "I made myself throw up"
This is the best planned bathroom of all time
6 feet from toilet to wall on a slate floor
Betsy made a bed right there with a Turkish robe
And I fell asleep on that cold stone slate floor and it felt so good
As I was falling asleep I thought to myself . . .
I love John, Misha, Chef Jeff and I love Tom the most
Why? Because he was smart enough to put a twin bed in the water closet
I don't know what we were thinking by drinking so much
I have nicotine and alcohol poisoning . . . I need to dial "0"
We have to do another show for Valhalla
It was the most emotional day of Jeannie's life
Sorry about your underwear dude
I'll get you a Target gift certificate
These were Victoria Secret
Do you know how much stuff I will have to find and sell from Goodwill?
Final installment of Elk Mountain Resort and Valhalla comes your way tomorrow!

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Tags: kobe beef bananas foster Elk Mountain Resort Valhalla Shooting Club Chef Jeff bad ass soccer moms

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 04, 2007

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 07:37:52 -0500

Croncast - 2007-06-04.mp3
Show: #371
Length: 34:31
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 04, 2007

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Betsy starts the show by flossing with her own hair
Keeping in natural
Betsy gnawing on her hand
Kris says, "epididymitis" got his body part skin layers a bit off
Just swinging with the kids
Catherine the Great I am not
Why would you do that?
Are you kidding me
I've got the death march covered
I got a layer food to keep me alive for any miles long walk
Driving by all the closed down health clubs
They always open, they always go out of business
Locally owned and operated
Mega health clubs
Now the locals have signs like 27 months free
I asked who the hell would go there?
My dad
Le Beau's Health Club Aurora
Let the porn music play
Picture my dad as a tour guide
Using a lighter with your eyeliner
Le Beau's used to be in the country but now is surrounded by subdivisions
He would sit us down with a role of quarters
Maybe is just seedier in my memory
Mr. Le Beau comes on TV
We can't just keep open with the big
The leather bathing suite
I think it's great
I always thought Judy was fabulous
Cheated printed suede
Life Time Fitness is the one you are talking about
Everybody that joins gets a chubbiness check right away
The people come out with the pinchy things
It's fear marketing right your face
I know I'm fat, why else would I be here
They're telling you that you suck, you're worthless
And people are so sold on it
But if you work really hard you might be as cool as the receptionist
Waiting for the real estate class to start
She's 26 taking a stress test at Life Time?
Do you need another reason to hate yourself?
Lifetime is a fitness cult
They do it like other cults by getting into your head
Then they take your money and that of your other family members
And next is the indoctrination of your friends
Oh Mr. B
Busting my ass on eBay
No I'm not bitching at you
The Resale Queen post about the baby stuff
Jenny Rush rocks!
She stepped it up for the person here
Don't worry, Jenny Rush signed an NDA for our address ;-)
The first 6 months of his life she watched him during the day
Yeah, he had about 12 seizures today
Sure but it worked out because her son had the exact same type of epilepsy
He turned out okay, right Betsy?
Yeah, he became a doctor
No, he's gay
Kris, it doesn't get any better than a gay doctor son!
Who's gonna take care of you
If Elliot grows up and becomes a gay doctor I will join Life Time
What Jenny did was really cool
I am having that same sort of feeling that I had about 1 year into podcasting
There just is this network of people that keep doing things that we normally wouldn't be able to do because of proximity
Kris, this is the way that women take care of each other
All, I wanted to find was to find someone with a bigger trust fund than mine
And then I got you Kris
I got a trust fund!
A Folgers can full of Marlboro points up in the cabinet at my folks house
"You could have anything that you want baby, We're halfway to the pool table"
If I could hit rewind Bears
I would marry someone else, lived with him for 30 years, waited for him to die and then hooked up with you with his money
Oh, baby, I feel your bitterness
We go through the up periods and downs like everyone
Lately the introspection is a result of what great fortune has come to some friends
Their lives 3 years ago were completely different
For them it is a best case scenario type thing
Betsy is going to put her top 10 reasons that Naperville will change together

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Tags: Catherine the Great LeBeau's Health Club Aurora Marlboro points Folgers can Life Time Fitness

Life is show prep when you own a Volvo, I mean a Ford

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 20:43:35 -0500

Sooooo, Kris thought to himself . . . I mean myself, that I would be cool and do something nice for Betsy. Like I could stop by Volvo of Lisle, the new temporary home for her car and talk to them about the state of her V70 wagon and give her some good news like it has been fixed or that we guarantee that 3/4 of an inch of water will never pour out from under the dash on the driver's side again.

