paid | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

bills paid

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 06:16:57 -0500

The San Antonio, Doddering Bus Surfers, UES

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:14:17 -0500

Episode: #614
Length: 31:21
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Those embarrassing moments
Like smelling yourself
Baby, you looked like a pigeon
The beauty of marriage
Not really, honey
Just behave normally
That's how I will pick up the next one
The Freudian slips begin
Who is the hot lady standing at my door?
Oh, that is my wife
Whew!
I can hit on her full force
Beauty to bloodhound or Bloodhound to beauty
Betsy telling the Wheel of Fortune story grows
It has a life of its own
How I won my to Upper East Side
Sounds way better than paid off my credit cards, wah wah
No affairs with shirtless men
Nothing
Making the sacrifice
The relationship that you have with the city
And scene
Here come his stand ins
Ready to make cat calls
I did not get to go to circus school
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: ASPCA cat doddering bus surfer upper east side san antonio

Bloodhound to Beauty, Circus School, Freudian Slip

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:18:18 -0500

Episode: #613
Length: 25:12
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Tags: circus school freudian slip NYC bloodhound to beauty

Season 24 Ep 13: The Shorty Croncast

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:04:20 -0500

Episode: #613 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:03
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: smell yourself freudian slip NYC bloodhound to beauty

Partner Whiplash, Full Facemask, Psychic Dominance

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:22:35 -0600

Show: #555
Length: 27:56
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Being married to your best friend
You gave me whiplash!
I would charge $20 for that
The memory was priceless
Betsy gots paid to blog
She grabbed my hands
Told me she was a psychic
She was setting up the dominance
First you must be mind raped
You have to cooperate
He should chew on my hair to know more about me
I wore a pant suit
He tells me, "You're the type of woman that takes a lot of time with her appearance."
My job was wiping developmentally delayed kids
Not professional
I wore splatter resistance cotton to work
Success in a box
So why do I need to go see one, now?
You can't wear a full face mask in NYC
The bus driver wouldn't even let the dude on the bus
Tell me how I was freaking out?
He was wearing a rubber fucking suit
Maybe it was skeevey subway dude?
You win
You would prefer that I not work and pursue a comedy career
Why does that bother you?
My friends are jealous because you are letting me do what I want
But you're not
You, my lady, are comedian
You have this opportunity, you should take it!
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: psychic connections rubber suit professional blogger comedian face mask

Season 23 Ep 20: Croncast Sampler

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:10:43 -0600

Show: #555-Sampler
Length: 4:58
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: psychic connections rubber suit professional blogger comedian face mask

Doorman Wars, Overheard, New York Days

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 16:23:19 -0600

Show: #540
Length: 28:25
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Getting it on
Dude, that was so smarmy
You should talk like that job interviews
That way you would get every job
How are you homeless and buying brand new stuff?
I got a family and Cobra
IT skills true
Contracts and Cobra are for me
Cement truck guy got my dog and benies
Garbage picking in NYC
That couch you're sitting on was free
The doorman battles
What sort of breed are these guys?
They sweep you with your eyes
They're unionized
Snagging late night coupons when the bodega closes
You don't give that away for free!
Her mom told her that
The boyfriend was not into it
Oh, you don't have a . . .
I overpaid now
You were pretty for a guy

Tags: NYC Doormen test cement trunk bodega lottery tickets

croncast subscription info - via twitter

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 10:46:38 -0600

my puter blew up last night after i posted the show. for now click get cool in nav bar

Tags: paid rss

Croncast The New York Days

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:25:05 -0600

Croncast - 2009-12-31.mp3
Show: #535
Length: 8:42

Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Croncast the New York Days Begins on January 13th!
We're making some changes
The new shows are paid subscription
Sign up on the Get Cool page
New York is like living on an elevator
You're all up in everyone's business
You try to relax but you can't
No one can
All of the pet roles have been recast
Keeping it subterranean
We can't do a full episode, baby
Has New York changed these people
What sort of sales pitch is that
You got to pep it up!
Getting Cool 4 Life
That is the patron level
They love what we do and want to support it
People can unsubscribe at anytime
No missed days . . . we gots obligations
We also have a new live video show
That starts January 18th
It's called High Society Salvage Co.
All new, all kinds of awesome
I've got Chanel suits to auction off
All kinds of weird stuff
In conjunction with Tim Street we'll be cranking that one out
Begin subscribing by going to Get Cool
It's all good people!
Kris's cheap chair implodes during the outro
Couldn't have planned it better
It's funny to other people
All part of the story
All the old shows will still be free on the site and on iTunes
New start for us number 447
2010 here we come!

Tags: New York Kris Smith Betsy Smith paid podcast subscription unique rss feed

Season 21 Ep 25: The Breadwinner, Unhandicapped Joke, You'd Love it Here

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 12:45:36 -0500

Croncast - 2009-04-13.mp3
Show: #525
Length: 32:37
Size: 30.1 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Where the shows been?
I'm not well
Hear it in the voice
Why do men get sicker than women?
It is like quantum mechanical
Betsy, he looks really bad
No one was validating
You had a temp of 98.6
That's high for me
Legitimately sick and you just make fun of me
I talked with two people this week
That's it
It manifested as fevers, rashes, sweats, bumps
Let's give the run down
New IRS debt, no longer employed by BlogTalkRadio, starting a new business
Venture Capital is tight and requires travel
Betsy lays it all down . . . what I've learned in comedy . . . so far
Well, you are being paid
That $40 a week is going to take us through
You gotta finish strong
I picked the handicapped guy and made the most inappropriate joke
Well, the audience knew he was handicap . . . but I didn't
Later in the show my pants starts falling down
No laughs at this either
Here I am walking down the street
So what's going on with you guys then?
I'm not going to list it out again
Follow Kris on twitter
Join the Croncast Facebook group
We come around the pillars
There are people just smoking
Blowing smoke in tourists faces
Out of the corner of my eye I see these guys
Then hear, "You got this one, Phil?"
Flicks his cigarette
He's doing the new york fast walk
Of course the cop didn't care
What are you doing in SOHO with a hot dog cart in front of the Prada store?
The place of small dogs, tall women and street vendors on crack
I think you would love New York, Betsy
Sure I almost got robbed
But I even love the filthy, dirty New York
It's got high energy

Tags: Prada Store SOHO breadwinner NYC kidrobot

Season 21 Ep 17: Fly home stoned, Polyester rugs, Gesticulate freely

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 12:37:27 -0600

Croncast - 2009-02-27.mp3
Show: #517
Length: 27:26
Size: 25.2 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Get it on
Leave us some comments here or reviews in iTunes
Not really vicious
But spousal hate
Funny on many levels
A paid gig for Betsy
Will you be on IMDB?
I don't know what you're talking about
March every Thursday
Five other chicks all under me
Sounds like my kind of life
It's all coming together
Adam Carolla is now on the podcasting
Maybe we need to hire him
Six women under me
I want to write that book
Re-organized the basement
I had to get it on
Needed to change up my space
This winter is killing me emotionally
Short shorn polyester rug
It's 85 colors and shades of testosterone
Been stuck down here working for so long
I got a bit claustrophobic
Proud you cleaned up
Making space
I was afraid to touch your desk
Now I can gesticulate freely
It's like we're single again
Right from your mother's clutches to mine
You would be perfectly happy at public storage
Don't ship Grandma's meds via FedEx
So she can fly home stoned
Right, like God intended
Sherlock in Mumbai

