mcdonalds | Croncast - From Cool to Cul De Sac

Season 19 Ep 7: Resale Queen, TV Lifting, HustleBuck

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 10:17:29 -0600

Croncast - 2008-01-21.mp3
Show: #453
Length: 27:14
Size: 18.8mb
Format: mp3

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The Resale Queen Podcast is now here!
The first show went up Saturday
Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST
Wasn't painful at all was it Mr B?
Yes, it was
It was like every first podcast
Got to get used to doing it
High I'm Betsy HustleBuck
Number 42 for the Naperville Dumpster divers
Part of Local #42 Dumpster Divers and Junkers
You should ask the people come to their houses just to pick it up
I want to buy an AmVets truckload of stuff
Sure it would save you the sifting
You could get gold bars are used Hanes
Buying a truckload?
Disturbing
Asking me where you are going to put it . . . leaves hope
It took 8 years for you to ask
Join me on the dark side Mr B
Where do I sign up to be a HustleBuck?
I had my party last Saturday
Yep, your improv people were in the house
Natural reaction is to show compassion toward animals
You enter a home and the owners are there
It is instinct to be nice to their animals
No matter what they do
Zeus was not leaving any alone
He's like a cross between a Roomba and a guest that won't leave
Yeah, he peed on her
Of course he did
She touched his ears
Her highly absorbent sock was full
Offer her a sock
What?!
Is this a McDonald's playland
You need the dog whisperer
The vet said some dogs just do that
In the animal kingdom that is a highly desirable trait
He tells you how great you are by peeing on you
You should breed him and sell them to comedians
The mess that the dog left
You were waiting to see how close I was
I am surprised you shave the back of your head
Why is that?
Because you can't see it
Unintentional dreadlocks
That is the story of my life
Kris, you take too many photos of strangers
And then you get all weird with angles
There's always a magic shot
But it is weird
Not really
You need to not rat them out to management
I have to have some recourse Mr B
Yes, you can lift the TV
Baby, I can't hold it
It was like a Tom & Jerry cartoon
If he could focus I would have asked the man
Anyone would lose faith
Maybe you did save my life, Betsy

View Kris's resume or download it

Tags: roomba Resale Queen hustlebuck improv party McDonalds Playland

McDonald's TV Commercial song Cha Cha Slide

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 08:57:00 -0600

It is shameful. I am a thirty-three year old father of a seven and two year old and I am writing this post.

That is my rationalization for how this McDonald's commercial got me hooked. The kids have it in DVR saved shows and I've seen it a at least 300 times in the last two months.

Corporate America you win on this one! You got to my juicy fruit-filled center, as a starving grizzly bear might call it. It's sappy and sad but damn if I don't love this commercial!

I like it so much I had to find it online and the song from the commercial for the kids, ahem. The artist is DJ Casper or Mr C depending on the sources I found and the song is called "Cha Cha Slide".

More than you wanted to know but I'm ok with that.

Tags: McDonalds DJ Casper Mr C Cha Cha Slide commercial songs

Betsy and her husband Kris Apr 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 09:44:32 -0500

Croncast - 2007-04-09.mp3
Show: #347
Length: 33:23
Size: 22.9mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris April 9, 2007

Kris is back from New York
Betsy starts drawing pictures of my forhead
Elliot, "Do you remember what happened after you had Maggie and you had beans in your arm?"
Lima beans in hosiery
It's April 9th . . . shouldn't the Unitarians be out burning something?
It's that time of year the fertility time
Unitarians have three open arms
The variety is what scares me
I like knowing that I can travel nearly 1000 miles from home
Look out my window and see McDonalds, Starbucks and a Friday's
Beyond the pavement
Town after town after town
Mr B, you're getting to be a worldly dude
I knew I was going to get yelled at
Everyday, I knew it was growing
No there was nothing going on Sunday
I should have left Saturday night
I had a really awesome time
Some people get to see Times Square . . . Croncast style I get to meet Geraldo
The News Corp Walk of fame
Big shout out to Jodi! Thank you so much for the tour. It was great to meet you!
I saw Bill O'reilly people getting Bill O'Reilly-ish
The nameplates, check these out
After the nameplates I come upon the General Lee of broadcasting
Check out the tattoos
They're not prison quality there old school
Right, your grandfather didn't have tattoos?
Not my side of the family, well mine did
So what did they look like?
Bill O'reilly on Anna Nicole's body?
No I'm sure he's going out to get that one later that day
Hey Nike listener's were calling you on the tour if you're down for August
Yeah these tours are cool, not the bus tour style
It's really cool to get these opportunities
Our listeners are really interesting folks
Have to say this . . . the people at Fox were great
Betsy was impressed by Jodi's purse
Coming to Seattle at the beginning of August
Mommy's depressed and daddy is out having fun
We're going to Atlanta in late August also
Let me tell you about my little General Lee
Betsy fills out the adopt-the-doggie-app
"One old lady should take care of another"
That sounds like a lesbian love ad
It doesn't sound like adopt a schnauzer?
The Red Hat Society, no sex . . . movies and chocolate
The doggies adopt out lady is the alpha dog
You're going to force me into buying one from a puppy mill
I need to see your two year old and the dog interact in a cage match
Elliot was a little gentleman
This woman is screening my children

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Tags: Geraldo The New Yorker Hotel Fox News Bill O'Reilly PodCampNYC Unitarian Holidays

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 07:06:20 -0500

Croncast - 2006-07-24.mp3

Show: #253
Length: 35:30
Size: 24.3 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris July 24, 2006

Vickie, Betsy's sister for the new listeners, finally went into 'real' labor last night at 3 a.m.. She was staying here so most of the family is at the hospital except for me, Elliot and Gigi. Being on baby patrol makes it kind of hard to put up a post. The show notes are coming.