I suppose I should have been talking to the techs instead of a finance guy, a manager and a sales man to get an answer for that. But I knew the car wouldn't be finished since we didn't hear back plus the fact that when we arrived they told us that they were overbooked by 60 appointments for today.

Mosquito eggs will be hatching in the meantime. This may be the most expensive larva nest/ant farm in history. Hopefully the high water mark won't damage the resale value. Something Betsy knows all about.

This was the point tonight they would step up to the plate and work with us. However, that would be to easy! I was told to call customer service, "It might take two weeks but eventually you'll talk to the right person."

Like I have time for this, not only do you have my car but I want to spend hours on hold waiting for someone to tell me that they can't help us out and I have to get upset and ask for a manager. At that point they then tell us that they don't really work for Volvo of North America they are just at a call center in Idaho.

This was, of course was after he mentioned that I might want to pursue the lemon law. I promptly redirected that path of reasoning as a remedy for a car that has been in for repair SIX times in 5200 miles of its existence. Towed in for two of those repair trips. We both know the lemon law means a bunch of expenses on my end and a high likely hood that there will be a pretty unsatisfactory ending to the story of our Ford station wagon.

Well, I gotta run laptop needs juice and I am tired. More to come later this week but expect a recap on our first show back this Monday April 2nd.

Oh yeah, "Is there anyone that I can call to shorten this process?" says Kris. "No. Just call customer care," Mr. Sales. "You guys don't have a name?" asks Kris. "I don't work with them," Mr. Sales.

You would think we bought the car from Volvo of North America.

Tags: Volvo of Lisle Volvo V70 V70 Mr. Sales Volvo of North America water in my car driving my feet are wet

Betsy and her husband Kris Feb 23, 2007

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 09:19:08 -0600

Croncast - 2007-02-23.mp3
Show: #341
Length: 28:24
Size: 19.5mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris February 23, 2007

A little late, a little under the weather
Do you need your inhaler?
I had that last winter not this
I'm surprised that you don't come home with an 8 inch needle
Wrong site surgery type issues
You can only put this behind his knee
I won't even let them plug him in
You would go in for an appendectomy and come out without nipples
You never heard Pink Floyd
The Wall was built up as such a classic but
The brain doesn't function the way is used too
It's all down hill from here
My pores are getting bigger
Double and triple hairs coming out of the same follicle
The cure for cancer has been put off a day
Betsy reads the email
No more Croncast while loading agarose gel
It does contribute!
Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
Look for the graphic on "Audience Survey" on the main page

Betsy is going to take real estate classes!
I am so proud of you
So here's my LSAT story, Bears
Can I have that cross-stitched and hung on the wall
No being able to sell murder mcmansions is like being locked out of goodwill
I'm not like Donald Trump . . . I am keeping all of my hair
Early morning TV is quite possibly the prime example of our civilization's decline
Maggie counting with Sesame Street
Elliot has never been engaged by television
I was pack him a little hobo bag
"You can't hit your sister when she goes on on the potty!!!"
Don't forget that we are taking off the month of March
Send us an email . . . come up with some things that would make Croncast better for you
Nobody likes Dr. Phil and no one wants to be married to him

Tags: Murder McMansion LSAT testing appendectomy and come out without nipples agarose gel civilization's decline Pink Floyd

Betsy and her husband Kris Jan 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 05:54:34 -0600

Croncast - 2007-01-12.mp3

Show: #326
Length: 34:30
Size: 23.7mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris January 12, 2007

