life | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

The Poconos

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 06:14:41 -0600

Episode: #770 | Length:28:44 | Format: mp3

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An idea
A Trip
Life Changing Affirmation
Betsy Learns A Life Lesson

Tags: Kris Smith Betsy Smith Croncast Funniest Podcast comedy Podcast

Apologies, Nerdy AK, Betsy Saves A Life

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 10:47:02 -0600

Episode: #769 | Length:32:18 | Format: mp3

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Wow, it is 2012
New episodes are coming
Big Bear apologies from the Smiths
What would life be without you?
Mariko brings Nerdy AK
Of course there are Goodwill stories
Betsy saves a life, sort of
FLAC files are available for those that would like them, drop me a line

Tags: croncast kris smith betsy smith funniest podcast comedy podcast

Season 30 Ep. 19: Apologies, Nerdy AK, Betsy Saves A Life

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 10:05:08 -0600

Episode: #769 Season 30 Ep. 19: Apologies, Nerdy AK, Betsy Saves A Life
Length: 32:18
Format: mp3

Enjoy what we're up to now :)
Get on board with us for $4.49/month or less

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Tags: Kris Smith Betsy Smith Croncast Funniest Podcast Best Talk Podcast

rational life

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 09:34:09 -0500

Tags: life rational

Wanna party, Giant?

Sat, 04 Dec 2010 22:47:44 -0600

Rambling introspection and poor writing to follow.

The headline? We'll get to that.

A little over a year ago my wife and I moved to New York City with our two children. We left a house and life in suburban Chicago, as evidenced in all these Flickr photos that serve as a reminder of our histroy.

We sold the house, packed up tight and left town in a stretch limo with six suitcases and a hermit crab in my wife's front pocket.

We arrived with no apartment to rent, jobs or money. The money was tied up in the sale of our house that was occurring in a couple days, I had interviews lined up but nothing solid and for lodging a friend named Tom hooked up a tiny studio for the four of us.

I'm going to take the liberty of speeding up this story. I'll share more of it another time.

Needless to say, things didn't work out quite like we have hoped or planned.

I didn't get the jobs that I had interviewed for. The money from the sale of our house didn't clear our bank for 3 weeks. Once it cleared we got on with things.

Which brings me to the short version of things:

New York has been many things to our family. I fell it love with every part of it and convinced my family to come with. They've stood by me as opportunities have come and gone. They've believed in me in what my own personal history will recount as one of the most challenging years of my life.

Things are on the up and I feel a little more comfortable taking the time to look at this last year as a series of challenges.

My children may never forgive me. Hopefully, later in life, they'll appreciate that mom and dad took risks in order to provide them a more interesting life. Who else gets to watch a midget hooker try to work their father at a subway stop with a sweet line like, "Wanna party, Giant?"

Nothing in suburbia packs that much excitement except a play-date at the local children's museum.

Tags: house life children money left

T Partied, He Closed It, Three Strangers

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 22:17:01 -0500

Episode: #655
Length: 28:42
Format: mp3

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Three strangers enter
They meet
Two become friends
One goes home with something from the other
Drama ensues
I don't know who the daddy is
The guy was a pimp
Then . . . then . . . he was out pimped
The post I mention on the show - Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it. Cabbie couldn't hang
He thought he was going to rip us off
He will never mess with a midwestern dude again
I know why it happened
I'll tell you on Friday

Tags: ice t cabbie drama 10 90 mark suster

Season 26 Episode 05: The Croncast Shorty

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 22:02:31 -0500

Episode: #655 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:01
Format: mp3

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Tags: ice t cabbie drama 10 90 mark suster

Pizza Origami, With Puppets, Lengua Burrito

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:45:04 -0500

Episode: #646
Length: 29:40
Format: mp3

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Bringing the lengua
I don't hold back on the tongue
The sad sack makes up for it
To be depressed I'd have to climb a ladder to get there
So I get a lengua burrito from the burrito van
That is a worthy prize
The food here totally sucks
Pizza origami
Leave it to NY to fuck up a burrito
The cat diet
Complain about the food
He would love tongue
And he's discreet
Carrying the Whole Foods bag
I care
That is what it is supposed to say
Just realized that you and Jeanie are the female Beavis and Butthead
I've seen the photos of you too
It's the Facebook people
You're drooling on stuff
The fake Temperpedic bed
Pride in the individuality
My life would be better with puppets reenacting it
I want my waterproof tape
Mid-twenties hipster buys a pregnancy test