Tags: Adam Carolla Podcast FedEx mule gesticulate freely Sherlock in Mumbai

Season 21 Ep 04: Shivering and Grumping, Venereal Stimulant, Life Plan

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 13:30:32 -0600

Croncast - 2009-01-21.mp3
Show: #504
Length: 24:07
Size: 22.1 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

This show brought to you by Podiobooks.com
Of those last week and yore
Kris, I've noticed that you've gotten chilly today
My body is cuddling itself trying to keep warm
I turned off the heat to try to force you out of the house
The cold isn't bothering me
So this was part of your master plan
A cocoon of The North Face goodness
All this little spoiled babies
Kids why don't you go see your dad
Shivering and grumping
I eat like I'm a seal
Get out, see some people
Skinny folks listen up
The chubby friend gets to make the salad jokes, Not you
The fat jokes are for me
Fattitudes about the chunky
Of course they're going to order the fries
When I lost weight I felt like a spy
Listening to people talk about the people
It's not blubber, it's a 42 in waist
The size I come is thick
I'm like a cylinder
You could benefit from some manternity clothes
My tummy isn't that protrusive
With the beard I wouldn't be a venereal stimulate any longer
Your mom probably called you that
I caught from my Buick
Someone was eating donuts in my car again
It's a medical term
Life Plan '09
Credit cards are all paid off

Tags: the north face venereal stimulant manternity clothes life plan

Season 20 Ep 25: The Audition, What's Next, Life in the Can

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:03:55 -0500

Croncast - 2008-06-18.mp3
Show: #500
Length: 29:13
Size: 20.1mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Last time I have to listen to this!
You know you like my voice, Baby
I am surprised you are not crying
It's like a Hallmark Holiday
I just wanted to make sure we hit 500 shows
Back in the day with the old gear
Doesn't it seem like you are creating more work?
Not really
Transitioning into something new
The new show is "Life in the Can"
You can get the new shows at www.lifeinthecan.com
Three days a week still and a weekly best of the three shows
The first show will be released Thursday June 27th, 2008
We're excited about the new show
It would be rad if you and I could work together
Getting paid to do the shows would be great
I went to Jeanie's house last night
Cracking open the hand carved lesbian door
No crumpled up High Life cans
The Eden like backdrop
Deer walked right up
She had deer prints on her roof
Training ground Santa's deer
Getting them presents for the house
Populating her yard with beasts
Show up and build an Arc too
Betsy "Noah" Smith
I get wait to Zeus out there
You had a part of your E Hollywood True Story
The Improv dinner theater audition
I purposely didn't tell you this, Kris
What?
Where the auditions were being held
Ok
Where was it?
At Culver's
Oh, Baby
Did you get a milkshake afterward?
Your first audition was at a fast food restaurant
It proves you want it
It's embarrassing but it does prove you want it
I'm proud of you
Most people wouldn't have gone
What's more uncomfortable than going to open mic night?
Listening to open mic night stories
We have no context for this
How did it make you feel?
Maybe she is a biker
Going out on a high note
Thanks to everyone for throwing in their support for the show
In the effort to Keep the Archive Alive
That would be funny
No it's not
Thanks for listening to everyone
Whether it has been 500 or 12 shows, thank you
We've had a great time doing the show
The new show is, Life in the Can - www.lifeinthecan.com
You just can't end it Mr B! Can you!
Keeping you happy three days a week with a bonus
Thank you for letting us entertain you.

Tags: iPhone Life in the Can LitC High Life Hallmark Holliday

Season 20 Ep 8: Husband in the Bubble, Carbon Dioxide Vampires, Nock

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:14:07 -0500

Croncast - 2008-04-21.mp3
Show: #483
Length: 38:15
Size: 26.3 mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Special note: Betsy and Jeanie are having a meetup in San Francisco May 21, 2008 at House of Shields 39 New Montgomery St., Time: 6:30 p.m., stop and have a drink or two!

One day to Earth Day
Elliot has been telling me about the poor suffering pandas for ten days
He was telling me the acid rain was burning the pandas
Which was causing them not to have babies
He asked me if I knew what trees were
He's so much like his mom
He says, "Trees are carbon dioxide vampires"
I told him that would be a great band name
He didn't get it
Two worlds collided
You bought this badminton set at Goodwill
At a garage sale
Well, it came from out of the house
Husband in a bubble
Whatever you had taught him was wrong
Proper badminton form
Let me show you
What? What you learned at La Moille badminton school?
I can't believe you tried to describe this
What the hell are you talking about?
Your boy cannot do overheard
Oh, baby
I won't even listen to you and your un-athletic skills
It's good he's not you, Kris
He just doesn't get it as I am trying to help him
You're a like a lion in the grass
Look at that birdie fly
He can't hit it back and forth
I wanted to work with him
And you wonder why he doesn't want to play with you
You are a weird nerd jock hybrid
You're a NOCK
He'll have flash backs
Badminton is where business gets done
Watching his badminton future crumbles before my eyes
Don't send the hate mail
I get it
I need to engage with him on another level
He's going through a growth spurt
He's 7 asking if the weather is changing
Sensitive to barometric pressure
Taking the kids to lunch
Ted's Montana Grill
Ted's Buffalo Hut
There is nothing more environmentally friendly than buffalo farming
What are you saying? Twice as much methane
Maggie is all about it
Elliot looks at Ted's Bison Hut
Looks left and says, I just want Subway
"I won't get a bag of chips with my burger"
Wanted to do something a bit special
He says, "Dad, I don't like fancy. I like Goodwill and Subway."
Half the time he is working on bits
What's 10 minus 8?
I think you owe me $2, Mom
I get to the foreclosure/divorce house
Ring the door bell
The laundry basket was longaberger
It was like you designed the house
There was a beautiful chandelier in his bathroom
He wanted $1,800 for it
Then he says, "I paid $23,000 for it."
They make excellent copies of this at Menards
Then, Mr B, there it was
I became the sucker
Do you like the table?
It happens
How much do you want for the table?
Well . . .
I paid $12,000 for it
This is a garage sale
The table turned to fire when he told $2,300
Can you grab me something out of that crystal wine in the box holder
It was so McMansion
It was like he was trying to get on Cribs and it didn't work out
Same outfit as yesterday
Because he is single now

Tags: Longaberger suffering pandas acid rain Ted's Montana Grill McMansion

Croncast Listener Survey Results Continued

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 18:27:16 -0500

The results continued. These were the likes and dislikes of fellow listeners.