Today's show is brought to you by Ben Witt.
Also brought to you Black Box wine . . . just cause Betsy finds so delicious
Melissa is back with us again for a special show
She is going to sign up to be the Brockway Girl (I would link this up but the links are broken to their own promotion)
Melissa works at the group home that we collected and you donated dough to
She came on to thank everyone and get Betsy's hook up help
"Geek husbands are the best," Betsy
I'm not like them. Do you want to come over and play Wii with me?
I smiled and nodded but I really wasn't interested in it
You want me to what?
If you enjoy single life you will enjoy being married to a geek
Their direct deposit goes into your account
Nerds are loyal and won't disappear with your neighbor
Give'em lots of cereal
Mc Donald's gift card and no allowance
Getting your nerd 'sun like' light from special bulbs
Can we throw your photo on the site?
Hotter to every nerd . . . pic in front of mic
Not that I have been home thinking about it
Betsy has a master plan for Melissa
A beer girl to?
In Germany Kris could apply to be a beer girl and win
She should win because her last name is Brockway

"I don't know why you don't have a harem," Betsy
Melissa doesn't understand search engine results
She reads some of our search engine hits for the last 4 days

Girls gone wild, spice channel, nipples, girls gone wild on airplane, Hot pic french maid, full body corset, animal husband, Dr. Oz gain an inch,Goodwill store commercials, drink drano, canker, RSS girls gone wild, cuffs, sexy fifties, issues with john elway dodge, betsy porn, "vasectomy didn't work"

So that is how the world finds us
Getting a vasectomy in Tijuana
I don't where a t-shirt that says I have hang-ups
Even if he sees his friends from online he wouldn't know who they are
Look at Kris, that is the geek defense
You'll understand someday
I came on the show to thank everybody for everything that they gave to us
We had the best Christmas at the Lisle group home
The best one that we have had with them ever
Thank you to your listeners!
Today is Kris's last khaki pant day, it is over
Kris, you have to shower everyday . . . you'll get stars on your page
Wii tournament January 27th

Tags: Ben Witt Brockway Girl Brockway Chophouse geek husbands Wii tournament

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 20, 2006

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 06:30:44 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-20.mp3

Show: #316
Length: 33:01
Size: 20.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 20, 2006

Today's show is brought to you by Jason Corbett
Looking across at Betsy
She looks like she is 5 minutes from rehab
She's wearing a black wife-beater with no bra
Baby, are you ready to party?
I'm back from the battlefront
I'm not sure what volumizing foam is
I was off to be the world's best slightly damaged reseller
Formulating a plan with her apprentice Vicky
What do they go for on eBay?
The hooker references run thin
The day started off on a bad foot
Maggie wanted to know why she's not in a cart
Who are these well behaved babies?
Kate Spade garden tool holders
Dooney was the next stop
I was prepared, I had done the research
I have never seen you look like this . . . beyond disheveled
Trying to look like a mommy
Isn't professional shopping illegal?
Every woman on the face of the earth is technically a professional shopper
They know people do this . . . they sell more units
Maggie looks around and lets out a primal scream
Carry the baby out in a duffel
It appears that someone stuffed my baby in a duffel bag
Pacifying the child with treats
Goodwill experience is that all the items are for play, not Dooney
Maggie loves purses, pink and tacky pink Dooney's do it for her
Cookie in a bag
We have this plan
Do you think that grandma would like this wristlet
It's day one and Kris gets to say I told you so
Everything that was there that was good is gone
Yep I get to say I told you so
Out of Dooney and over to Coach cause the plan is failing already
Whole store 20% off
But the items sell in store for the eBay price
Coach purse creed
Fakers usually don't bother
Betsy changes the subject to the Wii
I am sore from the Wii, Betsy
The tennis is really awesome, I'm halfway to pro and I haven't left the basement
Who else get's you to do something three times a week
I some domains . . . I forgot this on the show, thanks to Craig's idea
Here's the video

Fat people listen to me, a fellow fat person
Seeing the side profile in a mirror
Rick was almost knocked out with my man wings
We're going to try to lose some weight
You just called me fat
Here's the doman . . . www.wiiarefat.com (ready saturday)
You're tricking me into blogging again Kris
I love your plan, small favor I expect payment
Betsy wants a nanny
Kris, you can pick the nanny
You might be the only woman on the planet who tells her husband you pick the nanny
Yep, pick a hot one I don't care
Seeking one nanny willing to get implants, paying minimum wage
Do you trust the minimum wage sitter?
Terrible parenting, I'm not going to talk about it (not our parenting)
She can talc down my man wings
They are man lumps
Kris reads the inch comment email that came in
You gain an inch for every 30 pounds, this lady is happy
Special meaning to pinch an inch
Two people are enjoying those extra inches