Betsy and I are fighting, best friend style
She wants me to move out and take my stuff
I want to take an iron ans steam her to death
Kris is up in Betsy's business
Her eBay finances are a mess
Kris doesn't like being bossed
Betsy agreed to send email to potential clients . . . nothing . . . phone call . . . nope
They get crazy when they see you on the phone
I don't need Betsy as a corporate rep
Where is all of Betsy's eBay money going?
We talked about it today
Betsy made $900 this week and is -$30
Say what!?!?
She tells me why this is better than putting it on credit
She wants me to apologize
Betsy comes to her senses and says, "Kris, you have a small point."
She hands over her Pay Pal card to me so she can't spend
Lifestyle of the rich and Slowsky
Slowsky is a thirsty bitch!
Higher gas prices, higher fill-up in Slowsky thanks to WW III
Worse gas mileage than a hummer
The Gucci cash is all gone
Functioning out of a hole
She says she is going to purge most of her eBay horde
Stipulation on the card is giving Betsy cash in small amounts
Betsy is no longer CFO of Palegroove since she is handing over her personal financial reigns to me
Just wash my Legos
Cleaning Betsy's junk with Magic Erasers
Kris feels violated, Betsy wants to push me up the corporate ladder with a golf club hanging out of my behind
Kris took a gold lesson, Natural Golf, thanks to Henry for hook-up
Knowing you . . . where are the golf clubs?
It would be better to have a $900 gold club
I still can say I have never officially played golf
Turns out I am really good at hitting the ball straight
The Natrual Golf way worked for me
Test question . . . "Do you like George Bush now?"
Betsy goes on a socialworker rant
How many poor people spend $300 going to Yellow Stone from their McDonalds job?
Betsy says she has realized her calling
Trader Joes is that calling, they are her people
Finding Wooly the Watermellon for candy
If I leave Vickie will crown
Betsy gave me persmission to attend the Jaguar 2007 XK test drive event
I drove a black coupe (see pics below)
Thanks to Laura and John for their help
I recorded most of the day
The car is in my blood
"I don't give a rat's ass. I am not getting anything out of your blood."
Driving the XK took me way back to my dad's speed fetish
I shouldn't have been looking at that man like that
I could cheat on my wife. That takes too much effort . . . I'll buy a Jaguar XK
It is a mid-life crisis car not a car for a 32 year man
We'll have nothing left to show for podcasting work but a bankruptcy and a hot car

Some pics from my weekend fun.

Tags: Jaguar XK 2007 XK Palegroove golf Pay Pal Magic Eraser Kris Smith

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 161

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 07:29:46 -0600

Croncast - 2006-03-20.mp3

Show: #205
Length: 35:51
Size: 24.6mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 161

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Show Notes

Coming from studio "A" at casa de smith

From my phone:

Betsy is UU - Universalist Unitarian
Her faith was waning
Affirmation was to follow
Betsy's $6.00 donut
Veggie Tales for non-hardcore Christian
"Your had was possesed by the devil."
The kids have it right
What about a more kid oriented church
McDonalds targeting kids
Branding, playgrounds, get'em while they're young
The born-agains have the same plan
What would you say to someone who tried to give you McDonalds food for a dinner party?
Megachurches do so well, not because they don't smell like meat and dirty childrens socks
"Why you gotta be hating on peoples invisible airplanes?"
Putting pizzaz in your Jesus pants
Betsy's split personallity
Libertarian on her left shoulder, George Bush on her right and her right in the middle
What happens when you tell people you do a podcast
If you don't know what that means you aren't down with God
Maggie is evolving into a part of Betsy
How would you know
The Maggie faces - she can throw them
The cattle elevator
Kill you with a look and it makkes people nervous
It looks like the Devil came into her skeleton

Enough of the Christian metaphors, if you've ever listened before you know we are not in that camp and if you haven't listened before our philosphy is to make up your own mind.

Tags: christian mcdonalds megachurch faith

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 140

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 06:07:02 -0500

Croncast - 2005-10-26.mp3

Show: #181
Length: 23:34
Size: 16.2 mb
Format: mp3

Croncast - Betsy and her husband Kris 140

Show Notes

Reading this book right here
The poverty symposium
She know poor people
With the middle name of Wayne I am screwed
Kris Bob instead
Jorge Joe instead
Cat vs. neighbors round 3 - not our cat
I forgot her name
Making the routine
Of course I was upset I was making love to my microphones
Forgetting names in a time of need
She was listening
Jorge to the rescue to save his own hide
But she still keeps going after being proven wrong
She got nothing, walk away
You don't eat in your yard, you don't sleep in your yard animals poop in it
Aggressive to mush but mumbling
It's not my fucking cat
Such a player he needs a body double
He can be called with the sound of a can opener
The poverty book
We learn that we can survive in poverty with no problem
Living the plush lifestyle
The book was supposed to be all about me then . . .
"I know where all the best rummage sales and church sales are in town."
Old Navy cardboard day, if we need we can eat it, high in fiber and low in fat
Grandma in jail when Elliot was born
Kris keeps checking off the items on the list
What would it be like to be Paris Hilton? Oh I am hungry.
The kind of car that we would be
Betsy calls it vacation for a day
Kris is going to San Francisco for the the day
Betsy doesn't get the reimbursement process - poverty
Piecing together a meal with McDonalds Monopoly game pieces
Meeting new people
My afraidness (yes I know not a real word) of the aeroplane
Parking old planes in pending natural disaster areas for insurance money
The Yucatan

Tags: kris poverty betsy book croncast