What Listeners Like
Date	Comment
01/30/2008	Its hilarious attitude
01/10/2008	The way they talk about their lives, it is hilarious and endearing all at once.
01/07/2008	The chemistry between Kris and Betsy and the humor.
01/02/2008	Betsy and Chris are funny and real people.
12/31/2007	Very funny.
12/29/2007	real
12/28/2007	They are ""My People""
12/26/2007	Betsy & Kris are great together! The fact that they talk about ""nothing"" & can create a funny show out of it reminds be of Seinfeld. You guys ROCK!!Keep it up.
12/20/2007	The humor. They are normal people who actually like and support each other.
11/02/2007	Host are very entertaining
10/29/2007	Betsy!
10/23/2007	The hosts are great, its real life only funny
10/23/2007	Extremely funny
10/22/2007	it's hilarious!
10/22/2007	I like the hosts personally.
10/18/2007	This is the funniest podcast out there. I feel like they are my friends.
10/11/2007	they are so fucking funny!
10/04/2007	It is constantly entertaining, my favorite podcast out there.
10/03/2007	great banter between hosts
10/03/2007	Betsy and Kris do a wonderful job of airing out their lives on the air in a way that is real, funny, and sometimes even JUST A Little bit uncomfortable. Their lucky they got all that expensive equipment between them while their doing the show. In the future I see bullet proof glass..... LOL Just kidding. The show length is perfect, spot on, no waste on predetermined montages or business or reader mail or anything that's just filler to try and get a longer show. about 30 minutes or less is PERFECT. They're both Hilarious (a little respect for the Bear).
09/13/2007	I love the energy between the hosts
09/10/2007	they make me laugh out loud! and i can relate to them.
09/07/2007	lively realism
09/07/2007	the ""humaness"" of it
09/05/2007	Funny!!!
09/05/2007	Kris's laugh
09/04/2007	hilarious!!! Love Betsey and Chris, they are so funny and personable
09/04/2007	Kris and Betsy make me laugh out loud all the time.
08/29/2007	The interaction between Kris and Betsy
08/29/2007	The fact that I feel like I'm in a similar boat. Former cool guy/punk rocker turned daddy dearest.
08/29/2007	Betsy and Kris are so funny and entertaining.
08/29/2007	The real world approach to podcasting.
08/27/2007	betsy and kris
08/26/2007	Kris and Betsy are PRICELESS!!! I enjoy everything about this podcast. They are parents just like my husband and I and I can really relate to most of what they talk about. Keep it up!
08/22/2007	Honest, funny, and always entertaining.
08/06/2007	Betsy and Kris are hilarious. It's just a fun part of my week to listen to them.
08/03/2007	funny entertaining,
07/30/2007	The hosts are very entertaining.
07/29/2007	the humor. the hosts don't take themselves too seriously.
07/11/2007	The way Kris and Betsy interact.
07/10/2007	the hosts
07/09/2007	The humorous banter between the hosts. Hilarious!
07/09/2007	Great personalities, good audio quality, consistent and reliable.
07/06/2007	Betsy Smith
06/29/2007	They're a couple like me and my wife. Living vicariously through them, at times
06/19/2007	You guys are FUNNY! These questions are funny - I especially like the one that asks how much confidence we have in your ability to select cars... ;)
06/19/2007	The funny Hosts. Betsy is great.
06/16/2007	It's funny most of the time.
06/15/2007	The hosts
06/14/2007	Hilarious!

06/13/2007	FUN!
06/10/2007	They are funny and witty. Its a perfect combination of ornery and nice!
06/09/2007	I like everything about it. No special part. All of it. Takes me back to my young parent days!
06/08/2007	We(wife & I) and the podcast team are at the about the same place in life. I relate to what they normally talk about.
05/27/2007	Betsy! The real-life stories are extremely entertaining.
05/26/2007	I truly appreciate how Kris and Betsy allow me to share their lives. At times, Betsy make the mundane so hilarious that I've had to pull the car over. Thanks guys.
05/25/2007	Rapport of the hosts. Great conversational quality.
05/15/2007	Great back and forth banter between hosts. They are realistic, funny,and honest. Show reminds me of Seinfeld in that it's a show about nothing in particular just the quirks of life. I can relate with both of the hosts humor, and to Betsy's addiction to thrift stores. When Mr. B laughs really hard it's so funny!
05/13/2007	it's funny and charming to hear two people that like each other and are able to joke about each other.
05/13/2007	cool people
05/11/2007	The honesty of the hosts.
05/09/2007	Genuine Humor & the way the hosts mesh with each other
05/02/2007	Both Kris and Betsy. Their personalities complement each other perfectly. The interaction between them comes off as very ""Real"", They turn the mundane into entertainment consistantly. After all....life is show prep.
05/01/2007	Fantastic humor
04/30/2007	Chemistry between co-hosts and commentary on real-life events.
04/29/2007	It is entertaining and fun.
04/29/2007	Kris & Betsy sound authentic
04/28/2007	the day to day life of betsy
04/21/2007	The everday humor.
04/21/2007	Two people, funny
04/15/2007	The funny banter!
04/12/2007	They are the most ""real"" married couple on the planet -- absolute pure honesty and openness.
04/09/2007	The comedy aspect
04/05/2007	Chris and Betsy are very funny and creative folks.
04/02/2007	excellent humor, friendly hosts, good storytelling
03/23/2007	Croncast was a charming podcast in the early days; it becomes more difficult to listen to as Chris' ego expands. Betsy remains a joy to listen to.
03/13/2007	It's funny!
03/12/2007	The Hosts
03/07/2007	Hosts and everyday conversation that keeps me laughing.
03/07/2007	The interaction between the co-hosts and great story-telling.
03/07/2007	The hosts
03/04/2007	I have been listening since January of 2005 and I am totally hooked! Chris and Betsy are extremely funny and entertaining. When you listen to them, it is like having a conversation with your friends. I listen on my iPOD at work and I am constantly laughing out loud. The sound quality is excellent! It is definitely professional sounding. I took this for granted until I subscribed to other podcasts with poor sound (and ended up unsubcribing to them). Keep up the good work!
03/03/2007	FUNNY! (and real)
03/01/2007	Honest conversation
03/01/2007	They're my age and I can relate to the things they talk about. They make me laugh.
03/01/2007	Their relationship and how they both make me laugh: one by her stories and the other by his laugh! They are wonderful people and they have made me feel like one of the family.
03/01/2007	the hosts, content and audio quality
02/28/2007	very entertaining and fun
02/28/2007	They are just fun to listen to. Betsy is funny and so is Chris. I look forward to each episode.
02/27/2007	the hosts! The natural way they interact with each other and the hilarious things that come out of their mouths.
02/27/2007	The hosts are very funny. It reminds ne of sitting with friends in a social situation and discussing and making fun of various topics.
02/27/2007	Relationship between hosts
02/27/2007	It's fun to listen to... What else could there be?
02/26/2007	I like this podcast because I like to listen to people with lots of problems.
02/26/2007	It's funny. It's about every day life as a married couple and as a family. They pay attention to listener's feedback.
02/26/2007	Betsy
02/26/2007	Funny, good storytelling, reality based
02/26/2007	Hosts/content/Reliability
02/26/2007	I love the hosts - Kris and Betsy. They are very transparent and real and completely fun to listen to. They make the basic stuff of life hilarious.
02/26/2007	The interaction between the hosts. The stories about everyday life.