Tags: Dooney and Bourke outlet Coach outlet wiiarefat.com Kate Spade garden tool holders professional shopping

Betsy and her husband Kris Dec 15, 2006

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 07:12:37 -0600

Croncast - 2006-12-15.mp3

Show: #314
Length: 31:40
Size: 21.7 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris December 15, 2006

These are gonna be some quick notes (but a rockin' show) . . . big day. I watched Oprah today
Nothing comes good after that statement
Men, lose 30 and get an extra inch
I gotta strike up a conversation with Tubby
The QVC return reseller program . . . a dream for Betsy
No blistering for Mr. B
It was nice to have Mellisa here
Thanks to everyone for the donations!!!!!
Thanks again to Anonymous for the $400 donation!!!!!
Today is the final day for ChildServ donations
If we hit a total of $2000 which means $600 bucks more today . . . Betsy is going to eat
spinach dip out of my belly button and photos will ensue
Santa isn't running the sweat shop this year

Tags: QVC returns ChildServ Oprah Dr. Oz temp tattoos

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 20, 2006

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 06:59:19 -0600

Croncast - 2006-11-20.mp3

Show: #304
Length: 29:42
Size: 20.4 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris November 20, 2006

It's a comments show thanks to Nick T.
Is Nick T. real?
Kris doesn't think so
Not gonna break down that wall
Betsy is gonna read the email
Turns out she reads it in a Tiny Tim voice
"Nick . . . our kids are in bed. It's my time to be an adult"
"What is compelling about our show to a 10 year old"
Nick is Kris from the future
The allure of 30 year olds hanging out on the cul de sac
Did Nick's parents put him up to it?
Betsy says she swears a lot for an adult
Betsy, "My life revolves around sippy cups and wiping people."
If it is real I am all for it
I new I was never going to get a job in the FBI
What would I do if the kids were awake
Elliot knows the Goodwill employees by name and length of employment
Do you think we should stop swearing?
No
Kris lays down the documentation of what we documented when we started the podcast
Betsy wants to stop selling junk and sell cars
She could take smoking up again and drink on the job
In 2006 with the Pomade in the hair . . . creepy
Her male co-workers would be in for it
The man really make all the big decisions
Man soap and deodorant
Too much hygienic responsibility for one man to take
High fa luting tooth brushes for the bear
It's too easy not gonna turn that one around on you
Being repossessed with your car
Ben's "Barf" comment
Barf means snow

When you gave that presentation in 5th grade did you show photo
Let me tell you about my dad's Nova
It was a grass killer, worm farm starter and plant holder
The old school steering wheel
The back seat was plywood with foam on top covered in denim
Did you wear a seat belt or bungee cord?
I was free range
Stuck my leg in the door and got leg closed in door
And Kris puked immediately
It hurt like the "dickens" . . . just for Nick T.
Mustache of grass 10 inches high
What happened to the Nova?
It eventually was removed upon municipal ordinance
It was the beginning of my worm farm days
Running the hose under the car at dusk to come and collect night -crawlers
The microphone comment and email . . . this is special
Congratulations to Dave and to Dave and Melissa
I'm sure he became more attractive after he opened the envelope
Kris would be a malpractice lawyer for patients suing cosmetic surgeons
Words of advice from Kris, go after Dr. 90210
Betsy can relate
"We need a hot cameraman," Betsy
PodCampWest talk on Wednesday

Tags: Barf detergent Dr. 90210 PodCampWest rusty chevy nova plywood car seat

Brotherhood's heart beginning to beat

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 07:16:10 -0500

Brotherhood, an original series from Showtime has finally started to come to life after 4 episodes. It is too bad that it took this long. If it weren't for OnDemand I wouldn't have recorded them or even cared after the second episode.

Why? The cinematography is a slipshod style with wide angles (that finally work) and color blown out of most shots for a gritty feel. The story is slowly progressing but like all new shows the introduction of characters seemed forced and predictable. Not a recipe for entertainment success.

But that wasn't it. My real problem with the show was and still is editing. The replaying of multiple shots, rough cuts and the worst, from this audio guys humble opinion, is the sound design. Background and meaningless sounds are brought to the front of the audio mix and they seem out of place. How about a deck of cards being shuffled cranked up so high that it sounds like someone eating an ice cream cone at warp speed.

