people | Croncast - Life is Show Prep

Talking To Strangers, Back In Ville, Cat Call

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 10:26:26 -0500

Episode: #762 | Length:28:32 | Format: mp3

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She's been gone and I'm talking to strangers
Naperville Goodwill run
Back to People Don't Kill People

Tags: betsy smith kris smith new york nyc hurricane

Open Low, Hair Brush Blue, Some People

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 22:15:09 -0500

Episode: #748 | Length: 24:01 | Format: mp3

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Say some more :)

Tags: betsy smith kris smith new york nyc the good

Dude From L.A., Proper Table Talk, Killates

Wed, 30 Mar 2011 09:12:59 -0500

Episode: #722 | Length:27:48 | Format: mp3

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Yelp can't handle it
People from LA
New Yorkers don't have attitude
Proper table talk
Rich dudes
Pretended to get the wheel stuck
That would be groovy pie
Who let him in?
Same psychographic
So you're back
Pilates is not very manly
Everything that you ever wanted to know about pilates
It should be called Killates

Tags: croncast best of 2010 funniest podcast longest episode

The Beat, WP No Good, She Say It

Fri, 25 Mar 2011 11:39:47 -0500

Episode: #720 | Length:26:05 | Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Betsy gets her serious nerd on
How can people charge for WordPress?
Site number two under construction
Gary and Judy roll out
It was great while they were in town

Tags: funniest podcast best of 2010 kris smith betsy smith

Bodega Cat, Instinct, On With Miserable

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 20:35:12 -0600

Episode: #709 | Length: 28:32 | Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Without notes
I watch our SEO slip away
But surprise if it doesn't make more people listen!

Tags: betsy smith kris smith croncast bodega cat slow atm

to my people at the gnomedex - via twitter

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 19:55:27 -0500

wish i could be there. treat her well, nerds.

Tags: gnomedex seattle timshifted delaney

The IDF, Tats and Tears, East River Paddle Surf

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 16:05:30 -0500

Episode: #664
Length: 31:45
Format: mp3

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Friday the 13th
No I won't get out of bed
Talk soft it won't know we're here
Call from the IDF
The International Doorman Federation
Tats and tears
Only Ivy League white people
Who paddle surfs on the East River?

Tags: friday 13 that friday the idf international doorman federation east river paddle surfing

Pizza Origami, With Puppets, Lengua Burrito

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:45:04 -0500

Episode: #646
Length: 29:40
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Bringing the lengua
I don't hold back on the tongue
The sad sack makes up for it
To be depressed I'd have to climb a ladder to get there
So I get a lengua burrito from the burrito van
That is a worthy prize
The food here totally sucks
Pizza origami
Leave it to NY to fuck up a burrito
The cat diet
Complain about the food
He would love tongue
And he's discreet
Carrying the Whole Foods bag
I care
That is what it is supposed to say
Just realized that you and Jeanie are the female Beavis and Butthead
I've seen the photos of you too
It's the Facebook people
You're drooling on stuff
The fake Temperpedic bed
Pride in the individuality
My life would be better with puppets reenacting it
I want my waterproof tape
Mid-twenties hipster buys a pregnancy test

Tags: lengua pregnancy test waterproof tape pizza origami whole foods

Season 25 Episode 21: The Croncast Shorty

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:23:30 -0500

Episode: #646 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:35
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: lengua pregnancy test waterproof tape pizza origami whole foods

What Just Happened?

Thu, 27 May 2010 08:25:02 -0500

Life is show prep takes on a whole new meaning when it pertains to me going renegade as Mr. Mom. Creating a lunch for the five year old from Dr. Pepper and popcorn takes skill, a blind eye to nutrition and nod to my own childhood desires. Making memories here, people!

Along this line of reckoning, as Betsy was starting her corporate groove, her day was filled with all things new. Maybe not new, but after a decade of kicking it with our progeny, this transition is refreshing.

My experience, her experience . . . a day without a show it brings. For this we are both sorry. We were wiped out at the end of the day and didn't bring the goods.

Tomorrow, we'll bring the goods. And this weekend, we'll bring a special delivery of the goods for weekend laughter.

No. Maggie. You can't give the cat Dr. Pepper!

I gotta run. Talk with you soon.