02/25/2007	The interaction between Kris & Betsy and their good outlook on life.
02/25/2007	lively, animated banter
02/25/2007	I just can't quit them.
02/24/2007	it is human and it is funny
02/24/2007	Good off-the-cuff humor.
02/24/2007	Kris and Betsy make me laugh and are just generally likable.
02/24/2007	Down to earth naature of the hosts, humor, excellent story-telling
02/24/2007	I'm an American living abroad and I listen to this religiously ... not for news, just to hear what everyday folks are up to. It's funny and interesting. This podcast rocks. Betsy and Kris are the greatest.
02/24/2007	Exceptionally engaging, funny hosts, warmth, interesting content, very high production values.
02/23/2007	the hosts
02/23/2007	Always funny and interesting
02/23/2007	Chris and Betsy are funny. It is very entertaining.
02/23/2007	Funny and comfortable
02/23/2007	the humor and interactions between the hosts
02/23/2007	I look forward to listening each week because Kris and Betsy are so entertaining. There is NO other podcast out there that gets me laughing the way they do.
02/23/2007	They are hilarious and personable. They amke you feel like you're listening to friends. But funny friends.
02/23/2007	this is the most awesome podcast that I listen to, Betsy and Chris are the best and incredibly funny. There shows are always entertaining, no if ands or buts
02/23/2007	I have no idea. It is infectuous though. They are good together.
02/23/2007	Rapport between Kris and Betsy. Overlap between my areas of interest and life issues and theirs. General witty and clever and funny outlook on life, even when it sucks.
02/23/2007	Chemistry of the hosts.
02/22/2007	they are just like us...but my goatee is shorter and i have hair on my head
02/22/2007	laid back, down to earth, Not a big production, can relate with hosts
02/22/2007	Kris and Betsy are extremely funny, down to earth, real.
02/22/2007	I really enjoy Kris and Betsy. I love their relationship and their interaction. They're very funny.
02/22/2007	Betsy is funny as shit... Kris is like robin to her batman
02/22/2007	Rapport between hosts.
02/22/2007	The ability of the Host's to play off of each other's humor. Play arguments.
02/22/2007	I really enjoy the fun the hosts have with each other. The closeness of their relationship comes through in each show.
02/21/2007	The hosts are great! Open, honest, funny and real. This is one of the five best podcasts in the known world!
02/21/2007	Nice mix of humor and serious topics. Nice banter between the hosts.
02/21/2007	Consistently entertaining
02/21/2007	They make me laugh everytime, in the way that my friends make me laugh...they are great fun and as a married person i highly identfy with some of the stuff they talk about.
02/21/2007	No ads. It is honest people talking, it doesn't have a staged quality to it.
02/21/2007	Hearing a married couple deal with similar issues that other 30-something couples face, but in thier own unique way.
02/21/2007	It is extremely funny and entertaining.
02/21/2007	the hosts
02/21/2007	Real people. Real situations. Funny as all get out.
02/21/2007	Kris
02/21/2007	the hosts
02/21/2007	Kris and Betsy are really funny and could be my next door neighbor except better.
02/21/2007	Life the Smith way!
02/21/2007	Lively private conversation between married folk
02/21/2007	I LOVE BETSY and Kris :)
02/21/2007	The dynamics of Kris & Betsy. They just have interesting conversations.
02/21/2007	The hosts are one of a kind. My wife and I can really relate to them. They are very enjoyable to listen to. I can't count the number of times I have laughed out loud while listening. They should get paid to do what they do.
02/21/2007	It's kinda funny sometimes. You can listen without really paying attention
02/20/2007	It is extremely intelligent and absolutely hilarious...very engaging!
02/20/2007	personalities
02/20/2007	The dynamic between Kris and Betsy is wonderful. Their relationship isn't perfect, but they obviously love each other and that's what makes it great. Plus they are both EXTREMELY funny.
02/20/2007	Content, Hosts,

02/20/2007	The realism. The bickering. Reminds me of my wife and myself. Just bickering sometimes to have something to talk about, pick a fight just to fight and get over it and have fun.
02/20/2007	The chemistry between Kris & Betsy.
02/20/2007	the humor of the hosts
02/20/2007	It's a slice of life that's clever and funny. The hosts have a wonderful rappor with each other and I love how they are able to make you feel like it's all in fun, like no matter what underneath it all they love each other and that's all that really counts.
02/20/2007	Honesty. Hilarity.
02/20/2007	The easy way that the hosts are able to interact with each other. Even when they are slightly ticked off - they will laugh easily and they project their relationship into the podcast. All technical details of the podcast are A+.
02/20/2007	honesty
02/20/2007	The personalities of the hosts.
02/20/2007	the humor. I can relate to them and the way they interact as a couple. I highly enjoy the banter and fun wacky topics.
02/20/2007	the frequency of podcasts, content, humor
02/20/2007	It's hilarious
02/20/2007	Comedy
02/20/2007	Kris & Betsy
02/20/2007	Reel life with real friends.
02/20/2007	Humor & relationship between hosts
02/20/2007	As half of a married couple living in the suburbs of Detroit with two kids, I relate to the content of the podcast. They make me laugh!
02/20/2007	It cheers me up.
02/20/2007	It makes me laugh
02/19/2007	Kris' laugh and Betsy's sense of humor
02/19/2007	The hosts - Betsy and Kris (the side-kick). They just brighten up my day.
02/19/2007	Betsy's ability to put up with her husband's interesting viewpoints.
02/19/2007	It's funny.
02/19/2007	very entertaining
02/19/2007	People involved it's the kind of show that only works with Betsy/ Chris so it's hard to pick anything you can do more of
02/19/2007	I like the banter back and forth between Betsy and Mr B - they argue like my husband and I do. Also, the frequency of the episodes. 3 times a week feeds wonderfully into my attention deficit disorder ;)
02/19/2007	The Hosts
02/19/2007	The chemistry between the hosts is wonderful. Betsy is hilarious. Kris seems like a completely genuine, nice guy. Together, they are entertaining and seem completely ""for real.""
02/19/2007	the great sense of humor and intimacy of the hosts.
02/19/2007	Chemistry between the hosts Quality of editing
02/19/2007	banter between the hosts.
02/19/2007	Kris and Betsy are terrific! Their conversations are the highlight of my week!
02/19/2007	everything
02/19/2007	it's fun to listen to.
02/19/2007	I love the chemistry that Kris and Betsy have. I also love how they can tell interesting stories that are funny as hell.
02/19/2007	funny, real life experiences oh, did I mentioned funny
02/19/2007	The hosts
02/19/2007	Tone and sense of humor exhibited by hosts!
02/19/2007	Betsy and Kris arguing
02/19/2007	Betsy, Betsy, and Betsy
02/19/2007	The hosts
02/19/2007	Life is show prep. they have very a similar lifestyle to us. They're local
02/19/2007	Hearing real stories about the everyday life of the hosts.
02/19/2007	The hosts are entertaining and work great together. I know when I listen to this podcast I will be entertained.
02/19/2007	Listening is like having a conversation with friends
02/19/2007	Various well told extremely funny stories, the consistency of new episodes, good quality.
02/19/2007	They are funny, real, and are a great couple