Tags: lengua pregnancy test waterproof tape pizza origami whole foods

Season 25 Episode 21: The Croncast Shorty

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:23:30 -0500

Episode: #646 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:35
Format: mp3

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Tags: lengua pregnancy test waterproof tape pizza origami whole foods

What Just Happened?

Thu, 27 May 2010 08:25:02 -0500

Life is show prep takes on a whole new meaning when it pertains to me going renegade as Mr. Mom. Creating a lunch for the five year old from Dr. Pepper and popcorn takes skill, a blind eye to nutrition and nod to my own childhood desires. Making memories here, people!

Along this line of reckoning, as Betsy was starting her corporate groove, her day was filled with all things new. Maybe not new, but after a decade of kicking it with our progeny, this transition is refreshing.

My experience, her experience . . . a day without a show it brings. For this we are both sorry. We were wiped out at the end of the day and didn't bring the goods.

Tomorrow, we'll bring the goods. And this weekend, we'll bring a special delivery of the goods for weekend laughter.

No. Maggie. You can't give the cat Dr. Pepper!

I gotta run. Talk with you soon.

Tags: croncast episodes kris smith betsy smith life is show prep

UCB Improv Classes, Subway Rats, It Won't Fit

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 15:52:52 -0500

Episode: #619
Length: 27:40
Format: mp3

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My tore up voice
It's leaving a comment right now
Betsy graduates another level one comedy class
Placebo
That is a stupid word
Not even three minutes in
Roll with it, baby
You should take my classes
Toastmasters or Improv
Get on UCB team
What is wrong with this guy?
I care
He can't do that to my wife
At a Chucky Cheese?
They're all wrong
Alternative lifestyle
What did you do?
You can't roll with that
Redirect from that?
How?
The joke about one wing
You gotta recall that
Wrap up this wing
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: comedy classes nyc subway rats upright citizens brigade

The San Antonio, Doddering Bus Surfers, UES

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:14:17 -0500

Episode: #614
Length: 31:21
Format: mp3

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Those embarrassing moments
Like smelling yourself
Baby, you looked like a pigeon
The beauty of marriage
Not really, honey
Just behave normally
That's how I will pick up the next one
The Freudian slips begin
Who is the hot lady standing at my door?
Oh, that is my wife
Whew!
I can hit on her full force
Beauty to bloodhound or Bloodhound to beauty
Betsy telling the Wheel of Fortune story grows
It has a life of its own
How I won my to Upper East Side
Sounds way better than paid off my credit cards, wah wah
No affairs with shirtless men
Nothing
Making the sacrifice
The relationship that you have with the city
And scene
Here come his stand ins
Ready to make cat calls
I did not get to go to circus school
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: ASPCA cat doddering bus surfer upper east side san antonio

Bloodhound to Beauty, Circus School, Freudian Slip

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:18:18 -0500

Episode: #613
Length: 25:12
Format: mp3

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Tags: circus school freudian slip NYC bloodhound to beauty

Season 24 Ep 13: The Shorty Croncast

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:04:20 -0500

Episode: #613 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:03
Format: mp3

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Tags: smell yourself freudian slip NYC bloodhound to beauty

Hitched For Love, Bus Surfing, Naked Cowboy

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 19:20:21 -0500

Episode: #608
Length: 23:58
Format: mp3

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Kris is all bachelor up in NYC for a week
Betsy is in Sycamore, IL with Sis and kids
Never sit in the empty seat
Especially when with child and
Everyone else is standing on the bus
You can't hide it
The Naked Cowboy
He should be sponsored by Fruit of the Loom
Improv . . .
You should learn how to tell a story of your life
I got this one cold
But you lied to them
It wasn't a lie
OK, but you can really tell it now
Exactly
Home help nurse
The gold digger plan
All for love
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: naked cowboy bus surfing fruit of the loom sycamore

