launching | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

from walgreen's with love

Sat, 17 May 2008 11:01:16 -0400

i have rationalized that a conservationist teenager tossed this cart into the river for small marine life habitat and not the thrill of launching it 15 feet down and embankment in an act of drunken joyousness.

ahh, to be young in naperville.

Tags: embankment feet launching thrill act

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 13, 2007

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 07:59:05 -0400

Croncast - 2007-07-13.mp3
Show: #386
Length: 20:54
Size: 14.3mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 13, 2007

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

For Friday, July 13th
Triscadecaphobe friends are feeling
Yeah, and I am taking my son to the dentist
Aren't I an evil bitch
We have Friday the 13th open, excellent
He hasn't been brushing much
Kris breaks down why the shows are so short right now
Kris is in Boulder till August
Yeah we're normal people
Are you trying to be at?
Looking around awkwardly pushing your tofu around your plate
Travel and seeing other peoples kids
I miss mine more when I see the other kids
And how my wife is pissed off
Getting up with the kids
Betsy coming out in a week
Kris going out to San Francisco
Back for when Betsy arrives
Yes, Kris you are abandoning your family
"I want daddy, he would have bought me the Transformer"
Jeanie and I are going to just stop and stay a hotel
Yeah, I can skip Valhalla for the peace and quiet
I have a little online issue
Kris you always laugh at me about my computer issue
The Nigerians are after Betsy
My spam is out of control
Sure, but you use hotmail
Did you reply to one at some point?
I do have a boyfriend over there
He's wealthy and a general
A storage shed full of machetes
Betsy is going to join the resistance, some faction
The faction that burns down all the internet cafes
The international campaign not to fund your country
You have to be creative when short on funds
I just want them to leave me the hell alone
Some sort of online condom
Back to Wednesday
I truly believe that this is your launching pad
I am banking on you
There is a long record of comedians who are excellent parents
It's crazy
If it happens Mr B it will happen
I will walk out on stage with pasties for you Mr B
You'll never get another audience
Live show
We're our own worst critics
Selling stuff on eBay that people feel cheated
It was her husband telling her that it isn't cool
People really think it used to be her stuff

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Tags: Valhalla Friday the 13th triscadecaphobia Transformers Nigerian internet cafes

Geek affect in full effect

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 11:05:53 -0500

Well, the video interview that I mentioned back in October from TECHcocktail 2 is now out. It is a good thing that we don't do a video podcast!

Thanks to Ed and Benjamin for coming down to Chicago from Technology Evangelist for coming down from The Twin Cities to shoot video and put a few away with us.

I get completely nerdy and invoke every nerd vocal affect and even throw in some raised eyebrows . . . which are much more noticeable when you have not a hair on your head.

You'll notice the launching forward when I speak, that is due to the noise in the bar and I wasn't sure that Ed was was two feet in fron of me would be able to hear me speak. It was loud! I could barely hear myself speaking. Benjamin did a great job picking up my voice or it was the mic but either way it sounds better than it did in the bar.

Tags: TECHcocktail2 TECH cocktail Technology Evangelist Kris Smith Croncast

Vacation: Act #1 Naperville to Omaha

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 05:59:32 -0400

Croncast - 2006-06-12.mp3

Show: #235
Length: 37:05
Size: 25.4 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris June 12, 2006

Thus begins our sharing of a vacation that ended 5 days early. We are not quite sure that our big summer vacaction driving to Denver in Slowsky was really a vacation. But we are sure that we will never drive anywhere on vacation again.

What we can say about our trip is that with the help of many lucid memories and five days to regain our footing on solid ground that we would like to bring your our trip in three separate podcasts. There is too much to share in a single 30 to 40 minute podcast that deserves great attention to detail.

What do you call a thousand mile trip in you wife's savings account? If you're us, show prep.