What Listeners Don't Like
01/30/2008	Nothing
01/10/2008	That they're stopping! Please, do something!
01/02/2008	I wish they were making big money from the podcast.
12/31/2007	When it's not on.
12/29/2007	the hosts are hostile to each other sometimes and the man laughs at nothing
12/28/2007	format changes but since the hosts have a real life I understand the necessity.
12/26/2007	The intro & outgo.
12/20/2007	They think we only want to hear about the good times. We want to hear about the trials, too.
11/02/2007	I like everything
10/29/2007	The way Betsy disses Kris' family. I mean come on...
10/23/2007	Occasional liberal/Democratic skew.
10/22/2007	nothing
10/22/2007	No complaints.
10/18/2007	There is nothing I don't like about it. I guess only that they are not getting rich doing it because they deserve it.
10/11/2007	kris's laugh
10/04/2007	Sometimes it is too short, I wish they had hour long podcasts.
10/03/2007	no reader from webpage?
10/03/2007	I can never catch up it seems always 2 or 3 behind.
09/13/2007	nothing
09/10/2007	that they aren't on everyday!!
09/07/2007	should be daily
09/07/2007	no video associated with it
09/05/2007	nothin'
09/04/2007	Just that I'm SO far behind in listening to episodes! (About 2 weeks behind)
08/29/2007	Sometimes it's too short
08/29/2007	It's too short!
08/29/2007	The sound of running water. It makes me have to pee.
08/27/2007	its too short sometimes but i guess kris and betsy can have a life
08/26/2007	Not one thing!
08/22/2007	Doesn't come out often enough!
08/03/2007	sometimes shows are not long enough, granted, they don't make a living off this!
07/30/2007	That they only put out a show 3 times a week.
07/11/2007	The episodes are over too quickly!
07/10/2007	i like it all, no complaints
07/06/2007	Kris Smith. He simply doesn't get how life works.
06/19/2007	Nothing comes to mind about the show. I do have a suggestion for you though - how about doing an idiot's guide to RSS feeds on the show? I haven't monkeyed around enough to get the episodes to download to my pc automatically so I can move them to my phone's memory card. I think that's what RSS is for, but I haven't had the time to mess around with it to figure it out. I know Kris knows how to do it - why not do a 5-minute tutorial on the show about how to do it? -Jennifer in San Diego (your alter ego, Dave's, wife)
06/19/2007	Life is sometimes a little boring....
06/16/2007	The new intro music.
06/15/2007	Nothing
06/10/2007	can't think of a thing
06/09/2007	There is nothing about it I don't like. Keep up the great work.
06/08/2007	They interupt each other during stories and go off on tangents, and sometimes forget to finish the original story.
05/27/2007	I have very little that I dislike about the show.
05/26/2007	I would not change a thing. I was glad to see the music between segments go.
05/25/2007	That is isn't every day of the week.
05/15/2007	Not much I don't like about the show, but one time they had a guest on, a female family friend who they were trying to find a boyfriend for and she had the worst east coast accent. It wasn't kind on the ears at all, especially for west coast listeners. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
05/13/2007	Kris annoys me sometimes. I think he thinks he's funnier than he is.
05/13/2007	sometimes weird edits
05/11/2007	Beginning music, abrupt ending, the bits of music throughout (nice idea, but they don't work).
05/09/2007	Way to much bad language

05/02/2007	Since the return of the show it seems like something is missing. I'm not sure exactly what it is. Also some of the shows seem to be rather short.
04/30/2007	Sometimes a little too much time is spent examining the clammy white underbelly of middle-American life.
04/29/2007	the language makes it difficult to listen to around my kids
04/29/2007	Can't think of anything
04/21/2007	Nothing, I love everything about it.
04/15/2007	The fact that they feel they need to edit themselves for us.
04/12/2007	Nothing.
03/13/2007	The cussing.
03/12/2007	It is too short
03/07/2007	Wish it was more often ;=) I think the website is a bit confusing.
03/07/2007	there's not really anything i don't like.
03/07/2007	nothing
03/04/2007	Not much to dislike. Maybe a show one or two times per week instead of three.
03/03/2007	nothing negative, really
03/01/2007	Episodes too frequent, twice a week would be better. Don't have time for 3 episodes a week
03/01/2007	I've just started listening and I caught a couple episodes where Kris was sick so it was 85etsy and that just didn't work as well. You need the calm of Kris to even out the excitability of Betsy.
03/01/2007	They don't podcast 2x's a day every day forever and ever and ever..duh!
03/01/2007	I can't listen to it around my kids.
02/28/2007	nothing
02/28/2007	not much
02/27/2007	I dont expect everyone to like everything but it bothers me occasionally when Kris gets adamant on how much he dislikes bicyclists or pets.
02/27/2007	Sound of mother-in-law's bath water running in background.
02/27/2007	Unnecessary use of strong language in an otherwise pretty family-friendly show.
02/26/2007	The cussing!!!
02/26/2007	sometimes, not always it can be a bit long.
02/26/2007	Not much to dislike
02/26/2007	Pretty much no complaints.
02/25/2007	The times when I want to scream at them when they're about to do something really stupid with their money again (cf. Slowsky, calculating eBay earnings but ignoring the fees)
02/25/2007	would like more frequent shows
02/25/2007	I just can't quit them.
02/24/2007	The host's sometimes frustrating inability to see how they sabotage themselves in reaching their goals.
02/24/2007	It makes me very uneasy when Kris and Betsy argue.
02/24/2007	Not often enough
02/24/2007	Hosts occasionally talking over each other.
02/23/2007	nada
02/23/2007	I wish it were every day. :)
02/23/2007	nothing...
02/23/2007	I wouldn't change a thing! My only worry is that someday they'll burn out and stop podcasting. :)
02/23/2007	huh... nothing...
02/23/2007	that it isn't everyday.
02/23/2007	The fact that I can't put my finger on why I can't stop listening to it.
02/23/2007	Month-long breaks ;)
02/23/2007	When they have to take time off. Though I understand.
02/22/2007	strange women lying around in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government, supreme executive power comes from a mandate from the masses, not from some farsical aquatic ceremony
02/22/2007	Sometimes they skip around topics alot
02/22/2007	Its not a daily podcast.
02/22/2007	When it ends.
02/21/2007	I just wish there was more, more, more!
02/21/2007	Hosts occasionally step on one another
02/21/2007	wish shows were either more frequent or longer, although wouldn't want to see what happened to nick and jess happen to them...therefore, frequency and length are fine - lol