Tags: croncast episodes kris smith betsy smith life is show prep

Kris Wayne, Sweatband King, Man Makeover

Fri, 14 May 2010 17:35:49 -0500

Episode: #627
Length: 29:04
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

This episode is one of our funniest to date
Adversity makes a more comedic individual
Kris Wayne
Sweatband business
Sweatbands by Kris Wayne
Going totally fashion legit
We need to get you a make over
People just think you're angry
Like I'm a scary pirate
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: scary pirate angry dude Kris Wayne sweatbands

Season 25 Episode 02: The Croncast Shorty

Fri, 14 May 2010 17:29:44 -0500

Episode: #627 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:02
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: scary pirate angry dude Kris Wayne sweatbands

Mommies Day, Jiffy Pop, Mermaids

Mon, 10 May 2010 17:11:51 -0500

Episode: #625
Length: 29:05
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Lumps of dirty clothes
These are clean
In a pile
You failed my mother's day test
Why are you testing me?
You should have told me it was test
People thinking ahead
I just want to be in the zone
As long as the number 13 stop following me around
I had a rocking mother's day
Other mommies are like, "we're going to brunch"
It sounds painful
Great for his birthday but not for mommies
The financiers mating with mermaids
Traditionally I spend the holiday alone
I want to that too
The Forenza
Yeah and the OBR (Out Back Red)
They yell
No words for please or thank you
BYOT (Bring Your Own Tarp) to Goodwill
I can hear it all
I know what is going on
I could stage direct Goodwill
So for Mother's Day you make me brownies
I hate brownies
How can you not know that?
The brownie with sprinkle frosting
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: Jiffy Pop financiers mermaids brownies BYOT

Season 24 Episode 25: The Croncast Shorty

Mon, 10 May 2010 17:00:53 -0500

Episode: #625 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:18
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: mommies day financiers mermaids brownies BYOT

Season 24 Ep 14: The Croncast Shorty

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:12:38 -0500

Episode: #613 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:03
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Kicking it in the San Antonio
ASPCA cat eating the bed
Not a new animal
A shitzu mouth is not cleaner than a humans mouth
The hospital people told me so
The cat watcher
Why would you want to leave NY?
Buying all of the balloons at the fair
Rickshaws pulled by dogs
That would rule
15 sexy golden retrievers
Doddering bus surfers
Old people swearing is wrong
They're too cute or too old
The comics
Partying at the G
Winning your way to the Upper East Side
Trying harder to be fabulous
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: ASPCA cat doddering bus surfer upper east side san antonio

Legless Junker, iPad Love, Birthday Booze

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:21:46 -0500

Episode: #612
Length: 29:00
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Fixing the iPhone streaming issue
Apple is tough on this
One day it just quit working
I feel like the worm in the Apple
I have a new enemy, Kris . . . red wine
I've seen you use a Night Train bottle as a pillow
Can you just breathe in my face
Birthday party and free booze
You lack control
Drinking with the ladies means sleeping on the bathroom floor
You are 34
That is too classy
You can't throw up in front of the baby sitter
Your pillow next to the bath tub
5 feet 9 and your feet are hanging out into the hallway
If I took a photo people would think it's a crime scene
The last time I got that drunk . . .
Please, do you hear yourself
Well, you're not a lady
Love hanging with the nerds
You can't bring McDonalds in the cab when you're gonna puke
We were like two Hummers walking down the sidewalk
Chatting with the baby sitter
I love your iPad
I am going to wear the same clothes out tonight
After I spray myself with Febreeze
Back to Illinois
Garage sale times
He passed me
Legless junker
The 1995 Barbie was the prize
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: birthday booze baby sitter iPad love legless junker custom scooter

Season 24 Ep 12: Croncast Shorty

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:07:32 -0500

Episode: #612 The Croncast Shorty
Length: 4:34
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Tags: birthday booze baby sitter iPad love legless junker custom scooter

Lockdown Interview, Holiday Deities, Olympian Judo Champ

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:04:35 -0600

Show: #553
Length: 31:48
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

I don't mean to brag but I can wash my clothes at will
The ultimate walk of shame in NYC - laundromat
You can make a living here face painting or suing people in New York
What was the magician's name?
Her name?
What?
Yeah, her.
That is awesome
The Holiday Deities
Betsy busted out to get to Naperville
Because you took me to your job interview at the prison on lock down
Of course that is normal
Am I supposed to leave in two years?
You should have left me last year
Attacked by a former Olympic Judo champ
Reprogrammed by a sloth
I need to wake up, eat and take a nap
Quasi homeless former Olympians have nothing to look forward
No, like Hulk Hogan
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: laundromat holiday deities olympic judo hulk hogan

Season 23 Ep 18: Croncast Sampler

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:56:45 -0600

Show: #553-Sampler
Length: 4:25
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