Season 24 Ep 08: The Croncast Shorty

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 19:09:52 -0500

Episode: #608 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:32
Format: mp3

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Tags: naked cowboy bus surfing fruit of the loom sycamore

My Sugar Momma, Lifetime Movie Moment, Madrid Nights

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:28:44 -0600

Show: #547
Length: 32:14
Format: mp3

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New Match profile
On the way to the ferry
Born in the 1960's
Where are your shoes?
Goodwill jeans
Leprechauns visiting NYC
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: leprechauns tourists ed hardy match.com opera singer

Season 23 Ep 09: Croncast Sampler

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:11:13 -0600

Show: #544-Sampler
Length: 5:54
Format: mp3

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Hey hey
Those comments are gonna flow
Yes, I've had hamsters before
This would be a fourth
Well, it is a fourth
How did you have four hamsters?
What happened to them?
Kris tells a story that should never be told
I don't want to go into all of the things I learned in La Moille
You set me up for a lifetime of chores
I didn't walk away
I'm still here
No matter how much like a midget New Yorker and it's cute it won't work
As it is we can't have the landlord in to fix anything
Just don't tell Mommy
Daddy's buying me a hamster
You have no idea
I do know
Feral hamsters don't count, Kris
Glow in the dark ball back in the day
Pets didn't last me all that long
I tried to cram it down the Sesame Street slide
No it didn't die
Does you mom still have that?
It aint' a rabbits foot, it's a hamster foot
Look, is was common at that time
Aluminum foil on the bottom
What?
That is what they said to do
Who?
The people at the pet store
<-- sampler show ends -->

Tags: croncast kris smith betsy smith season 23 ep 08 get cool

Daddy Justice, Aluminum Lined, Long Memory

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:06:28 -0600

Show: #544
Length: 28:09
Format: mp3

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Hey hey
Thos comments are gonna flow
Yes, i've had hamsters before
This would be a fourth
Well, it is a fourth
How did you have four hamsters?
What happened to them?
Kris tells a story that should never be told
I don't want to go into all of the things I learned in La Moille
You set me up for a lifetime of chores
I didn't walk away
I'm still here
No matter how much like a midget New Yorker and it's cute it won't work
As it is we can't have the landlord in to fix anything
Just don't tell Mommy
Daddy's buying me a hamster
You have no idea
I do know
Feral hamsters don't count, Kris
Glow in the dark ball back in the day
Pets didn't last me all that long
I tried to cram it down the Sesame Street slide
No it didn't die
Does you mom still have that?
It ain't a rabbits foot, it's a hamster foot
Look, is was common at that time
Aluminum foil on the bottom
What?
That is what they said to do
Who?
The people at the pet store
<-- sampler show ends -->
That is the way it was done
Was it like 1840 Louisiana?
It didn't do him any good
Just like you didn't end up with straight arms
The way that it is
If he's smart he won't eat it
Was your crib lined with foil?
He decided to do himself in
Brittle plastic bottom
It was a bird cage
I can't even look at you
Why did he die? I don't know
I highly doubt you had a hamster
It was really a dead parakeet
This is my friend Pete
No wonder the neighbor kids never played with me
Oh my god, that is dumb!
Maybe it got bird food
I lived in a blissful bubble till I met you
Oh, baby
Dylan's Candy Bar is worth the trip to NYC with kids
Maybe I shouldn't have done it
She will never forgive me
She's got a great memory
Don't go buy a hamster
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: hamster pet store dylan's candy bar new york la moille

the hottest woman i know | @reslaequeen | good gawd, baby.

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 21:10:41 -0600

every time that betsy decides to go out with friends she has me take her photo.

probably, because it isn't that often that she gets to let her hair down and be an adult.

she does a saint's work with us. elliot, maggie and myself owe so much to her unsung work holding this family together.

i love her with all my heart and cherish the time that we have together. or maybe i constantly take it for granted and should be appreciative more often than when i am looking at your photo when you're not here?

baby, i love you.

i'm going to wait up for you and give you a big hug when you walk through the door. i might even cry because i am happy.

you are the best thing that ever came into my life and stuck around.