02/21/2007	that they are taking a break soon!
02/21/2007	The upcoming podcast boycott, er, break they are taking !!!! :(
02/21/2007	Sometimes the hosts do crazy things and I want to jump through my iPod and snap them out of their decision to do something irrational.
02/21/2007	nothing
02/21/2007	That I can't listen more.
02/21/2007	Taking month off.
02/21/2007	John Elway Dodge
02/21/2007	Kris rags on Betsy too much.
02/21/2007	Kris' angry rants. I don't like when he threatens the dog.
02/21/2007	Nothing. Croncast is great. Wait, the podcast name is little too geeky.
02/21/2007	I hate it when Kris builds some big thing up for a future episode, then it turns out he just got a new job.
02/20/2007	There is nothing that I do not like about this podcast.
02/20/2007	nothing
02/20/2007	I have nothing to complain about regarding their podcasts. Never been unsatisfied.
02/20/2007	Too short
02/20/2007	The fact that they're taking a month off. You bastards. I'm just gonna have to argue that much more with my own wife to make up for the lack of you bickering. :P
02/20/2007	Not applicable
02/20/2007	the length and frequency, would love longer shows more often (sorry guys, but I love you and it's true!)
02/20/2007	I guess it's allegience to the glossy surface of popular culture without acknowledging or investigating the bredth of possibility below that surface - but that is just a token issue, I had to think about it to come up with something I didn't like.
02/20/2007	It's not a travelling vaudeville show.
02/20/2007	Sometimes I wish the hosts would seek the help of some financial planning professionals. They could then be more confident in the choices they make - and relate on the podcast.
02/20/2007	making a big deal about something that is boring?
02/20/2007	The fact that there aren't 5 podcasts per week!
02/20/2007	only complaint is that it's not daily!
02/20/2007	There is nothing I don't like about this podcast
02/20/2007	Sometimes Betsy is too mean to Kris!
02/20/2007	Not much...
02/20/2007	A live event would be interesting to hear.
02/20/2007	Swearing / foul language
02/20/2007	Sometimes Kris and Betsy's real life interupts their ability to get shows out. But... that's life.
02/20/2007	sometimes the same topic gets discussed over and over again
02/20/2007	I like everything
02/19/2007	That Kris and Betsy aren't making any money on it! They are hysterical, I would pay for that!
02/19/2007	That Betsy and Kris sound like they are about to give up doing the podcast.
02/19/2007	Chris' political views.
02/19/2007	Not much.
02/19/2007	i wish it were every day
02/19/2007	Same as above, jsut hard to think of what you can do less of
02/19/2007	hmmmmmmmm...I wish each episode was longer? Because I'm greedy like that?
02/19/2007	Nothing
02/19/2007	Nothing! It's fabulous the way it is!
02/19/2007	sometimes repetitive subjects, and episodes just to churn out more episodes even when they don't have too much to say
02/19/2007	swearing
02/19/2007	I wish there was more!
02/19/2007	I really don't have any complaints about this podcast.
02/19/2007	nothing
02/19/2007	the dog
02/19/2007	Very little. I'm not thrilled that the hosts are taking a month off, but I know this is a big time commitment for them.
02/19/2007	Betsy and Kris talking about the dog
02/19/2007	Sometimes the hosts are braindead.

02/19/2007	Nothing
02/19/2007	Would like to have more episodes per week.
02/19/2007	That they are on only 3 times a week. But that is me being selfish.
02/19/2007	Nothing comes to mind.
02/19/2007	Only 3times a week, :)

Tags: Croncast Survey Kris Smith Betsy Smith Advertising Croncast Demographics

Circus Elephant Two

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 16:40:48 -0500

This plastic circus elephant is hidden away on the way to the IMAX theater.

I've never paid attention to it before. This is one of the reasons I love MSI so much.

Tags: circus elephant reasons msi attention

Season 19 Ep 17: Small Fry, Baby Face, Knight Rider

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 09:49:40 -0600

Croncast - 2008-02-15.mp3
Show: #463
Length: 43:23
Size: 29.8mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Jeanie is in town
Leaving some comments
The guy who sells stuff on tv
Getting our first C&D
You've got to be kidding me
The links come from Ebay
Didn't want to be told
It's all ESC fault in the first place
If you get one too ESC let me know
I will roll over like the big pansy that I am
Go to Google and
Stipulation is owning those two words put together
Like I own Mr. B?
Now if you say it I am going to sue you
I will find all
I copyrighted Jeanie's CB handle 'Small Fry'
Career choices
Look she married me
One wild crazy idea
Jeanie's face
I got you something earlier this week
I got a job
Where is my present?
I paid for that
I'm going all out
Did you squeeze some ground beef out of tube
Guys, I am trying to get a career
We know Betsy
What happened to Wheel of Fortune?
Not gonna happen
Just get back to people tell them it isn't working out
Find me the chubby stay at mommy stay at home comedian
Like my improv career that I pay for
The gig fell apart
It was an association party
They don't want
Is the man in the basement telling me that I don't get out enough?
It is your lack getting out
Yeah, we're gonna perform during dinner time
I had a flash back of the belly dancers at the conference
Holding napkins over crotches slinking off
The belly dancing went down
At the next party there was a bondage demonstration
The year before they had the painted women
Ewwwwwwwww
Jeanie might recognize them from the lot lizard count
Anyone named Velma under 72 is a lot lizard
Isn't your grandma named Velma?
Yes, she is older than 72
Did the people even want you there?
Jeanie dated that guy
I didn't date anyone on the road
For technicalities sake, you did have a trucker boyfriend
What was his CB handle?
They called him "Baby Face"
Baby Face and Small Fry
Did he have to sit on a telephone guy?
Baby Face turned you into a trucker
I thought we were going to talk about my resume
Karen Zhender gender bender
Why don't you eat your weight in free cake and we can blow this popcorn stand
For out last performance
"Whew, last one"
Passing on the highway
We chatted with Knight Rider
He had to pick is own CB handle
You and who? You said we?
Me and Sweet T
Jeanie, I love these stories
Where else did you work?
As a 911 dispatcher
No way!
You've got to have good stories
He was in the evidence 'shed'
Shed?
When you destroy guns you saw them in to pieces
He was sawing
Friction and a bullet in the chamber
He swore that he checked
Officer Twinkie shot himself in the leg
Stopping speeders

The Resale Queen Podcast is now here! Every Saturday by 9 a.m. CST

Tags: Knight Rider Jeanie Bowen Velma cb handle

Apple Affiliate Program, Giving It Another Shot

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 11:47:16 -0600

I have no clue why I am giving the Apple Affiliate Program another shot. When you look at the numbers you will think I am crazy for trying again. I just can't get passed the fact that they sell a ton of iPods, MacBooks and now the MacBook Air and that we could possibly make a couple bucks from it.