At episode 4 things are coming together. The photography is meshing with the story, the reuse of shots seems to have stopped and the characters are a little less predictable than before. If you haven't seen Brotherhood I do recommend it as a good study of, "What would I do in that situation?".

BTW, I did figure out why the sound design in some of these episodes is off . . . at the end of episode 3 there is a great sequence for a Nine Inch Nails song that is total rock star video. And, amazingly, it fits with the story. I'm thinking they blew the audio budget getting the rights to the song and the audio engineer is some guy's 8 year old kid.

Tags: Brotherhood Showtime Sho sound design TV

Geraldo Rivera joins our family

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 09:12:59 -0500

The newest member to our family arrived last week thanks to a stork named Jodi. She brought us an 11 inch long .02 ounces shiny lamenate Geraldo Rivera promotional photo to be loved and cared for.

Here's a peek at our new joy:

Don't you just want to tug on that stache?

Tags: Geraldo Rivera Naperville

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 153

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 09:33:51 -0600

Croncast - 2006-01-14.mp3

Show: #196
Length: 42:45
Size: 29.3 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 153

Show Notes

TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA
It's really Kris
No buying a a house with 13 in the number
Irregardless the ladies went and bought one
You're really only selling the house to the wife
Women are like cats
Everytime before the show Kris is sexually harrassed
Betsy would settle for all of Kris' money
Smacking my butt or any other bare flesh
Low rise jean nightmare
I don't know how to break this to you, your but goes half way up your back
Betsy's hairy spots find their way into my dreams
Missing hair when waxing
Human hair in patches like Steve Carrel
Fantastic 4 "family" version - seriously?
Ending up in the principals office
It's not about the man hair
5-6 inches of hair bordering on creepy
Betsy as a swimsuit model
Even when Kris dreams he can't confront Betsy
Women can't ever wear the other shoe, they must harrass men
Betsy smiles through the whole thing
Women are sleazy perverts, soaps and Desperate Housewives
Tivo the soaps
Aimed at people with a third degree education
Finally expelled at the 9 grade
My people pick up on things like that
Kris could have become a mechanic, so could Betsy by mail order
The youthful internship
Kris puts together a car from the parts (yes I did it once)
Swearing and crying, next the man fit
I'm not interested in doing that
The contractors cometh and some are scary
Validating my manhood to the contractors as soon as they enter the house
When the lawn mowing kid from next door comes over I don't say I could do this myself but I'm not
Letting them know that I don't do it well
Fancy codes that won't burn down your house
Experiences we haven't had before
I told them about my man points of home repair
Ungood with the laminate
Starting where no one will go not the most traffic
Hiring a contractor
Choosing from the news paper
No spelling errors in ad, franchisees, Rent-My-Hubby
Third category - can't pay rent and decide to see how many elderly people will call
The plan didn't work all that well
Not title for business - No Job Too Small
He really lived the river
Sweet Emotion was playing when he rolled up and the neighbors huddled with their children and brought them inside
Cars are made of plastic and this cats was rusting
The guy you wake up at 3 a.m. and find in your kitchen
Jail house tats on the knuckles
Qualifying the hording of everthing
Betsy has a problem
Maggie will get bigger
"Stocking up" - lies all lies
Partial admission that she is hording
Selling the train bed
Making Kris proud with her saleswomenship
All the American girl dolls for a 10 month old
Too big to ship and don't fit in the Scion

Tags: kris betsy house hair people

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 47

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 07:52:57 -0600

Croncast - 2005-03-09.mp3

Show: #87
Length: 27:06
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 12.7 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 47

Happy and healthy baby and mother! On Monday baby Maggie entered our lives at 9 lbs. 9 oz. and 21 inches. Everything went great and today Betsy and baby will be coming home.

Thanks to everyone who sent emails, comments and their best wishes to us. It means a lot to us hear from you.

OK, today's show is an "anytime" show that Betsy and I recorded pre-baby sometime last week for when Maggie had arrived. It is funny. And I don't say that lightly, as you know I am honest about the shows and when we have a good to great show I always make note, this is a good to great . . . British to beautiful show.

Tags: baby betsy croncast maggie ep