I don't mean to brag but I can wash my clothes at will
The ultimate walk of shame in NYC - laundromat
You can make a living here face painting or suing people in New York
What was the magician's name?
Her name?
What?
Yeah, her.
That is awesome
The Holiday Deities
Betsy busted out to get to Naperville
Because you took me to your job interview at the prison on lock down
Of course that is normal
Am I supposed to leave in two years?
You should have left me last year
Attacked by a former Olympic Judo champ
Reprogrammed by a sloth
I need to wake up, eat and take a nap
Former Olympians have nothing to look forward
No, like Hulk Hogan
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: laundromat holiday deities olympic judo hulk hogan

Season 23 Ep 09: Croncast Sampler

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:11:13 -0600

Show: #544-Sampler
Length: 5:54
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes in full Get Cool!

Hey hey
Those comments are gonna flow
Yes, I've had hamsters before
This would be a fourth
Well, it is a fourth
How did you have four hamsters?
What happened to them?
Kris tells a story that should never be told
I don't want to go into all of the things I learned in La Moille
You set me up for a lifetime of chores
I didn't walk away
I'm still here
No matter how much like a midget New Yorker and it's cute it won't work
As it is we can't have the landlord in to fix anything
Just don't tell Mommy
Daddy's buying me a hamster
You have no idea
I do know
Feral hamsters don't count, Kris
Glow in the dark ball back in the day
Pets didn't last me all that long
I tried to cram it down the Sesame Street slide
No it didn't die
Does you mom still have that?
It aint' a rabbits foot, it's a hamster foot
Look, is was common at that time
Aluminum foil on the bottom
What?
That is what they said to do
Who?
The people at the pet store
<-- sampler show ends -->

Tags: croncast kris smith betsy smith season 23 ep 08 get cool

Daddy Justice, Aluminum Lined, Long Memory

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:06:28 -0600

Show: #544
Length: 28:09
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Hey hey
Thos comments are gonna flow
Yes, i've had hamsters before
This would be a fourth
Well, it is a fourth
How did you have four hamsters?
What happened to them?
Kris tells a story that should never be told
I don't want to go into all of the things I learned in La Moille
You set me up for a lifetime of chores
I didn't walk away
I'm still here
No matter how much like a midget New Yorker and it's cute it won't work
As it is we can't have the landlord in to fix anything
Just don't tell Mommy
Daddy's buying me a hamster
You have no idea
I do know
Feral hamsters don't count, Kris
Glow in the dark ball back in the day
Pets didn't last me all that long
I tried to cram it down the Sesame Street slide
No it didn't die
Does you mom still have that?
It ain't a rabbits foot, it's a hamster foot
Look, is was common at that time
Aluminum foil on the bottom
What?
That is what they said to do
Who?
The people at the pet store
<-- sampler show ends -->
That is the way it was done
Was it like 1840 Louisiana?
It didn't do him any good
Just like you didn't end up with straight arms
The way that it is
If he's smart he won't eat it
Was your crib lined with foil?
He decided to do himself in
Brittle plastic bottom
It was a bird cage
I can't even look at you
Why did he die? I don't know
I highly doubt you had a hamster
It was really a dead parakeet
This is my friend Pete
No wonder the neighbor kids never played with me
Oh my god, that is dumb!
Maybe it got bird food
I lived in a blissful bubble till I met you
Oh, baby
Dylan's Candy Bar is worth the trip to NYC with kids
Maybe I shouldn't have done it
She will never forgive me
She's got a great memory
Don't go buy a hamster
Oh! And if you use the Twitters, check out Ville - http://ville.ag

Tags: hamster pet store dylan's candy bar new york la moille

Green Pants, Entering the Scene, Chicagowaukee accent

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:40:15 -0600

Show: #542
Length: 30:33
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

I walk out on the stoop every morning to pick up the Times
I have on my robe, bunny slippers
You wish you could afford the Times
That's true
Or had a stoop of my own
Trampled by clicking heels heading out of the building
What I like about New York is you can count on people
You can trust them
However, you can't trust the New Yorkers that wear green pants
They will slam doors on you
Push you off the curb in front of a bus
The have an alliance with leprechauns
It's true
Trying to transcribe your kids homework from accented folks
We couldn't understand each other
You're accented now too, baby
You've toured the midwest
They can't understand you
Your Chicagowaukee accent
It's all about dominance in NY
Passive dominance is the flavor of the relationship
It's like entering an improv scene
Costco in the city experience
99/100 emails are for you
We did get noticed on the street
We handled it horribly
The kids were like what?
Really you know who I am?
The walking class is stuck during the NYC marathon
Only people left were us and the runners

Tags: Chicagowaukee leprechaun bunny slippers NYC marathon

Eyebrow scaping, Subway Dance Crew, Celebrity Encounters

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:29:45 -0600

Show: #539
Length: 30:25
Format: mp3

To listen to this and all new Croncast episodes Get Cool!