Last year we were paid $0.00 by Apple after running a pretty aggressive campaign on Croncast and Resale Queen and in our RSS feeds. There is no way that in hades that not one single individual didn't buy the item they clicked on from the online Apple store in the 3 month span we ran the ads. It is illogical to look at the numbers (first table) and think that not one items was purchased from the online store within the cookie expiration period.

Advertiser	Commissions	S_Amount	Items	Sales	Leads	Clicks	Imps	CTR
eBay	$ XX	$ XX	47	598	84	351,500	59,514	590.61
Apple Store US & Apple Store Canada	$ 0.00	$ 0.00	0	0	0	218	31,192	0.69

Here's where we are in the last 4 days since I started running a couple ads in Betsy's Resale Queen feeds: blog posts and her podcast feed. The ads are for iLife '08 and the new MacBook Air. They are placed after the post item content and before the post tags.

Advertiser	Commissions	S_Amount	Items	Sales	Leads	Clicks	Imps	CTR
eBay	$ XX	$ XX	3	105	6	26,354	4,949	532.51
Apple Store US & Apple Store Canada	$ 0.00	$ 0.00	0	0	0	57	82	69.51

The clicks and impressions both are higher than I would have expected but maybe I did better targeting of the audience this time around. I doubt it. I think I was dead on during October, November and December to run iPod ads for shuffle, nano and video iPods.

I did contact the Apple Affiliate program through CJ during the second month to ask what the issue might be and never received a response.

For some reason I feel a need to go through with this again and hope that we can get our payout on a purchase from a lead that we created. I'll let you know how this goes.

Anyone else have experience with the Apple Affiliate Program?

Tags: MacBook Air iLife 08 Apple Affiliate Program Commission Junction eBay affiliate

Big buck basket, Longaberger

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 12:48:04 -0600

This is the tag from the Longaberger basket that Betsy picked up yesterday.

She paid nowhere near this price for the basket and is hoping that this one turns out to be a great score.

I still can't believe people collect baskets but these Longaberger ones people seem to love.

Will keep you updated.

Tags: longaberger basket collect believe score

Raise your Google PR, add 'nofollow' to affiliate links

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 09:59:56 -0600

For the last six weeks I have paid the price for forgetting to upload updated scripts that had the "nofollow" attribute added to text links. By not getting this done when I wanted I suffered the wrath of Google's PR (page rank) drops for those with "paid" text links.

Though, mine weren't paid, they are a home grown system that I wrote for the eBay affiliate program. Turns out the Google algorithm never asked if I was being paid for those links. Stupid robots.

The impact has been that our Google search referrals went down by over half!

This cut my average monthly take from Adsense and the eBay affiliate program to less than $200 combined. Barely enough to cover my server and not enough from Adsense to even get a payout last month. Bluh.

Since Monday I have been watching search referrals steadily climb and our Adsense and eBay money generation increase accordingly.

My recommendation to anyone that currently relies on search traffic to make some loot add rel="nofollow" to all of your text links that might be interpreted as paid.

And if you are using a text link ad company, ask them if they are using it. If not, make your own affiliate links and blaze a DIY trail that Google won't punish you for.

Tags: Adsense eBay affiliate eBay developer Google PR text links

Betsy and her husband Kris Nov 19, 2007

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 09:46:14 -0600

Croncast - 2007-11-19.mp3
Show: #435
Length: 34:52
Size: 23.9mb
Format: mp3

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Baby, I been 33 for a week and realized something
You are beautiful
You've go a style all your own
Did senility set in?
You've got the reverse mullet
I need to get this woman a PBR
You got the part up front and business in the back
A very serious paradigm shift
So sorry for you sucka
You gots to see the business coming
You have requested I sell everything I own
Mine, my stuff
I bring up your rings
What did you tell me, Betsy?
Yeah, whatever
You can get your second wife bigger rocks than these
Diamond guns
I'll have diamonds falling out of my shirt sleeves
And now after taxes we can live off of it for a month
Spending money breathing
Garrick said, "It's expensive to wake up in the morning."
Paying to get through the day
Gotta get paid while you sleep
People do buy it now while I am snoring away
We bought ourselves a little time
Thanks to Chris Brogan, Rob Shore, John C Havens and others for leads
Head over to Croncast.com and check my resume
Oh, what are you doing?
Big stress doesn't lend itself to thinking about the holidays
His TV is buying a doll and a fruit tray
I'm queen of the wives
Speaking of this
Evan and I got into trouble with this last week
"what do you wives do?"
We said "Naperville" the wives don't work
I could be making $10 slanging slurpees
And you would still be at home
We could get a Jaguar gift certificate
Maybe the Volvo should disappear?
I called ChildServ to see if I can get on schedule
Back to my story
I was Christmas shopping
I am not going buy anything Made in China
Especially not a doll
What?
Have you gone all blue collar?
They'll poison your toothpaste and feed you Aqua Dots
I don't get this
I buy retail once a year
It's ok if it is gifted to Goodwill and you get it?
Hell yes
Even American Girl Dolls are made in China
So I am working this doll tip
You can't find any dolls that are not made in China
Betsy is out to change the world
She has always been fascinated with China
Chinese history books are all over the house
I grill Betsy on it as she avoids
This isn't about improv
I think the Cultural Revolution were interesting
I am trying to make this easy for you to understand
Olympic questions next
It'll be fine as long as no one gets pregnant
Dexter on Showtime has been great this season
WGA strike
Screw the studios . . . these writers should get on with it online
Thanks to CaptRespect and MacGeek for support!!