The long, feel good intro
Sending email easy like
When we last left you it was June 2 of 2006 a millenia ago
Things were much simpler then
H.G. Wells Time machine could take us back
Walking hand in hand with your spuse at the beach
I would have liked to have decided not to go on vacation
We should have flown
Short version, we leave, there's trouble and we come home five days early
Here we go
We're going to rcap the whole thing in 3 shows
It is June 2, 2006 in nice and sunny Naperville, IL
Kris is an hour late and damned Skype showed it to Betsy
Moments of our life are really important to you
Betsy pretends that she is me on Skype sometimes
The planets seemed to be aligned for our trip
The eBay pick-up guy got here right on time
Naperville was going to be hardest part with traffic
Driving Slowsky is like launching a boat
An hour and a half later w'ere making 8 miles of progress
The van is too tall for most drive thru awnings
Slowsky went to the dealer and got $1500 of repairs to travel worldwide
This is the point where you start adding up the costs
Gas doesn't count as vehicle maintenance
We finally make it to I-88
Slowsky is topping out at 70 mph with nothing more to give
First omen . . . we ignore it
We're gonna make it to Omaha
It wasn't a shifting issue but I am pushing Slowsky really hard
We get near DeKalb which is 50 miles from home and think about turning it around again
We push on
Betsy says "no" to my lead foot and thinks the 70 mph thing is good Slowsky is sucking gas and needs refill at 180 mile mark, still in Illinois Another omen Kris starts venting that we should have flown at gas station number two
"I drove the Alaskan Highway and need a new car."
All the signs were there
It was our decision to keep moving on
Not true to Betsy's faith
Dinner at The World's Largest Truck Stop on I-80
Maybe it is safe because it's a tourist trap
Nope, it's a 3-D world of a sex offender registry
All just minor inconveniences at this point
Bleeding money out of my eye balls
10 years ago this would have been an adventure but with kids it is a nightmare
In Iowa they drive on the grass
Not a single room vacant
Pulling off on Omaha hoping for an empty hotel room
Scoring a room 20 miles north of downtown
10,000 lesbians converged on Omaha the same day as our vacation, of course

Coming up on Wednesday . . . Vacation: Act #2 Omaha to Denver

Tags: vacation Denver John Elway Dodge Naperville Omaha Slowsky thetrip

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 69

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 10:19:24 -0400

Croncast - 2005-04-29.mp3

Show: #110
Length: 31:46
Format: mp3
Bit rate: 64 kbs
Size: 14.5 mb

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris Ep. 69

Today's show goes out to my brother who turned 28. Happy Birthday Kyle!

And for those of who don't think that I could make your ears bleed, I will succeed with my singing of Happy Birthday.

Betsy answered her emails for Croncast and gives shout outs to some of the folks who have sent mail to her this week. Betsy also answers the life long question, "When else can you throw a ball at the head of your enemy?"

Kris rips into Bill Gates over the Microsoft campaign to outsource more jobs. Stop saying that the people don't have the skills here in the states and simply admit the fact that it is economic. My solution is for Microsoft, Dell, Cisco, Novell and any other tech company to open their own schools here in the states to teach people to fill these positions. Why shouldn't they? Cherry pick them at at early age and bring them up, open training online or face2face for people who can fill the other positions.

I'm just sick of this shit where these companies use this pretext that there are no people in this country to fill these jobs, bullshit. Quit lying and tell the truth.

On other notes we talk about our forefathers fighting for the suburbs, Anna Nicole Smith water fountains, Kris got pulled over again and got out of the ticket, and and and . . . .

Betsy is launching a contest:

1) Send an email to betsy@croncast.com with the word "Contest" in the subject line
2) Write a couple sentence bio about yourself
3) Betsy will print out all names and put them in a cookie jar
4) She will pick one name
5) Grand Prize - Betsy will be your personal Goodwill shopper. She will interpret your bio and buy you an appropriate gift for Goodwill value up to $9.99 (You could end up with a waterbed or car at that price) and ship it to your home or business.

Tags: betsy croncast kris people fill