Server issues today, apparently the it ate the show and post
Thanks to those that sent messages!
Betsy thinks that I shave between my eyebrows
I'm just flakey and y'all scrape my flesh
Betsy wants to talk celebrity sightings
Mark was in town and we went to Kidrobot
And who else, Kris?
Mr. I'm Rick James, Bitch
Just us
I can't stand the fact you get to see all these people
On to pizza
NY is so awesome for show prep
The old man says, I'll be there in 15 minutes
Am I going to jail today?
Not today?
But I am still going to jail, yes?
Yes.
The dance crew gets on the subway

Tags: kidrobot dave chappelle subway dance crew celebrity encounters eyebrow shaping

The Penthouse, Bedazzled Shirts, Purse Selling Zombies

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:44:52 -0600

Show: #537
Length: 28:09
Format: mp3

I can't tell you the story off the show
There is safety on the show
A good tight story
Directors cut?
Just tell me the story
Three hundred people waiting to get in . . .
And then us
Yeah, with you I don't think club with a 'K'
It looks like John Goselin fell from an airplane and exploded
All too much
The 6'8 400 lbs bouncer comes over
Failed arena football player
Heading to the penthouse party
Yes, I'll take you up right now
I don't fit at all
The head neck move dance all together
We make our way in
Turns out it is a Penthouse part
Not a penthouse party
Was TMZ there?
They see you the music stops and they ask who let this guy in
Schlumpy midwestern guy, who let him in?
I was on the of the line
Sure the Pussy Cat Dolls were doing there show
Did they say i gotta go to the bathroom
No, but they did let me know I might not get in
Leave you outside?
Yeah, but I totally understand
Gonna make it happen
I know that you know that I am impressed
You aren't making eye contact with me
We get into the VIP area
That was it
Didn't know what to do after that
Then the free drinks began
They brought out the Cristal
It was a cliche of cliches
Everyone is loving it
The AVN awards ends and the adult stars start showing up
Every Ed Hardy design was represented
Bouncers couldn't figure out who or why we were there
Let me tell you what we were doing while you were partying
I took Maggie to a craft shop
Where?
On Canal Street
Nice
Yeah, I was attacked by purse selling zombies
I would call you from hell, but not bother you from heaven
That's marriage
The store was half empty
Right, cuz all the embroidery thread was needed for the shirts in vegas

Tags: Pure Las Vegas VIP Penthouse Party schlumpy Ed hardy

The New York Days Begin, Feral Las Vegas Cats, Costco Lust

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:45:58 -0600

Show: #536
Length: 40:05
Format: mp3

Thank you!
To all those that are cool . . . you rock!
If you're not cool, you can get cool
Why start on the 13th?
I can't avoid the number - I should embrace it
It's always in my address
Homeless guy that sleeps in front of only that address
Working on the streaming version player
Will be ready by Friday
How should I know that 3XL in gay is in XL?
I thought things were fancy in Naperville
Until I experienced Elliot's public school
Can anyone ring the bell at NYSE or NASDAQ?
Grammy tickets?
Where is this place and who are these people?
Having a nice car in New York
She has a huge Range Rover
What are we?
We're the Walking Class
Party at the wine bar for the parents
I don't have a baby sitter
No worries, my nanny can watch your kids too
Thanks but I can't get there
Don't worry my husband has a car service
I was just at Costco, you bitch
No idea how I would even get there
The suburban delights are missing here
No alone time here
What kind of hell is to be in Las Vegas for a week
You would sleep with a girl named Debra
I did leave Miss Debra to do her thing
My hotel turned out to be a motel
And yes it had feral cats
I could hear water dripping
Sure, that was the dead hooker in the wall
Fresh sponge paint on everything
If you had been raised with a vagina
You never would have accepted that room
Setting me for slaughter
I thought I was dead
You have a story to tell me Mr B
Friday, baby
It is too long
You went to a penthouse party in Las Vegas
No, a Penthouse party in the VIP
I've got no idea how to describe it

Tags: Get Cool NYSE The New York Days Miss Debra No tell motel