Audience Survey, please fill this out for us
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Tags: made in china Naperville Goodwill CaptRespect MacGeek WGA strike

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 08:58:34 -0500

Croncast - 2007-10-12.mp3
Show: #421
Length: 30:19
Size: 20.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Oct 12, 2007

Show us some love and leave us a review at iTunes

Tell a Friend Friday!
Tell'em all about it
This is a rocking show . . . starts slow, Betsy is sick, but fires up
Thanks Mexico Mike/Susan, seriously?
Proxy commenters need not hide
User your real information
I know who it is, Bears
Who?
You mom
She got a WebTV
Through a proxy
My perfect job would be the skipper on a boat
The skipper of a sailboat
So, I went and bought a Jamocha shake from Arby's
Now I want to throw up
Speaking of Goodwill . . . Mike and Liz just had a baby today!!!
Congratulations to the Marusin's and Poppy Ann
Wait until you get your Goodwill gift
No way Kris, I will them something nice . . . like a store display
Going to Ben Franklin to get some paint
Unless a blind person comes and runs their fingers over it no one will know
We are really talking about a $160 present
We should get them something new
Yeah, Kris, we will get them some diapers
You need not to nerd out on strollers, explain
Why don't they call it the platform stroller?
You can sit or stand . . .let's call it the platform stroller
Special place for them to hold on
They always want to stand in the cart
What kind of vitamin deficiency makes your skin fall off?
I mean like peel on your hands
One year of hands down the pants
Baby!
That is all about moisture, Kris
Maybe you need to get sick more often
Improv round two started last night for Betsy
Not just the core group, time to move on
Betsy and her ego
I love, love this class
Yeah, it is controlled psychosis
You are nuts
The crazier the people the better
Crazy people find each other
Giving off the crazy vibe
You find out later you have it in common
Kicking it at Bar Louie with my posse
I can't believe you are still going back
Of course I am
You don't want to profit from my sexual harassment?
This is your joint now . . . your cheers
They listen to the show now
My mom paid children to teach me to ride a bike
I don't know if I ever told you this before, Kris
Told me what?
I was born dead
What?
I was blue and not breathing
That explains a lot
What else you hiding from me?
Object work in improv
They reply to me . . . "It's not a radio show"
Well, let them come in and try this
That's right . . . dead air bitch
When is it a good time to bring up being born dead?
I don't know.
Who are you? Where is my wife that was born alive?
The doctor left with a blue baby
Came back with a pink baby
Don't go to Arby's and buy a Jomacha shake

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Tags: Jamocha shake Poppy Ann Marusin Goodwill improv psychosis Bar Louie

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 08:33:30 -0500

Croncast - 2007-07-06.mp3
Show: #383
Length: 32:06
Size: 22.0mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jul 06, 2007

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The live show is in two days!
Markx got it right, "baste"
Mr B, I smell a whole line of products for you
Water sun block with a baster?
After four days at water park the chlorine was getting to me
It was Michael Jackson' favorite place . . . lots of kids and you get bleached
Showing off my chicken skin legs
Remember when I told you about the kids . . . the hair metal kids?
Yes, I remember
I was driving by Goodwill and there they were
I won't tell anyone where to go for the boxes
Is that lady out there in the Volvo?
They cut their boxes up now
I noted to myself it was strange to see the kids
Are the kids real or are you making them up from your subconscious?
So the drummer from Ratt is standing there playing lookout
Which I realized after working in the group home and seeing kids act this way
His other Ratt band mates were in the dumpster
I didn't get it
Why not, baby, it was behind a movie theater
They were after posters and stuff
Turns of that they are your kind of people
I was looking at them as little baby thugs
Oh, baby
Kris' cell phone doesn't work in the basement
I need you to look this up on eBay
I can't hear you
What is it?
It's used retard! Gently carried, slightly touched
Then you tell me to put it back
That's four times my investment
I did find, however, a new threat to my Goodwill goodies
What does Kris have for show prep?
I got out int he world and went to see accountant
We had some tax debt and it turns out we have even more tax debt
I hope the accountant did that
What! What Mr. B
Booba, you gotta listen to me
The feds, uncle sam, is a greedy bitch and wants his money now
Accountant says, you're not in trouble
Yes, I am . . . with my wife
I need to explain to you why I am thinking of cashing out my retirement to pay taxes
You don't understand, my life could be in danger
Betsy is going to Valhalla and learning to use heavy weaponry
Betsy tries to play it off
Somehow she must not have been here during the windfall
I lucked into a windfall
That's ok Mr. B if you want to apologize again
I know you've already blown your top
How did your mom know?
I didn't tell her
Nobody can make me feel any worse
I was watering the lawn experiment and realized I could have paid for the kids to go to college
I spent all that money, I didn't have a plan, I thought the money would keep coming
It's slowing down, it's slowing down . . . can we maintain
You're mom said, "Why do you feel guilty?"
Let him feel guilty
I am getting exhausted by life lessons
Breaking the dumpster diving rules
The unitarian karma is in effect with you and those kids
I am having an "eh" week
Elliot's behavior has been tough
Sorry to be a downer but, damn
We gotta be there to back one another up
Big deal, appliance deliveries today
Live show Sunday night . . . ready for you on Monday!

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Tags: Valhalla Michael Jackson Goodwill movie posters tax accountant

My official and completely unscientific grass growing experiment

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 11:24:03 -0500

As most of you know, I am a lawn hater. I am a man allergic to lawnmowers and weed whackers.

After much ado around here about the lawn I have been forced to attempt to grow grass in some bare spots around the yard. Over the next few weeks I will be experimenting with a new area of the yard, posting photos and commenting on, well, watching grass grow.

The impetus for doing this unscientific lawn experiment is that about a month ago in separate barren ares in the yard I threw out two types of grass growing material - seeds and only seeds (Material #1) in one area and in the other some super fancy patch filling mulch, seed, fertilizer stuff (Material #2) - and one of the grass growing materials appeared to outperformed the other. I say "appeared" because after 3 weeks of watching Material #2 bleach in the sun and lose its pretty blue hue I threw grass seed all over it and by the end of the week I had patchy grass growth. I say it was the seeds and Betsy says that it was the magic of Material #2.

Of course, there are other reasons for the experiment like that I don't really care if I have two different shades, lengths or blade widths of grass next to one another, as some green grass nuts might.

So now I have a rather large area in my yard dedicated to watching the grass drag race to the sun it a fight for survival (it is my yard, it will die in future). I mean compare how Material #1 and Material #2 perform under the same conditions and with equal sunlight and water, as equal as an unscientific can be.

Here's the breakdown:

Material #1 - Scotts Turf Builder grass seed (the Spring Seeding Mix variety). It can be viewed on the left side (Patch A) of all photos.
Material #2 - Scotts PatchMaster Lawn Repair Mix (the Sun and Shade variety). It can be viewed on the right side (Patch B) of all photos.
Sunlight/shade
Water in the morning and evening for about 5 minutes
Rain
Random dog fertilizer (poo)

Disclosure: I'm sure you've guessed that I am not being paid for this by Scotts.

Experiment photos day 1

Previous - Material #1 only

Previous - Material #2

Tags: Scotts Turf Builder Scotts PatchMaster Lawn Repair grass seed growing grass in shade lawn care for lawn haters

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 06, 2007

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 09:37:46 -0500

Croncast - 2007-06-06.mp3
Show: #372
Length: 23:06
Size: 15.8mb
Format: mp3

Betsy and her husband Kris Jun 06, 2007

Tickets are on sale now for the live show . . . get your's or find out more

Join Croncast Cronies . . . thanks to all those signed up already!.

Sorry this is late, I'm on the road today and have to get to what I get paid for . . . making podcasts for other folks like this dude.

I'll be back in the man pit for Friday's show. Expect at least 150 words worth of show notes.

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Tags: dog therapist attacked by cat cat people circle of life love interest