Tags: work photo often together baby

Croncast The New York Days

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:25:05 -0600

Croncast - 2009-12-31.mp3
Show: #535
Length: 8:42

Format: mp3

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Croncast the New York Days Begins on January 13th!
We're making some changes
The new shows are paid subscription
Sign up on the Get Cool page
New York is like living on an elevator
You're all up in everyone's business
You try to relax but you can't
No one can
All of the pet roles have been recast
Keeping it subterranean
We can't do a full episode, baby
Has New York changed these people
What sort of sales pitch is that
You got to pep it up!
Getting Cool 4 Life
That is the patron level
They love what we do and want to support it
People can unsubscribe at anytime
No missed days . . . we gots obligations
We also have a new live video show
That starts January 18th
It's called High Society Salvage Co.
All new, all kinds of awesome
I've got Chanel suits to auction off
All kinds of weird stuff
In conjunction with Tim Street we'll be cranking that one out
Begin subscribing by going to Get Cool
It's all good people!
Kris's cheap chair implodes during the outro
Couldn't have planned it better
It's funny to other people
All part of the story
All the old shows will still be free on the site and on iTunes
New start for us number 447
2010 here we come!

Tags: New York Kris Smith Betsy Smith paid podcast subscription unique rss feed

stored life

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:50:03 -0600

Tags: life stored

Season 22 Ep 06: The Hiatus is Over

Thu, 21 May 2009 16:21:56 -0500

Croncast - 2009-05-22.mp3
Show: #532
Length: 20:41
Size: 19.0 mb
Format: mp3

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We're back for a 20 minute episode
A little low down on what we're up to
Some Betsy digging into my past
The Great LaMoille fire of 1888
And part hypnotherapy for the dogs
I'm heading to Boston tomorrow
Betsy wants to get life advice from VH1
I will use this in the divorce someday to get the kids
What have you learned from our show?

Tags: Boston Mystery STD Nurse FSBO

Season 22 Ep 04: Closets Full, NYC, Old Art Teacher Garb

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 12:14:53 -0500

Croncast - 2009-04-27.mp3
Show: #529
Length: 34:43
Size: 31.9 mb
Format: mp3

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Back to the normal . . . sort of
The accidental finders
People searching for cul de sac goatee
People search for that?
We last left you with the heavy mood
That's not what we're about
We're about the laughs
And I brought a funny story
Evidently they didn't have
Keep on bringing it haters
This is from your psycho needy wife
Yeah, hey loser in Fremont, we will continue to block you
Two-thirds of the opportunities are in the NYC
Start-ups are on a short life cycle
Whole life transformation . . . from cul de sac to walk-up
We have lived a city lifestyle before
I just want to have the ability to get another gig without moving after this
We have a lot of listeners in the New Jersey
Figuring out the trade-offs
Closet smoking in the garage
I need to stop that
If you want to have an f'ing discourse ping me
We're 85 percent sure that this is the path
You need to stop watching SVU
Every private school kid is committing the crimes
Mommy is an art dealer
Daddy is an architect
They are never around
Caught in the hot tub
The funniest shit happened to me
When doesn't it
I go outside the comedy shrine to have a smoke
And I locked eyes with a completely naked man
He looked at me like I had infringed his naked time
Was there a reason for him to be naked in his Escalade
This is prep for NYC
I feel like I'm just trying to be normal
And then there is the naked guy!
What time of day was this?
Noon
What was he doing?
I don't know!
You can't help but look at naked people
What do Republicans do at lunch hour?
They have naked time in their car
Rub their nudey butt cheeks on the seat
This had to be a hook-up
A bad Craig's List story
You could write SVU
It had to be Craig's List
You gotta give me the details
He also had hairy shoulders
The clothing party

Tags: Escalade naked man NYC SVU Craigslist

Season 22 Ep 04: Closets Full, NYC, Old Art Teacher Garb

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 12:14:53 -0500

Croncast - 2009-04-27.mp3
Show: #529
Length: 34:43
Size: 31.9 mb
Format: mp3

Tags: Escalade naked man NYC SVU Craigslist